I Humped The Sheriff, But I Didn't Hump The Deputy
”A moonlight festival?” Sunny asked as Izzy was gleeing in front of her. The purple unicorn had told her friends about an upcoming event that was going to occur in her hometown Bridlewood. They all had gathered in Sunny’s living room to spend some time together and now Izzy was excited about the festival.
”Yeah, it’ll be fun!” Izzy was bouncing up and down as she told more of her story, ”It’s an annual celebration of the my kind, in honor of some kind of moon goddess, what was her name… Loona, I’m not sure… ”
”Loona? You mean Princess Luna?” Sunny also started to get excited. That was the name of Princess Celestia’s younger sister, who was also mentoring the great Twilight Sparkle. If that festival had anything to do about Twilight, she wanted to know more!
”Well, I think that history part is boring…” Izzy admitted, much to Sunny’s annoyance, ”But we have a big party and lots of food, we're dancing and playing and so on… It’s gonna be so exciting!”
”Were talking about the same unicorns we met, right?” Hitch rose his eyebrows as everything what Izzy said sounded like an exaggeration to him. He fondly remembered how bored those unicorns actually were looking when he first visited Izzy’s hometown. Were they capable of having fun like that for real or was Izzy just hallucinating?
”That’s new, but… Count me in!” Pipp said as she was scrolling on her phone, not taking her eyes off the screen.
”Will there be free booze?” Zipp asked with a smirk. ”If so, then I’m in!”
”Well, we do have hard cider,” Izzy replied and looked at her friend, ”Lots and lots of hard cider!”
That answer made Zipp rose up from the sofa she was sitting on. ”Sounds my kinda party, then!”
”Well, that does sound like fun, Izzy” Sunny was ready to go, as she wanted to learn more about unicorn habits. Now she had a chance to have an first-hoof experience of their traditions.
”Okay everypony! Let’s go to Bridlewood!”
And so they went…
***
As Sunny and her friends arrived the town, they saw unicorns raising all kinds banners and streamers around the town, decorating it with all the colors of the rainbow. The unicorns had cheered up after they got their magic back and nopony looked dull or bored anymore. Even that one beatnik unicorn they had met at the Tea Room had more colorful attire. All of them seemed genuinely excited about the upcoming event and worked together decorating the town.
”Well, look at that!” Sunny said as she looked around, ”Things totally have changed here!”
Even Hitch was impressed by the sudden change of everypony’s attitude.
”I got to admit, they DO look like they’re having fun!” He then turned to look at Izzy, ”You think that Alpha guy’s here too?”
”Master Alphabittle is away at the moment,” some random unicorn answered as he was passing by, ”He said about going to have negotiations with some Pegasus queen. I don’t know the details, though. Beats me!”
Pipp’s and Zipp’s stomachs turned at the revelation. They REALLY didn’t want to know what kind of negotiations their mother was going to have with Alphabittle!
”Aww, that’s sad!” Izzy said with a pout, ”He always kills it on the dance floor!”
***
All the preparations were done just before the nightfall. As the sun went down and everything went dark, all the crystals surrounding Bridlewood started shimmering light all around the town.
”Oh, the bio-luminescence!” Sunny was impressed, ”It’s so beautiful!”
”Why didn’t you tell anything about this?” Hitch asked Izzy who was grinning widely.
”It was a surprise. Of course I didn’t tell you about it, silly!” she ran away to get some treats from the table.
”I guess so!” Hitch laughed and looked around as everypony was cheering and dancing. These seemingly bored unicorns really knew how to have a good time!
”Hello pipsqueaks!” Pipp held her phone in front of her face as she was streaming the event to her fans, ”Your princess is now at some FABULOUS party!”
”Yup, she never takes away her phone…” Sunny shook her head and followed Izzy to the treats.
”Hey look, there’s the cider!” Zipp pointed to the table carrying plenty of mugs filled with foamy and crispy beverage. ”Bet I can drink you under the table?”
”Nope, I am NOT going to have drinking contest with you, Zipp!” Hitch shook his head, ”I still get fan mail because of those pics! My old neighbor sent me a photo of her boobs and texted me she wanted to ”polish my gun”... She used to be such a sweet old lady!”
”D’awww, so sad to hear, Sheriff!” Zipp chuckled as they walked to have samples of that cider.
***
”Gotta take a leak, guys. Be right back!” Hitch said and left the group.
They had been partying for hours and now all the drinks Hitch had taken had taken there toll. He was thinking to take just a quick bathroom break, but when he saw how many ponies were queuing for the outhouses, he decided to go to the forest. Normally it wouldn’t have been safe to go there during the night, but since the crystals were emitting light everywhere, it wasn’t too dark for Hitch to see in front of him.
Hitch walked deeper into the woods until he found a good spot, far enough from the eyes of possible voyeurs. He stopped by a tree and raised onto his rear legs, aiming his member at the tree’s roots. His urine started to seep out and soon turned into a healthy stream that rustled as it hit the ground.
”Man, I really did drink a lot!” Hitch sighed in relief and closed his eyes, ”That was some damn good cider! I’m so gonna feel this in the morning, though!”
He wanted to do his business fast so he could quickly return before anypony saw him, he was a sheriff after all.
”Nice cock, Sheriff!” he suddenly heard a feminine, husky voice behind him.
Hitch jumped in surprise. He stopped his stream and crossed his legs in shock, then turned his head towards the source of the voice. He noticed Zipp standing behind him, just a couple of feet away.
”Wha-! Zipp!” He shouted in confusion, ”What are YOU doing here?!”
”Well, I came to do the same as you,” Zipp replied and smiled, ”Needed to pee, too many ponies in line, the basic stuff. But looks like this spot is occupied!”
”It sure is!” Hitch was becoming frustrated. ”Could you please go away?”
”Aww! Shy bladder, Sheriff?” Zipp snickered, making Hitch blush.
”No!” he replied as he shifted his position. Showing his genitals to a friend felt way too awkward for him. ”I’m just respecting your modesty, that’s all!”
”Why?” Because I’m a princess?” Zipp flashed Hitch a seductive smile, ”I’ve seen your junk before. No big deal!”
She had? Hitch was thinking back to one time he had been urinating in the bush when they were having a picnic and afterwards he had noticed Zipp had been around while he was doing it, but he was sure she didn’t actually see him. There was also that Hard Cider Incident he himself couldn’t remember anything about even though photos of it went viral for some time. If she really had seen him, then there was nothing to lose.
”Well, how about this?” Zipp asked with a sneaky smile, ”If I get to see you pee, I can show you how I tinkle! We have a deal?”
Well, that wasn’t a bad deal at all!
Hitch decided to open himself up. His cock was once again in display, making Zipp lick her lips.
"Nice!" She thought as she came closer to get a better look of it. She felt her clitoris starting to swollen.
”You gotta keep that promise, ok!” Hitch said as he re-positioned himself, now leaning on the tree with both of his forelegs, letting his member hang freely in sight. He was now completely exposed in front of Zipp, his cock arcing down towards the tree. ”And don’t stand too close, if you don’t wanna get soaked!”
”Hey, what if I wanted to?” Zipp smirked back at Hitch, making him chuckle.
”Well, whatever tickles your pickle!”
Hitch relaxed and let it fly. His stream started to seep out from his urethra and soon it was gushing like a river, watering roots of the tree. He didn’t bother to aim as there was nothing to hide anymore and he let his stream spray wherever it liked. Hitch kept his sight downwards, not wanting to look at his friend, so he wouldn’t get any kind of unwanted erection.
Zipp on the other hoof was certainly enjoying herself. She kept her eyes locked in his member and smirked, not saying anything. She could now see all the details of his brown and black member: the long, meaty shaft and a cockhead as big as some foal’s hoof, a thick medial ring and pair of balls between his legs, the veins that were covering it - all the 15 inches of flaccid meat which was twitching as he continued to go.
The moment of such intimacy didn’t last long and soon Hitch’s tank was drained completely. Zipp watched as the last droplets of Hitch’s urine were falling down from his tip. He grabbed his cock with both hooves and shook the last drops off. Then he turned around to face Zipp.
”Well, that wasn’t so bad,” he thought as his flaccid member was retracting into his sheath. He actually kind of enjoyed it. He looked at Zipp who was still standing there and staring at his now hidden package, smiling and blushing profusely.
”So,” Hitch scratched his neck, ”Were you supposed to pee too?”
Zipp woke up from her trance at that moment. ”Oh, right!” she replied and zipped past Hitch, couple of feet away from him, ”Guess I need to keep my part of the deal!”
She didn’t go too far from Hitch and looked one last time at her friend. He was standing there, waiting the magic to happen. He wasn’t sure what to think of it, but he trusted in his friend. He had never been thinking how mares normally used the toilet, although he was aware of their biology: Mares usually urinated when they were aroused, but he had never seen any mare actually doing that.
Zipp turned her head away from Hitch and raised her tail, showing off her perfectly fit plot to her friend, making Hitch swallow. She had perfectly round alabaster buttocks and under her tail he could see her tight ponut and pair of her pussy lips, which were already slick and moist from Hitch’s earlier performance. Hitch could see her lips open up as she winked her marehood, her plump and tender clitoris shooting in and out from her folds. He needed to shift his legs a little as he felt his stallionhood beginning to emerge from his sheath. Was she going to pee standing up?
Hitch knew some mares preferred to squat while peeing, especially Pipp and Izzy (who he had accidentally walked in on when all of them were camping one time), but Zipp didn’t seem like that type. He admired Zipp’s brave and rebellious attitude, and was sure she would do something different. And right he was, as Zipp surprised him by raising her plot high up in the air while lowering herself to lay on her front legs. That position certainly turned Hitch’s crank and soon his penis was throbbing like crazy at the sight. His precum was starting to leak, a single rope of it gleaming in the moonlight.
Zipp could only imagine what Hitch was going through, concentrating on relaxing her bladder so she could start the show she had promised. It didn’t take too long for her golden urine to seep out from her marehood, arcing down to the ground below, trickling loudly as it started to form a puddle. Soon it turned into a waterfall of piss, having no signs of stopping.
Zipp sighed aubibly in relief, making Hitch’s blush deepen. How was she able to hold such an amount of urine inside of her? The smell of her musk was filling Hitch’s nostrils and soon he felt his cock slapping against his abdomen. Dammit, he really needed to rub one out after such display!
After a while Zipp’s bladder was finally running empty and her gushing stream slowed down, until stopping completely. Her marehood winked the last couple of squirts out.
”Mmmm…” Zipp purred and shook her rump to get the last drops off her snatch, ”That felt so good!”
She then rose up and turned towards Hitch, who was trying to process what he just saw.
”That… Was frigging hot!” He uttered, trying to hide his erection. Zipp laughed and leaned close to Hitch.
”I thought so!” she replied and stared him into the eyes while smiling seductively. Hitch blushed and cleared his throat.
”Um… Should we… Get back now?”
”Aww, what’s the fun in that?” Zipp replied with a fake pout, ”We just got here, you know!”
”Yes, I got that!” Hitch rolled his eyes, ”It’s just… We have drunk WAY too much! Perhaps we should get some sleep-”
It was only then when Zipp leaned closer and kissed him, surprising Hitch beyond believe. He struggled at first, but then he relaxed and returned the kiss, feeling warm inside.
Both slightly drunken ponies then broke the kiss and stared at each other. They were seemingly waiting for the other to break the silence, not wanting to ruin the moment.
”I…” Zipp finally replied, ”I didn’t drink just to get wasted, you know. I was trying to build up some courage.”
Hitch looked at Zipp confusingly, ”Build up some courage… to seduce me?”
”No!” Zipp laughed, ”To tell you about my feelings… For you!”
”Me?”
Hitch finally understood his friend’s signals. She didn’t want them to be just friends. She wanted to go down on him, have sex! Hitch felt his cock slapping audibly against his belly and squirting pre on the ground. There was no way Zipp didn’t notice that, and he could see she was looking down, eyeing on his throbbing tool for a moment.
While Hitch had imagined how it would feel like to have sex with some of his friend, he had enough morality to not actually fantasize about them. Had Zipp secretly been thinking about his dick, then?
”When I first met you, Hitch…” Zipp broke the brief silence, ”I thought you were like those dick-for-a-brain douchebag guys who I’ve met so many times before. So full of themselves and just wanting to score with me…”
Ouch!
”But you were different!” Zipp rose her head and smiled, ”You were so kind. And honest. Gentle. And still… No nonsense. You could do anything to protect your friends and cheer them up, if they were feeling down!”
”Why… Thanks!” Hitch uttered and was genuinely surprised when Zipp suddenly leaned on him.
”I’m… Attracted to you, Hitch!” she sighed, ”Laugh if you want, but… I’m not joking! Not this time…”
Hitch didn’t know what to say for a moment. He shifted his position nervously and tried to find words.
”So um… You… Really want to… Do it… Right?”
”Yes!” Zipp replied confidently, ”Isn’t it obvious? You’re supposed to be a sheriff!”
”Well… eh… It’s just…” Hitch was positively sweating at that moment.
”You really… Don’t think the same… right?” Zipp asked disappointingly and looked away.
”Wha- NO! Not that!” Hitch was now panicking. This was the point of no return for him. He needed to be honest. ”It’s just that… I have never done it before…”
”Huh?” this time it was Zipp’s turn to be surprised. How come a hunk like Hitch had never had sex before? Wasn’t he even a model one time, he should have been surrounded by mares. ”You’ve never fucked anypony, like… Never?”
”Yeah…No!” Hitch admitted and shrugged, ”Ponies seem to assume I go from mare to mare for I’m a sheriff, but I’ve actually never slept with anypony before. I’ve had couple of girlfriends, but… It didn’t work out with any of them. I didn’t go that far!”
”Oh…” Zipp was a little embarrassed, ”Sorry what I said about that… Scoring thing!”
”Hey, it’s okay!” Hitch reassured and smirked, ”I’m actually kinda pleased for you to think I’m some kind of sex machine!”
”Maybe you are!” Zipp flashed a grin at Hitch, making him blush, ”You just haven’t tried it before.”
Hitch raised his hoof and put it on Zipp’s shoulder.
’”Well, let’s find out, then!” he replied and leaned towards Zipp, kissing her lips. He then started pushing her on her back gently, looking at her eyes for a moment. Zipp was a little taken aback by Hitch’s sudden change in self-confidence, but she decided to embrace the moment. She felt Hitch’s member throb against her abdomen as he leaned closer to her. She looked down to measure it.
When she saw it for the first time she had been impressed by the size of it, but now that it was fully erect, it was actually even bigger than she had imagined. There was no way she could remain tight after taking that thing! The idea of it made Zipp even wetter.
She closed her eyes and said, ”You don’t need to worry about it. Just do whatever feels right for you!” She felt Hitch’s balls brush against her nipples.
”Then I will!” Hitch said proudly, not wanting to drag the moment any longer.
He started to pepper Zipp with kisses all over her body, her neck, her chest, her abdomen…
Zipp moaned slightly as Hitch was doing it. He went lower, planting passionate kisses on her teats. He then found the courage to spread Zipp’s legs apart, watching her most special place as she was winking her pink clit at him. Her own juices were already trickling out of her folds, releasing an intoxicating smell that Hitch couldn’t resist. He decided to joke a little in the moment:
”Nice pussy, Princess!” he said in the same tone Zipp had used earlier.
Zipp wasn’t very pleased by his words, or at least she acted like that: ”Shut the fuck up, Sheriff!” she rolled her eyes, ”Give that mouth some better use!”
”Well, if you insist!” Hitch licked his lips and hesitated. He glanced at Zipp one last time to ask her permission to go down on her. He didn’t even need to say anything for Zipp to reply. She sighed and pleaded: ”Do it! Just do it, Hitch! I want you to take me!”
Don’t mind if I do!
