Chapters Chapter 1: First Contact in The Cage
For years I knew of a phenomena that occurred on this planet. I am among one of the few who helped those in need and, in turn, survived the aftermath. That does not, however, excuse me from what I did. There were always sightings of them, but nobody believed them, those that did were just called crazy and let wear their tinfoil hats. And they’re smart to wear their hats, because we did track down aliens, and we did capture them, and we did learn from them. Too bad we learned too late.
My part in this wasn’t very interesting, I wasn’t important, so this isn’t my story. This is the story of the events that led to the destruction of the most powerful nation on the face of the planet. It began in the facility known as Area 69. Yea, real funny. But while you sit there and laugh at that, just remember how many lives were lost because of that base. “How many” you ask? All of them.
Area 69 was originally intended as a subterranean atomic testing ground, they blew up underground bombs. Massive portions of the base were destroyed on a regular basis. Keep in mind that that was back during the big commie scare from ‘57 to ‘67. We thought the Russians were about to launch missiles at us. We were told that every day, so what did we do? We said “So if they drop bombs from the sky, we’ll just blow up the crust of the whole planet!” Because that’s a good idea.
Basically, after we couldn’t make those kinds of weapons anymore, there was no need for such a big place that was so open and spacious. It was empty for twenty years, until we found one. The first real live alien. I remember the date, how could I forget? September first, 1997.
Like I said, we’ve seen them before, at least we’ve had reports. Four legs, big head, big eyes, always with some sort of bruises or cuts on them. The first was spotted by a Jewish man at the Buchenwald concentration camp in early April of 1945. Second was some time in the early fifties, this time right in the middle of an American town. Some little place in Georgia, found dead. Locals probably saw it and beat the hell outa the poor thing. Then they started getting more common. Every five years since 1960 they’ve been found like clockwork. All four legged, all different colors, each had a different mark on the back legs, and all dead.
The alien was still alive this time, and in good condition for coming from another planet and all. It was purple, big eyes, four legs. Like the rest but with a different color. We hadn’t been able to figure out anything about them other than their bone structure, and that they were very similar to us as far as general biology went. Breath the same air, same blood, eat almost the same food with the strange exception of meat. They were herbivores, but that didn't mean they weren’t hostile.
By the time we’d brought the thing into the base, it was already in a sort of straight jacket and locked up inside a stainless steel containment box with holes drilled into the side. There was a door on the front that would fall to the floor, but only after unlocking six combination locks, each with it’s own special combo. It had also been given a sedative to keep it sleeping. They took it to the center of the base, over five hundred feet under the surface of the Earth. There was a room there that functioned as a maximum security cell, meant to hold a single ‘subject’. Electrified barbed wire on the inside, not enough to kill but enough to harm, an army of guards with rifles at the ready at all times, and a special room elsewhere in the base, that with the press of a button, would ignite the entire room in under a tenth of a second.
They set the box in the cell and unlocked the box, the soldiers outside were careful to keep a steady aim at the alien in case it was just waiting for an opportunity. Inside the hundred square foot cell was a single scientist and two United States Marines, gripping their M-16’s in anticipation. The scientist, one Doctor Gottschalk held a digital camera in one hand and a syringe in the other.
Gottschalk was an American born to German parents, which would have been fine if he hadn’t been born in 1943. Gottschalk was a genius, and he knew it as well as everyone on the base, and he wasn't modest about it. He quickly spun the dials on the locks and let the door fall to the ground with a heavy, metallic ‘clank’, eager to see the new toy his little soldier boys had brought him. He was still under strict orders, but he was almost sure that what he was seeing would be on an autopsy table within the next hour. He ordered one of the marines to drag the specimen into the center of the cell, the box being at the entrance.
After setting the purple creature into the center of the room, the marines closed the door behind them and kept their sights on the alien as Gottschalk examined it. He, with a glove on of course, felt the creature's body to try and determine more about it. He found that the purple color was given by fur, like the coat of a dog. He opened the eyelids and snapped a picture of its eye for later research. He took pictures of the distinct marking on its hind leg. A sort of magenta star by the look of it. It had a horn that protruded from its forehead. After being satisfied with the pictures of it, he slid the camera into his lab coat and readied the syringe of clear liquid. He made sure there was no blockage, squeezing a bit of it into the air, and injected the serum into the creatures leg.
More marines entered the room affectionately called ‘The Cage’ as the creature began to move around in its jacket. The marines began to get anxious, but the doctor was more excited than anxious. He was about to see a real alien in action. Forty-four years of dedicated study of supposed aliens, thirty-four years in this base and he was finally going to see a real alien. It probably wouldn’t do anything they could understand, it probably communicated in some non-verbal way. On the other hand, there was no way it could have been some alien animal, showing features of a soldier, such as a rank marking. Gottschalk was beginning to rethink the autopsy table, but stepped back a bit to give the marines a better shot.
The creature wiggled in it’s bindings, then opened its eyes. Its eyes opened wide as baseballs, then shrunk to the size of pinpricks. Its eyes and head moved around erratically, trying to take in its new surroundings. It calmed itself a bit after finding that no one was necessarily causing it harm. It sat, hind legs on the ground, and forelegs in the air, held together by the white multi-belted jacket. It’s head had been left uncovered in case it could communicate.
The Doctor stood, waiting for it to make the first move. The marines kept their arms trained on it. Doctor Gottschalk finally broke the deadly silence.
“Hello. Welcome to The Cage friend.” He said, not really expecting it to reply.
“W...w-where am I?”
The Doctor, along with the marines, was shocked. They couldn’t have expected it to speak in the same way they did, and especially couldn’t have expected it to speak English. Everyone in The Cage, with the exception of the purple alien was speechless.
“Where am I?!”
CLASSIFICATION LEVEL: OMICRON
Report on alien #1 of Area 69 by Dr. Steve Gottschalk.
Note: only major events will be recorded in word, anything else is deemed irrelative.
Name: Twilight Sparkle
Height: 4’ 11”
Gender: F
Species: Unknown Unicorn
Planet of Origin: Equestria
Galaxy of Origin: Unknown
September 1st, 1997
Current subject physical well-being: Healthy
Current subject emotional state: Unhappy, confused
Subject refers to self as ‘Twilight Sparkle’ or ‘Twilight’. The mark on the creatures back legs are confirmed to show some form of duty or occupation. Mark has been called a ‘cutie mark’ by subject. I will continue to interview the subject tomorrow, but I doubt I will be able to sleep.
September 2nd, 1997
Current subject physical well-being: Healthy
Current subject emotional state: Unhappy, confused
Subject keeps talking about ‘Celestia’ and refers to Celestia as a princess. Extraterrestrial religion confirmed. Religion likely based around home planets local star. Subject is literate, with a vast vocabulary and knowledge. Subject claims to have magic spells, likely religious reason for calling it ‘magic’. Leaving Cage, will return at 1:30 PM.
Subject shows no hostility, but understandable levels of confusion as to her own whereabouts. Constraint jacket has been removed. Subject continues to use the word ‘anypony’ as opposed to ‘anybody’. Subject claims to be a pony, more specifically a unicorn. Subject claims knowledge of pegasus ponies and ‘earth ponies’. Earth ponies would appear to be members of her species with neither wings nor horns, as opposed to ponies of this planet. Confusing, but interesting.
2:07 PM Pacific Standard Time, Subject #1 of Area 69, Twilight Sparkle, has been confirmed to possess psychokinesis, the ability to create kinetic energy with the mind. Subject may have just broken the law of conservation of energy. More research required for confirmation of defiance of laws of science.
September 7th, 1997
Current subject physical well-being: Minor injuries
Current subject emotional state: Angry
Subject attempted to escape The Cage by running through the barbed wire. The wire began to glow with a purple aura, likely form subjects psychokinesis, then began to bend. The wire held and the subject is currently receiving medical treatment for minor burns and lacerations. Subject is expected to calm down within the next few days. Jacket removal may need to be redacted.
October 6th, 1997
Current subject physical well-being: Healthy
Current subject emotional state: Unhappy
Subject has grown hesitant to divulge information regarding anything about present Equestria. Equestrian religion, however, she seems very eager to talk about. A new princes has been named , one ‘Princess Luna’. Princess Luna supposedly raises the moon, while her older sister Celestia raises the sun, hence Celestia and Luna.‘Nightmare Moon’ is another name that has come up. Nightmare Moon would seem to be the main demon, or incarnation of evil, of their religion. A fierce being that attempted to kill the princesses, but was defeated by ‘The Elements’. SHe has not yet told me what 'The Elements' are.
I find it unusual that the subject has not questioned our weaponry. My only guess is that she finds them inferior to her own, and unable to cause her harm, or she knows nothing of warfare. I suspect the former, the latter is absurd.
