Right hook, left jab, tornado kick
“Okay, gummy!” Pinkie announced quietly. “I’m off to feed Miss Rose again.”
The young, toothless alligator replied with a snore.
“I’ll be back soon!”
Pinkie filled a pot with vegetables and plopped it onto her back. Then she grabbed a stainless steel colander and headed out.
It had to have been around 1:30 a.m. when Pinkie arrived at Roseluck’s house. She knocked on the door and was immediately invited in.
“We’re gonna have some steamed celery, potatoes, carrots, and broccoli in my world famous herbal broth!” Pinkie announced.
“That’s fantastic!” Roseluck cheered, leaping over her couch.
“We just need some of your herbs.”
“My herbs? Sorry, Pinkie. I don’t have any at the moment.”
“Oh. I assumed you’d have ‘em since, you know, you’re all about flowers.” Pinkie nodded her head towards Rose's assortment of flower pots.
“Yeah. Daisy might have some herbs, but she’s asleep.”
“Well, we could sneak into Daisy’s place and take 'em. Leave an ‘I owe you’ someplace.”
“Um, sure. If you’re willing to climb onto the roof. The only unlocked entrance to her place is through the balcony on the top floor. She lives in an apartment.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie concluded, classically.
Pinkie and Roseluck climbed atop Rose’s house with ease and began bounding over the streets, rooftop to rooftop. Pinkie had been skilled in this field of movement from her unnatural source of abundant energy, and her constant jumping on rocks and hills in her foal-hood.
Roseluck had developed herself a way to navigate and maneuver herself quickly and efficiently through the forest trees and through urban / suburban environments. As a foal, she ran away from most of her problems, resulting in her being experienced in the field of running.
They arrived at Daisy’s apartment, the tallest building on this side of Ponyville. (Tallest being town hall.) Rose backed up to give herself a galloping start, and she jumped off of the roof, grabbing a hold of a balcony railing. She lent a hoof out to Pinkie, who followed in her hoof-steps, also stepping back to jump at full speed. She caught Roseluck’s hoof and held tight with her wrist. Rose hoisted her up onto the balcony before climbing up herself.
They arrived at the balcony doors, which were indeed left open, and wandered in. Roseluck trotted down the stairs quietly while Pinkie slid on the rail, annoying Rose a bit.
“So, where are the herbs at?” Pinkie asked, bouncing in place.
“You sound like a drug dealer.” Roseluck pointed out playfully.
They laughed, both catching their giggles with their hooves, remembering this was a stealth mission. Roseluck ushered Pinkie towards the pantry where Daisy kept culinary and medicinal herbs.
“3rd floor! Rosemary and Gatling guns!” Pinkie joked, now being in a room where sound was relatively controlled.
“Gatling guns are illegal, Pinkie.” Roseluck said with a sigh. “What herbs do you need to cook?”
“We’ll just need basil and rosemary.” Pinkie said.
Roseluck grabbed the labeled containers and threw them into Pinkie’s bag.
“Let’s get outta here. I’m hungry.” Rose announced.
They left the building, using the front door this time around, and walked back to Rose’s house.
“Shoot!” Pinkie said, unexpectedly along the way.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to get my knife.”
“Your…knife?” Roseluck asked, cautiously.
“Yeah. To cut the vegetables.”
“Oh. Heh, okay you go get that. I’ll start up the soup.”
Pinkie recollected to the last time Roseluck tried to cook.
“How about you go home and set the table instead.” Pinkie said, slowly. She began to trot back to the Sugarcube Corner.
~
“What’s this?” Pinkie asked herself as she pulled out a strange binding of paper from her box of kitchen utensils. She didn’t know what it was, or where it came from, but it looked pretty decrepit.
Pinkie opened it to see what looked like an instructions booklet, or a how-to guide. Pinkie decided to take it with her, along with her knife.
~
“What is it?” Roseluck asked, dazed by the fantastic smell of steamed vegetables and mouthwatering herbal broth.
“I’m not sure, but it’s got some crazy pictures of humans doing weird things.”
“Humans?”
“Oh. We went on a trip to another dimension and saw these creatures standing on their hind legs, like, all the time, and we’re part of a cartoon for foals over there, and they have big schools and they’re called humans, but Twilight called them anthropini… and-“
“Okay.” Roseluck halted the exasperated pink one, unfazed by the story too strange to have been fabricated. “So... what kind of weird things?”
“Weird. Things.”
Roseluck blushed. “That’s… weird. You think it’s some kind of a dirty-”
“Not that weird.” Pinkie explained.
“Well, let’s read it over soup!”
“Okie dokie lokie!”
~
The next day, Pinkie and Roseluck began to read the large ‘instruction’s booklet’ religiously. They found out that the booklet was some kind of guide to ‘fighting style’.
“I didn’t even know fighting had a style!” Pinkie said.
The first bunch of pages were about a human fighting style called ‘Capoeira.’ They read how it was used, and why it was developed as if they were reading a book of fairy tales. Capoeira was an acrobatic fighting style that was used to take on many opponents at once, regardless if they were armed or not.
But the best thing to Pinkie and Roseluck about this fighting style was how it was discreetly hidden in music and dance. The unique style could look like a magnificent dance while also being a powerful weapon.
“Sounds fun!” Pinkie said. “Let’s try it!”
“Looks cool.” Roseluck stated. “But how are we going to play the music for it? They use pretty weird instruments.”
Pinkie thought for a moment, then reached into her mane and pulled out a radio. It just so happened to be playing the rhythmic music of Capoeira.
“Let’s dance!” Pinkie stated.
~
About a week or so later, Pinkie visited Roseluck for another practice session of Capoeira. They hadn’t told anyone, simply because they didn’t know what to say. With such little time, they had mastered the foreign martial art.
Roseluck and Pinkie cartwheeled in front of each other, eyes locked, anticipating each others intentions. They did just as the booklet instructed. Roseluck then, suddenly, stood on her hind legs and spun a fast kick at Pinkie, who dodged it easily by rolling under it.
Pinkie and Rose threw acrobatic kicks at each other as they flipped around in the air, easily dodging each others attacks. It was a sight to see.
This went on for about an hour.
“Well, we mastered the Capoeira.” Roseluck said, standing on her fore hooves. She then tried to twist kick Pinkie in this position. She caught her off guard, but she back flipped out of it.
“Yes, we did.” Pinkie stated, impressed that Roseluck had perfected Capoeira’s trickery. “I wonder what else we can learn.”
“I saw something called boxing and fisticuffs.” Roseluck said, finally resting on all fours, just to be caught off guard with a heavy front-kick to the chest. Roseluck flew into a wall and slid back down to the earth slowly. She recovered quickly and laughed.
“Boxing? Sounds fun, too!” Pinkie announced.
~
So, four days passed and Pinkie had mastered the art of boxing. South paw boxing to be exact. Roseluck decided to learn orthodox fisticuffs, just to have a different style from Pinkie. They trained together for hours, totally losing track of time and actually going to sleep when everypony else did, which was a rarity for insomniacs like them.
Soon, their hunger to learn more had grown, but the booklet only contained three fighting styles that they had already mastered. They tried to satisfy their urge by learning each others boxing style, but they were too similar to be exciting.
“Well,” Pinkie said one day after a session of Capoeira. “This doesn’t look like it’s the full book. I’m supposed to have tea with Twilight and Rarity tomorrow. Maybe Twilight knows were the rest is.”
“Sounds good.” Roseluck said flipping around on her fore-hooves, her hind legs like helicopter propellers.
~
“A fighting manual?” Twilight asked skeptically.
“Yeah! Rose and I learned martial arts from it. Pretty neat, huh?”
Twilight read the booklet in three minutes. “I’ve never thought of fighting as a form of rationality.” She said, suddenly fascinated.
“What?” Pinkie asked, not comprehending.
“Well, this book explains fighting as a philosophy. For instance, this ‘Capoeira’ seems to teach the user to interpret their opponents true intentions, and to foresee attacks while they plan their own. Boxing seems to enable to user to think straight in a tough situation.”
“Ya.” Pinkie said. “I guess.”
“I have to see if I can find the full book!” Twilight said excitedly. “Rarity will be here soon. Maybe we can all read it over tea.”
Pinkie enjoyed the idea of fighting sessions together.
Twilight searched the library for the book that these pages belong to. She searched on the high shelves and on the low drawers filled with older books. When she couldn’t seem to find one, she asked her assistant, Spike, to help.
“Maybe you don’t have it, Twilight.” Spike suggested, tearing out books from the bookshelf haphazardly. Suddenly, Spike chucked a book at Twilight’s head by mistake.
“Wha- Spike…” Twilight was about to scold the baby dragon when she surveyed the book that was thrown at her. 'Human body as a weapon.'
“Spike, where did you find it?” Twilight asked happily.
“Over in that pile of stuff you got from your trip with Cheerilee.”
