Author's Note

DISCLAIMER:

This chapter carries topics of suicide. The reason there's no tag of Suicide/Self Harm on this story is because no act or attempt of an act is actually portrayed in said story.

009

My chest was shoved by a deep pressure, and in an instant, my ears were bombarded with Flame's shouts.

"WAKE UP!"

I shot up in alarm, looking around frantically as Moonlight and Polarity gathered the gun and the nutrient pills. Firefly kept his eyes fixated on something outside through the window.

Flame trotted away for the front door. "WE NEED TO MOVE!"

"W-what's happening?" I asked, fearing the worst. "Did they find us!?"

"They knew we were here the whole time!" Polarity shouted as she cocked the gun in her telekinetic grip. "They were waiting for us to lower our guard!"

I scrambled for the window, stopping beside Firefly, who remained quiet as he stared on into the night sky.

The stars shined bright up above. Twinkling, singing... They were so beautiful. Mesmerizing...

Hypnotizing...

I wanted so badly to reach up and touch them. To sing with them...

They danced along the black as beacons of light. Growing bigger, stronger...

"PHOENIX!"

I was thrown to the side abruptly, away from the view that ensnared me. In a confused daze, I blinked, looking around.

Moonlight was pulling Firefly away from the window.

It dawned on me...

Those weren't stars...

THOSE. WEREN'T. STARS.

Polarity pulled me up from the ground.

"C'mon!" She yelled. "Let's go!"

Firefly and I were both rushed to the front door, where Flame stood, impatiently waiting.

"Double time it, for fuck's sake!" He screamed, before running around to the back of the building, toward the canyons I was told to go to in the dream.

Countless lights marked the horizon as a million screams roared with the stampede of hooves, boots, and claws.

Once more, did I find myself getting enthralled...

We were a mistake... Everything was. Life was an error. There was not meant to be a beginning...

"Damn it, Phoenix, MOVE!" Polarity shoved me to the side of the building, shaking me out of the attraction.

The others began running for the direction Flame took, and I followed after them.

I didn't dare look back at the lights. If it hadn't been for the others, I would have been staring until they took me...

They were closing in. That was as much as I needed to know right now.

The land was dark, but the glow that emanated off Flame came off as a beacon, along with the flow of running liquid in the distance that came with the falls. Had it not been for that, we would have surely been lost and perhaps, even separated...

Everything was to be nothing, and nothing was to be everything. No life, no death.

Silence.

A song that started since before the mistake of the first breath. A mistake. Everything was wrong. Needed to be fixed.

I was a part of the equation. A variable. A variable that needed to be solved. I could solve it.

I just needed to kill myself.

"PHOENIX, GOD DAMN IT!" Flame screamed, inches from my face as he tugged at me. "RUN!"

The others were far ahead as lights. Different lights. Lights of friends. Lights that didn't deceive my troubled mind...

Lights that were variables...

Variables that needed to be solved...

"That's it!" He blurted, spinning around and lowering to the ground. He quickly positioned himself underneath me and raised back up, before breaking into a full canter once more.

The song was louder now. Closer. Calling to me. Singing for me...

"I have to die." I attempted kicking myself off his back.

"Stop moving!" He shouted. "We're almost there!"

Almost... where?

"Life is not an option!" I blurted, kicking around harder. "Let me go! I have to die for them!"

"Phoenix, stop!" He screamed behind a pant.

"No, we need to die! All of us!"

"Phoenix, what the hell are you doing!?"

"Existence wasn't meant to exist! We will all submit to Cetera!"

"Stop it, you fucking psychopath! POLARITY!"

"On it!" She screamed nearby, just before my hooves locked in place, restrained by a fiery aura.

"NO!" I screamed. "Let me go!"

The two ran with me in tow. Ran from the truth. Ran from the song. Ran from what mattered. And what mattered was nothing.

"We don't belong!"

"For the love of the stars, shut her up!" Flame blurted in a fatigued breath as he gradually slowed from exhaustion.

A blunt pain quickly met the back of my head, and as they advanced, everything blurred and darkened. Sensations drifted away as my mind did.

The song was quieting down...

And then...

Black.

<>

Everything was quiet, save for a few distant voices, one of which I didn't recognize. It was deeper. Something that belonged to a giant...

All physical pain had seemed to vacate me, much to my surprise. For repeated blunt trauma to the head, I would have expected one hell of a headache to stick around for quite some time.

But instead... I felt completely fine. Well... physically, anyways.

Mentally, I felt violated... Used... Manipulated...

I remembered what happened. Vividly. And that wasn't me... I wasn't myself... I was possessed. Tricked. I didn't feel like me... I was a stranger to myself...

And my friends... if they could be called that anymore...

Did I lose their trust...?

I sat up from the dark cavern floor, looking around.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, but I saw them in the distance, sitting around a fire. Talking to... something. Big. Shrouded by the dark. Blending in.

The only visible part of it were the two massive, white glowing lights that hovered over them, much like the eyes of the things we were running from.

What did I call them? Cetera...?

But it wasn't like the others. It spoke calmly, instead of screaming or hissing static.

Quietly, I stood up and approached the fire.

They were far away enough where I could hear a conversation, but it was indecipherable from this distance.

As I stepped forward, I noticed that the group was shy of one silhouette...

Upon stepping into the light, all eyes were now on me.

"Phoenix..." Flame quickly stood up and trotted up to me, holding me close.

"W-what happened...?" I asked over his shoulder, looking at the others as I reciprocated his affection. The others looked wary... "Where are we?"

"You're safe." The voice of the shadowed beast spoke softly. "As for the one you were referring to as Moonlight..." The voice paused. "He wasn't so lucky..."

"They got him, Phoenix..." Flame whispered, releasing me. "They tore into him. Almost got Firefly, but... he took his place..."

Firefly sat alone, holding himself tight as he stared into the flames before him in silence. He wasn't accepting company right now.

"Are you okay?" Polarity asked me. "We know about the... messages you were getting out there."

I shook my head and sighed. "I feel wrong."

"As anyone would." The beast spoke. "I was able to counter the effects and your afflictions. You may feel like this for a while, but you're safe now."

"Who are you?"

The two white spotlights of eyes lowered, inching near me. A long, massive scaled muzzle came into view, revealed by the light of the fire. Fangs larger than my body jutted out from the dragon's closed mouth, but I felt no malicious intent from him.

"I am the last guardian of the planet. My name is Lucisco."

With that, he raised back up to his former level, towering over all of us.

"I have waited a very long time for you, little Phoenix. All of you. We both have."

"We?" I raised a brow.

"You will meet her soon enough." He replied softly. "I will allow you to catch up with one another while I arrange a meet with her."

Flame nodded, looking up at the dragon before taking his seat at the fire beside me. I took a spot next to him as the dragon faded away into... nothing. Wait, what the fuck? How did he do that?

"The static..." Flame muttered. "I only got a fraction of the theory right. They..." He froze for a moment, his eyes glistening with tears in the fire's light before he wiped a hoof over them. "They weren't just gathering information on us. They really are a network, connected to one mind..." He scoffed and shook his head. "I was really hoping I was wrong about that..."

"What do you mean?" I asked, reaching a hoof out, running it up and down his back as he stared into the flames intently.

"They were searching for us. And they were using Moonlight and Firefly to track us."

"What...?"

"They knew there were more survivors out there somewhere. They knew about us... How important we were. Their eyes in the sky couldn't find us, so they used the next best thing."

"Prey that had a better chance of doing so while staying in the dark..." Polarity filled in. "They wanted us to find each other... wanted us to feel safer in numbers... wanted us to let our guard down and rest..."

"... Only then, would they move in..." Flame added dryly. "The bigger the group bands together, the bigger their cause becomes. Catch them unaware, by surprise, and they have them..."

"They're recruiting." Polarity jumped in again, regarding me plainly. "And with all the shit you were spouting, I have a good idea what for."

Firefly abruptly stood up and stormed off into the darkness without a word. Not so much as a glance to anyone...

"Lucky for us..." Flame continued dryly. "We knew better than to let our guard down entirely..."

I watched as Firefly's glow gradually fell away into darkness, and just as I stood up, Polarity intervened.

"I got it, Phoenix..." She said quietly, getting up. "I'll handle it..."

"You sure...?"

Her eyes lingered on mine for a moment before she nodded. "I think it's... best... you avoid him..."

"What, why?" I raised a brow.

"Polarity..." Flame chided.

She glanced at him and sighed. "Nothing..."

"No..." I glared, feeling anger boil within like a volcano about to erupt. "You can't fucking do that. You... all of you... know better than to keep others in the dark. Tell me! Now!"

"Phoenix..." Flame spoke tenderly, but I wasn't having it.

"Don't you 'Phoenix' me." I sneered. "We're better than Humans. Don't you dare start adopting their habits of confidentiality!"

The two of them fell silent as they stared at one another through the flames between them.

"Well!?" I blurted, looking from one to the other.

"Alright..." Flame spoke in a near whisper. "I'll tell you... But you're gonna wanna sit down..."

"I'll leave you two to... discuss it..." Polarity whispered, turning away and walking for wherever Firefly had gone.

Quietly, I sat down. Flame took my hoof and brought it to his lips, pressing against it lightly for a moment, before tracing his along the rim of mine.

"I didn't tell you... the full truth... about what happened to Moonlight..."

Already, I wasn't liking where this was headed. But I demanded the truth, even if it hurt.

"Polarity knocked you out because you were making things difficult. I would have been taken. She would have. Firefly... and Moonlight..." He shook his head, closing his eyes. "But when she knocked you out, things got worse. Your body started... attacking me. It took all of them to pull you away from me, but then you went after Firefly..."

"W-what...?" My heart felt as if it had stopped.

"Moonlight intervened, and you went after him."

"I..."

He raised a hoof to my lips, silencing me. His eyes lingered on mine, tears glistening within.

And then he spoke horror through a broken whisper...

"I... killed you, Phoenix..." He paused, a lump in his throat. "I shot you... It was the only way to... stop you... Yet... you're here."

I would have, in most cases, taken that as a sick joke. But the look in his eyes... I saw nothing but truth in them. He was sincere, and he was terrified seeing me alive...

I was terrified hearing I had been killed.

"I didn't... kill... Moonlight...?"

He shook his head.

"No. But Firefly blames you anyways. See... because of that turn of events... the Cetera, as you called it, caught up to us a great deal. At the base of the canyon was another gateway only you and me could open, but with you being... dead..." He slouched over. "Moonlight had to carry you to the hoof imprint. We got the portal open, but the Cetera crowded Firefly. Moonlight... did everything he could to save him." Finally, he averted his eyes to the fire. "Even if it meant trading places..."

"Firefly blames me because I wasted time..." I stated matter of factly in a monotone.

"I'm gonna stop you right there." He said quickly, looking me dead in the eye. "This was not your fault. You were not in control. You were possessed. This does not reflect on you. Phoenix..." He held me tight. But... I was too far away to feel him... "Phoenix, please don't blame yourself for this..."

I was alive, and he wasn't...

"How come no one else got the messages I was...?" I asked in a dead, defeated tone.

His body tensed a little, but he only hugged me tighter shortly after.

"Your... head injury... As it turns out, a dazed consciousness allowed them to speak to you through the screams, according to Lucisco. You were able to decipher something from them. Their goals and ideas..." His body shivered slightly. I don't think he wanted me to notice, but I did, even before the fact.

He was scared...

"It wasn't your fault, Phoenix..." He reiterated, nuzzling into my neck. May as well have put him repeating that in Orientation, because it hurt like hell hearing it... "You have to believe that..."

"Right..." I sighed, finally wrapping my forelegs around him. "I still feel disgusting... but... a part of me knows it wasn't me..."

"I'm so sorry..." He whispered into my ear. His lips met my cheek.

"I am too..."

"You have nothing to be sorry about." He said quietly.

"I'm sorry that it happened. I'm sorry that my body was used to do it..."

"Are you ready?" Lucisco asked in a deep, yet soft tone. Even still, it caught me off guard, and both Flame and I jumped from the surprise.

"My apologies." He continued. "I meant not to frighten you."

I turned around to find his eyes in the darkness above us.

"T-that was quick." I stated nervously.

"She's had an open schedule for quite some time. We both have."

"What about Polarity and Firefly?" Flame asked, looking up at him as he clung tight to me.

"They are busy." Lucisco answered simply. "I will retrieve them when they are ready to join us."

"And..." I started. "Just who is it we're going to be meeting?"

"My queen. My mother. Your planet."

...

Today was fucking weird as hell...

I was both seeing and hearing it all in such short notice.

The planet was alive!? Stars, that's creepy! As if the illusion of stars suddenly coming to life and chasing us wasn't creepy enough!

Gah!

Flame and I turned to each other. He nodded once before standing up. I followed his motion, and together, we looked back up at Lucisco.

"We're ready."