In late May of 1998 another scientist was brought into Area 69. His name was Heinrich Barth, a german born scientist a few years older than Gottschalk. Unlike Gottschalk, who was an american, Barth had grown up in Berlin, and had a thick accent. Barth had become an american citizen in hopes of working on the more interesting experiments and research he’d heard of. It was all rumors and speculation, Area 51 and Roswell and whatnot, but he eventually made a name for himself in the United States and was quickly signed onto the project without his knowing. Again, his whole story is not mine to tell. I probably should tell you one thing though. By ‘made a name for himself’, I mean that he was shunned from the scientific community for his crackpot theories on alien life.
The wrinkle-faced german with the grey beard hopped out of the dark olive green transport truck. In his mind, Gottschalk likened him to ZZ Top, the beard and all. Barth stared at the retreating truck of uniformed and armed marines for a moment. He’d been blindfolded the whole time and told what was happening to him only about a minute ago. Gottschalk kindly greeted his new friend and led him to the elevator. They had a long ride for him to explain all he knew.
“Hello Barth.”
“Hello Gottschalk. So this is Area 69?” ‘Area 69’ and Gottschalks name were the only things he’d been told on the truck ride over.
An intellectual meeting of minds, it was not. Not surprising, considering all they’d been told about each other was their names.
“Yes, well, the elevator. The real Area 69 is about five hundred feet that way. ” Gottschalk said, pointing to the floor of the elevator.
“I appreciate the joke Herr Gottschalk, but I do not like not being told what I’m here for.”
“Mister Barth, this is an omicron level facility. Nobody with prior knowledge of this base gets here outside of a body bag.”
“Omicron? So it’s true. Americans do have a secret classification system.”
“Apparently not that secret if a germa-I’m sorry, a formerly german, scientist knows about it. But yes, with top secret facilities, and anything else we like to keep out of the public eye, we use the greek alphabet to categorize.”
“Well, just how classified is omicron?”
“There are twenty-four letters of the greek alphabet. Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Epsilon, Zeta, Eta, Theta, Iota, Kappa, Lambda, Mu, Nu, Xi, and Omicron are the first fifteen. The president can only access up to level Delta, and that’s in a time of war.”
“So your Commander in Chief has no idea of our work then?”
“If he ever even found out Area 69 existed, he’d be assassinated.”
Barth laughed a bit. “That’s funny.”
“Too bad it wasn’t a joke.” There was a slight ‘ding’ as the elevator reached The Cage. “Ah, here we are. The Cage. Prepare yourself Barth.”
The doors slid open, revealing the aptly named Cage. The entire room was the most clean, sterile white imaginable, not a speck of dust in the perfectly square room. Inside the center was a one-hundred square foot cell made of barbed wire that stretched all the way to the high ceiling. There were copper wires running through the iron barbs.
“Don’t touch the actual cell by the way, it hurts like a bitch.” Barth was speechless at the layout of the room. He saw a small purple thing sitting in the center of the room, but he couldn’t see what it was. “You like it? We got the general idea from the first place there kind was spotted and recorded. Auschwitz-Birkenau.” Barth shuddered at the mention of that place.
“Doctor Gottschalk, what is that?”
“Please don’t call her an ‘it’. She doesn’t like that.”
At the door to The Cage, Gottschalk pulled a ring of numbered keys out of his white lab coat. There were six padlocks on the outside, which he quickly and systematically unlocked, like he done it every day for months before.
“Twilight, we’re coming in. Please step back a bit.” The purple creature rose and slowly took a few steps backwards. The two entered, Gottschalk closed the door behind them. “Hello Twilight, doing well today?”
“As well as any other day Doctor.” Twilight answered in a monotonous, depressed tone.
“Well I’m sorry you’re unhappy Twilight, but we’ve brought another scientist aboard the team, so I thought you two’d like to meet.”
Twilight, still not without a hint of depression, extended her hoof to shake then new mans hand. “Hello. I’m Twilight Sparkle.”
Barth, hesitantly, shook the pony's’ hoof and introduced himself. ”H-hello there. I’m Doctor Heinrich Barth. Where are you from?”
“Equestria.”
“Is that a galaxy? A planet? A solar syste-”
“She doesn't know, Barth.”
The purple creature turned away, and made some sort of unnatural, quiet whimpering sounds. Barth was a bit concerned. “Is she...crying?” He whispered to Gottschalk.
“She hasn’t seen another one of her kind since before September. Of course she is.” He replied. He looked back to Twilight, got on his knee and put his hand on her shoulder. “Twilight, we’ll find somepony else for you to talk to, I promise. There's been a few sightings recently, so we may be in luck.” He had adopted some of her language, but only when talking to her and only when talking about members of her species. “Would you feel better if I played your favorite song?”
“Sure, I suppose.”
Gottschalk stood up, pulled out a small remote, pointed it to the ceiling and pressed a small button. “She likes The Ink Spots.” He said to Barth. “‘We Three’ is her favorite.”
Barth was utterly astounded by the aliens ability to speak english and show human-like qualities of emotion and thought. In fact, she spoke better english than he did. Twilight smiled at swayed her head a bit with the music that was now playing through the intercom system.
‘Oh my goodness, it’s acting just like a human.’ He thought. Barth then noticed he was being spoken to. “Oh, I’m sorry, what was that Gottschalk?”
“It’s alright, I was just saying how glad I am that you’re here today of all days.”
“Is today important?” Twilight asked.
Gottschalk smiled. “Very. Today, friend, is the day you get out of The Cage.”
Barth was struck by the statement. “Are you sure that’s wise?”
“Barth, I’ve never been more sure of anything. Twilight has shown no signs of hostility towards humans since she’s been here. I can assure you that she’s no threat. She’s nicer than some of the marines around here.”
“You’re letting me out!”
“Yes and no. We can’t let you out of the facility, but you don't need to be kept in containment anymore. We have a room for you, fully furnished.”
“A real bed?!”
“Bed, bathroom, everything. And we’ll get you much better food from now on. I’m sure you’re tired of hay.”
Barth grabbed Gottschalk by the shoulder and talked to him while Twilight happily jumped around. “Doctor, are you absolutely sure you know what you’re doing?! Your letting an alien out of containment! An alien!”
“She may be an alien, but she’s kind, she’s patient, and she doesn’t deserve to be kept here.”
“She needs to be kept isolated!”
“Alright. Fine, if you really think she needs to stay in the cage, you tell her. You go over there and tell that purple prancing pony that she’s a dangerous alien that needs to be kept in a miniature concentration camp.” There was a long silence. Barth sighed and let go of his shoulder. “That’s what I thought.” Gottschalk tossed him a key from his pocket. “Your room’s three floors up, get some sleep.”
Twilight was overly happy to have a new room. Maybe overly happy isn’t the correct phrase there, considering I’ve never been locked in a barbed-wire cage for months without seeing any members of my own species. So, I suppose she was fairly excited about her new room.
The room had circular lights embedded into the ceiling, and a queen sized bed, and an attached bathroom. The walls were covered in custom white wallpaper that bore the sign of her cutie mark. Doctor Gottschalk had obviously wanted to get her out of The Cage earlier, but couldn't until the room was complete.
The bed wasn’t stuffed with anything, or even colored in any way. It looked like a big white brick. She crawled up onto the bed and lied on her stomach, the only way she’d been able to lay for the past few months. The bed was softer and more comforting than anything she’d felt in her entire life.
Twilight closed her eyes. “This almost makes up for abducting me.”
“Would a milkshake help?” Gottschalk said as he stood in the doorway. Twilight jumped as the Doctor laughed a bit. “Sorry Twilight, just thought I’d see how you liked the place. And I...I also realized that I...I never formally apologized to you for all that’s happened.” Gottschalk sat down next to Twilight for a moment. “I’m sorry Twilight, I really am. I can’t imagine how much you must miss your friends and family, but I know it must be hard. I swear, we’ll find others and bring them here, we’ll protect them. No experiments without consent, no dangerous experiments, nothing of the sort.”
“Doctor, it’s okay, but could you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“Could you get me some books?”
“That’s all?”
“Yes. History books, if you could. I really like history.”
“Sure, name a century and I’ll get you all the books you can read.”
“What year is it here?”
“1998 Twilight.”
“Wow...it’s only 1004 in Equestria. But...how about this century? 1900’s.”
Gottschalk stooped for a moment and remembered all the things that had happened in the past eighty years alone. The first industrialized war, the Holocaust only a few decades later, so many wars, so much inhumanity. His own crimes still haunted him, and the presence of an intelligent non-human only made him think harder about ‘humanity’. His name had been marked off the records of projects that caused numerous innocent lives, and worse.
“No. Pick another, please.”
“Why?”
He couldn’t lie to her, but nor could he tell her the truth. Either would result in mistrust of humans, and the loss of his only living friend. He did consider her a friend, or at least as close as a scientist in one of the most secret bases in existence could get to having a friend.