Hitch plunged his tongue into Zipp’s quivering pussy, making her yelp in pleasure. He rolled his tongue around her folds and clitoris, savoring the taste of her nectar. He had never tasted anything like it before. He also got some drops of her leftover urine on his tongue, feeling a salty taste inside his mouth, but he didn’t care. He heard Zipp moan as he lapped her insides, trying to go deeper. His snout was poking his partner’s clit as he tried to reach her G-spot with his tongue. It had its effect on Zipp as she was squirming under Hitch’s head.
”Ah! Yesss! Aaah!” she blurted out as she was gasping for air, ”Get going, Sheriff!”
She was getting close!
Hitch pulled his tongue out of her vag and spat to the ground. Then he flashed Zipp a cocky grin. He then proceeded to touch her winking clit with the tip of his tongue and then he took it gently between his teeth, grinding them slightly against her prized pleasure sensor.
Zipp couldn’t hold it anymore! She almost screamed loudly and crossed Hitch’s head between the vice grip of her legs.
”Ah, I’m gonna…! Gonna… AAAAAH!!!”
She threw her head backwards and screamed Hitch’s name as she orgasmed, her pussy squirting marecum into her partner’s open mouth and on his tongue. He got some of it across his face as he pulled back to get some air. They both panted for a while, trying to catch their breath. Hitch licked his lips for a moment and then glanced at Zipp who was still lying on the ground, trying to recover from her orgasm.
”Wow, that was… Intense!” he managed to say between his panting, ”You ok, Zipp?”
Zipp finally got herself together. She spread her legs wider apart, getting Hitch’s attention once again.
”Come here, Sheriff!” she commanded Hitch with a smile, ”Come and rut me like no tomorrow!”
”Woah, little too forward!” Hitch was playing along, ”Maybe we should go for a dinner first!”
”Shut up and fuck me already!” Zipp demanded, ”You just ate my pussy, remember!”
She was horny beyond believe and wanted to be taken hard. Now! Hitch moved on top of Zipp and kissed her on her snout.
”As you wish, Your Highness!” he replied and guided his member at the entrance of Zipp’s marehood. Zipp was already feeling the warmth radiating from her partner’s penis and she bit her lip. She was anticipating the moment that was soon going to happen. Slowly Hitch started to push his tip past her lips, pushing them apart. Her entrance was so warm and wet!
Hitch wasn’t so sure what to do, but decided to let his instincts take control.
And then… It slipped inside!
Zipp gasped loudly as Hitch’s member started filling her.
”Ffffuck!” Hitch blurted out, having underestimated Zipp’s tightness. He usually didn't feel comfortable swearing, but now he really felt like it. He had pushed only a half of his shaft inside her vagina, but it already felt it was deep enough. He could feel the all-new sensation of a mare’s vaginal walls cradling his throbbing penis, feeling them pulsate as if with Zipp’s heartbeat. She crossed her forelegs around Hitch and pulled him closer.
”Sweet Celestia,” Zipp was thinking, ”You’re so big!”
”Sweet Celestia,” Hitch was thinking at the same time, ”You’re so tight!”
Hitch had seen a lot of porn before, but he knew that wasn’t how the things were done. He was still feeling the need to start pulling out until only his tip was inside Zipp, then he pushed back again, repeating the process. He didn’t want to go all out as he didn’t want to hurt Zipp, even though she had told him not to worry about it. He went back and forth, his cock grinding Zipp’s clitoris as he was doing it.
”Y-Yeah! Aaah! Keep going!” Zipp managed to say while Hitch was rutting her. She felt her partner pounding deeper and deeper into her cervix and she was getting close. It wouldn’t take long until the imminent explosion!
”Ah! Hitch… Hitch… I-I’m… I’m gonna- AAAaaaah!!!”
Zipp grabbed Hitch’s head between her forelegs and pulled him closer, giving him a deep kiss. She moaned into his mouth while her walls clenched together violently, milking Hitch’s turgid member from every direction and coating it with her warm juices.
That was too much for Hitch. He was about to climax so hard and needed to think fast. He pulled his head away from Zipp’s embrace and asked her: ”Gotta cum! You want it outside or inside?”
”Huff… Huff! Inside!” Zipp panted in the middle of her afterglow, ”J-Just do it, Sheriff!”
Hitch pulled out one last time and pushed himself all the way in. For the first time ever he was going to shoot his load inside a mare and he braced for the impact. He felt Zipp’s warm and tender insides spasming around his cock, giving it a massage like which he had never received before.
And then… he reached his climax!
Hitch groaned as he felt his cock pulsating in rhythm, shooting rope after rope of his white and creamy seed inside his partner. Zipp’s eyes shot open as she felt Hitch’s cumshots, feeling her whole womb filling with his hot semen, which caused her belly to expand a little as it filled to the brim. Soon Hitch’s cock started deflating and he pulled out with a pop, a torrent of cum drooling from Zipp’s now well-plowed marehood, which was still twitching after her orgasm.
Hitch let out a long sigh of satisfaction and leaned on his elbows, trying not to crush Zipp under his frame. He rolled on his back to the side and tried to catch his breath, his now-limp member resting on his belly. He turned his head to look at Zipp next to him, checking if she was alright. She definitely was as she looked lovingly back at him, reaching her hoof to stroke Hitch’s cheek.
”So,” she said to her new-found lover, ”How was it for your first time?”
Hitch huffed for a moment. ”That was… Amazing! To say the least…”
Zipp purred and kissed his snout. ”Mmm! You’re welcome, Sheriff!”
Hitch pulled Zipp close to him and they kissed again. They lied side by side on the ground and looked to the stars as crystals all around the spot were flickering their lights. Apart from sounds of ponies partying in the distance, the night was peaceful.
”Hitch…” Zipp turned her head towards Hitch, ”Do you… Still wanna see me after this?”
”What? Of course I do!” Hitch was surprised. ”We’re friends after all! Or… I guess we’re… more than just friends now, right?”
”I guess so,” Zipp smiled and laid down her head on Hitch’s chest. They closed their eyes, trying to build up some strength to rise up and go back to the party. They had been away for a while, after all.
”Sis! Where are you!” they suddenly heard familiar voice and bushes next to them were rustling loudly. Pipp appeared from behind the bush with a worried expression.
”Oh, there you are!” she said with a relieved tone, ”I was so worried you had gotten lost in-”
She then noticed how Zipp and Hitch were lying on the ground side by side, with their genitals still on display, gleaming in the light that crystals were shedding. Hitch shifted quickly to the sitting position to cover his penis with his forelegs, grinning nervously as Pipp was staring at them. Zipp was lying there with spread legs, Hitch’s cum still oozing from her marehood, but she didn’t do anything to cover herself.
”Oh, hello Sis!” she greeted her sister who kept staring them with shocked face. She couldn’t let out a word first.
”Did you guys…” she finally managed to stammer, ”Do… it?”
Zipp and Hitch looked at each other, Hitch smiling nervously at his friend. Zipp sighed and shook her head. Wasn’t it obvious enough?
”Oh! My! GOSH!! You actually did it!” Pipp slapped hoof on her face and turned around to leave her sister and her new lover behind. First Alphabittle was dating their mother and now this!
”I’m SO gonna take more of that punch to bleach this from my memory!”
”Ok, have fun!” Zipp waved at her sister and then reached her hoof to push Hitch on his back.
The night was still young and there was so much to enjoy!
Author's Note
This is my first attempt to publish something that has straight sex in it. I personally prefer "non-penetrative eroticism" such as genital worship, petting or such, since I think vanilla clop feels formulaic and sex scenes have tropes many writers do all the time (like Shakespearicles once descriped it as "Ikea porn"), but I gave it a try nevertheless. And I somehow managed to do my most graphic clopfic yet. 
I usually run out of words while trying to write something like this.
I like this ship, Zipp and Hitch had chemistry in the film and I think they're cute together. 
Like I said in the description, this story is not an official sequel to Maretime Bay Hard Cider Incident, although it has some references to it for readers who are familiar with that story. 
