Daring Do and the Curse of the Lewdie Marks

by Runic Script

Rating: mature
Tags: Porn, Daring Do, Adventure, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 5566

Daring Do discovers why you don't take Rainbow Dash on an archeological expedition without at least one of her friends and a medium-sized group of villains as buffer.

When Daring let Rainbow Dash invite herself on what should have been a boring and uneventful archeological survey, she certainly didn't expect the mare to find and start playing around with an ancient magical artifact within ten minutes of entering the temple. The worst part is that she can't even make money off of this mishap because her book series has an ironclad PG rating. And also because she is too busy sucking off her Mistress Rainbow Dash's magical curse dick to think about things like money.

Commission for Superfun, whose commission request was the perfect opportunity for me to test out my new kink concept.

Tags: Magical futa, hypnosis, cumflation, orgasm denial, cutie mark based personality alteration and cutie mark based perception shift.

Published 2022-01-01 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-01-01 19:30:01 UTC

Daring Do and the Staff of Euphemism Symbolism

“Booooooored!” A voice echoed down the old, empty hallways of the temple, shaking loose a bit of dust. “I thought this was going to be an adventure! Where’s the monsters, the death traps, the villain trying to stop us?”

“I told you before we left that this probably wouldn’t be like in the books.” A second voice echoed through the temple, sounding long-sufferingly annoyed. “For the last time, this isn’t supposed to be an adventure, it’s just a regular archeological expedition. Mostly.”

“Oh come on, what were the odds that nothing was actually going to happen?”

“For anyone other than you and your friends? Pretty good, actually. You do realize most ponies go their whole life without a big adventure or having their own archenemy, right?”

“That sounds boring. No wonder I’m so much more awesome than most ponies. So if there’s no adventure and no death traps, why are we even here? I haven’t seen a piece of treasure anywhere in this place.”

“Not everyone builds death traps into their temple. And not everyone builds them in a way that keeps them working centuries later. Places like this one have all been cleaned out decades ago by other archeologists or just ponies trying to make a quick Bit. Anyway, someone at the museum looked through some old scrolls from this place and apparently there’s a piece missing from the records. Never even been mentioned on the black markets, either. So either it’s been gathering dust in some really private collection for decades, or it’s still here.”

“Hah! So you’re saying there actually is an adventure here? Some kind of secret treasure room with functioning death traps?”

“Either that or it just looks cheap enough that nobody who went through this place before figured it worth dragging back to Equestria. Stop knocking on the walls like that, that kind of thing doesn’t work. There’s some sort of puzzle here I think but I can’t quite figure out how it’s supposed to-”

There was a long rumble washing through the empty temple, shaking loose even more dust.

Daring Do sighed, staring at the freshly caved in wall, too clean to be a coincidence. “And there goes any hope to use this for a book. Backtracking puzzles is a pain and never works out anyway. Thanks for that, Rainbow Dash.” She paused and looked around, squinting through the dusty air. “Rainbow Dash? Oh for-”

“Found it!”

She hurried through the hole in the wall to find her assistant in a large room lit by cracks in the walls and ceiling, hovering in front of a large statue that seemed unnecessarily explicit even by the standards of Ye Olde Religious Sculptures. Definitely some deity or other judging by the size of their equipment, not to mention that said equipment was hanging between the legs of a mare.

“Wow, these old temple ponies sure had their minds in the gutter. Think it’s because this was some sort of sex cult or because this was some kind of no sex cult? You know, like those monogamy places?” Rainbow Dash snickered as she flew a bit closer to the statue.

“You mean a monastery? Also get away from that thing.”

“Yeah, that! Nono-gamy, not monogamy.” Rainbow snorted, not getting away from that thing. “What, are you worried they trapped this thing? I mean, not gonna lie, that would be pretty funny. Still, what kind of trap are they gonna hide in some statue’s dick?” She snickered again, poking the stone rod.

“You cannot possibly think this is a good idea.”

“Awww come on, lighten up. I promise I won’t tell anyone that Daring Do nearly got a book not safe for foals.” Rainbow patted the cock before pausing as it moved slightly and she noticed a glimmer. “Wait, I think I see something. Did they seriously hide their jewels in this statue’s jewels?” She started stroking the shaft, snickering as it slowly started to rise. “This is so weird. Kinda hilarious though, no wonder nobody found this thing yet.”

“I cannot find the words to express how much of an idiot you are being right now and I am an accomplished author!” Daring Do yelled up at her, pulling out her whip. “Stop touching that thing and get away from it before you get the worst eulogy of all times!”

“Come on, I almost got it. Hey, you think this was some kind of ancient hazing ritual? Or some rite of passage or something? If I finish this thing off, does that make me a spiritual leadeereereereerghle!”

Daring Do facepalmed as Rainbow was hit by a beam of light from the statue’s very obvious casting implement, flailing and twitching in the air. She considered her options for just a second before deciding to take the most direct solution, snapping her whip around Rainbow’s ankle to pull her out of the beam of light.

The other mare collapsed as soon as she was out of the magic, groaning as she lay in a heap on the floor next to Daring Do. “Did someone get the number of that cart?”

“I have no sympathy for you right now. At all. Do you feel like you’re going to die anytime soon?”

“You’re so mean.” Rainbow pouted up at her for a moment before slowly getting up from the floor with a groan, checking herself over. “I don’t actually feel that bad. A bit dizzy and kinda warm, mostly.” She paused, standing straight and slowly looking down. “...well, that’s new.”

Daring Do rubbed the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes to ignore the large and obvious bulge in Rainbow Dash’s shorts. “Congratulations, it’s an idiot.” She glanced at Dash before quickly closing her eyes again. “...what are you doing? Keep your pants on, Dash!”

Rainbow did not, in fact, try to keep her pants on. “Hey, these are getting kinda tight! You think this is, you know, real? Or is it gonna be some weird modern art thing? If it’s real, that could be kinda neat.” She fumbled with the button of her shorts before deciding to just pull them down, biting her lip as she tried to pull them over her new equipment.

“I don’t know if it’s ‘real’ and I don’t care. I don’t want to see your new Curse Dick. I have no experience with Curse Dicks and it’s not something I ever want to have to put on my resume. That’s why you have a friend who is literally the Princess of Magic. I am in fact fully prepared to believe that the sole reason you and Princess Twilight met each other is so that one future day I would not have to look at your Mezoponytamian Curse Dick.”

"Aww come on, you can't tell me you've never– whoa!" There was a rustling of cloth and a faint, musky smell started to fill the room. "Wow, those are a lot bigger than they looked inside my pants."

"You have the least impulse control out of any pony I've ever seen." Daring groaned and very reluctantly opened her eyes and glanced downward, eyes widening as she saw the large blue cock and massive pair of balls big and full enough to force Rainbow's legs apart a couple inches. She blushed lightly as she realized that the other mare was stroking the cock, making it grow and rise up. "Stop that!"

"Hey, when am I ever going to get a chance like this again?" Rainbow chuckled and stroked up the full length of her growing shaft, face flushed and biting her lip. She squinted and tried to lean down a little, trying to push the now rock hard shaft to the side to see past it. "Hey, is there something weird on my balls?"

"You have balls, isn't that weird enough for you?" Daring gave an exasperated sigh and looked down again, forcing herself to look past the cock that was by now dripping precum all over the floor. She squinted and leaned a little closer. "There is something. Looks like some kind of picture? Kind of like a cutie mark..."

"Wait what? Are you seriously saying I have some kind of cutie mark on my magic balls?" Rainbow tilted her head, thinking that over for a moment. "Whoa, so those things are big enough to actually have their own cutie marks? Hey, is it, you know, my cutie mark or a different one?"

"Don't make this any weirder than it already is." Daring Do shook her head and blushed, leaning another few inches closer as she tried to get a better look. Every time she thought she could see the pictures they seemed to blur again. It didn't help that the smell of musk seemed to get stronger the longer she stared, making her feel dizzy and lightheaded. She blinked and swayed a little before going down onto her knees to get a closer look, leaning even further in until her hat was brushing against Rainbow's cock.