“The twentieth century...hasn’t....been the best example of humanity.” His tone quickly changed. “How about the 1700’s? The age of revolution! That’s a good one! I particularly like the golden age of piracy.”
“Alright, ‘The Age of Revolution’ sounds interesting. How quickly can you have them for me?”
“If I go now I can have them shipped to the base by tomorrow morni-” He looked at the clock on the wall. It was five minutes ‘til four in the morning. “Ummm...I can have them here by afternoon today.” He said awkwardly.
Twilight chuckled a bit. “Alright Doctor, I can wait ‘til then. Good night Doctor Gottschalk.”
“If you could Twilight, please call me Steven.”
“Um, okay. Goodnight Doctor Steven.”
Close enough. He thought. That was the first time He’d heard someone say his first name in twenty years. He hadn’t had a friend in twenty years.
AUTHORS NOTE: In case you'd like to know the song I was referring to, this is it.
Youtube Video
Chapter 4: Marine Movie Night
In the winter of 1998, they finally found another one. Technically speaking, they’d found others in ‘98, but this was the first one in the year to be found alive. Three others had been found in the summer, both killed. Thing is, this wasn’t as bad as it sounded. They were killed, they didn’t show up already dead, like most.
Twilight was very relieved when Gottschalk didn't put him in The Cage. He was given the room next to hers, which was identical to hers. Barth had a few objections, but he was under Gottschalk’s command, his word was law in Area 69.
Unlike Twilight, he wasn't brought into the base in containment, only concealment from the public. He was still a bit injured, but only a few scrapes and bruises, no worse than Twilight when she first entered.
This one wore clothes, something that hadn't occurred to the scientists before. His coat was a sort of teal color, his hair and tail were black, just like his colored shirt that stretched only to about half way down his back. He also wore a white tie and some sunglasses. A first, Barth thought they were some sort of military technology, a form of visual communication. Paranoid bastard snatched them right off his face and started inspecting them before he even introduced himself.
Gottschalk and the new ‘subject’ walked down one of the many hallways that made up the living quarters that had been built to house scientists in the fifties, which would now serve as their homes.
“So...w-what are you gonna do to me?” The alien asked. He was a bit frightened, and who wouldn't be. Some tall thing in a white coat takes you to some underground base, how could you not be at least a little scared?
“Well it’s late now, but tomorrow we’ll probably take you into the kitchen and start the stew.” Gottschalk said in a serious tone. The new subject’s eyes shrunk to pinpricks as his sunglasses fell off his face. Gottschalk laughed a bit. “I-I’m sorry, but that... that was just too easy. I’m very sorry, but I had to. We’ll ask you some questions tomorrow morning, get to know Twilight and get some rest.”
“Twilight?”
“Twilight Sparkle, she was the first one to be brought here, she’ll be happy to see another one of her kind here. Ah, here we are, room number one o’ two. Twilight is in room one o’ one.”
“Who are you, by the way?”
“Sorry, where are my manners?” He stretched out his hand. “I’m doctor Steven Gottschalk. I run Area 69.”
“Neon Lights. DJ.” He shook the doctor’s hand.
“Well, have a nice night Neon. I’ll be two floors up in three fifty-five if you need anything.”
“Um... thanks.”
In his room, Barth went over the notes and documents Gottschalk had copied and given to him. The reports weren't consistent as far as time went, only ‘useful’ information was written down, which Barth considered a stupid move by Gottschalk. Any and all information on them was more valuable than all the money in the world to him. After a while, it seemed as though Gottschalk just listened to the alien, instead of recording what she told him, more like a conversation than an interview.
Gottschalk was constantly on the lookout for reports of aliens, UFO’s and anything that could possibly be more Equestrians. He eventually stopped looking for UFO reports, deeming them useless. He now only looked for legitimate sightings. Most of the time they were pranks, fakes, or just people seeing things in the forest. He almost lost hope that anyone’d be able to get to Earth from Equestria without dying, seeing Twilight as a cosmic fluke. Until he’d found Neon Lights of course.
Back a few floors down, Neon introduced himself to Twilight. Twilight was ecstatic to see another pony. She had to resist the urge to just hug him then and there, she was so excited. She hadn't seen another pony in about two years now.
“OHMYGOSHICAN’TBELIEVEANOTHERPONYISREALLYHERE!” She yelled out, all in one breath. Taking a few deep gulps of air, she finally was able to speak again.