“Ah.” Twilight fit the pages into the book to find that they were indeed meant for each other.
She could hear a knocking at the door. Pinkie answered it, and found that it was Rarity.
“The tea is almost ready!” Rarity cheered.
“Fantastic, let’s go.” Twilight said, bringing the book along.
~
During their weekly tea session, Twilight began to read the book silently to herself, flaunting the cover so that Rarity could ask what it was. Despite her efforts, Rarity continued to talk about how marvelous the fabrics she bought from Canterlot were.
Soon the tea time had ended and Twilight shrugged off the fact that Rarity wasn’t interested in the book. She simply walked home and continued to read over her favorite fighting style. Muay Thai.
The philosophy behind it was captivating to Twilight, and she actually wanted to follow Pinkie’s example and learn the style. So everyday, she’d practice her skills on a rag doll she brought to life. She sparred with it until she was satisfied with the effects her powerful kicks and punches had on it. She then moved up to making the doll fight back with the very skills she'd learned.
Within a week, Twilight had mastered the style. She wondered how, though. She read how it took humans years to master these fighting styles, but Pinkie and Roseluck had mastered two in a matter of weeks. She concluded it was due to how much more athletic and adaptive most ponies were compared to humans. Humans needed to train their bodies, and they weren’t very adaptive at all.
Proud of her new skill, Twilight decided to spar with two other masters she knew. She yawned and decided to hold that off for another day.
~
It was time for tea again. Rarity and Twilight decided to walk to Sugarcube corner to retrieve Pinkie since she was running late. When they approached the building, they could hear loud thumping noises. Twilight opened the door to see a kick almost inches from her face. Instinctively, she caught it with both her hooves and flung it across the room.
Roseluck crashed into a table and sat there for a moment.
“Sorry, Rose.” Twilight apologized, bowing respectfully to her injured opponent.
“That was cool!” Pinkie squealed with glee. “What fighting style didja learn?”
“Muay Thai.” Twilight answered with a smile.
Rarity felt left-out and decided to help Roseluck up. As she walked over to the Roseluck, however, she sprung up on her own and performed a cartwheel back onto her hooves.
“Hi Miss Rarity,” Roseluck said, shrugging off pain. “how are you?”
“What in the name of Celestia, are you ruffians doing?!” Rarity exclaimed.
Roseluck took a long, hard look at Rarity, until she finally smiled. Then she turned her gaze to Pinkie, determination in her eyes, and got back into the fight.
“A-are they dancing themselves to death?” Rarity asked confused. “And you, Twilight! You threw Miss Roseluck across the room.”
“She startled me.” Twilight giggled.
“Oh, and I suppose if I were to ‘startle’ you, you’d buck me out of a window?”
Twilight considered the thought for a moment.
“Twilight!” Rarity yelled.
“No, of course not. We’re all practicing martial arts.”
“More like ‘murder’ arts. You girls can get seriously hurt.”
Rarity turned to look at Pinkie and Roseluck, who each cartwheeled around the room so flawlessly, performing back-flips over kicks, and side-flips over other acrobatic attacks. Rarity probably would have thought they were dancing with the way they moved, despite the sudden burst of aggression from one opponent and the abrupt sense of urgency from the defender.
It was as if they were reading each others minds. All in all, it was a pretty cool sight. Twilight was fascinated to see that they’ve truly mastered the art with her own eyes.
Suddenly, in the middle of the dance, Roseluck managed to trip Pinkie, and kick her in the side, with two swift rotations. Pinkie rolled onto the floor, and recovered quickly, only to find herself having to limbo under another swift kick from Rose.
Pinkie was on the defense, and needed to find a way back into dominance. Rose punched and kicked fluidly and violently, only to catch air. Pinkie finally began to retreat to the wall. Roseluck was certain she had Pinkie cornered,but then Pinkie ran up the wall, and back-flipped behind Roseluck, startling her. Rose turned around and saw a hoof inches in front of her face.
“Nice.” Roseluck praised Pinkie for her masterful escape.
“Thanks.” Pinkie smiled, remaining in her south paw boxing pose. She relaxed when she heard clapping from one of the tables.
“That was amazing, you two!” Twilight applauded.
“My, my.” Rarity spoke, pretty impressed. “When ponies fight, they normally just punch or...-or kick. There’s no real practice to it.” Rarity said, blushing. Twilight inferred that Rarity has probably been in a fight before.
“That’s true.” Twilight agreed. “If you were to learn martial arts in Equestria, you’d be pretty untouchable.”
Rarity’s ears perked up at the thought. “Tea time is canceled, everypony.”
Pinkie and Twilight looked shocked.
“But, Miss Rarity,” Rose started, “don’t you three always have tea today?”
“This is true.” Rarity stated. “But I think I’d like to learn some of these ‘martial arts’ just to spice things up.”
“That would be super duper fantastic!” Pinkie bounced gleefully.
“Yeah, we could all spar together.” Twilight squealed eagerly.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” Rarity asked rhetorically. “Rose, are you coming?”
“No thank you, Miss Rarity. I have to water my plants.”
“Suit yourself!”
~
“Pick Capoeira! It’s fun!” Pinkie exclaimed
“You should choose Muay Thai.” Twilight tried to push Rarity in the desired direction.
“Girls, girls please. I’ll choose whichever suits me most.”
“Boxing!” Pinkie screamed. “Choose boxing!”
“Pinkie!” Twilight yelled.
Pinkie shrugged her shoulders in such a way, you could practically hear the live audience laughing in the background.
Rarity flipped through the book with her magic, using her hooves to massage her temples. Finally, she spoke. “Gimmie some time to think. May I borrow this book, Twilight.”
“Do you have a library card?” Twilight asked sarcastically, then she smiled. “Tell us when you picked one you like!” Twilight said, walking out of the boutique.
“Yeah, tell us when you’ve picked Capoeira!” Pinkie earned a slap upside the head from Twilight on their way out. Queue audience laughter.
~
After about a week of not hearing from Rarity, Twilight decided to go check up on her. When she arrived at the boutique, she saw a ‘closed’ sign on the door. She assumed something was wrong. Twilight walked into the boutique to see a mannequin flying towards her face.
Instinctively, she rolled under the projectile, having it crash into the door. Twilight smiled at the fact that she didn’t just use her magic like she normally would. Twilight turned to see Rarity in a fighting pose and grinned.
“I see you’ve chosen a fighting style!”
“Two. And I’ve mastered them.”
Twilight thought for a moment. Rose and Pinkie both mastered two fighting styles in about two weeks or so. Rarity mastered two in about a week, and with all the time Twilight had to herself, she only learned one. Twilight shook the idea out of her head when she realized that she was fully satisfied with one style.
“So, which ones did you choose?”
“Just something to protect myself when I’m selling dresses in Baltimare or Las Pegasus. Defendu and Krav Maga.”
Krav Maga was a Hebrew phrase Twilight couldn’t translate at the moment. Defendu sounded like bad English. Who names these fighting styles?
“That’s nice.” Twilight said, looking around the boutique to see broken mannequins everywhere. “How long have you been closed?”
“Only at this time everyday.”
“What about the mess?”
“I own a vacuum, Twilight.” Rarity said wryly.
“Oh… well, we have tea in an hour.”
“Alright then Twilight.” Rarity said, extending her hoof out to Twilight.
Twilight was about to bump her hoof with Rarity’s when she was grabbed and flipped onto her back.
“Keep your guard up, Twilight.” Rarity spoke casually.
“Ehhh….” Twilight smiled.
~
Life was normal for the four masters. They did things as they normally would, and every so often they’d practice their styles for fun. However, things slowly became to get out of hoof.
Pinkie was serving cupcakes to a table by the window of sugar cube corner. Before they began to eat, Pinkie asked:
“Wanna see somethin’ cool?”
“Um…sure!” The stallion said, not really having anything else to do.
Pinkie smiled and began to do back-flips around the bakery. She flipped over the counter and retrieved food, spin-kicking the deserts into bags and onto tables leaving the pastries intact. Applause began to roar around the bakery.
Suddenly, some old bastard came creaking along the restaurant at a snail’s pace. Pinkie didn’t see him coming, and she accidentally knocked him across the room. He flew into the air, a loud gasp from the crowd seemed to demonstrate his pain. He ~~landed~~ slid across a table, knocking down every morsel on it, and came to rest in front of Nurse Redheart. She didn’t feel the need to check for a pulse, and shook her head instead.
Everypony then turned to Pinkie, her mouth agape. A police stallion stood up.
“That was Old Rickety.” He started. “No family, no job, and no friends. He never paid his taxes, and he was a menace to little fillies. Everypony in this bakery saw nothin’ today.” The stallion then rolled Old Rickety up in the table cloth he was on. “May he rest in peace, blah, blah, blah..”