"Whoa, getting kinda close there. You okay, Daring? Daring?" Rainbow looked down at her friend and idol, blushing as she saw the adventurer on her hands and knees. The other mare was audibly breathing through her nose, staring ahead with glazed eyes and drool running down her chin, seemingly not even noticing the steady drip of precum ruining her pith hat.

Rainbow blushed more, squirming and moaning softly as she felt her cock twitch and her balls swell even larger and heavier. "S-so, uhm… can you see what the picture on my balls is?"

Daring blinked slowly, staring for a moment before mumbling. "Can see… picture… some kind of crown… over some kind of swirling rainbow…" She trailed off, still drooling and staring.

"Oh, uhm… that's neat?" Rainbow blushed a little deeper, trying to picture that. She glanced down again, thinking about swirling rainbows and magic. "...so, what exactly are you thinking about?"

"Thinking… uhhh…" Daring blinked, scrunching up in mild confusion. "...swirls? Colors… balls… big, heavy... smell…"

"Uh-huh. You sure do." Rainbow bit her lip, looking around as if someone would somehow suddenly show up in this secret chamber in the middle of nowhere and see this scene. "Thinking about my big heavy balls. But I bet you want to get a closer look, right? Get a good whiff of that smell. Maybe a little taaaaaaahhhh~!" She gasped and moaned, arching her back as Daring suddenly pressed her face into her balls and started to sniff deeply. "Ohhhhmygosh that feels amazing~!"

She moaned and panted, riding the unexpected burst of pleasure for several moments before she finally managed to look down again. Her cock was throbbing and twitching, gushing precum all over Daring's back. The mare herself had her face practically buried in her full and heavy balls, alternating between sniffing her musk, licking and sucking her balls and mindlessly staring at the rainbow swirls marking them.

Rainbow licked her lip, pondering for all of a second whether this was a good idea before she reached down to try and tug Daring back a little. "That's good, I know you like my balls. But there's something even better that needs your attention, remember~?"

"Baaaalls…" Daring moaned and swayed in place, blinking dumbly for a moment until Rainbow managed to direct her attention to the big throbbing cock in front of her. The adventurer blushed and let out a small whine, already leaning forward again and wrapping her lips around the head, swirling her tongue around the tip and gulping down the first mouthfuls of precum.

Rainbow gasped and blanked out again for a moment, a whole new level of pleasure running up and down her spine and hands instinctively grabbing onto Daring's head. By the time she managed a somewhat clear thought again, she found Daring already more than halfway down her shaft, slurping and gulping loudly and seemingly not even slightly uncomfortable despite the rather impossible size of the cock pushing down her throat. Rainbow was still trying to figure out if she should do something about that when Daring pushed forward the last inches, taking the entire cock up to the base and happily drooling all over Rainbow's balls as she moaned and gulped and lightly bobbed her head back and forth.

Any concerns Rainbow might have had were wiped out immediately by the final surge of pleasure radiating out from her dick through the rest of her body, nearly blanking out her brain again as she came hard and long, feeling her balls shrinking and watching Daring's shirt stretch out as she pumped their entire contents down her throat.

The orgasm finally tapered out, letting her pull her now considerably smaller and flaccid cock out of Daring and leaving the other mare to slump back on her butt, with a visibly full stomach that was pushing up her shirt and sloshing audibly with each movement. The other mare blinked a couple times, slowly coming back to awareness and blushing as she glared up at Rainbow.

"You dick!"

Rainbow squeaked and sweated nervously, shuffling backwards and fumbling to pull up her pants as Daring clumsily got to her feet and wobbled around her new center of mass. "H-hey, no hard feelings? I mean, none of us knew what exactly would happen so, uhh… hooray for science?"

"I'll give you science! This kind of shit is what happens when you just go around touching everything in old temples!" Daring growled and stumbled forward, herding Rainbow back until she found herself backed up against the statue. "I should have known! It's like it's your personal goal to cause the biggest possible fuck-up you can on every expedition before you actually start being helpful, but I didn't expect it to be this fucking literal!"

