Hearth's Warming Snuggles
The festivities of New Year’s in Equestria were not terribly unlike the celebrations you had seen back home. Although they were largely categorized under the broad umbrella of a holiday called “Hearth’s Warming,” the similarities they shared to the holidays of Christmas and New Year’s back home were almost startling. You supposed that maybe there was an inherent excitement and reverence within all sentient creatures for their traditions, whatever they happened to be rooted in—but whatever the case was, regardless of whether or not there was some universal truth surrounding the tendency of creatures to enjoy detonating large amounts of sparkly explosives whenever they set out to celebrate things, you were presently leaning against a balcony railing watching one such display from a vantage point that offered you a fantastic view.
And you could not have been more unenthused.
Sure, the festive air was nice. The snow on the ground reminded you of the joy you felt back home when the weather would occasionally get bad enough to cancel school. The multicolored lights strung from practically every roof in Canterlot reminded you quite extensively of the holiday season back home, with everything from the feeling of wondrous excitement you had once gotten from Christmas day to the utter dismay you had experienced when “All I Want for Christmas is You” would play over the radio for the umpteenth time at your job. Even the night sky that glimmered above was nostalgic in a way, despite the fact there was no one experience you necessarily associated it with.
No, your lack of enthusiasm at the moment was not because of any of these things. For all intents and purposes, you should have been happy. It was precisely because it reminded you so much of home that you could feel your heart beat just a little more slowly, and your body feel a little more sluggish. Everyone here was nice and all, but… beyond simple pleasantries, your interactions had yielded little more than idle chatter about the festivities, the celebrations, and even the weather, as though this world existed entirely in some sort of stereotypical sitcom. Although there were no shortage of ponies you could potentially strike up one of these conversations with, at the end of the day, you did not have a family to go home to. A best friend to shoot a quick text to asking if you can go out for a midnight drive to just talk about life. A sibling to play a video game with, a mother to hug and be hugged by, a father to ask you about how your university studies were going. All you had was a room in Equestria’s capital city, empty and lonely.
You sighed. Maybe that was not the best way to think about it—after all, things absolutely could have been worse. Had the princesses not shown an absolutely incredible amount of generosity and practically given you a room to stay in, good food to eat, clean water to drink, clothes to wear, and even a job opportunity on a silver platter, you very likely would be sitting in a back corner of the city, starving, cold, and exceedingly lonelier than you felt at the present moment.
But at the same time… although you did not want to take your blessings for granted, things could have been better, too.
Your ruminations had completely shielded your mind from hearing the gentle tapping of hoofsteps on the marble castle floor; and as a result, when the voice of Princess Celestia greeted you from fairly close behind, you almost jumped right out of your skin.
“AH!” you had exclaimed as you whipped around, only to be met with the gentle smile of the Princess of the Sun. “Oh! Celestia! Sorry about that, you scared me,” you laughed, holding your hand to your heart, the sudden rush of adrenaline having caused it to beat significantly faster.
The radiant princess tittered, placing a hoof to her mouth as she did so. “I do apologize, Anon, I had not meant to frighten you.”
“Nah, it’s alright!” You said casually with the wave of a hand, adopting as genuine a smile as you could. “What brings you here? Aren’t you a pretty important guest at this shindig?”
“I could ask the same question of you,” Celestia smiled, trotting up beside you. “I hadn’t seen you in a bit, and so I went out to see if I couldn’t find you to check in.”
You really could not understand how such a creature could be saddled with so many responsibilities, and yet still find the time to do kind things like this. You chuckled, returning her smile before looking back out across the city. “Aw, thank you, that was sweet of you. I’m doing alright but thank you for the thought! I appreciate it!”
It was, of course, a lie. Not the part about you appreciating her gesture—that much was very definitely true. But even though you were not suffering… you were not alright. Thankfully, twenty or so years of experience learning how to mask that fact meant that you were nothing short of an expert of pulling off that lie; as you looked back to the alabaster alicorn, you grinned, stretching out somewhat before leaning back against the railing. “How’re you enjoying the party?”
“It’s nice, but gatherings like this have never been my favorite,” Celestia answered nonchalantly. “But, when one’s line of work requires them to attend them rather frequently… you get good at learning how to hide it.”
“Mmh,” you hummed with a nod of your head. “I feel that. I like parties just fine, but it really just depends on the mood I’m in—that, and the company I’m in while I’m there.”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” Celestia grinned as she leaned against the railing herself, her dress beginning to glitter in the bright moonlight as she shifted positions. “I love parties—just not when I have to be Celestia the Princess instead of Celestia the pony.”
“Yeah… I can definitely imagine. Even though I haven’t been here for long, I definitely do get the feeling that a lot of people—er… ponies, have ideas of you that they expect you to constantly live up to. That can’t make any formal gatherings very simple, I wouldn’t think,” you say as you shift positions slightly, crossing your arms as you look back into the mare’s magenta eyes.
“That’s a very astute observation,” Celestia smiled. “Though, I don’t want you to worry about me too much. Being alive as long as I have been has afforded me plenty of practice—both in situations like those, and in changing how I frame it.”
You did not know just how old Celestia was, and you knew better than to ask. You did, however, know that she had to be old enough to have sent her sister to the moon over a thousand years ago—which, in and of itself, would already have been one-sixth of the entire recorded history of your kind back home. “Oh yeah?” you grin. “How do you frame it now, then?”
“As an opportunity to learn,” Celestia replied simply.
A brief silence overtook the air for a few moments as you waited for her to say more; but as the seconds ticked by, it rapidly became apparent that that was all. You raised an eyebrow, allowing a singular titter to fall from your lips. “What? That’s it?”
“What? Do you need an answer longer than that?” Celestia countered with a titter of her own. “Or have you grown used to me expounding upon nearly every sentence I say?”
“I mean… yes? I think the only one who beats you in that department is Twilight,” you say, gesturing to the air as if the lavender mare would suddenly appear.
This got a laugh out of Celestia, the sun princess shaking her head. “Well, that’s all you’re getting for now. Maybe if you hang around the party a bit longer, though… I’ll tell you more.”
As soon as you opened your mouth to making a joking remark, the words did not come out. How did she know that you wanted to leave? Raising an eyebrow, but keeping the same façade from before, you give a faux expression of incredulity. “Whoever said I wanted to leave?”
“Creatures who want to be at a party don’t tend to run off to an obscure corner of the venue away from everyone else,” the princess observed, her expression unchanging.
Almost instantly, your smile disappeared; from the way it was looking, she had seen right through your act. Your mind scrambled to come up with a reason, hoping to find something that, if nothing else, would at least allow you to get away without having to explain anything. “Okay, maybe a bit, but it’s just because I feel kind of drained for the night. I think my social battery ran out a couple hours ago, so I just came up here to see if I could get a quick recharge.”
It was not entirely untrue—you did feel a bit drained, but not for the reason you had just given. With any luck, however, she would buy it, walk away, and just leave you be…
“You wanted to recharge your social battery for a party you wanted to leave?” Celestia asked with a knowing look.
…Or not.
Your mouth shut again as your façade rapidly began to fall apart. Your relaxed, confident posture slumped; your eyes, which had once been filled with energy, now lidded partway, a sigh dropping from your mouth in the process.
“Anon,” Celestia smiled tenderly, her eyebrows slanting upwards. “You’re not doing alright, are you?”
Rubbing your nose with the palm of your hand, you turn away, leaning forward against the balcony and looking off into the night. “You’d make a great detective, you know.”
“Anon…” Celestia said your name again, trotting quietly over to your side before sitting down, unfurling a wing around your form as she pulled you a little closer. Her pull was gentle, yet insistent, urging you to move into her side. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just…” you began with another sigh, looking the concerned princess in the eyes. “I don’t feel like I belong here. Like… don’t get me wrong, everyone has been friendly and all, but I don’t know anyone, and no one knows me. Not in the sense of being familiar with anyone’s face, or anything like that, but in the sense of a friendship that goes deeper than just saying hi to each other in passing, you know?”