Everypony went back to what the were doing. Except Pinkie, who’s mane had deflated like a basketball. There was no fun anymore. She walked up to her room to cry about it.
Meanwhile, Roseluck found herself watching the paint dry in her room. She decided she didn’t like the white walls, so she painted them green instead. While staring at the walls, she heard a knock at the door.
Roseluck looked outside the window to see a familiar face.
“Vae mihi…” Roseluck sighed. “Tax collector. I told her I’ll have ‘em by tomorrow.”
Roseluck stormed down the stairs to tell the tax collector for the 4th time this week that she’ll have the payment soon.
“Good evening, Miss Roseluck.” The tax collector said once more. It was as if Roseluck were speaking to a robot, programmed to be so happy-go-lucky. “I’ve come here to inform you-”
“-that you’ve been behind on your tax payments. Refusal to pay these taxes can result in imprisonment for up to 5 years.” Roseluck recited. “I’ll have ‘em-”
“-by tomorrow.” The tax collector retorted, her tone becoming a bit darker. She watched as Roseluck blushed beneath her cream coat. “You pay now, or there is going to be a problem.”
“I mean it this time,” Roseluck pleaded, “I’m getting my paycheck today, and it’ll be just enough for the taxes. I swear.”
“Don’t you own that damn flower shop of yours?”
“Sort of, but I can only collect money at the end of the month.”
“How much money do you rack up from selling flowers anyway?”
“More than you think.” Rose chuckled, remembering a past event.
“I doubt that. Seriously, what’s so cool about dumb old plants.”
Roseluck doubled back. Then she chuckled a bit. “I’ll show you what’s cool about dumb old plants.”
Roseluck hopped up into the air and dropkicked the tax collector in the face, and landed on her fore-hooves. The poor tax collector found herself in the street, holding her face together. Muffed screams escape her hooves.
“Oh shit.” Roseluck muttered. She searched the road for witnesses and pulled the tax collector into her house. She dragged her into the bathroom, and tried to nurse her face.
~
“Um, I’m sorry.” Roseluck said awkwardly.
The white coated mare beside Roseluck wore cotton balls in her nostrils. She also wore an angry grimace and stared at the ground.
“Can I get you some tea?” Roseluck asked, warily.
“You can take your tea to Hades.” The mare barked. “I’m going home. If you don’t have enough bits to pay your taxes, AND to compensate what you did to me, then I’m suing you for everything you own.”
“Okay.” Roseluck sighed, turning her gaze to the floor.
~
“What do you mean, ‘late’?!” Twilight roared at her young dragon assistant.
“Sorry, Twilight. By the time I got to the quill shop, it closed!”
“That’s impossible! I specifically sent you there at 8:23. If you walked straight to Quills & Sofas, it wouldn’t have closed! You’d be there at 8:26. And you’d even be back before the place closes. Why is it that it’s now 8:43 and you’re just coming back without the ink? Was there traffic?”
“No…”
“Did you get lost for some strange reason?”
“No…”
“Were you attacked by griffons?”
“Not today.”
“Then tell me what happened.”
“I um… I may have seen a sign on the road that said 75% on gems if they’re to be eaten…”
“Wha- And why would you be attracted to a sign like that? You don’t have your own money. You spent it all on a tee-shirt.”
Spike began to blush in his 'Rarity is best pony' shirt he had custom made.
“I know, but I may have possibly kind of sort of probably, but didn’t meant to, and shouldn’t have, but sadly did, by mistake used your ink money to buy some gems.”
“I’m sorry,” Twilight grabbed Spike by his claw. Usually, she did this with magic, and Twilight personally lifting Spike off the ground scared the poor dragon half to death. Spike would have never done anything like this. He had enough integrity to get the job done and to resist most things like some gems. But they were selling black opal for only seven bits. Spike couldn’t refuse. Besides, the quill shop closed anyway.
“I couldn’t really hear you. Speak up?” Twilight’s tone was cold, and she spoke through gritted teeth.
“I-I-”
“What? You what? YOU WHAT?”
“…Ah, to hay with it. I spent your ink money on some gems.” Spike said, casually.
“Why the hay would you do that?”
Spike was foolish, and forgot to choose his words wisely. “Um.. yolo?”
Twilight threw Spike up into the air and she jumped onto her forelegs, then, as Spike was coming down, she bucked him back up through the ceiling.
“Asdfghjklzmnxccz!” Spike yelled as he flew into the sky.
It took a minute for Twilight to realize what she’s done. As Spike finally returned to the ground, Twilight caught him with her magic. He shuddered.
“Spike, I-I’m sorry.” Twilight said, trying to suppress tears.
Discovering it was no use, Twilight decided to put Spike to bed.
As Spike slept,(or tried to sleep) Twilight vowed to herself never to practice her martial art in an act of rage again. Then she attempted to go to sleep.
~
“You guys quit, too?” Roseluck asked the two mares in her Flower shop.
“Yeah. I hurt Spike. I don’t think I ever want to use Martial arts again.”
“I killed somepony.”
Rose and Twilight both stared at Pinkie.
“But Pinkie,” Twilight began, “ever since the incident, you’ve killed more things than I can count on an abacus.”
“Yeah, but this pony was innocent!”
“He was a foal molester.” Rose corrected.
“How did you hear about that?” Pinkie asked, quickly.
“Lily told me. But I guess I know where your coming from I hurt a poor mare just doing her job.”
“It seems these martial arts are like an open flame.” Twilight lamented.
“Hey, what about Miss Rarity?” Roseluck asked.
“I don’t think she’d hurt anypony for no reason.” Twilight said. “She was a bit reluctant about the whole fighting thing before she saw you guys.”
“Should we tell her what happened?” Pinkie asked.
“That sounds like a good idea.” Twilight agreed. Roseluck also nodded in approval.
~
As they approached the Boutique, the three masters of martial arts saw what looked like a post war battlefield. Bodies littered the grounds around the building, and a dark and eerie aura diffused around the area.
“What the-” Twilight’s gaze caught Rarity’s silhouette in the boutique. Suddenly, a body flew out the window. It was a young mare. She tried to crawl away from the boutique, but a steel chair caught her in the head.
The three masters looked at each other and rushed into the house.
“Rarity!!”
“Oh, hi girls!” Rarity said as she chopped a stallion’s neck.
“What happened here?” Roseluck asked as she surveyed the scene.
“What? This?” Rarity pointed at the stallion on the floor. “He was staring at me from across the boutique while his wife was picking out clothes. So I took out his wife and he had the NERVE to try and walk out on me!”
“I think he was running away, Rarity.” Pinkie inferred.
“Oh what do you know?” Rarity scoffed.
“Miss Rarity-”
“That’s 'Master Rarity' to you, Miss Roseluck.”
“That’s Mestre Roseluck to you.” Pinkie defended Roseluck.
“Mestre. Okay then. You learned Portuguese?”
“Maldita direta, we did!” Roseluck exclaimed.”
“Well, then, Mestre Roseluck, would you be a dear and help me clean up these bodies?”
“Rarity, you can’t just go around and beating ponies up. That’s horrible.” Twilight said.
“I’m sure they’re fine.” Rarity said. Then everypony turned their gaze down to the stallion on the ground who began to choke up coagulated blood.
“I’m sure that’s ketchup?” Rarity explained.
“Rarity, we’ve quit our martial arts. We think you should too.” Twilight explained.
“Are you MAD?! Krav Maga became a part of who I am! And how could DARE to go on without my Defendu training? They’ve inspired a whole new clothing line for me! I call it, ‘Knock out!’”
“That’s great, Rarity, but you’ve hurt so many ponies, and we think you need to stop.” Pinkie said.
“Nonsense!” Rarity exclaimed with a maniacal tone.
“Rarity! You seriously need to stop! Twilight stopped, Rose stopped, and I stopped!”
“Why don’t you make me?” Rarity challenged with an evil pitch in her voice.
Pinkie and Rose didn’t have to specialize in seeing through ponies words and foreseeing hostility to know what Rarity meant by that. Twilight knew what she meant as well, and she feared for Rarity.
“Rarity,” Twilight said with a slight chuckle, “you don’t wanna do this. It’s three of us, and one of you.”
Rarity fluidly and slowly moved her head around to scan her three enemies.
“We’re trained in taking down multiple opponents, Miss Rarity.” Roseluck informed. “That’s more than we can say for you.”
Rarity smiled widely and raised her eyebrows to look at Pinkie, as if she were waiting for her to speak.
“Please, Rare. You don’t have to do this.” Pinkie said, reading Rarity’s body language.
“You’re right, I don’t.”
_
Rarity ran full speed towards Pinkie. Pinkie smirked a bit and shook her head. It’s always foolish to go after an opponent in their ready stance. Pinkie grabbed Rarity and used her momentum to fling her to the wall. To everypony’s surprise, Rarity caught herself by stepping on the wall, and launched herself like a torpedo towards Pinkie.
Pinkie and Rarity both flew down to the floor with a heavy thud. Rarity cocked her hoof back as far as possible to clock Pinkie, but she was too swift, and she escaped Rarity’s grasp. The effort was all in vein, though. Rarity spun around and punched Pinkie dead in the face, causing Pinkie to fly back. To recover, Pinkie performed a back hoof-spring onto her feet.
Despite that, Rarity was able to grab Pinkie’s hooves and knee Pinkie’s gut, causing her to double over, giving Rarity the chance to elbow her hard in the back of the head.
The other Capoerista in the room had seen enough. She cartwheeled towards Rarity and got into position. Rarity attempted to spear tackle Roseluck, but Rose jumped over her and stomped her on the back. With Rose now standing on Rarity’s back, Pinkie rubbed the back of her head and rolled towards the marshmallow pony.
Pinkie spun on her fore hooves and kicked Rarity’s face with her hind hooves. As painful as each kick sounded, Rarity kept a straight face. Finally, Rarity grabbed Roseluck’s leg and threw it into one of Pinkie’s blind fire kicks, Causing Roseluck to trip over, letting Rarity escape.
As Rose plummeted towards the floor, Rarity tried to finish the job with a swift buck to the head, but her plan was thwarted by a kick from Pinkie. This time, Pinkie aimed her kick right for Rarity’s legs. Before Rarity could even fall, Pinkie did one last rotation on her fore hooves and locked her hind legs around Rarity’s neck.
Rose ended up falling, but she sprung right back up and saw Pinkie holding Rarity.
“RANA?!!” Roseluck yelled in question.
“DO IT!” Pinkie permitted.
Roseluck walked backwards and galloped full speed at Rarity. She then leapt into the air and grabbed Rarity’s head with her fore hooves. From there, Pinkie let go and watched as Rose spun on Rarity like a firefighter pole, switching her grasp on Rarity from her fore to her hind legs. Finally, Roseluck threw Rarity out of her window with her momentum and landed safely next to Pinkie.
“Nice job, girls.” Twilight stated.
Before anypony could celebrate, Rarity jumped back into the boutique and socked Rose in the face. Pinkie quickly tried a spin kick, but Rarity dodged it and countered with a kick of her own.
Twilight and Rarity now looked face to face.
“This isn’t like you, Rarity.” Twilight said, sizing up her opponent.
“Are you saying I’m usually a weak, helpless mare who specializes in crying all day?”
“No, I’m saying you’ve turned into a monster. You need to stop this.” Twilight got into her fighting stance. “Now.”
Rarity laughed at Twilight hysterically.
“You learned a martial art?”
"No. I mastered one"
To answer Rarity’s question further, Twilight hop-stepped onto Rarity’s body, and kicked her square in the face. Rarity flew into a wall and fell onto her counter. Perfumes crashed onto the floor. A blast of random aromas assaulted Rarity’s nostrils, but she was used to the scents. Rarity grabbed two of the strongest perfumes and chucked them hard at Twilight.
Twilight dodged them effortlessly by cocking her head to the side, allowing the glass bottles to pass by her head and collide into a wall.
Rarity growled and stood herself up with the aid of a mannequin. Before she could get to her hooves, Twilight descended upon her like a falcon nose diving towards its prey.
Twilight socked Rarity’s face and asked her to quit. Rarity refused, and Twilight punched her harder, alternating hooves.
Soon Rarity began to laugh. Twilight didn’t let her guard down, but she was confused. Rarity head butted Twilight in the face, causing her to stumble back. With Twilight now off of her, Rarity grabbed a chair and slammed it against Twilight’s back where it broke in two.
Twilight collapsed and rolled on her side towards Roseluck and Pinkie. She tapped one of them for assistance while she recovered. Roseluck wiped the blood off her face and sprung into action.
Rarity stepped back and watched as Roseluck let out a flurry of spinning kicks and flips with no target. Rarity was confused , but she found a metal bar used to hang clothing on the ground and waited for Roseluck to stop her hurricane of pointless kicks. When Roseluck stopped spinning, Rarity swung her bar at Roseluck, only to find that Rarity had become dizzy.
While watching Roseluck spin about, Rarity actually felt really disoriented. Roseluck ceased this opportunity to put the fisticuffs on her. She stopped rocking side to side like she taught herself to do in Capoeria and switched into an orthodox boxing stance. Rose gave Rarity a left jab, a right hook, a left hook, an uppercut and a heavy double punch to the jaw.
Rarity stumbled back into a wall. To her left, she spotted a lamp where the light bulb had shattered. Small sparks flew from it. Rarity ran towards her kitchen about a meter away with Roseluck chasing after and found a pot of hot water that was being used for tea. As Roseluck approached, Rarity splashed its contents towards Roseluck, although she anticipated this and dodged it.
Rarity tried to escape, but Rose disarmed Rarity’s pan and tried to clock her in the head with it. Rarity dodged it flawlessly and kicked Roseluck into the lamp. The water from before had found a placed right under the lamp and pooled by the electrical outlet. Roseluck slipped on the puddle and brought the lamp down into the puddle with her.
Twilight’s back pain had healed slightly and Pinkie also felt well. They were startled by the sound of Roseluck screaming and a loud buzz.
“Rose?!” Pinkie called out.
“Oh no!” Twilight got up and ran towards the source of the scream.
As they entered the room, Rarity jump kicked Pinkie’s face. Twilight tried to help Pinkie out, only to be punched in the throat.
Roseluck’s screams turned into gargling sounds, and the buzzing stopped.
“Mommy?” Roseluck choked out.
“Wut?” Rarity asked.
“Bacon for breakfast?”
“What are you even-” Rarity was then doubled teamed by Twilight and Pinkie.
Pinkie tried to give Rarity a right hook with her boxing, but Rarity parried it and threw about a dozen punches to Pinkie’s weak spots, finally kicking her aside.
Twilight spun kicked Rarity’s head, and pushed her towards pinkies body. Rarity tripped on her and fell back. Rarity stood back up easily, but Twilight did a flying kick to her chest. Rarity once again flew out of the window.
Twilight walked over to Roseluck who was still talking nonsense about breakfast meals that smelled like charred flesh. Twilight had to slap the sense back into her.
“Rose, are you okay?”
“I smell food.”
“That’s your flank.”
“What..”
“Rarity electrocuted you.”
“That sucks.”
“Can you go on?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Roseluck stood up and helped Pinkie up.
Rarity jumped back inside the boutique and cantered towards the other girls. Pinkie and Rose readied themselves, but Twilight was the one who was power kicked down a flight of stairs. Twilight tumbled down each stepped for what felt like forever. At the bottom of the stair, she hit a wall, and a vase collapsed on her head, knocking her out.
The battled continued on until nearly midnight. Roseluck and Pinkie would try to knock Rarity about and ended up failing each time. Twilight eventually came to and tried to also fight back, but it was no use. Rarity was too good.
Finally, Roseluck slipped on a puddle of her own blood and passed out. The adrenaline in Pinkie’s body was so abundant, Pinkie blacked out, but was able to walk a few steps in her unconsciousness before collapsing. Twilight found herself vomiting in Rarity’s toilet. Rarity came up behind her and bashed the lid on her head until she blacked out.
“Well…” Rarity concluded as she walked into room. “that was thrilling.”
Rarity began to laugh when she was struck hard on the head. She fell over onto her bed where she lay.
The attacker dropped the weapon onto the ground and sighed.
“I sure hope Rarity doesn’t hate me for this, and I really hope Twilight still isn’t mad about the opal.”
The next morning, Rarity woke up in a hospital bed. Her eyes struggled to stay open.
“What’s happened here?” Rarity asked weakly.
Nurse Redheart appeared from another room with a clipboard.
“Ah. You’re awake.” Redheart smiled.
“Did I get hurt?”
“Yes. You did. You also have a case of amnesia.”
Rarity’s eyes widened.
“What day is it? What year is it?” She asked franticly.
“Calm down.” Redheart demanded calmly. “You were only out for a few hours.”
Rarity let out a sigh of relief. “How did I get hurt?”
“You’re friends told me not to tell you.”
Rarity started to feel a bit uncomfortable. “Don’t you think that’s a bit strange?”
“Well, no. They’re in the beds right next to you.” Redheart pulled back the curtains to show Pinkie getting stitches.
“What happened to them?!”
Redheart repeated herself. “It’s better that you don’t know.”
The next Wednesday, Rarity and Twilight trotted over to Sugar Cube corner to retrieve Pinkie. When they got there, they saw Pinkie and Roseluck dancing in the bakery. Pinkie throwing Rose a flurry of kicks, and Roseluck flipping over them.
“What are they doing?” Rarity asked. “I’d like to try.”
They both stopped and looked at Rarity wearing expressionless faces.
“Extreme yoga.” Twilight stated flatly.