Rainbow blushed as she pressed herself up against the statue to get away from the angry lecture, fumbling around blindly behind her in hopes of finding another secret passage or something else.

"I told you not to come onto this trip because it would be boring but I didn't think you would take it as a challenge! I've seen a lot of dumb fucking idiots doing stupid shit but this has got to be one of the-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-guh!"

Rainbow winced as Daring twitched and flailed before collapsing in a steaming heap on the floor. She nervously glanced down at the staff she had somehow grabbed and instinctively fired, then back at the statue behind her. The statue looked weirdly untouched for presumably missing an integral part, and the staff she was holding was very oddly non-phallic, as much as any staff could be.

After a moment of silence Daring let out a low groan, slowly pushing herself up again and glaring at Rainbow the whole way. "Did you just zap me with the cursed cock rod?"

Rainbow swallowed nervously, biting her lip. "That would be a lot scarier you didn’t make it sound so funny."

"I'm glad turning the most popular all-ages adventure series hero into a bad clopfic protagonist is amusing to you. Well, I hope you find this hilarious, then!" Daring growled and dropped her pants.

Rainbow blushed lightly, staring at the newly revealed and rather impressive package Daring was sporting. There was a moment of silence only broken by an errant breeze letting their cocks swing softly in the wind.

"Oh for… I willingly dropped trou just to get revenge for that stunt you pulled earlier! Why isn't it working?!"

Rainbow coughed, rubbing her neck. "Uhm… I'm not sure but I don't think you got the same… you know? I mean, it doesn't *look* like a crown."

Daring's eye twitched. "I am not going to bend over to try and look at my own balls. What do you mean it doesn't look like a crown?"

Rainbow bit her lip, glancing down again, a stray thought coming to her head. "Well, it's kinda, uhm…" She stepped forward without warning and stroked her hand over the other mare's cock.

"W-whaaaat are you doing?" Daring gasped and moaned, biting her lip as she tried to swat Rainbow's hand away. "S-stop that, you pervert!"

"Hey, I just wanted to get a better look. And that was in the way." Rainbow snickered, giving the rising shaft another stroke.

"That's no reason to jerk me off without permission, Mistress!" Daring flailed at her, putting her own hands over her cock to keep Rainbow's away.

Rainbow blinked and blushed. "What did you say?"

"I said stop making a mess." Daring glared at her, absentmindedly stroking her own cock with both hands. "This whole place already has criminal amounts of dust without you making me drip all over the floor."

Rainbow blushed, staring at her swelling balls and the much more visible picture of a maid cap and feather duster on both sides of them, fading clearer into view the bigger they grew. "R-really? And why do you care about a bunch of dust in some old empty temple?"

"Because I'm your good little maid slut, of course!" Daring huffed, walking over to the nearest wall and plucking off a vine and some leaves growing on it, fashioning it into a rudimentary feather duster. "If you're at this old empty temple then it's my job to make it as clean and appealing as possible, Mistress."

"Oh? And what else is your job?" Rainbow blushed, watching as Daring stalked over to her, looking surprisingly sexy for someone wearing a dusty shirt, sticky pith helmet and their pants halfway down their legs. She blushed as the self-proclaimed maid bent over to dust off the statue and shake her ass at Rainbow.

"Doing whatever you tell me, Mistress. Otherwise I would hardly have come all the way out here for you." She gave the room a disdainful look before focusing entirely on dusting off a centuries-old stone cock.

"I see…" Rainbow licked her lips, watching for a moment before looking down at the staff in her hands. Daring Do as a maid was hot but kind of useless at the moment. She scrunched and tried to think extra hard about what she wanted before aiming the staff again.

Daring only froze for a second and barely twitched, the magic beam lasting much shorter than before. As soon as it cut out she turned around and hurried back over to Rainbow, holding out the makeshift duster. "Did you drop this, Mistress?"

Rainbow blushed and took the duster, glancing down past Daring's still hard cock to her balls and finding the pictures on them changed to a collar with a leash and a pet tag. "Oh, uh… I guess? I actually wanted to ask something else." She bit her lip nervously before blurting out. "Since when do pets wear clothes?"

Daring blinked, then blushed and giggled. "Golly, you're completely right, Mistress. I don't know where these even came from." She shamelessly kicked off her pants and panties, taking off her shirt, vest and her pith helmet before adding her bra to the pile and dropping everything to the side.

Rainbow squeaked and turned bright red, staring at her idol standing in nothing but a pair of boots and with a massive dripping hard cock throbbing between her legs. She absently noted that Daring's stomach was almost completely flat again, and noticed that some of the puddles and stains on the floor were already beginning to fade as well. "Huh… guess that stuff was pretty much just magic."

"What was that, Mistress?" Daring smiled at her excitedly, panting lightly and wagging her tail as well as she could.

"Ah, uhm… nothing! Just thinking about what a good girl you are?" Rainbow blushed and grinned awkwardly.

“I am? Oh thank you, Mistress!” Daring moaned and pushed her chest out, her cock throbbing even harder and wagging even more than her tail did.

Rainbow snickered and moved a little closer. “Oh? You like being called a good girl?”

Daring moaned again, nodding eagerly and panting a bit harder. “O-of course, Mistress! I want to be a good girl! I want to be the best girl for you!”

“Gee, you’re really enthusiastic, aren’t you?” Rainbow hummed and started stroking the other mare’s cock, feeling up the throbbing, rock hard shaft. “So tell me, what would you do to be a good girl?”

“Anything!” Daring gasped and started bucking her hips, pushing her cock against Rainbow’s hand. “I’m going to do whatever you tell me, Mistress! I’m going to be the best good girl you’ve ever had as a pet! I’m going to… going to…” She moaned lewdly and bucked her hips hard, shooting large globs of cum all over the floor.

Rainbow yelped and jumped out of the way, blushing as she watched the orgasm play out for almost half a minute, Daring’s balls visibly shrinking as her cock calmed down and turned flaccid again.

“I’m going… to kill you…” Daring Do panted and growled, slowly looking up at Rainbow to glare at her.

“Uhm… you okay, Daring?” Rainbow chuckled nervously, slowly backing away. “You were acting, ah, a little off there?”

“Not. Funny.” Daring growled again and stalked forward, grabbing Rainbow by the shoulders and pushing her against the wall. “This is not a game, Rainbow Dash. This is not some kind of story where you get to fool around and see what happens! We don’t even know what this thing does and what the long-term effects are and you are not! Helping!”

Rainbow swallowed nervously, holding very still and trying to will her cock to stop getting hard from this situation. “You, uhm… you seem a little tense there. If you wanted to pin me to a wall you could’ve just saaaaaaid okay okay not the right time, I got it!” She yelped and pressed harder against the wall, her voice pitching an octave higher as Daring grabbed her cock in a vice grip.

“Just in case it didn’t quite register in that hormone-addled bimbo brain of yours, I am not jacking you off right there. I am not teasing some kind of ‘happy ending’ for you here. In fact, seeing how we’re so far past the PG rating on this story it’s almost comical, there’s a surprising variety of non-happy endings I can think of for this idiot-stick of yours.” She squeezed lightly, getting another nervous squeak from Rainbow. “So you are going to let me get dressed, you are going to be quiet and not touch anything for the rest of this trip, and you are going to take me to privately see your princess friend so she can fix this without anyone else finding out about what are you doing?!”

Rainbow yelped and stammered, eyes wide as she dragged her hand up and down Daring’s cock between them. “I-I don’t, uhm, I mean, I… i-it seemed like a good idea at the time?”

Daring moaned and twitched, cock starting to get hard again and balls churning. “I just told you to not do exactly thaaaahhhh~! Why would you ever think that…? What could possibly…?” She blinked and shook her head, fingers loosening around Dash’s cock and starting to stroke up and down the shaft instead. “I, uhm… if you think it was a good idea you’re probably right, Mistress~”

Rainbow blushed lightly, licking her lips. “O-oh? I-I mean, of course I am. I’m always right.” The cutie marks on her balls tingled and she grinned, stroking Daring a little faster before slowing down again to keep her on a good level of arousal. “And how are you feeling, pet?”

“I’m feeling horny and obedient, Mistress!” Daring giggled and moaned, standing straight and pushing her chest out again, cock throbbing. “Was that the right answer, Mistress? Am I being a good girl?”

“Oh, you’re a very good girl.” Rainbow let go of her cock, slipping away from the wall and looking at the magic staff she was still holding before holding it out. “And I’m sure a good girl like you would love to let me use this thing on her. I think I’m starting to figure out how it works and I want to test something.”

“Of course, Mistress!” Daring jumped and saluted, shuffling back and standing at attention. “Do you need me to do anything?”

“No, just stand there.” Rainbow aimed the staff and concentrated, thinking for a moment on what she needed before grinning and shooting another blast of magic straight at the other mare.

Daring squeaked and jumped, giggling. “Eep! That tickles, Mistress! But aside from that I don’t feel, uhm… I feel… I…” She blinked, face going blank as she stood straight and saluted, cock standing stiff at attention in front of her. “I’m ready for duty, Your Highness.”

“Hah, awesome!” Rainbow grinned wider and walked up to her, moving around her to inspect her from all sides before crouching down for a good look at Daring’s balls, poking at them as she inspected the cutie marks of a coat-of-arms showing a heart-shaped lock and a rainbow with a crown. “Perfect. This might have come out even better than I expected. So are you going to be a good guard and do whatever I tell you?”

Daring saluted, face still blank. “I live to serve my queen.”

“Great, great. Preeeetty sure this is reversible. Nothing worth getting nervous over.” Rainbow muttered to herself before looking up again. “And are you going to cum?”

“Guards do not cum without their queen’s permission.” Daring saluted again.

“Excellent!” Rainbow grinned, patting her new guard’s shoulder and groping her tits. “Just give me a moment to get everything and we can leave.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

Rainbow blushed and lightly stroked her cock as she moved to pick up Daring’s clothes and her own pants, dusting them off and stuffing them into their travel pack before heading back out into the temple. “Alright, I think we’re ready to go. Just follow me and… hmm…” She paused, looking back at Daring, then at the jungle outside the window, then at Daring again. “Say, how good exactly are you with vines and that kinda survivalist stuff?”

~~~~~

“You know, this actually sounded like a much less good idea in my head. Like, I was sure it would be fun for maybe five minutes before I’d get a sore ass or cramped legs or something. This is surprisingly comfortable.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

Rainbow hummed and wiggled her butt a little to get more comfortable in the backpack seat made of vines and leaves, legs hooked over her loyal guard’s shoulders. Daring was running through the jungle at a steady clip, hands holding Rainbow’s legs in place, her cock throbbing and balls churning in constant arousal and ignoring her passenger’s cock bouncing right above her head and steadily dripping precum across her face and tits.

~~~~~

“...Your Highness?”

“Huh wha buh?” Rainbow jerked back awake, yawning and stretching as she sat up and blinked into the evening light, looking around in confusion. “...huh?”

“I said that we have arrived.”

Rainbow blinked again, a blush and a sense of dread equally creeping up her face. “...what?”

“You ordered me to take you home before you fell asleep. We have arrived in Ponyville.”

“Ah. Yes. Haha. Right, I did say that.” Rainbow gulped and shuffled to sit a little straighter, trying and failing to hide behind Daring’s head. They had indeed ‘arrived in Ponyville’, if by that one meant ‘stopping in the middle of town in full view of a dozen ponies’.

She leaned forward a little to take a more complete stock of their situation. She was still sitting in the survivalist version of a palanquin, wearing nothing but her shirt, her shoes and her rapidly dwindling confidence, legs draped over the shoulders of her second idol who was wearing nothing but her magically induced and probably misplaced confidence, the other mare’s front covered in Rainbow’s precum that was still dripping from the cock resting in her mane. Leaning forward and to the side a little more she couldn’t help feel a strange kind of awe at the size of Daring’s balls, swollen to the size of softballs with their coat-of-arms mark on full display through five to six hours of magical denial, as well as a measure of professional respect for her ability to still manage a proper parade rest despite their size.

At least their travel pack and the staff from the temple were still safe and secured under her seat and hadn’t gotten lost while she’d been asleep.

“Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow froze, mind going into full panic mode as she slowly turned her head to watch her certain doom coming closer. “R-Rarity! I-I can explain-!”

“Well, I’d certainly hope so!” Rarity stomped up to her and right past Rainbow to instead start fussing over Daring Do, wiping her down with a towel. “We expected you two back hours ago, darling! I don’t mind if you want to take the scenic route back, but you could at least have told us before you left. We were getting worried something might have happened to you!”

Rainbow stared blankly at the unicorn, her brain throwing up its metaphorical hands and going into a hard reboot. “I, uh… what?”

Rarity raised an eyebrow, looking at her for a moment before going back to tutting over her ride. “Your expedition, darling? I know Miss Daring said there wouldn’t be much in the way of adventure but you know how things tend to go when any of us are involved. Some of us were simply getting a little anxious.”

“Riiiiight…” Rainbow nodded slowly. “And you don’t have anything to say about…” She gestured vaguely at Daring Do, her cock throbbing and dripping even more precum over the mare at the sheer absurdity of the situation.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Rainbow, you know I do.” Rarity rolled her eyes, stepping back and looking the naked mare over. “I know you like to keep your guards naked and that’s your executive decision, but I really think a little bit of fabric could really work wonders to fully emphasize what is there without covering up any of the important parts. Maybe some bits of lace, or thin silk, or a couple straps…?”

Rainbow stared at her, mouth hanging open and at a loss for words.

“Rarity! Stop hounding the poor mare about yer business. If Rainbow don’t want to gussy up her guards, that’s up to her.” Applejack walked up to them, pulling the cart from their market stall and tossing Rainbow a couple apples that she caught purely on instinct. “Here ya go, Dash, Ah reckon y’all are gonna be mighty hungry after bein’ out in the wilds all day.”

Rainbow nodded dumbly, holding the apples to her chest and looking between her two friends. “And you two are okay with… Daring Do being my naked guard slut?”

“Why, what else would she be?” Rarity gestured at Daring’s massive balls without a hint of shame. “With a cutie mark like that, it’s practically her calling. And a proper queen needs at least one guard.”

“That’s right.” Applejack nodded, also completely shamelessly staring between Daring’s legs. “Don’t rightly know about the naked part or the slut part, but Ah reckon with a package like that it’s just the most sensible solution, playin’ to her strengths and all that.”

Rainbow nodded some more, just to fill the silence as she stared at her two friends. “Riiiight, uhm… right. Right. So, uhm…” She glanced around, then up, spotting the silhouette of her cloud home against the sunset in the distance. “We should probably, uhm… make our way home before it gets dark. You know, just, uhm…” She looked around nervously again before swallowing and straightening up a little. “Guard! That way until we’re underneath my cloud house!”

Another furtive glance at her friends showed them looking completely at ease with her ordering a naked national icon of literature and award-winning author around. She blushed and grinned nervously, her cock throbbing even more as she watched ponies pause to do nothing more than smile and wave at her and her ride or even ignore them completely. Once they were up in the privacy of her home she should probably figure out a way to fix all of this. Or perhaps they should get some sleep first and try to figure out that magic staff in the morning. Daring was probably tired after walking for so long. And she wouldn’t want to bother Twilight at this time of night anyway.

She nodded to herself. That was just practicality, no other reason. Just getting a good night’s sleep before she focused on playing around I mean fixing this whole situation. And if she wasn’t going to tell Daring about the spare cloud futon that was just because it was better to keep her close just in case and not at all because she was morbidly curious about how those massive balls would feel used as pillows. And tomorrow she would fix everything and this would all just be a funny story to never tell anypony ever, after she fixed everything and handed over the magic staff instead of testing it out on more of her friends or maybe the Wonderbolts which she definitely wasn’t going to do because she was going to fix things and then hand it over. Definitely.