Draconic Rebirth

So the average human baby develops their vocal cords at around 10 weeks into development. Now because reptiles back on Earth don’t have the ability to speak with humans I have no idea at what point I would have developed such things. With that being said I can only assume that I must have gone through similar development while being in my egg. Now, theoretically a baby should be able to speak from the moment they are born, but because they have to go through a learning process this theory can only ever be a theory, until now.

This brings me to thinking about what other things that I can possibly do; like how fast can I begin walking, can I skip diapers and just use a toilet or does my small bladder still limit me? Do I have to go to school again? God I hope not, I just got out of that place a few years ago and I don’t ever want to go back. Hmm, can I speedrun childhood? Well, maybe not entirely, like my voice for instance. I can try to speak and act like I normally do, but the fact of the matter is, I am baby. My voice is baby. No matter what I do, I will sound like a baby. Not to mention the fact that I have no teeth.

“Di-did that baby just talk?” the white and light purple lady said with uncertainty in her voice.

Oh right, there are other people still in the room.

Celestia blinked back a bit and tried to regain her usual composure. “Perhaps the magic surge gave Spike here the, uh, ability to speak at an earlier age?”

Now I could sit back and feign innocence. Maybe play it off with a few googoo gaagaas. Go on an epic story where I try to find out on my own how I got to this place. Spike by day, human by night. Trying to hide who I truly am for years until I am inevitably caught. Then I can relieve my dark and tragic backstory and finally be understood as the victim I truly am. Or I could just-

“Nah, that ain’t it chief. The only thing that magic helped me do is break out of that stupid shell. Actually, speaking of breaking out of shells.” I then grabbed the table, and with all my little might slammed my head into it. With a small snap the egg tooth falls off. “Ah there we go, now where was I?” I lightly shifted the broken egg tooth away from me. “And let’s say for a moment that is what happened. And in a case like that, you would most likely just copy your memories onto mine. Which, oh god, imagine the existential crisis that would be.”

Shining then points to his own nose. “Um, little buddy, I think you're bleeding a bit there.”

“Oh this?” I gesture to my nose. “This is nothing. Have you ever been stabbed to death though? I have. And let me tell you, it’s not fun. If I had to put it on a scale of how fun being stabbed is. I’d give it-” I then scratch my chin as I think. “A three. So not a whole lot of fun. Being stuck in a state between life and death for months on end in an egg however. Now that makes the concept of getting stabbed not nearly as bad anymore. Hell I’d rather get stabbed to death ten more times than have to go through that bullshit again.”

During my tirade I failed to notice that the family had begun to huddle around each other and watch me in fear. The princess still in her seat, watching me with a look of confused terror. All of them unable to comprehend my mad man’s rant, all of them too afraid to leave the safety of their family’s grasp. All except for one purple child, brimming with curiosity, and a notebook in her hands.

“Spike? Why would anyone want to stab you?”

I then look towards my right side and down at the child from atop my highchair. “Um, well I think they wanted my money.” I then let out a chuckle. “But the funny part is I didn’t even have my wallet on me that day.” I then continue to let out a few laughs. “Oh man, if they were smart they would have just kept me alive and sold my organs on the black mar-” Celestia then interjected herself into the conversation.

“Enough!” She then points an accusatory finger at me. Although the look in her eyes tells me that she’s afraid of me more than anything else. “You will tell me who you are, why you are here, and what your intentions are!” The purple child then seems to float away and be dragged behind the princess.

“Why am I here?” I raise an eyebrow at this. At least I think I have eyebrows. “I don’t know man. One moment I’m on my way to work, then I get stabbed and bleed to death. Next thing I know I’m inside an egg unable to move. Now I’m here.” I jester a finger pointing down. “Intentions? I mean I have been ranting for the last five minutes now. I guess I could use a drink. Besides that, I don’t really have anything better to do, so.” I just shrug my shoulders and rest my head on my right knuckle.

Celestia seems to calm down with this explanation, a look of sadness replacing her previous expression. She drops her battle stance and starts leaning down to meet me at eye level. She then pulls me into a tight embrace close to her chest. If memory serves me right I don’t think I’ve ever been in a hug like this, or a hug period in the past few years.

“Um, what are you doing?” My muffled voice cries.

“I’m giving you a hug.”

“Ok, but why? I was expecting something more along the lines of you punting me. I mean just look at me, I’m perfect punting size right now. Just imagine how far you could send me flying with those damn sexy legs of yours.” I say as a jester to my small form.

Celestia gasps in shock at the suggestion. “You just said you murdered on you daily commute and the first reaction you thought I would have was to ‘punt’ you with all my might? Why would I do such a thing?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Humans tend to do worse things with less motive.”

“A hooman? What is that?”

“Ok well first it’s human. Got to extend the u sound. huuuuman.”

“Huuuuman.”

“Yes, just like that. Now humans, hmm. Do you know what a monkey is, or an ape?” She nods yes. “Ok then, now imagine that, but with no tail and only fur on their heads. Also a shorter color pallet, ranging from blackish brown to whitish tan. There’s also reddish brown in there too but I’m not really all that versed in just how many skin colors there are.”

Celestia looks like she’s scanning her mind over the years of her life to try and find something that fits that description. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a species like that before. Are you sure you weren’t always a dragon?”

“Yeah I’d be pretty sure that I’m not a- a what now?”

“A dragon. Here look.”

A mirror then seems to appear out of nowhere, and with it my new reflection. As a stare upon my new form I judge what I have now become. A mainly purple lizard with few bits of green running down my back and a lighter shade of green going down my stomach. Hey, at least my eyes stayed green, at least some things stayed the same. As I finish scanning myself I then look toward Celestia who seems to have a patient smile on her face. The family that used to be afraid of me now having moved closer to me with looks of pity on their face. I finally point a finger at the mirror and say.

“Are you telling me this chubby purple gecko is a dragon?”

Perhaps it was the way I said it, or maybe it was the fact that it was so out of left field that made them burst out laughing instantly. Celestia held back for a few seconds before she started laughing so hard she started crying. Soon everyone else in the room joined her in her merriment, even the guards. I was expecting the best case scenario to be me becoming a class pet, and yet I am still disappointed. When Celestia finally came down from her laughing fit she spoke to me through light chuckles.

“Yes you are indeed a dragon. What category of dragon,we are unsure, but a dragon nonetheless.” She then picks me up and places me back in my highchair. “Now, I’m sure there are many more questions to be had but first I think lunch is an order.” As soon as she said that, a waiter came up to her right and took her order along with the others at the table. While they did that I used one of my hands to push under my jaw while the other hand was in my jaw as I mashed away at it.

“What are you doing?” asked that other unicorn with wings.

“Testing my jaw strength. So far it’s weak as shit.” I take my hand out of my jaw. “Yeah, I’m probably going to be eating light foods for months.” I give out a dejected sigh as I lean on my right arm.

“Now Spike.” Celestia says to me as she finishes talking to the waiter. “I don’t know how your culture works, but here it is considered rather impolite to use such language around children.”

“I would say the same but I once saw a mother yell and swear at her 2 year old child while I was sweeping. Something about calling her spoiled. I don’t really know how a 2 year old can act spoiled but hey I ain’t a parent. And at least you can have a finger to point and blame when they start cursing too. No having a he said she said case.”

“Well-” I stop her before she can start because I already know where this is going.

“But yes I can certainly try to refrain from such-” I then put on my best posh accent. “Ghastly language from being spread around to young ears.”

This gets a lite chuckle from her and she nods her head in agreement. This is when Shining speaks back up again.

“Um, pardon me, but you never told us who you were before.”

“Hu, oh yeah. I was a nobody. A nobody born in a nobody place doing nothing special leading me to be just one nobody in a sea of nobodys. A name that means nothing to anyone who hears it. I was born a nobody, died a nobody. You there giving me a name is the most somebody I’ve ever been.” I say as I point to Twilight, who can’t seem to tell if that was a compliment or not.

Yeah my family probably moved on without me. Oh shit my internet history. Um, maybe they just sold off my stuff and didn’t look through? No, they would have probably looked through my phone for family photos or something. Just to find a whole lot of porn. Weird porn by their Christian standards too. You know, I wasn’t thinking about finding a way home before, but now I’m definitely never searching for one. Might even destroy one if it pops up.

While going through my mental shame of what my family no doubtably had to look through goes through my head I begin to take notice of the rather shocked and saddened faces looking at me around the room.

“What?” The white and purple mother figure is the first to respond.

“Why do you talk about yourself like that? You aren’t a nobody, not to us you aren’t.”

I give a dry chuckle. “Heh, it’s a little thing called depression. Never goes away and is always there to bring me down. Oh great! I got a new body but I kept all my mental disorders that’s just-” I look at Twilight, and I hold back. “Great.” They look at me with a bit more confusion.

The pink unicorn with wings speaks again. You know now that I think about it, she and the guy she’s sitting next to sound kinda young, maybe even high schooler young. It’s been awhile since I was there so what grade is hard to tell, hell even in school it was hard to tell.

“What’s a mental disorder?”

I freeze both mentally and physically at this statement.

Perhaps they just called it something different here, that would make sense. A completely different universe wouldn’t abide by the same rules as the ones I know.

“Oh, well it’s this thing that affects the way they act, usually in a bad way. Sometimes it starts at birth and other times it can be a sudden thing brought upon by a traumatic event such as the death of a family or a being faced with times of war. That’s just a couple of examples on how it can be caused. Some mental illnesses make it so you see things that aren’t there, make it so when you see things it triggers you into a state of shock, or in some cases make it so your mood changes drastically, sometimes at random.”

As I finish my brief explanation of a massive topic that could take decades to fully explain I look around to a room that looks at me with a slight hint of paying attention but mostly just nodding along. The pink one speaks again.

“Well I don’t think Equestria has such things, at least not that I’ve heard of.” I raise an eyebrow at this.

“What do you mean you don’t have such things. I just watched Twilight rearrange her notebooks 5 times within the past 30 minutes. And everytime she keeps rewriting an entire sentences everytime she doesn’t correctly form an S. That alone just screams OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.”

The mother just laughs at this. “She has a ‘problem’ of being too organized or seeking perfection? Doesn’t sound like a problem to me. If anything I wish my son over there would have some of the ‘OCD’ so that maybe he’d actually have a clean room for once.” Her son Shining then blushes a bit at this while the girl besides him giggles. Wait, blushes through his fur? Are they part chameleon or something, making it so their fur changes based on their mood? No! I need to stay focused, ADHD don’t screw me now!

“Well to you it may seem like-” But before I could finish my sentence the waiters came in with food. Celestia spoke up upon seeing it arrive.

“Well Spike we’ll have to talk about this later, it is truly fascinating, but first I think we would all like to eat.” I sighed internally as the food came in front of everyone at the table.

“Well, I guess there’s no point trying to reason with hungry people. Hunger, despite what many think, hunger doesn’t grow over time. It comes in waves, hitting you at certain times of the day when your brain has gotten used to a schedule of eating on time.”
“Ponies.” Celestia coyly replies. I was going to reply to her about how that doesn’t make sense and then I remembered, different dimension, different rules. I look down at the bowl of applesauce, a bib was put on me, when? I look around and notice my broken tooth egg remains are gone. Perhaps one of the maids in cheesy French maid outfits already cleaned it up? I suppose it doesn’t matter.

This is some damn good applesauce.

After the meal the family said their thanks and left to go home. Turns out that pink unicorn with wings is called Cadance and is Twilight’s babysitter. Now that they’re gone my worry grows again, where do I go now? Celestia, whether she was reading my mind or not, began to answer that for me.

“Now Spike, I’m sure all this excitement has been very tiring for you. Allow me to show you where you will be sleeping from now on.”

A cold sweat runs down my body, welp what’s it going to be? A cage, a dog bed, or maybe a bit of both? As she picks me up in a field of, something.

“How did you pick me up without moving?”

“Magic, did where you come from not have magic?”

“Well by some standard magic is just science you don’t understand yet. So if we did have magic we never treated it as such.”

“Interesting, well after you take a short nap I’d love to hear more about where you came from.” It takes a few minutes, but we eventually worm our way through hallways of seemingly same looking doors to one door in particular. A maze of boring looking halls, a design made on purpose to stop any rioters that entered the castle to be able to tell where they were going. “We’re here. Sorry about the sparse nature of the room. We weren't entirely expecting any new guests today.”

I look around the room expecting a small hole in the wall with a dog cage in it, but to my surprise it is anything but that. It is a massive room that would rival half the size of my parents house, at least if we are only counting the first floor.

“Oh, is the room not to your liking? We can have it redecorated later if you want.”
“No, no. It’s not that. It’s just so big. And nice, too nice. I was expecting to just be put on a dog bed or something. Not-” I jester to the room. “This.”

“A dog bed? I would never put another sentient creature in something so degrading.”

We stood there in silence for a solid 30 seconds before I broke it.

“You feel a cold chill just run up your spine or is it just me?”

“I felt it too. Maybe somepony left a window open or something?” We both shrug as she places me on the sea of bed and steps back a little. “Well I have other stuff to attend to right now. If you need anything just ask one of the maids and they will be sure to get you anything you need. But for now please enjoy a rest. Goodbye Spike.” She then turns to leave for the door.

“Goodbyes are for the dead. I’ll see you later.”

Celestia gives me a smile as she turns to leave. “We’re going to have a lot of interesting times together Spike. See you later.” She closes the door.

Ok, review. No knowledge of mental illnesses, no apparent signs of any use of electricity, and the many handmade wooden carvings tell me that I’m living in a medieval time period for sure. No, no ,no. That simply won’t do. I’ve lived my whole life with the luxury of having technology and my fingertips, and I won’t let a change of scenery change that for me. At the very least it appears that they have working toilets and a good idea of being clean, from what I’ve seen at least. So that means I don’t have to deal with that.

I stand up on the bed and check my surroundings. The bed is a solid 2 feet drop. I’ll have to be careful with that. I’ll also have to find a way to climb back up onto the bed. I scan the room and find a nearby chair. Convenient things are convenient. I journey down and start searching around the room for even just a little bit of material. A little bit of what kind of material? The building block of the modern era of course!

Metal.