“Woah! Calm down.” Twilight blushed a bit.
“Heh, sorry. I’ve seen nothing but humans for the past few years, and it’s really nice to see another sentient being of my own species.”
“Senta-what?”
“Another pony.”
“Oh.”
“Um, I’m Twilight.”
“Neon Lights.”
“So, how’d you get here? I don't really remember how they brought me here.” She asked.
“It was some big green thing, lots a’ those tall things in the back with me, and they all had uniforms and metal sticks, they wouldn't talk to me.”
“Oh, they’re called humans, those tall creatures. And the ones with the uniforms are called ‘Marines’. Doctor Steven says they're pretty much like our Royal Guards.”
“Steven?”
“Doctor Gottschalk.”
“Guards to keep us in or others out?”
“Both, unfortunately.”
“So we can’t leave.” Neons tone dropped, as did his head a bit.
“Well, Doctor Steven says that if we got out, we’d cause a panic.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“We’ll I know this sounds weird, but this isn't our world, we’re the aliens here.”
“Sure, and I’m the prince of Canterlot.”
“I’m serious! This planet is called Earth, and It’s probably the strangest place I’ve ever seen, or even heard of.”
“How’s that?”
“Well, I got Doctor Steven to get me some books on their history. They’re all about things that happened two hundred years ago, but some of them sound like things from the future! They’re far more advanced than us. See these lights?” She looked up.
“What about them?”
“How do you think they work?”
“Magic.” He said in a very matter-of-factly fashion.
“Wrong, electricity. Massive amounts of electricity! This whole world runs on the stuff!”
“I-um... I don't get you. Do they just conjure lightning into those tubes in the ceiling?”
“Believe it, this entire planet runs on electricity! Humans can’t do magic, Doctor Steven thought it was a fairy tale before he met me.”
“Twilight, this is... I-It’s nice to meet you and all, but I've had a long day, and I need some sleep. It’s not that I don't believe you, I...I just need to rest for a while, I’ve been really sore the past few days.”
Thinking back to the first day she was brought here, she remembered that she felt the same way. “Alright, good night Neon Lights.”
“Thanks, good night.”
Twilight herself went back to her own room and threw the sheets over herself when she hopped in bed. She fell asleep with a smile on her face, knowing there was another pony she could talk to. She enjoyed talking to Gottschalk, but it simply wasn't the same, talking to an alien.
It was around 7 o'clock the next morning when Gottschalk, knocked on Twilight’s door to wake her up.
“Twilight, it’s time to wake up.” He said gently, and Twilight groaned in annoyance, holding a pillow over her head to drone out the noise.
“Mmmph, leeme alone.” She mumbled drearily.
“Come on Twilight, time to get up.” Another grunt was her reply. “Oh c’mon Twilight, don't you want to talk to your new friend? Neon Lights, was it?”
In her tiredness, she’d forgotten the events of the day before. “Oh my goodness, I forgot!” Without another moment's notice, she shot out of bed and did a nice, perfect faceplant on the ground.
Gottschalk laughed, then helped her up. “He’s in the cafeteria, he got up about an hour ago.”
Twilight ran down the halls and towards the cafeteria. The cafeteria was the only place she ever talked to the marines, but today she had no interest in them, only in talking to Neon lights about what has gone on in Equestria since she left. She ran so fast that she actually slid next to him in an attempt to stop. She took a seat next to him and a few marines and asked a few questions.
“Morning Neon.” She greeted.
“Oh, hi umm...Twilight? It’s Twilight right?”
“Yes. Would you mind if I asked you some things?”
“Guess not, the bearded one asked me a ton of questions, but I can answer yours if you answer one of mine first.”
“Of course, what do you need answered?”
“It’s a very important question.”
“What is it?”
“Closer.” He waved her closer, she got closer. “Closer.” She got a bit closer. “Why does the food here taste like shit?” He whispered.
“Very funny.”
“No seriously, why does the food taste like this?” He asked, deathly serious.
“Because,” came a voice from behind them. “It’s good for you.” They looked up to see doctor Gottschalk.
“Well at least that’s one thing that won't change no matter where you go. Healthy food always sucks.” Neon said. The doctor chuckled.
“That it does. How are you two hitting it off?” Steven asked asked, smiling at both of them.
“Actually, I was just about to ask him some questions that you might like to hear too.” Twilight responded
“Alright then, mind if I sit?”
