That's Not How Mailboxes Work

by AndwhatIseeisme

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Fetish, Comedy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Porn
Length: 4315

Zippi and Zew come across their friend, Paperclip, in an odd bind. They attempt to help her with copious amounts of filly sex.

Paperclip was simply trying to get through the last of her delivery rounds for the day. She's not sure how she ended up in the predicament that she suddenly finds herself in, but at least she has two close friends around to help her find a solution. Right?

Warnings: Foalcon, lesbian filly sex, toys, OCs, a filly stuck in a compromising position, implied incest, questionable problem solving skills.

A (very) belated birthday present for Deus Foalt. All characters contained within are their creations.

Edited by LilSlipsy
Cover art by HeshieokFasla, cropped for safety.

Based on two NSFW pictures by HeshieokFasla, which I certainly can't link here so instead have some totally arbitrary numbers that in no way relate to anything on a website called Derpibooru: 2405326, 2405333

Published 2022-02-20 18:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-20 18:50:00 UTC

Fillies Find Fun Freeing Friend From Flummoxing Fix

The afternoon sun shone warmly down on twin fillies as they attempted to make sense of what they were looking at in their front yard. Zippi and Zew stared in confusion and mild wonder as they tried to make sense of what course of events led to this current predicament. Paperclip whined pitifully as she tried to free herself, pleading for help as the sisters watched.

"How... how did this even happen, Paperclip?" Zew asked in disbelief.

"I don't know!" Paperclip moaned. "I was running behind on my mail deliveries, so I was flying at top speed. I guess I accidentally crashed into your mailbox, and now I'm stuck! Can you two please stop staring and just help me get out?"

"Yeah, but like, how?" Zippi asked, echoing her sister's curiosity. "I mean, just look atcha. Yer head's bigger than the mailbox. How'd ya manage to fly into it, just for the rest of ya to get stuck? Like, you've even still got your hat on. How? It makes no sense."

"Yes, that is a mystery. But even more curious is the fact that our mailbox, like any mailbox, had a door flap and a back wall. It isn't as if it was just a hollow tube sitting on a post. And yet, now they both seem to have disappeared just so you could be stuck there," Zew elaborated.

"That's true!" Zippi excitedly proclaimed. "This whole thing makes zero sense at all. Though, there is something kinda familiar about it..."

"Who cares how it happened, you guys? Just get me out of here!" Paperclip begged, resuming her wriggling as she tried to free herself from the conveniently designed mailbox.

Zew trotted slowly around the post, studying the trapped mail-filly's problem and straining her brain to come up with a solution. She poked and prodded Paperclip tenderly with a forehoof as she attempted to discern a solution to freeing her. Eventually, she stopped in front of her friend and shook her head.

"Oh dear. I'm sorry, Paperclip, but you seem to be well and truly stuck in there. It almost seems as if the metal has compressed around your body to trap you," Zew explained. "It all seems quite impossible, and yet, here we are. You really have me stumped."

"But, but you're unicorns, right? Can't you just, I don't know, magic me out of here?" Paperclip begged. "Or maybe get your mom or somepony else to help?"

Zew sadly shook her head at her friend's request. "Neither of us know any spells to disappear a mailbox, Clippy," Zew explained. "And mom's already started making dinner by now, probably. We should try to figure this out for ourselves before bothering her."

"But–!" Paperclip protested.

"Wait! I've got it!" Zippi shouted suddenly, cutting Paperclip off in the process. "I know where I've seen something like this before!"

"Oh?" Zew wondered. "Good job, Zippi. Where was it?"

"Come on, Zew, you're supposed to be the smart one. Think about it," Zippi teased her twin, savoring the fact that she managed to figure out something before the other filly. "Just look at this whole thing. A cute, young filly stuck in a small space and at the mercy of anypony who walks by? Come on, isn't it obvious?"

"I... wait, surely you don't mean..." Zew hesitated as she put the pieces together. Zippi nodded excitedly.

"What is it, guys? Tell me," Paperclip pleaded as hung limply from her prison.

"I think you might be correct, Zippi," Zew acknowledged. "This does seem like a very common scenario now that I look at it from that perspective."

"I know, right?" Zippi said proudly. "It's actually kinda obvious once ya look at it, it's just so dumb we were both missing it."

"What? What is?" Paperclip continued to ask.

"Well, um, Paperclip... this is fairly obviously a pornographic scenario," Zew explained.

"A... what?" asked Paperclip.

"Yep, it's totally something straight out of a porn flick," Zippi echoed. "Which makes the solution pretty obvious, right sis?"

"Oh yes, perfectly clear," Zew agreed. "I'm a little embarrassed I didn't see it earlier, given how obvious it all seems now."

"What... what is it? Tell me!" Paperclip begged.

"Well, from what we've seen from all the porn we've watched," Zew started.

"Which is a whole bunch!" Zippi cheerfully added.

"Um, yes. Indeed. Anyway, from what we've seen of this scenario being played out, my best guess for getting you out would be, to... well," Zew continued to explain.

"We've gotta fuck ya free!" Zippi excitedly finished her sister's thought.

“What?" Paperclip asked as her eyes went wide upon hearing Zippi's solution, only to be immediately silenced by Zew's lips pressing against hers.

Paperclip was so surprised by the unicorn's kiss that she offered no resistance when Zew's tongue pushed its way into her mouth. The pegasus moaned softly as the invader explored her mouth and swirled around her own tongue. Her head was spinning, and she had stopped fighting against her restraint as an unfamiliar feeling of warmth began to build inside of her, distracting Paperclip from everything else around her.

"Hey, Clippy," Zippi's voice suddenly dragged her back to the present. "Ya mind hiking your tail up a bit? I wanna get a taste of ya, but I don't wanna get a mouthful of hair doing it."

"Wh-what?" Paperclip pulled her mouth away from Zew's to ask. "A taste of me? What do you-?"

"Shh..." Zew shushed her, putting a hoof gently to her mouth. "Don't worry, Paperclip, we're just trying to help you get free. I promise we aren't going to do anything bad, so just trust us. Okay?"

"Well... alright," Paperclip agreed after considering her options. Zippi and Zew were her friends, after all. She had no reason not to trust them. "Like this, Zippi?" she asked, raising her tail up as high as she could, exposing her tight slit to her friend.

"Perfect," Zippi stated, mouth watering slightly at the sight of her friend's pussy. "Just relax and enjoy yourself. We'll have you outta there in no time."

"O-okay," Paperclip stammered, still a bit nervous about what the sisters had planned. Any further concerns were silenced though, as Zew reclaimed her lips.

While her sister made out with their friend, Zippi's eyes remained focused on her prize. Paperclip's tight little puss was starting to dampen as the kissing continued. Zippi inched closer to it, watching the filly's clit wink as her arousal increased. She licked her lips as Paperclip's scent hit her nostrils. She couldn't wait to get a taste of the mail-filly.

Extending her tongue, Zippi took the first eager lap against Paperclip's outer lips. The mail-filly's entire body tensed as the sensation hit her, but immediately relaxed as she gave into the feelings of pleasure that Zippi was providing. Zew pulled away from the kiss, a thin strand of saliva still connecting the two fillies' mouths. She smiled knowingly as she watched Paperclip's face, knowing full well the sort of pleasure the filly was experiencing from her sister's skilled tongue work.

Zew gently stroked Paperclip's face with a hoof, caressing her friend as Zippi did her work. "How does it feel?" Zew asked. "Zippi's really good at eating mares out, isn't she?"

Paperclip didn't respond with words, but the intense moans and squeaks were enough to answer the question. Zew smiled and looked around the mailbox to address her sister.

"Keep it up, Zippi!" she instructed. "I think Paperclip's close. We'll have her out of this mailbox in no time."

Zippi pulled her face away from the wet cunny in front of her for a moment, her muzzle dripping with the other filly's arousal. "You got it, sis! Ya got to try her out later, though. She tastes amazing!" Zippi stated, before returning to her feast.

Zippi drove her tongue deep inside of Paperclip, savoring the taste of her damp arousal. Paperclip's walls clamped down around the invading muscle inside of her. Zippi wriggled around inside of her, exploring the depths of the young filly's pussy. She brought a hoof up to play with the little clit winking out, earning another sharp shriek for her efforts.

"Zippi... I... I," Paperclip panted, trying to piece together her thoughts through the waves of ecstasy she was feeling. "S-something feels... feels... my tummy feels weird."

Zew kissed her gently on the forehead and stroked her mane reassuringly. "It's alright, Paperclip. That feeling is what naturally happens when another pony makes you feel really good," she explained. "Don't fight it, just relax and let it flow through you."

"O-okay," Paperclip moaned as Zippi continued to eat her out.

Paperclip's moans grew louder and more intense as Zippi continued to lick her and tease her clit. Zew kissed her again while Zippi did her best to push the filly over the edge.

"Ah..ah..ah.. Zippi!" Paperclip cried out as her first orgasm coursed through her. Zippi suddenly found her mouth flooding with the little filly's cum, eagerly drinking it down as Paperclip came. She pulled her face away with one last, wet slurp before joining Zew beside the mailbox. The sisters eagerly watched and waited for their friend to pop free.

Zippi and Zew looked on eagerly as Paperclip's body wriggled and drooled in orgasmic bliss. Any moment now, she'd pop out of her confines and all would be solved. Paperclip's limbs slackened as she hung limply, exhausted from her climax. Yep. Any moment now, she'd be free of that mailbox. The trapped filly weakly lifted her head to look pleadingly at the sisters, as if asking them 'what now'?

Any.

Moment.

"It's not working," Zew observed, as the three fillies awkwardly stared at one another.

"It's gotta work. It always does in the pornos," Zippi insisted.

"Guys... can, can you go get your mom now?" Paperclip begged. "I'd really like to get out of here."

"Well, what did we do wrong, then?" Zew asked her sister, attempting to work through the problem to figure out what the issue was.

"Maybe we didn't fuck her hard enough?" Zippi suggested.

"I'm getting sort of hungry over here. Could you at least get me a sandwich?" Paperclip tried to interrupt, resigning herself to probably being stuck there for a while.

"What do you mean we didn't fuck her hard enough?" questioned Zew. "She seemed to cum pretty hard just a minute ago."

"Yeah, but think about it," Zippi replied. "Most porn with the stuck mares, they end up screwing 'em pretty hard, ya know?" she explained. "Maybe eating her out isn't enough. We might need something more."

"Ah, so you're saying we need to actually initiate penetrative fornication with her if we want to release her," Zew mused.

"Maybe?" Zippi replied, struggling to work through her sister's suggestion. "I'm saying we need to get some toys and pound her 'till she screams."

"Right, that's what I said," Zew stated with a nod.

"Can I have a towel, at least?" Paperclip continued to ask, unable to hear the twins' conspiring. "I'm kind of damp under my tail, and it feels kind of icky."

"Think ya can pop me back to our room real quick?" Zippi asked her sister.

"Okay, but you'll have to come back on your own," Zew responded. "Do try to hurry."

Zippi mockingly saluted her sister as Zew pulled out her wand and used it to focus a teleportation spell. In a flash, Zippi disappeared from view to gather up some gear for round two of freeing Paperclip. Zew cheerfully turned back to the stuck filly in her mailbox, only to find Paperclip glaring at her.

"What's wrong, Paperclip?" Zew asked, confused at the angry look she was receiving.

"You can use teleportation magic," Paperclip flatly stated.

Zew beamed with pride. "Yeah! Neat, isn't it? I've only just started to get a handle on it, and I still need to use my wand as a focus for the magic, but it's some pretty high level magic for a filly of my age to be able to use at all," she explained. "Impressive, huh?"

"Zew!" Paperclip shouted in frustration. "If you can do that, why can't you just teleport me out of this mailbox?"

"Paperclip!" Zew gasped. "How can you even suggest that!?" she demanded, scandalized at the filly's suggestion. "I know you want to get out of there, but I can't believe you're asking me to break the law to do it."

"Wait, what?" Paperclip asked, confused.

Zew rolled her eyes. "Come on Paperclip, you're a mail-filly. You should know this," she lectured. "Equestrian Postal Code title 18 chapter 83 section 1737."

"No unicorn shall make use of magic to alter, remove, or otherwise tamper with any mail placed in a registered mail receptacle by a lawful agent of the Equestrian Postal Service," Paperclip recited.

"Exactly," Zew affirmed with a nod. "I can't teleport you out of there without breaking the law."

"But-" Paperclip tried to protest, but Zew only shook her head.

"That mailbox is registered as ours, and you are a licensed deliverer of mail," Zew explained. "Ergo, the law applies, even if the mail you delivered was yourself. Sorry, Clippy, but I think our only option is still to fuck you out of there."

"Are we sure that's our only option?" Paperclip asked.

"Oh! Speaking of, here comes Zippi now," Zew exclaimed, ignoring Paperclip's question. Zippi was galloping back to them, carrying a box of assorted toys on her back. She stopped next to the mailbox and smiled at her sister and Paperclip.

"I'm back," Zippi proclaimed, dropping the box next to herself. "Hope I didn't keep ya waiting too long."

"Actually, I'm worried that Paperclip is getting pretty desperate to be released," Zew responded with concern. "I won't repeat what she was suggesting while you were away, but suffice to say that it was very concerning," she explained, before leaning in towards her sister and whispering, "not to mention illegal."

"Really?" Zippi asked, her brow furrowing with concern. "Geez, sorry I took so long getting back, Clippy. It's hard to even imagine you of all ponies suggesting we break a law. Lucky for you, I have just the thing to solve your problem!"

"Really?" Paperclip asked hopefully.

"Yep! Here we go," Zippi said, before digging a ball gag out of the toy box and fitting it onto her friend. "There! Now you won't have ta worry 'bout saying anything bad anymore."

"Mmmf?!" Paperclip's muffled voice protested.

"How's the fit? Not too tight, is it?" Zippi asked.

"Mmmfffplmmmffnnmmee," Paperclip said.

"Perfect!" Zippi declared.

Meanwhile, Zew had been digging through the assortment of various dildos to select one that would properly stuff a filly of Paperclip's size. Having made her selection, she began to strap it on to a harness so one of the sister's could wear it and provide the filly with a proper rutting. There was just one last decision to be made.

"So, how do you think we should do this," Zew asked her sister as she finished assembling the strap-on.

"Whaddaya mean?" Zippi asked as she casually stroked a hoof up and down Paperclip's cunny. "I'd think we've done this enough that I ain't gotta explain the details to ya, sis.”

Zew rolled her eyes. "I'm familiar with the mechanics, yes. What I mean, Zippi, is that she's a little high up, what with the mailbox post and all. It's going to make fornication a bit difficult," Zew explained. "Unless, of course, we work together to get her rutted right."

"Yeah, I guess I see yer point," Zippi admitted, assessing the situation. "Sounds like ya've got a plan, though. So, let's hear it."

"Alright. I figure if you lay down on the ground behind the mailbox, then I can stand on your barrel and mount Paperclip from an ideal angle.”

"Hey! Why do I have to be the one getting stood on while you have all the fun?" Zippi asked. "How 'bout you lay down and I fuck Paperclip on top of ya?"

Zew shook her head."I'm afraid that won't work as well, Zippi," Zew answered. "I'm not built as solidly as you are, and don't think I'd be able to support your weight while you fucked her."

"Well, I guess. You do got a bit more flab than me, sis.”

"Not exactly how I'd put it, but I'm willing to ignore that comment so long as you agree to my plan," Zew said, glaring slightly at her sister. "Besides, some ponies are attracted to a mare with a little more meat on her flank.”

"If ya say so," Zippi muttered, before moving behind Paperclip and laying down. "Fine, let's do this then. But try not to move your hooves too much, okay?"

"I'll do my best," Zew agreed as she strapped the harness around her flank. "I'll try to keep most of my weight leaning on the mailbox, too. Just-”

"Just try to hurry it up, will ya?" Zippi asked. "Besides, the sooner you finish up, the sooner we get Paperclip outta there."

"Right!" Zew nodded as she climbed into position. Standing atop her sister's back, she was just the right height to line up with Paperclip's damp slit. She leaned over the mailbox and kissed Paperclip gently on the head as she pushed the dildo's head against her lower lips. "Are you ready to take me, Paperclip?"

"MMMFF!" a very concerned Paperclip responded.

"I assume that's a yes," Zew said. "Let's get going, then. I'll be sure to give you a proper rutting, just like the porn videos show. That'll be sure to get you out of here!"

After adjusting her hooves to make sure she was standing firmly on Zippi without causing her sister too much discomfort, Zew began to push herself inside of Paperclip. The filly was tight, and hugged the toy much more securely than her sister's pussy ever did, but Zew was determined to give her friend a proper rut.

"Wow! You're so tight, Clippy," Zew complimented as she strained to push the whole length of her dildo inside the box of the filly in the box. Paperclip could only moan in response as she tried to process the strange feeling of fullness invading her.

Pushing her hips forward with as much strength as she could imagine, Zew was finally able to push the entire length into Paperclip's increasingly wet pussy. She paused for a moment, letting her friend adjust to the girth inside of her. Once she was satisfied that Paperclip could handle the next step, Zew began to pull back from the filly. When the tip of the dildo was only just remaining inside her, Zew slammed herself forward again, earning a squeak right from Paperclip’s soul. Zew wasted no time, thrusting in and out of the filly as quickly as she could. The wet plapping sound of their sex filled the yard as both fillies moaned and grunted throughout.

"Keep it up, sis!" Zippi cheered as she did her best to keep steady beneath Zew's hooves. "Keep fucking her like that and we'll have her outta there in no time!"

Zew barely heard her sister as she focused all her attention and energy on pounding Paperclip's pony pussy. Faster and faster she went, feeling her friend's juices flowing down the length of the dildo and onto her own thighs, mixing with her own increasing arousal. Zew could feel Paperclip's walls tightening, and heard her breathing getting faster. Figuring that her friend was about to climax, Zew redoubled her efforts in order to get her off. Thrusting the dildo harder and faster into the filly, Zew threw all her energy behind pushing her friend over the edge.

Beneath her, Zippi was struggling to keep shifting her body to keep Zew's hooves steady. It wasn't easy to do, with how recklessly Zew kept throwing her entire weight behind each thrust. But if anypony was up to the challenge of supporting her sister through a rough fucking, it was Zippi. Still, she hoped Zew would be finishing up soon. It was almost dinnertime, after all.

Deciding that she should try and speed this whole thing up a bit, Zippi ignited her horn and focused her telepathy on Paperclip’s love button. She gently pinched and massaged the little pearl in order to assist her sister in getting the poor mail-filly to cum before their mom started yelling at them to come back inside. Couldn't be much longer now.

"MFFFAAAA!" Paperclip cried out as she came around the dildo inside of her. Zew had slammed the toy into her one last time and sent her over the edge. Now a gush of filly juice shot out of her and all over Zew and Zippi. Her head lulled forward after her climax

Having succeeded in making her friend cum, Zew pulled out of the filly to allow her to be released from the mailbox. Unfortunately, she ended up yanking the toy out with a little too much enthusiasm, and quickly found herself tumbling backwards and towards the ground. She hit the ground with a thud, ending up slightly dazed as Zippi quickly stood up and ran over to her.

"Are you alright, Zew?" Zippi asked with concern, staring down at her sister.

Zew stared up at her sister's worried face, taking a moment to process what had happened and why she was suddenly on her back. "Yeah, I think so. Probably going to have a pretty nasty bump on my head later, but I think I'm fine," she assessed. "More importantly, did it work? Did we get Paperclip free?"

The sisters turned their attention back to their friend, who despite their best efforts was still hanging limply from the mailbox. Paperclip turned her head back as far as she could and stared pitifully back at her friends.

"Guess not," Zippi stated.

"Huh. I thought for sure that would work," Zew said. "Maybe we need an actual stallion to fuck her?" she suggested.

Zippi shrugged. "Maybe," she conceded. "Guess it's worth a shot, but not right now. It's almost dinnertime, and mom'll be mad if we're late for it."

"True," Zew agreed. "Guess we should head back in to eat, and then after dinner we can see if we can find a few stallions willing to help out."

"What about Clippy, though?" Zippi asked. "Seems kinda mean to just leave her like this."

Paperclip nodded in agreement.

"You're right. She's sure to get lonely out here waiting for us to get back," Zew mused. "We should make sure she has something to keep her busy while we're eating."

"Right," Zippi agreed. "Let's see what we've got in the toy-box to entertain her."

"Mmmf?" Paperclip tried to ask.

Zippi ruffled through the box and came out holding a buttplug with a wire and dial dangling from it.

"How about this?" she asked Zew.

"Yeah, I bet she'll love that," Zew stated. "Oh! How about I cast a vibration spell on our wands and leave them inside her as well?"

"Sounds good to me," Zippi said. "That'll be sure to keep her feeling good until we get back."

While Zew went to work casting her spells and inserting the wands and plug into Paperclip's butt and pussy, Zippi moved to her front and did her best to comfort the filly.

"Sorry, Paperclip, we've got to head inside for a while," Zippi explained. Paperclip did her best to listen as she felt various things being stuffed inside various orifices. "But I promise, soon as dinner's over, we'll be back and we'll find as many stallions to fuck ya as it takes to gettcha free!"

"MMF?" Paperclip questioned.

"Alright, that should do it," Zew interrupted as she admired the view. Two wands stuck out of Paperclip's pussy, humming away as they vibrated inside her. Inside her anus, the plug was buried deeply inside and the attached remote was cranked up to full power. Feeling the sight was missing something, Zew quickly grabbed a scrap of paper from the box and scribbled a note and taped it to Paperclip's flank. "There you go, a little personal touch."

"Love, Zippi and Zew," Zippi read aloud. "Seems a bit sappy, but I guess it's a good look for her. Anyway, let's get going."

"Alright, Paperclip," Zew said as Zippi began running back inside. "We'll be back in a bit. Don't go anywhere while we're away," she joked, before hurrying away to follow her sister.

“Oh, and don’t worry ‘bout cumming and pushing those wands out while we’re gone,” Zippi reassured her. “Mom made ‘em so that ya can’t cum while they’re inside ya. They’ll just keep making ya feel better and better until we’re back!”

Paperclip blushed as she was left alone to the sensations buzzing away inside her. Sometimes being a mail-filly was a tough job. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of Luna's night could stay a courier like her from the swift completion of her appointed rounds. But two horny filly friends? No mailpony could hope to compete with that. Surely they'd get her out of here eventually though, right?

She sighed as she resigned herself to being stuck in here for a while. Oh well. At least whatever they were doing to her was feeling pretty good so far.

She could still use that towel, though.

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay, Deus. Hope you enjoyed this fic. Same for everyone else who read it. All characters are the creations of author Deus Foalt, and you can find more stories of these fillies having sexy adventures over on their page.

Can you believe it's been almost three whole months since I've written pony sex? Well, I'm back and hopefully will have a bit more time for horse lewds now that winter has passed. The clop must flow!