Parrot Politics

by Quoterific

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 2343

Luna may have met her political match in Saddle Arabia

At her beloved sister's pestering, Luna takes a long zeppelin ride to the desert city of Saddle Arabia for a diplomatic tour. She hits it off with the delegates there, but there is one diplomat she is having the most difficult time negotiating a reasonable deal.

Can Luna use her diplomatic charm and patience to overcome this bothersome diplomat?

Inspired by the fanart Never joke with Princess Luna
By artist Papygai4ik
Wanted to go for light teen humour, so I hope you all like this take.

Published 2022-01-19 12:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-01-19 12:20:00 UTC

Diplomatic Language

The royal zeppelin touched down outside the royal castle of the grand city of Saddle Arabia. A ramp came out and the Princess of the Night walked out to greet the delegates at the bottom. Luna had to shield her eyes as the harsh desert sun temporarily blinded her, and the desert winds made her mane blow more wildly. However, she didn’t let the elements stop her from walking with precise steps down the ramp to greet the Saddle Arabian delegates who were waiting for her with gentle smiles. She was somewhat reluctant about doing a solo diplomatic trip to the 'Jewel in the Desert City' that was Saddle Arabia. Her beloved sister had urged her about going on board with this trip and Luna was unsure whether or not her diplomacy skills were up for the task. After some long, hard thinking, she reluctantly caved into her sister’s wishes and was soon on the royal zeppelin to the southern deserts.

Luna bowed graciously at the two delegates of the grand city, hoping that they would do what she expected them to do. Both delegates looked at each other with warm smiles, like the desert sun itself, and they too bowed back in respect. Luna mentally breathed a sigh of relief. Seems that this gesture has remained unchanged during her absence. The first member of the Saddle Arabian Delegates was a tall pale pink mare and the other was a brown stallion. Both wore extravagant Arabian fabrics which the city is renowned for. She remembered Princess Celestia mentioning them to her briefly when Celestia took them to Ponyville for a magical display performed by Twilight Sparkle. She also saw them in the royal booth when the Equestria Games was hosted in the Crystal Empire.

“Greetings, Princess Luna,” The stallion welcomed her, “And welcome to Saddle Arabia.” He paused to let the other delegate continue.

“We have been expecting your arrival ever since your sister sent us a letter telling us about your visit to our far-off land.”

Luna chuckled. Her sister has good foresight. She didn’t want her arrival to be unexpected.

“Please,” Luna waved a hoof in dismissal, “The pleasure is all mine and, please, call me Luna. It has been a long time since I have touched down upon this fair land.”

“We may have seen each other before,” The stallion smoothly continued, “But in case you have forgotten, I am Haakim and this is Amira.” Haakim pointed a hoof to the mare. Luna bowed her head to each one of them politely.

“Now,” Amira said, “Let’s escape the desert's sun and enter the castle. I’m afraid we will burn ourselves in this heat.” Luna agreed. Having a dark coat did not help in cooling down under the desert sun.

“Please, lead the way,” Luna smiled and the three of them, accompanied by a dozen or so Saddle Arabian and Equestrian guards, entered the castle. Luna took the time to admire the Arabian architecture in all its splendour. The grand entrance hall displayed an atmosphere of opulence and majesticness. Geometric patterns in the tiles decorated the floor and ceiling. Ornate pillars supported the building and paintings of desert critters and oases hung on every wall.

“Is everything to your liking?” Amira asked with a kind smile.

“It’s truly a sight to behold,” Luna complimented.

“The castle took many years to construct,” Haakim cut in, “But I find it to be just as beautiful as when the final roof tile was put in place. If we have time, we can also show you the gardens and fountains on display.”

“I would like that very much,” Luna beamed as the trio, along with the guards, continued down the corridor. Luna was greeted again by grand paintings, curtains of the finest Arabian silk and ornate pillars until Amira and Haakim welcomed her to her room for the next few days.

“Welcome to the castle’s royal suite,” Haakim opened the door. The Arabian and Equestrian guards were now spread out along the corridor, covering every corner.

“You must have had a long journey,” Amira said, “Please have some rest and we will start with a tour and welcome party in your honour.”