“It’s your base Doctor Steven.” He took a seat in front of them and listened.
“Well, when I left, the changeling queen had been defeated by my brother and Princess Cadence. But that was two years ago, what’s happened since then.”
“I... wait, wait a sec. You said that was two years ago?”
“Well, I got here two years ago, and this planet has the same numbers of days in a year, so yes, two years.”
“I think you’re confused, I was at that wedding in Canterlot, and that was only about a year and a half ago. You couldn’t have been here for two years.”
“That’s very strange, but it could be possible, I suppose.” Gottschalk said.
“How?” Twilight asked.
“Well, we know that you don't remember how you traveled here, but he may remember more.”
“Let me save you some trouble, I don't remember anything. One minute I was DJ -ing, the next moment I’m in some forest, covered in snow. I went to the closest town, they fed me, gave me a bed, then these guys came and took me.”
“Yes, you were somewhere up in Newfoundland. So you don’t remember how you traveled here?”
“I’m saying that I didn’t travel here. One second I’m in Canterlot, the next I’m in... what did you call it? Newfinland?”
“Alright, that’s very confusing, but for the sake of argument, lets say you just can’t remember the journey. How does that time difference work?”
“Maybe, some form of time displacement spell? There are time altering spells in the Canterlot Archives.” Twilight responded.
Gottschalk put his head in his hands. “You can alter TIME!?”
“I take it humans have never done that before?”
“Well, there are scientists trying, but they haven't been able to do anything significant. We’ve figured out that it’s possible to slow down time, but that’s all we’ve got, and it’s very difficult. It's only a theory, actually.”
“Well that’s a start. But, back to Neon. A time spell could explain the time difference.”
“Yea, I guess it could. Thing is, that doesn’t explain how I got here.” Neon said.
“Don’t look at me.” Gottschalk said. “I only work here.”
“But you’re a scientist, shouldn’t you know how we got here?” Twilight asked.
“Twilight, when I find out how you got here, you’ll be the first to know. If unraveling the inner workings of wormholes and time displacement doesn't kill me first.”
“Okay, so what kind of things do you do for fun here?” Asked Neon, trying to kickstart a lighter conversation.
“Well, Doctor Steven here is very good at getting things I want, like all those books.”
“Books? That’s all you get?”
“Hey, I like books. Wait, you said you were a DJ right?”
“Yea.”
“Doctor, do you think you could get Neon some turntables?” Twilight asked.
“I suppose I could. It would take longer than getting books, but I can have it arranged.”
“You’d do that for me Doc?”
“One of my many jobs is to make sure you two stay happy while you’re here.”
“So what, you’re like our personal servant?” Neon asked with a suggestive grin.
“Don’t be fooled Neon, I’m a nice guy, but I’m a scientist, not a servant.”
“Fair enough. Thanks Doctor.”
“So, what kind of records would you need?”
“Well, to scratch? Electronic is the best material.”
“So you have electronic music in Equestria?” Gottschalk asked.
“Yea, we have all kinds of music.”
“Would you mind telling me about your music?”
Doctor Gottschalk and Neon Lights started talking about the types of music in Equestria, the similarities between Equestrian music and Human music, and so on and so forth. Twilight, seeing no place for herself in their conversation, left. She was walking back to her room, to read some more when she passed by an open door. There was the sound of a bunch of people yelling.
Fearing the worst, she burst open through the doorway and was prepared to deal with whatever happened, but it was only a movie. It was playing on a large flat screen, what the humans called a T.V.
“AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES!? MARK IT ZERO!”
“They’re callin’ the cops man. Put the piece away.”
Hearing the door open, one of the two marines sitting in the room paused the movie and got up. “Um... hello miss Sparkle. Are you allowed to be here?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I heard yelling. I thought something was happening. I’ll go.”
“No, you can stay if you want, we just need to know if it’s alright with Doctor Gottschalk. We don’t want to get in any trouble.”
“Doctor Steven is fine with me wandering, the elevator is locked to these floors anyway.”
“Alright then, I guess it’s fine. Go ahead and take a seat, we were just watching this new movie. It’s The Big Lebowski.”
Twilight had never seen a movie in color, and never one that wasn’t on a big white screen. She’d also never seen a movie that wasn't a documentary, and wasn't sure how human movies worked, she assumed that all of this was real, given how convincing it was.
Twilight and the marines watched the movie, and the marines laughed away. Twilight sat quietly, snickering at some parts, but studying it for the most part. After the movie ended, Twilight found she was still interested, she considered it a learning experience. Something that, if she ever got back to Equestria, she could send her mentor letters about.
“That was great, best movie I’ve seen in months.” One of them said.
“Not as good as Austin Powers.” The other replied.
“Can’t argue with that.”
“Can we watch it?” Twilight asked.
“Sure.” He got up from his chair. “I know I got the tape somewhere here.” He said, rummaging through the shelf of tapes. He eventually found the case, and inserted the black box into the VCR.
Twilight was, again, studying a comedy movie as if it were a documentary. The movie ran for a while before Doctor Gottschalk opened the door, filling the dark room with light. The two marines cringed like vampires in the sunlight.
“Oh, hello Doctor.”
“Hello Twilight, enjoying the movie?”
The stood up and saluted their superior. What? You thought I was joking when I said he ran Area 69? Gottschalk didn’t like being saluted, thought it gave him a big head.
“At ease.” Gottschalk commanded. They put their arms down.
“Hello Doctor, Twilight came in and wanted to watch some movies, we hope you don’t mind.”
“Actually, I was looking for Twilight to see if she wanted me to get her some more books. How about the eighteenth century now?”
“Doctor, why don’t you want me to read about more recent history?”
Gottschalk realized he couldn't keep Twilight from learning about an entire era in human history, she was just too curious. “Twilight, the past few hundred years have been... violent, to say the least.”
“Doctor, I told you about what happened at my brothers wedding, I’m no stranger to violence.” She said. The marines looked curious, but didn’t ask.
“Well, I didn’t want you learning about it right away because, well... I didn’t want you to get the wrong impression about humans.”
“I understand, but I think I’m ready to learn about the twentieth century.”
“Alright, I’ll get you some books tomorrow, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. But I do think you should start with the eighteen hundreds, it's important to the first few decades of the current century.” Even in concession, he stalled her.
After Gottschalk left, the soldiers went back to their seats, and Twilight took her seat next to them. Then Clifton got an idea. “Y’know, if you want to know about the twentieth century so bad, we have a movie you might like. It came out in July.”
“Sure, what’s it called?” Twilight asked.
“Saving Private Ryan.”
CLASSIFICATION LEVEL: OMICRON
Report on aliens #1 and #2 of Area 69 by Dr. Steven GottschalkName: Twilight SparkleHeight: 4’ 11”Gender: FSpecies: UnicornPlanet of Origin: EquestriaGalaxy of Origin: UnknownName: Neon LightsHeight: 5’ 1’’Gender: MSpecies: UnicornPlanet of Origin: EquestriaGalaxy of Origin: Unknown
January 1st, 1999
Current subject physical well-being: Healthy
Current subject emotional state: Happy
Twilight, along with Barth, Neon, myself, and the Marines all watched the new years celebration on TV. Twilight was a bit confused at how the broadcast was live, and happening right that moment, but I think she let it go, at least for now. She is very curious, easy to see how she could become the personal student of her ruler. A curious mind makes for a good student.
Barth seems to shut himself in his room most of the time, strange that he wouldn't want to study the ponies directly. I suppose each scientist has his methods.
February 14th, 1999
Current subject physical well-being: Healthy
Current subject emotional state: Happy
Neon Lights was able to DJ a party for the Marines. Barth, as per usual, wanted it stopped. I told him to let them have their fun, they are locked in an underground vault after all, what harm could come of it?
I gave Twilight a Valentines day card, just a nice gesture. I was also able to learn that they have a similar holliday on Equestria, Hearts and Hooves day. Barth was very interested in that. He seems to have some theory that all sentient life in the universe have days they deem special, or days on which they celebrate special events. Seems logical enough.
March 2nd, 1999
Twilight has become strangely interested in science, astronomy to be specific. I knew she was intelligent, but she’s gone through two books on advanced astronomical theories in a little under a month. She’s not just smart, she’s a damn genius!
March 7th, 1999
Neon Lights asked for more recording equipment. I am in the company of a genius and a Techno-DJ. I suppose they can’t all be Einsteins and Teslas.
March 20th, 1999
At first, I assumed that Twilight was simply interested in astronomy for the sake of it. She’s requested I find her a map of the Milky-Way’s planets. Obviously, and understandably, she want’s to go home. Unfortunately, I was forced to disappoint her. We’ve still more research to do before we can begin to try and figure out how to send them back. It wasn't but 30 years ago we finally landed on the moon, it’s going to take a hell of a lot more to get her to another planet.