“Da da duuuh, da da duuuh, da da duuuh, du-dum~”
Spike bit his lip to keep from humming any more of that melody Pinkie had taught him for sneaking around. It did sound pretty good, but he wasn’t sure if humming to himself was quite the best thing to do to not be seen.
Quietly easing the door to the grand hall open, he looked around the dark room for anything moving before tip-toeing his way over to the huge Hearth’s Warming tree and the stacks of gifts arranged under it.
“Alright, let’s have a look.” He put on a serious face and carefully grabbed the first gift with his name on it, holding it to his ear and softly shaking it. The quiet clinking and jostling of gemstones reached his ear and he grinned to himself for a short moment before putting it back down just like he’d found it.
He went through a couple more gifts that way, carefully shaking them, sniffing them and weighing them against other gift boxes to compare before his claws knocked against wood and he paused, looking down in confusion. There was an odd little wooden clock shaped like a simple tiny house or maybe clock tower, with a door at the bottom.
“Huh… was that here before?” He checked the name tag that said it was for him, before turning it around to see the words ‘From Discord’ on the back of the tag. Picking it up he looked a little closer, even more confused now why Discord of all people would send something boring like that. “This is weird… Is there some kind of trick to this or is the trick just that I’m confused?”
“Merry Hearth’s Warming!” The door of the clock suddenly popped open with a chime and a springboard on a spring popped out, a small yet not small enough Discord in a purple and green Spike costume standing on top of it and being carried right into Spike’s face. The dragon yelped and flailed back in surprise, dropping the clock only to find it floating up instead of down, the dressed up Discord pulled back into it despite the fact that even his butt alone seemed larger than the whole clock.
Spike blinked, finding his balance again. “...Discord?! Wait, it’s not even-” He glanced at the clock face to see both hands right at the top. “It’s already midnight? Wait, that’s not important! Discord, why are you in my clock?”
“I’m not Discord, silly! I’m Spike!” The Discord(?) popped out again, blowing a raspberry at him and forcing him to take another step back in surprise before the springboard pulled back in.
Spike thought he saw some tapes all over the draconequus’ costume but was a little distracted by an odd crinkling sound coming from below him. He looked down in panic, afraid that he’d stepped onto a gift and torn the wrapping, but found to his relief that it was only the sound of his foot on the crystal floor when he’d stepped back. Something about that didn’t seem quite right though. “Wait… hey, what? No you’re not! I’m Spike!” He thought for a moment, then scrunched and stepped forward to glare at the clock. “And also my butt definitely isn’t that big!”
“Of course it is~!” The door opened again and Spike suddenly got a face full of soft, crinkly purple dragon butt, his hands held out ineffectually to try and push his back as the cloud of pink and purple powder puffed into his face made him feel all dizzy.
“W-what’s…? Are you wearing a diaper?!” Spike wobbled a little as the disguised Discord pulled back in once again, staring at the floating clock with one eye wide and filled with green swirls, making him feel even dizzier.
“But of course, what else would a baby dragon be wearing if not a thick cushy diaper?” The purple butt suddenly came back out again, hitting him in the face a second time and causing him to fall on his thick cushy diaperbutt with a loud crinkle. He blinked slowly, staring up at the tiny Discord Spike through his swirling eyes.
It popped back in and Spike sat there for a moment in a daze, eyes swirling and head feeling fuzzy and fluffy and stuffed full of poof, his frilly butt and his puffy belly feeling bigger and heavier than he remembered and stretching his tapes.
He looked up as the clock popped open again, only to find Discord popping out, pointing and laughing at him. He blinked in confusion several times before sitting up a little straighter with a blush and a pout. “H-hey! Stop laughing at me!”
“Sorry little baby butt, but a big pudgy crinkly diaperdragon like you is just too funny~” Discord winked and blew a raspberry at him before popping back into the clock.
Spike blushed more and wobbled to his feet, moving forward to glare at the clock from up close again so Discord could hear him. “Well, it’s not nice! A-and I’m not a big pudgy crinkly diaperdragon!”
The clock opened again only for Discord Spike to pop out again right into Spike’s face, grabbing his cheeks with both puffy plush paws and press a big smooch on his lips.
Spike squeaked and blushed even more, stumbling back and blinking in confusion. “I-I… what?”
“Gosh, but doesn’t it feel so good when people laugh at your big frilly silly diaperdragon babybutt~?” Spike popped out with the clock’s seventh chime, wiggling his big frilly crinkly purple butt at him.
“T-that’s not… it doesn’t… feel good?” Spike whined and stumbled a few more steps back, the clock floating after him.
“Doesn’t it though~?” Spike popped out yet again, this time shaking his hips and blatantly rubbing both paws into his crinkly pamps. “I’m Spike and I’m a squirmy blushy pokeypamps diaperderg~”
“S-squirmy blushy… pokeypamps diaperderg?” Spike squeaked and stopped backing away, instead squirming and rubbing the front of his diaperderg pamps.
“Oh yes, and there’s only one thing better than being laughed at for being a silly frilly babybutt diaperderg doing his prissypamps potty dance~” Spike popped out dancing around, looking rather clumsy and silly as he pressed his paws into his pamps.
Spike blushed and started dancing as well, waddling and squirming and shaking his butt at the clock. “O-oh? And what’s that?”
“Why making others look even sillier and funnier than yourself, of course. And your good friend Discord is just the draconequus to help you play your diaperdragon tricks on your friends~” Spike winked and gestured him closer.
“He… mmmf. He is?” Spike waddled closer, waiting for an answer before leaning in to try and look through the doors. “H-hello? How many times did this- mmmpppfff!”
The clock chimed for the twelfth and final time, Discord popping out and pulling the silly frilly dragon into a big smooch, only this time he didn’t let go when the board pulled back into the clock. Spike squeaked and blushed and returned the kiss, eyes swirling faster as he was pulled headfirst through the tiny doors of the clock, his puffy and poofy self getting squished and squeezed halfway through before his butt got stuck. He wiggled and kicked his legs, slipping and squishing further inside inch by inch until with a final pop his tail slipped in and the doors slammed shut behind him, leaving him squished up against Discord inside the just-barely-big-enough clock, squirming and panting and drooling as his eyes swirled and his pamps poked and his head was filled with poof and floof and thoughts of tricking Twilight.
“Good morning, Spike. Happy Hearth’s… Warming?” Twilight blinked, looking around the empty hall and the untouched pile of presents under the tree. “Huh, that’s odd. I think this is the first Hearth’s Warming that Spike isn’t awake way before me.”
She paused and narrowed her eyes when a few of the presents moved slightly. “Spike? Did you sleep in the gifts again? I told you to stop doing that, now you’re going to be wound up all morning and cranky all afternoon and evening.” She frowned and started to shift some of the pile to the side with her magic. “Do you hear me, Spike? You can come out now. Spike?”
“...Spike?” Twilight stepped closer and looked over the spread out array of gifts with no sign of any dragons between them. “Maybe he really is still in bed? Strange, I could have sworn…” She trailed off as one of the gifts wobbled slightly with a sound of creaking wood.
“What…? Who would send a clock as a gift? Except Rarity. And Pinkie. And- okay, so I know several people who would probably do something like this but I’m pretty sure this wasn’t here last night.” She picked the simple little house with the clock face up in her magic and pulled it closer for a better look at the tag. “For Twilight… from Discord. Oh great, is this another one of his tricks?” She flinched back slightly as a crashing sound came from inside the clock, louder and more distant than such a tiny thing should be able to produce. “What’s going on in there? I swear, if this is some plot to ruin Hearth’s Warming…”
She paused again when she heard what sounded like a voice and giggling coming from the clock, muffled by the door. “Is someone in there? Or is that another trick?” She knocked on the clock, hearing more of the voice, but still too muffled to make out words or anything of the kind. “Hello? Is somepony in there? Can you hear me?”
The voice seemed to respond, but if anything it sounded even more unintelligible. Twilight frowned and held the clock up to her ear, knocking on it again with a hoof. “What was that? Can you talk a bit glergl!”
She went stiff and cross-eyed as the doors of the clock suddenly slammed open and something popped out, going straight through her head and popping out the other ear. A small plank of wood on a spring was bouncing next to her head with a pudgy crinkly purple dragon on it dancing and shaking his butt and yelling “Happy Hearth’s Warming and a crinkly poofed rear~!”
Twilight twitched and blinked, a bit preoccupied with the sudden stuffed feeling in her head to properly contemplate that. “Wha-? Guh… gyerk!” She twitched again as the spring pulled back in again just as suddenly, the dragon clinging to the plank and getting about halfway back into her head before his big crinkly rump got stuck, squishing up against her ear. Twilight started stumbling sideways as the clock started tugging rhythmically, pulling her off balance each time the dragon’s crinklebutt squished further up her ear and filled up her head.
There was a sproing and the dragon finally popped fully through her ear, the plank going out the other end and slamming back into the clock. The clock itself tumbled to the floor with a clattering sound, the doors firmly closed again, Twilight barely managing to keep from following after it. She groaned and shook her head, stumbling around a little on wobbly legs as her eyes spun dizzily. “Ugh… That was really weird, even by Discord’s standards. I swear, if that draconequus shows his face here after that I’m going to cuckoo!”
Her eyes crossed and her mouth opened wide, tongue pushed out straight and stretching half a foot in front of her muzzle to show a tiny Spike in a purple alicorn plushsuit batting his eyelashes and talking in a fake falsetto. “I’m going to give him a big ol’ smooch to thank him for sending me such a silly gift~!”
Her tongue suddenly snapped back in and Twilight stumbled back, eyes spinning a little. “I, uhm, w-what? I-I mean, I suppose it’s only polite to thank someone for a gift b-but…”
There was a poof of smoke as Discord appeared in front of the Hearth’s Warming tree, looking around. “Did somepony call my name and-slash-or dare me not to show up somewhere?” He spotted Twilight and stretched to lean closer with a grin. “Why if it isn’t my favorite purple pony primmmmmf?! Why, Twilight, I didn’t know that you felt that way about me~”
Twilight squeaked and let go of him, blushing and wiping her muzzle. “Don’t look at me like that. That was just to thank you for that gift of yours, so don’t read anything into it. I’m hardly going to give you a big ol’ smooch for your looks, cuckoo!” She went cross-eyed again, tongue stretching out to show the disguised dragon bouncing on her tongue like on a springboard. “Everypony knows that a draconequus’ best features are their smarts and their chaos magic and their sense of humor that they use to play pranks on prissy purple pony princesses.”
“Is that so, Princess~?” Discord snickered and preened exaggeratedly, twirling a rubber chicken. “Why, I didn’t think that you cared so much~”
“I, you, that’s…” Twilight stammered and blushed, shaking her head before pouting and blushing even more. “Y-yes, well, it’s not that I could have missed it with how often you try to play tricks on me and my friends. That doesn’t mean that I approve, just that I can objectively recognize your skill on its own merits, cuckoo!” “And that I’m totally jealous of your handsome looks and your silly pranks~!”
“Is that so, my dear? And you truly mean that~?” Discord batted his eyelashes at him.
Twilight stumbled back and blinked, blushing deep red. “I, uhm… o-of course it is!” She huffed and tried to glare at him with mixed success. “I-I’m hardly going to say something I don’t mean, am I, cuckoo!” “It’s just so much easier to listen to what I say instead of what I think~!” She stumbled back again, shaking her head. “B-besides, that still doesn’t mean that I like you, cuckoo!” “Only that I want to be just like you except in a way that makes me look just as silly as I’m going to make my friends look~!”
“I say, Twilight, we should talk like this more often.” Discord chuckled and slipped closer to her, throwing an arm over her shoulder to pull her close. “Really, this conversation is enlightening, dear. It’s like I’m learning something new every time you open your mouth.” He snickered before pulling out a measuring tape and wrapping it around Twilight’s rump, making her squeak and stumble forward. “And I’m in such a generous holiday mood, I might even help you look a little more like me, if you’re completely sure that that’s what you want~”
Twilight jumped away from him and his tape, glaring at him again. “Of course I am! I wouldn’t say anything that I don’t mean, so obviously I mean everything I say. But that doesn’t mean I’m just going to let you do something that sounds like another one of your really amazing pranks that you’d play on a prissy purple pony princess like me.” She blinked, looking confused for a moment before shaking her head. “A-anyway, don’t think you can trick me. I know better than to just accept the ‘help’ you offer no questions asked, cuckoo!” “I’m only going to accept your help no questions asked if you promise to show everyone what a silly prissypamps princess I am.”
“Oh well, if you insist then I suppose there’s no sense arguing.” Discord sighed dramatically before holding out a paw. “I solemnly promise that once I’m done, nopony will be able to ignore how prissy your pamps are.”
“T-that’s, uhm… good? I-I mean, good, yes.” Twilight blushed and rubbed her head before shaking his paw. “See how much easier it can be to get along if you learn to compromise with ponies?”
“You’re absolutely right, Twilight. I certainly learned a lesson about harmony and friendship and all that stuff today.” Discord smiled and flexed his paws, his tail looping around Twilight to push her across the crystal floor. “So if you wouldn’t mind standing right there for a moment?”
“Oh, uhm, okay? So how exactly are you going to- eep!” Twilight jumped when Discord snapped his fingers and caused a cloud of pink powder to erupt from behind her. She coughed and waved it away to find her flanks snugly covered in large pink padding with frills. “Wait, is that a- gah!” She jumped again when another snap had her full body covered in white smoke for a short moment that dispersed to reveal a mirror showing her new outfit. She was wearing a thick full-body plushsuit that looked like Discord, with an extra big butt visibly padded out by the diaper still underneath, and the only part of her visible being her face that was poking out of the Discord head’s mouth, her horn hidden inside the suits oversized plush snoot. Before she could properly react to that Discord snapped his fingers a third time, another diaper appearing taped around her already oversized padded rump. Out of morbid curiosity she waddled on her large clumsy plush paws to turn around, blushing at the sparkly purple print on the back of the pink diaper that spelled out [DRACONEQUUS IN POTTY TRAINING].
“Well? Do you like it? Go on now, no need to be shy, I think it’s one of my greatest works yet~” Discord grinned and floated closer, poking at Twilight’s new outfit while wearing an artist’s hat and a paintbrush behind one ear.
Twilight blushed and squirmed nervously, trying not to look at the embarrassing sight in the mirror. “I, uhm… it’s… I mean, this is, cuckoo!” “This is the absolute bestest outfit I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to show it off to everypony and prank all my friends and get embarrassed at what a silly prissy princesspamps plushbutt I am. I’m sooooo grateful~!”
The tiny dragon that was now dressed in a purple pony plushsuit dressed in a draconequus plushsuit snapped back, his now four-layered oversized crinklebutt making her head feel all stuffed up and dizzy as she shook it to try and remember what she was doing. Oh right, she should thank Discord for his help.
She grabbed the Draconequus with her magic and gave him a big ol’ smooch, their lips stretching before loudly popping apart again in a way that made her giggle at how silly it was. “W-what was that?”
“Why you’re a draconequus now, dear.” Discord grinned, grabbing her head and lifting her up by it, her legs dangling and her neck stretching out until all four plush paws were touching the floor again. “See? There’s more than enough chaos magic in this suit to teach you the basics of being a silly pranking dorkonequus.”
Twilight giggled again, flailing her forelegs at him until he let her head snap back, making her feel even dizzier and gigglier. “Golly, you’re so smart. So what’s the first lesson, then?”
“Simple, my dear. Pranking one of your friends, of course.” He held up an empty gift box about the size of one of her plush paws. “Now if you wouldn’t mind squeezing yourself into this, I’ll be telling you what to do and taking care of the rest.”
