During a hot, sunny day in the jungle while every bird sang in the trees and the critters were doing their business on the ground below, a mysterious creature zoomed by them within one millisecond. The rabbits instantly ran back to their holes, the chipmunks crawled away, and several random snakes were looking left and right in confusion.
The creature sped across the jungle in a way that would make Rainbow Dash completely envious. It ran right through the berry bushes, causing all the berries to drop to the ground; it also ran through a log which prompted fallen leaves and dirt to fly in the air.
Just as the creature was racing across the jungle, a giant bear trap sprouted from the ground and tried to catch it but it surprisingly missed it. The creature likewise managed to dodge some arrows that were aimed at it. A large boulder fell from the sky, but the creature again managed to swerve around the area to avoid being hit.
Suddenly, it came to a full stop. It found itself surrounded by four stallions, one of whom was the leader of the group. The dark tan stallion with black hair, a safari shirt, and a golden skull cutie mark slowly approached the creature with a smug look of victory. “Well, well, it appears you have nowhere to go, birdie! This baby will make us rich like never before!” he gloated.
However, the tall bird seemed unfazed by the stallion’s ill intentions. Having a happy look on its face, the bird walked up to the stallion and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Meep, meep!” it called. Then it sped off to the jungle again. The stallion however was dumbfounded and amazed by what it did.
“Oh, come on! He got away again!” one of the henchponies shouted.
Regaining focus, Cabellaron growled in frustration and stomped his hooves on the dirt. “This is the tenth time we’ve lost him!! How is that blasted roadrunner so good at avoiding us?!?”
“Hmm... maybe he’s smarter than he looks?” the second henchpony nervously guessed.
Cabellaron smacked him on the head. “Idiot! That bird won’t avoid us again! We just need to be careful and selective of our traps.”
“Think again, Cabellaron!” a voice called out. The stallions looked up and saw a mare in a safari shirt and leather hat swinging on a vine. She landed just in front of her adversaries with a smirk on her face.
“Ahh, Daring Do,” Cabellaron passive-aggressively acknowledged. “How convenient of you to join our little...treasure hunt.”
“I may not know much about this roadrunner, but I do know he doesn’t deserve to be captured by the likes of you. So step aside, and I’ll make sure he gets taken to safety.”
“Ha! We’ll see about that! By the time we get to him first, you’ll never be able to stop us!” Cabellaron boasted.
“Oh, I don’t think so!” Daring Do retorted. She jumped on top of his head, grabbed the vine, and swung off to the trees.
“No! Get her! Don’t let her get to the bird!” Cabellaron ordered. He and his henchmen gave chase as they determined to achieve their prized treasure. However, little did any of them know that a new player was watching this unfold.
A coyote took off his binoculars and scratched his head, thinking about his next course of action. Then he finally got an idea; quickly attaching two vines to two strong branches, he pulled them all the way back as far as he could. Then he let go, propelling himself into the sky. Thus, he was able to have a bird’s eye view of the jungle and see where his elusive prey was.
He finally noticed the Roadrunner eating some seeds on the ground right next to a large tree. Smiling excitedly, he activated his parachute and softly landed on the grass.
Looking at his list, he evilly smirked as he had a perfect idea what to do next. He picked up a dynamite, ignited a match, and lighted the fuse. He threw it right next to Roadrunner and closed his ears.
However, the dynamite failed to explode after the fuse was burned. Roadrunner finished eating and took off once again unharmed. Shocked, Coyote picked up the dynamite to see what was wrong with it. It exploded in his face, causing him to slowly fall on the mud.
Later, Wile E. Coyote grabbed a bazooka and set his sight on Roadrunner who was again eating more seeds underneath a waterfall. Acquiring his target, he aimed the bazooka at his prey while mischievously giggling.
He pulled the trigger, but instead of firing the ammunition towards the intended target, the bazooka blew up in pieces. The minor explosion sent Coyote flying in the air until he crashed his face on a thorny bush. He silently screamed in agony.
Ten minutes later, Coyote set twenty flash-beehives in a circle and attached them to a rope above him. He set the bait in the middle circle he drew and then hid behind a tree.
After a few moments of waiting, the Roadrunner finally arrived in just three seconds and started eating the seeds. Wickedly smiling, Coyote pulled the rope which allowed the hives to fall from their branches.
But instead of falling on the Roadrunner, the hives started floating in the air and flew right toward Coyote. The flash bees exited the hives and set their fierce glares at him, aggressively buzzing. Coyote’s eye pupils shrunk in fear, and his ears fell flat. Gulping, he ran away for his life while the flash bees chased him and eventually stung him repeatedly.
Later on, Coyote wore shoes that had large springs on the bottom. He jumped on them and saw himself reaching high enough to touch the tallest tree in the jungle. Smirking, he jumped on the springs and bounced away to find the Roadrunner.
He suddenly spotted his prey speeding on the trail. He bounced above the fallen tree trunks and was then right behind Roadrunner. He grabbed his knife and fork, wrapped a napkin around his neck, and stuck his tongue out as he was about to finally catch his dinner.
Unfortunately, he crashed against a random tree. He fell on the grass, losing the Roadrunner yet again.
Roadrunner blew raspberries at him and ran off. “Meep, meep!”
Suddenly, Cabellaron and his henchmen jumped in front of him and brandished their ropes. “There you are! Take him!” he ordered them. They jumped on Roadrunner and fought him in a puff of smoke...only for the latter to walk off completely unscathed.
Cabellaron eventually realized that their prize was already gone. Groaning loudly, they all ran after him. However, they were all caught in a net, taking them out of the picture.
“What?! No!! This cannot end like this!” Cabellaron cried.
Roadrunner eventually found himself at a dead end as he was in front of a mountain with the jungle behind him. At that moment, Daring Do confronted him and slowly approached him with caution. “Easy there, big fella. I’m not gonna hurt you. I just need you to come with me, okay? It’s not safe here for you.”
At that moment, Daring Do was struck by a pan on the back of her head. She fell down unconscious which revealed a smug Coyote holding the pan. Then he returned his focus on the bird.
Licking his chops, he grabbed his fork and knife while walking towards the Roadrunner. This was the ultimate moment he has been waiting for, and he was about to finally achieve it after so many failed attempts at catching him.
Then he pounced on his prey and started to eat him. But then...his face turned green and saw that the “Roadrunner” he was chewing was actually a mud-covered mannequin resembling a Roadrunner. He spat out the mud and threw away the dummy.
“Meep, meep!”
He heard the real Roadrunner just above him on top of the mountain. He face-palmed himself and raised up a sign that said, “Why does life hate me so much?” He ran across the mountain and chased him all the way back down to the jungle.
Daring Do then woke up and noticed that the Roadrunner was no longer before her. Confused, she looked back and saw him being chased by Coyote and the latter being stung by bees, crashing against trees, hitting his feet against rocks, and falling face-flat on the mud every time he tried to catch him.
Seeing this, the mare grew an amused smirk. “Huh, looks like that roadrunner knows how to take care of himself after all.”
The Roadrunner winked and continued his pace across the jungle while the beaten Coyote slowed down to catch his breath and then resumed his chase.
“I hate my life,” he muttered.
THE END
Author's Note
I hope you guys enjoyed this one-shot Looney Tunes crossover fic—especially you, A Man Undercover. Happy birthday to you, buddy!
Anyways, stay safe and see you guys next time! Peace!