You look back out at the Christmas lights strung out along the roofs of the many buildings across Canterlot. Their multiple colors are both beautiful and nostalgic, something that just makes you shake your head. “And I guess it just… hurts. Everything here is similar enough to the way things were back home that it’s frightening sometimes, and yet… even though I’ve tried, each time I try to fit in anywhere, I just find over and over that I don’t. Not because no one likes me, or because I’m an unlikable person in general or anything like that, because I know both of those things aren’t true. It’s more because I feel like I’m just different enough to everyone else that they don’t want to risk testing the waters. Like they’re willing to be familiar with the big, strange ape-looking thing as someone who exists, but beyond that… not much else.”
Giving another sidelong glance to the snow-colored mare, you soon thereafter tilt your head upwards to the sky. Even the moon looked similar to the one you knew back home, and the craters where in roughly the same place, to boot. “And combining that with the fact that there’s an entire life I left behind when I wound up here… I miss having that kind of connection. Like… I had friends, family, loved ones back home, and now… it’s likely that I’m never going to see them again. I’ve made peace with that part of it, but… that still doesn’t fill up that hole that they left in my heart, if that makes sense.”
Celestia, meanwhile, had been nodding, paying careful attention to the things you were saying as she unconsciously began to squeeze you more tightly against her frame. By the time you had finished, her embrace had expanded to include a hoof as well, the angelic princess having pulled you close to flush against her side. A few moments of silence passed as the two of you simply sat there, the warmth of the princess’ embrace seeping into your form like linen fresh out of the dryer.
“I understand,” she finally spoke. “If humans are anything like ponies, then it means you’re inherently social creatures. You long to form bonds and deeply connect with others, but here, you feel like you can’t. And since you could, once upon a time… that only makes it hurt that much worse.”
You blinked a tear from your eye. “Yeah… pretty much that.”
“Oh, honey…” Celestia cooed, tightening her embrace around you as she placed her head on top of yours. She began to run a hoof along your back as you were smushed against her, gently rocking back and forth with you all the while. Her fur felt softer than silk, and when, with another hoof, she pressed your head against her barrel, you could faintly hear the beat of her heart—something that was strangely soothing, coaxing out the stress, tension, and sadness you had been bottling up for so long.
Another few tears came to your eyes, almost immediately being absorbed by Celestia’s coat before they had a chance to fall. You slowly began to reach an arm around her form in reciprocation, being careful to mind her wings and dress, returning the hug as your body convulsed with a sob.
For a little while, you just cried into her fur—and she let you. She said nothing as tear after tear came forth, simply opting to continue gently running a hoof along your back. You had not been in this strange land for long, but it had apparently been long enough for you to have suppressed a ton of emotion you had not even realized you were suppressing. However much it was, though, it was all being released—and that was the important part.
When, after many minutes, there were no tears left to cry, you simply remained cuddled against the radiant alicorn, saying nothing, and making no sound other from the occasional sniffle as you occasionally returned the tightened squeezes she had begun to give you.
“You know,” the alicorn began, breaking the near silence that had fallen over the balcony. “Although I’ll never quite know what it’s like to be in your exact situation… I do relate to some of it.”
“You do?” you croaked, not breaking from your position pressed against her side.
Celestia nodded her head with an affirmative hum, looking off into the night sky, and up to the moon. “I don’t know how much you’ve heard about Equestria’s history, but… just a little bit over a thousand years ago, I made a mistake—and a particularly egregious mistake, at that—when I banished my sister, Luna, to the moon. I won’t go into the full details of the how and why, but shortly thereafter… for a variety of reasons, some self-imposed, some not, I had almost no one else in my life who had ever seen anything except Celestia the Princess. And thus… that’s what most ponies came to expect of me. Everyone I met thought me to be this prim and perfect royal at all times, and even though it was a situation that I had entirely created, and definitely deserved… it still hurt, not being able to talk with anyone as Celestia the pony. Almost everyone had formed their view of who I was, and since who I was to them was someone so distant and unapproachable… it made it seem impossible to truly bond with anyone.”
Finally unburying your face from her barrel, you look up at the sun princess with a sniffle. “I can see that…”
Celestia nodded, flexing her wing around your form just a little bit more tightly as she gazed down at you with a smile. “But, since then… I’ve found a family. First there was my adopted niece, Cadence, and then my ever-faithful student, Twilight. Then came the return of my sister—and everywhere in between, whenever I started to truly believe I could… there were friends I made all along the way. Some have become so near and dear to me that I don’t even consider them friends anymore so much as I do members of my family—others are more just friends in passing. But they are many in number nevertheless, and I wouldn’t trade them away for anything.”
Before you even had a chance to tell yourself that that would never happen for you, Celestia raised your head to meet her gaze with her other wing. Her smile was genuine and true; it was not the perpetual one that she wore at all times of day. It was brighter… happier. It told of a future that was not filled with hardship and suffering, but of success and prosperity. It held no judgement, no condemnation, and no reservation—it was as though it was a glimpse into Celestia’s very soul. “Let me assure you, Anon, that if you truly put your mind to it… if it’s possible for me, it will definitely be possible for you. You are a smart, funny, charming, and friendly creature to your core, and that is not something that has gone unnoticed. Although it may take time, and although it won’t necessarily come easily… it will come, so long as you strive for it.”
As you process and absorb everything the mare has to say, you let out a chuckle, pulling her in tightly once again before looking back up at her with a genuine smile of your own. “You’re really good at that, too… making someone feel better, I mean. I swear, you… thank you.”
Of course, not everything felt better—but you knew that not everything would instantly. Some of it would have to come with time, effort, and careful consideration; but all the same, in that moment… you believed her. You believed that maybe, somehow, some way… things would get better. That you would find a group of friends to become your family, and that things would not always be as gloomy, dark, and grim as they had felt today.
“Of course, Anon, it’s the least I could do,” Celestia happily hummed. “Everything is going to be okay—even if it doesn’t always feel like it. And even when the rainy days come, they only make the days of bright sunshine feel that much better—it’s all about how you frame it.”
You nodded your head as you allowed your muscles to relax, looking back out across the city of Canterlot. You opened your mouth to speak again, but decided that there was nothing left to be said, instead opting to sit back with the sun princess as, off in the distance, more fireworks began to shoot up and into the sky. The sparkling colors that erupted from each after they had finished streaking across the sky only made your grin that much wider, wonderment and amazement resting in your eyes at the display.
“Now…” Celestia began, shifting positions somewhat as she finally retracted the wing she had kept around your form for so long. “Would you be willing to come back to the party with me?”
A quiet chuckle escaped you as you began to ready yourself to stand again, wiping what remained of the tearstains from your eyes in the process. “I think I have to after that… after all, how else am I going to get you to expand upon how you’ve learned to frame things?”
“How else indeed!” the sun princess chirped, her eyes brightening up considerably. Shortly thereafter, both of you stood, made your way through the threshold of the entrance to the balcony, and began on your way back towards the main hall.
The festivities of New Year’s in Equestria were not terribly unlike the celebrations you had seen back home. Although they were largely categorized under the broad umbrella of a holiday called “Hearth’s Warming,” the similarities they shared to the holidays of Christmas and New Year’s back home were almost startling. You supposed that maybe there was an inherent excitement and reverence within all sentient creatures for their traditions, whatever they happened to be rooted in—but whatever the case was, regardless of whether or not there was some universal truth surrounding the tendency of creatures to enjoy detonating large amounts of sparkly explosives whenever they set out to celebrate things, you were presently walking back towards the party with someone who, you were quite sure would become one of the greatest friends you had ever had.
And you could not have been more enthused.
Author's Note
I know it's a little late to be writing stories about Hearth's Warming, but hey, better late than never, right?
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!