“I am looking forward to the events,” Luna nodded. She walked into her room and the grand double doors closed slowly behind her. She took her time to inspect her room in private. The Royal Suite definitely lived up to its name. Red Arabian silk curtains hung from their open windows and the four-poster bed was just as grand with the covers soft to the touch. The ensuite was just as luxurious as the rest of the room and the bathroom tiles glistened as they caught the sun’s harsh glare. There was also a balcony looking out onto the Arabian gardens and beyond the castle’s walls towards the great city.

Luna stepped out onto the balcony to gaze and admire the views. She closed her eyes and sighed. So far so good. She didn’t make a fool of herself. Yet. She didn’t show it, but she was nervous about her first diplomatic trip without her sister since her… Banishment. She sighed and turned to the castle, looking at the many towers that loomed above her.

She was about to turn around and head back to her bedroom when a feathered creature swooped down to greet her. The sound of claws against the wooden balcony caught Luna’s ears and she turned to the sound. There, standing on the balcony’s edge, was a parrot. It had a beautiful blend of dark green, turquoise and blue feathers that melted together, with yellow accents on his head and tail feathers. Its white belly puffed out proudly and his head rotated from side to side as he inspected the stranger in front of him.

Luna smiled and carefully stepped forward towards the bird so as not to frighten him. She bowed her head and looked up at the parrot.

“Greetings, feathered friend,” Luna greeted, “Are you from around these grounds?”

The parrot gave a squawk in reply, but Luna was unsure if it was a positive or negative response.

“Are you Amira’s and Haakim’s pet bird?” Luna asked.

Again, the parrot gave a squawk. Luna wished she had Fluttershy’s ability. She couldn’t tell if the parrot’s reply was a yes or no.

“Well, in any case,” Luna smiled comfortably, like the gentle celestial body she controlled, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. You may call me Luna.”

“Lu-Na!” The parrot squawked. Luna’s smile widened.

“Very good!” Luna chuckled, “Now if you excuse me, I have to prepare myself for a tour of the castle.” She turned and headed back to the bedroom. It was when then that the parrot caught sight of Luna’s cutie mark.

“Moon!” It answered, followed by a proud squawk. Luna stopped and looked at her cutie mark.

“Very good, feathered friend,” Luna smiled, “It is, indeed, a moon. I am the Princess of the Night and-“

“Flank!”

Luna was cut off and stared at the bird with a blush on her face. Her mouth hung loosely open at that bird's remark.

“How rude!” Luna glared at the offending bird, “Yes, it is my flank, but you must not say that in the presence of royalty or any pony in general. I am putting it kindly, but you-“

“Butt!”

This time Luna’s blush deepened and her jaw dropped to the tiled floor.

“How uncouth!” Luna spluttered, but the offending parrot wasn’t done yet.

“Moon on Butt! Moon Butt!” The parrot was now hopping up and down the balconies. Luna was afraid the whole castle grounds would have heard the parrot’s remark.

“No, no, no!” Luna marched towards the bird, “Please! Call me Luna!”

“Luna Moon Butt! Luna Moon Butt!” The parrot repeated again and again as it continued hopping up and down the balcony. Luna’s eyes twitched in annoyance and irritation. This bird will cause her nothing but misery. She was glad that her beloved sister wasn’t here to listen to this. She could go on for days about this mishap.

Lighting up her horn in its signature blue magical aura, the bird was placed firmly on the balcony’s wall and its beak was clamped shut.

“Who taught you these foul words?” Luna glared at the problematic parrot but sighed as she gained control of her irritation.

“Let’s try this again shall we?” Luna said slowly and she released the bird from her magical grasp and pointed to herself.

“What is my name?” Luna asked slowly.

“Luna!” The parrot squawked his answer.

“Good. Now, what do you call this?” She pointed with a hoof to her moon cutie mark.

“Moon!”

“Very good. Now, what do you not say in public?”

“Flank! Butt!”

Progress!

“So what’s my name?” Luna smiled.

“Luna Moon Butt!”

And that was when progress crashed and burned. Luna's hoof met her face briefly. Of all the cursed things to say to royalty of all things.

“You feathered fiend!” Luna sighed, “It seems you must be taught some proper manners!”

Her shouting didn’t help as the bird carried on with its dance and proclamation. A vein was throbbing her the poor princess’ head. At least, Luna didn’t use the Royal Canterlot Voice. Now she was afraid the whole city would hear her argument with nothing more than a parrot.

On the bright side, she pondered, at least he didn’t begin with, ‘Hey, ugly!’

The two of them bickered back and forth, Luna trying to correct the bird with proper manners and the bird simply ignoring Luna’s wishes. It seems that they have reached a negotiation stalemate, with Luna wanting to change and the parrot not agreeing to her wishes, much to Luna’s chagrin.

“In all my years of dignitaries, royals and diplomats!” Luna cursed out loud, “This is, by far, the hardest diplomat to strike an understanding!”

None of them was aware of the two tall ponies standing behind them.

“What is going on out here?” A stallion’s voice came from the balcony’s entrance. Luna’s eyes widened and she turned to the source of the voice. Luna found herself staring back at the two delegates.

“Luna Moon Butt! Luna Moon Butt!” The parrot continued again on its annoying name-calling. Luna looked between the delegates and the parrot, another blush on her face.

“Please!” Luna begged “I can explain! This parrot has done nothing but harasses me with his foul language and I’ve been trying my best to correct it!”

Both delegates looked at each other and the parrot before laughing.

To say Luna was puzzled by this was an understatement. However, upon hearing the sound of laughter, the parrot turned towards the sound and it immediately perked up, his chanting stopping and a new word came out of its beak.

“Master!”

“Master?!” Luna equally squawked, but in surprise, “Don’t tell me this bird is yours.”

Without saying a word, Haakim simply stretched a hoof out to the parrot and he swooped past Luna to land on his hoof.

“Luna,” Haakim introduced, “Meet our pet parrot, Oasis, and Oasis, meet our guest of honour, Princess Luna of Equestria.”

“I’m afraid Oasis here likes to play practical jokes on every creature who is new to the castle,” Amira chuckled, “He has obviously chosen you, Luna, to be his next victim.”

“Say you’re sorry, young man,” Haakim said calmly, yet firmly, to the parrot, now called Oasis.

“Sorry!”

Luna just looked back and forth between Oasis and the two delegates. Then she chuckled and waved a hoof at them.

“There is no need to apologise!” Luna laughed, “My beloved sister has a pet phoenix who likes to play pranks as well! There wasn’t any harm done!”

“A phoenix?” Amira raised an eyebrow, “How extraordinary!”

“Yes. Philomena is her name and she is also fond of pranks,” Luna giggled. She has become a subject to Philomena’s pranks before, especially during dreaded feeding time. Philomena once played dead on her whilst Luna didn’t know she was a phoenix at the time.

“Anyway,” Haakim bowed his head, “We apologies again for Oasis’ behaviour.” He looked down at the parrot and sternly said, “This prank could have gone badly, you know? Pestering a royal member of all ponies. I’m just glad it wasn’t a minotaur dignitary. I’m afraid you won’t be getting ay crackers for a few days.”

Oasis’ feathers drooped down in disappointment. Luna walked to the parrot and gently petted its head. He cooed and leaned into the petting.

“I apologise too, Oasis,” Luna smiled, “I may have also gone too far as well and not see this as a harmless prank. Haakim, could you please be lenient towards his punishment?”

Haakim through long and hard on Luna’s request.

“Very well, no crackers for today then.”

Oasis perked up at that and gave a happy squawk he hopped onto Luna’s back and rubbed his head against Luna’s.

“You’re forgiven, Oasis,” Luna giggled.

“Now with that settled,” Amira interjected, “perhaps we shall make a start with the royal tour and ceremony. We have a lot to cover and discuss before the day ends.”

“Then please,” Luna gestured with a hoof, “Lead the way.”

And so, with Oasis still on Luna’s back, the three ponies made their way to the bedroom’s doors to begin the tour of the castle.

The next day was when the real diplomacy begins.

Author's Note

When I saw the artwork, I just had another spark of creative writing, but then I hesitated at the theme I was going for. I took some time to think about it and then just went along with it. I'm sensitive to certain explicit subjects, so this is really going out of my comfort zone. However, it was a comfortable challenge to start off with. :twilightblush:

By the way, those were the branded Hasbro names of the two delegates from Saddle Arabia we saw in Magic Dual (s3e5) and briefly in Equestria Games (s4e24), Haakim and Amira.

Hope you enjoyed it and happy reading :pinkiehappy: