I'm Getting Nuttin For Hearths Warming

by Piemaster128

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Flash Sentry, Twilight Sparkle, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Tempest Shadow
Length: 2837

As Flash enjoys the Holidays with his family, his oldest daughter decides to create a song revolving around the hilarious chaos she has caused the previous year.

As Flash Sentry and Twilight Sparkle enjoy the fun chaos that comes with the holiday season, their oldest daughter decides to surprise them with a special song. One that celebrates all of the various shenanigans that she has gotten up to in the last year. Because what could be more fun than an adorable filly singing about all the silly chaos she has caused?

A slightly late Christmas Special based on the song of the same name. A cannon part of the 'How To...' Universe.

Published 2022-01-11 20:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-01-11 20:00:01 UTC

A Silly Song for the Holiday Season

Hearth’s Warming Eve had arrived once again. And, as always, Flash was both delighted and exhausted in equal measure. Decorating the castle and watching Dawn and Soothing’s faces light up brighter than the tree when the snow started to fall? Amazing. Recasting temperature regulations spells on every suit of armor, including the backup pieces, and dealing with whatever crisis decided to crop up around the holidays? Decidedly less amazing, thank you very much.

And of course, it didn’t help that his daughters, Twilight, and Tempest all tended to be magnets for trouble, especially around the holidays. Tempest was probably the worst offender of them all, oddly enough. Every crisis she stopped or situation involving Dawn and Soothing she handled without stressing him out was matched by a snow-based prank or by her actively helping his crazy little girls with whatever crazy shenanigan they had thought up this time.

At least she always made sure his daughters were safe, such as saving them when their two-story snow fort collapsed and nearly buried them. Her looking out for them made him more willing to forgive her crazy pranks, even if just yesterday he and Twilight had ended up buried under about five hundred mistletoes when one of their plans had gone sideways. Well, more like sideways, then upside down, then carried off by Soothing’s ice wolf Snowflake and buried somewhere around the castle.

But he wouldn’t trade this time with his family for anything. Especially as he did have a good excuse to kiss Twilight five hundred times after that little prank. They were imperfectly perfect, as Tempest would say, and he was glad they got so much time together over the holidays.

And despite his wish for slightly less aggressive chaos, Flash did love to see all the things Dawn and Soothing would create in the month leading up to Hearth’s Warming and all the fun memories they would make. Dawn had started out as a crayon artist, drawing everything from Santa Hooves to Tempest trapped in a snowpony, but had recently graduated to collages covered in glitter and amazing paintings. In fact, her most recent painting had been a wonderful masterpiece of her and Soothing reading under Twilight’s wing as the three of them sat in front of a beautifully detailed tree and a roaring fireplace. It had taken her weeks to complete and there had been at least one mistake frisbeed out an open window, but the final product had become one of her proudest accomplishments and Flash had been sure to hang it in the entryway for all the visiting guests to see.

Soothing, on the other hoof, had spent a good portion of the year working on her magic in preparation for the holidays, improving her skills at manipulating snow in just the right ways so that it would behave exactly the way she wanted it to. Once the first snow had begun to fall, she had immediately spent hours outside, working to create perfect replica of their entire family. Flash had to carry her back inside twice to warm up from the cold, but soon the snow versions of herself, her sister, Twilight, Flash, and Tempest were all waiting outside the castle, ready to greet everyone who came by. Dawn had even helped make them more perfect by delicately etching the grown-up’s cutie marks on the sculptures with a twig. Soothing had been so excited when her sister had finished that she used an icicle to etch a Christmas tree cutie mark on the Snow-Dawn and Snow-Soothing, a perfect pair of matching stand-in cutie marks until the day that they both earned their real ones.

Flash loved both of them so much, and seeing them put so much time and effort into such wonderful and creative projects made him smile every time. To see their spirit and heart come through in their creations. Both their work never failed to make the castle all the more festive, while simultaneously helping to keep them out of trouble.

Save for, of course, when Flash rounded a corner and found a hallway covered in a mix of glitter and snow. How those two managed to get so much glitter into the chandelier he would never know.

But in addition to her painting, Dawn had a special surprise for the rest of the family as well.

She had gathered them all in the family room deep within the castle and had enlisted Tempest (aka, Aunt Sparky) to help set up a small stage with curtains. Flash, Tempest, Twilight, and Soothing were currently snuggling on the couch Tempest had brought it. Twilight was in the center of the impromptu pony-pile, with Flash snuggling under her right wing, Tempest taking up the space under her left wing, and Soothing happily nestled between her mommy’s forelegs. Everypony was comfortable and ready for the show.

“Any idea what Dawn has planned?” Twilight asked, pulling Flash from his thoughts.

“Nope,” Flash said with grin. “But I’m sure it will be both adorable and entertaining. And if it’s another song, we may or may not have it stuck in our heads for the next month or so,” he said, earning a giggle from Twilight.

“That’s what makes her songs so fun though!” Soothing piped up, her horn sparking excitedly as she bounced in place.

“GAH, I HOPE IT STARTS SOOOOOON! I WANNA SEE THE SURPRISE! HURRY UP DAWN!”

“Don’t rush her,” Tempest said as she playfully rested her head on top of Soothing’s. “Besides, I’m sure her little performance will start...right…about…pause for effect…now!”

And sure enough, the curtain opened, meaning that it was time to see just what chaos Dawn had wrought.

“WELCOME, ONE AND ALL!” Dawn exclaimed as she spun onto the stage with an enthusiastic twirl, her horn popping with happy sparks of magic.

Soothing’s little mouth dropped open at the display of light, and Dawn winked at her sister and set off one last burst of red, green, and gold. Soothing squealed with delight and clapped her hooves excitedly, which made Flash, Tempest, and Twilight giggle as they clapped as well (much calmer, but no less happy, of course!)

“Thank you, thank you!” Dawn said, bowing dramatically (as dramatically as a ten-year-old filly in a Santa Hooves hat could be, at least). “Tonight, I shall treat you all to a brand new song I made to celebrate all the silly things that happened this year!”

Uh oh, Flash thought, a parental alarm bell ringing in his mind. He glanced at Twilight, her worried look indicating that she was having the same thought as he was. They both knew that Dawn suffered from some of the same anxiety Twilight did, and that sometimes she wouldn’t talk about it until it started to affect her behavior. This may be a problem.

“And now may I present the main song for tonight:” Dawn continued, unaware of her parent’s concern. “I’m Getting Nuttin’ for Hearth’s Warming!”

“Dawn—” Twilight tried to interject, only for Tempest to cover her mouth with a hoof.

“Let her have her fun,” Tempest said with a calm smile. “I had some time to talk with her, and I promise she doesn’t actually think she’s getting nothing this year.”

Hearing that helped Flash relax a bit. If Tempest had noticed Dawn’s anxiety before he and Twilight did, then chances were the issue had already been resolved.

Flash felt Twilight relax a bit as well, just in time for a nearby gramophone began to play a slightly derpy tune and Dawn launched into song.

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Hearth’s Warming

“Dawn, not even you waking me up with a pair of cymbals that one time could get you in that much trouble.” Flash said jokingly, earning a giggle from Tempest and Soothing.

Mommy and Daddy are mad

“We could never be that mad at you, sweetie, even if you did burry us is mistletoe yesterday,” Twilight said, picking up on Flash’s playful tone and doing her best to match it.

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Hearth’s Warming

“Dawn is silly,” Soothing giggled. Flash nodded in agreement and gave Soothing a quick kiss on the head.

'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

I broke my bat on Aunt Sparky's head
Somepony snitched on me

“That was more my fault for standing too close behind you,” Tempest quipped.

My froggy friend climbed into Daddy’s bed
Somepony snitched on me

“Not the worst wakeup call I’ve ever had, even discounting the trombone,” Flash said, giving a half-glare at Tempest, who stuck her tongue out playfully.

I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug

“Your mom’s done that plenty of times on her own,” Tempest said, earning a playful wingslap from Twilight and a laugh from Flash.

I turned Soothing into a bug

“That was fun though!” Soothing said, nearly causing Dawn to lose her rhythm as they both giggled.

Spilled some hot sauce in Flurry’s mug

Somepony snitched on me

“I know what that’s like,” Twilight said with a shudder, likely remembering her first night in Ponyville.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Hearth’s Warming
Mommy and Daddy are mad
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Hearth’s Warming
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

I left a tack on daddy’s chair
Somepony snitched on me

“This is why we no longer allow arts and crafts at the kitchen table, at least if they involve sharp objects,” Flash said, wincing a little at the memory.

I tied a knot in Soothing's mane
Somepony snitched on me

“I remember doing the same thing with Cadence when I tried to braid her mane when I was your age,” Twilight said with a giggle.
“And you made my hair look cool!” Soothing piped up.

I ate some of Mommy's plants

“To be fair, they are really tasty flowers,” Tempest said, earning a playful glare from Twilight.

Climbed a tree and tore my pants

“Why were you wearing your art clothes in the tree anyway? Were you trying to paint upside-down again?” Flash asked, remembering the protective clothes that Dawn would wear during art time to stop her from getting paint in her fur.

Filled Aunt Sparky’s armor with ants
Somepony snitched on me

“That was more me catching your ant farm upside-down rather than an intentional prank,” Tempest quipped again.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Hearth’s Warming
Mommy and Daddy are mad
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Hearth’s Warming
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

I hit Aunt Luna in the face with a pie

Somepony snitched on me

“That was a pretty entertaining magic surge you had. And you mom once hit her with a plate of pancakes,” Flash said, grinning at the memory.

I turned Aunt Celestia’s coat green

Somepony snitched on me

“That was funny! And she even did it again for the Gala!” Soothing chirped.

I struck Uncle Shining with a lightning bolt

“I’m pretty sure a static electricity spell to make his coat all poofy doesn’t count as a lightning bolt,” Tempest said. “And he kind of earned that one for zapping your nose so many times,” she chuckled earning a playful eyeroll from Twilight.

Called that mean noble a dolt

“My mom was proud of you for that, even if you shouldn’t do it again. No matter how much he deserved it,” Flash said, giving Tempest a quick hoof-bump as Twilight rolled her eyes.

Accidentally turned Soothing into a colt

Somepony snitched on me

“That was pretty weird, but still fun!” Soothing agreed.

So you better be good, whatever you do
'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you
You'll get nuttin' for Hearth’s Warming

As the music tapered off, Dawn ended her song with a more few pops from her horn and bowed to her audience. Soothing and Tempest immediately cheered and clapped their hooves, Flash and Twilight joining in with more slightly subdued clapping. It was a funny song, and just thinking about how chaotic this last year had been made Flash chuckle to himself.

“That was a very enjoyable, if rather silly, song, Dawn. How did you come up with this idea?” Twilight asked once Soothing and Tempest quieted down enough for her to be heard.

“OH! Ummm, well,” Dawn said, rubbing one forehoof over the other.

“Dawn was a little bit worried about Santa Hooves thinking she was bad this year after the cheese incident last month,” Tempest said. “So, to help her calm down, I helped her write a list of everything she was worried about, and then explained how each concern wasn’t her being bad one by one.”

That’s actually a really good idea, Flash thought. It sounds like the perfect way to help Dawn calm down if she ever gets stressed in the future too.

“And then once I read over all the things that happened, I thought it would make for a really fun song!” Dawn chirped, smiling widely. “And then Aunt Sparky said ‘Sure, let’s go with that,’ and then helped me write the melody!”

“I then, as a joke, suggested she sing it for the whole family,” Tempest said with an eye roll and a smile. “Of course, seeing how she’s the daughter of you two crazy ponies, she immediately jumped on the idea that wasn’t at all serious and asked me to set up a stage for her while she practiced.”

“Anything you say, even as a joke, can be used in my art! So there!” Dawn exclaimed boldly, posing for effect. Flash and Twilight both laughed at that, which only made Dawn puff out her chest and pose even more dramatically.

Which didn’t last for very long as Soothing tore her way out of the blankets and Twilight’s hooves and tackled her big sister to the ground.

“That was a fun song!” she cheered “Now you gotta help me write one! And don’t worry, I promise I will share my gifts from Santa Hooves if you ever are too bad.”

“Aw, thanks, sis!” Dawn said, wrapping her wings around Soothing. “Back at ya! And I’ve got LOTS of ideas for songs!” She let out a big, dramatic gasp. “We should do a duet next time!”

“Yay!” Soothing said. Her horn started glowing, and a very excited Snowflake materialized and jumped on both girls, showering them with very excited puppy kisses.

Flash and Twilight both shared a knowing look as Tempest happily got up and joined the impromptu pony-pile on the stage. Now that Dawn had the idea of a duet with her sister, there was a very good change this kind of silliness would become a new family tradition every year. Not that it would be a bad thing, of course. In fact, it might be a good way to look back on all the funny memories they had made each year. Something to look forward to for next year.

“I was a little worried for a minute there,” Twilight whispered to Flash as they watched Tempest hug and nuzzle the girls. “When I heard the title of the song…”

“I was too,” Flash admitted softly, “but Tempest beat us to the punch in helping her calm down, and we got a pretty fun song out of it.”

“I’m just happy Dawn isn’t not stressing anymore,” Twilight said, giggling as Tempest began to tickle the girls, pinning them under her so they couldn’t escape.

“Just another day in the Sparkle home,” Flash said with a grin, giving Twilight a quick kiss before nodding towards the squealing pile of ponies. “Shall we?” he asked, having a sudden urge to join in the fun and snuggle the tartarus out of their adorable family. Twilight nodded happily, both of them getting up and jumping into the happy pile of ponies on the stage. They hugged their daughters happily as they enjoyed the silly and chaotic group of ponies that was their family. A family that they wouldn’t trade for anything.

Author's Note

YES, I'M STILL ALIVE!
And truth be told, I had wanted to finish this before the holiday season was over, but it took me longer than I thought it would to get done. It did make for a nice little late gift for my Fiancee/editor however (even if I did need her help editing it three times after the original draft). Still, I think it's a wonderfully adorable little story and the prefect way to start the new year.

Also, I think this is the actually the first story where Tempest actually has a speaking role of some kind. She is actually a character I am really looking forward to writing more about once 'How to Meet the Parent's' is finished and I have so many plans for her as part of the main universe these stories take place in. I would say more, but I don't want to spoil the surprises I have in store.

So anyway, happy late holidays, happy new year, and I hope you enjoy the adorable little mood-lifter I wrote above :pinkiehappy: