Chapters Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 2: Orientation Day (And Politics!)
This… this reaction that Twilight’s friends are giving me is really weird. Is it because I have a human sitting on me?
“Umm, Starlight? What is that thing crushing you? Aren’t you worried you’ll get hurt?” Pinkie Pie asks me, being the first pony in the Elements to comment on my abrupt arrival. She gets up from her chair and trots over towards me slowly. She eyes Noah carefully…and is confused.
“What are you, weird creature? Why are you hurting Starlight?” Pinkie says, in a slightly accusatory fashion.
I notice that Noah shifts his weight a bit, uncomfortable with the fact that he can now understand what my fellow ponies are saying. When I used the Universal Translation Spell, it must have given him a perfect understanding of Ponish! That could prove to be useful…or detrimental. I need to analyze this further! Maybe Princess Twilight will know what the problem is! Regardless, I have a feeling that Noah is going to defend himself. His file says that even though he’s shy and timid, he doesn’t back down from false accusations!
“Actually…whatever your name is. I am not hurting Starlight. According to Starlight’s teacher, which, for all I know, could be you, this was the only way for me to make it to Equestria in the first place. I can’t use magic!”
Noah was very brief with his defense, and I noticed that the other ponies in the room looked really uncomfortable seeing me carrying a human. Pinkie Pie goes back to her chair, and sits down, doodling something on a piece of paper.
“Noah…I think you should climb down now…I don’t want to cause a scene!” I say to him, turning my head to him so we can talk properly.
He shudders: “I…it took me ten minutes to get on. I am not the most agile human. C…can you use that magic you have to help?” He asks, quite bluntly. Twilight chuckles and teleports in front of the two of us. She uses her magic to gently lift Noah off of my body and place him on the floor.
“You can take that silly outfit off, Starlight. I don’t think you are going to need it again!” Twilight says, before realizing she needs to put on her “Statespony” face to talk to my student. Inferring that Twilight wants me to take this “outfit” off, with a flash of my horn, I am back to my old pony self, putting these bizarre items away in my apartment!
Twilight is a bit taller than me since she’s an alicorn. While I don’t need to tilt my head up to talk to her, Noah was a bit terrified seeing an alicorn princess. He tried to look and act brave, but since emotions are my forte, I know he’s quivering in his boots!
“So…Noah. Welcome to Equestria! You are the first “He-you-main” ever to visit! I hope that I can offer you the best hospitality possible under the circumstances. My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I am the Princess of Friendship!” Twilight reaches out her front left hoof to shake with Noah, and it takes him an extra minute to realize that he needs to shake “hands” with the Princess. Noah walks over to me and whispers: “Do I have to bow or anything? I don’t want to look rude!”
I chuckle: “No bowing…at least for today. Go on, shake Twilight’s hoof!” I say softly, using my magic to gently push him towards the alicorn. Hesitantly, he shakes the mare’s hoof.
“Nice to meet you, Noah!” Twilight says, before eyeing her friends with a stink eye. All five of them reply in unison: “Nice to meet you, Noah!” Twilight gives both of us a sheepish grin, and sighs. “They’re not really good with new things. Friendship comes easy to them, but mainly with other ponies. Spike is an exception….oh, right, the program!”
Twilight uses her magic to pull over a much smaller folder with around fifty pages inside. She hands it to Noah, and he looks through it, as the pages magically translate into his language!
“So…while you are here, Noah, you will learn key aspects about Friendship each and every day! While Starlight is your teacher, I will be checking in from time to time in order to ensure everything goes as smoothly as possible. This course will contain both theoretical and practical components. Any questions?”
Noah takes a few minutes to read through the course syllabus before he looks at me. “This stuff seems rather reasonable. Learning how to have a proper conversation, empathy lessons, what to do if something bad happens to a friend…and a GALA? Why would I have to go to a dance?”
Oh, horseapples! I totally forgot that the Grand Galloping Gala is next week, and I guess Noah will have to attend. I remember reading something in his file that states he doesn’t like large crowds or excessive noise…oh well! He’ll figure it out eventually!
I look at him and smile: “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, do you have any questions for Princess Twilight?” He turns around to look at the alicorn princess, and…asks something rather audacious!
“Do you think that I will be able to learn magic?! I saw Starlight do some really cool stuff when she was on my planet, and my life would be a WHOLE lot easier if I could move things with my mind. I assume you can do that also since you have a horn on your head; but do other ponies use magic? Could humans learn mag-”
Twilight interrupts him by putting a wing over his mouth, promptly shutting him up.
“Aww…how cute! The “human” wants to learn magic!” Rarity scoffs from her chair. For a generous pony, she’s sure being a piece of work today!
“Rarity! That’s not very nice of you!” Twilight snaps, to which Rarity shuts up, crossing her gray hooves over her chest in frustration. I guess nopony likes being chastised!
Twilight takes a minute to think about how she should answer this rather strange question posited by Noah. Realizing that she can’t say something too blunt (even though she probably should!), she opens her telepathic line with me:
“Do I tell him that unicorns (and alicorns) are the only ponies who can cast magic directly?” Twilight says, astonished that my student would ask such a strange question.
“You probably should, Princess. This kid doesn’t understand sarcasm or nuance, and if you say something not true, he’ll believe it!”
Well, that was the end of that. Twilight severs the connection, and takes a deep breath, before giving the rather boring news to Noah.
“I don’t think it’s possible, Noah. You see, unicorns can cast magic because of their horns. There are trillions upon trillions of nerve endings in there, and not to mention that unicorn DNA has three helices, while your DNA has two, and-”
Noah actually took this better than I would have thought! He interrupted the princess and said: “It’s okay, Ma’am. I get it. I just thought I’d ask. I mean, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and since making friends is something that I have never been able to do before, I thought I’d ask something else that was impossible!”
Woah…I didn’t expect that kind of answer. This guy’s smart! Apparently, this response was so riveting that Fluttershy began to cry!
“Aww! He’s so cute and innocent! Can’t there be a way for him to learn magic? He didn’t even think Friendship was possible!” It’s typical of Fluttershy to be the empathetic pony. What I am still unsure of is whether this empathy is genuine, or the kind of affection she shows to her animal companions.
Twilight also wasn’t expecting such a moving response, and this actually took her back for a moment! She promptly asks an additional question.
“Noah…I am very interested in learning more about your species. Can I…I know it sounds silly, but I need a DNA sample from you so I can see what your species is and how it works, the potential for evolution, and whatnot. Anyways, my question is: can I have one hair? Maybe your DNA could work with magic, but I won’t know for sure unless I take my time and look over the raw data!”
I could tell that Noah wanted to laugh, but he realized that the alicorn was serious as the day was long. He uncomfortably plucked a hair from his head and handed it to Twilight, who promptly enveloped it in her magic’s grasp and teleported away!
“Noah, don’t worry, she does this kind of stuff all the time, she should be back in a few minutes. Knowing her, maybe five or ten?” I tell him, as he continues to look at the curriculum Twilight developed for him.
“It seems our first lesson today is Listening. When do we get started on that?” He asked me. I grab the syllabus from him and look it over.
“Whenever Twilight gets back with your DNA and answers your question, I think we can get started promptly afterward!”
While the two of us are waiting, Noah is unsure about what to do. Mostly he is just staring at the Cutie Map, fascinated with this piece of magical technology and its potential uses. As much as I want to explain how it works to him, seeing Noah in this state of foallike wonder is really endearing!
“What…what is that thing?” Noah asks anypony who is willing to listen.
“Oh, that’s a cutie map, weird guy. It shows us where there are Friendship Problems and who’s best suited to solve them. Usually involving a bit of action!” Rainbow Dash says quickly.
“I don’t think that would make sense to a creature who’s never seen magic before, sugarcube.” Applejack pipes in, before Twilight teleports back into the Cutie Map room, holding a glowing test tube in her magic, goggles perspiring with tears of joy!
“SWEET CELESTIA HUMAN DNA IS INSANE!” Twilight says, fluttering in the air with joy. Quickly spawning her notebook, she writes down all of her findings rather quickly and shows them to me. I take her notebook and realize what’s so exciting:
Human DNA cannot create magic, but it can channel magic. This means that if Noah wanted to learn simple spells like telekinesis, “Want it, Need it”, or even matter manipulation, he could, as long as another pony provides him with a small bit of magic to store in his body!
I look at my student, who is wondering what the hubbub is all about, and I smile at him.
“It looks like you might be able to learn some magic, BUT only if another pony gives you permission. MAYBE if you do well with your Friendship Studies, I can teach you something, but Friendship Lessons come first. Understood?”
Noah takes a minute to process this new information and then does something…drastic. He hugs me! I take it the poor adolescent hasn’t seen much affection in his life, because he’s hugging me so hard that I am having a bit of trouble breathing.
“I am glad you're happy, Noah, but we have our first friendship lesson to start. We can do it at my place, but nothing’s going to happen if you just stand there hugging me like a dope!” I tell him, gently separating our two bodies. I have to admit, I find him cute…not in a foalhood crush kind of way, but in a “I want to help him” kind of way. I wonder what he thinks?
“Well, that just about settles it. I hereby inaugurate the first-ever Friendship Exchange program with the race known as “humans”. Good luck, Noah, and I hope you can learn the Magic of Friendship! OOH! I almost forgot something,” Twilight says, quickly handing me another piece of paper that was on her throne at the head of the Cutie Map.
I look at the paper and see that it’s a check for exactly 10,000 bits.
“That should be enough for thirty days living stipends for Noah…although he COULD live with you, if he wants to…besides, he might want clothes, or food, or a book to read…or-”
Noah smiles with a sense of relief: “I was wondering how I was going to be able to eat around here. I appreciate the offer! I don’t know what the real estate near here is like, but I do know that even if I lounge around Starlight’s place, I am going to need food! Thank you so much for the kind stipend, Ma’am!”
Rarity is impressed with the lad’s manners! “Well well well, it looks like someone is going to pass my etiquette class with flying colors! But…I cannot know for sure. We’ll reconvene in three days’ time for that lesson. We’re going to have so much fun, Darling!”
We both smile, and I lead the way towards my apartment, Noah following me close by. Noah is much more fit than I am because he’s already down one whole flight of stairs in the castle while I am barely halfway down! I can’t believe how much I relied on teleporting in the past. I could use the exercise! Noah is kind enough to wait for me to make my way down the first flight before continuing, although I wonder if that is for his own benefit because he doesn’t know where anything is.
“So, Starlight, I have a question for you. Who are you exactly? I mean, you know a lot about me, but I don’t know a lot about you. While I am not a Friendship expert, far from it, in fact, I’d wager that knowing a bit about someone…or in this case…somepony would be a good place to start. It could very well tie in with listening!” I have to give Noah credit. When he wants to be smart, he’s very smart, but he needs to work on the delivery of his questions! We continue to walk down the stairs as I give him a little rundown of my life.
“Well. I wasn’t always a Friendship teacher. You are my first student, and before I even knew Twilight, I was actually the mayor of a quaint little town, where everypony was equal in Harmony!” Of course, I have to add my revisionist history to this. Poor boy won’t care or know the difference! What are the odds he even knows about the Staff of Sameness, anyways?
He is a bit startled by this revelation but doesn’t make much of this new information.
“Go on, Starlight, I am listening. ” He says, snidely at that. Oh well, might as well continue anyways.
“Oh, sure thing! Do you see the mark I have on my flank?” I ask him quite bluntly. He stops walking and chuckles. “You want me to look at your butt? No thank you, Miss Starlight. I am not a pervert!”
Aww…how cute! I am starting to grow on the human. He’s a fun one, at that.
“Not my buttocks , silly, my flank, where my body meets my legs. There is a distinction there. All ponies have them, and they are colloquially known as “Cutie Marks.” Each pony has their own Cutie Mark, signaling what makes them unique, and they usually come around the time a pony hits puberty. In my town…nopony had Cutie Marks, because that makes everypony equal, and that way nopony would think they were better or worse than somepony else!”
Obviously, I am not going to go into the finer details about this, but I will entertain whatever questions Noah has.
“That…that sounds like Communism, Starlight. Back on my planet, a few countries tried that, and millions upon millions of humans died, either through mass murder, negligence, or both! From what little information I have about your town, it seems that if nopony had any cutie marks then they didn’t have passion for anything. What would have made them special? A free-market economy is the best way to ensure that passions can be developed, and for money to be made by everyone. Everypony wins!”
WHY THAT LITTLE CAPITALIST SCUM… -right. Noah thinks I was just part of the system, not the one who put it into place.
“Yeah…I was “saved” by Twilight Sparkle and her five friends. It was actually the first mission of that Cutie Map you saw earlier. It’s crazy, actually how things turn out.”
I…I am really stunned. How can anyone be as smart as this human and fall for such fallow nonsense! Even Twilight Sparkle conceded that a few of my ideas were noteworthy, but the application wasn’t done properly! Ugh…I will save his soul later, first I will give him friends!
“Anyways…before that, I was a bit like you, actually. I didn’t have many friends, and the one friend that I had wasn’t that nice to me, even though I was nice to him! I understand how you feel, and I think that you did a good job with Friendship Lesson #1, and we haven’t even left the castle yet!” Well, that technically isn’t true, because we made our way to the front gate, and we’re waiting for the guards to lower the drawbridge.
As we were waiting, I had a crazy idea. It’s amazing what hindsight can do! While I initially found it weird at first, the concept of having a human sit on me is…interesting. I have a lot of sore muscles, and for the first time in ages, I wasn’t tense in my shoulders! Is it the extra weight? Is it psychological? I really don’t know! Nah, I won’t ask him again until later. He’ll think I am a creep. The pegasi guards finally lower the drawbridge, and the two of us walk out quietly. Once we made our way off of Twilight’s property, the rest of the walk was met with…staring , both at me and towards Noah. I am used to ponies staring at me because of what kind of a jerk I was, but I felt bad for Noah. He didn’t deserve to be stared at. I’m glad these ponies are nice enough to not say anyth-
“WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA IS THAT THING?!” A small, orange pegasus filly exclaims to her two friends.
“I…I don’t know, what do you think, Sweetie Belle?” the second one asks.
“Beats me…what I know is that, if whatever that thing is is hanging out with Starlight Glimmer, I worry for its sanity!”
Noah definitely heard that last comment from Sweetie Belle, and he wanted to say something, but I gave him a look and he kept his muzzle…er…his mouth shut. Save for those three annoying ponies, the rest of the walk was quiet, and we finally made our way up the rickety stairs to my flat. Using my magic to open the door, Noah walks around and is a bit concerned at how tidy my place is.
“I…I would kill to have a house this neat, Starlight. I am horrible with executive functioning, and-”
I put a hoof on his shoulder and pointed to the bathroom: “Wash your face. You’re sweaty. When you’re done, come back here and I’ll show you where my books are.”
It didn’t take more than that to get Noah to listen to me. He goes to the bathroom, promptly washes his face, and comes back, forgetting to dry his face completely. I am happy that the water isn’t dripping everywhere, especially on the wooden floor! I don’t want it to warp again!
“So…where are your books, anyways? Also, it’s around lunchtime. What is there to eat around here?” He asks me, looking outside my window to see what there is to see.
“How about…pizza? Margarita the Pizza Pegasus delivers, and I am sure that humans like pizza as much as ponies do!” I say genially. Come on, it’s his first day, give the boy some comfort food!
“I am always down for pizza, Starlight. Now, about those books? ANY ON MAGIC?!”
I chuckle, and I point to my bookshelf across the hall. Quickly casting the Universal Translation Spell, my entire library is now in Noah’s native language. He picks up the first tome he sees and sits down on the faux-leather sofa, and begins to read “Magic for Derpies”.
Oh, I remember that book from my foalhood! While he’s reading, I make sure to use my unicorn frequencies to place the pizza order. I’m taking my usual: Green olives with cherry cola, and…well since everypony’s equal, Noah will have the same! I am sure he won’t mind. Besides, he’s cute. I don’t think that’ll be a problem for him.
“Hmmm. Law of Equivalent Exchange. We have something like that back on Earth. It’s called Alchemy!” I hear Noah exclaim, my ears perking up at the sudden shift in noise.
“Well, alchemy is a kind of magic- wait, I thought humans don’t have magic?” I ask him, a bit confused by the change of pace.
“They don’t. The alchemy didn’t work, but it gave us some advancements in early technology!” He says promptly. I really am starting to like the human, but not physically! I like his intellect. He was able to counter my beliefs, as stupid as his are, and can pick up advanced concepts in a jiffy!
I think Friendship Lessons will go just fine …Let’s just hope he wants to be my friend!
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 3: Friendship Lesson #1 (And an Annoying Showpony!)
Finally! I have been waiting like an idiot with this purple pony teacher for food, and I hear a quiet knock on Starlight’s door.
“Uh…did somepony order a pizza?” A quiet voice says, as Starlight uses a spell to magically open the door, revealing a pegasus wearing a saddlebag holding our lunch. It smells really good! Starlight trots towards the delivery pony and smiles.
“Thank you for the delivery. What is the rate for tips these days? I haven’t ordered pizza in ages!” Starlight asks curiously, using magic to summon her wallet and checking how much money she has. I remember Starlight telling me that the money here is called “bits”.
“Five percent is the custom in Ponyville…but Rarity usually gives ten percent. If you give five percent…your total is twenty-five bits!” She replies as Starlight takes out exactly two gold-colored coins. I’d assume one of them is a twenty-bit coin, and the other one is a five-bit coin? Only time will tell! The meringue-colored pegasus with these rather adorable crossed eyes unloads her saddlebag with the food and gently places it on the marble vestibule. Starlight receives the paper bag with the food using her magic and gently places it on the dining room table. The deliverypony smiles, packs up her wares, and flies away…rather clumsily at that!
Starlight closes the door, and then quietly chuckles. It was loud enough for me to hear it, but thank goodness the door was closed!
“That was…well we all call her Derpy Hooves, but her real name is Muffins. She’s…well she’s a bit delayed, but we all pitch in to make her feel welcome.” Starlight says before I make my way over to the dining room table. The chairs are rather nice, being made out of oak wood, and are extremely well polished! This flat looks much nicer on the inside! I decide to do something rather unorthodox, and I pull out a chair for Starlight before I pull a chair for myself. The unicorn noticed this and smiled.
“I am glad you thought of me before yourself. That means you’re learning something already! Okay okay…no Friendship talk until we’re done eating. Enjoy! I got pizza with green olives!”
Wait…Pizza with green olives? Why didn’t she ask me what toppings I wanted? If she read my file, which I know she did, she’d know I like my pizza plain!
“Um, Miss Starlight?” I ask quietly.
“Please, just Starlight. No formality is needed. We’re friends, at least, we’re going to be friends! I am only a teacher by name, don’t think of me like royalty or anything.” She says quite nonchalantly. I do admire the mare’s bluntness!
“Okay then…just Starlight . Why didn’t you ask me what toppings I would have wanted on my pizza?”
I wasn’t trying to poke a nerve or anything, but Starlight looked rather cross.
“I forgot to ask you, Noah. I’m sorry.” She gave me a half-hearted apology, almost like she wanted green olive pizza, but I want to keep the peace. I am not going to make this into a big deal like an angry toddler.
“It’s fine, Starlight. It’s really fine.” I say. Finally, we both sit down at the table, and Starlight uses her magic to not only open up the pizza box, but also to put paper plates and serve both of us with her mind! It’s honestly really cool how versatile this magic is, and if what Twilight said is correct, then perhaps my DNA could channel a small amount of it to do simple tasks. That would be really cool, but I am starving. I take a small bite of the slice of pizza that is on my plate and savor it. The flavors are swimming in my mouth…I don’t think I’ve ever had pizza that was this good!
“Starlight…I am something of a pizza connoisseur. I love pizza, and I ate it all the time back home. This is actually the best pizza I have ever had in my life! How do you ponies make such good food?!”
Starlight chuckles at my profound pizza statement:
“Magic, silly! Our ovens run on magic, so they can optimally cook the pizza to the perfect temperature and for the right amount of time. I mean, that’s what Margarita the Pizza Pegasus’ chain is known for, anyway!”
Starlight says, mouth still chewing pizza. I am glad I can at least parse out what she’s trying to say. I don’t have the best table manners, so this “talking while eating” thing doesn’t really phase me. I do it, too! Starlight finishes her morsel and then takes a sip of the can of “Colta-Cola” that is in front of her. Do I tell her that the name sounds…somewhat familiar? Nah! I have one, too, and I drink it. It’s much cooler and more cherry-tasting than the coke I have at home! First meal on a magical pony planet, and I can already say the food here is better than at home!
The two of us finish our lunch, and we have a fair amount of pizza leftover since we must have ordered an extra large pizza by mistake. I ask Starlight where the refrigerator is, and she points behind her to the kitchenette. Using her magic, she gets out a giant Zip-Loc bag and puts the few slices inside, sealing it.
“Go put it in the fridge, and then we’ll get started on the Listening Lesson!” Starlight says in a rather sing-song voice. Not being one to disobey someone (or somepony, as the case may be), I take the Zip-Loc bag and place it in the fridge-freezer carefully, before returning to my seat. I still have a bit of soda left, so I drink while I listen to my teacher.
“Alright, Noah. While we were walking to my place, we did a pretty good job at establishing the foundation of Listening. Listening is not just being able to hear what somepony has to say, but also being able to pay attention, as well. A lot of ponies say that they are able to listen well, but they don’t. Here’s a short exercise: I am going to tell you five things about myself, and you are going to listen, and I mean actively listen. Then, you are going to say in your own words what I told you. Okay?”
Sounds simple enough. This exercise is actually something I practice a lot with my therapist back at home for “real-life school”, as she calls it. I am getting better, but maybe a talking unicorn can do better than someone with a Ph.D.?
“Okay, Starlight. I am all ears.” I say promptly. Clearing her throat, Starlight begins to speak.
“Okie Dokie: So, I told you about Cutie Marks before, but I never told you about how I got mine. I tried performing a really hard spell to make a pony equal to another, and it just showed up! I was around thirteen at the time, if I recall correctly? I’m nineteen now! In fact, I am exactly six months older than you! In terms of what I like to do when I am not working with Princess Twilight, I love to read, especially historical fiction, and I like to be politically involved! I am sure you can deduce where I stand on most issues. Now…Did you pay attention?”
Of course, I paid attention. The question is, will my anxiety get in the way of completing this first Friendship Lesson, or will I be able to pull it off?
“Yes, Starlight. I paid attention. You explained how you got your Cutie Mark, by trying to make another pony equal. I guess that Cutie Marks develop when a pony not only finds their talent but manifests it in real-time. You were thirteen years old when you got your Cutie Mark, and you are exactly six months older than me. Like me, you are an avid reader and appreciate history for the lessons it can teach us in the present. As for your political advocacy, let’s just agree to disagree. How’d I do?”
Starlight’s eyes light up comically, with actual stars forming in place of her irises and pupils.
“You did great! I am really glad that you were able to listen to what I said. I guess you must be an okay listener! Now, we’re going to switch things up a bit. I want you to tell me five things about yourself, and I will listen to you, and repeat what you said in my own words!”
I was actually about to begin when the two of us heard yet another knock on the door.
“THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE DEMANDS ENTRANCE!”
The Great and Powerful What-Now? Is this some kind of cosmic joke? I mean, I am in a magical land of talking ponies who can use magic, fly, and do many things that are impossible on Earth, but the Great and Powerful-.
Starlight groans in annoyance, promptly getting up from her chair, going to open the door. I take it these two ponies know each other? The door opens, and I see one of Starlight’s kin. Another unicorn, wearing a funny-looking hat and regal cape. She’s dark blue! That’s a new one!
“And who the hell are you?” I ask, unsure about why my Friendship Lesson was abruptly interrupted.
“This…is the GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE! Trixie is one of the most talented magicians in all of Equestria, and she heard that there is a resident alien in Starlight’s house!”
Resident alien? LOL! I mean I am an alien, but… never mind, the joke will go over Trixie’s head, probably?
“Trixie came to ask the mystery “human” if he wants to be in my magic show tomorrow night!” The rather linguistically impaired unicorn asks me.
“Magic show…huh? What exactly do you need me to do-”
“DON’T ENGAGE, NOAH, DON’T. BUCKING. ENGAGE! Trixie is going to-”
Trixie smiles, and performs a spell that literally zips Starlight’s mouth shut! How comical!
“Trixie wanted to show the human what Equestria’s finest are capable of! Trixie assures that all of the spells that will be performed are safe and effective!”
The fact that Trixie has to reiterate the alleged safety of her performance has me rather concerned. I don’t want to become a pumpkin or anything! Besides, I get the feeling that Trixie is a lot of talk and not a lot of action. I used to be like that when I was younger, so I get where the blue unicorn is coming from. She invites herself inside and plops herself onto the sofa, picking up a magazine with her magic.
Starlight closes the door and sighs: “Trixie…is kind of my friend? We do stuff together every now and then, but she can get on my nerves sometimes!”
Huh…I believe the term for such a relationship is a friendly rivalry, or even “frenemies”? Then again, I am literally in a Friendship School, so I trust that Starlight knows the correct terminology for various kinds of friendships?
“So…Trixie wants to know what your name is. Maybe Trixie can make a friend?”
I am quite tempted to ask Trixie why she speaks about herself in the third person, but if unicorns’ magic are controlled by their emotions, and I upset another one, I could be in deep sh-.
“Of course Trixie can try and make a new friend. In fact, we’re just finishing up our first Friendship Lesson, which is all about listening!” Starlight says, interrupting my thought process. I have to get used to this, I guess?
Using her magic, Starlight gently nudges me towards Trixie and places me on the sofa, one cushion next to her.
“Trixie…this is Noah. he is my first ever student in the Friendship Exchange Program with humans. He’s practicing the skill of listening! Maybe you can practice with him? Noah, say five things about yourself, and see if Trixie can listen and say in her own words what you said? Now it’s your turn!”
My turn…huh? I mean, in order to listen, you also have to share information yourself, I guess?
“Okay…Trixie. My name is Noah. I am a human. Humans have no magic, although Princess Twilight told me that we’re able to channel magic, not create it. This means that if Starlight wanted to, she could teach me simple spells if she imbues my body with a small morsel of magic. I want to be a lawyer if I ever make my way back home, and pizza is one of my favorite foods! Finally, I am becoming quite interested in studying magic, if my teacher Starlight will give me the opportunity!”
Trixie takes a minute to process all of the information that I just told her, and using a spell of some sort, begins writing down some notes on a piece of paper. After scribbling something down in that same illegible pony language, she clears her throat and begins her reply.
“Okay…Trixie heard that your name is Noah, you are a human, and you are learning the Magic of Friendship from Glimmy over here.”
Starlight sighs annoyed that Trixie used that obnoxious nickname in front of her student. She lights up her horn and gives Trixie a stink eye, which promptly causes Trixie to change course and correct herself:
“Trixie means…Starlight…over here.”
Starlight calms down and signals to her “frenemy” that she may continue.
“Right…Starlight is your teacher, and Trixie thinks that’s really cool! You want to study law if you go back to your boring world, and you like to eat pizza! Trixie thinks that if you had the chance, you would stay in Equestria, and maybe even learn magic. THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE would be more than happy to assist you in this regard, and-.”
“Well well well…the showpony has a good ear, I see. He’s not learning any magic until he finishes his Friendship Studies, and YOU are not going to teach him. If I am not teaching him, it will probably be one of the Princesses. I have a feeling they would be keen on meeting Noah. In fact, I am pretty sure that on day four of our program, you are going to Canterlot to meet Princess Celestia! Rarity is doing table manners with you that day so you don’t look like a dolt in front of the Princess! Anyways, I am getting ahead of myself. Trixie…We’ll attend your show, but I don’t want Princess Twilight to be on my flank about putting the only human in Equestria in clear and present danger! I am sure you understand that!”
Clear and Present danger, huh. I had a feeling about that. All talk and no-.
“Trixie will give you two free tickets! Come by Trixie’s trailer thirty minutes before the show!”
And with that, she teleports away, as if she was never here in the first place. I have to admit, Ponyville has a cast of colorful characters, both figuratively and literally! Regardless, I get the feeling that Trixie’s impromptu visit put my teacher and friend-to-be in a rather foul mood since she just sighed and trotted off to her bedroom. I could have sworn that I heard her screaming into a pillow, but I am not going to double-check. While I am waiting for her to come back, I continue my book on magic, and see if there is anything interesting to learn!
Hmm…Telekinesis. One of the first spells a unicorn learns. Apparently, all you need to do is perfectly visualize what object you want to manipulate in your mind, and slowly but surely, your magic gains control over it! The way the diagrams describe it makes it look easy, but I am not going to assume that!
I don’t know how long I have been reading, but eventually, I see Starlight make her way back to the living room of the flat, and she collapses on the sofa, in tears.
“I can’t do anything right! I just want to teach you Friendship and Trixie has to make everything about herself! What did I do, where did I go wrong?!”
She is sobbing her poor pony heart out, and I feel powerless. I want to do something, but I am afraid that if I say anything, I could make it worse. Regardless, I feel really bad for her. Starlight is trying her best to teach me valuable life skills, and Trixie had to barge in and make things worse. I know she’s not an animal (I mean she is, but…like a pet), but I do something drastic. I walk over towards Starlight and begin to stroke her mane, trying to console her.
Her ears perk up, possibly instinctively, possibly out of choice, and she turns her head towards me, trying to muster out a smile. She takes her front hoof and tries to wipe the tears off of her face.
“You…you listened . Not only did you listen, but you established empathy with me. I…I thought that would be weeks away, possibly not even until the end of the course! Are…are you my friend?” She asks me, using magic to grab a Kleenex to blow her nose.
“Uh…I mean you are my teacher, and I have to keep things professional, I think? But yeah, I’d call you my friend, and my first friend, at that.”
Hearing that reply makes the unicorn in front of me cry even harder, although I have a feeling that these are tears of joy, not sadness.
“N…Noah…you’re so sweet! I think you did great today in our first Friendship Lesson. But…but I need some time to compose myself, I am sure that you can understand.”
I get up, no longer stroking her mane, and give the unicorn some personal, or in this case, pony space. Slowly but surely, the unicorn returns to her normal emotional state and checks the wooden grandfather clock opposite the two of us. It’s already suppertime!
“Oh, horseapples! It’s suppertime, and I didn’t prepare anything for us to eat! I can make a salad or something, is that alright with you, Noah?”
I nod, and Starlight goes into the kitchenette and quickly tries to whip up supper for the two of us. Is horseapples a pony curse word? I don’t know, but it sounds funny! It takes ten or fifteen minutes (and a rather large mess!) but eventually Starlight comes out of the kitchenette, with a caesar salad in a wooden bowl being transported telekinetically to the dining room table; which still has the pizza box on it! Quickly realizing that I need to clean up, I make my way to the table and gather all of the garbage, and put it in the trash next to the table. This gives Starlight enough space to place the bowl on the table.
“Where are the bowls? I’ll get them for you, Starlight.” I ask, trying to lend a helping hand. Starlight did plenty of work today, so if I can do something nice in return, that would make it even.
“Second cabinet on your left. Don’t trip!” She says, withholding a chuckle. I get up from my chair and mosey over towards the cabinets, which border the kitchenette and the living room. I open the second cabinet on my left and see colorful ceramic bowls. They look really nice, and they are assorted in all the colors visible to the naked eye! I carefully remove two bowls from the cabinet, and walk over to the table, putting them at our respective seats. I quickly remember that I left the cabinet doors open, so I return to close them, before finally sitting down.
“You forgot cutlery and glasses, Noah!” Starlight says in a singsong voice, as she casts a spell that gives both of us our utensils, along with two glasses and a pitcher of ice water.
“S…sorry, Starlight. I am not good with planning stuff, and-”
“It’s alright. I know…executive functioning and all that. Now…I was planning on teaching you the telekinesis spell as a consolation prize for dealing with Trixie, but I am too tired today. What I can do is tell you what our next Friendship Lesson is for tomorrow!”
Ooh! That’s right. This is a course where I learn things each and every day!
“So, what are we going to learn, Glimmy ? I ask playfully, finding that name to be quite humorous. The mare’s face turned blood red…I wasn’t expecting that, for sure not!
“N…Noah…you’re so silly!” She says, quickly composing herself to be more professional. Grabbing her fork with magic, she begins to eat her salad, and I do so as well.
“So…what is the lesson for tomorrow?” I ask Starlight as she finishes her morsel.
“Friendship Lesson #2: Trust Building! I wasn’t sure how exactly to tackle this one, so I wrote a quick letter to Princess Twilight while I was…in my mood . She promptly wrote back, saying we should go for a walk in the Everfree Forest! Nopony knows what goes on there, and if anything happens to us, we’ll have each other to look out for. Won’t that be fun!”
I take a slow sip of my water, thinking about this mystical forest. Are there dangerous entities there? I don’t know. What I do know is that my idea of trust-building would have been Truth or Dare, but then again… that’s a stupid kid’s game. I should leave this to the pedagogical experts!
“Alright. That sounds reasonable. Any idea what time it is? I am exhausted!” I ask my teacher, who checks the grandfather clock again.
“9:00 pm, on the nose. I’m ready for bed. We can wash the dishes in the morning!”
Bed…bed…BED! That’s right. Where the hell am I going to sleep?
“Uhh, Starlight? I have a question.”
She nods, urging me to continue.
“Where the heck am I going to sleep? I don’t see any other beds, and I think it would be weird to sleep in your bed…I am not a baby…or your paramour…”
Hearing the word “paramour” made Starlight blush again, but she’s more subtle about it this time. With a quick flash of her horn, the sofa rearranges itself as a hide-a-bed, with sheets fully made!
“Here you go! I forgot to do this earlier. I’ll give you privacy when you get changed and shower. In fact, you can go first!”
Well, I can take a hint. I go to the rather small bathroom, take off my clothes, and get into the shower. While I was in the shower, I could have sworn that I heard the scratching of paper, almost like somebody was writing something down! Maybe it’s leaky pipes? I don’t know, but I know that so far, this Equestria place isn’t that bad! I don’t know how much hot water there is, but I couldn’t have been in the shower for more than ten minutes! When I got out and put on a towel, I realized something…quite serious: When I agreed to travel to Equestria, I didn’t pack any clothing! That’s not good! I hear a woosh sound, and a note is slid under the bathroom door. I pick it up and see that it’s magically translating to English. When that’s done, I see what it says:
“I just realized that you don’t have any clothes! While you were in the shower, I went back to “Mount-ree-ale” to pack up all of your stuff. I organized all your clothes in the drawers next to your hide-a-bed, and you are good for the rest of your stay! Sorry about that!”
Well…that makes things easier. I take it that Starlight was kind enough to stay in her bedroom while I got out of the shower. I open the top drawer, and I see all my clothes from back home, including my pajamas! Quickly putting on my pajamas, I climb into my hide-a-bed, as Starlight realizes that I am now clothed. Quickly making her way back to the living room, she smiles.
“Forgot something, Noah?”
Right!
“Thank you, Starlight Glimmer, for bringing me all of my clothes!”
She chuckles, “You're welcome. Sleep well. We have a BIG day tomorrow. Everfree trip AND Trixie’s magic show. Sleep well!” She trots off back to her bedroom, as I roll over onto my side. It finally hits me that I am not dreaming. I am actually in a world with talking ponies. One of them is teaching me about Friendship. Also, if I am not totally crazy, I think Starlight has the hots for me!
Whatever…she’s nice, I guess?
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 4: Friendship Lesson #2: Trust Building (And Throwing Books With Your Mind!)
I…Love…Noah!
I don’t know how else to describe it, but I find him to be so cute! Again, I am not attracted to him, at least I don’t think I am. However, he’s smart, he has potential, and I think I can make a stallion out of him in due time! I certainly didn’t expect going back to his planet and gathering all of his clothes like some common workpony! But then again, this past year has taught me that you should expect the unexpected. The human snores in his sleep! It’s rather cute! While I didn't stalk him or anything, I did trot over to my hide-a-bed to see if he was still okay, and thank goodness he is!
I…I want to help him be happy! I just don’t want to do it in a way that makes me look like a creep! Maybe I am just lonely from Sunburst breaking up with me after I found him cheating with another mare…Noah doesn’t deserve to be objectified, but he does deserve my hoof in Friendship! I just hope that Trixie doesn’t make a fool of herself tomorrow night. Knowing Noah, any magic he sees will impress him, and probably encourage him to ask Trixie more…She’s so annoying!
It doesn’t matter, anyways. I need a good night’s sleep if I am going to have any chance at teaching Noah about how to build trust. If something happens tomorrow, Celestia help the both of us! I finally crash into my bed, using magic to fluff up my favorite pillow; and I roll over and try to fall asleep as fast as possible. Please let tomorrow be a good day; not for me, but for my student!
THE NEXT MORNING
Celestia’s sun peeks through my blinds, ticking my face with sunlight. It immediately wakes me up, and I try to see what time it is. I check the small clock on my night table and see that it is 7:00 AM. Not bad! Usually, I sleep in much later, and Twilight has always had my flank for being late for Friendship Lessons. I guess it’s a good thing I am a graduate now. Regardless, I get out of bed, realizing that my mane is a mess! Even unicorns can make static electricity without casting magic! I make my way to the bathroom to try and clean up my mane. It takes a few minutes, no more than five or six, and I am finally looking normal again.
I wonder what my student is up to? When I am finally out of the bathroom, I go to the living room and see my little human is still asleep! I might take a page out of Princess Celestia’s playbook and prank him, but I don’t want him to get mad at me before we even start our day! Trotting around the hall, debating my next course of action, I decide the best way to go forward is to kindly wake him up, with no pranks!
I make my way to the edge of the hide-a-bed, and my horn ignites with magic. Slowly but surely, pull the blankets off of Noah, bringing a cool, gentle draft of wind towards his bipedal body. He instinctively shudders and begins to wake up.
“Ugh…Glimmy …what time is it? How long did I sleep?” Noah asks me, his voice still raspy from the wonders of REM sleep. Wait…did he call me Glimmy again? Am…am I blushing? I think I might be blushing! Why do I find this to be cute? Maybe he’s pulling my tail with this, I don’t know!
I clear my throat and reply.“It’s 7:00 AM, Noah. We have a very busy day filled with magic and Friendship. If we’re on schedule, we can be in the Everfree Forest for our trust-building lesson at 8:00 AM.”
He slowly sits up from his state of slumber and rubs his eyes with those fancy fingers he has. Once he’s done doing that, his eyes widen.
“Okay…Starlight. I wasn’t dreaming. I am actually here, right?” Noah asks me, a bit alarmed. Why is he alarmed? He did great yesterday. I think he’s wonderful!
“Nope. You are in Ponyville, in my apartment, learning about Friendship with Your’s Truly. In fact, it’s time for breakfast. What do you want to have?” I have to be a good host. Even though I am a rather poor cook, I do need to eat. And now there are two of us here, instead of just me!
“Well, what do you have? Do you have cereal? Oatmeal? Yogurt?” Noah asks. I take a minute to think about what delectable treats I have in my pantry, and using my magic, I open the cabinets and take out a box of “Luna-Os”. Noah’s eyes widened. I guess they have this kind of oat-based cereal on Earth?
“WOAH! That looks almost exactly like the cereal I eat at home. Do you care if I have some?” Noah asks me, quickly getting out of bed and making his way to the cabinet. He grabs two bowls and puts them on the dining room table. He looks back at the mess from last night and wonders whether he should do anything more to help.
“Starlight, do you need me to wash dishes or something?” He asks me, clearly more than willing to step out of his comfort zone. Noah doesn’t seem like the kind of human who is fond of domestic work, so hearing him offer a helping hand was very surprising! I take it he wants to show his gratitude?
“Actually, I got cleanup duty. Just eat your breakfast and get dressed, so we can go have our second Friendship Lesson today, alright?” That put my student at ease, as he pours himself a bowl of “Luna-O’s”. I briskly enter the kitchenette, using magic to expedite the cleaning process from last night’s supper. While I can hear him chewing his cereal, I think his table manners are above par! Most stallions that I have seen eat like slobs! Maybe humans are just better eaters?
“Starlight, do you have anything to drink? I have a few pills that I need to take in the morning, and they go down much easier when I have something to drink.”
It’s a good thing that I looked at Noah’s file when I made my return trip to “Mount-ree-ale.” I rummaged through his medicine cabinet and brought all of his toiletries here, too! I give great service. All I ask in return is for kindness and Friendship!
“I brought your pills with me when I picked up your clothes. I put them in the bathroom. As for beverages, This is Ponyville, apple cider flows here like water. Rest assured I only drink the non-alcoholic variety, so you can have it with your medication!”
Noah is a very interesting character. Due to his “Asperger’s” and “Attention Deficit Disorder”, he has to take several different types of medicine in the day to function properly. I don’t know exactly what they are called, but Twilight wrote in his file that he needs them every day to function properly! I think they are called “SSRIs”? Anyways, I spawn the jug of apple cider onto the table, as Noah goes into the bathroom and brings out a pill vial. He doles out three green tablets and puts the vial back where he found it. Sitting down at the table, he pours himself a glass of cider and swallows his medicine, before drinking the cold beverage.
Now’s as good a time as any for my sorry flank to eat something! I am glad Noah brought out bowls and spoons since I am also in the mood for “Luna-Os” today. Sitting down in my chair I do something a bit unorthodox. I use my hooves to pour the cereal, rather than my magic! Twilight told me I am becoming too reliant on it, although that’s rich coming from her! Taking my time to eat my cereal, I try to think about a casual conversation to have with my new roommate…
“So, Starlight, I have a question for you. Yesterday you said that as a consolation for dealing with Trixie, you would teach me a simple spell. I take it you are an honest mare, so do you think we can try that before we go gallivanting in the Everfree Forest?” He asks me quite bluntly. The boy is determined, that’s for sure. It’s kind of a turn-on…er…nevermind.
“Sure,but let me warn you, magic is tied to life energy. When you use magic, you can’t just use it and expect no consequences. When most unicorn foals first start learning magic, they get very tired after performing even the easiest and most elementary spells. Don’t complain if you get tired!” I chuckle, and he also starts to chuckle, although I take it he read that key fact in “Magic for Derpies”, as well.
“Alright. I am going to imbue your body with the smallest possible amount of magic . In order for me to do this, I need you to…well…hug me? Magic can only be transferred to another with direct bodily contact.”
I have no quarrel lying to him about this. I could just as easily give him this teeny bit of magic from across the flat, but I want a hug! He’s so cute and snuggly and…I am getting ahead of myself here. I don’t even know if he likes me like that! I just want the best for him, which could also be the best for me! He hesitantly gets up from his chair and makes his way over to me. I can tell that he feels a bit uncomfortable about this, but hey, he’s the one who wanted to learn magic? He slowly but surely walks towards me, and cautiously embraces me. He’s hugging me. He’s so cute and snuggly! I immediately hug him back and begin stroking his back to soothe him, Or am I soothing myself? Regardless, a promise is a promise, and I light up my horn, a tiny spark of magic exits the tip, and floats down towards his chest, entering it. While my body is warm, and he is a bit cooler, I feel his body warm up slightly.
This could be one of two possible outcomes. Either this is his body’s immune system reacting negatively to the magic, expelling it from the body, or the magic bonding with the strands of his DNA, giving it the third helix needed to channel magic. Well…Noah isn’t convulsing on the floor, blood spilling out of his nostrils…so I guess it’s the latter. I enjoy this hug from my human friend a bit too much because I start to feel warm, too! I guess it’s the blood rushing to my face?! Regardless, I have to act professionally, so I use my magic to gently separate the two of us.
“Alright. I just need to scan your body before I can let you try anything. I need to make sure the tiny spark of magic merged properly with your DNA, giving you your third helix.” I stand a few feet away from him and zap Noah with a scanning spell. The spell scans his body from head to toe, before sending all of the information into my brain:
NOAH THE HUMAN
SEX: MALE
18 YEARS OLD
BLOOD TYPE: O+
MEDICAL CONDITIONS: AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER, ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER, ANAPHYLAXIS TO TREE NUTS.
MAGICAL STATUS: CHANNELER. THREE HELICES. UNICORN OR ALICORN MUST REGENERATE CATALYST EVERY SEVEN DAYS, OR SUBJECT WILL LOSE ALL MAGICAL PROPERTIES.
That’s great news! Obviously, Noah will never be able to regenerate his own magical source, but if he keeps his behavior in check and does well in school, maybe I will regenerate his magical source!
“Alrighty, Noah. Good news! You now have three DNA helices, so you can channel magic! To be completely honest, I don’t know how exactly it will manifest because you don’t have a horn, but you can definitely perform simple spells, with practice! Now, the first spell I ever learned how to cast was telekinesis. Did you get that far in “Magic for Derpies?”
Noah nods. “I did get that far. I read that you need to visualize where and how an object moves in your mind before the magic allows for that to happen. I think it would be wise to start with something small. What do you think?”
Again…this human thinks ahead! I like that, a lot!
“I would try a book first. Weighs very little, requires not that much mental energy to manipulate, and there’s one on the table!” I point to the very book Noah was reading yesterday, and he makes his way over towards the table.. He takes a few deep breaths, and moves his toes up and down across the wooden floor, trying to get a feel for whatever magic he has in his body. He puts his hands over the table and concentrates. I can hear him mutter “Move the book…move the book…move the book!” over and over again quietly. It’s really cute! I want to just go over to him and kiss-. Nevermind! I still don’t know if Noah feels the same way about me that I feel about him. I don’t want to blow it!
For a good ten minutes, Noah stood in front of the table, trying to manipulate the book in front of him. I can see that he is getting frustrated with his lack of results, but he has grit. He’s going to keep trying until he gets it. Although, it’s 7:20 AM, and we do need to be on schedule for Friendship Studies! If Princess Twilight is auditing my progress, which I am sure she is, we have to be punctual to the second! Regardless, Noah is determined to at least get the book to react to his new magic, and then…
The book didn’t levitate, but it became enveloped in a cyan hue, sparkling with magic! It vibrated against the table violently, before slowly being raised a mere inch off of the ground! Noah looks stunned that he was able to perform such a feat. Although telekinesis is easy, I know that I was very excited when I was able to perform the spell for the very first time!
“I…I can do magic! I can do magic! ” Noah exclaimed. While I am happy for him, if unicorn magic can be controlled by emotions, and the magic I gave my student is based on my magic, then, OH NO!”
“Noah, be careful, your emotions could cause the book to-...”
I spoke too soon, the book sporadically slammed into the shelf, toppling my entire library onto the floor!
“Oh no! Noah…” I say, trying not to laugh…ah screw it. I begin to laugh, a real belly laugh, and Noah starts to laugh as well. We both laugh, and while I am laughing, I use my magic to reorganize my library back to the way it was before Noah accidentally destroyed it!
“At least all of the books are still intact! Princess Twilight told me that when she fought Tirek, her whole library blew up!” I say, trying to calm down my laughter. I feel like that comment went over my pupil’s head, as he can barely get over the fact that he cast a spell! I don’t think humans have ever been able to do that!
“Noah…get dressed. I think humans wear clothes all the time, and I wouldn’t go to the Everfree Forest in pajamas!” I remind him, as Noah makes his way towards his cabinet and collects an outfit to wear.
“What’s the weather, Starlight? Cold, warm? Freezing ?”
“Not too sure, but it’s not winter in Equestria, so you don’t need a parka! Put on a long sleeve shirt and jeans, maybe sweatpants!” I try to give good advice when I can. Noah puts the T-shirt back and replaces it with a long sleeve.
“Where do you want me to get changed?” Noah asks me, unsure about where to put on his clothes.
“Go into my bedroom and close the door. Don’t worry, I won’t peek or anything!” I chuckle at the thought. Oh, what I would do to give the boy a kiss on the forehead, or a snuggle, or…let him sit on me again! My damn muscles are sore! Noah goes into my room and closes the door, so I have a bit of time to myself.
Here’s the real question: When do I make my little human a communist? I feel like it’s going to be a long, arduous task, but if I am going to have a student, I will teach him everything I know, Friendship AND politics! It doesn’t matter that much, to be totally honest. Besides making Princess Twilight proud, my main goal is to make this sad human happy and give him purpose. Besides, I am getting the feeling that Noah might not want to return to his planet. This could be a problem since Twilight wants Noah to spread Friendship with his race! Maybe he can come and visit?
Noah finally opens the door, and he’s in more suitable clothing for a jaunt in the Everfree Forest. His gray waffle-stitched shirt matches with his black sweatpants! He looks rather nice, and I think Rarity would want to take note of this outfit!
“So…remind me how going to a forest helps to build trust, Starlight?” Noah asks me innocently. He is not sure how this activity would build trust. I don’t blame him. I had to figure it out myself!
“Well…the Everfree Forest is virgin land. Nopony ever developed settlements there, and there are lots of mysterious things there. Nothing that could hurt you, but you could get lost if you don’t know where you’re going. The only pony…er…creature that I know who lives there is a zebra named Zecora, who brews weird potions and other oddities!”
Noah seems to be understanding about this and waits for me to open the door. When I am finally ready, my saddlebag packed with snacks and water, I open the door.
“Follow me, Noah. I promise you will be okay.” I tell him, which reassures him. I take it he’s impressed with my magical abilities, so maybe we’re somewhere with trust already? Finally opening the door, the two of us exit my apartment and go down the stairs to leave the complex, entering Ponyville proper. Everypony in town is still surprised at the new two-legged creature that is trotting (or is it walking?) next to me. At least nopony says anything this time. You’d think that for the Equestrian Capital of Friendship, the ponies here would be more welcoming of the human guest!
“Noah…are you okay? You seem a bit…spooked!” I ask him as he is a bit hesitant to keep walking.
“I am fine, Starlight. It’s just that everyone…er…everypony is staring at me like I am an injured animal! Why do you think they believe I am a freak?” He asks me quietly, before a familiar pony teleports behind me, and taps a purple hoof on my barrel.
“Hello, Starlight; hello, Noah! I take it you two are en route to the Everfree Forest for Friendship Lesson #2?” Twilight asks rather abruptly. Noah jolts up in terror, not expecting the alicorn Princess of Friendship to appear behind the two of us.
“H…hello…ma’am.” He replies, quivering in fear. I guess the only pony that doesn’t scare the daylights out of him right now is me. He’s only been here for two days! He needs time to adjust!
“Please, just call me Twilight. All of the Canterlot Nobility grovel over me, and you aren’t even an Equestrian citizen. I am your friend .”
“Well would ya look at that, Noah? TWO friends in Equestria. Me and the princess! Isn’t that awesome?” I nudge him gently, as he nods in approval of my comment.
“We’re en route to the Everfree as we speak, Twilight. I think we’ll be able to trust each other. He did very well yesterday with the Listening exercise, even though Trixie hijacked my lesson.” I say, to which the alicorn laughs.
“Sounds like her…are you going to her show tonight? Even I am going. Just for the nostalgia of seeing her make a fool of herself!” Twilight says, before spreading her wings.
“Good luck, you two! Don’t get lost!” Twilight says before taking off, presumably towards her castle, because she’s flying in its general direction.
“Well…Everfree is two minutes out. Are you ready?” I ask him, as we see the foreboding tree line ahead of us, maybe two hundred paces out.
“I’m ready, I think? How bad can a forest be?” He says as we continue making our way towards the wild outpost of Equestria. Legends say that the forest changes paths magically, making it very difficult to navigate. I wonder how Zecora can get to and from her hut without getting lost? It’s fascinating!
After a few more minutes of walking, we were finally embraced by the mystical woods. The temperature drops by a few degrees, and there is a gentle breeze in the air. I am glad that Noah is wearing a waffle-stitch shirt! He’ll be warm and cozy. As for me, I have fur, so I am not worried!
“So, Friendship Lesson #2: Trust Building. I have a general idea of where we are going, and you are going to trust me for navigation. In turn, I will trust you for company and being kind. It’s a mutual relationship!” I say.
For a good half-hour or so, the two of us are walking quietly in the woods, enjoying the sights. I am pleased to see that Noah is calm, and not stressed about whatever potential threats might be in the forest! We see a few small animals, like bunnies, deer, and birds, but so far, nothing that could be dangerous to a virtually magicless human.
That is until a manticore shows up! Claws and scorpion tail armed, it swoops down and tries to grab Noah!
“NOAH, RUN!” I yell, quickly alerting both him and the manticore of each other’s presence. Noah begins to run like Tartarus in the opposite direction from where we came, but the manticore is fast! Possibly faster than him! I have to save him. Oh, I am going to be in so much trouble if Noah gets hurt!
Wait…I have an idea! I can run fast…he can’t run fast! While I put up a shield around him with my magic, the manticore starts slowly but surely chipping away at the magical protection. How am I going to save him?!
And then it hit me: As much as I didn’t want to do this…and as weird as it is, I am going to have to teleport that silly outfit over here, plop him on me, and gallop the buck out of there. Noah needs Pony Power to survive! Quickly using the “Want it, Need it.” Spell, the purple saddle and greenish-gold bridle arrive. I…I don’t know how to put them on? When I summoned them in Noah’s world, somepony helped me!
“NOAH! HOW DO I PUT THIS BUCKING BRIDLE IN MY MOUTH?!” I ask, quickly fastening the saddle to my body. At least ponies wear these for parties, so I know how to put them on! The magical forcefield is starting to give, but there is a bit of magic left, so Noah is okay. I’d wager he has 60 seconds before he’s the manticore’s lunch!
“You…you take the bit, bite on it, and use your magic to fasten the rest of the pieces!” Noah shrieks, trying to use the tiny bit of magic he knows to move the manticore away. I listen to his instructions, bite on the cold metallic piece, and use my magic to fasten the rest of the parts. I look…odd …but I need to save my student!” I’m a bit too far away, so I gallop as fast as I can to try and scoop Noah out of this mess that I made.
“I’m coming for ya!” I say, noticing Noah’s hands glowing slightly, possibly due to adrenaline! The manticore isn’t budging!
Ten feet away…
“STARLIGHT, I AM SORRY IF I EVER UPSET YOU!” He says, closing his eyes, accepting his fate…well…his fate if I didn’t give a hoot about him! He’s finally within range of my magic, and I promptly teleport him onto the purple saddle, casting a spell gluing him to my body!
“Grab whatever the buck those ropes are, and hold on for dear life! The manticore’s on our tail!” I say, as Noah…well I don’t know what he does, but he does something with that rope, and I am drawn to go from a brisk canter to galloping for our lives! All I hear is the stomping of my hooves against the ground, faster and faster, trying to run away!
“Can’t you blow the manticore up or something?” Noah asks me, shifting his weight in the seat, trying not to look behind him!
“I…I can’t blow him up, but I can make him fall asleep!” I remember the sedation spell. Pivoting my hooves into the ground, I abruptly turn around, as the manticore is a good ten feet or so away from us.
“I am going to heat up…magic warms your body. It might burn you, just…breathe!” I say, horn lighting up with the sedation spell. It takes a while to charge, around five seconds or so. Noah is closing his eyes, grabbing my mane and neck like I am his life vessel…FINALLY!
I zap the manticore with the sedation spell, and it falls to the floor, immediately entering a deep slumber. I feel my passenger’s heartbeat like crazy, and I gently sway back and forth, trying to calm him down.
“I…I am sorry about that, Noah. I…I hope you can forgive me.” I manage to muster out, Noah trying to dismount.
“Not so fast…I’ve happened to grow a liking to having you up there. You…you call it riding , correct?”
He nods.
“Well…because you trusted me to save you, I guess I can trust you to…uh, steer me? I don’t know how it works, but I think I owe you one. It could be…like a date!” I say, trying not to sound like a dope.
“Are you sure, Glimmy? ” Noah says playfully, stroking my mane. I don’t think he caught on yet that I have the hots for him, but…he sure is acting like it. Maybe it’s because I saved his life?
Noah smiles. “Alright, you really want to try “riding”?”
I turn my head back, trying to give a smile with the stupid thing in my mouth.
“I promise I am not going to hurt you, you saved my life.” He says, embracing me firmly.
“So…you just…use those ropes to tell me how to walk?” I ask him, as he gently taps his shoes at my sides, making me instinctively trot slowly.
“More or less. With the horses at home…most humans hurt them to get them to maneuver properly. I will just nudge you like this.”
He takes one rope of the bridle and gently moves the bit rightward in my mouth.
“I take it that means I turn right?” I ask him. He nods, “Same thing for left. I think…that’s enough “commands”. Besides, you’re my teacher, right? You should be the one teaching me! This was your idea. If you want to stop, we can stop!” He says, reassuringly, as I slowly pick up the pace. I am still walking, but I am moving fast enough that even a human couldn’t walk that fast.
“You know…having you up there…it feels right. Not…morphologically, but…like we’re two pieces of a puzzle that fit together. I saved you, so you trusted me to get you away from that manticore. I…I have to trust you now, in doing whatever the buck this is. Besides, imagine what everypony will think if we show up in Ponyville with you up there, my knight in a waffle shirt and sweatpants!”
EEK! I just said that out loud!
“It’s okay…I like you too. Not like a mate…but more than a friend. We’ll get to cuddles later. In the meantime, want to piss off everypony in Ponyville?”
More than anything!
“Oh yeah, what are you thinking? Don’t think that me letting you control me like some pet means you’re done with Friendship Lessons.” I said to him, to which he replies with a firm squeeze of my sides with his feet and a flick of the bridle.
“I don’t mind continuing with those. They are helpful. In the meantime, We’re going to crash the party, giddy up!”
Ooh, fancy! I instinctively begin to speed up, and I have a feeling Noah knows how to make it back home. I trust him, because he trusted me. With Noah up there, soothing my muscles and giving me directional guidance, I feel…complete .
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 5: A Glimmering Steed
A unicorn…I am actually riding on a unicorn! I mean, I did it already when I got to Equestria, but I wasn’t really paying attention to my surroundings. Now…not only am I riding on a unicorn, but I am getting the impression that she likes being ridden! I don’t think it’s that weird. I know people who have seen or done much weirder things. Besides, I’ve always wanted a horse; but a talking unicorn wasn’t initially in the cards. We’re riding at a moderate clip, going through this forest at a speed that I wouldn’t be able to reach if I was on my own.
I feel the thumping of my teachers' hooves against the trodden ground. She's galloping at a steady clip, and I feel her heartbeat underneath my seat. Maybe it’s the magic that she infused into my body, but I swear that I can sort of hear my teacher’s thoughts. She’s thinking a lot about…cuddling? Eh, I am not a cuddle person, but I am in the mood to crash the party in Ponyville! Imagine the look on everypony’s muzzles when I show up, riding one of their neighbors?! I mean, it’s not like I wanted to or anything, but Starlight literally cast a spell gluing me to her body after she saved me!
“Yeah, of course, I did. I don’t want my student getting hurt!” Starlight interrupts my train of thought. I guess this mind-reading thing is reciprocal? I’ve seen worse!
“Speaking of getting hurt, I get the impression my faithful student is enjoying the ride almost as much as his teacher is enjoying carrying him. Am I right?” She asks, rhetorically.
“Well…I didn’t ask to ride on you, you just saved me and turned this into something else, but yeah. This is nice!” I reply, as Starlight comes to a steady halt, taking a moment to catch her breath. I feel her muscles relaxing, and I take a minute to look around at my surroundings. I don’t see the manticore that was chasing us just a few minutes ago, and we’re still neck deep in forest!
“Hey, Noah, do you want water? If you open my saddlebag, which is next to your left leg, there’s a water bottle in there! We can share! I don’t think ponies can transfer germs to humans. We’re very hygienic!”
As long as I get to drink from the bottle first. Besides, I’m parched! Letting go of the bridle, I carefully reach over to my left side and open the faux-leather saddlebag. Starlight uses magic to aid in my search, by making sure I don’t fall off her body! After a few minutes of wanton rummaging, I finally found a canteen of water! Carefully scooping it up with my hands, I sit up properly. Opening the canteen, it makes a pop sound when the seal is broken. Making sure to be hygienic, I don’t put my lips on the canteen and I let the water flow freely from the canteen into my mouth. It’s ice-cold and refreshing!
“Alright. Do you want the canteen now?” I ask Starlight, who replies by enveloping the medium-sized canteen with her magical grasp and levitating it towards her. She drinks a fair amount of water, and then seals the canteen and replaces it in her saddlebag.
“Do you mind closing the bag before we continue?” Starlight asks me. I don’t even need to reply since I am already bending over closing the bag. I don’t want anything to fall out while we’re on our way home!
“So…remind me how to get started again?” Starlight asks me rhetorically. She knows what I have to do, but she’s relishing the moment of spending time with me. Being extremely careful not to hurt her, I firmly squeeze my legs into her sides and flick the bridle. Starlight must learn quickly because she’s off! Rather quickly at that!
“Any idea how fast we’re going, Starlight?” I ask her, as her horn lights up, showing a rather crude speedometer. It reads 30 mph (or 48,28 kilometers per hour). I remember watching the Kentucky Derby back home, and this is a rather average pace for a thoroughbred horse. And if Starlight’s telling the truth that she’s not that active, imagine how much faster she could run! It’s like all of these ponies are super-equines!
“Thirty miles an hour, I’d posit. Not bad for a 19-year-old mare, huh?” She giggles at the thought, enjoying making her student’s travels a bit easier.
“Not bad at all!” I say, patting Starlight’s neck with tender affection.
“You know…We’re both doing things that we’d never thought of doing before, Noah. I am…well…allowing a creature to use me for transport, and you…we’ll, you're riding a talking unicorn! I’d wager that plenty of humans would want to do that at least once in their life! Besides, if these were different circumstances, my leftist urges would tell me that this is pony exploitation! You said that “horses” do this on your planet, right?” Starlight asks me as we continue galloping through the Everfree. I can almost see Ponyville through the treeline, so I guess we’re getting closer.
“Yeah, actually. Horses have been domesticated for some…six thousand years, Starlight. It’s crazy if you think about it!” I reply, to which Starlight shudders.
“But these horses can’t talk! They can’t consent to be used like that. At least when we’re doing it…I say it’s okay and you’re not hurting me. Heck…you're actually comfortable! I might actually write in my final report that all ponies who participate in the Human Friendship Exchange Program allow humans to mount them! You…you relax my nerves. I mean, wearing a saddlebag does that too, to some extent, but…my muscles are tense all the time!” Starlight says, just as she comes to a rather abrupt stop, raising her front hooves in the air to try and make sure I don’t fall off.
Now, what is in front of us that could possibly be obstructing our path forward? It was a tree. I think it’s a sycamore tree, but whatever kind of tree it is, it’s fallen over, and it’s blocking our path.
“Starlight, I have a question. Can you jump?” I ask my lilac mount, who nods that she can. Backing up, she looks at me and smiles.
“Hold onto that bridle, Noah. We’re going airborne!” She giggles, beginning to speed up again, trying to gain momentum to jump over the tree trunk like a horse in the Olympics! She contracts her hind legs and springs skyward, only to be just out of reach! To prevent herself from crashing into the tree trunk, she uses a spell to teleport the two of us back on solid ground. Cross that she couldn’t breach the tree trunk, she stomps her hoof in frustration.
“We were so close, Noah! I thought having a…”rider”...would make it easier. I could usually make a jump like this!” Starlight says, pouting. I embrace Starlight’s neck, trying to reassure her that everything will be okay.
“Hey…I have an idea. Can you try deactivating that glue spell so I can stretch my legs for a bit? I am a head shorter than you, so maybe I can see if I can manually move the tree trunk?” I ask Starlight, who sighs and lights up her horn. My legs leave go from her barrel, and I try moving a foot out of one of Starlight’s stirrups.
“You can climb down now, Noah, although I don’t know why you’d want to!” She chortles, as I slowly and carefully move my left leg over Starlight’s back and carefully dismount from her right side. Getting off of Starlight, I’d guess she’s six feet at the withers, so a bit more than six feet! Since I am 5’9, my range of view is smaller, but I can crouch down! Slowly walking towards the tree trunk, I look around to see if there is anywhere that hands (or hooves) could be placed to leverage the trunk out of the way.
And then it hit me: I know magic now! And Starlight knows magic, too! What if we used our abilities to move the tree trunk out of harm’s way, and then continue making our way back home?
“A brilliant idea, Noah!” Starlight says, obviously peeking into my mind’s eye. She ignites her horn, and the tree trunk becomes enveloped in lilac magic. I see my new friend/steed struggling to move the trunk with her magic, and she even begins to perspire! Letting go of the weak part of the trunk, I return to Starlight and try to determine what our next course of action should be.
“So, what do you think we should do, Starlight? Do I hop on and we find another way out?” I ask my friend with trepidation, who shrugs her front hooves.
“I am not sure, Noah. I think this is the only pathway out from where we are. If I were you, I’d try helping me with levitating the tree trunk! If you were able to lift the book, then maybe if we work together, we can lift the trunk!” Starlight says, using magic to begin her second attempt at lifting the tree trunk.
Standing next to my friend, I take a deep breath and look at the forest that surrounds me. Moving my toes up and down, I make an attempt to gauge the magic that surrounds me. Lifting my hands, I focus all of my mental energy on lifting the darn tree trunk! Progress since last time! My hands already lit up, cyan blue at that, but still, the tree trunk won’t budge!
“Noah…This is a perfect chance to fulfill Friendship Lesson #2. You have to trust yourself , too! It’s not just trusting me with carrying you and being your friend; it’s not me trusting you for being a good “rider” and roommate. We also have to trust ourselves to break our own limitations!” Starlight exclaims with determination!
Trust in ourselves! Easier said than done. I have a lot of trust issues, and most of them are with my own insecurities, rather than with my relationships with others.
I can trust myself. Who am I to not trust myself if a lilac unicorn who literally wants me to ride on her back tells me that I can do it. Just count to three!
One…
Two…
Three!
My magic finally connects with Starlight’s, and the tree trunk slowly moves upward. My body is being physically strained to its absolute limits, but working with my friend, we’re able to keep the tree trunk aloft!
“N…Noah! Try moving…the tree trunk…over to your left!” Starlight grunts out, slowly moving the tree trunk to a barren patch of forest that is to our left. I try and visualize the tree trunk being in that spot, and with enough time, our combined magical abilities move the tree trunk directly above the empty space.
“On…the count of three…deactivate your magic, and let the tree trunk…fall to the ground!” Starlight says, clearly beginning to buckle under the weight of the trunk. Weird…it must be over Starlight’s 400kg limit!
“One…
Two…
Three!”
We both deactivate our telekinesis at the exact same time, and the tree trunk makes a rather loud thud in the Everfree Forest. The impact’s noise scared off many birds which were perched amongst the trees. Starlight starts to laugh, and I begin to laugh in turn!
“You’re some mage, Noah! I have to say I am rather impressed!” Starlight compliments with glee. “Now…somepony, er, someone has a very important mare to sit on, and the duty to guide her home!” Starlight says, clearing her throat.
Yeah yeah, I can take a hint. Starlight turns around so I have space to climb aboard, and with more ease this time than the other two, I make my way astride the unicorn mare, comfortably sitting atop her.
“I have a silly question for you, Noah. Am I comfy? I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to know that about myself, but since you will be traveling atop me from now on for your own good, I need to know if I am adequate for your comfort and wellbeing!” Starlight says, using her magic to place the reins of the bridle in my hands.
“Yeah…like a pillow, actually. Ready to make our way home?” I ask Starlight before we continue. She made an excellent point about consent! If I am to ride a unicorn, I must ask her permission first!
“Sure…my knight in a waffle shirt and sweatpants!” Starlight playfully replies. With much eager enthusiasm, Starlight uses her magic to force my legs to stimulate her sides, immediately triggering her body to enter a brisk gallop!
“You…are…going…to…ride…me…every…single…day!”
Starlight must really be enjoying the company! I just hope that this doesn’t interfere too much with our Friendship lessons! After another ten minutes of easy riding, we finally arrived at the frontier of Ponyville!
“I am going to do something silly. If I were you I’d do that thing that made me jump earlier!” Starlight says, turning her head over to me with a stupid grin.
“And what would that be?” I ask, curious about my friend’s trickster thought process.
“We’re jumping over the fountain. Some ponies do that to show their agility. And, well, I feel more agile than ever!” Starlight says, making a run for the fountain at the center of town.
If she’s going to make a run for it, I better listen to my friend. I pull the reins on the bridle upwards, gently guiding Starlight to jump. With clockwork precision, at the corner of the fountain, she leaps over it, as a few ponies take a peek at the bizarre sight in front of them.
Starlight Glimmer, a mare who was Twilight Sparkle’s personal student, jumps over the fountain, with a human on her back!
She lands with a firm thud on all four hooves, and slows down, panting with a smile.
“I knew I could jump over the fountain. Rainbow Dash owes me fifty bits!” She says, using her magic to gently lift me off her, placing me on the floor.
Well…Not only do I have a friend, who I think has a crush on me, but I have a free ride in Equestria; and one who enjoys spending time with me. Next stop: Trixie’s magic show!
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 6: Shower the Ponies You Love With Love
Well well well…in two days, my entire worldview has been completely altered! Now, obviously, I am still a die-hard leftist, but this Noah is something else. Never before would I have let a creature use my body the way Noah is using it, let alone enjoy it! Twilight did make me carry Spike a few times, but I hated it. With Noah I don’t hate it; in fact, I can’t wait for him to do it again! I could have sworn that we were riding together in the Everfree for hours! Just to be sure, I check my watch and it’s 11:30 AM already! That’s crazy!
“Hey, kiddo. Want to get something to eat for lunch? I am sure the Hayburger is open now. My treat!” I offer Noah, quickly teleporting my riding gear away, lest I draw any more negative attention to myself. Still kept my saddlebag, though! I need my bit pouch if we’re going to pay for our food.
“Yeah. What do they even serve at the Hayburger, anyways?” Noah asks me, as we begin to trot towards the restaurant, Noah following my lead.
“Hayburgers, of course!” I reply, to which my human friend giggles.
“Don’t you mean hamburgers?” Noah asks, questioning my linguistic abilities. He’s cute, but I am not going to give him a free pass if he’s insulting me!
“No, Noah, I mean hayburgers . Ponies are herbivores. We do eat dairy products, but we don’t eat meat as Griffons and Dragons do!” I reply, to which Noah smiles genially.
“My apologies, Starlight. Where I come from, they are called “hamburgers”, and they are patties of meat sandwiched with bread and vegetables.” He replies as the usual suspects stare at the two of us trotting along towards the Hayburger.
A lime green unicorn mare who I know in passing and her friend are across the street from us. I think her name is Lyra Heartstrings? Spotting my student, she drags her Earth pony friend along, eager to see the “exotic creature” that is spending time with me.
“Are…are you the “human?” Lyra asks Noah, eyeing him rather carefully; not with fear but with curiosity.
“Yes, I am. I have a name, too! My name is Noah. What’s yours?” He asks, a bit rude with his delivery. Again, we didn’t get to conversations, which is in next week’s lesson plan, but he’s getting there.”
Holding out her front left hoof, Lyra begins to speak: “My name is Lyra Heartstrings. This is my friend Bon Bon!”
Learning from past experiences, Noah shakes the mare’s hoof, and the Earth pony next to him smiles.
“Well, my name is actually Sweetie Drops, but everypony calls me Bon Bon. It’s a nickname that I got used to!” Bon Bon says, also shaking Noah’s hand.
I have a rousing suspicion that these two mares are rather intimate with each other, and are a bit more than friends. I don’t know if Noah can pick up on that, and I don’t know if humans also have same-sex attractions? What I do know is that in Equestria, this kind of relationship is rather taboo, but nopony seems to say anything in public. I guess since Princess Twilight showed up, ponies have learned to keep their muzzles shut?
“It’s nice to meet the two of you. I am learning about Friendship with my friend Starlight Glimmer!” He says, quite proudly.
Both Lyra and Sweetie Drops smile at the thought. “I heard in the Ponyville Post that there was an extraterrestrial visitor to Equestria to learn our values. I am very proud of you!” Sweetie Drops says affectionately towards Noah. He blushes at the praise, and replies with a quiet “thank you.”
Lyra is the next to speak. “I take it you two are going out for lunch? Care if we join you? We’re rather hungry, too!”
I don’t see why not? Besides, Noah needs to learn how to interact with other ponies, not just me. As much as I want to keep Noah in my own hooves, I have to put the greater good first!
“Of course, you two can join us! I am on a bit of a budget, so I don’t think I can treat all four of us. I only have enough bits for myself and my student. Is that going to be a problem?” I ask quite bluntly, to which the two mares nod.
“I totally understand Starlight. Nopony is made of bits, and we’re rather frugal ourselves. We’ll take care of our bill, and you can take care of yours!” Bon Bon says on behalf of both of them. With the consensus of how we are going to pay for our food, our new party of four makes our way to the Hayburger!
Since I took my little human on a pleasant ride in the Everfree Forest, Ponyville warmed up a bit! It’s still rather breezy, and Noah is still wearing his waffle-stitched shirt, but I take it he’s not as cold as he was when we were in the woods!
“So, I am interested in what you are learning, Noah. Can you tell me about your studies? I am a bit of a bookworm myself!” Lyra asks Noah, gently tapping him on the shoulder with her front hoof. He turns his head to look at the green unicorn mare and begins his reply.
“Well, I only got here two days ago! My program is around a month long, and I am learning basic tenets of Friendship with Starlight; not to mention a hint of magic!” He says, hands glowing as my saddlebag opens and the water canteen is promptly placed into his hands. Lyra’s eyes dilated in wonder at the sight of Noah casting magic. Bon Bon was not as interested, since Earth Ponies can’t cast magic directly.
“Woah! How’d you do that? You don’t have a horn, kid!” Lyra says, while Noah takes a swig of water, before placing the canteen back in my saddlebag, closing it promptly thereafter.
“I honestly don’t know the whole story. I know that Starlight gave me a tiny spark of magic, and my body can channel it, but I need the magical source replenished every now and then. I only know this one spell, and I am not that good at it!” He says sheepishly.
“Well Noah, you screwed up the first time with the book, you helped me move the tree, and you got the canteen of water! I’d say you're getting the hang of it, but don’t kid yourself! You’re still at a foal’s level of magic, and you aren’t learning ANY more spells until we finish the next Friendship Lesson! We have to show Trixie our support tonight for her show!” I say, with both praise and rebuke.
“You’re going to Trixie’s show? I’m going too! I love her tricks.” Bon Bon says, to which her “friend” rolls her eyes.
“You like that hay? Come on, Bon Bon! I thought better of you! At least for Starlight, she’s friends with Trixie, so it makes sense for her to support her friend, but you?!-”
I need to diffuse this before it becomes a rather nasty argument. I am not Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but I think I can diffuse a lover’s quarrel!
“Alright you two, cut it out! Noah’s Friendship curriculum involves supporting somepony you consider a friend. Trixie, as complicated as she is, was nice to Noah and offered to teach him some magic. To show his gratitude, he’s going to her show with me tonight!” I try to maintain my decorum, and the decorum of the two ponies next to me, and it seems to hold! I think my lessons with Princess Twilight have paid off!
“I’m sorry for the assumption, Noah.” Lyra apologizes to him with sincerity.
“Honestly, it’s fine. Your reaction is a heck of a lot better than some I faced back home. You're honestly much nicer than anyone I knew back home!” He replies quite directly, making Lyra blush. The unicorn mare opens her telepathic channel with me and asks me a rather intimate question.
“He’s a charmer, isn’t he? Don’t get ahead of yourself, Glimmer!” Lyra coos. How does she know I find him cute in a platonic way?
“I do find him cute, Heartstrings, but he’s a different species! At least with you and Sweetie Drops you are both ponies, so there is common genetic material. Griffons don’t mate with ponies, ponies don’t mate with dragons, and Seaponies don’t mate with Kirins! If anything, I just care for his well being!”
Lyra hides a chuckle: “Oh I know you aren’t attracted to him like that , but you two have only known each other for two short days! I understand the need to care for your student, but I wouldn’t let that cloud your judgment! I mean come on, you wore a bucking bridle ! I take it that they have a more appropriate use for humans on Earth, but if nopony knows the proper context, you’d look like a deviant!”
Oh…oh my! I didn’t even think about that! Bridles have more illicit uses in pony bedrooms across Equestria! I wasn’t trying to bring any negative attention to myself! I feel the blood leaving my face, and Noah sees that, and puts a hand on my barrel, trying to reassure me.
“You okay, Starlight? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” He says, trying to figure out what happened. Severing her unicorn telepathic connection with me, Lyra explains the situation to my student.
“Well…I take it that on your planet, humans use ponies for transport?”
Noah and I both nod.
“And you need a saddle and bridle to maintain a human’s balance atop one, along with steering the pony?”
We nod again.
“Well, in Equestria, saddles are pieces of clothing like any other. We wear them to parties, special occasions, and as part of the Royal Armor! But bridles on the other hoof…well.”
Noah starts to laugh, which makes Bon Bon laugh, and then all four of us are laughing like idiots!
“Oh come on! It was Starlight’s idea. She saved me from a manticore, and told me that whenever we go somewhere, I have to ride on her back now for my safety!” Noah says quite clearly.
“I get it. You want to protect your student from danger. Just…explain to everypony if they ask you what the bridle is used for, so you don’t get weird looks, like when you did that stunt with the fountain! They weren’t staring at the human on your back, they were staring at the bridle in your mouth-”
Noah interrupts us, clearly uncomfortable with all of the innuendoes that we are using. He’s probably a bit squirmish.
“Can we change the subject, please? Friendship, new spells, hell, even Trixie’s show? Also, where’s the restaurant?” Noah asks before I use my magic to tilt his head up to a sign that reads “The Hayburger”.
“Guess we’re here. What’s the house special?” Noah asks anypony who might have an answer.
“Double Hayburger with fries!” Lyra and Bon Bon say in unison. Noah takes note of this, as we enter the restaurant and wait for the host to give the four of us a table or a booth. The restaurant is rather quaint, being one of the oldest establishments in Ponyville, besides for Sweet Apple Acres. I’d wager it can seat up to 300 ponies at full capacity, and right now it is rather busy, so it might be a while before we get a booth. After a few long minutes, an Earth Pony with a tray greets us at the entrance of the restaurant.
“Good afternoon, everypony. How many are we today?” The hostpony asks us.
I am first to reply: “We’re four. Do you have a booth?” I ask, to which the hostpony points to a booth a short trot away from the entrance. I take it that the orange hostpony is more tolerant than some other Ponyville residents because he didn’t make any comments about my human student. The four of us make our way to the booth and sit down.
Noah taps me on the withers, probably because he wants to ask me a question.
“So, the show’s at 6:00 PM. What is there to expect?” He asks me, as Lyra and Bon Bon are talking about something else. It’s not my place to pay attention!
“Well, Trixie does a lot of the same tricks over and over again. She does fireworks, sawing ponies in half, card tricks, and the like. It gets boring after a while, but her heart is in the right place. She was nice to me when Twilight redeemed me, so I have to be nice to her in return!”
Noah looks at me and smiles. “Isn’t that Friendship Lesson #652? I’ve been doing some reading. Be nice to somepony who was nice to you!” I am impressed that he does his reading outside of class! Well, the waitress is here!
“Alright everypony, what are we having today?” The pink unicorn mare asks, horn at the ready to write down our orders.
“I’ll have a Double Hayburger with fries and a nonalcoholic apple cider, please!” Noah orders with poise, as the waitress uses her magic to write down the order.
“I’ll have what he’s having!” I replied.
Lyra and Sweetie Drops deliberate amongst themselves what they are going to have for lunch and Lyra orders on behalf of the both of them.
“The two of us will have grilled daisy sandwiches with tomato and cheese! As for drinks, water will be fine!” Lyra orders, as the waitress finishes writing down what we want.
“Is that everything?” She asks as we nod. She then walks away to the kitchen to place the order.
Noah looks at the glass in front of him, tempted to practice his magic again.
“It’s okay, Noah. You can practice while you wait. Nopony here will judge you!” I say as Noah’s hands light up, carefully enveloping the pitcher of water with his magical grasp. While the pitcher does shake, it doesn’t spill any water, and Noah manages to pour both himself and everypony at our booth a glass of water. Putting the pitcher down and deactivating his magic, he becomes flush and manually drinks water from his glass.
Lyra and Bon Bon clap their hooves in approval of Noah’s simple, but impressive magical feat!
“Bravo, Noah! I remember when I tried doing that when I was a filly, and it wasn’t a cakewalk!” Lyra says, gently patting Noah on the head in approval.
“Aw, thanks!” He says, blushing. “I just hope I do well in my Friendship Lessons, so Starlight can teach me more spells!”
“Again, nothing until you finish this next Friendship Lesson tonight at Trixie’s show. Hey! Look at that, our food’s here!” I say, noticing the waitress coming back with a large tray with four distinct dishes on it. She serves us, leaving with a polite “Enjoy your meal!” Lyra and Bon Bon immediately dig into their grilled daisy sandwiches, while Noah looks carefully at his hayburger. He looks at me and smiles.
“Woah! Looks exactly like a hamburger; and it smells like one, too!” Noah says, cautiously grasping the sandwich in his hands and taking a generous bite. Chewing it slowly, and then swallowing his morsel, he looks at me with an even bigger grin.
“Equestrian food is amazing! Honestly, I am really impressed with how you ponies eat!” Noah says, taking another swig of water before going back to his hayburger. Our meal goes rather swimmingly, and I tease Noah playfully by using my magic to levitate a few of his fries. Noah tries doing that, and he has an 80% success rate. There seems to be something about ketchup that makes magic harder for novices!
We don’t eat that fast, and Lyra and Bon Bon are rather nice to Noah. If I were to guess, I’d say being ostracized by society at large for being fillyfoolers makes them more accepting of anypony who’s different?
After a good hour or so, when we all finish our lunch, the waitress comes back with our bill. A reasonable seventy bits! I take out my wallet and take out thirty-five bits, and Lyra and Bon Bon take out the remainder. Quickly remembering that I need to provide a tip, I take out a five-bit coin and add it to the tally.
“Thank you so much for the tip, and for your patronage! I hope you have a splendid day!” The waitress says, as the four of us get up from our booth and make our way towards the exit of the restaurant. Finally exiting the restaurant, Lyra and Bon Bon wave goodbye.
“Bon Bon will see you two at the show. I have symphony practice. Take care, you two!” Lyra says, before the two ponies leave. Now, it’s just Noah and me. Time to go home and relax before the show!
“You know the drill, kid. Hop on, we’re going home. If I was you, I’d take a nap before the show.” With a flash of my horn, my saddle and bridle appear, and Noah helps me equip the bridle, while I put the saddle on with ease.
“Isn’t it just a ten-minute walk?” Noah asks me as he helps to maneuver the bit into my mouth.
“Yeah…but if ANYTHING happens to you, I am liable. Keeping you with me makes sure that I have all my bases covered. Now, mount me before I teleport you onto my back!” I say, sticking out my tongue. Now, obviously, Ponyville is safe, but I didn’t expect the manticore to show up in the Everfree. I meant it when I said he’s riding me everywhere! I feel a tug on the saddle as Noah lifts himself up with the help of the stirrups. With a sweep of his leg, he’s astride me. Using my magic to place the reins in his hands, I begin trotting at a steady pace on the way home. Imagine how cool this would be for him if I was an alicorn. Flying in the air with him!
I think Lyra might have driven the point home because she was rather loud during her exposition regarding the bridle problem. It seems that the ponies on the street understand that my use of this tool isn’t illicit now, and it’s to help Noah so he doesn’t fall and hurt himself!
“So, we need to talk about something, Noah.” I say as we make our way home.
“Yeah. Sure, go ahead. it can’t be that bad, right? You seem calm. I feel your heartbeat, and you aren’t hyperventilating. Did I say something? Do something wrong?” My friend asks me, playing with my mane out of sheer boredom, twirling his fingers around in it. At least he’s not pulling my mane and yanking it out! Maybe he does this when he’s stressed? I know somepony who has a stress ball!
“No, Noah! You are doing great! It’s just that, in the two days that we’ve known each other, I’ve developed a liking for you.”
Noah chuckles. “Even my autistic ass knows when somebody has a crush. It’s okay. It’s only a problem when it takes over your entire life!” I think my rider is missing the point. I should keep explaining!
“Well, what I mean is that I care about you, and I want you to be happy! Besides, even if we were to date or anything, two days is WAY too quickly to do that. I just wanted to let you know that I have feelings for you, and I hope that doesn’t make me unprofessional! I still want you to pass the Friendship course, but I also want you…with me .”
Noah is deathly silent for the rest of the ride home. I have a feeling that he’s thinking over what I just said, and wondering how to properly respond. If I was him, I’d tread very carefully, because a mare with a crush is not somepony you should mess with! Finally climbing up the stairs and entering the apartment, I turn my head towards my rider and give him the signal to climb off. He does so, helping me take the metallic bit out of my mouth. He even goes the extra mile and removes my saddle, hanging it up on the coat rack for me!
Finally, he turns to me and embraces me. “I…I wasn’t sure what to say for the ride home, but I know what to say now. My upbringing wasn’t the greatest. My father was an alcoholic who beat me and my mother, not to mention that he cheated on her! I was very lonely growing up, and my only friends were my mom and sister. Meeting you was great! Now, I don’t know if we can call each other “boyfriend and girlfriend” just yet, but I would be honored to call you a friend, and a special friend at that!”
I start to cry, touched by my human’s empathy that seems to have just appeared out of nowhere!
“Aww. Now, about that nap, have you ever tried cuddling? ” I ask him, promptly teleporting the two of us into my bedroom.
“And you promise it’s just cuddling? ” Noah says, not wanting to go the extra mile just yet.
“Just cuddling. Pinkie Promise. Ponies are warm, and I will show you my friendship and love while we nap before the show!” I reply, climbing into my bed, giving Noah space to be my little spoon. He takes off his waffle shirt and replaces it with a white tee, before climbing into my bed hesitantly. I wrap my hooves around his chest and nuzzle him with affection.
“I have one thing to say to you, Noah the human. I care about you, and you matter.”
Noah turns around and returns the embrace, as I stroke his head, soothing him.
I would even go as far as to call Noah my special somepony! We’re not going to kiss yet or anything, but I’m letting him ride on my back, and we’re snuggling! I think we’ll be just fine together, and my little human will pass his Friendship course!
We fall asleep in each other's arms and hooves, and I feel at peace. I could have sworn I heard him mumble “I love you Starlight.” Well, I love you too, Noah. We’ll take things nice and slow, don’t you worry!
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 7: A Great and Powerful Show!
Ugh…how long was I sleeping? All I know for sure is that there is a lilac pony embracing me warmly, nuzzling my face with affection. I take it that Starlight is still sleeping. I slowly and carefully wiggle my body out of Starlight’s warm embrace and try to see what time it is. It’s 4:45 PM. The show is in a little more than an hour. Maybe we were both tired after that riveting experience in the Everfree Forest and the lunch that came after it?
The question remains, however, as to what the best method of waking up my equine teacher should be? She has the hots for me, and, while I don’t reciprocate the feelings as of yet, she is still my friend and I don’t want her to be upset. I decide that the best and most ethical course of action would be to gently tap her on the shoulder, and see if she will wake up.
So, this is exactly what I did: I gently tapped Starlight on the shoulder, brushing my finger against her fur, just to make sure that she felt something. She wriggled around a bit in the bed, before turning around, slowly opening her eyes, almost rolling on top of me! Horses (and ponies) weigh a lot, and she could have crushed me! I quickly move back, away from my old spot, and ensure my safety!
“Ugh…Noah, did you wake me up? Why’d you do that?” Starlight says, using magic to throw a pillow at me. My reflexes must be getting better because I caught the pillow before it could land on my face. Starlight giggles, before placing a rather impromptu kiss on my cheek.
“So, my faithful student and rider , why did you wake me up so early?” Starlight asks me playfully, before turning her head to the clock on her night table, immediately realizing what time it was.
“Ah, horseapples! We have Trixie’s show! I guess it was good that you woke me up. I slept rather deeply, and we could have missed the show, had you not tapped me like that!” Starlight says, rolling rather clumsily out of her bed, using magic to drag me along with her.
“You should eat a snack or something before we leave. Trixie likes to embellish in her performances, and she could take a while. It’s not that big of a deal, but I don’t like going to things on an empty stomach!” My teacher says, trotting towards the refrigerator and grabbing two apples; one green and one red.
“Player’s choice, Noah! You can pick the apple you want! Friendship Lesson #296: The guest cuts, and you pick the slice. Same with fruits!”
Starlight puts the two apples on the dining room table and pulls herself a chair, as well as a chair for me. We both sit down and eat our apples slowly and with poise. Taking a bite out of the apple, I had an idea. What if I was able to eat the apple using my magic to hold it in place? Eating a whole apple is annoying sometimes because once you get to the core, there are bits and pieces of apple that are hard to access!
“Go for it, Noah. Nothing bad can happen. Remember that I can read your mind!” She giggles, casting a spell that causes her Red Delicious apple to levitate in the air, gently moving towards her mouth.
Taking a bite, she nods, signaling that I could attempt the same magical feat. I concentrate heavily on my Granny Smith apple and slowly but surely the apple begins to levitate into the air, albeit roughly, shaking as it’s being manipulated. I try to move the apple closer to me and rotate it, so I can access the parts of the fruit that I didn’t bite yet. I have to say, I am getting better at this! I take another bite of the fruit, and this time, a bit of juice sprays onto my shirt, probably because the magic is making the apple wobble in the air! Deactivating the spell, I catch the partially eaten apple and resume eating it manually.
“Practice makes perfect, Noah. Canterlot wasn’t built in a day!” Starlight says, finishing the entire apple, including the core! I’ll tell you, that’s something I have never seen before. Maybe horses and ponies eat the whole apple?
“Wait…did you just eat the apple core, too?” I ask Starlight, who nods in affirmation.
“Yeah. Each apple seed contains a small amount of cyanide, although you’d need to eat around 15 apples' worth of apple seeds for the poison to kill you. I don’t eat the core for the cyanide, but for the fiber! The most fiber in fruit is at its core! Try it! I promise you won’t get sick!” Starlight says, as I finally finish eating the majority of the apple, leaving a rather large core. I can count around eight or nine seeds inside, but if what Starlight is saying is true, I will probably be fine!
Cautiously taking a bite of the core, it tastes much more rough and starchy compared to the rest of the fruit! It’s not bad, but it’s not good, either. I took another bite, and with that, the core was finished, and down my gullet!
“I’m proud of you, kid. You tried something new! Now, get my saddle and help me get set up. We're going to Trixie’s show!” Starlight says, getting up promptly from her chair and going into her room to find her saddlebag; at least I think that’s what she’s looking for? I get up from my chair as well and make my way to the coat rack, where Starlight’s mauve saddle and greenish-gold bridle are hanging. I take the saddle off of the coat rack and wait for Starlight to come back. She exits her bedroom, saddlebag in hoof, and she smiles.
“So…I can put the saddle on myself, I just need help with the bridle. Saddles are like T-shirts!” My teacher says, casting a spell that properly attaches the saddle to her body. I cautiously grab the bridle, and I wait for Starlight’s instructions.
“Don’t worry, I don’t bite, Noah. You can put the bit in my mouth!” She giggles, embracing me for a moment, before letting go. Starlight lowers her head, so I can reach her maw, and I maneuver the bit properly into her mouth, and try to adjust the bridle’s straps accordingly. Again, I never owned a horse, but I have a feeling that my method is working since Starlight doesn’t seem to be in pain! When that’s all said and done, Starlight playfully drags me closer to her with magic and smiles.
“Hurry up before I make you climb onto my back. I like your company!” Starlight says. I sigh. After many attempts, I place one foot into the stirrup, lift my body, and throw the other foot over Starlight's body. Finally, success!"
“Okay. Keep your hooves inside the Glimmer at all times, and be sure to thank her for giving you a ride!” Starlight says, using magic to open the door and place the reins in my hands at the same time.
“Don’t do anything until we get down the stairs, I don’t want to trip!” Starlight says playfully as we carefully descend the stairs from her apartment. At least it’s only one small flight of stairs! Once we finally make our way down, Starlight gives me a look, and I smile.
“Ready to roll?” I ask her, to which she nods again.
“It’s 20 minutes out to Trixie’s trailer. She likes performing at the Ponyville Amphitheater, which is on the other side of town. You just need to make a few right turns. I’ll use my magic to move your hands accordingly. Now, what’s the magic word, Noah?”
Uh…this is new. Is it “Hyah!” or “Giddy up?”
I gently tap Starlight’s barrel with my feet and say “Pretty please?”
She smiles, raising her front hooves in the air playfully. “There we go. Now, if you want to go fast, try that again, but with feeling!”
Well, I don’t like to be late for anything. Once Starlight’s hooves are back on the ground, I firmly but gently press into her sides, and we’re off!
My word! I think I can get used to riding Starlight around places. The feeling of the wind in my hair as she gallops is exhilarating, and it’s a lot more pleasant than being in a car, not feeling the distance pass you. I am just happy that the particular mare that’s my teacher isn’t averse to being a steed. Even though I didn’t ask her, I feel like in a way this was meant to be. Wait, am I getting lovey-dovey over her now, too? I met her two and a half days ago!
“Well, duh, of course, you are, Noah. I am irresistible! You’re my special somepony, so it makes sense that you want me to be yours!”
Special Somepony? What the hell is a special somepony? Ah, it doesn’t matter anyway. Starlight casts a spell, showing me what our current speed is, in a rather cute infographic.
Starlight Glimmer The Unicorn
2 Horsepower
One adorable human passenger
Current Speed: 31.5 miles per hour
Odometer: 65,000 miles
I find this to be rather cute, but also a bit demeaning.
“Starlight, you’re a pony, not a car. Why do you have all of these statistics? You weren’t carrying humans around before you met me, were you?” I ask, confused.
“Well, I don’t know what a car is, but ponies carry stuff around all the time. Heck, Trixie pulls her own trailer! Just having living cargo is novel to me, let alone atop a pony’s back, rather than being pulled from a cart! Besides, it’s good to see how far a pony has traveled. I’d wager only unicorns can pull these stats out since we can cast magic. Anyways, have any Friendship questions while we ride?”
As a matter of fact, I do have a few, but I am not sure how to phrase them. Besides, I am a bit enthralled by the view that I am seeing as we ride. Ponyville is a quaint little town, but most of the buildings are concentrated in the main plaza, near where Starlight lives. There’s a lot of foliage where we are right now, and only one or two ponies out on the road; who I assume are now used to seeing Starlight with a human astride her.
“I actually do have one Friendship question before we get to Trixie’s, Starlight. Do you know what I need to do in order to make new friends? I mean, you basically think I am your boyfriend now, and, well I am getting warm to the idea of dating a pony, but right now we are just friends! Do you think anypony else in Equestria would want to hang out with me? I am a bit odd at times!” I say, a bit concerned about my friendship skill building.
Starlight takes a minute to think about the question that I asked her, before coming to a sound conclusion.
“Well, you were quite normal when we had lunch today with Lyra and Sweetie Drops, and you didn’t come off as weird. Sweetie Drops is going to be at the show tonight, and maybe she’d want to be your friend, too? All I know for sure is that-.”
I have a feeling that Starlight would have continued with her train of thought, but I see somepony familiar in my peripheral vision. A mulberry winged unicorn, or maybe an alicorn, I don’t remember, lands next to Starlight. She slows down to a trot so that they can speak.
“Well, I take it that the report you sent me about “riding” has proven beneficial to you, Starlight?” Twilight asks, before waving a friendly hoof at me. I wave back, and Twilight and Starlight begin trotting again.
“Oh yes, of course! Maybe it’s just me, but I like having weight pushed down on me a bit. It helps with my nerves. I have a weighted blanket, and Noah is like a giant weighted blanket who can talk!” Starlight says gleefully.
“I just came in to tell Noah that the mirror’s connection with his planet is permanently severed, so he’s going to have to live here! I’m sorry about that, but String Theory is complicated!”
String Theory, huh? Ponies know quantum mechanics, I guess? Eh, I don’t care that much. Besides, the two days I’ve been with Starlight have been rather pleasant, and I don’t think living in this horse world would be that bad!
“You…you don’t seem upset that you can’t go home! Is that a normal reaction to finding out you're permanently displaced?” Twilight asks me, as her mane is sweating profusely from the stress of not being able to send me home.
“Well, my life back home wasn’t that good, to begin with, and Starlight has been nothing but nice to me! I’ll make do with what I have. It’s probably for the best!” I say, quite nonchalant about not being able to return home.
“Well, we ponies weren’t the ones who severed the connection, it just sort of happened on its own! I am a bit disappointed about this because I wanted you to go back and teach Friendship to your race, but now that’s out of the cards! You’re one lucky human, Noah! Oh, I almost forgot, I am also going to Trixie’s show! I like nostalgia! Care if I sit next to you two?” Twilight asks, rhetorically knowing full well my mount will say yes.
“Of course, Princess. Maybe Noah can even have his first Friendship Evaluation during the intermission! He’s been doing his reading!” Starlight says with glee before she points to a trailer in the distance.
“There it is, the trailer of Trixie Lulamoon! The amphitheater is just up ahead, but Noah and I need to get our tickets. Do you mind waiting a minute?” Starlight asks her sovereign, to which she nods.
“I’m more than happy to give you your first Friendship Test, Noah. Go enjoy the show!” Twilight says, contracting her pinions and launching herself into the air, going towards the amphitheater.
Woah…flying horses. Imagine if Starlight could fly!
“Keep dreaming, kiddo. I don’t want wings. It’s part of the nouveau riche and all that crap. Alicorns are full of themselves and subjugate their fellow ponies. Besides, eternal life sounds boring! Twilight is an exception, but the Princesses are full of-.”
I gently pull Starlight’s reins, urging her to shut up. I don’t want to hear about her politics right now!
“I think you are awesome, anyways, Starlight. You’re nice to me, and you don’t care that my opinions are right-of-center.”
My mount blushes, before finally making her way to the trailer, where the dark teal unicorn opens a curtain and smiles. Starlight quickly tries to make her blush disappear, but she’s too slow!
“Trixie thinks that Starlight likes Noah more than a student…” She purrs, using magic to hand two tickets to Starlight, who places them into her saddlebag.
“Well…he’s exotic, I’ll give you that, Trixie; but it doesn’t matter, because Noah doesn’t have a crush on me. I can dream, Trixie!” Starlight says, as I gently tap her neck, soothing her.
“I will concede that Starlight is a stellar cuddle buddy, and we took a nap in the same bed, but it’s impossible to fall in love overnight. I will also concede that Starlight is fun to be around, but right now, she’s just a friend.”
Starlight nods, approving of my interpretation of our relationship.
“We’re going to get our seats, Trixie. See you soon!” Starlight says, using magic to lift me off of her back, teleporting her riding gear away, since we’re at the amphitheater.“Follow me, Noah!” Starlight says, trotting along slowly, as I try to keep up. The Ponyville amphitheater is not a large venue, but it exhibits a certain wholesome charm. I’d guess that up to one thousand ponies could occupy the amphitheater at maximum capacity! I was tempted to comment to my friend about how this amphitheater looks strikingly similar to those of the Roman Empire, but I don’t want to draw any further negative attention to myself. Following Starlight, we find the Princess of Friendship in a regular seat, just like any other pony here! She beckons the two of us, making room for us to squeeze our way through.
“Hey, Starlight; hey Noah! I have snacks for you two!” Twilight says, opening her saddlebag, emblazoned with her Cutie Mark, and taking out two granola bars. Mmm… granola bars!
“Thanks, Twilight!” We both say in unison, as Starlight goes to sit next to her former teacher, and I sit next to her.
“MARES AND GENTLECOLTS! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE WILL BEGIN HER PERFORMANCE IN FIVE MINUTES. CAN THE UNICORNS IN THE AUDIENCE PLEASE PUT THEIR HORNS ON VIBRATE, AS THEIR MAGIC CAN INTERFERE WITH TRIXIE’S MAGICAL OUTPUT. THANK YOU, EVERYPONY!”
I take it that it was Trixie making the announcement since it was heavily given in the third person? Are there speakers here? Oh right, magic ! All logic is thrown out the window in magical horse land!
Twilight looks at me and smiles.
“I take it that you are getting along nicely with Starlight?” She asks me, as I twiddle my thumbs in anticipation.
“Yeah, she’s a nice mare, and she’s been nothing but kind and gentle with me! I’ll tell you, I didn’t expect Starlight to offer her body as a personal taxi service, not that I mind or anything!” I say, chuckling, as Starlight leans her head on my shoulder. Twilight almost gasps in shock.
“She…she’s your special somepony?! In two days?!’ Twilight says in near-abject horror.
“Well, if it were up to me, we’d be dating already, but Noah says we need to be friends, first!” Starlight says with a fake pout on her muzzle. I have to admit, this is cute!
“Indeed, Starlight. Besides, we’re two different species! I don’t think ponies and humans can-.”
“Of course, they can! Love is the ultimate equalizer! My sister-in-law, Princess Cadance taught me that!” Twilight says as a pony on the amphitheater drags a cart onto the stage. I wonder what’s inside the cart? Maybe some cool stuff; only time will tell.
“Actually, Princess, I have a question. Do you have any idea why I can sort of read Starlight’s mind?” I ask the Friendship expert, who puts a hoof on her muzzle and thinks. After a few awkward moments of silence, she comes up with an answer.
“I think it’s because Starlight infused you with her magic! Magic from a unicorn is part of a pony’s very essence, so in a way, a part of you is Starlight! Maybe that’s why she’s head over hooves for you?” Twilight ponders, taking out a notebook and writing down her new findings.
“A part of me is Starlight? Maybe that’s why I find her to be cute sometimes?”
“MARES AND GENTLECOLTS! INTRODUCING…THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!”
The amphitheater begins to applaud loudly and with gusto, as Trixie teleports onto the stage. Her magician’s hat and cape flowing in the evening wind. She revels in the crowd’s applause, before beginning her performance.
“Trixie will begin her act with a simple mind-reading trick!” The navy mare says, spawning a playing card and placing it in her hooves.
“Trixie needs a volunteer for this trick…Equestria was graced with a special guest two days ago, and Trixie would love to invite him to be her volunteer! Can we welcome Noah the Human to the stage?”
Oh…oh dear! Everypony’s eyes, including Twilight’s and Starlight’s, turn towards me, and I hesitantly make my way down the stairs of the theater, going onto the stage. I have to admit, I am a bit nervous.
“Okay, Noah the human, Trixie wants you to hold the card, and look at it. Don’t tell Trixie what the card says!” She hands me the card and I look at it: It’s the ten of clubs!
“Now, fold the card in half and put it in between the floorboards!” She orders, as I crouch down onto the stage floor and shove the playing card in between the floorboards; just as the mare in front of me asks.
“Okay…Trixie is going to cast a soundproof bubble, and you are going to tell the audience what card you had!” She says, her horn lighting up with blue magic, enveloping her in a thick bubble. It’s permeable, evident by the carbon dioxide Trixie is exhaling leaving the bubble, but I can’t hear her speak! I take it that the bubble is soundproof! She is singing, but I can’t hear her!
Hesitantly looking at the equine audience, I told them that I had the ten of clubs. Trixie must have done this trick before, because as soon as I was done talking, the sound bubble burst with a rather quiet pop, and she sat down on her haunches.
“Trixie wants to know if everypony heard the human say what card he had. Can you raise a hoof if you heard what card our volunteer has?”
The entire audience raised their front right hoof, and I could spot Twilight and Starlight in the middle rows! I waved to them before Trixie cleared her throat, eager to continue with her performance.
“So, are you ready for Trixie to blow your mind, along with everypony here?” She coos, as the crowd begins to get riled up in excitement.
“Sure, Trixie. What card did I have?” I ask, unsure of this mare’s magical potential. She ignites her horn and begins to glow. I take it that this is just showmanship because Starlight is able to read my mind without all of the pomp and circumstance. After a good thirty seconds or so of Trixie doing this, the strobing pony calms down and clears her throat yet again.
“Trixie believes with utmost certainty that the card Noah the human had…”
Casting another spell, she puts her front hooves together and then opens them, revealing a folded card, with fold marks straight down the middle.
“Was the ten of clubs!” Trixie bellows, unfolding the card with her magic, and casting a spell on it to make the card as big as the stage itself! I wasn’t expecting that, that’s for sure!
The crowd went wild, and I could have sworn that even Princess Twilight Sparkle cracked a smile.
“Okay, Noah, Trixie thanks you for being a volunteer. Go back to your seat and enjoy the show!” She chuckles, as I slowly climb down from the stage, and try to make my way back towards my teacher/friend and Twilight. Finally making my way back, Twilight chuckles.
“Typical Trixie…now you know what I had to deal with a few years back. I have to admit, her magic is better than before, but she used to be a braggart who couldn’t back it up!” The alicorn explains to me, as Starlight nods in approval.
“She’s still a braggart, but I got her to get that under control; for now, at least!” My friend says, putting her muzzle on my shoulder yet again. I think she really likes me!
For the next hour or so, the magic show continued its first act, and the tricks were mostly parlor style. More card readings, the occasional duplication trick (although they actually duplicated, due to unicorn magic!), and even sawing a pony in half! I am surprised that one went well, because Bon Bon was the volunteer, and she looked mortified when her flank was separated from the rest of her body! Not to mention that Trixie was very clumsy with the saw. Thankfully, Bon Bon made it out in one piece, albeit a bit nauseous!
“Trixie is going to take a ten-minute break, and then she will do the FINAL act of the night. Thank you for understanding!” The magician says, teleporting off the stage. I wonder where she went?
“I have a good feeling of what Trixie is going to do for her final act,” Twilight says, whispering something into Starlight’s ear. The two ponies giggle, and I wonder what could possibly be so funny?
“Noah…she’s going to launch fireworks out of her horn. The last time she tried this, she was in the Ponyville Hospital for a month with third-degree burns!” Starlight says, both laughing at the idea and worried for her friend’s safety.
“I am sure she’ll be fine,” I say, to which Twilight nods.
“Yeah…she’s not a fool or a foal for that matter. Maybe she’s finally gotten the hang of it?” Twilight says as I take a bite out of my granola bar before Starlight takes it with her magic and finishes it in one quick bite.
“Friends share, especially special someponies .” Starlight says, sticking out her tongue at me. Oh, how mares never change…
Trixie teleports back onto the stage, and everypony redirects their attention to the mare in front of them. She took off her cape! I think this means she’s getting serious!
“AND NOW…FOR TRIXIE’S FINAL ACT….FIREWORKS!”
The magician mare begins charging a spell from her horn, and everypony there watched in awe, eager to see what majestic designs Trixie came up with for today’s performance. Everypony except for Twilight Sparkle! She looked horrified, almost like she knew something bad would happen.
“Her form is off. She’s going to set the amphitheater on fire!” Twilight whispers to us, jittering in her seat.
Nah, I think everything will be fine. Right? Right?
BOOM!
Something obviously went wrong, because the spell left Trixie’s horn, and bounced off the wooden panels, engulfing them in flames! Everypony began to scream, and the pegasi took to the skies and began to rearrange the clouds? Is that what Starlight meant by pegasi controlling the weather? They began to jump up and down on the clouds, making them pour torrent after torrent of rain onto the stage, quickly dousing the feral flames. A few ponies, who I assume were first responders, went up onto the stage and checked Trixie’s vitals.
“Trixie…is…okay!” She mustered, winking at the audience, who didn’t clap at her but didn’t boo, either.
“I told you this would happen, Noah!” Twilight says in a singsong voice, before teleporting away; presumably for Princess duties or something like that?
Something inside me, and probably inside Starlight, told me that I needed to go check on Trixie. I jumped out of my seat, and dashed down the stairs of the mezzanine, looking for Trixie. Starlight was right on my tail, and we pushed through pony after pony trying to find her!
Finally making our way to the stage, the two of us see a broken and battered Trixie, bawling her eyes out, with burn marks all over her body! I am glad that there isn’t any blood! I get squeamish with gore.
“T…Trixie just wanted to make everypony smile tonight!” She bawls, as the medic ponies carefully bandage her hooves, the mare wincing in pain.
I usually don’t feel empathy for people, or ponies, for that matter, but I felt really bad for Trixie! Maybe she wasn’t trying to boast tonight, and really was trying to make Ponyville smile. I can respect that! I went over to her and embraced her tightly.
“Trixie…thinks you are a good friend, Noah the human. Starlight is doing a great job!” She says, trying to stop crying.
“Try to be more careful next time, Trixie!” Starlight says playfully, as she, too, embraces the unicorn magician.
I don’t know why, but all of a sudden, I feel warm, and Starlight feels warm, too!
“Noah…what’s going on?!” Starlight says, as six streaks of light pierce the sky, crashing onto the stage. One of them looks like the Cutie Mark on Twilight Sparkle!
These six objects began to shoot pure beams of magical energy at Starlight, completely evaporating her in seconds!
Did…did my teacher just die? What does a botched firework trick have to do with vaporizing ponies?!
Trixie and I both scream, and we cry in each other’s arms.
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 8: Friendship Gives You Wiiings!
Did…did my teacher just die?
I’m holding Trixie in my arms, as she is crying from the shock of losing her friend, and the serious burns she self-inflicted due to the fireworks spell that she cast.
“T-Trixie doesn’t know what happened to Starlight! Where did she go?” She asks me, horrified that possibly her only friend got vaporized off the face of the earth; or in this case, Equestria. I think the six objects that incinerated my teacher are the Elements of Harmony, but I can’t know for sure.
“T-Trixie thinks we should both go home. Do…do you have a key to Starlight’s house?” She asks me, as the medic ponies finally finished casting healing magic, numbing the pain the magician mare faced, as well as initiating the healing process.
“Can you stand up on your own four hooves, Trixie?” I ask her, awkwardly helping the mare stand up by lifting her barrel from the floor. She buckles a bit under her weight, uneasy on her hooves, but after a few awkward seconds she is steady once again!
“I don’t think I have a key to Starlight’s house. I don’t mind walking you home! Actually, I don’t know where you live!” I say sheepishly, as Trixie laughs.
“Trixie lives in her trailer, the one you and Starlight rode past on your way here!” She says, using magic to drag her saddlebag over from behind the stage. She begins to search through it, looking for something. What is she looking for?
“Trixie needs something to drink! Trixie thinks she has a water bottle, but she’s not sure!” She pouts, not being able to find a water bottle or other nourishing beverage. Deactivating her magic, she slowly walks off the stage, now drenched in water from the pegasi extinguishing Trixie’s fire.
I don’t know what else to do! Trixie is making her way home, and I don’t have a key to the house where I live! More importantly, is Starlight dead?! "By all normal standards on Earth, seeing six "magical" artifacts atomize a living thing would be extremely frightening. However, as much as I think that Starlight is dead, Equestria has proven itself to be an incredibly bizarre place, where all bets are off and rules are meant to be broken!
I need to find Twilight. I don’t really know any ponies here other than Lyra and Sweetie Drops, but if anypony knows if or how Starlight can be found, it would be Twilight! It seems that focusing on making sure Trixie was okay prevented me from noticing that most of the ponies at Trixie’s performance have left! I don’t see Lyra or Bon Bon anywhere! I make my way down from the stage and I see a few Earth Ponies; one of them, a tall red stallion, with an apple Cutie Mark on his flank. I don’t really see anypony else, and since the red pony is the first one that I see, I decide to ask him for advice.
“Can I help you? My name is Big Macintosh. You’re the human visitor, right?” The stallion says, holding out a hoof to shake my hand. Learning from my past pony interactions, I firmly grasped the stallion’s hoof and shook it.
“Woah, mister, you have a firm grip. Maybe we can hoof wrestle some time! Now, I did see your teacher get, uh, I don’t know. Vaporized? bucked into the void? All I know for sure is that I saw my sister Applejack’s Element There. If anypony knows what could have happened, we need to go find her.” Big Mac says, galloping off without remembering that I was right next to him!
“I was right over-” I give up. I need to get fit. I tried to run after the red apple stallion, and while I can’t keep up with him, he was nice enough to wait a few seconds every now and then to make sure I was within his field of vision. I am losing my breath trying to keep up with Big Macintosh, but I am determined to follow him. After twenty minutes or so, I finally make my way to this ranch where Big Macintosh is running into a barn, looking for something or somepony.
“I wonder who he is looking for?” I think to myself, as the red stallion comes back out with an orange Earth Pony mare. She’s a bit shorter than Starlight, but she’s still taller than me! Makes sense. These “ponies” are just pastel talking horses, anyways! The orange pony makes her way towards me and eyes me very carefully.
“Looks like we’ve caught a live one here, Big Mac!” She says dryly to her brother, who just nods.
“Alrighty, jokes aside, my name’s Applejack. We met briefly at the Cutie Map. It seems like your two-legged behind is in a pickle!” She quickly deduces.
“Indeed I am. I don’t know where Starlight went. We went to go help Trixie, and-.”
“You went to help that bragging dishonest little brat? I’ll take it you’re a kind soul. I’m proud of you for that.” She smiles, tipping her hat down in respect. Heh. She’s a sassy pony, I’ll give her that!
“Yeah, I helped her out. You weren’t there, but she tried this firework spell, and gave herself serious second-degree burns! It wasn’t fun, not one bit! The pegasi had to rearrange the clouds and doused the Ponyville Amphitheater with water. The floors are warped beyond recognition!” I say, to which the pony winces.
“Gosh, that sucks. But, there must be a different reason why you’re here. I love visitors. Did you come for apple fritters? They’re so good that it makes sense for an alien from another planet to come and try them!” She says, clearly proud of her or her family’s epicurean skills.
“Actually, that’s not why I am here. You see, my teacher, Starlight Glimmer, just vanished after six weird rocks incinerated her off of the face of Equestria. Big Macintosh told me that you might have some insight?” I ask, before Applejack’s eyes widen in either awe or fear. Again, I am autistic, so reading emotions from humans or ponies is not one of my innate talents. I’ll just wait to see what the pony has to say.
“I’m pleased to tell you, sugarcube, that your teacher is alive. The exact same thing happened to Twilight a few years back, and she came back with a pair of wings! Your friend over there is comin’ back an alicorn!”
Wait…what? Starlight as an alicorn? I don’t know if I should laugh or be horrified!
“You look shocked. I’m shocked, too. The last alicorn before Twilight was Princess Cadence, and she showed up eight hundred and seventy-five years before Twilight did! Two alicorns in under five years is certainly a record in Equestrian history! The only question is, how long is she going to be in between worlds? Twilight was MIA for seven and a half hours. It could be a while.”
I smile in abject horror and excitement at the prospect of my teacher becoming an alicorn.
“Tell you what. You can sleep here until she comes back with those fancy wings of hers. I take it Starlight has your key. It’s fine. We have fresh apple muffins inside. We have gluten-free and nut-free. Hospitality is our MO at Sweet Apple Acres. We don’t want nopony to suffer an allergic reaction!” Applejack says, beckoning me to come inside her estate to try her apple-themed baked goods.
Hm. I hope what Applejack is saying is the truth. It would suck to be here without Starlight. She’s really nice, and I want to hang out with her! Let’s see if she gets those newfangled wings!
***
All I remember is that I went to go check on Trixie with Noah, and he consoled her after seriously hurting herself. Then, there was a flash of rainbow light, and, well, I am just waking up. Hold on, something’s not right. There’s no floor. How can there possibly be no floor! I look beneath my hooves, and all I see is the vast emptiness of... well I am not sure of what! I see billions of colors underneath me in every possible shade and hue. Moving my head around, I see that this kaleidoscope envelops the entire landscape. Am I in Equestria? Am I in between Noah’s world and my own? I really don’t know!
I try not to panic, and I take a few deep breaths. Each inhale and exhale can be easily seen in front of me as cool air leaves my muzzle. Curious as to whether I can walk in this weird place, I put one hoof forward and I am able to connect with the “ground”! I put another hoof forward, and I am able to walk! Curious as to whether this landscape is limited to two or three dimensions, I pivot rightward and walk a few short paces in that direction. All’s good. I can walk in three dimensions. What’s disorienting is that there isn’t anything here! Just vibrant colors, oxygen, and…nothing! I walk around aimlessly, trying to figure out where I am, and if there is any way for me to get back home. I have a human to take care of and teach Friendship to!
Wait, I got it! I can use magic to try and get out of here! I try to light up my horn, but it doesn’t work. I tried a second time, and it doesn’t work. It seems that wherever I am right now, magic cannot be cast! This is a big problem! How can a unicorn not be able to cast magic? This is so weird!
What’s even weirder is that in my peripheral vision, I see images. I can’t make them out, so I trot a bit closer to see what they are. They are moving on a reel, like those new films that Twilight showed me. She said it was a breakthrough in audiovisual technology! And, are those images of me? I think they are. I see myself as a filly playing with Sunburst. I see him getting his Cutie Mark and my temper tantrum afterward. My equality commune! Twilight and her friends finding me, “saving me” and giving me back my old Cutie Mark! The time-traveling escapades I went on, trying in vain to rewrite history!
I also am reminded of Twilight redeeming me, making me her first-ever student of Friendship. I reminisce of my year of repentance, reflection, and understanding; with all the trials and tribulations that came with it! I see my Friendship Lessons, my meetings with Princess Celestia, that whole table setting thing, and -.
“Well, well, well! This is certainly not how I expected to spend my evening!” A rather regal voice says. I take a minute to think about who this regal voice belongs to, and then it hits me. The Sun Princess, the epitome of the upper class and teacher of my own teacher, Princess Celestia.
I need to play it cool and keep my opinions to myself right now, or I could end up in a pile of hay! I try to see where the voice is coming from, but then I hear the sound of hooves, or more specifically horseshoes, trotting along the vast spatial plane. I instinctively curtsey out of respect, as much as it pains me to do so. Celestia is the head mare of Equestria, so not showing respect would be poor etiquette on my part!
“Please, none of that. At ease, Starlight Glimmer. We’re friends, aren’t we?” She says, withholding a playful chuckle. One thing I can’t stand about Princess Celestia is her prankster nature. Either everything is a joke, or she makes everything into a joke. Don’t let your guard down! She can be very serious when she needs to be! Quickly getting upright, I am confused as to what the Sun Princess is doing in the middle of nowhere.
“Princess, may I ask you a question?” I hesitantly ask, wondering if the alicorn in front of me has the knowledge I need at this moment in time.
“Of course, Starlight. You know that you can ask me anything. Having Twilight as your teacher should have taught you that!” She says, both patronizingly and with her playful demeanor.
“Okay, where am I?” I ask, shrugging my shoulders in confusion.
“You are everywhere, and you are nowhere. Frankly, I don’t know where this place is, but what I do know is that Twilight Sparkle was here, just a few short years ago.”
Wait, Twilight Sparkle was here a few years ago?! That means something big is going to happen, right? Oh dear!
“Well…you are one of a select group of ponies to make it here. I showed up here when I raised the sun by myself. Luna showed up here when she raised the moon. Cadence showed up when she made two ponies fall in love and reconcile their differences. Finally, your teacher made it here when she decoded Starswirl’s spell and made tangible Friendship!” Celestia says with pride. I guess she was happy when her #1 student made it here. The question remains, however, Why am I here?
“What am I doing here, then? I didn’t raise the celestial bodies, create love, or make Friendship tangible! Do you know why I am here?” I pester the princess further.
Smiling, she casts a spell, and projects an image of my human student onto the very “floor”.
“The “He-you-main” is why, Starlight.”
“Actually, it’s “human”. Twilight figured out the correct pronunciation!”
“Whatever, that young man is the reason you are here. You not only taught him the basics of Friendship, but you helped a creature who would have had zero chance of finding a friend on his planet find one here. Spreading Friendship to those who need it the most is something that not even Twilight Sparkle was able to do! ”
Wait…Noah is why I am here? Is it because he went over to comfort Trixie after she nearly blew herself up!
“Hold on, Princess. You’re telling me that I am here because of Noah?”
She smiles and puts a wing around me. I have a feeling that she might break out into a musical number, but I seriously hope she doesn’t!
“Bingo. He went to comfort Trixie, not because you told him to, but because he knew it was the right thing to do. He showed empathy, which is something a “human” of his “autistic condition” cannot do under normal circumstances. Alicorns are made when the impossible is made possible."
Wait…alicorns?! I don’t want to be an alicorn! I want to be equal with every other pony in Equestria. I don’t want to live forever, be miserable, and rule over everypony with an iron hoof! I don’t want any of it! Not one bit!
“I can see the look of disgust on your face, Starlight. I know your opinions on alicorns, and I respect them. Having different ideas is welcome in an open and free society like Equestria, which is exactly why the Elements of Harmony chose you to be the next alicorn. Become the Princess of Justice!"
Princess of Justice, huh? It has a nice ring to it, that’s for sure!
"But Princess, I don’t want to be immortal! I want my life to have meaning, and meaning can only be achieved with a finite lifespan!”
The princess is taken aback by my rather stoic comment and takes a minute to come up with a response. She sighs and begins to speak once again.
“What is your human pupil’s name, Starlight?” Celestia asks me, not knowing what Noah’s name is.
“H…his name is Noah, Princess. Why do you ask?”
“Well, “Noah” is going to need somepony to love him and take care of him, now that he can’t go back to his world! You fused souls with the boy to teach him magic!”
That’s right! In order for me to be able to allow Noah to cast magic, I put a small amount of my very essence into his, combining the two giving Noah a triple helix!
“Well, once you become an alicorn in a few short minutes, Noah will be a very happy human! He’ll have somepony who can take care of him, love him , and teach him the skills he needs to survive in Equestria. A Princess of Justice can make sure that Noah is accepted by everypony in Equestria! Perhaps he can even become immortal as well if your souls are linked?”
Noah…immortal? Spending time with me? It sounds too good to be true! I don’t deserve all of this! I was a horrible pony for so many years!
“I have one more thing to ask before I get alicorn’ed.”
Celestia nods.
“Why me? Why do I, Starlight Glimmer, deserve the uncanny gift of wings and eternal life, when I did so many bad things to ponies for so many years. I am a 19-year-old mare, and I spent most of my time hurting ponies that tried to be kind to me!” I am trying not to cry, but tears form at the back of my eyelids, and Celestia gives me a warm embrace.
Celestia smiles once again. “Because you overcame those obstacles, and you helped an alien creature find Friendship! We both know how annoying Trixie can be sometimes, but Noah didn’t care. He showed empathy regardless! Only you were able to teach him that. Not me, not Luna, not Twilight. You!”
I feel an itching sensation around my right cutie mark. Something pops off from it, and I see the very mark itself hover in front of me. It just floats there for a few moments.
“Is…is this going to hurt? Will I know how to fly, or will I have to learn?” I ask, waiting to see where this transformation goes.
“It won’t hurt, Starlight. It will feel like a massage. As for flying, nopony can be a Wonderbolt in one day. I am sure Rainbow Dash or Spitfire will give you a basic flying lesson. Make sure to put that human on your back, Starlight. I am quite sure he would love to fly with you. He is your special somepony, and there’s not much you can do about that. Linking your souls makes you literal soulmates! ”
With that, the Princess of the Sun teleports away, my cutie mark begins to swirl around me; slowly at first, but then it began to spin so fast that I couldn’t even make it out! I feel weightless for a moment, then suddenly I am thrust into the air by this unknown force! Maybe it’s centrifugal force. Or maybe it’s magic? I don’t know! What I do know is that my body is starting to feel warm. It’s not hot, but a pleasant warmth. Not only that but my body starts to glow and the spinning gets faster.
My word, this is euphoric! I don’t think I’ve ever felt this relaxed in my entire life!
Wait…why can’t I see anything? Why do I feel back pain?
I feel…dizzy, like I’m…about to…pass out.…
And then…I was reborn!
***
I have to say that these apple muffins are divine! Applejack and her family certainly know how to make baked goods!
“Hey, Applejack! These are really good! I used to bake every now and then back home, and I was wondering if you could give me the recipe one time?” I ask, practicing using magic to drink out of a mug. She also makes a killer hot cocoa!
“No problem, sugarcube. Just promise me the recipe will be used for personal use, and not for business. I don’t want there to be any legal troubles ‘round these parts!” Applejack says with much chagrin, as her older brother smiles behind her.
“You said it was how long when Twilight was gone the last time this happened?” I ask Applejack, who takes an extra minute to remember.
“Seven and a half hours. You’ve been here since Trixie’s show ended at around 8:00 PM. It’s quarter to midnight! She could show up at any moment, it’s only a matter of time!” Applejack says with certainty.
Well, that’s good to know. I am relieved that Applejack thinks that my teacher, and friend. is going to be alright. It seems to be a bit coincidental that everypony here knows about this alicorn stuff. Are all ponies this magical? Maybe? I don’t know one bit!
I hear a loud knock on the door, and I almost drop the hot cocoa mug, magic deactivating out of shock. Thankfully, I was able to grab the mug with my hands and place it on the coaster in front of me. Applejack and Big Macintosh both race to the door, and Big Macintosh is the first pony to get there. Opening the door, he sees a familiar magician pony, without her hat or cape!
“Trixie wants to know where Noah is! Something crazy just happened!” The magician says, inviting herself inside.
“Woah, hold your horses, Trixie. Apple Bloom is sleeping. I don’t want anypony waking up my little sister!” Applejack says as I make my way to the vestibule of the estate, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.
Trixie sees me, seemingly completely healed from the accident a few hours prior.
“Trixie is VERY glad to see you, Noah. There is something crazy happening in the sky! If the Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t know what it is, then something awesome is happening. Come on, come on, come on! ”
Applejack and Big Macintosh look at each other and then look at me.
“Go with Trixie to find Starlight. I’d wager that’s her messing around with Princess Luna’s night sky. You're welcome to come and visit Sweet Apple Acres at any time, Noah the Human!” Applejack says as I make my way outside with Trixie next to me. If it was really as urgent as Trixie says it is, I have a feeling she’d let me ride on her back, but I am not going to ask her. She just got second-degree burns that magically healed!
“Trixie wants Noah to look up in the sky, turning your head this way!” Trixie says, using magic to manually maneuver my head in a southwestern direction. I see stars, and constellations, and…Starlight’s Cutie Mark?!
It’s getting bigger and bigger, and it seems like it’s coming closer to us. In fact, it is coming closer to us! The normally black night sky is lighting up lilac, while my teacher’s Cutie Mark is pulsating in the sky, both growing in size and getting closer to us. Finally, it explodes with magic, and my hands begin to glow as well! I don’t feel anything, but it must be a reaction to the output of magic around me!
Finally, the massive cutie mark begins to descend from the heavens, shrinking in size ever so slowly. It’s almost as if I am in New York City watching the New Year’s Eve ball drop! When will the cutie mark drop?
“Trixie thinks that Starlight is inside the magical bubble. She senses Starlight’s life energy inside, and it’s thousands of times more powerful than before!” Trixie says in elation. The magical bubble finally touches down on the ground and shrinks to a more, equine shape and size. I think Starlight is in there, but the bubble is a bit taller than her.
Unless…
The bubble popped, and I see Starlight, with two notable additions on her body.
She opens her eyes and spreads her wings instinctively. When she sees me, she tackles me to the floor and gives me hugs and kisses.
“NOAH, I’M AN ALICORN NOW. I TAUGHT YOU EMPATHY!”
Starlight finally lets me get up, and I return the embrace.
“You look…stunning! I don’t think I’ve seen a pony as regal as you. Hell, you have fancy horseshoes now!” I say, pointing to Starlight’s hooves, now decked in lilac and silver horseshoes.
“Woah…pretty. Speaking of alicorns, want to ride one? Somepony has to get home, and I need to try out these new wings!”
“Do I want to ride one? Of course, I want to ride one!!”
With a playful grin, Starlight’s mauve saddle and greenish-gold bridle appear. Trixie looks on in awe, as I gently place the bridle inside Starlight’s mouth, and she puts on her saddle.
“Ready for takeoff, my little rider!” Starlight says, using magic to gently place me in between her new wings. I am curious as to how they feel, and I run my fingers through the feathers. It’s like a down pillow! Damn!
Horn lighting up one more time, the reins are placed gently into my hands.
“Don’t throw up. I’ve never flown before, so I might be a bit…turbulent!” She says as I squeeze her sides with my legs, urging her to go into a prompt gallop. Trixie waves goodbye and Starlight looks at me with a smile.
“Ready to fly, my faithful student?” She asks, spreading her wings in anticipation.
“Ready, Starlight!-”
“Actually, it’s Princess Starlight , now. I’m the Princess of Justice!”
And with that, my friend…er…girlfriend flaps her wings, contracting her pinions, and launches the two of us into the night sky!
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 9: Shining, Glimmering, Splendid!
I’m an alicorn…I’m an alicorn! I don’t want to be an alicorn!
This is the thought that is running through my head as I am turbulently flying home, with my adorable friend Noah on my back. I obviously don’t know how to fly, since I just got these wings today, and my human companion is almost choking me with how hard he is embracing my neck. I feel like our altitude is fluctuating by dozens of feet every second, and I am quite pleased Noah is not vomiting all over me. Time is like a blur, and when I finally make it home, I basically crash through my front door! My impromptu landing knocks Noah off me, sending both of us flying into the bookshelf! We’re both a bit dazzled by this, and I could have sworn Noah has stars in his eyes from being so dizzy.
“Woah. Don't take me flying again until you get a lesson, Glimmer…” Noah says, chuckling as he slowly gets up and tries using magic to put all of the books back. In two days, his magic has improved steadily. I think being in Equestria, combined with my recent promotion, could have expedited the process! I also slowly get up, and I take a minute to gain a feel for my two new feathered appendages. They feel alien to me, but they will now be part of my body forever
“Noah, I want you to do something new,” I say, a bit boldly pulling him closer to me with magic. He is stoic, and looks me in the eyes, wondering what I am going to ask him.
“Sure, as long as it’s not something weird!” He says, helping me remove my bridle. I have to admit, having such an intimate friendship with Noah is rather cute. Ponies obviously don’t mount other ponies, because we’re all the same size; but having a human atop me, muscle relaxant aside, feels right . As he unbuckles the saddle from my body, hanging it up on the coat rack, I try and take a minute to determine the best way of phrasing my question
“It’s not weird, my friend, it’s not weird. I just want you to, uh. Feel my wings again. They’re a new part of my body, and I can’t really feel them. It’s like phantom limb syndrome in reverse! I’m going to have these for a long time, so it would help if you could make it easier for me to feel them!” I say, with a playful giggle.
We both walk into my bedroom, and I plop rather lazily onto my bed. I am both tired and relieved that I made it home in one piece, with my human friend in tow! Noah carefully takes off his shoes and socks. He gets into the opposite side of the bed, and he almost falls asleep on the spot! Today must have been Tartarus on wheels for him; as it was for me!
“Don’t go to LunaLand just yet, my faithful student!” I say in a faux-regal voice, using my magic to slowly pull him closer to me. He is unfazed by this rather audacious action and waits for my next reply.
“Don’t worry, I am not going to smooch you or anything. I just want you to put those fingers of yours onto my wings and make sure they are a real part of my body. I want to feel the bones, the muscles, the tendons, everything! I need to make sure this is real!” I playfully demand, as Noah hesitantly puts his fingers in between my new feathers. I feel his fingers touching them, so I take it that there are real wings and bones there!
“Hey kiddo, I feel your fingers! There are bones here, and muscles, and…”
I also didn’t know how many nerve endings there would be in my wings! I feel like he’s kissing me!
“S…stop!” I say, blushing a bit from it. Noah abruptly pulls his hands away from my wings and wonders what’s going on.
“Did I hurt you? I wouldn’t want to hurt you in a million years!” He says, worried that he hurt me.
“No, Noah, you didn’t hurt me. Apparently, my wings are quite sensitive. Try not to touch them again unless I ask you, okay?” I say, to which my student grins.
“So, it’s like I kissed you, huh? I thought you were the passionate one!” He says, rolling over onto his side, laughing as if he was the most popular comedian in all of Equestria!
Now’s my chance! I got wings, I got immortality (as much as I didn’t want either), and he technically made the first move by massaging my wings, it's go time. Being a bit brash, I go in for the kiss, wings embracing him. For a few moments, he was stunned, wondering why in Celestia’s name a pony would kiss him! He looks like he’s seen a ghost.
Quickly pulling away from him, I realize that I might have stepped too far, too quickly.
Noah looks at me for a moment and then smiles.
“I am not good with subtlety, Princess of Justice . If you wanted me to kiss you, you could have asked! Besides, I don’t care that it’s been three days. You are the nicest mare, or even creature, that I have ever laid my eyes on, and you taught me so much in only three days. If I am to learn the Magic of Friendship, why not also learn the Magic of Love?”
That. Darn. Cute. Ugh!
We both immediately kiss each other, Noah putting his hands around me, and me putting my hooves around him. Since our souls are linked, I can read his mind. I sense that kissing is as far as he wants to go right now, and I will respect that decision. I think I might be enjoying this a bit too much because I am getting a rush of blood to my face! I feel my body getting warmer, too, and Noah’s body gets warmer as well.
“Can we cuddle, Princess of Justice?” He asks me playfully. I take it he’s quite tired, too! I stop kissing him and prop him up comfortably on my bed, his head and neck supported with two pillows.
“Sure, Noah. Tomorrow is Friendship Lesson #3. We’re going to learn all about common interests but I don’t think that will be too hard for you. It’s just protocol!” I say, laying my head on his chest, eager to hear my student’s breathing. I feel his chest rising up and down, and I feel calm.
“Good night, my special some one.” I say, closing my eyes, thankful that I remembered the correct suffix, since Noah isn’t a pony.
“Good night, Starlight-er…Your Grace.” He chuckles, caressing my head gently as we both fall asleep in each other’s hooves and arms.
THE NEXT MORNING.
Was this whole alicorn thing a dream? Am I still regular old me, with a power fantasy? I guess not, because I just woke up, and I moved my wings up and down, accidentally rubbing my feathers in my friend’s face. He sneezes, which wakes him up, as well.
“Ack! Don’t do that again, Starlight. Wait, you’re actually an alicorn? Awesome. Can I fly with you again? I found it to be quite magic-.”
I put a hoof on his chest playfully to grab his attention.
“Nopony will be riding this mare until I learn how to use my wings properly. We could have gotten hurt, or worse!” I say quite seriously. Noah seems understanding, and I take my hoof back. Feeling a bit bold, I go in for another hug, and Noah happily reciprocates.
“This, this is nice.” He says, clearly enjoying the fact that my body is much fluffier, now that I am an alicorn.
Do autistic humans like soft things? Maybe it’s just Noah? All I know for sure is that this stud is the only human I am going to get, and I am sure as hay going to keep him! I give him a small kiss on his forehead, and we both get out of bed, making our way into the kitchen to eat breakfast. I am surprised that it only took one short night for me to get some feeling in my new wings. I would have thought that it would take more time! All I know for sure is that I am not flying anywhere until Rainbow Dash gives me a quick lesson!
“I’ll make pancakes!” Noah says, using his newly learned magic to rummage through my kitchenette, putting together the ingredients needed to make pancakes! I take it my special someone likes his with blueberries. Not bad!
“I’d recommend flipping those pancakes manually, Noah. I don’t want you to get burned like Trixie did last night!” I point out, to which Noah deactivates his magic, and turns on the griddle manually. He pours four small portions of batter onto the griddle when I hear a knock on my door.
“Is my student a goddess now? What did I miss?!”
The shrill voice of Twilight Sparkle makes its way towards my ears. I sigh, opening the door telekinetically. I see my former teacher, mane still frizzy from just waking up, with a genuine smile on her face.
“Morning, Noah the Human. I take it your friend over here let you fly home? Surprised that you’re not broken and bruised. It took me a whole week to learn how to fly, but I have a feeling Starlight will figure it out in one day or less! I know you two like to be one pony, with him sitting on you and you taking him places, but until you can use those wings-.”
“I know, Ma’am, I know. Starlight said the same thing to me this morning. It’s fine.” He replies, flipping the first two pancakes, now that the front sides are golden brown.
“Now, to more important matters. After the show, I went back to my castle, and at around midnight I saw your Cutie Mark in the sky. I assumed that was you becoming an alicorn. At least I have the decency to wait until morning to tell you about your coronation. Oh, your human friend can come, too! It’s tomorrow!”
A coronation? Why?
“Wait, my girlfriend is getting crowned as a princess?” Noah asks as I blush at the affectionate comment.
“Wait…you two are an item?! I give up; Celestia help me…THREE BUCKING DAYS AND YOU TWO ARE-.”
Noah smiles as the first two pancakes are ready. He flips them off the griddle, before flipping the next two onto their other side. He then pours two more portions of batter, and begins to reply, quite casually at that!
“Starlight over here fused souls with me when I asked to learn magic. We are literally soulmates, Princess. I also thought it was crazy, but she made the first move last night, giving me a kiss.”
I want to strangle him! He was the one who massaged my wings. But then again, I was the pony who asked him to do so in the first place!
“It’s true, Twilight. We did fuse souls, and I guess that means we are more than friends. It doesn’t matter, because I will still teach him Friendship! He’s still going to live with me when the course is over, and I have a feeling my new wings gave him immortality, too!”
Twilight looks like she is about to vomit, but she clears her throat and scans my human lover with her magic. Magic scanning him from head to “toe”, her face turns white.
“Noah…you can’t die!”
He almost drops the spatula on the floor, but he catches it with his magic.
“I can’t die? Bullcrap, Princess. Of course, I can.”
Twilight does something crazy. She sends a massive blast of pure magic directly at Noah, and it hits him point-blank. Nothing happens!
“That hurt a lot, Twilight, but HOLY CRAP, I CAN’T DIE!”
“I guess that means I have no excuse not to make you my royal consort .” I say, with a hearty laugh.
“Save the love semantics for Cadance. In the meantime, I need to tell you about the coronation! Celestia told me this morning that tomorrow you will become the “Princess of Justice”. I don’t know what your mandate will be with this position, but I know that the mandate involves both of you! Noah, you are going to be the “Rider of Justice”!”
Noah finishes making the pancakes for the both of us, and he gets out not two, but three plates!
“Pancake, Twilight?” He asks, to which my teacher declines.
“Rider of Justice, huh. What does that mean?” He asks Twilight, who pulls up a chair for herself and sits down.
“Well, you are a political person, and your…marefriend is political. Since you ride her around all the time like a common workpony, Celestia thinks giving you a title as Starlight’s equal would make sense! You like law, so you can bring justice to Equestria with Starlight, once you've done that Friendship Course of yours!”
“Wait, we both need to be getting to Canterlot for tomorrow, and Noah still has to take his Friendship Lessons? How are we going to do both at the same time?! Canterlot is a three-day train ride away, and-.”
“You can fly , Starlight. Rainbow Dash is giving you the flying intensive in twenty minutes, and your friend over there will enjoy the view on your fancy saddle . Noah, don’t ride your friend over there until the intensive is over. I will be foalsitting you and giving you your first Friendship Test. Starlight, eat your breakfast, and bring your sorry flank to the Cutie Map posthaste!”
I don’t usually rush with my food, but if I’m getting coronated, and Noah is getting tested, I need to hurry up! Eating my pancakes in a very un-princess-like manner, I teleport my saddlebag to the kitchen via “Want it, Need it.”, and bolt out the door, galloping towards the Castle of Friendship! Oh, I have a feeling my special someone will enjoy riding me a heck of a lot more once I can get the hang of flying!
***
Friendship Test? Eh, I am not worried. Twilight seems to be quite happy with herself. Is it because her student became a goddess? Is it because I became immortal? I don’t want to ask, I don’t want to get into a hot mess!
“Okay, Noah. Now that you’ve finished your pancakes. I will issue your Friendship Test. It’s easy! Just listen to five things about me, and then tell them back in your own words!”
Oh, this is fun! I just did this with Starlight and Trixie. I think this will be a rather simple exam!
“Ready when you are, Princess Twilight!” I say, sitting upright and ready to hear Twilight’s five points about herself.
“Okay! So, my name is Twilight Sparkle. I am an alicorn, the Princess of Friendship, and I like to read. In fact, I like to read so much that I have over two hundred and fifty thousand books in my library; in over fifteen languages! I have always loved to learn, and I wanted to open a School of Friendship, which is why I brought you here as a test student! Now that your world can’t be accessed anymore, I’ll bring in the non-ponies of Equestria, and you can hang out with Starlight! Now, what did I say?”
Woah, Twilight talks fast, this shouldn’t be too hard, right?
“Well, your name is Twilight Sparkle, and you are the Princess of Friendship. You love to read, to the point that you have over two hundred and fifty thousand books, in fifteen distinct languages. Due to your love of education, you want to open a School of Friendship, and I was the test dummy. Sadly, you can’t access Earth anymore, so you are going to teach “non-pony species” Friendship instead. How did I do on this oral exam? Also, what are “non-pony species?””
Twilight smiles at me and writes something down in her journal. When she’s done with that, she gives me her undivided attention.
“You passed with flying colors! I am glad you got the hang of listening, and you finished the first unit of the Friendship Course. Feel free to thank Trixie for that. I know you two are friends now, too! To answer your other question, there are several other species of sapient creatures that call Equestria home.”
Other sapient creatures? Like what? Would it be rude to ask? Ah, screw it, I can’t die, and I am going to live here forever , so I might as well ask.
“So, what other sapient things live here besides ponies?” I ask Twilight, who eagerly nods and teleports a book into her hooves.
“How’s your common Ponish?” She asks me, as she tosses the book over to me. I open it, and I can understand what it says.
“I guess the soul merging did more than make me have the hots for Starlight?” I say, reading through the entire 500-page book in a matter of seconds. I think my normal autistic speedreading is enhanced with magic!
“Not bad, kid. Not bad. I read at that pace, too. If you want, you can come to my personal library and go through some stuff. If you want to learn magic, you need to catch up! Now, for non-ponies, there are changelings, yaks, dragons, seaponies, and kirin on this continent. There are also sapient birds, cat humanoids, and zebras, too!” Twilight quickly responds, answering my question with erudition.
“Well, thanks for invigilating my Friendship Test. I wonder what Starlight is up to right now with flying lessons?”
I just hope she’s not going through the pony gauntlet or anything!
***
I don’t think I have galloped this fast in my entire life! Even when Noah was riding me around for these past few days, I never broke 35 miles an hour. I know Rainbow Dash is very serious when it comes to flying, so I don’t want to aggravate her! I feel my heart beating out of my chest, and after ten painful minutes, I arrive at the Castle of Friendship. I was half expecting for the drawbridge to come down, but instead, a blue pegasus with a familiar rainbow trail bolted out the window and landed next to me.
She eyes me carefully, examining my new wings, before writing something down in a notebook. I didn’t even know Rainbow Dash knew how to read, let alone write. I guess when it has to do with flying, she can pull it through. Once she’s done writing everything down, she sits on her haunches and looks me in the eye.
“So, the commiepony got wings. How ironic!” She says, laughing at herself. I am really not in the mood for politics! I want to punch her in the muzzle for the snide comment she just made, but princesses don’t behave like that; at least I don’t think they do.
“Har har, very funny. Are you going to teach me how to use these wings or not?” I say, stomping a hoof on the ground to get Rainbow’s attention. The pegasus mare is startled but doesn’t comment further on my “get to the darn point” attitude.
“Okay. The first thing I want you to do is spread your wings. I want to measure your wingspan.”
I listen to my flying instructor and spread my wings out to full width. Since Noah gave me that awkward massage, I can feel the muscles and nerve endings in my wings, so I know they are a real part of my body. Rainbow Dash pulls out a ruler from her saddlebag, and she measures my wings accordingly, before writing down her findings on a Wonderbolts notepad.
“Alright, Starlight. You have a wingspan of around nine feet and change. That’s quite normal for a pony your size. You're a medium-sized mare, so you are in the normal wingspan bracket for a pony like you. Now, stats aside, I want to see what you can do before I teach you anything. Can you move those wings? Can you take off?”
Hmm, I was able to take off last night, although I think it was an adrenaline thing. Quickly flapping my wings, I am able to hover a few feet in the air, as Rainbow Dash does the same. Rainbow cracks a grin, before pointing to a giant obstacle course that is being set up in the clouds by the Wonderbolts! It looks quite daunting!
“Everypony I have put through this thing can fly on their own within one single attempt. It’s foalproof! Come on, Starlight. I think you can do it. Just fly up to the first cumulus over there, and give it a shot!”
She grins and slaps me on the back in a rather cordial manner. I take a deep breath and flap my wings rhythmically as I ascend to the aforementioned cloud. When I finally make my way to it, I stop flying and am surprised to see that I can stand on the cloud; without any magic, at that!
Dashie looks up and sticks her tongue out. “Welcome to pegasus magic 101. No need for spells or anything to cloud walk. You just naturally stand on it and don’t fall. Take your time, and make your way through the obstacle course. The average completion time is five and a half minutes! One more thing: Flying isn’t about flapping your wings, or trying to be fast. It’s about breathing! You need to get as much oxygen into your blood as possible to fly with ease!”
Getting oxygen into my blood, huh? This could be done in two ways. I can either hyperventilate, getting air in short bursts, or I can inhale slowly, fill up my lungs, and exhale slowly. This could increase my lung capacity, and make flying a lot easier! I take a deep breath, and I pay attention to the air entering my body. I feel a cool flow of oxygen enter my lungs, and my wings feel lighter and loftier than before.
“Alright, ready?” Rainbow Dash says, quickly coming up to my cloud, and checks her stopwatch. I’ll give the Wonderbolts credit: they are always at the cutting edge of science and technology, and their tech is often decades ahead of the rest of Equestria’s! I wonder what Twilight thinks about all their tech?
“I’m ready, Rainbow,” I say, spreading my wings once more in anticipation for the flying gauntlet to come.
“Three…two…one…GO!”
She blows a whistle, and I am off!
Five and a half minutes later
Ugh…that was Tartarus incarnate, but I can use these wings now! I don’t feel like a foal when I am flying, and Rainbow Dash doesn’t seem to be worried about me anymore.
“You did great, Starlight. Now, go find that human friend of yours and show him your stuff!” She says, quickly flying away. I guess she only wanted to see me for the basic flying lesson? It doesn’t matter, anyways. Trying to conserve my energy, I teleport back home, and I find my student reading dozens of books all at once! I am actually a bit horrified by this!
“Noah, what the hay are you doing?” I ask him, flabbergasted by the ludicrous speed my pupil is reading.
“Reading some magic books. That’s all. Twilight told me that your alicorn ascension gave me a boost. I can read 25 books all at once! I can hold my own in magic now, but I don’t expect to be good! I still need years of practice. How was flying?” He asks me, quickly snapping his fingers and putting all of the books back where he found them.
“Well, I can fly now, and I don’t like to be late. Pack your bags, we’re going to Canterlot. You are going to fly on your pony girlfriend there!”
He blushes, trying to find a suitable backpack or saddlebag to use for his travels.
“How long are we going to be there, Glimmer?” He asks me, finding a spare saddlebag in the closet. He throws in some clothes and his medicine.
“Not sure. Pack for a long weekend. I can carry you and a backpack, silly!” I chuckle, as Noah finally finishes packing. To make sure he didn’t forget anything, I drag his bag over with my magic and analyze the contents. It’s all good! For a human who’s deficient in executive functioning, he sure can pack! Maybe it’s a skill he learned over time?
“Starlight, I have a question before we go. Do you know if Trixie is going to be at your coronation? She’s one of my friends, too!”
Aw, he’s thinking of others before himself! I love that.
“I think she’s coming, but I have a feeling she’ll take the train, or ask Twilight to zap her there. I wouldn’t want anypony to miss my big day, now, saddle me up so I can show you my new skills!” I playfully order as Noah gives me a rather sly look.
“As you wish, milady.” He drly says, grabbing my saddle and bridle from the coat rack.
He takes an extra minute to help me with my equipment, so he doesn’t accidentally clip one of my wings! I take it that saddles weren’t designed for winged ponies, but Noah seems to know what he’s doing. I gently open my mouth as he inserts the cold metal bit, firmly closing my maw and adjusting the straps. I am impressed that I can talk through this thing! I guess magic helps a little? Once I am all set and ready, I teleport the two of us outside, and I look directly at my human paramour.
“Now that I am a princess, Noah, there are a few ground rules. You need to ask my permission before climbing onto me.” I am trying not to laugh, but I enjoy messing with Noah. He knows I am joking, and he likes spending time with me, anyways.
“Very well, Starlight.” He clears his throat and asks: “Princess of Justice. I am a meager human with no means of flying on my own. I beseech you in your infinite kindness to allow me to mount Her Grace for means of transport.” He says in what I assume would be his world’s version of the Royal Canterlot dialect?
I drag him closer to me with my magic and plant a big kiss on his cheek, which is a bit weird with a bridle in my mouth.
“The Princess eagerly consents to having a passenger. Climb aboard and secure yourself atop the regal mare. I don’t want you to get hurt!” I reply as Noah does just that; he grabs my saddle and hoists himself atop me, securing his legs in the stirrups. Remembering that he needs the bridle to balance, I cast a quick spell putting the reins into the young man’s hand.
“Next step, my love. Entice me to take off!” I say with much chagrin. My friend is more than eager to oblige, and he firmly presses his legs into my sides. I am quite relieved that he’s not pressing against my wings! They are a sensitive area, indeed!
“Princess of Justice, I have but one request: giddy up! ” He says with a bit of mischief in his voice. I raise my front hooves to build up potential energy and speed and quickly enter a full gallop. I remember to cast my odometer/speed spell, now updated with altitude, so my rider knows all of my stats!
“Hooves up in three…two…one!” I exclaim, contracting my supracoracoideus muscles to raise my body, along with Noah’s, into the air. I am more steady this time, and with a few quick flaps, we’re already above the clouds! My rider whoops for joy, and I can’t help but laugh. Even though this is my second time flying, I feel as if this is more special for him than it is for me. I’d kiss him right here and now, but we’re flying, so it’s not the best idea!
“THIS IS AWESOME! I LOVE YOU STARLIGHT!” He exclaims, urging me with those fancy ropes of his to go faster and faster:
STARLIGHT GLIMMER THE ALICORN: PRINCESS OF JUSTICE
200 HORSEPOWER
One adorable human passenger
Current Speed: 100 miles per hour
Altitude: 5’750 feet above sea level
Odometer: 65,003 miles
“Hey, Glimmy, did you know your stats are exponentially higher, now that you’re an alicorn? We’re going crazy fast, and I don’t even feel dizzy!” He exclaims, enjoying the view that I am giving him of Equestria from above.
“Not surprised. Trixie did say I am thousands of times more powerful. Now. I have a question for you. Want to go even higher?”
I think I can go to around 15,000 feet without the air thinning out. I’m fine going to a vacuum, but Noah needs his air!
“Of course, I do, honey!” He says, giving me a hug.
“Well, you know the drill, stimulate my sides and-.”
“This is going to be fun, Glimmer! Let’s roll!”
The boy’s got style! I am glad he doesn’t hurt me when he does this. My muscles contract even more, and we rise higher and higher into Celestia’s sky. We finally level out after a good minute or so of ascending, and I level out my wings to glide. We continue to fly like this for a while, spotting a few pegasi flying beneath the cloud line. I think I am flying high enough to avoid detection, and I don’t want the pegasi to knock my boyfriend off me!
“Noah, want to know a fun alicorn fact?” I ask him as he takes in the view. I have a good idea where I am going with this, but I am not sure if Noah will follow. Only time will tell!
“Sure. I think that ties into Friendship Lesson #3: Common Interests. I like science, and you like science!” He says, laughing at himself.
“Okay, sure thing. Alicorns, like pegasi, can stand on and manipulate clouds.” I say, spotting a large cumulonimbus up ahead. I slow down my flapping pattern and glide towards it. Gently placing my four hooves onto the cloud, Noah is confused.
“Why did we stop, Starlight?” He asks me, wondering if it’s safe for him to dismount me,
“You can dismount, Noah. You’re with me, and your magic is linked to mine.”
Hesitantly letting go of my reins, he climbs down and removes my bridle, awestruck at the fact he’s standing on a cloud! I take it that this is not a possible feat in Noah’s homeworld?
“Why did we stop? You didn’t answer my question, Glimmy. I am confused!” He says before I put a hoof on his shoulder and caress it.
“Because you’re going to make me a real princess now.” I grin at this fun revelation. Noah looks uncomfortable, and I get it. He’s probably not used to having intimate relations with talking goddess ponies.
“I don’t want to, Starlight. It’s too soon and-.”
Deeply kissing him, thanks to my bridle being removed, I stroke his hair and reassure him.
“We have our souls linked. You have all my memories, and I have all of yours. I know how to make you happy, and you know how to make me happy. Do me this one favor before I become a princess and we have no private time? I promise it won’t hurt.”
Feeling less stressed, he sighs. “I…I’ve never done this before. I am scared.” He says, before I gently lower myself onto my barrel, laying on the cloud.
“I will be with you. Nopony is doing anything they don’t want to. I can read your mind. I know you want this, just as much as I do. We’ll go nice and slow, Noah.”
He gently lies down onto the cloud and shudders. I turn over onto my back and open my hooves in an open embrace, wings spread as well.
“Let’s start by massaging my wings. Then I will give you a reward!”
I have a feeling I will be making Noah a stallion, and he’ll be making me a princess! I am not worried one bit. We have each other, and we’ll be just fine!
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 10: Shining...Justice...Starting to Bloom!
Holy crap. I kissed a horse. I did more than kiss a horse. I don’t know what to say, but she sure knows how to make a guy feel relaxed. Ethical questions of interspecies lovemaking aside, one thing’s for sure. I feel like a million bucks! My word, it’s a good thing that we are both on a cloud since nopony could see what we were doing! Regardless, right now my girlfriend-.
“It’s marefriend, Noah. You need to use the proper prefix. I am not a girl, I am a mare!” Starlight pipes into my own thought process. I need to get used to this. Right, since my marefriend and I are in aftercare mode, she thought it would be a good idea to teach me my third Friendship lesson while I am still winded!
“That’s right, Noah. Common interests, our third Friendship Lesson. Let’s just say that besides making me feel like a Princess, you have a lot of my interests! We both like reading, political stuff, activism regarding political stuff , and magic!” Starlight says, yet again breaking my train of thought. I am a bit annoyed with this tendency of hers, but I need those wings to get back down to the solid ground, so I am not going to make this into a bigger issue than it is!
We’ve been discussing Equestrian politics on this cloud for a while now, and I am a bit confused by this diarchy system. Why are there other Princesses, if they don’t have an actual role in government? It seems rather opaque and bizarre.
“Glimmy, I have a question. Why are you, Cadence, and Twilight princesses, but the three of you aren’t in a real, functional role in government?” I ask Starlight, who is a bit too busy enjoying the cuddles that I am giving her to fully pay attention.
“Well, I am not a princess yet. I will be crowned tomorrow, but your question still stands. My teacher and Cadence are in more of a ceremonial role than a governing role. The Equestrian Constitution stipulates that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are co-equal rulers of Equestria and its colonies, while Cadence is a de-facto ruler of the Crystal Empire.”
Wait, what’s a Crystal Empire? I am obviously missing something!
“What a Crystal Empire, Glimm-.”
“A vassal state of Equestria. It used to be an independent kingdom, but somepony got a bit of a colonial streak, usurped King Sombra’s throne, and installed her niece as the ruling sovereign. Nepotism and imperialism, a dangerous combination!” She says, gently placing her newly grown wings around me. Aww! Affection aside, I am a bit suspicious at how one-sided Starlight is with regard to her description of Equestrian politics, given her known leftist stance on almost everything, but I don’t know enough to successfully rebuttal her!
“And what about Twilight. I saw those six weird Elements of Harmony that zapped you into a pony goddess, but what role does Friendship play in Equestria at a macro level?” I inquire further, as I get up to stretch my legs on this cloud. It’s a rather wide cumulonimbus, where I can walk around quite easily, and in all four directions without fear of falling! Starlight yawns, but she also gets up to stretch her hooves, scanning the cloud to see where she placed her saddle and bridle.
Turning around to look at me, she comes up with a reply to my previous question: “Well, Friendship isn’t just a social value in Equestria, but also a physical, tangible force that can be manipulated to achieve means to an end. It’s a lot like a book. It can be read, written, and rewritten, and different ponies will have other opinions on how it should be. Even with this, everypony can enjoy it and appreciate the benefits it has to give!” Starlight exclaims as I am thinking about the information she gave me.
I am honestly trying to wrap my measly human mind around pony politics, and I realize that I am probably going to agree to disagree with my marefriend on basically everything. Starlight told me during our first act that she is going to make everypony equal, including me, so, I take it she still wants her commune?
“Your darn right I want to make everypony equal. I am going to be the Princess of Justice, and I want everypony to be in perfect equality! As for you, Rider of Justice , I will allow for your free-market ideas, as long as Celestia lets me nationalize all utilities!” She grins, finally spotting her saddle and bridle on the edge of the cloud. She fastens the saddle onto her, but she takes an extra minute to make sure all the straps are attached. I guess being on a cloud makes you extra cautious?
I am not going to open this can of worms with her, about how government control of prices is a bad idea, but I like the company (and the company ) and I enjoy spending time with her. Maybe I just need to learn how to open my mind to new ideas?
“Indeed you do! That’s Friendship Lesson #4, actually. Open Exchange of Ideas and Friendly Debate. It’s a good thing you got me as your teacher because Twilight wouldn’t have taught you zip about equality! Now, help me with the bridle and ride me! We have to make it to Canterlot sooner than later! I pride myself on punctuality!” Starlight says, as I carefully walk atop the clouds to where my regal mount is standing.
She lights up her horn, passing me the bridle with her magic. I know what to do. I carefully attach the bridle to Starlight, making sure not to knock her teeth or cause gum pain. Once everything is in place, Starlight grins.
“Alright. You have proven yourself quite the stallion today, but for now, you are going to ride me in a more practical manner. Hop on! We’re going to Canterlot!” Starlight says eagerly, as I put my right foot into her stirrup, lifting myself onto the alicorn. With a swoop of my left leg, I am steadily astride her, and Starlight trots in place for a bit.
“Sorry, Noah, I have ants in my hooves. I need a running start to take off. Can you stay put for a bit on Air Starlight?” She asks me, speech a bit slurred from the bridle. I might have rushed.
“Oh, sorry Starlight. Do you need me to fix the bridle? Your speech is slurring a bit.” I say, reaching over and awkwardly lying on Starlight’s back belly-down, adjusting the straps so she can speak freely and eloquently. I am a bit unsteady, and I-.
I fell off of Starlight’s back! I would have crashed right through the cloud, had she not quickly activated her magic, grabbing me in a warm, lilac-colored aura, putting me right back onto my lovely steed.
“Try to suck in your core, Noah dear! Now, you know the drill. I can talk, my bridle is steady, and my lovely human paramour will ride his steed to Canterlot with grace, befitting his Princess’ wishes! Now, you had a slight misstep!”
Oh, right.
“My lovely Princess of Justice. I acted hastily in climbing atop Her Grace, and forgot to-.”
“Oh cut the crap, Noah! I was joking that one time. You forgot to tie your shoes!” Starlight quickly amends this situation by tying my shoes with her magic, making them rest against her barrel, now with a lovely double loop!
“Oops. I guess I got a bit carried away there. Now, protocol is protocol. As the future Rider of Justice, I humbly ask my liege to…”
Starlight smiles, knowing full well what I am going to say.
“Giddy up!”
Starlight likes this steed role a bit too much, in my opinion. Regardless, it’s cute. I press my heels into her sides firmly but gently, and she raises her front hooves in the air, building up potential energy.
“Casting the speedometer spell now, Noah!” Starlight says, flashing her horn and projecting all of her stats in front of my eye line.
“Hold on, kid, we’re going airborne!” She exclaims, lowering her front hooves and beginning a prompt gallop across the cloud, building up speed much faster than before. I take it that her alicorn promotion really improved her abilities. I feel my mare’s muscles contract as her wings spread out in preparation, and I flick the bridle.
With that, she leaps into the air, and begins to fly! I know it’s only been a day or two since my teacher earned her wings, but I am becoming quite used to riding on her back! I could see myself taking this beautiful gift for granted! The sun is beginning to set as we fly westward, and the view is really pretty. I think we spent a bit too much personal time up on that cloud. All I know for sure is that at a certain point, the sun will magically vanish, and the moon will begin to rise. Starlight told me that the two alicorn princesses are in charge of the celestial bodies; which could explain why they have their roles as diarchs.
“I think you got it, Noah. That’s exactly why they are princesses because they can control the sun and moon. I’d say that’s a big deal!” Starlight says, wings flapping at a steady pace. I think my lovely steed is flying well past the speed limit of a car, at 160 miles an hour?! That’s nuts. I don’t know why I am not dizzy or having my eyes fall out of my sockets?
“Starlight? Any idea why I am not dizzy or anything?” I ask her as we continue to fly incredibly fast across Equestria. I could have sworn that I see a mountain up ahead with a castle carved into its side, but it’s still too far out past the horizon to be discerned properly.
“Magic, dingus! You are my coltfriend, my student, and my rider. I am giving you magic to protect you from the elements. You are one lucky human, in my humble alicorn opinion.” She chuckles, giving me a splendid view of the realm beneath us. We are getting closer, and I do see the castle carved into the rock. Tapping my mount’s neck, I point to the castle in front of us.
“Is that where we’re heading, Glimmy?” I ask her, as she nods her head.
“Yup! Celestia’s castle, where all imperialist ambitions are born and die!” She says cynically as I see Starlight’s wings point downward, meaning we are beginning our descent. The magical altimeter is going down as I suspected, and we are slowing down, too! I take it that flying at three times the speed limit on the highway makes traveling much easier! I am a bit startled by the taste of water as we break through some clouds, temporarily blinding both of us, but it was only for a minute. Once we came underneath the clouds, I saw a vast city sprawling across the landscape. Buildings as tall as skyscrapers, and ponies of all three races interacting with each other in Harmony. I see a pizza shop, a theater, a school, everything you could want and more! I take it that’s Canterlot?
“Bingo, Noah. Canterlot, the capital of Equestria. Enjoy the descent, and don’t move until your mare has come to a complete stop!” She says in a playful manner. We continue to slow down, and I can now see Starlight’s shadow on the ground since we’re only a few hundred feet up.
I spot a few ponies pointing their hooves at us. I guess there are two reasons for this. A new alicorn, and said alicorn carrying a human, which most (if not all) of these ponies have never seen before!
“One hundred feet till hooves down. Suck in your gut. Landing isn’t cupcakes and rainbows, you know!” Starlight says, flattening out her wings as we are almost at ground level. I grip the reins a bit tightly, bracing myself for landing, and Starlight turns her head around and winks.
“You got this, Noah. You're riding me, not Rainbow Dash or some other crazy pegasus pony.” She says mockingly as we slow down even more. Gently pulling the reins up to absorb the impact, I feel the clip-clop of Starlight’s hooves as they touch the ground. I have to admit, the landing was softer than I anticipated, and Starlight went from a brisk canter to a mere trot in about fifteen seconds. Not bad! Starlight retracts her wings, and now she is trotting like any other pony here!
“Don’t get off just yet. We need to get clearance at Celestia’s castle.” Starlight tells me, as we make a right turn from the town square. Once the turn is cleared, I see the castle that I spotted from the heavens. It’s much bigger at ground level, and the front gate is flanked by around a dozen guards, fully decked in armor and some even with weapons! I noticed a few longswords, a bow and arrow, and even a bayonet! Friendship is Magic, but so are weapons!
“Keep your mouth shut, Noah. Let me do the talking.” Starlight says, trotting up to the guards, who are trying their best not to laugh at my lovely teacher.
One of them clears her throat and begins to speak.
“Another alicorn, huh? What’s that parasite you have there? Where’d you come from?” The snow-white Earth Pony mare asks Starlight, her bronze armor reflecting off the setting sun’s radiance.
“Oh, you know me, Snow Piercer, I’m Starlight Glimmer!”
The mare, who I now know to be named “Snow Piercer”, examines my steed carefully, before her comically large eyes almost bulge out of their sockets.
“Holy Celestia! Starlight, you ascended! Are you a princess? Aren’t you a bit too communist for royalty?”
My mount gives Snow Piercer a stink eye, and she refocuses her attention to me.
“What the hay is that thing? Is he hurting you?” Snow Piercer asks Starlight, whose horn lights up, opening the gates behind the mare and her troop.
“This is my student. He is a welcome guest in Equestria, under Friendship Statue #2003, and the Equestrian Exchange Program. He is a fun human, and he is to be given the utmost respect, to the point that Rarity seems like a hoodlum in comparison!” Starlight says quite defiantly. Snow Piercer looks at her guards and sighs.
“Give Princess Starlight Glimmer and her pet full clearance, and allow them access to the castle. Cloud Jumper, find Celestia and alert her of the new princess’s arrival.
A yellow pegasus stallion salutes Snow Piercer and takes off to presumably find Princess Celestia. The other guards in Snow Piercer’s troop move out of the way, and Starlight smugly trots through the gate. The front walkway is quite grand, being flanked by a statue garden and many different floral arrangements. I take it that the princess likes her flowers?
“You’d be correct, my faithful student. Now. Once we make it inside the castle, I think you can get off me. Until then, stay put.” Starlight says, as I take a deep breath and flick the bridle playfully, making Starlight trot a wee bit faster.
“Noah, behave yourself or I am bucking you off. I like you, but this is my home turf, not yours. You are atop the Princess of Justice but can just as easily be underneath her iron hoof. Do you understand?”
I know she’s joking, at least I think she is, but I am not in the mood to aggravate her further.
“Sure thing, Glimmy.” I reply quietly, as my steed playfully raises her flank up in the air, knocking me a few inches backward atop her. She giggles, knowing I am fully at Her Majesty’s mercy. After another few moments of riding towards the gate, two giant golden doors begin to open. Starlight stands still for a moment, letting the doors open in front of us. Once the doors are finally open, Starlight slowly trots forward, entering the large citadel. The crimson carpet is laced with gold ribbon and has many different patterns embroidered onto it.
“Noah, my dear. Why are you looking at the carpets? Look at the stained glass windows!” She says, pointing a hoof towards them. I change my focus, and I notice a rather beautiful mosaic of who I assume to be Princess Celestia raising the sun. It’s a pretty window, I’ll give the pony that!
I heard the flapping of wings, and I could have sworn for a moment that we might have taken off again. I almost pulled Starlight’s reins back instinctively, but Starlight’s horn flashed again, redirecting my head to the mare who is descending from the podium above us. The mare is also pure white, like Snow Piercer from a few minutes ago, but she is an alicorn as well, and I see a sun Cutie Mark on her flank. Gracefully landing on the carpet, she unfurls her wings and reflects the very sun off her body! It’s pretty cool, to be honest.
Celestia is one tall horse. If my lovely steed is a bit more than six feet at the withers, then Celestia is a shire horse! She is a head and a half taller than Starlight, and I don’t even think I could lift my head up to look at her comfortably!
“Hello, Starlight. Glad to see you made it here in one piece. You don’t have to bow anymore, you’re an alicorn!” Celestia says, before noticing me. I am a bit tempted to panic, but Starlight tilts her head back at me and smiles.
“Just be yourself, Noah. Celestia is a nice pony. Heck, even I like her sometimes!” She says.
“You must be the human Twilight won’t shut up about. It’s a pleasure to meet you. You can climb down now, I won't bite!” Celestia says, chuckling. I take it this is yet another prankster pony? How fun!
“Noah, climb down. I am with you, sweetie.” Starlight says. I take a deep breath and slowly dismount her, lifting my leg over her barrel and climbing down from her left side. I take an extra minute to remove my teacher’s bridle, and I fold it up and place it in Starlight’s saddlebag.
“Your name is Noah, correct. I am Princess Celestia. Goddess-Diarch of the sun and overall fun pony to be around, the honor is mine!” The alicorn reaches out her golden-white hoof, and I shake it.
“One quick question before we get into coronation specifics, Starlight, but is your human friend adjusting well to Equestrian life? He’s only been here for three days, and he’s stuck here now!” Celestia notes, sitting down on her haunches, which gives Starlight the idea to do the same.
I decide I can answer on my own behalf!
“Actually, your realm is lovely, and these three days have been splendid on all accounts! Not to mention that Starlight is a very good friend, and having a pair of wings to carry you around is an added plus!” I chuckle, as Starlight gives me a “hoof five”.
Celestia smiles at both of us, clearly proud of something.
“I take it you two are getting along swimmingly. I actually lied, I have one more question. What is this unorthodox activity you are doing with Noah involving a bridle?! Lieutenant Cloud Jumper told me you are a deviant now, Starlight. Is that true?’
Starlight blushes. I guess she doesn’t want to say that I ride Starlight in two ways?
“Well, even when I was a unicorn, I wanted to help Noah get around Equestria faster. Ponies are taller, stronger, and more durable than humans, so I offered to be a “steed” for him.” Starlight explains, to which Celestia spawns a notebook and begins writing everything down.
“Go on, Glimmer. Your Princess is listening.” She coos, eager to learn more.
“Well, a “steed” in Noah’s world is an equine creature similar to Ponies who carry humans around on their backs to assist them in their travels, in exchange for the humans giving them adequate food, water, and shelter. The only difference is that us ponies are sapient, and the other equines aren’t. So, Noah had to ask nicely if he could use me as a steed, and I was more than happy to accept. He’s a comfy one, at that!” Starlight says, putting a hoof on my head, roughing up my hair!
Celestia smiles: “Ah, so you need a bridle for balance, lest poor Noah falls off you!” She correctly deduces, finishing writing down her findings, before teleporting the journal away.
“You are to reenact this ritual with me one day, Noah. I find it fascinating. However, given that it seems a steed has an intimate bond with her…uh, what’s the term, Starlight?”
“Rider, Ma’am.”
“Ah, yes! With her rider, I best leave this activity to you two creatures.”
Celestia quickly changes tune, presumably to talk business.
“In other news, everypony in town is fawning over the news that Twilight’s student became an alicorn, and your coronation tomorrow will have over one hundred thousand ponies in attendance! My staff will deal with everything.”
With that, a unicorn mare with a broom cutie mark and brown fur trots by, and teleports my marefriend’s saddlebag and saddle away.
“Squeaky Clean will take your wares, and you can sleep in the guest suite with your human student. I trust you know the way, Starlight?” Celestia asks, to which my friend nods.
“Perfect. We will reconvene in forty-five minutes for dinner. Princess Luna and Twilight will be in attendance, and I have a hunch my sister will love your student, Starlight Glimmer!” Celestia says, quickly embracing my friend, before promptly teleporting away.
“Well, the castle is quite big, Noah, and Squeaky Clean took my saddle. A little walk is good for you, Noah!” Starlight chuckles, before she leads the way to the guest suite. I promptly followed her, making our way up the four large flights of stairs. I am surprised that Starlight Glimmer isn’t really winded, given that she was fatigued after we left Twilight's castle a few days ago. Maybe her new wings gave her a “super-bod”?
Finally making our way up the final flight of stairs, I see a wooden sign that reads “Guest Room” hanging on the pink door of the suite. Starlight’s horn lights up, opening the door, revealing a stunning room!
This suite is bigger than anything I have ever seen in my entire life! The bed is huge, there is a giant grand piano, a liquor cabinet, and a massive box of chocolates! Honestly, I could easily get lost in this room. It’s almost as big as a warehouse! Maybe it’s over 5,000 square feet?
“Sounds about right, Noah. Now, it seems that Squeaky Clean already brought our stuff up here, and there is a magical notebook on the bed. Take a peek at it!”
Using my new magical abilities, I carefully drag the notebook to me, and I hold it in my quivering hands. It has a unicorn head on the cover, which looks a bit cartoonish, in my opinion. It’s a spiral notebook, too, which is an added bonus. Spiral spines feel awesome!
“This notebook has magical properties, my little rider. If you write down something in it, in any language, the kitchen will prepare the meal for you! I ordered plenty of extravagant meals with this nifty tool. It also has settings for clothing, optimal bath and shower conditions, and even climate control! Imagine making the room hot or cold at a whim!”
Do I tell my lovely steed that we have this on Earth? Nah, that would spoil the fun.
“You're saying I can write something in English, and the kitchen will make anything I want to eat for dinner?” I inquire further, to which Starlight remembers something.
“Not anything, Noah. Ponies are herbivores. We don’t eat meat, but we do eat dairy products. No meat, sorry buddy. I have a feeling your race is omnivorous, is that right?”
I nod. “Yeah, but meat is expensive where I grew up, so I only had it on special occasions,” I replied rather quickly. I am impressed that I came up with a reply that easily! The real question is: what do I want to have for supper in a magical pony castle?
“What does Princess Celestia usually eat? I don’t want to seem like a pariah, although being a human in a pony world is being a pariah, anyways.”
“Cake.” Starlight replies, trying not to laugh.
“Cake. Just Cake, that doesn’t seem-.”
“It’s her biggest delicacy. Of course, she eats other foods, but there is always cake at Celestia’s table. If I was you, I’d ask the kitchen to make a pasta salad! It’s what I am going to be having. As for beverages, we’re not in Ponyville anymore, so cider is hard to come by. Celestia does like tea, though.” Starlight says, prying the magical journal from my hands. Spawning a pen, Starlight writes down her order:
PASTA SALAD WITH EXTRA CUCUMBERS.
1 POT OF EARL GRAY TEA.
She then hands me the notebook and I take a minute to think about what I might want. I get a bit creative. Taking the magical pen, I write down something that I would be quite surprised for Equestria to have:
FALAFEL SANDWICH, WITH HUMMUS, TAHINI, AND ISRAELI SALAD.
1 POT OF JASMINE TEA
1 OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIE
It took no more than one second after my order to be written down for the page to magically glow.
“This is the fun part! Watch!” Starlight exclaims as the words begin to float off the page. I see both food orders float in front of our eyes, before vanishing, presumably to the kitchen. This is a really cool magical item. I wonder what else it could do.
I get a mischievous grin, and I reopen the notebook and write down something else:
1 LILAC ROSE
I don’t show my friend what I wrote down, and as the page glows, I pull the notebook towards my chest. I felt something leave the page, and I almost crushed it with my chest! Quickly putting the book down, I grab the mystery object and hid it in my shirt, before Starlight wonders what mischief I pulled.
“What the hay did you write? You better not have ordered ten dozen pizzas or something! Those poor ponies in the kitchen have to make everything you write down!” Starlight scolds me before I reveal the secret item I conjured.
Her maw drops, and she tries not to cry. A perfectly formed lilac rose is being held in my hand, and I gently place it in Starlight’s mane.
“W…why? Why are you being so…nice to me!” Starlight says, almost crying on the spot.
“Well, what can I do? You are my marefriend , my steed, my teacher, and my friend. I need to do something to say thank you. Friendship Lesson #101: Always show your gratitude towards a good friend, especially when they least expect it.” I recite, remembering the textbook Starlight gave me that first day of Friendship School.
Starlight uses magic to tackle me to the massive California King-sized bed, and pins me down with her hooves.
“Hop on, stud. I’m taking you for a joyride.”
Oh boy, I activated the love juices with that one! Wish me luck! Wonder how dinner’s going to go?
Author's Note
Yes, the chapter title is a JoJo reference.
Let the voice of love take you higher!
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 11: Justice is Served
“Hop on, stud. I’m taking you for a joyride.”
And I meant it, I took the stud for a joyride. He took me for a joyride, as well! We made sure to keep it short and sweet because Celestia wanted us for dinner in forty-five minutes. It certainly helps that Noah doesn’t last very long! It’s cute!
“Noah, let’s go get ready for dinner. I want to see what a falafel is!” I ask him, shimmying out of bed to go take a quick shower. I want to look proper for supper! I don’t take too long in the shower, and it helps that the water in Canterlot is nice and warm. My only problem is that I have two rather annoying wings that I need to clean! They are a bit difficult to wash, but I get it done.
I am also a bit tempted to drag my human lover in here and have a second round of “riding”, but I think he’s had enough! Anyways, by the time I’m out of the shower, Noah has changed into more suitable attire for supper. He’s wearing a navy polo shirt and semi-casual dress pants! The outfit looks like something Rarity could have commissioned!
“Don’t peek, Noah. I am getting changed into more suitable attire!” I jest, as Noah behaves and waits for me patiently. I put on a lavender dress, and I sit down on the mattress.
“I need help with my horseshoes, Noah! They’re not very easy to put on, and I don’t think they react well with my magic. Do you mind helping me?” I ask him, as Noah puts down the magic book that he packed with him and goes to find my silver horseshoes at the front of the room. He bends down and takes two shoes per hand, and moseys his way back to me.
“How do you put these on?” Noah asks me, fumbling with the shoes as he squeamishly maneuvers my front right hoof inside the shoe.
“It’s like a slipper. You need to fit the hoof in properly, and don’t mash it in! They’re very delicate.” I kindly remind him, as I help him maneuver my hoof inside the silver shoe. I honestly didn’t expect to get free hoof wear when I became an alicorn! It’s a pleasant bonus, but I try not to consume conspicuously.
“I think I got it for the other three, Glimmy. Do you still want my help?” He asks me, to which I reply with a prompt nod of my head. After a few more minutes of my student helping me with my horseshoes, I get up from the mattress and turn around a few times, making sure that my human companion doesn’t see anything wrong with my outfit. It’s a bit weird having to put wings inside a dress, but I think it will do for today!
I honestly wonder if I should have Noah ride me down the stairs to show Princess Luna and Princess Celestia how my bond of Friendship has worked with Noah these past few days! I turn around one more time to look at my friend, and I see that he is a bit upset about something.
“Noah, sweetie? What’s wrong?” I ask him, as he twiddles his fingers, clearly distraught about something.
He looks me directly in the eyes and is trying to hold back tears. “I have a sister.” He says. I remember that when I was upset, Noah stroked my mane, so I do the same. I trot over to him and gently pat him on the head with my front hoof, stroking his hair in a soothing manner.
“Her name is Rebecca. She’s my baby sister, and I love her to bits. I miss her so much! Is the portal to Earth really closed forever?” He asks me, as I plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. I really feel for the youngster.
“I honestly don’t know. I am a smart mare, and you are a smart human. I think once I get crowned, we can work on fixing the portal, so we can find your sister. I am sure she’d love to meet ponies!”
Noah cracks a smile before I make a rather abrupt decision. I quickly put him under my magic’s influence, and I plop him in between my wings.
“No flying, Noah, but we will ride down to supper together. I want to show the Princesses the bond between pony and human! If I can successfully get the portal back open, soon everypony will have a human passenger, and humans will make more friends!”
I grin, thinking about how much justice and Friendship I can bring everypony. It’s a good thing I put my saddle on top of the dress as an ornament! I usually wear these for parties, anyway. I am not going to bring the bridle to dinner, lest everypony thinks Noah is riding me in a different way (even though he is!). Noah carefully holds onto a small part of my mane as I slowly trot out of the guest bedroom, using magic to telekinetically open the door.
Every time I am inside Celestia’s castle, I am continuously amazed by the architecture, design, and structure of the citadel! I think I am still on time for dinner, so I walk rather slowly down the stairs with Noah. I am looking at the many different paintings on the wall, and I see a family portrait. The family portrait is really cute! Princess Celestia is in the front, with her younger sister Luna flanking her left. Princess Cadence is on her other side, with her foal Flurry Heart and son-in-law Shining Armor next to the love pony. To top it all off, Princess Twilight is in front of Luna, smiling in front of the camera, putting “bunny ears” over the lunar alicorn using magic. How childish! I can’t wait to have a family of my own! Maybe Twilight can find a way to make it possible for me to bear Noah’s foal?
“That’s a really cute family portrait, Noah.” I point out to him, as he cocks his head to his right, seeing the massive painting on the wall.
“That’s a lot of ponies. I didn’t know Twilight was related to Princess Celestia!” He exclaims, a bit shocked as we make our way down the second flight of stairs.
“Only through marriage, Noah! Her brother, Shining Armor, is married to Princess Cadence, who is Celestia’s niece.” I chuckle with glee. I can sense my rider is a bit stressed about this dinner, because I can feel his heartbeat is faster, and he is breathing a bit more quickly. Quickly remembering my Empathy Training from Fluttershy, I spread out my right wing, and nudged my rider.
“You can hold my wing, cute stuff. The feathers seem to calm you down. I am happy when you are happy.” I said in a sing-song voice. Noah puts his right hand on my wing, and carefully strokes it, enjoying the softness of my down. I feel his breathing slow down a bit, and his heart rate goes back to normal.
“It’s actually funny, Starlight. Back home, there was something called “Equine therapy” for people like me who are a bit lower functioning. Remember those horses I told you about? They are like ponies, but not sentient and they don’t smell good?”
I nodded, vaguely remembering these creatures. I understand the “steed” concept, though, and I enjoy it!
“Well, the one thing that ponies and horses have in common is that they are both kind. I’ve seen video footage of lower functioning people actually improving their cognition, empathy, and kindness thanks to horseback riding, although the horse didn’t talk back to you, or give you cuddles!” He chuckles at the thought, savoring the feeling of my wing’s softness. I think my rider is feeling calmer, so I put my wing back underneath my dress, to which Noah sighs.
“Thank you, Glimmy. I really appreciated that. Did I tell you how cute you are?” He says affectionately, as we finally make it down the last flight of stairs. I turn my head back at him and smile, before speeding up into a light canter. We turned a few corners and passed some of the service ponies, who were pushing carts of food around. After a good minute or so, we finally make our way to a massive room, labeled “dining hall”.
Noah carefully dismounts me, and the two of us slowly enter the room, and my student’s jaw drops.
“How, how big is this table? I don’t see the end of it!” He gasps, as he uses magic to pull me out a chair. My word, the human learns quickly!
“Thank you, sweet pea.” I blushed, sitting down. As soon as my rump touches the chair, my plate is immediately filled with the pasta salad that I ordered, and my cup is filled with Earl Gray tea! It’s been a while since I’ve used the magic ordering notebook, so I am just as stunned as my rider is.
Knowing full well that it is improper to eat before everypony arrives, I turned around to see if anypony else in the royal family made their way to the dining hall. I hear the gentle pattering of hooves, so I know for a fact that it’s not Celestia, who doesn’t walk with grace at all!
“Who do you think that is, Starlight?” Noah asks, trying to peek and see who the next pony to arrive will be. After another few awkward moments, he sees who this new pony is.
“Hm, Starlight. Pray, tell what this alien resident of Equestria is called? We don’t want to offend it.” Well, I know that only one pony speaks in such an antiquated manner. It’s Princess Luna. After another moment of not seeing the princess, she enters the dining hall, and Noah is stunned.
“She really does look like a princess. Dare I say, she looks better than Celestia.” Noah says, not realizing what kind of argument he might have unleashed! The “Best Princess” feud has been ongoing in Equestria since time immemorial, and even with Luna’s millennium-long exile, there hasn’t been a clear consensus on which diarch is the preferred deity. Luna immediately bursts into a smile, and teleports in front of my boyfriend!
She looks at him very carefully, before beginning to speak.
“Creature. What is the proper name for thee? For thy race? Art thou enjoying Equestria, or the tutelage Starlight hath provideth for thee?” Luna asks, rather bluntly. Noah was taken aback by the alicorn’s directness, and I honestly wasn’t sure how he’d react.
“We go by many names, O regal one. Our race is known as “homo sapiens”, the Latin for “wise man.” As for ourself, our surname is Noah. ‘Tis a pleasure to make thy acquaintance.”
What? I didn’t see that one coming from a mile away! Luna lets out a hoof, and Noah respectfully kisses it, befitting an interaction with a noblepony. I want to both laugh and cry. I don’t get it!
“Noah, what in the name of Celestia are you-.”
“Very simple. I speak multiple languages. She speaks an older form of Ponish. I don’t know why, but you taught me during “Listening” that I need to pay attention to what somepony else is saying. I responded in kind.” He says.
I want to kiss him right here and now! He’s so charming and cute and-.
Yet another pony makes her way into the dining hall, one we saw already.
“Aww, Noah the human is getting along swimmingly with Luna! I am surprised you like this one, dear sister. He’s quite peculiar if you read his file!” Celestia chuckles, as Twilight, in her typical fashion, flies into the dining room like her tail was on fire!
“Sorry, Celestia, I was writing a dissertation on YakYakistani trade routes, and I was almost late for dinner!” Twilight exclaims as all three alicorn Princesses sit at the table. As I predicted, Celestia’s plate immediately has a large morsel of chocolate cake on it. She sets it aside for dessert, and the plate then spawns a grilled daisy sandwich with cheese!
“What about you, Luna, what did you order for tonight?” Celestia asks her younger sister, as the moon alicorn’s plate spawns moon-shaped noodles with marinara sauce and cheese. A small moon pie spawns as well, presumably for her desert.
“We love this dish! It’s delectable!” Luna exclaims as Twilight’s plate spawns a slice of Celestial Pizza, with green olives and mushrooms! No dessert for the book pony!
Noah guesses that this is his chance to sit down and see how the magical food spawns on his seat. Sitting down, his plate now has a rather peculiar sandwich. It’s in a pocket bread, with these balls of, I don’t know what, mixed with some sauces and greens. His cup fills with jasmine tea, and an oatmeal raisin cookie spawns as well, for his desert. Noah puts it on his napkin for later.
Luna looks at the odd sandwich and levitates it in the air with her magic, examining it carefully, before putting it back on Noah’s plate.
“Pray tell, human, what is this dish called? It looks bizarre, yet edible!” The moon alicorn asks. Noah would have answered, had he not already taken a bite from this sandwich. He looks very happy as if this is a comfort food dish for him. I take it he hasn’t had this dish in ages! Finally swallowing his food, he explains what it is.
“It’s called ‘falafel’ everypony. It’s fried chickpeas inside a loaf of pita bread, and you can put all sorts of stuff inside, from salads, to hummus, to spices. You want it, you get it!” He says, taking another bite.
I am a bit tempted to try his dish, but I am a proper pony. I begin to eat my pasta salad, using my magic to take reasonable portion sizes, and eating properly. Noah was quite surprised to see that Celestia doesn’t eat like a princess! She shoves the entire daisy sandwich in her muzzle, chomping it down like a wild animal. Twilight and Luna are unfazed by this, but Noah looks at Celestia in abject horror. He is smart enough to keep his mouth shut!
“So…about this coronation, what do I need to prepare?” I ask, quickly changing the subject. Noah nods while he’s chewing, wondering what he has to do, as well.
Once Celestia finishes devouring her sandwich, she clears her muzzle and begins to explain.
“Well, you are going to be the Princess of Justice, Starlight. This means that your mandate is to maintain a state of equality amongst ponykind within the confines of the law! For example, make sure nopony cheats on their taxes, ensure that nopony thinks that they are above the law, and maintain transparency at all levels of government! Seems easy enough. Also, you and your former teacher will work on fixing the Mirror Portal. Noah has a right to visit his homeland, and I am quite eager to have more humans in the Friendship Exchange Program! Speaking of humans, “Rider of Justice.” Do you have anything to ask us?” Celestia inquires, looking directly at my rider.
He thinks about what he’s going to say for a moment, before coming up with a reasonable question.
“I do have a few questions, but let’s start with the topic at hand, or in this case, at hoof. Can the first human we bring here be my sister? I miss her tremendously, and I think I know a pony who could be a friend for her!” Noah asks, pleading with the Sun Princess.
“Hm, I don’t see why not. Family is very important to me, and bringing your sister would ensure your wellbeing! What is her name, and who do you think would be the pony for her to befriend?” Celestia asks a follow-up question.
“Her name is Rebecca, and I think that Trixie would like her. My sister is quite the extrovert!” Noah explains, to which Twilight sighs and facehoofs herself, clearly annoyed.
“Why Trixie? What about Rarity? Or Applejack, or Fluttershy, or anypony else?! A little girl would love a talking pony who cares about fashion, or animals, or taking care of a plot of land, or-.”
Noah laughs. “She’s 16, Princess. Not a little girl, she’s just younger than me.” Huh, even I didn’t know that about her. Time goes by, and we all ultimately finish our meals. Luna has taken a liking to my coltfriend, probably because she’s also somewhere on the Spectrum if I was to guess. I know Twilight, I know Maud Pie, I know my coltfriend, and I know Luna. I think I can see an autistic creature and spot one out!
“Now, I have an amendment suggestion for the Friendship Exchange Program, everypony”. I say, quickly casting a spell to bring my journal to the table. The journal has some notes about my riding adventures with Noah!
Luna is quite amused by this concept and lets out a hearty chuckle.
“Thou art saying that humans sit atop a pony, and they bond and develop trust?” She asks, to which I nod with encouragement.
“Yeah, Princess Luna! We actually discovered this riding exercise by accident, because there was no other way for him to cross the portal! I actually developed a liking for it, and it was a way for the two of us to get to know each other. Not to mention trust-building. Noah needed to trust me for transportation, and I needed to trust him for leadership and encouragement! Here, let me show you!”
Noah and I both smile, and the two of us stand up. It’s a good thing I was smart enough to bring the saddle today! He climbs up, more confident than before, and we just trot around the room to demonstrate the bond we’ve built over the past few days. He’s not steering me or anything, and I am not wearing my bridle, but I think my point was made. Luna, Celestia, and Twilight are all in awe at my novel discovery of “ponyback riding”.
“This, this could save lives!” Twilight exclaims, seeing the full effect of the magic of riding.
“Friendship needs trust, and trusting a pony to take you places, and that pony trusting a human for encouragement and guidance is a mutual benefit! Starlight, you’re a genius!” Celestia exclaims. I feel a bit cocky, so I raise my front hooves in the air playfully, wings spread, while Noah is grabbing my purple and teal mane for dear life.
“What a show, what a show!” Luna says, clapping her hooves, while I go back on all fours, Noah a bit dizzy. I gently lift him off my back and plop him back into his chair.
“Well, you are going to be doing Starlight’s job too, Noah. Now, dinner was fun and all, but I am very tired. Luna, go raise the moon, I am going to sleep!” Celestia says, teleporting the chocolate cake into her mouth, before leaving. Luna and Twilight both sigh.
“Well, I am going to bed, too! It’s late. Luna, good luck with the moon, Starlight. We meet at Canterlot Square, noon sharp, for your coronation!” Twilight says, taking a piece of Luna’s moon pie before teleporting away.
Luna doesn’t seem to care, and she finishes her desert in silence, before using magic to draw the drapes in the dining hall.
“We take it the human that thou art teaching hasn’t seen a moonrise. Would he care to witness the might and power of his favorite princess?” Luna asks rhetorically, as Noah nods in approval.
“Sure thing, Ma’am!” He says with eagerness and a foallike sense of wonder. Luna takes a deep breath, and her horn lights up. Celestia’s sun finally leaves the horizon, and the sky turns dark. With a few moments of utter darkness having passed, Luna begins to glow pure white, as the moon begins to rise over the Equestrian horizon. I could have sworn my rider is crying tears of joy! Aw, he’s a cutie!
“This, this is beautiful!” Noah says, in praise of Luna’s handiwork. Once Luna has finished raising the moon, she reverts to her navy blue hue, and her coat isn’t reflective anymore.
“We art glad thou appreciate our work. Go get a good night’s sleep with thy mare, and we shall guard thy dreams, too!” Luna says. She approaches my coltfriend, and pecks him on the cheek.
“Not many ponies, or creatures, compliment us on our work guarding the night. We would be honored to call thee a companion, er, what is the modern Ponish word?” She asks him with sincerity.
“A friend, Princess. You’d call me a friend.” He smiles, as I use my magic to remount my lovely coltfriend. He’s a bit startled because he’s riding me backward!
“I am taking this stud to his room, so have a good night!” I say, gluing Noah to my body with magic, and taking off with my new wings. We climb up four flights of stairs in a matter of seconds, before finally making our way to the guest suite. My spell deactivates, and the two of us plunge into the comfort of our massive bed.
“Close your eyes, stud. I am going to get changed. We’ll cuddle after.” I playfully ordered him. He does so, and with a flash of my magic, I am back in my natural pony coat! He opens his eyes and smiles.
“Your wings are up. Does that mean something?” He asks me. Oh, dear! I think Twilight had this once when she saw Flash Sentry? Isn’t this called a winged “manifestation”?
“No idea, don’t bother asking for me, but you are gonna be the little spoon tonight, Rider of Justice. Your Princess likes her snuggles!” I say, as Noah quickly takes off his dress clothes, and leaves on his undershirt and boxers. He climbs back into the bed, and I embrace him with my wings, before noticing something charming . He has a "manifestation" too, but of a more obvious sort!
“You popped a tent there, cute stuff. I can handle that for you if you want?”
He nods, as I use my magic to close the blinds and the lights. Oh, cute stallions and their animal-like urges. I take it Noah found me to be quite cute tonight!
“This is how an alicorn shows her affection towards her rider. Saddle up, stud!”
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 12: Make Way...For Princess Starlight!
Today, I was quite intimate with Starlight Glimmer. The first time, we just kissed. The second time, we were on a cloud and she made me massage her wings, before giving me cloud cuddles and a back massage. The third time, we kissed, but with tongues , and she told me to touch her horn. Apparently, it’s a sensitive spot! Now I just lost my virginity… to a horse.
In all of the timelines, all of the parallel universes I would have imagined, losing my virginity to a sapient alicorn goddess was not on the list. I am actually surprised that I was even able to interact with a pony who is significantly taller than me, but we made it work. Regardless, I am a bit horrified at how much I enjoyed that interspecies lovemaking session. Humans don’t mate with other animals, but Starlight seems totally fine with the concept, in spite of what she said to Lyra and Bon Bon at lunch two days ago.
Regardless, Starlight was incredibly gentle with me, and we didn’t do anything that either of us felt was too uncomfortable. I respect that. I am trying to fall asleep, but Starlight keeps nuzzling my chest with affection. It’s great to have someone or somepony who cares about you, but it’s a bit annoying sometimes.
“You did well tonight, Noah. I am proud of you for how you handled dinner, and how you handled me . Alright, alright, no more sexy talk. I’ll rub your back so you can fall asleep.” She coos. I hear the sound of her horn lighting up, and I feel something giving me a deep tissue massage. I squirm around in our bed for a bit, but I realize it’s just massive magical pulses relaxing my tense muscles. I feel really relaxed, and I hear my marefriend giggle.
“If you squirm too much, you’ll sit on my wings by accident. I need those for our riding, silly!” Starlight jests, as I scoot back an inch further into my mare’s warm embrace. After another few minutes of that deep tissue massage, Starlight’s magic deactivates, and she puts her hooves around my shoulders and back.
“Nighty night, my lovely Noah. Sleep well, because tomorrow, I will become royalty!” She chuckles. I could have sworn I heard her mumble “how ironic” afterward, but I am not going to be one to judge that. This bed is heavenly, and having a cuddle buddy is a huge bonus! I need warmth and comfort! I just hope that tomorrow morning’s coronation will go swimmingly. I am happy when Starlight is happy, and she is happy being with me. Hey! Is she nibbling my ear! Not cool! I’ll let it slide. She could be doing it in her sleep. If something weird happens tomorrow, I pray for the both of us that we’ll be okay.
THE NEXT MORNING
I am woken up with a pillow thrown at my face point-blank. I think my magic could have at least alerted me to this playful behavior, even caught it before it hit my face; but no. Once the mulberry-colored pillow falls off my face, I see my lovely mare in a frenzy, trying to do two-hundred things at once, magic flowing all over the guest bedroom!
She’s writing a list with one hoof, putting on a fancy outfit with her magic, brushing her beautiful mane with another hoof, and eating a granola bar with her magic. She’s doing this all at once! Ponies are crazy!
“Get up, Noah! It’s coronation day! Even if I don’t want to be royalty, I have a rider who I need to take care of, and teach Friendship Lessons to! Get up, get dressed, and put on something fancy! I think Rarity might even be coming over to make you a fancy suit! If you’re late, I won’t be able to give you a lift! You also need to come up with something cool to say! I have a speech all ready, but you need one, too!” Starlight says with a hint of urgency.
I needed to write something! Oh no! Why didn’t anypony tell me that before! I’ll deal with it later. I quickly get out of bed and rummage through my backpack, trying to find the somewhat formal outfit that I packed. Finally pulling it out, I lay it on my bed and rush to put it on.
“Starlight, what time is it?” I ask my marefriend, whose horn lights up, projecting the time onto the wall:
10:30 AM, CANTERLOT STANDARD TIME
Huh, Equestria has time zones? Is Ponyville a different time zone than Canterlot?
“Is Canterlot in a different time zone?” I ask Starlight, who quickly nods her head.
“One hour behind Ponyville. We flew west, didn’t we?” Starlight says rhetorically. I sigh and continue getting dressed. Once I am all set up in my relatively nice clothes that I would wear to a wedding or a fancy birthday party, I turn around to see what my marefriend looks like. She’s stunning! Starlight is wearing a light blue dress with lilac trimmings, and she even managed to put on her fancy horseshoes from last night, all by herself! I am glad she was able to do that.
“Where’s the crown?” I ask Starlight, who cracks a silly smile.
“I didn’t get crowned yet, silly! When I am declared the Princess of Justice, I will get my tiara. Until then, I just have my fancy outfit. Now, go write down something for breakfast in the journal before you saddle me up. We’re getting a royal pony-cade from the Wonderbolts!” Starlight says excitedly.
I take a minute to remember where I could have placed the magical ordering notebook. We must have made a huge mess during our “extra credit Friendship Lesson” because I only see pillows and spread sheets on the bed! Carefully pulling back the sheets on our large bed, I spot the unicorn logo on top of the notebook, with the ballpoint pen attached to it. It takes me a few tries, but I use magic to gravitate the book towards me, and I pick it up. Carefully making my way to the desk in the room, I put the notebook down. I need to think about what I’d like to eat for breakfast. Something easy and something that I can eat on the go! I finally figured it out! I write down my order quickly.
1 Oats and Honey Granola Bar
1 Banana
1 Glass of Orange Juice
As soon as I finished writing everything down, I saw something long protrude out of the notebook, and it was a banana! The granola bar is the next thing to exit the enchanted notebook, falling on the side of the pages. I am curious as to how the orange juice is going to come out? I thought it would just pour out of the notebook into a glass that appears out of nowhere, but I was mistaken. It seems that even magic has limits! A small cardboard juice box of orange juice exits the notebook, with the label “Orange Family Grove” on it.
“Eat up, Noah; and make it snappy. Please don’t have crumbs on your fingers when you put my bridle on! I need to keep it clean!” Starlight pipes in from the other side of the suite. I promptly open my medicine bag and take out my three pills, and I swallow them with a swig of orange juice. I use my magic to peel the banana telekinetically, and I try to eat it quickly. I don’t want to keep anypony waiting! I don’t think eating a banana in ninety seconds is too slow, in my humble opinion!
By the time I finished my breakfast, I was feeling a bit nauseous. I don’t know if it is because I am nervous about my marefriend’s coronation, or because I ate too quickly. It could very well be because of both! I go over to the coat rack, and I grab Starlight’s saddle and bridle.
“You know the drill, Noah. Bridle me up, and I’ll deal with the rest.” Starlight says, trotting over towards me. She promptly opens her maw, and I place the metal bit in her mouth, safely securing it on her muzzle with the corresponding straps.
“I just need to go to the bathroom, and then I am ready to ride,” I tell Starlight, who is fumbling with her saddle. She usually doesn’t take this long to equip her riding gear, but she must be stressed! I go to the bathroom quickly and by the time I get out, I see Starlight trotting in place, eager to leave.
“Alright, climb on, and let’s roll! I know how to get to Canterlot Square, and I expect the other Princesses will be meeting us there. While you were in the bathroom, I got two UniPhone calls. One was from Trixie, who said that a Royal chariot picked her up in Ponyville. She’s en route to Canterlot as we speak. The second call was from Lyra. She can’t make it, but Bon Bon is on her way! I thought you’d be happy to hear that since both ponies were rather nice to you these past few days.” Starlight smiles, clearly pleased that my Friendship Lessons are going well.
I open the door of the suite, and Starlight and I walk out, making our way to the regal podium next to the room. It’s a wide-open window, too! Starlight turns around, giving me ample space to climb aboard my mare. With one swift motion, I put my right foot into her stirrup and swoop the rest of my body atop her. Starlight casts a quick spell, placing her reins in my cold hands.
I remember that Starlight likes this faux command prompt dialogue. It is her coronation day, so I am more than happy to indulge her with this silly act. Starlight carefully trots backward a few paces, and awaits my “orders”. I know full well she can take off on her own, and she does, too! It’s really cute!
I clear my throat and gently tap Starlight’s neck with my left hand. “Princess of Justice. I am very pleased to be aboard Her Grace today for such an auspicious event. Nevertheless, we are on a tight schedule, and I beseech the regal mare to consider this.”
The two of us put on a playful grin. I try something new today. I do my usual gentle but firm stimulation of Starlight’s sides, but I also flick the bridle at the same time.
“Hyah, Starlight! Let’s show Equestria what a Princess of Justice can do with her rider. Giddy up!”
Starlight playfully raises her front hooves, like in a Western film, before galloping across the hall. She casts her “alicorn stats” spell, and her wings are anticipating the takeoff that is moments away. In these few brief moments atop my mount before takeoff, I feel excited, like a young boy riding a rollercoaster, moments before the drop.
“Noah, we’re hooves up in three…”
Starlight spreads her wings.
“Two…”
She tilts them upwards to gain lift for the takeoff. I feel my mount’s muscles contract in anticipation.
“One…”
I am feeling a bit bold, so I flick the bride one more time.
“Liftoff!”
Starlight’s supracoracoideus muscles contract and I feel the power of lift. Starlight jumps like a show horse out the window, but instead of landing, she flaps her regal wings and takes the two of us into the heavens!
“Aw yeah! This is fun!” I whoop for joy. This encourages Starlight to fly higher and higher. I could have sworn she has the biggest grin on her face. Imagine if horseback riding was this fun back on Earth! I sure hope that if we ever bring Rebecca to Equestria, she befriends a pegasus pony! She’d love this!
“Canterlot Square is a short flight, my lovely rider. Enjoy the sky while you can, because we have a boring speech to give soon!” Starlight says, leveling out at around 3,500 feet. Since this is a short flight, we don’t need to go high enough to use the jetstream. Looking around among the low-lying clouds, I try to spot any pegasi in the air. I remember Starlight saying something about an escort?
“Hey, Noah, the Wonderbolts are coming!” Starlight exclaims, pointing right below us, where four pegasi in jumpsuits are ascending to our altitude, and I could have sworn that Rainbow Dash was one of them. Two pegasi flank each of our sides, and they have a really cool entrail pattern coming out behind them!
“Hey, Glimmer, long time, no see.” Rainbow Dash says, giving my marefriend a hoof five, before going back to her escort role.
“Yeah, Dashie, long time, no see. Can’t you see I have an adorable human passenger to carry? I was going to talk to him about his speech.” Starlight says, flapping her wings just a wee bit faster, getting out of Rainbow Dash’s range to talk.
“What did you want to discuss, Starlight?” I ask Starlight, as I spot a few chariots being pulled by pegasi a few hundred feet beneath us. I take it Trixie and Bon Bon are in those? Maybe some other notable ponies? I don’t know, but I’ll find out soon enough.
“Nothing, I just wanted to do Friendship Lesson #4 with you before my coronation. Friendly Discourse and Debate. I know you are capitalist scum , so I wanted to hear what crazy ideas you have, so I can refute them!” She chuckles at the mere thought.
I have to tread carefully. 3,500 feet is a long way down towards solid ground, and if I piss off my mount, I could get into serious trouble!
“Promise me that no matter who wins, I get secure passage to Canterlot Square?” I ask, half-joking.
“Well, duh! Even if I think your opinions are stupid and wrong, I still love you, and you are still my student. Nopony worth their bits would throw a rider off mid-flight, although I don’t know for sure, since you are the first human ever to have the privilege of riding atop an alicorn.” Starlight reassures me.
It’s go time.
“Well, before I go into the nitty-gritty. You were the mayor of that equality commune, correct?” I ask Starlight, who nods.
“I was, Noah. I was elected democratically by my fellow ponies, and entrusted with the solemn task of governance.” Starlight says, clearly nostalgic about her time there.
“Okay, that’s good to know. Now, how did you live? Did everypony live in the same houses? Did everypony get the same allotment of currency? Did ponies pick their own jobs, or were they assigned by the state? Did you allow for dissent, or did everypony agree to your policy in lockstep!”
I can sense that my lovely mare is unsure of how to respond, which means I am beginning to close in on her!
“W…well, I did have a slightly nicer house, and-.”
Bingo. I got my lead.
“Uh-huh, Glimmy. Wouldn’t that be holding a blatant double standard? You had a Dacha when everypony else had a shantytown?”
My mare begins to sweat a bit. Aw, how cute!
“But I made sure nopony was mean to each other. If everypony lived in the same conditions, nopony could pick on other ponies due to socioeconomic status! I allowed for dissent, and I regularly held town halls on a weekly basis with my fellow ponies.”
Were they held at gunpoint? Nah, I am not going to ask her that. It’s food for thought, though!
“Okay, we’ll agree to disagree, Noah. Now, tell me what your brilliant plan for society would look like?!” Starlight jests, lifting her flank in the air for a moment, making my ride a bit bumpier! I know she’s being playful, but I wouldn’t threaten like that!
“Simple. Let people do what they want. Obviously, there are still laws and a government, but when it comes to economics or social policy, leave the state out of it!”
Starlight taps me on the shoulder with her wing, clearly concerned about something.
“But what about income inequality? What happens if the exchanges collapse? Does your “perfect world” have a fallout plan for an economic crisis? Is there a central bank? Is there a Securities Commission to prevent fraud and money laundering? What about-.”
“Hold your horses, my lovely mare. Income inequality has to exist because that ensures social progression. In an ideal system, the middle class would be the majority of the citizenry, and the upper and lower classes would be significant minorities. As for a central bank, currency-by-fiat is a horrible idea, because nopony can trust the government. You need something tangible to base your currency on, like gold, silver, heck, even raisins! The word of Celestia, or the word of whoever isn’t enough to ensure value in the currency. If a government can print as much money as it wants, then the money doesn’t have any intrinsic value! Of course, there would be a Securities Commission. A libertarian paradise needs some skeletal rules to adhere to! No tax fraud, no offshore accounts, no artificial inflation of stock prices. I have it all worked out!”
Starlight Glimmer doesn’t know how to respond. I bested her with simple facts!
“I…I don’t know what to say! Obviously, you are fudging your numbers to make your point seem appealing, and capitalism has never worked!”
Actually, communism and socialism have never worked, but whatever.
“There’s a disturbing correlation between those who adhere to leftist values, making everyone follow their dogma, while not doing so themselves. Back where I came from, all the people who advocated for this kind of stuff were middle-class citizens, who lived quite comfortably. When these kinds of governments were established, the leaders always lived a life of luxury, while their citizens suffered en masse! Stalin, Castro, Mao Tse-Tung, you name the dictator. They lived like kings, while their citizens were suffering. Now, obviously a lovely mare such as yourself wouldn’t be a dictator, and your society would be more harmonious, right?”
My mount’s once warm coat of fur turned ice cold. Her wings flapped much more automatically and without the vigor of previous rides. I must have really hit a nerve! I wasn’t trying to do that!
“N…Noah. You hit the nail right on the head, my lovely human. I was a dictator when I ran that village, and I didn’t tell you the whole story when we first met. I was the one who took away everypony’s cutie marks. I used a Staff of Sameness to make everypony equal, and my fellow ponies revolted once the “Mane 6” came to my village. I spent well over a year trying to get my revenge, and I even tried to rewrite time itself! I had a huge fight with Twilight in Cloudsdale, and if I hadn’t accepted her hoof in Friendship, my life would be a heck of a lot different now.”
Starlight starts to cry, and I don’t mean cry, I mean bawl . She is bawling her poor pony eyes out, and I am stunned and horrified. I was just trying to do the Friendship Lesson she recommended we do! I give my marefriend a hug, and she sighs.
“I was trying to do the right thing, Noah. I never wanted to hurt anypony, seriously. I know you weren’t trying to upset me with your rebuttal, and that’s why I am not mad at you. I just wanted to make Equestria a better place. It is a cruel taste of irony that the “Commie Pony” became an alicorn, becoming the one thing she swore to obsolesce. I hope having a rider will level me out a bit, do you think you can do that for me?” Starlight sniffles, as I warmly embrace the pony I am riding.
“Of course, Starlight. I am not a perfect specimen, either by any standards. I also did many things that I regret, and I am no less a human now because of it. Hell, I might be a better one, since I know what not to do now. I am sure you’ll be a good Princess of Justice because you’ve been a great friend to me.”
This comment seems to reassure Starlight, and our Wonderbolt “pony-cade” begins to descend, and Starlight follows suit. I see the plaza where my marefriend’s coronation will take place, and I see a sea of ponies.
“That’s a lot of ponies, Glimmy!” I point out, steering my mare towards a good landing spot beneath a tree.
“Indeed there are, Noah. Now, even though you are my Rider of Justice, I have a feeling I am going to give my speech first. Don’t dismount me until either I give you a signal or somepony else in the Royal Family. Got it?”
I nod, and the Wonderbolt “pony-cade” disbands since we are at our destination. With a few gentle flaps of her wings, Starlight lands beneath the tree and comes to a complete stop.
“Good girl, Glimmy. Your flying is really impressive, and I am honored to have the privilege of riding on your back.” I coo, patting my mare on the neck, as she takes a few deep breaths.
I see Rainbow Dash landing near us, and she takes off her getup and gallops towards the two of us.
“Woah, you really are a fast learner! Twilight took a week to learn how to fly, and she can’t even land sharp corners. You’re awesome! I think Twilight is in the chariot with Bon Bon. I am going to find my fellow Elements, but I wanted to wish you luck, GlimGlam. I think you’ll do great!”
She embraces Starlight with her wings, and Starlight reciprocates in turn.
“Thank you, Rainbow Dash. Is your friend Scootaloo here today?” Starlight asks, remembering to ask Dashie about her friends, too.
“I think so. Coronation days are national holidays, so Miss Cheerilee probably took everypony on a field trip to Canterlot. Don't stutter with your speech!” Dashie says, flying off to the massive crowd of ponies on the other side of the hill.
“Hold on to those reins, Noah. I’m going to gallop around and try to find Twilight.” Starlight says, going into a quick gallop while trying to maintain discretion. We ride around for a few minutes before I hear the whinnying of pegasi. Starlight and I turn around, and a massive golden chariot pulled by four pegasi stallions lands a few meters next to us. Quickly making our way towards it, I use my magic to open the door, and I see-.
“THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE SEES HER FRIEND!”
Well, not just Trixie, but Bon Bon, too! She gives me a gentle wave, and the two mares exit the chariot and thank the pegasi for the flight. They whinny in gratitude, before taking off once again. Wait, why do these ponies lack the ability of speech? Why are ponies pulling carriages for other ponies? I have so much to learn!
“Long time, no see, pony rider.” Bon Bon says with a grin.
“Heya, Bon Bon. Nice to see you. I’d take it you two have front row seats to my lovely mare’s coronation if you got V.I.P. service to Canterlot!
“And Noah would be correct!” A familiar shrill voice says, apparating into view.
“Climb off now, kid. You only need to be riding Glimmer here for the actual event. Stretch those legs of yours!” Twilight says, using a quick spell to lift me off Starlight, and putting me on the floor.
“I take it you slept well?” I ask Twilight. I have a feeling she would have responded, had Trixie not given Starlight and me a bear hug, or is it a “mare hug”?
“Trixie is all better now, Nurse Redheart used some fancy medicine to expedite the healing process, so Trixie pulled a few strings to see her friends!” The navy mare says, quite excited to see the two of us.
“Indeed she is. Poor Lyra had a doctor’s appointment today, so it’s just me!” Bon Bon says, beckoning Trixie to follow her. Trixie lets go of the two of us, and I carefully remove Starlight’s bridle, putting it into her saddlebag; which is hiding beneath her dress.
Twilight walks over to me and whispers something into my ear.
“I fixed the portal while you two were sleeping! Apparently, the problem had to do with Discord having a party, messing up the signals. It wasn’t String Theory at all! After your “girlfriend” gets crowned, you two are going to start up my School of Friendship, and Noah can be a student and a teacher! I already have delegates from the Kirin realm, the reformed Changelings, hippogriffs, dragons, and griffons! It’s nuts how much work I had to put into this.”
Wait just a moment. Did Twilight fix the portal?
“Where’s my sister? WHERE IS MY-.”
“Relax, Noah. Rebecca is fine. I need to do some final tuning, but the portal will be online by tomorrow. We can go get some more humans then. In the meantime, go enjoy yourself! Starlight would want you to!”
“Thanks a million, Twilight. Now, where do I need to take this handsome human to prepare for his speech?” Starlight asks her former teacher. She points to the center of the plaza, where a podium is being set up by two unicorn ponies, with Starlight’s cutie mark emblazoned on the front.
“Take him there. Celestia and I will be ready in ten minutes for the official “crowning”. Good luck, and I am so proud of you!” Twilight says, hugging my teacher, with a single tear exiting her mulberry eye.
“Thanks, Twilight. I wouldn’t be here without you.”
Trixie turns around and looks at me.
“Trixie has a question. Will she get a pet human of her own, too? Starlight looks like she’s having fun with you up there, and Trixie wants a passenger, too! She’d ask you, but it doesn’t seem right.”
Bon Bon chuckles at Trixie’s comment.
“The showpony has a point. I am also interested in having a human “rider”. It looks fun, but since you and Starlight are so close, it would seem wrong to ask you.” She adds on.
“Are you two serious?” Twilight asks, as the five of us walk and trot through the maze of ponies towards the center of the plaza.
“Indeed, Trixie is always serious!” She chortles, as Bon Bon nods in affirmation.
“Well, I have a feeling that once Starlight is crowned, we’ll get a trial batch of humans to come and visit. Noah, do you object to the first set of humans being “neurodivergent”? Your data is remarkable, and it seems that your social mobility has exponentially improved, thanks to Pony Power!” Twilight asks me, as I nod eagerly.
“Frankly, it would be egregious if the first batch wasn’t neurodivergent children and young adults. We need friendship more than anyone, and humans aren’t willing to give it to us!” I say, finally making my way to the center of the plaza. Trixie gives me a hug, before saying “Take care of Glimmer, you cute human. Trixie knows you two are more than friends. She doesn’t object!” She says, sticking out her tongue at me. Bon Bon sighs, as she leads Trixie to the viewer’s gallery.
I hear the flapping of wings, and Celestia lands quite clumsily behind me and Starlight.
“Long time, no see. I am going to introduce you to everypony, Starlight. Get that human on your back now! We need to show the bond between human and pony! It’s good optics!” Celestia proclaims as I fumble through my pony paramour’s saddlebag, looking for the bridle.
“MARES AND GENTLECOLTS, HER ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCESS CELESTIA, AND HER ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCESS TWILIGHT!”
A short trumpet fanfare plays seemingly out of nowhere, as the two alicorns make their way to the podium. Everypony present bows respectfully, before sitting down in their chairs. If there are really one hundred thousand ponies here, I can’t see the end of them! It’s mobbed! I finally equip Starlight with her bridle and mount her accordingly.
“Good afternoon, my little ponies! As my sun reaches its zenith, I am honored to welcome everypony here today for an auspicious occasion.” Celestia begins, “handing” the speech to Twilight. She clears her throat and begins to speak
“A few years ago, we were all here for a very similar purpose. I discovered a way to make Friendship tangible, and I earned these wings!” She flaps them for show, remaining in place.
“I became the Princess of Friendship, and Celestia and I have never been closer! I went on many adventures with my friends in the Elements of Harmony, and I even got my own castle in Ponyville! When I earned that castle, it came with a Cutie Map, which alerts me to this day about Friendship problems across this great land. My first Friendship problem was Starlight Glimmer.”
Starlight starts to trot ever so slowly, and I quickly grab the reins, not expecting to depart so soon.
“She used to be a mean pony, who made everypony live in fear and false equality.”
Starlight whispers to me “libelous mare!” before I gently pull her reins, shutting her up.
“My friends and I showed her the true meaning of Friendship, and after a climactic duel in Cloudsdale, she became my first personal student. For over a year, we learned so many things about Friendship together, and it was the happiest year of my life. Exactly one week ago today, I was doing some readings on the Magic Mirror, and I found an alien world! The creatures there are called humans. Humans, like ponies, need Friendship, but are not as capable of developing it for themselves! Celestia advised me to send a pony there to find a human willing to learn our ways.”
Starlight whispers to me: “That’s you, stud! ” I chuckle, and I flick the bridle, speeding my mare up into a canter. We’re still a distance away from the podium, so I think we’re fine!
“This human is a lot like me. He thinks differently and has trouble with some social cues. I sent Starlight to find him, and after some convincing, he agreed to come to visit Equestria!”
The crowd went wild, and a chant of “Twilight, Twilight, Twilight!” broke out amongst the crowd. After a minute or two, it calmed down.
“I appreciate the enthusiasm!” She says, to which everypony laughed.
“Now, about Starlight. She successfully taught an “autistic” human how to exhibit empathy, which wouldn’t normally be possible. His brain is wired differently, and I’d wager he had trouble finding himself on his planet. It was this act of teaching Friendship to somecreature who needed it the most that merited my pupil’s ascension into an alicorn. Mares and Gentlecolts, it is my utmost privilege and joy to introduce to you Equestria’s newest Princess.”
She takes a minute to blow her nose. She’s crying? Twilight must be really touched by this massive achievement of hers!
“STARLIGHT GLIMMER!”
That’s her cue. With a flick of the bridle, I urge my mare to take off, and we launch into the sky, doing a quick circuit around the plaza. Everypony cheered, and someponies pointed at me. Again, most ponies are not used to seeing human passengers! With poise and grace befitting a princess, my lovely marefriend lands on the podium, and she gently lifts me off her back.
“She brought a visitor, too!” Twilight adds, before casting a spell. This spell conjures a box. I don’t know what’s inside the box for sure, but it’s probably a tiara!
Celestia trots over, and opens the box, revealing, you guessed it, a tiara. It has a gem inside that is the same lilac color as my steed.
Celestia takes the diadem in her hooves and clears her throat.
“It is my honor to crown Equestria’s sixth Princess. Introducing Princess Starlight Glimmer, the Princess of Justice!”
Celestia gently places the tiara on my steed’s head, and it begins to glow light purple! The crowd goes wild and immediately bows in fealty to their new Princess. Heck, even I bow, rider and paramour aside!
Starlight looks so happy, and I am happy for her. She scoops me up and gives me a big “mare hug”.
“Speech time, Noah. Wish me luck!” She says, plopping me back atop her. She spreads her wings symbolically, and I feel my steed’s horn light up. A quick firework is launched into the noon sky, exploding in the shape of her cutie mark!
In sum, I am dating a pony goddess of justice, and I am honored to be her rider.
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 13: Order in Starlight's Court!
I honestly am not sure how to react. Externally, I am very happy that I am a princess and a Princess of Justice at that. Internally, I am seething. Becoming a princess is not something that I ever wanted, and it goes against everything that I believe in. I feel a whole variety of emotions, but I need to act properly in front of one hundred thousand ponies! I can’t screw this up. Besides, I just launched a firework into the sky, which should exhibit happiness; but I don’t feel happy! I feel, well I don’t know!
It doesn’t matter, anyway, because I have to give a speech now, and everypony is waiting for me to say something! I cast a quick spell, and a few cue cards are put into my hooves. I glance at them, going over my notes, and then I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing!
“Good afternoon, everypony.” I manage to whisper. I think Noah is the only creature who heard that. He taps me on the neck, and whispers “Try again Starlight. I am right here.” It’s a good thing he remounted before my speech started! I need him right now, and he doesn’t even know how badly I need him. I trot in place for a few moments, before clearing my throat. Maybe this second attempt at giving a speech will work?
“Good afternoon, everypony!” I exclaim, to which I am met with a reply of thunderous applause and cheer. That certainly put me in a better mood! Might as well continue!
“It is the highlight of my life to be crowned your newest princess. Before I get into the fine details of my mandate as Princess of Justice, I wanted to say thank you to a few ponies, first. I wouldn’t be here without my teacher, friend, and mentor Princess Twilight Sparkle!” I say, trying not to cry. My voice did get a bit higher pitched. Twilight trots over to me and we both embrace tightly. The crowd goes wild, with chants of “FRIENDSHIP! FRIENDSHIP! FRIENDSHIP!” This feels like the Buckball finals all over again!
“You’re welcome, Starlight. You can continue now. I am right here.” Twilight says, making her way to the bridge chair that she just conjured next to my podium. I nod, signaling that I am ready to continue my speech.
“Obviously, I also need to thank Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, because they were equally instrumental in my Friendship Studies over the past year. Don’t think I forgot about you two!” I chuckle. I take a deep breath and continue.
“Right, where were we? Oh! Right. Princess of Justice. Some of you might be wondering what exactly that is? Isn’t Equestria already a just society? Don’t we consider Friendship to be paramount? Well, I am here to make the case that a lot of work still needs to be done. Would anypony care to listen?” I ask rhetorically, as the crowd unanimously chants “YES, PRINCESS STARLIGHT!”
I chuckle at the group mindset, before continuing. “Well, Justice isn’t just a concept, but also a mindset. Ever since I was a little filly, I have noticed that some things in life aren’t totally fair. Initially, I thought the best way to deal with this was by forcing everypony to be equal. I took away hundreds of ponies’ Cutie Marks when I was mayor of “Our Town”. I sadly didn’t realize that my vision of Justice was warped. Justice involves cooperation and pacifist activism, rather than unilateral decision-making and offensive maneuvers. My year of study under the tutelage of Princess Twilight showed me that while my intentions were noble, my means to achieve them were flawed.”
This is true, by the way. As much as I am posturing to the crowd, I am being dead serious. I am still adamant about ensuring equality amongst all Equestrian citizens, but I don’t plan on using such draconian measures to bring about my ideal utopia. I just hope everypony will like my ideas! Here goes nothing!
“So, now you are all probably curious on how I am going to harbor Justice within the confines of the law. Well, now you are going to find out! I plan on broadening the money laundering laws in Equestria, to ensure that nopony will get away with white-horseshoe crime again!”
The crowd cheers and I see some of the Canterlot nobility begin to shift uncomfortably in their seats! My plan is working, like clockwork! I couldn’t be happier. Seeing those rich, self-absorbed excuses of ponies be brought to justice brings me utter joy.
“No offshore bank accounts in Seaquestria, no insider trading on the ESE, and no more tax evasion! Everypony can and will pay their fair share!”
My rider chuckles. I think he’s heard this line before back on his planet. I’ll agree to disagree with him. He’s being incredibly well behaved for a creature who doesn’t like loud noises and large crowds. I am proud of him!
“It’s not just white-horseshoe crime I am going to fix. There is a problem in our society with regard to discrimination against nonponies. My senior Princesses, save for Twilight, are still somewhat antiquated in their definition of Friendship. They believe it can only be achieved between ponies, and ponies alone. That is very outdated, in my opinion.”
Perfect segue to talk about my rider and his Friendship program! I am so excited to talk about it!
“Not only will I bring justice to Equestria, fix her criminal code, and improve wages for all ponies, I will also maintain and improve Twilight’s Friendship Program! As Twilight said before during her address to you, exactly one week ago today, she discovered a new planet. I don’t particularly remember her misadventures with Sunset Shimmer, but it’s not that planet. It’s a different one. Twilight gave me a unique assignment. I was to meet, interact, and befriend one of these planet's denizens.”
I need to act impartially in regard to Noah right now. He’s my coltfriend, rider, and student, but nopony here knows any of that. I have to keep the “lovey-dovey” stuff to myself! This will prove to be quite the challenge!
“The human who has the honor of being mounted atop an alicorn is named Noah. He is around my age, and we have gotten along quite nicely together. As Twilight said earlier. This youngster has a neurological condition, called “autism”, that allows him to see the world quite differently than most. While he is highly intelligent, astute, and bookish, it came at a heavy price. Noah’s brain cannot process social cues in the same ways that other humans, or ponies, can. His brain is like a library, that isn’t cataloged! The books are there, but they aren’t in the right places!”
I turn my head back towards my rider and ask: “Does that sound about right?” He nods and gives me a gentle pat on the neck.
“Keep going, Starlight. You’re doing great. Hell, I wouldn’t have put it any other way” He says, scratching me affectionately behind the ear. I try not to blush, and I continue with my address.
“From what Noah has told me about his race, humans are a complicated species. They fight, destroy cities, damage their own planet for resources, and discriminate against each other. Even with all of that, humans are innately social creatures. They need Friendship to survive properly, and Twilight thinks that we can help them get there. When I first heard of this plan, I was appalled! I am vehemently against imperialism of any sort, as you have probably inferred by now.”
The crowd started laughing, and even the Princesses in attendance joined in! At least I have a good sense of humor, right?
“Thankfully, this program is on a volunteer basis, and only those humans who fully consent to participation will be admitted to this program. Now, for an announcement!”
The crowd oohs and ahhs, wondering what I am going to announce. Twilight nods, signaling I am allowed to announce the School of Friendship on her behalf.
“Princess Twilight and I are opening a school! It’s not going to be any old school. It’s going to be a School of Friendship! The two of us want to bring Friendship into the modern era, and we think inviting some new creatures into the mix would make things more fun!”
The crowd goes silent. I am not sure if they are waiting to hear more, or are about to riot in objection to my inclusive agenda!
“Twilight sent out letters to the leaders of several nonpony races, inviting them to send their youngsters to learn our ways. As of today, we have dragons, Kirin, griffons, hippogriffs, and even changelings who are sending their young to our school for the next scholastic year! Humans from Noah’s world will also be in attendance, but I need to work on the finer details of that.”
The Canterlot nobility, who are sitting in the front row, look at me with disgust and indignation. First, I call them out on tax fraud and evading the law, and now I am breaking the wheel of Friendship, and building a new one!
“A unique addition to the program in regards to human pupils is that they will all be “neurodivergent”. This means that these students will be differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal. Now, don’t get me wrong. That doesn’t make these kids any less intelligent. They just show their smarts in a different way. Please take note that I got my wings for bringing Friendship to a creature who needed it the most.”
I hear a significant amount of boos and hisses in the crowd. I guess someponies are ableist! Celestia gives the crowd a stink eye, and the jeering ends as abruptly as it begins. Somponies are jerks!
“We all need to catch up with the times, it seems…but I digress. The point is that it is an act of Justice to bring Friendship to those who wouldn’t receive it normally. Making the world a better, more equitable place is something I’ve always wanted to do since I was a filly. Now, I can.”
Now, for the technical stuff. It’ll be a bit boring, sure, but it’s just as important as the sentimental aspects of a speech.
“The first batch of humans will be neurodivergent adolescents and young adults between the ages of 13 and 25. I expect there to be maybe fifteen or twenty, but no more than twenty-five. My goal is to teach these humans how to interact with anycreature without needing to hide who they are. Conversation skills, empathy lessons, heck, even board games! Anything that can help these humans discover Friendship for themselves can and will be used in this groundbreaking, highly innovative program.”
I turn my head once more, to see how my rider is holding up. Looks good on his end! He seems to be quite pleased with these progressive ideas that Twilight and I came up with. Noah seems more relaxed now, shifting himself comfortably in his seat. I am happy that he’s relaxed!
“Some of you might also be wondering what this young man is doing sitting on me, and with a bridle in my mouth, no less!”
The crowd quickly turns their attention to my rider, who goes pale as a ghost!
“Don’t worry, everypony, what he’s doing is actually part of the Friendship Lessons I’m giving him! It’s called “riding”. Where Noah comes from, there are creatures somewhat similar to us that humans have domesticated. They are much simpler creatures and are not sentient like us. Humans use them as beasts of burden. I personally find that abhorrent, and Noah does, too! Before you all get mad and throw things at me, let me explain myself, first.”
I hope this part goes well! Please, please let it go well!
“As I just stated, the main difference between ponies and “equines”, as Noah calls them, is sapience. We can exhibit how we feel, emote verbally, and are conscious of our surroundings. Ponies happen to be strong! We have abilities that humans don’t possess, such as flight for pegasi, or magic for unicorns. Even Earth Ponies have a hoof-up on them, with uncanny stamina and durability!”
The sea of ponies all look at each other, each race noticing their differences and similarities. They promptly return their attention back towards me.
“If we want to help humans, especially neurodiverse humans, in their quest to learn Friendship, we need to show them that we can be trusted. Lending our backs to a human is a reasonable step in this direction. We can aid them in their travels, possibly lift them into the heavens if you’re a pegasus, or provide well-needed companionship! I can assure you from personal experience that “riding” is a painless activity, and actually can be quite comfortable at times!”
I think the word of a Princess should be enough to quell the fears of the masses, but life has taught me that I cannot be certain about anything. I need to play it safe!
“The best part is, other nonpony races can help humans in this regard, too! Kirin, Changelings, Griffons, and even Hippogriffs are all tall enough and strong enough for a human to use as a “steed”, as Noah calls a creature who is used to aid humans in their travels. Nopony will be forced to do anything. I can assure you all of that! Besides, this is a trial run in the Equestrian Exchange Program. If anything goes wrong, the next batch will improve and learn from our mistakes.”
So far, this speech is going quite well. I just hope that the crowd won’t break out into heckling again! That really bugged me! Everypony needs to learn some decorum, especially in Canterlot, of all places!
“Providing a physically weaker species with assistance in travels, as well as emotional care and support is a true act of Friendship. In fact, I could even go as far as to claim it saves lives!”
It’s anecdote time! I love anecdotes!
“Imagine, for a moment, a human child who has nocreature to care for them. They are alone, sad, and even melancholic at times. Then, they hear that a talking pony is willing to teach them Friendship, possibly even befriend the child, as well! Once being properly vetted by both human and pony governments, the child will be brought here to learn our ways! Feeling a tangible bond with a friend can improve empathy, cognition, and even reduce depression! Hugs work, too, but imagine if you are a pegasus, and you take your human friend for a ride in the sky! Imagine being a unicorn, taking your human friend for a ride, enhanced with magic! Imagine being an Earth Pony, taking your human friend for a ride, teaching them valuable life lessons and social skills along the way! The possibilities are literally endless, and I have a very good feeling teaching Friendship to as many creatures as possible will enrich the lives of everypony!”
I think I hit the nail on the head because I heard one pony clapping her hooves. I think it was actually Bon Bon! A second pony joins in, and then a third. A few moments later, the entirety of Canterlot Square burst into voracious applause! Chants of “Friendship” and “Starlight” could probably be heard from all four corners of Equestria!
My rider gives me a hug and whispers something into my ear. “I am one lucky human, you know that, right? Riding an alicorn goddess, being her friend, being her boyfriend, the whole nine yards!”
Well, of course, he’s a lucky human! He’s my lucky human, and now it’s his turn to give a speech!
“Well, I think everypony’s heard enough of me already. Before we get to the party, which I hear was planned by none other than Pinkamena Diane Pie herself, there is one more speech that needs to be given. I would like to introduce to you my student, my rider, and my co-equal sovereign of Justice. Introducing Noah the Human, Rider of Justice! Can everypony give him a round of applause?!”
***
Woah, my pony goddess girlfriend sure can give a speech. Honestly, it was probably one of the best speeches I have ever heard in my life. What I certainly wasn’t expecting was the lack of applause or even a reaction to Starlight introducing me! I guess ponies are not used to new things? Maybe Friendship is a façade? I don’t know. What I do know is that the silence was deafening. Perhaps the crowd was only applauding out of duress?
Twilight looks at me with a sorry muzzle, almost as if she feels bad for me. She probably does. Celestia gives the audience yet another stink eye. Nothing happens, but Starlight turns her head and gives me a pleasant look, signaling that I can begin my address. She casts a spell, giving me a few cue cards, too! Starlight doesn’t let me dismount her, and I could see why. The atmosphere looks like a volcano is about to erupt!
I clear my voice, and Starlight smiles at me. “You can do this, my adorable rider.” She says, affirming me.
“Uh? Hello everypony?” I say, only to be met with the chant of “Go home, monkey!” by a few annoying pony racists. Thankfully, Trixie uses a spell to augment her voice and says: “Trixie is friends with the human. Be nice to him! Friendship isn’t just between ponies, but between any sentient creature who wants it. Stop being so foalish!”
Starlight sighs but nudges me with her wing. “You have a supporter, stud. Good for you, kid!” She says dryly, urging me to continue my speech. At least Trixie’s defense silenced the haters! That’s good, right?
“Sorry about that, guys. Anyways, I am not that good at speeches, so I am going to keep mine short and sweet. My name is Noah. I am human, and I have the honor of being Starlight’s rider, and student. Now, the thought on your mind is: “What the hell is a Rider of Justice?”
The audience nods, eager to learn what the aforementioned title is, and what duties it holds. Might as well try to explain it to them? I honestly don’t know for myself!
“Well, a “rider” is a human who mounts an equine and steers them where he wants to go. Obviously, I don’t steer Starlight. She’s just as smart, if not smarter than me. She just lets me ride on her back because humans are slow, and she wants to make things easier for me. In an ideal world, the bond between steed and rider is one of mutual trust and understanding. Most humans don’t have that with their “equines”, but I’d go far enough to state that I have that with Starlight.”
Hope I am not ranting or anything! So far, so good, right?
“We both trust each other, care for each other’s well-being. She trusts me to the point that she fused souls with me to teach me magic! Apparently, human DNA can channel magic, but only if a unicorn wants the human to learn it!”
To prove my point, I use my basic telekinesis spell to levitate my cue cards in the air for a moment, before placing them back into my hands. The unicorns in the audience were impressed, to say the least!
“Magic is one of the many things I have learned during my stay here, but the most important thing I learned was how to exhibit empathy. A few nights ago, I was invited to attend Trixie’s magic show in Ponyville, and she botched a spell. She seriously hurt herself. While someponies say Trixie is a braggart and an exaggerator, I think she’s rather charming! She was nice to me when I first came here and gave me a helping hoof!”
I hear one pony in the audience start to sniffle. I take it that’s Trixie?
“She hurt herself doing what she loved: trying to make ponies happy. I felt bad for her, so I rushed through the crowd to check in on her. I had never felt that way towards someone before, even when some of my closest relatives passed away. I could have only done that with the help of the pony I am riding on.”
The audience is stunned. I don’t know what else to say, but Bon Bon shouts from the rafters “He was nice to me, too! We went out for lunch for one of his Friendship Lessons, and he didn’t care that I was dating a mare!”
Woah, that came out of leftfield. I hear the same heckling ponies say the word “fillyfooler” over and over, before Bon Bon breaks out into tears, galloping away from Canterlot. As much as I felt bad for her, she also brought it upon herself by “outing herself” like that. Read the room, much? Still, poor Bon Bon!
Starlight puts a hoof on my shoulder and interrupts me.
“Whoever made such a ponyphobic comment is hereby ordered to come and reveal themself!”
Now that Starlight is a Princess, she can actually enforce things! The royal guards comb through the audience, looking for the usual suspects. Snow Piercer, the Earth Pony captain of Celestia's guard, drags an Earth Pony Stallion to the front of the podium, where Starlight and I were standing.
“State your name, jerk!” Starlight says, horn alit with magic, in the event things go downhill. I sure hope they don’t!
“Clout Chaser, Ma’am.” The colt says, sheepishly.
Clout Chaser? I almost wanted to burst into laughter at the mere mention of such a silly name. I guess all ponies’ names reflect their talents?
“Clout Chaser! By royal edict, I hereby demand that you find Bon Bon and give her an apology! If you don’t, you will be charged with inciting Discord of the second degree, which is punishable with 2 years in Tartarus, if proven in court!” Starlight says. Clout Chaser isn’t in the mood to be incarcerated, so he gallops off to find Bon Bon to apologize.
“Sorry about that, everypony. While it might be taboo, nopony should insult another pony in public!” Starlight says sternly to the crowd, before letting me continue.
“Right. I just wanted to tell everypony about how Starlight was nice to me and loved me for who I am. I plan on helping out at this School of Friendship, and I can’t wait to make more friends!”
Starlight is getting the feeling that something bad is about to happen because she spreads her wings! Could it be Ultra Alicorn Instinct?
“GO HOME, MONKEY!”
A unicorn zaps a massive bolt of lightning at me, point-blank.
“Grab the reins and let’s go!” Starlight says, as the Royal Guard immediately pins down the equine assailant. I am honestly a bit scared!
I grab the reins and urge my mare to take off, quickly and promptly. “I’m so sorry about this, Glimmy. Giddy up, and let’s get out of here!” I say, flicking the bridle. Twilight takes off before we do, leading the way to Celestia’s castle. Starlight gallops off the stage, launching herself into the air. I think Starlight is trying not to cry. I stroke her mane while we ride, trying to calm my mare down.
I guess Equestria is a lot like Earth after all. People and ponies both hate for no reason.
“No…nopony will ever lay a hoof on my rider!” Starlight screams at the top of her lungs, as Twilight sighs.
“Ponies never learn, they never learn,” Twilight says, as we fly towards Celestia’s castle.
Some coronation, this was!
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 14: Neurodiversity is Magic!!
Poor Noah! Poor, poor Noah! That bucking dolt who tried to zap him off the face of Equestria has a lot of chutzpah! Even if Noah is immortal now, thanks to my soul fusion trick, it’s not nice to zap a creature with the intent to kill! I certainly hope attempted homicide charges are laid against that horrible excuse for a unicorn! It doesn’t matter, anyways. I am angry, and I want Noah to feel safe. Knowing he’s on my back makes my nerves a bit less tense, but knowing that there are ponies who don’t want any humans in Equestria disturbs me.
We continue to fly towards Celestia’s castle, and Noah is shaking. He usually shakes one of his legs as a stim when he’s stressed, but now his entire body is vibrating rapidly. I really feel bad for him, and I want to do something to help!
“Noah, my rider, are you okay?” I ask him, as he tries to stop shaking his body.
“I’m alive, thanks to you. If anything, I am thankful, Starlight.” He says with affection. Twilight looks at the two of us with pity.
“I am so, so sorry your coronation as Princess of Justice didn’t go as planned, Starlight. I’m very proud of the two of you, and I think you both made the right choices. It’s better to avoid conflict than to instigate it, or even fan its flames!” Twilight explains to us, as we finally approach the citadel. Carefully swooping around in a final approach, I try to find the guest suite window that I jumped out of a few minutes prior. Finally locking onto it, I nudge my rider with my left wing, directing him to suck in his gut for landing.
“Landing already? Damn, I have a fast steed, and a cute one, at that!” He says, sucking in his gut, bracing for my landing. I find that my landings are getting easier each time, but I am only a freshly minted alicorn, so I have plenty of room to improve. Leveling out my wings for landing, I feel my front hooves clip against the floor. Finally, all four hooves make contact with the marble, and I carefully and precisely slow my gallop down to a complete stop over the course of some fifteen seconds. The castle corridor is quite long, indeed!
Noah sighs, and I finally deactivate the “glue” spell. Noah’s legs leave go from my body, and he shakily dismounts me, taking an extra minute to remove my bridle. Twilight lands shortly after and gives me a rather tight hug. In the light blue dress that I am wearing, the waistband is rather tight, so I feel the hug a bit too much!
“Starlight, my lovely, smart pupil. I want to apologize for not planning well enough to take rabble-rousers into account. I didn’t think that there were ponies who harbored hatred in their hearts towards humans, or even nonponies, for that manner. I give Luna a bit of slack because she’s one millennium off track from the rest of us, but modern ponies in the Friendship Era?! ” Twilight says, aghast.
“It’s fine, Twilight, it’s really fine. I am more worried about my rider. Can I go check on him?” I ask Twilight, who sits down on her hind legs, notebook spawned. It’s a very typical move of Twilight to write down everything that could have gone wrong. I feel really bad for her.
Noah taps my barrel, alerting me to the coalescence of cool air and magic forming across the hall. With a gentle pop, another pony teleports her way into the common hall. Thank goodness it’s a friendly one! I wondered where Princess Luna was during the ceremony! I knew she was there, but I couldn’t spot her amongst the crowd.
She trots over slowly towards the three of us, cosmic mane flowing around her body. Noah looked at the mare in awe. I guess he’s never seen Luna with the “cosmic mane” before? It’s quite pretty, indeed! Finally approaching the three of us, Luna sits down on her haunches and lets out a hoof.
“Come hither, “Rider of Justice.” We wish to speak with thee.” Luna says, kindly beckoning him to approach her. Not many ponies or creatures are invited into the personal audience of Luna, so this is a big deal!
“Sure, Ma’am.” He says before Luna sticks out her tongue at him.
“We are both on a surname basis. If thou art the co-equal sovereign of Starlight, there is no need to use honorifics when speaking to us. The surname Luna is appropriate, youngster.” She chuckles, as Noah approaches the lunar alicorn.
“What do you want to speak to me about?” He asks her, as Luna uses magic to conjure a chair for him.
“Sit, young human. We have a story for thee.” She playfully orders as Noah listens to the mare in front of him. He sits down on the oak wood chair in front of him, and I notice that it has Luna’s Cutie mark on it!
“This tale is notable for everypony present in this hall. Twilight and Starlight, we give the two of thee consent to open thine ears, as well.”
Luna clears her throat and begins to speak with the poise only she could manifest. Luna is a fun pony, indeed! Much more clever and erudite than Celestia, but don’t tell anypony I said that!
“We are also on this “spectrum” the rider is on, Starlight. Our near-fanatical obsession with the moon and stars as a filly horrified Tia, so she took us to see Starswirl the Bearded for a magical evaluation.” She explains, projecting images of these past events onto the wall of the castle. Twilight was almost as intrigued as Noah. I’d guess she’s never heard this story before, either?
“After careful evaluation, Starswirl told our sister that we were in an altered state of being. Keep in mind, young “rider”, that the Two Sisters were merely unicorn fillies at the time! No immortality, no Cutie Marks, nothing to distinguish us as notable ponies. He did not have a name for our condition, but he explained that he’s seen it before in quite a few creatures. We were given the instructions to embrace our uniqueness, and hone our special interests for the benefit of all ponykind!”
Quickly changing the scenery, Luna shows the four of us how she received her Cutie Mark.
“Contrary to popular Ponish legend, we did not get our Cutie Mark by raising the moon; rather by successfully intercalating the Equestrian Calendar. We discovered something that was later named the “Metonic Cycle”. It was a cycle of 19 years when the lunar phases recur at the same time of the year. We also proved that a lunisolar calendar, rather than a solar calendar, would be the ideal way to track the seasons. We performed this feat at the age of twelve!” Luna says, in what Twilight would call a “humblebrag” moment.
“In sum, Noah the human. We used our innate interests to benefit all of ponykind, even when others told us it was not our place. Even Tia was skeptical of our progress; always infantilizing her younger sister, considering her inferior, and whatnot. It was this infantilization that led to the horrible actions of Nightmare Moon. We were not given the love we deserved, and we didn’t know the best method of asking for it.”
Luna’s horn deactivates, and she sighs. This must have been rather traumatic for her, and Noah can see that. Twilight raises her hoof. I am curious what she’s going to say!
“It’s crazy how much can change in one thousand years, Luna. When I was a filly, I enrolled in Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. I didn’t do well on any of the standardized tests, so Celestia gave me a unique way of proving my abilities. She told me to hatch an egg. That’s how Spike was born!”
Twilight smiles, thinking of her, well I don’t know what to call him. Is Spike her son? Her attendant? Her ward? Eh, I’ll get to the finer details later. The point still stands, though!
“I also got my Cutie Mark that day, showing my innate talent for magic. Like you and Noah, I wasn’t always the most social pony. I always deferred invitations to parties, social get-togethers, and other events in lieu of studying, or reading a book, or learning privately with Princess Celestia.”
Twilight takes a moment to compose herself, clearly distraught from the hateful conduct her subjects showed just a few short minutes ago. I go over and embrace her, taking a minute to pat her on the back, trying to calm my mentor down.
“Thanks, Starlight. I needed that. Now, back to my story. Right around the time Luna’s exile was due to end, Celestia knew that the Nightmare would return. She needed six ponies to come together to become bearers of the Elements of Harmony. It just so happens that a certain mare was lacking friends, and her teacher gave her the push she needed to find Friendship. That’s how the Mane Six came to be!”
The Princess of Friendship smiles, thinking of her friends. While I knew Twilight was “neurodiverse”, I didn’t know about Princess Luna! This information could prove to be extremely insightful when the School of Friendship opens imminently.
Noah stands up from his chair and promptly changes the subject.
“Do you know what’s going to happen at the coronation party? The four of us ditched, and there are probably many ponies who are eager to see us, and ask questions too! Is it still going on?”
Noah asked a very good question. I did ditch my own coronation party! That’s very un-princess-like of me! Twilight and Luna both chuckle, and smile.
“The party’s still going on, Noah. Don’t worry. It’s not going to be a loud event. I don’t like excessive noise, either, and only the most notable and essential ponies will be in attendance. I don’t think there will be more than two hundred and fifty ponies total. Does that make you feel any better?” Twilight asks him. Noah nods, signaling he is okay with this party’s plan.
“Sounds like a plan, everypony. Now, one more question before I hop back on Starlight. When is the Friendship School opening?” Noah asks Twilight, who promptly replies with “Three weeks from today. The building needs to be set up, I need to recalibrate the portal to your planet, and I have to print thousands of pages for textbooks!” Twilight promptly answers him.
Thousands of pages, huh? Sounds about right. Noah turns around and opens my saddlebag. He needs to reequip my bridle if we’re going to ride back to the party! As he’s fumbling through the bag looking for this key item, I hear a knock on the door of the foyer.
Princess Luna casts a quick spell, and the large wooden door opens, creaking softly as well. Well, that’s a nice surprise! Noah’s never met this mare before. I think they’ll get along swimmingly!
***
Who the hell is this? She’s gray, has a rock on her flank, and-. Wait a minute. No eye contact, looking at the floor…is this another autistic pony?
“I heard there’s another evolved creature here. Does he like rocks? Please, for the love of Luna tell me he likes rocks!” She says, quite devoid of any emotion while speaking.
“Maud Pie. She’s something. Stubborn as a rock (pun intended) and neurodivergent like almost everycreature here.” Starlight says, introducing me to this Earth Pony mare.
Rocks? That’s one hell of a special interest, but I think I can pull this one off. I know a few facts about geology, so maybe she’ll think I am cool? My special interest is in law and political science. No wonder Starlight thinks I am awesome!
“Name’s Maud. Maud Pie. My sister planned the party. She’s nuts. We don’t talk a lot, but she’s an Element, so the Pie family gets perks every now and then. More importantly, DOES THE RIDER KNOW ABOUT ROCKS?!”
I chuckle, before approaching the mare, letting out my hand to shake her front hoof.
“No, I don’t touch. You should know better, being evolved and all that.”
Sensory issues, huh? I used to have those, but they went away over time.
“No touching…got it! As for a rock fact, I have one for you. Ever hear of pumice? It’s the only rock that can float!” I say, to which Maud clicks her tongue.
“Silly creature. Pumice isn’t a rock. It’s cooled lava. Well, it’s technically a rock, but I don’t consider it one. The density in that thing’s lighter than air, so it floats! Volcano pressure can do that, you know! I have a degree in geology from Canterlot University, so hit me up with any rock questions!” Maud is a bit less emotionless when talking about rocks. I get that. Special interests make things more, well, interesting for people!
Luna looks at Maud with a curious gaze. “What is the purpose of thy visit?” She asks sincerely, wondering what Maud Pie is doing so far away from home.
“I want to help the neurodiverse humans learn Friendship. I don’t know much about Friendship, but I know about autism. Always have somepony who is autistic help out when dealing with autism. Basic pony ethics! Maybe I could teach the teachers about how to handle these humans properly?”
Twilight smiles, clearly pleased about something.
“Did Pinkie Pie teach you a joke, Maud? Did you learn empathy just like that?! ”
Maud doesn’t react to the question, but she does reply. “I care about things that affect me. Autism affects me, so I want to help others. Rocks also affect me, because they are timeless and eternal, like-.”
Woah, Woah! She’s got an ego! I like it! I like this one. She’d be a good asset in the Friendship School.
“Well, we have Trixie and Bon Bon on the team, and we do need more ponies to help out. You’re hired!” Twilight says with glee.
My lovely pony marefriend raises a hoof, clearly wanting to share something crucial with us.
“We’ll talk about Friendship School stuff later. First, I have a coronation party to attend. Noah, put the bridle on. We have a party to go to, and I want to have a cupcake!” Starlight says, quite eager to leave. I can tell that she wants to leave because her wings are tilted upward, like flaps on an airplane.
I am not one to disobey my marefriend, so I promptly reequip Starlight’s bridle and mount the Commie Horse with eagerness. Pressing into her sides, I gently turn my mare around towards the window.
“Glimmy, you’re probably going to need to back up a few paces. We’re still a bit too close to the window to take off safely.” I tell her kindly, as she teleports the two of us a few meters back.
“Twi, we’re going to the party now. I want to show my rider off to my social circle. Noah, you know the drill.”
Yeah, yeah yeah.
“Yeah, I know. Hyah! Giddy up!”
Starlight raises her front hooves for a moment, before galloping off towards the window/launchpad.
“I’ll be at the party in half an hour, Starlight. I have to talk to Luna about some Princess stuff.”
“No problem. Hold on, my little rider, we’re going to take off!”
And with that, my lovely mount flaps her wings and launches herself into the stratosphere. I hope the party will be fun!
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 15: 2001, An Equine Odyssey
Parties suck. They are really boring, you have to answer a lot of stupid questions, and more often than not, the food isn’t really good. My rider probably agrees with me, at least, I think he does? The entirety of my coronation festivities were both boring and stressful. Pinkie Pie broke out into a bunch of silly musical numbers, joined by the rest of the Elements. I find these to be cheesy and pointless. Noah thought it was rather cute, so I guess it’s not that bad, right?
Twilight also took the liberty of roasting me during the coronation party. I didn’t think the Friendship pony had it in her to roast somepony, let alone her pupil! Regardless, it seems that there is only one joke that everypony makes about me, and it’s about my leftist beliefs. It gets really old, really fast. Why didn’t they say anything about my kite interests? My toxic relationship with Sunburst before I met Noah? There’s loads of material there! Come on! At least I can take a joke. I know that Twilight did her roast in good taste, so I wasn’t insulted. Noah, on the other hoof, was livid.
“Starlight, why is Twilight being mean to you, and why is everypony laughing?” He asked me, as I quickly remembered that sarcasm is one of the many things Noah doesn’t fully grasp.
“It’s called a roast, Noah. A roast is when people poke fun at you in good taste, and while they can be mean, it’s always done in good taste!” I tried to explain to him, as Noah tapped his chin, wondering what exactly a roast is.“They did this at Twilight’s coronation, too; so I’ve heard.” I tell him, as he wonders why a Friendship deity is acting out of character.
On a different subject, I’ll give my rider credit for abstaining from any alcoholic beverages! Someponies got rather tipsy on cider and other boozy drinks! Rainbow Dash tried to fly upside down, and the paramedics had to wheel her out on a stretcher. I’d wager she had a blood-alcohol level of .12! I had two shots of cider. It was my coronation party, after all. I am mediumweight, so I didn’t collapse on the floor of the venue with my drinks. All of my “Equality Party” meetings were at taverns, so I’ve built up a tolerance!
The festivities ended around the time Luna had to raise the moon. Since my blood alcohol was too high to fly safely, Noah and I were teleported to Celestia’s castle by Princess Luna. She seems to really take a liking for him. I get the feeling her affection towards him is more maternal than romantic, so I don’t care. Those two were hitting it off during the party, talking about books, magic, and even astronomy! I am glad Noah made a new friend. It warms my heart.
Anyways, that was last night. We both went to bed completely drained of energy, falling asleep in a few short moments. I don’t remember anything else that happened last night. Seriously. Things did get better this morning. I woke up at around 8:00 AM, and I got into the shower to cool off my muzzle. Sometimes, ice-cold showers can restart your systems. Today, it did just that. I feel much better already!
Finally getting out of the shower, Noah had already written his breakfast into the magical ordering journal, and he ordered me Prench Toast and orange juice. He did tell me it’s called “French Toast” where he came from. Languages are fascinating. The two of us eat our breakfast in a state of serenity. Noah is a bit of a klutz, because he had the crumbs from his French toast on his shirt, and he had to keep getting up to clean off his clothing! Aw, he’s a cute one, that’s for sure.
I hear a loud knock on the door, and I quickly use a spell to open it. Of course it has to be Trixie. Didn’t she get zapped back to Ponyville already? Why is she still lingering around? Whatever the azure mare is here for, it better be worth it.
“Good morning, Princess Starlight! Trixie has been informed by Princess Twilight that she is to be your Chief of Staff!”
What? Trixie, the “Great and Powerful”, as my Chief of Staff? I don’t even know if she has any organizational skills. She could be just as deficient as my rider, for all I know!
“Wait, you have staff now, Glimmy?” Noah asks me, quickly putting his orange juice box down, looking at Trixie.
“Indeed she does, Noah. Indeed she does. Trixie will also be more than happy to hang out with the Princess’ rider. She likes him, and wants to be his friend!”
Noah smiles, glad that his acts of kindness towards Trixie have paid off so far. “Sure. Speaking of Friendship stuff. I was told you’re working at the school. What’s your job?” Noah asks, genuinely interested in hearing what this annoying mare has to say. Sometimes, I wish I was as naive as him. He hasn’t had to put up with the “Want it, Need it” fiasco the two of us went through a few months back!
“Trixie isn’t totally sure what her job is at Twilight’s school, but she knows that it isn’t a position with humans. She thinks it’s with the Kirin, but only time will tell. Bon Bon, on the other hoof, is working with the human pupils. She specifically asked to!” Trixie says, quickly answering Noah’s question. He gets up and goes to look for the “Magic for Derpies” book that he brought with him. I take it he’s got a question for the showpony? He’ll ask later. I have more important things to deal with!
“Trixie, if you are my Chief of Staff, who else is working for me?” I ask my new employee, whose horn lights up in pensive thought. She’s silent for a few long moments, before finally coming up with something to say.
“Well, Trixie is your Chief of Staff, Noah is your rider and pupil, Bon Bon is your education liaison, and Maud Pie is your "neurodiversity" specialist! Trixie also heard that Celestia is working on allocating funds to build you a castle. You’ll probably have more staff there, too.”
“No castle for me, Trixie. You know full well what I think on the matter.” I say sternly. I don’t want a castle! I want to live in a normal house or flat like any other pony. I can’t just say I am in favor of equality and then live a life of luxury?! Noah would tear me to shreds for that, right?
Trixie laughs at me and then smiles a way only the showpony can muster. “It doesn’t matter. Princess Celestia insists that all Princesses of Equestria have a castle to call their own. You don’t want to make a poor impression one day after getting crowned, do you?” She says smugly. Darn, that sun despot! I want to run things my way, but if I have to use the wheel in order to break it, then I am more than willing to play along for now.
“Right, right. I’ll deal with the castle situation later. Do you have any information on the Friendship School, Trixie?” I ask her, as she spawns a notebook and hands it to me. I skim through the pages, and I see some notes from Twilight regarding the portal to Noah’s planet.
Twilight’s Log:
It seems that my recalibration of the Mirror Portal is finally complete! It took a few days, but after finally factoring in the Friendship particles, I was able to stabilize the quantum tunnel! I have a fully functional wormhole between “Earth” and Equestria! I will go and find Starlight Glimmer as soon as I am done with confirming my findings.
Well, this is excellent news! Noah can finally go back to “Mount-ree-ale” and pick up his sister. I don’t mind having a second rider for a few minutes. If both Noah and Rebecca are under 400 kg total, I can carry the two of them! I think that’s reasonable, right?
“Well, where is the book pony, anyways, Trixie? She wrote that she’d come to find me as soon as.-”
“I am done with confirming my findings! I meant it!” Twilight says, scaring the living daylights out of me by teleporting into my suite. Why didn’t she come through the door like a civilized pony? I don’t get it! I get spooked easily!
“Twilight, what the feathering buck is wrong with you?! You scared me half to death!” I shout, wings emoting my frustration vividly. She sighs, clearly annoyed with my reaction. “Look, Glimmer, I want to get this darn Friendship School up and running ASAP! I fixed the portal, and I sent official letters of invitation to human governments!”
Noah’s face turns completely pale. He looks like he’s about to faint, or worse! Well, not or worse, he can’t die, right? He’s fused with me, rider and pony, one soul!
“You, you made first contact, Twilight?” He asks, his voice and body shaking horrified at Twilight’s announcement.
“Well, of course, I did, silly. How else are we going to gain consent to allow for the migration of humans between worlds! The letters were actually received warmly!” She says, clearly pleased with herself.
Trixie seems happy with this revelation because she is bouncing up and down with glee. “Trixie is very happy you made first contact! Do you know if you’re going to receive a reply?” She asks, eager to hear more from her former archrival in magic. Twilight takes a minute to compose herself, before answering Trixie’s question.
“Well, all replies are programmed to be sent to my castle in Ponyville, so I don’t know if anyhuman wrote back to me. We can go to Ponyville now if you want! I can program the Mirror Portal now to any coordinate on Noah’s planet, for easy access and retrieval. We can pick up his sister, and then show her around!” Twilight exclaims, fluttering in the air. She must have been working like a nut to finish all of this during my coronation!
“Trixie wants to come, too! She wants to have a pet human, or “rider”!” She says, quickly grabbing her saddlebag with magic. Well, if Trixie is my Chief of Staff now, I am almost obligated to bring her with me on official Princess of Justice business.
“Sure, Trixie, you can come. Just, promise me on the Oath of the Two Sisters that you won’t buck anything up. Be nice to the human female, okay?” I say sternly, to which Trixie recites the aforementioned oath: “Trixie swears on the Manes of the Sun and Moon that she will not do anything foalish while on official Princess of Justice business!”
Making an oath on the Two Sisters is a very serious decision. It can be used in court, and violating it is tantamount to perjury! Whenever a pony makes an oath on the Two Sisters, regardless of what race of pony they are, a spell is cast, placing a golden ring on their front hoof. If the oath is broken, it teleports the pony to a detainment center, where they are then arraigned for perjury. There hasn’t been a recorded case of perjury on the Two Sisters since Twilight was crowned as the Princess of Friendship!
“Noah, get my bridle and saddle. We’re going to Ponyville to pick up Rebecca!” I say, half-excited and half-terrified. I don’t know if this other human will like me at all.
***
“Noah, get my bridle and saddle. We’re going to Ponyville to pick up Rebecca!” Starlight says. I can’t tell if she’s excited or terrified. All I know for sure is that I am excited because I miss my little sister to bits. I've only been gone for a bit less than a week, but it feels like an eternity since I’ve seen her. I am more than happy to go to the coat rack in the suite and collect my marefriend’s riding gear.
Trixie looks at the gear more carefully and then proceeds to ask me a question.
“Noah. Trixie has a question. Do you know if wearing this “riding gear” hurts a pony? If Trixie is going to allow her Great and Powerful back to be used for a human’s traveling needs, she needs to know if it’s uncomfortable!” She asks, a bit unsure and curious about the comfort of the saddle and bridle. Starlight trots over to her and places a hoof on her shoulder. “I find it comfortable, Trixie. Noah is a rather light human, at a measly 77 kilograms. Do you know how much your trailer weighs?” Starlight asks her, trying to do some mental math.
Trixie would have answered the question, had Twilight not interrupted this rather silly conversation.
“Trixie. Shut your muzzle and hold still. I am zapping you to the Castle of Friendship. One, two,..”
Trixie yelps, and is then struck with a mulberry purple teleportation spell, sending the showpony to Twilight’s Castle of Friendship. I chuckle, and my mare chuckles as well. Twilight couldn’t help but giggle at Trixie’s reaction.
“Silly showpony. Not expecting anything until the last minute. I did tell her to hold still. Now, Noah put those silly clothes on Starlight, and let’s roll. I want to see this “Earth” place for myself!” Twilight says, eagerly waiting for me to equip Starlight. I give Starlight her saddle, and she quickly puts it on. Taking a minute to adjust the straps, she then opens her mouth and lets me put the golden bit inside. I’ve secretly wondered what it feels like needing to bite something constantly for prolonged periods of time?
It doesn’t matter that much. I am just curious. I finally secure Starlight’s bridle, and Twilight leads the three of us to the corridor on the fourth floor. Starlight has been using this corridor as her personal runway!
Starlight looks at me, giving me an affectionate look. “Well, I don’t have all day, O rider of mine. Hurry up and-.”
I get it, I get it! I put my right foot into the faux leather stirrup and pulled myself atop Starlight.
“What did you say about expecting things until the last minute, Twilight?” I say smugly. Twilight laughs. “You two are a cute couple. I’ll finally concede that. Follow me, you two loveponies!” Twilight says, galloping towards the open window and taking off. I know a signal when I see one. I gently press Starlight’s sides with my feet and urge her to begin our voyage.
“Let’s go pick up my sister, Glimmy. Giddy up!” I say, flicking my mare’s bridle.
Starlight sighs. “It was funny the first few times, Noah, but it’s getting old. Just tap me with your feet and we can go.” She says, beginning to gallop across the corridor to gain speed for our takeoff.
“Sorry, I thought you liked it, Starlight,” I say, feeling a bit remorseful for infantilizing my lovely teacher.
“No biggie. Just, be you, okay? I love you, and you need to hold on because I am going to take you for a fun ride!”
Well, that was a quick change of pace. Starlight spreads her wings, and I promptly grab the reins, gently pulling them upward. Starlight launches herself off the balcony, before flapping her strong wings. And we have liftoff! In a few brief moments, Twilight and my steed are both at a reasonable altitude above the cloud line. Twilight isn’t flying as fast as she usually does, probably to make things fairer for Starlight. She did just get “alicorn’ed” within the past week!
“So, “Rider of Justice”, tell me what other Friendship Lessons you’ve completed since we’ve last spoken?” Twilight asks me, aching to hear about my studies.
“Well, last night, while Starlight was half-drunk from her coronation party, I tried Lesson #5, being empathy. I don’t drink, because it doesn’t go with my medication. I tried to “put myself in somepony else’s hooves” and wondered how Starlight would feel being inebriated. I made sure to take care of her while she was out of it.” I reply, making Twilight smile.
“You’re going at a quick pace, kid! I’m proud of you. I think you’ll graduate from this program as a stellar friend. Bonus points for picking up a mare, too! I’d be bold enough to infer that most autistic humans don’t have romantic relationships, due to social cues being difficult?” She asks me. Well, Twilight is autistic as well, so I am surprised she doesn’t know the answer to this question, herself!
“Bingo, Twilight. I am one lucky human. I have a friend, a marefriend, a free ride, and-.”
Starlight becomes rather warm. I feel her heart beating slightly faster than normal. “Come on, Noah. You’re riding me. When I’m warm, I can’t flap my wings as easily. You don’t want to crash, do you?” She says, quite stern with me. I haven’t seen my marefriend in this mood before. I don’t like it, not one bit. “Sorry, Starlight.” I say, quite guilty about making Starlight upset.
I am quite surprised at how practical riding alicornback is. We’re averaging at 160 miles per hour, and it only took ninety minutes going from Ponyville to Canterlot! Factoring in the crosswinds and the jetstream, I think we’re going to arrive in Ponyville shortly!
“Twilight, I have an alicorn biology question for you,” I ask the Princess of Friendship.
“It better be appropriate. I don’t want to hear about your bedroom jaunts with my student!” She says cautiously. Huh, I didn’t even think about that. I wasn’t going to ask anything lewd!
“No, it’s about wings.” I quickly reply, putting the Princess at ease. I could have sworn I heard her mutter “Thank Celestia”.
“How fast can an alicorn fly? I assume that since alicorns are a mix of all three pony races, they have augmented abilities from each?” I think this is a reasonable question. Today isn’t the day I am going to push Starlight to her limits, but I am a bit curious to know how fast she can fly. I wonder if Twilight knows?
She takes a minute to think about my question, before replying. “Well, Rainbow Dash is the fastest pony in recorded history! She broke the sound barrier, making a Sonic Rainboom!” She says, still somewhat stunned that a pony can fly that fast. “Well, given that the sound barrier is 767 miles per hour or 1235 kilometers per hour, I’d say that’s the outside limit for a normal pegasus pony. That is, assuming they train like crazy their whole lives. It would probably only be for short bursts. Even Dashie gets tired.”
Wait, ponies can breach Mach 1? This planet is awesome! That still doesn’t answer my question about alicorn flight, but I am going to put that on my back burner right now. I see Ponyville up ahead, and Twilight means business right now!
“Put a pin on that question, Noah. We’re here. Hold onto Starlight, we’re descending now. You can use my perch over there.” She says, pointing a hoof towards a tower attached to her castle. I steer Starlight leftward, and she banks accordingly aiming her body towards the tower. Twilight followed in her stead.
“The Mirror Portal is still in the room with the Cutie Map, you two. Starlight, you know the way.” Twilight says, quickly descending from the heavens. Starlight descends as well, but more slowly than her teacher.
“I don’t want you to throw up, Noah. That was a 55-degree angle! She’s nuts!” Starlight says, quite astonished by her teacher’s feat. Finally landing on the tower, I dismount my friend and remove her bridle, putting it inside her saddlebag. The two of us follow Twilight through her castle, on our way towards the portal.
“I made a few modifications to it, Starlight. Humans can walk through the Mirror now without needing to ride a pony. Taking Noah’s DNA sample when we first met certainly made things easier. Hurry up! We’re only two flights of stairs away from the Cutie Map!” She says, quite loudly at that.
It’s been a few days since I’ve been in Twilight’s Castle of Friendship. It’s much more colorful and vibrant than Celestia’s estate. There’s more purple, pink, and even the occasional yellow hue! If Starlight is getting a castle, which would be funny if she did, I wonder what colors it would be? There better be at least one room that’s blue! We finally made our way down the second flight of stairs. Twilight turns left, using magic to open a purple wooden door. The three of us enter the room, and I am met with the very room that greeted me to Equestria.
“Does this room look familiar, Noah?” Starlight asks me rhetorically, pointing around the room towards six stone thrones. Since I have more time and I am not as stressed, I notice that each throne has a logo on it.
“I recognize your Cutie Mark on the head throne, Twilight. I take it all of the thrones are your friends’ Cutie Marks?” I ask her, as she quickly nods her head.
“Exactly. I am a bit disappointed you haven’t met all of my friends yet, but I am sure we’ll get to them soon enough. We’ve all been busy. Even the Mane Six have to be by themselves sometimes, getting work done. As long as we still keep in touch!” She joyfully says. Starlight taps me on the shoulder, and I face towards the other side of the hall; opposite the Cutie Map. I see the very Mirror that brought me here. It’s not glowing with magic, so I just see myself in its reflection. My baby blue eyes look brighter than usual, and my pale skin and brown hair look just the same. I probably need to shave as well, come to think of it!
Twilight casts a spell, bringing a small box into her hooves. It’s no bigger than a tissue box in size, and it has a label on it that reads REVISED MIRROR PORTAL TO HUMAN WORLD .
“This box is the console for the Mirror Portal. I made some upgrades to it, as well. You can plug in any coordinate on “Earth” and it will take you there. I put in the coordinates for Noah’s house, so you’ll end up back where you started."
Trixie gallops through the door, panting heavily. “Trixie heard you land on the tower, so she came right down! Why did Trixie get zapped? I spawned at Sweet Apple Acres, for crying out loud!” She sounds rather cross, but Twilight doesn’t seem to care that much.
“You made it here, didn’t you. Now, go with Noah and Starlight through the portal to his house. I have to pony the controls. Got it?” Twilight says, casting a spell on the box. This spell gives the box a red button, which she promptly presses. As soon as her purple hoof leaves go off the button, the glass Mirror begins to warp. I take it that means the quantum tunnel is online?
“Mirror Portal is online and stable. Good luck, you three. Bring me Rebecca! Tomorrow we will pick up our students!” Twilight says excitedly. Trixie bounces along, being the first pony to enter the portal. She screams once she realizes that it atomizes the traveler and turns them into spaghetti! It didn’t hurt the first time, but it did feel weird. I got motion sickness from it, nothing more than that! Starlight laughs out loud. “Poor Trixie. She’ll be fine.” My marefriend says, becoming the second pony to walk through the portal. She does so with more poise than Trixie; especially since she didn’t scream during the transfer!
Well, time to go home to Montreal, and pick up my sister! I gently tap the portal with my right index finger, and I feel the glass wiggle around me. I take a deep breath and walk through. My entire body is atomized instantly, yet I still maintain some level of consciousness. All around me are squiggly lines, colors, and weird shapes. There is also this ringing noise that I hear, that sounds like a bell chime. At least I went through this portal before, right?
After two long, tedious minutes, my body rematerialized, and I am spit out of the portal, right in front of my house. Starlight and Trixie are already wearing winter clothing, probably due to magic. Starlight notices me and zaps me with a spell. I am now wearing my winter outfit! I have a really nice coat that can withstand up to -40 degrees, and warm mittens.
“Glad to see you made it out alive, Noah!” Starlight says sarcastically, knowing that I’d make it out alive.
“I could say the same about you and Trixie. I am quite glad that it’s only cold today and not snowing. I remember a blizzard we had around two weeks ago, and we got over thirty centimeters of snow!
“Woah, Trixie thinks that would have been so cool. At least today is more like a Winter Wrap Up!” Trixie says, making a comparison to something I’ve never heard of before. Leading the way, I make my way up the stairs of my duplex slowly. They are a bit icy, so I need to exercise caution. The last thing I want is to slip and break some bones; especially if I have to go back to Equestria. I ring my doorbell and wait.
“Trixie thinks Starlight and Trixie should hide until Noah introduces us.” She says, teleporting herself and Starlight out of view. I see them hiding near the garage door, so they are not going anywhere far. That’s good! I hear someone come closer to the door, and it finally opens.
Oh, Rebecca. I missed you so much. Your blue eyes, your cute face, your brown hair, so neatly braided. I feel amazing, knowing that these benevolent horses brought me back to see her!
“Hi, Becca.” I say, as my sister lets me into the house. She is a bit confused. What’s gotten into her?
“Where were you for almost a week, Noah?” Rebecca asks me, both curious and livid. I must have left Earth while she was still in school, come to think of it!
“Uh, business trip?” I say, to which Rebecca slaps me on the face.
“You’re a horrible liar, you know that! You should know better after that asshole abandoned our family and lied about it!” She says, correctly pointing out that lies are not my forte. I really should know better, given my family’s history, but the truth is crazier than the lie I came up with just now.
“If I tell you where I was, you won’t believe me,” I say.
“What, where could you have possibly been that I wouldn’t believe. It’s COVID, Noah. The Canadian border is closed, and you couldn’t have gone farther than Vancouver.”
I crack a smile, and my hands start to glow.
My sister’s face turns beet red. I must have startled her! I wasn’t trying to do that.
“Holy shit, my brother has superpowers!” She says, quietly freaking out. Using my empathy lesson from Starlight, I try to “put myself in somepony else’s hooves” and realize that Rebecca must be scared shitless. I am not trying to scare her, but I need to tell her the truth slowly…ah, screw it. I’ll just show her.
“Rebecca. Put on your coat and boots. The truth is outside.” I ask, being quite frank with her.
“The truth is outside? Come on, Noah! I am sixteen years old. You can tell me the truth here, can’t you?” She asks, trying not to pout. She was much younger when our father left us, so she is more directly impacted by the consequences of his actions; as it formed a fair amount of her personality.
“I promise, on Mom’s name, that I am telling the truth. Put on your jacket and boots, and open the goddamn door!” I say, quite cross with my sister. She sighs and goes into the coatroom to get her winter wear. She finally comes back to our vestibule, wearing her dark purple winter coat, with matching white mittens and a purple tuque.
“If the truth isn’t outside, Noah. I am not going to speak to you for a month! I don’t like jokes, and Mom was scared half to death after you left! You didn’t even tell us where you went!” She says, opening the door and letting herself out. Quickly walking behind her, I close the door and begin to walk down the stairs.
“Just follow me. I promise the truth is right here. At the garage door, in fact!” I reassure my sister, as we finally make our way to the bottom of the stairs. Turning left onto the sidewalk, my heart is racing. I’m introducing my sister to two talking ponies, one of whom is my girlfriend! I just hope she doesn’t take this poorly!
I finally turn left again, entering the driveway, and the two mares wave at me.
“Hey, Noah. Where’s your sister?” Starlight asks me, as Rebecca turns the corner and freezes.
Trixie trots up to my sister rather quickly and scans her from head to toe.
“Hello, human girl. This is the Great and Powerful Trixie speaking. Trixie wants to be your friend!”
My sister screams at the top of her lungs. Typical. I just hope her debriefing will go well…
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 16: A Great and Powerful Rider!
So, my rider’s sister is a scaredy pony? This is new! She’s screaming at the top of her lungs, and Noah is trying to calm her down! Why is she scared? Did I say anything, do anything to upset her? She tries to run away from us, but Noah is trying his best to restrain her.
“Becca, don’t go anywhere!” He cries, worried for his sister’s health and wellbeing. Rebecca slaps him in the face, furious. “Go anywhere? I am clearly high, drunk, or worse! Why are there pastel horses who can talk outside our home? Hell, one of them has wings, and both of them have horns! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! ” She says, quite alarmed by our arrival. I am a bit tempted to tell her everything right now, but Trixie just has to make things about her. She sits down on her hind legs and smiles.
“Trixie is a friend of Noah’s. He came to Equestria on an official exchange program to learn the Magic of Friendship! The Great and Powerful Trixie was his first friend ever!” She says proudly. Rebecca is too stunned to say anything in response. After a few awkward moments of silence, I finally break it, explaining why we’re here.
“What Trixie is saying is true. We’re both from another world, and Noah was with us for almost a week.” I explain, trying to keep Rebecca calm.
“Another world?! How can you be from another world?! How can my big brother, who has special needs, go to another world?! Hell, I am basically his older sister, with how much I need to take care of him. Our mother works all the time, and I have to watch him every single minute of the day!” Rebecca says, furiously at that. Why is Noah’s sister treating him like an invalid? I don’t get it. Noah is a very capable human, and he should have just as much agency as anyhuman else!
I am slightly offended by Rebecca’s infantilization of her older brother. I want to say something, but I remember that Noah cares for his sister, so acting on my rage would not go well with him, or with Rebecca, either!
Noah takes his sister by the hand and brings her closer to Trixie. Trixie looks at the adolescent girl again and smiles.
“Trixie doesn’t bite. Do you want to see a magic trick? Trixie just wants you to have a friend!” The showpony says, trying to be kind for once. Rebecca’s face turns white like a ghost.
“Friends? Friends?! Unlike my brother, I am an incredibly popular person. I have lots of friends at school, I am loved by everyone, and I don’t get into trouble! ” She says, furious. I understand where she’s coming from, but Noah wants his sister with him in Equestria. I am not going to foalnap her. She has to agree to these terms herself!
“Look. I’m running a Friendship School. My fellow ponies want to help neurodiverse humans learn social skills. Our princess, Twilight Sparkle, personally selected your brother to be the first human student of Friendship. He’s learning so much, and he even made a friend. Wouldn’t that be exactly what you’d want for him?” I say, trying to reason with Rebecca. I am really trying to be logical when dealing with Noah’s sister, but she doesn’t seem to get it. There’s something else bothering her, and I want to know what it is.
She scoffs at my earlier comment. “Of course, I want my brother to have friends. Why do you think I’ve basically had to babysit him since I was old enough to realize he’s delayed? Even with my friends at school, I don’t have a life! All-day, every day, it’s ‘Watch Noah, make sure he doesn’t say anything crazy. Keep him company, play a board game with him, blah-blah-blah!’”.
Trixie feels really bad for Rebecca and places her head on the human’s shoulder; in an act of empathy. “Trixie gets it, she really does. Trixie is a magician pony, and she wants to make everypony around her smile. Sometimes, her ego gets in the way, and she thinks of herself first, before other ponies. This could interfere with Trixie’s goal of making as many ponies as happy as she can. While Trixie doesn’t have a sibling with autism, she does have a friend with it.”
Hearing the word “autism” makes Rebecca turn her head towards the blue unicorn.
“P…Pastel horses have autism, too?” She asks, not knowing that we’re called ponies.
“Yes, ponies can be neurodiverse, too.” Noah says, answering his sister’s question.
“Huh…that still doesn’t answer the question of why you vanished.” She says, going back to the subject at hoof. Noah’s disappearance is a real sticking point, that’s for sure!
Noah was about to answer the question, but Trixie wanted to keep explaining her friendship with Maud. Noah put a finger up in the air, alit with magic; quieting Trixie down. Rebecca noticed this and got scared.
“Did, did these ponies hurt you? Why do you have superpowers now?” She asks her older brother. I guess I have to spill the beans! There’s no other way of explaining it.
I sigh and trot closer to the human girl in front of me. “Well…Noah is a bit more than my friend.” I say, blushing at the thought. Rebecca takes a minute to decipher my inference, before coming to the realization that her brother is in a relationship with me.
She looks at me, and then looks at Noah, before looking at me again, with disgust. “You…you did what with Noah?” She says, trying not to lash out, or hurt me. I mean, let her try! I am a bucking goddess, and she’s a human with no magic! Darn, my ego’s in the way. This is serious!”
Noah chuckles, before looking his sister in the eyes. “Starlight is my marefriend. Yeah, we cuddled. So what? She’s not an animal, Rebecca. Starlight can talk, she can verbally emote what she wants, she can fly, but most importantly, she’s a kind pony. She’s been nicer to me than anyone else I’ve met; besides for you and Mom.”
I am getting the impression that Rebecca is disgusted with Noah that he’s in an intimate relationship with another species.
“Noah, you’re insane. We’re both going insane. There are no pastel ponies. Horses can’t talk. They don’t have horns or wings, you’re not dating one, and tomorrow, we’re both going to wake up, and laugh about this.”
Denial is a common reaction to seeing something that doesn’t conform with your standard perception of reality. Heck, I’m still somewhat in denial that I am an immortal alicorn, but I digress. How exactly am I going to prove to Rebecca that Trixie and I are real, and we don’t want to hurt her brother? We both came here to pick her up and prove to her that her older brother is in good hooves! I don’t know how much Trixie cares for Noah, but I fused souls with him. We’re inseparable!
“I don’t know how else to explain it, Rebecca, but Noah is my soulmate,” I say sternly. I cast a spell, and Noah and I both lit up with lilac magic. Our hearts become visible to Rebecca, and she can see that they are both beating in perfect synchrony. Her mouth opens wide in shock and awe.
“The spell that I just cast shows you that our two life-forces are literally intertwined. Noah asked me to teach him magic, and the only way for me to do that was to merge my essence with his. Your brother is a very kind boy, and the fusion of souls expedited my affection towards him. He loves me, too! There aren’t any humans in Equestria, but Noah convinced me to allow him to ride me around places! That’s how much I love him!” I say, deactivating the “Heartbeat” spell, reverting our two bodies to their normal state.
Rebecca is in utter disbelief. I take it that in her sixteen years of life, she’s never seen somehuman outside of her immediate family that showed care towards her brother. Maybe some specialists treating his autism claimed to, but they did it in a way that treated him “less than”, more like a pet or a terminally ill patient. Trixie taps me on the wing, and I notice that Rebecca has tears forming in the corners of her eyes. I guess that little magic show I put on with the two hearts beating as one was riveting!
“You, you do care for my big brother, don’t you?” Rebecca says, trying not to cry. I take it that older humans avoid crying in public, as it tends to show immaturity? Noah cries a lot, but he’s different. Rebecca is “neurotypical” as Noah would call humans without a neurodiverse condition.
“Well, duh? Trixie cares for Noah so much! He’s funny, incredibly smart, and-.”
“Not you, blue pony, I’m talking to the one with wings! She looks authoritative!” Rebecca interrupts Trixie, causing her to pout. Nopony likes being interrupted, but Trixie was at fault here. She should have known Rebecca was talking to me!
“Y…yes, I do care for your brother. I care for him deeply. I want him to be happy. In fact, I have a secret to tell you. Want to hear it?” I playfully ask Noah’s sister. She nods, wondering what I could possibly want to tell her.
“I’m actually a Princess!”
Rebecca lifts her head up at me and smiles. “When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a princess. I had dolls, toys, all the stuff a little girl would want to play with. Do, do I have to kneel or bow at you now?” She asks, half-joking.
“Nope! I am a Princess of Justice. Hay, I didn’t want the job in the first place! I was a unicorn, just like Trixie until this week. Teaching Noah empathy was what gave me these wings, making me an alicorn and a princess; all in one fell swoop. Besides, you’re Noah’s sister. That makes you royalty, too!”
Noah looks at me and shrugs his shoulders in confusion. “Wait, I thought my Rider of Justice title was honorary?” He asks me, wondering what kind of game I could be playing with him right now.
“Well, I wasn’t the one who gave you the title. It was Princess Celestia. To me, you’re just my student and rider, but on paper, you're a Prince, and that makes Rebecca a Princess! We both know you aren’t going to do jack with that title, but it’s a legal technicality.”
Noah grins at the thought, and then focuses his attention on his younger sister. “Well, what do you know? Rebecca, the princess after all this time! Mom is going to freak out when she comes home. Speaking of which, where is she?” Noah asks his sister, who takes out a weird box from her coat pocket. The box lights up, and Rebecca pushes it a few times, before placing it on her ear.
Noah taps me and smiles. “That’s a phone, Glimmy. Humans use them to communicate with each other. It’s like your UniPhone system, but outside of the body.” He tries to explain to me. I nod, vaguely understanding this concept. Rebecca is talking on this “phone” for a few minutes, before putting it back into her coat pocket.
“Mom’s on her way home. She’s going to freak out when she sees you two “ponies”.” Rebecca says, a bit scared of the maternal retribution that is to come her way. Oh, I remember messing up as a filly, getting myself into trouble. It didn’t go well; not one bit!
Trixie is starting to feel a bit left out from the conversation, so she gently taps a hoof on Rebecca’s shoulder. Rebecca turns around, and Trixie seems to be interested in asking a question.
“Trixie has a weird question for you, Rebecca.” The showpony asks. Wonder what’s up her tail today? Her questions are sometimes insightful, but more often than not they are annoying!
“Sure. Mom’s going to be home in five minutes, so make it quick.” Rebecca says, awaiting to hear the unicorn’s query.
“Well, as Princess Starlight told you a few minutes ago, Noah has the honor of being Starlight’s rider! Ever since Trixie met Noah, she’s been fascinated with the concept of having a human companion. If you do decide to come with us, can Trixie be your steed?”
***
What a day I’m having. First, my brother comes back from a week of nothing. Then, he comes with two talking horses, one of whom is a god. Said god pony is dating my autistic brother, and fused souls with him, while the other pony asked me to ride her? 10th Grade exam season is nothing compared to the crap I am dealing with right now! Some people have easier lives, I guess?
I was moments away from telling “Trixie” that she was out of her gosh darn mind before I see Mom’s car pulling up. Trixie, Noah, and Starlight move back onto the sidewalk, trying not to get hit by the SUV in front of them. Once the white RAV4 finally parks in the driveway, my heart starts racing. I told Mom that there would be a surprise when she got home, but I didn’t get into the specifics!
Mom opens the driver’s door of her car, and gets out, noticing me and my brother first. Closing the door, she seems relieved, but not upset.
“Hi, Noah! Where did you go five days ago?” Mom asks him, seemingly uninterested in doling out a punishment of any sort. Noah gives Mom a hug, before telling her everything.
“If I told you where I was, you wouldn’t believe me. Heck, even Rebecca didn’t believe me until I showed her! Promise me that no matter what I tell you, you won’t think I am crazy.” He pleads with her.
“Noah, I’ve dealt with your idiosyncratic behaviors for eighteen and a half years. I think you telling me where you went is the least of my worries. Go on, I won’t be mad.” Mom says to him, reassuring my nervous wreck of a brother.
It was at this precise moment that my brother’s “girlfriend” began to trot out from behind the bush line, seemingly invisible from before. I guess the goddess pony can use magic or something. She sheepishly waves to Mom, and Mom smiles.
“Oh, you’re Princess Starlight Glimmer, right? I heard about you on the news in the car on the way home!” Mom says, totally at ease with the talking pony in front of her.
“Wait, Glimmy was on the news?!” Noah says, shocked and horrified. Oh god! If these ponies were on the news, then-. I quickly whip out my phone and Google “ponies”. The front page shows pictures of the two mares in front of me, in front of a majestic castle! What kind of crap have I gotten myself wrapped into?! The hashtag #FRIENDSHIPISMAGIC is number one trending on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, even TikTok! This is nuts!
“Yeah, you don’t remember Twilight telling you before the quantum jump that she sent letters to human governments?” Starlight says to him condescendingly. Trixie revisualizes, coming out of hiding, as well.
“Don’t know who you are, other pony, but I know that the radio said two ponies were coming to Earth, so, hello!” Starlight and Trixie both shake my mother’s hand with their hooves. To be completely honest, this sight is truly something to behold. My mother, a special education teacher, is totally unfazed by two extraterrestrial creatures, one of whom is a deity, coming to Earth! I show Noah the Google search I made moments prior, and he uses his new superpowers to show it to Starlight.
“Woah, I’m famous! My little rider did something good for once!” Starlight says, pecking him on the cheek with affection.
Mom smiles and gives the pony goddess a warm embrace, totally devoid of hesitation or fear. The lilac pony was stunned, and her maw went pale.
“You finally taught my boy how to socialize. I am forever in your debt, Princess.” Mom says, with tears in her eyes.
The winged pony returns the embrace, with her purple feathered wings wrapping around mom.
“No need for debt or anything superficial, Noah’s mom. I just want to take him home with me. He’s got a school to open with me, Trixie, and Princess Twilight!”
“That’s right! The School of Friendship! I heard about it on the radio. You’re probably going to need a teacher or two! I work with special needs students all the time, so I am more than happy to provide assistance!” Mom says, leaving me totally stunned.
“Mom, what the flying f*ck has gotten into you?! You have a job, I have school, Noah has, I don’t know what! We can’t drop everything and go to a magical pony planet! You’re out of your mind!”
Starlight finally exits her embrace with my mother, before patting me on the head with her front hoof.
“Nopony said you have to drop everything and run! Only Noah’s coming back with me permanently. Besides, Princess Twilight fixed the portal, allowing for unfettered access between our two worlds. If either of you wants to come and visit, you can, and come home in one piece! Ponies aren’t a warmongering race. We harbor love and Friendship!”
Huh, so like a vacation? It is Sunday today, and I have nothing to do…maybe this is worth a shot? I walk towards Trixie and look at her carefully.
“Do, do you have a saddle, Miss Trixie?” I ask the blue unicorn, a bit embarrassed!
Princess Starlight smiles, and her lilac horn ignites with magic. Two saddles and two bridles are conjured into existence. One pair is handed to Trixie.
“You just need a human to help you with the bridle, Trixie. The saddles are easy, just like a t-shirt! Besides, we wore these to the Grand Galloping Gala last year!” Starlight says, with a smile. What the hell is a Grand Galloping Gala? I’ll find out later.
Trixie bounces up and down with glee, before putting the saddle on. She uses a spell to hand me the bridle and smiles.
“Trixie finally has a Great and Powerful Rider! Isn’t this fun! She’ll show you magic tricks when we get back to Equestria, Rebecca!”
Well, one thing’s for sure, I have a big ego, so hearing Trixie call me Great and Powerful put me in a much better mood. I’ve been horseback riding a few times, unlike my spaz of a brother (who I assume just learned this week). This means I know how to bridle a horse. I don’t want to hurt Trixie, so I wait for her to open her mouth before I insert the purple bit into her mouth. Finally securing everything in place, I notice that the saddle matches her blue coat! It’s pretty!
I just realized something. What about Mom! Who’s going to carry her to this alien planet?
“Uhh, do either of you two know how my mother’s going to get to this planet, err. What’s it called?” I ask, honestly not knowing what it’s called.
“Equestria. Our kingdom is called Equestria.” Starlight replies, before whispering something into Noah’s ear. Once she’s done, Noah approaches Mom and taps her on the shoulder.
“Yes, dear, what do you want?” Mom asks him.
“It’s actually a bit of a personal question, ma. You see, Princess Starlight is a strong pony. She can lift up to 400 kilograms! Obviously, you don’t weigh 400 kilograms. I weigh 77 kilograms, but I need to know how much you weigh. Starlight has to factor in weight to determine how fast she can fly!”
I want to punch him! Noah should know by now to never ask a woman how much she weighs; especially your mother! Even if it is a practical question, like weight distribution, asking such an intimate question is highly inappropriate!
“Noah…silly boy,” Mom says, clucking her tongue. She approaches Starlight, and whispers a number into the god-pony’s ear. She nods.
“Yeah, I can do that. Buck, I’ll be under half my weight limit. My rider gets the front seat, though!” Starlight says as Noah equips his “marefriend” with the bridle.
Starlight casts a spell, and I feel weightless! My body is being thrust into the air, and is being moved towards Trixie! Trixie claps her front hooves together in glee, before putting them back on the snow-covered sidewalk. My legs are spread apart gently, and I am plopped onto the blue unicorn. She squirms in discomfort for a moment, before sighing in relaxation.
“Ah! Trixie sees why Starlight likes this activity so much. You’re like a weighted blanket, Rebecca!” Trixie says, casting a quick spell. This spell levitates the reins of her bridle and places them into my hands. To be honest, riding in the snow is something I’ve never done before, so holding reins with mittens is new!
I turn my head back and see that Noah is mounted on his “marefriend”’s back, with Mom holding his waist behind him.
“Trixie. Don’t gallop fast, please?” I ask the unicorn. She nods eagerly.
“Sure thing, Great and Powerful Rider! No fast riding for you! Besides, Princess Starlight is the only pony who knows the return spell. We have to ride behind her, anyway!”
Return spell, huh? I wonder if traveling in a quantum rift is painful? It doesn’t matter anyway. I am too far into this to back out now. Starlight trots off the sidewalk, eyeing the road to see if anybody is coming.
“No flying this time, Noah. I don’t know how your mom handles motion sickness. Besides, we don’t need to use these wings for the jump!” Starlight says, galloping ahead. Trixie slowly joins her, carrying me along for the ride! I feel warm and fuzzy. Trixie is nice and warm. That's an added bonus.
“You’re nice and warm, Trixie!” I say in praise. She grins. “Of course she is! Look, Starlight’s horn is lighting up! The quantum jump will start soon. Hold on to Trixie’s Great and Powerful body!” She says. I wonder why Trixie speaks in the third person? It reminds me a bit of Elmo from “Sesame Street” if we’re making comparisons.
Starlight’s horn lights up. “Quantum jump in three…two…one!”
I listen to Trixie’s “Great and Powerful” advice. I firmly grasp the mare’s neck, and the “god-pony” leading our caravan spreads her wings, and her horn zaps all five of us into, something! My body is completely atomized, but I still maintain consciousness. Whatever my mind is right now, it’s observing the vibrant colors and sounds around me. I see shades of every hue imaginable, it's truly magnificent!
After two long minutes of this, I feel my body’s molecules coming together once again. Everything’s back where it should be, and Trixie’s back, too! I’m still astride her, and Noah and Mom are still with Starlight. Way ahead of me, near the horizon, I see a glass mirror.
“Trixie, what’s that mirror doing?” I ask the blue unicorn with curiosity and wonder.
“Oh, that’s the final gate to Equestria! Once you breach it, your home-free!” Trixie exclaims as we all get closer and closer to the pink mirror. After another thirty seconds or so, I see the winged pony in front of me, along with my mother and brother, vanish through the mirror.
“Five seconds to the Equestrian frontier, Rebecca!” Trixie says, casting a spell removing all of our winter clothes. Apparently, she’s still wearing a funny conical magician’s hat, though.
“Three, two, one…”
The two of us breach the glass, and we’re spat out into a large, majestic hall. Finally coming to a complete stop, Trixie grins.
“That was fun, Rebecca! We’re going to do that again sometime!” She says, clearly pleased with the experience. I, on the other hand, still need to make up my mind. I spot my brother and mother, along with Starlight a few paces ahead of me. Trixie trots towards them. I carefully dismount her once we make it to my family; with Noah and Mom doing so as well. Starlight casts a spell, removing both Trixie’s and her own riding gear. She gently places them at the corner of the room.
“I’ll get those later. In the meantime, look around, newhumans !”
Mom and I hold hands, and we listen to the Princess’ request. I see six stone thrones in front of me, each engraved with a unique logo of some sort on the head of them. There’s also this weird table with a projection on top of it? Huh, neat! Maybe this place isn’t as weird as I thought it would be?
A few moments later, I hear the loud clobbering of hooves. I see yet another winged unicorn pony run into the room. This mulberry pony, who I assume is also a deity, looks elated for some reason. Is it because of our arrival?
“Thank Celestia you two came back, Trixie and Starlight. Oh, more humans! I know about Rebecca, but who are you? ” The other pony asks my mom, pointing a hoof at her.
Noah answers on mom’s behalf. “Oh, that’s my mom, Princess Twilight. She’s a special-ed teacher, so Starlight thought it would be a good idea to at least show her the Friendship School before she agreed to lend her support.”
Twilight smiles, and flutters in the air with glee. “Hello, Noah’s mom; hello Rebecca! I’m Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship. We have so much to talk about!”
Starlight and Noah both sigh. “Here we go again, more expositioning.” Starlight says, playfully nudging my brother.
“Oh yeah, that'll be fun.” He replies as the interspecies couple sits down at two of the thrones. I take it I’m allowed to do so, as well? Trixie and I sit down on two of the other thrones, and my mom and Twilight sit down as well. Twilight sits at the head throne, with a funny-looking mark that matches the ones on her flanks!
“Welcome to Equestria, newhumans! The honor is mine!”
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 17: A Sweet Teacher!
This is certainly something I wasn’t anticipating. Bringing my sister to Equestria was part of the plan, but my MOM? Why would I bring Mom here? This doesn’t make any sense!
My mom and sister are both stunned at Twilight’s castle, and my sister is taking pictures of it with her phone.
“This place is awesome! Thrones, a giant magical table, you name it!” Rebecca says, inadvertently complimenting Twilight’s castle. The Princess of Friendship smiles at the praise.
“Thank you, Rebecca. This is actually my castle. I’m very happy you like it!” Twilight replies, happy that her castle’s decor didn’t go unnoticed. My mom then proceeds to approach Twilight and asks her a rather important question.
“So, Princess Twilight. I am a special education teacher. This means that my job is to help kids with learning differences thrive in school. I figured if you’re opening a School of Friendship with human students, you might need a helping hand. Is there anything, in particular, you’d like me to help you with?” My mother politely asks. Twilight takes a minute to consider my mother’s question, before smiling.
“Well, since I work with ‘neurodiverse’ students on Earth, maybe you can tell me what kind of stuff I need to make the school better for them!” My mom asks further, quite eager to assist the ponies in developing their school.
It takes the Princess of Friendship a while, but she finally has an answer for my mom. “Well, there is an Earth Pony named Bon Bon who I know in passing. Her marefriend Lyra was a classmate of mine in school. She runs a candy shop in Ponyville, but she also has a degree in education. I think you two would get along nicely. Here, I’m going to call Lyra right now, and bring you to Bon Bon!”
Twilight’s horn lights up, presumably to use the UniPhone. I think that unicorns and alicorns have innate telepathic connections with each other. Somepony must have capitalized on this, and made a telecommunications network across Equestria for unicorns! That’s awesome! If my soul is linked to Starlight’s, maybe I can learn how to use it, too? Finally finishing her pensive communication with Lyra, Twilight smiles.
“Alright. Bon Bon will meet you at Sugarcube Corner in fifteen minutes. She’ll bring some documents with her about pony pedagogy, and you two can hit it off over coffee!” Twilight says, using magic to push my mother towards Starlight.
“I take it you want me to carry her there, Twilight?” Starlight asks her teacher. Twilight shakes her head no.
“I don’t need you to carry her there, Starlight. Just show her where it is. Noah, go with your pony paramour and your mom. I’ll watch over Rebecca and fill her in on what there is to do in Equestria. We need a “social media” influencer in our Friendship campaign on Earth. Using my executive authority as Princess of Friendship, I hereby appoint Rebecca as my communications director!”
My sister’s jaw drops, and she starts to laugh, probably out of shock.
“Twilight, you’re nuts! I don’t have that many followers on anything!” My sister says in denial before her phone starts pinging nonstop. She opens her phone, and sees that she now has millions of followers on her TikTok account! How in the name of anyone did my sister suddenly become one of the world’s most popular influencers? This is completely and utterly insane!
“Holy shit…how do I have so many followers?!” My sister cries, scrolling aimlessly on her phone, seeing all of the new accounts that are following her.
“Simple: I sent letters to your human governments. I gave them all the details about Noah and his family, and the human press must have caught on to my Friendship Program. I think that you’ll be good at this job!” Twilight says, casting a quick spell. This spell gives my sister a notebook and quill. She quickly grabs it, putting her phone back into her pocket.
Rebecca turns towards Trixie, wondering what to do next.
“What do you think I need to do, now?” She asks her new friend. Trixie’s horn lights up, and my sister is teleported onto the showpony’s back. Rebecca is startled by this sudden teleportation and quickly grabs Trixie’s reins to balance herself.
“Trixie thinks that we should have some fun first! The program doesn’t start for another few weeks, and the human students are only coming tomorrow. Here, Trixie will show you some magic! Maybe we can fuse souls, too? Wouldn’t you want to learn magic?” Trixie says, curiously. Rebecca quickly spurs Trixie, and the two of them gallop out of the castle, probably to the azure mare’s trailer.
Twilight and my mom both laugh. “My daughter is more of a rule follower than Noah, so this is a weird change of pace. I take it that you know Trixie?” My mother asks Twilight, as the Friendship monarch nods in affirmation.
“We have a complicated history, Noah’s mom. We used to be archrivals in magic, but now she’s Starlight’s Chief of Staff. She’s going to be just fine! Now, Bon Bon doesn’t like to be late for anything, so you three should get going to Sugarcube Corner! I’ll let Pinkie Pie know you three are on your way!” Twilight says, quickly teleporting away.
Well, time to go to Sugarcube Corner! Starlight looks at my mom and smiles.
“Are you sure you don’t want to ride your future daughter-in-law to Sugarcube Corner?” Starlight says, being both playful and deadly serious. My mother is stone-faced for a bit, before shaking her head.
“I get motion sickness, Starlight. It’s not about you. Go have fun with Noah. As long as you two don’t fly away, I don’t care.” My mom says, quite okay with my time spent with Starlight. I guess mom has been so desperate for me to make a friend that she is throwing all known caution to the wind!
Starlight puts a wing around my mother in solace. “It’s okay, Noah’s mom. I’m not upset. I love your son as much as you do. I won’t fly him there. I’ll trot next to you the whole time!” Starlight says, turning around to give me space to climb aboard. Quickly making my way atop Starlight, I shift myself comfortably in her seat. Starlight grins, knowing I am relaxed.
“Want to see how Noah made a good friend?” Starlight asks my mother. She nods, wondering what stunt we’re going to pull. Starlight turns her head towards me, giving me the “nod”. Might as well show Mom the little act the two of us developed over the past week.
Starlight stands still, and awaits my “instructions”.
I chuckle and give my mare a gentle pat on the neck; causing Starlight’s mane to shake in bliss.
“O Princess of Justice. As your rider, I beseech you to allow me to travel atop you for convenience and expedition.” I playfully recite in a more regal tone and dialect. My mom laughs, thinking this is a rather silly exercise.
“Noah, what is the point of that? Starlight already let you ride on her, so this is just hot air!” She says, not knowing the nuance and meaning behind this playful act. Starlight caught onto my drift because she put a lilac hoof on my mother’s shoulder.
“The point of this, Noah’s Mom, is to teach your son about manners, consent, and trust. I discovered the act of riding out of necessity when I had to come up with a way to bring a human across the quantum tunnel. This isn’t an act where one creature is master over the other, but it’s an act of cooperation and Friendship!”
Mom takes a minute to think about what Starlight just said, before realizing my marefriend made an excellent point. “That does make sense! Horses on Earth are not sentient, and you can’t ask them for a ride. You are not only a talking pony but a smart one, too! If you want to be friends with someone, you have to express what you want and need from them, rather than take it directly without consultation!” My mother deduces. Starlight and I both smile.
“Bingo, ma. You hit the nail on the head. Fused souls aside, Starlight and I still need to verbally communicate what we want from each other. For example, Starlight has tense muscles, so by riding her I actually soothe her body!” I say, gently tapping my mare’s sides. Starlight enters a slow trot, and my mother walks alongside her.
“We have to go down a few flights of stairs, and Sugarcube Corner isn’t far.” Starlight says, leading the way for our meeting with Bon Bon at Sugarcube Corner. I don’t know anything at all about pedagogy; let alone for differentiated learning. I think my mother’s meeting with Bon Bon will be a very important learning experience for everycreature .
***
“BON BON! YOU GOT A ROYAL EDICT EDICT FROM PRINCESS TWILIGHT! MEET STARLIGHT AT SUGARCUBE CORNER FOR A MEETING ABOUT YOUR SCHOOL! ” Lyra yells from the rafters of our flat. The acoustics in this place are too good, so my eardrums feel like bursting at this announcement.
“Lyra Heartstrings. What did I tell you about using the vocal augmentation spell in our home ?” I say, quite cross with my cohabitant. I don’t care that she’s a musician. I need proper volume control! This is my house, too!
“Sorry, Bon Bon. I know we’ve talked about this before, but the UniPhone distracted me from my harp practice. Go to Sugarcube Corner. I know you’re excited about helping those “special” humans. I don’t blame you. You’re the kindest pony I’ve ever met!” Lyra says, trotting down the stairs to talk to me muzzle to muzzle. She’s carrying her harp with her down the stairs using magic, so I only see half of Lyra’s beautiful green face.
“Why, thank you for the kind praise, Lyra. I’ll try not to be gone for too long. I left the broccoli casserole in the refrigerator for you. Don’t eat all of it! It’ll make you sick.” I remind Lyra. She chuckles.
“Yeah, yeah, Bon Bon. I know. Too much fiber is not good. Sweet talk coming from a candy pony.” She chortles, putting her harp down on our wooden floor; laying it against the window.
“This Candy Pony also has a BA and MA in education, as well as the Celestial Medal for Earth Pony Advancement!” I playfully retort, sticking my tongue out at Lyra. Yeah, we’re dating. This is a normal quarrel we have. The candy store is more of a side hustle, mainly because I liked sweets as a filly. I have my Cutie Mark for a reason. Collecting my saddlebag from the coat rack, I open the door, and wave goodbye to Lyra.“Come home soon, Bon Bon!” Lyra says, waving goodbye to me. I trot out the door, and Lyra uses magic to close it behind me.
Ever since my rather audacious outburst at Starlight’s coronation, I have been getting loads of support from ponies here in town. Apparently, the Ponyville populace is much more progressive in regards to same-sex pony couples than Canterlot. I got a free gallon of apple cider from Applejack, some donuts from Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy came over to make tea! Nopony in town stares at me anymore when I am trotting along; whether I am by myself or with Lyra. It’s funny, actually. I am usually the more reserved pony in the relationship, being quieter and more to myself; while Lyra is the extrovert and advocate. Perhaps meeting Noah and seeing how his “Asperger’s” gives him a different view on life showed me that I don’t have it that bad, after all?
Celestia’s sun is hiding today! It’s not raining, but the clouds are quite plentiful, and there is a peaceful haze across Ponyville. I’ve always dreaded this kind of weather. I know that the pegasi work really hard to arrange the clouds, but couldn’t they have given Ponyville one more sunny day? At least the winds are blowing in the direction of Sugarcube Corner! I get a slight boost in my canter from the wind! Actually, I arrived over two minutes faster than I would have normally, had there not been any wind at all!
Finally approaching the pink door of the bakery, I push the door inward, opening it. Looking around, I see that Starlight, Noah, and some other human are sitting at a table, where Mrs. Cake is taking their orders already. Starlight spots me, and waves. “Hi, Bon Bon! You came just on time; we actually came a bit early. Don’t feel bad!” She says, inviting me to join them at the table. I trot over carefully, and I drag an extra chair to the table. Sitting down, Mrs. Cake waves at me, and smiles.
“Long time, no see, Bon Bon! What would you like to have today?” The co-owner asks me, with her usual wholesome smile on her face.
“Just a coffee today, Mrs. Cake. Grande almond latte, two sugars; the usual, please!” I ask. I am not that hungry, but a pony could always go for a fresh coffee in the late morning! I am already out of mojo for today, and it’s only 11:30! I quickly remember that I have my saddlebag attached to me, and I remove it, placing the lime green polyester bag on the table. The second human, who I assume to be Noah’s mother, opens the bag and takes out my binder.
Starlight interrupts the woman and uses magic to alert us of something else.
“You two haven’t formally met yet! Bon Bon, meet Noah’s Mom. Noah’s Mom, Bon Bon. Shake!” She asks. I let out my front hoof, and Noah’s mother took out her hand. We shake, becoming formally acquainted. I quickly push the binder towards Noah’s mother, and she looks at it carefully.
“What’s in here, Bon Bon?” The woman asks me. I don’t know how much this other teacher knows, but I am not going to assume she’s a foal in matters of education!
“I had Lyra cast the Universal Translation Spell on this, so you can read it. It’s just some notes on pony pedagogy that I used when I was a student teacher for Cheerilee.” I replied. It’s actually been a few years since I’ve been a student teacher, so for all I know, this data could be years out of date! Buck, it’s from before the Elements were formed!
Starlight casts another spell, duplicating the binder, and she quickly combs through her copy with the help of her rider. I actually forgot that Noah knows magic since he fused souls with Starlight Glimmer.
“Hm, this actually makes a lot of sense, Bon Bon.” Starlight says, pointing her hoof towards a section on page 24 of my booklet. This section talks about coming up with an “IEP”, or Individualized Education Plan. While Special Education in Equestria is not as accessible as it should be, they did have a specialized resource room at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. They had everything there! Readers for exams, scribes for ponies who had trouble writing, extra time for anxious ponies, you want it, they had it! I took scrupulous notes on all of the accommodations there, and Starlight seems pleased with my findings.
Noah’s mother is also quite happy with these findings. She turns her copy around and points to a section on page 33; which discusses the role of the school administrator in equitably finalizing grades.
“Honestly, Bon Bon, Equestria is more modern on special education than the schools on Earth! I had to fight tooth and nail to get these accommodations for Noah in high school, to the point that I had to sue!”
Noah blushes and nudges his mother. “Ma, not now. You tell me I share too much personal information. Shouldn’t you teach by example?” He asks her. Starlight laughs at the comment, as Mrs. Cake comes back with my coffee and a few assorted treats for everycreature else. She places it on the table and smiles.
“Enjoy, every…uh, there aren’t just ponies here. What is the proper term? I don’t want to be rude!” Mrs. Cake asks. Starlight raises her hoof and answers the baker’s question.
“On Earth, it’s everyone, but Twilight coined the term “everycreature ” a few weeks ago when drafting resolutions for the Friendship School’s other nonpony students.” Starlight says, answering Mrs. Cake’s question. “Right, everycreature . That makes sense. Anyways, enjoy your sugary treats!” She says, before trotting off to the kitchen.
Noah and Starlight split their vanilla glazed donut in half, and each begin to slowly nibble at the delectable treat. I like their approach! They should savor the sugar, rather than snarf it down all at once! Noah’s mom didn’t order anything. I look at her confused before she says “I’m on a diet. I’ve lost five kilograms already!” Good for her! I’ve been trying to do the same, but my results are lackluster, at best. I’m not a fat mare, mind you! I just have maybe two kilograms of extra pony that I need to shed!
Finally getting to the topic at hoof, Noah’s mom taps me on the hoof, curious about some other Equestrian teaching methods. “I only have one question, Bon Bon. What do you know about working directly with neurodiverse students? It’s not just working with kids on the autism spectrum. Neurodiversity is anyone who learns in an “atypical” manner!” She asks me. To be totally honest, I’ve done most of my on-hooves work with neurotypical ponies, but I think I know enough to proceed.
“I know a bit, Noah’s mom. My marefriend, Lyra, has ADHD. She's very hyper, and loses focus on things as easily as she focuses on them!” I chuckle at the thought. Noah’s Mom smiles, before continuing.
“I feel bad for you, Bon Bon. You’re a nice mare, and you must get a lot of nasty comments from your peers about your private life. Rest assured that I am fully behind you!” Noah’s Mom says, hiding a smile. Starlight and Noah are glad that the rider’s mother is such a kind, human woman. I am taking a liking to her!
“Right, we got on a slight tangent. To answer your question, I know a bit about ADHD, since I live with somepony who has it. As for autism, I don’t know a lot, but I know that Twilight, Maud, and your son have it. Anxiety is a no-brainer since almost everypony has it! What other conditions are there that I need to be aware of?” I asked his mother.
Starlight and Noah are talking about something else, and I am not really paying attention to them. It’s probably stupid lover’s stuff, anyway! I am not a romantic, so I couldn’t care less! I overheard the phrase “Friendship School”, so I take it they’re still somewhat on topic?
“Well, I wrote my Ph.D. dissertation on selective mutism. Those poor children are too stressed to even speak. They are often the most lonely children. If you don’t intervene in this condition as soon as possible, it becomes very hard to remediate. The disorder is mostly based on serious anxiety, so you need to proceed with caution, Bon Bon.” Noah’s mom says, reassuring me.
“I think you’ll do great, Bon Bon.” Starlight and Noah say in unison. Noah’s Mom smiles, and I notice that everycreature here finished their snack. I finished my coffee, too! As much as I want to talk about teaching with Noah’s Mom, I have a much more important question to ask her!
“Uhh, Noah’s Mom, I have a question,” I ask the human woman. Mrs. Cake comes back with the bill, and Starlight shows a pass with Twilight’s Cutie Mark on it. Mrs. Cake nods and walks away.
“Royal Tab. I’ll get my own set up soon enough. It’s like a credit card, but better!” Starlight says, before letting me continue with my question. “Sure, Bon Bon. What’s the question?” She replies, eager to hear what I have to say.
“Well, ever since Noah came to Equestria, I’ve been desperate to have a “rider”. Since we’re both teachers, maybe I can, well, be your steed, just one time? I want to try it! Starlight looks like she has fun with your son!” I say, blushing at the thought.
Noah’s Mom chuckles, before breaking out into a full belly laugh. “Oh, Bon Bon! Never in my life would I imagine a pony asking me to ride on their back! I have a poor stomach, and basically, anything gives me motion sickness. If you promise to trot slowly and not gallop like a crazy pony, I’ll be more than happy to help you out with your curious interest.” She replies. Noah and Starlight both get up from their seats, and Noah mounts his marefriend, her mane shaking in bliss at his presence.
“Say the word, Noah’s Mom, and I’ll equip Bon Bon with a saddle and bridle. You don’t have to if you don’t want to! Consent is key to everything!” She chuckles. Noah’s Mom nods, and Starlight’s horn lights up. I feel a new piece of clothing on me, which I assume is a saddle. A yellow and black bridle is then conjured onto the table, and Noah’s Mom takes it into her hands.
“I don’t know how to put this thing on you, Bon Bon.” Noah’s mom says, chuckling. Starlight and Noah both activate their magic, and they help Noah’s Mom equip my bridle. I open my mouth, a bit nervous. I bite the cold metallic bit, and feel the straps wrap around my muzzle. I thought it would hurt, but it actually feels like a facial massage!
“I think I can do this!” I say. I turn around and allow for Noah’s Mom to climb aboard. I feel the cool touch of the woman’s hands on my neck, and she gently climbs onto my back. Again, I thought it would hurt more, but again, it feels therapeutic.
Starlight grins, happy that another pony seems to be enjoying the “magic of riding”. “Noah’s Mom. Don’t steer Bon Bon the first time. Bon Bon, go home, and I’ll take Noah to Twilight’s castle. We'll reconvene for supper at the Castle of Friendship, collecting all of our new data!” Starlight says, as she opens the door of the bakery with her magic. Noah flicks his mare’s bridle, and the alicorn takes off!
I feel Noah’s mom shudder on my back. “I am sure glad you’re a, what’s your pony race called?” She asks me.
“Earth Pony,” I replied.
“Right! I am glad you are an Earth Pony, so I am stuck on the ground. I am afraid of heights! Oh, you can go now. Remember: Slow and steady wins the race!” She says. I will try and accommodate my rider the best I can. I trot towards the door, and use my front hoof to open it. Finally exiting Sugarcube Corner, I go into a steady trot, with Noah’s mother looking around at the sights of Ponyville.
Well, I have a rider who’s also a teacher, and I am really excited to see where this School of Friendship goes! I think our new, multispecies team can really do something good for everycreature ! Friendship is really important!
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 18: A Friendship Broadcast!
I found that coffee with Bon Bon was quite productive. We discussed many different topics relating to education, pedagogy, and Friendship. I think I am more knowledgeable now in all of these fields. More importantly, my rider is having fun flying home with me! Even though the weather is hazy and gross, I feel calm and at ease, knowing that Noah is on my back. Every now and then, I nudge him with my wing, just to make sure he’s still paying attention to the skies. I don’t want him to steer me into a rock by accident! I think I have an idea of what we should do next.
My plan is to learn how to use Earth’s “social media” to advertise our School of Friendship to a wider audience. While Princess Twilight did send out official statements to human governments, we still need to reach out to the common folk! How else are we going to admit students to our school? I don’t know how to use any human technology, but I have a feeling my student and rider might know a thing or two. I might as well just ask him?
“So, Noah. Rebecca and Trixie are working on communications with Princess Twilight, and your mom and Bon Bon are working on pedagogy. Maybe you can teach me how to use some human technology so we can do some public relations on Earth?” I ask my rider, who takes a minute to think about my question.
“That sounds like something my sister would be good at, Glimmy. I am not a PR person, but I guess I might need to learn how to be one if I am your Rider of Justice!” He promptly replies. Noah has a good point. He’s rather monotone and boring when it comes to speaking to creatures; although he’s less so when talking to me.
“You don’t have to do all the talking, Noah. Just set up a magical broadcast through the Mirror’s frequencies, and I’ll give my pitch to your planet! We need to pick the best and brightest students to teach Friendship to!” I kindly remind him, banking slightly to the left. We’re approaching Twilight’s castle, and I see a mulberry beacon of magic alit in front of me. I guess Twilight’s been helpful since the fog is very thick and palpable today?
“Over here, Starlight. Land on my perch, don’t crash into the crystal walls!” Twilight shouts, using a vocal augmentation spell to make her voice heard some few hundred meters away. Noah taps my sides, and I begin my descent. I have to say, in only a week I am quite pleased with how much chemistry I’ve built with the human. I know that we’re fused permanently now, but it’s good to see that it’s not just our souls that match, but our minds. I was going to descend, just as he steered me!
“So, Starlight. What would you like to discuss on your Friendship Broadcast to Earth?” my rider asks me. I nudged him with my left wing, urging him to be quiet for a moment. “I don’t want to botch the landing, sweetheart. Let your steed land on the castle, and then we can chat. The last thing I want is for the two of us to faceplant into pure crystal walls!” That promptly shut my rider up!
I still think that I need to learn how to fly properly. Flattening out my wings with only a few meters left, I light up my landing spot with magic; piercing the thick fog over Equestria. Twilight waves her front hooves, giving us further directions to land. I finally make contact with the castle’s perch, and Noah and I both sigh. My rider pets my neck affectionately with praise.
“Good landing, Starlight! You’re awesome!” He says, thanking me for carrying him home. Noah takes a minute to adjust my saddlebag before dismounting. He noticed my primary feathers were stuck in the clips! That’s not good. I could have hurt myself like that!
“Good catch, Noah!” I say, patting my rider on the head with my front hoof, now that he’s on solid ground. Noah takes an extra minute to remove and safely store my bridle, putting it into my saddlebag.
“What do you want me to do with the saddle?” Noah asks me, unsure of where to store it. My horn flashes and the saddle disappears!
“I just zapped it to our apartment in Ponyville, Noah. Now, the two of us need to follow the Friendship Pony. I am sure Twilight has plenty of information to share with us, now that we’re back!” I say, Twilight leading the way towards the Cutie Map room. Noah and I walk together, while Twilight smiles at us.
Oh, thank Celestia! The fog was really starting to grind at my nerves! Now my visibility is much better, and I don’t have to worry about two creatures’ safety anymore! Twilight smiles at me, clearly pleased about something that she did while I took my rider out at Sugarcube Corner. Finally making our way back to the room with the Cutie Map, we each sit down on one of the stone thrones. Noah and I obviously sit next to each other, while Twilight sits in the chief position, matching her Element of Magic!
“You really like him, don’t you?” She coos, smiling at the fact her first student made a friend.
“Yeah, I do. He’s a keeper.” I chortle. Twilight quickly snaps out of it, tapping her hoof on the table.
“Okay, playtime’s over. We need full Princess of Justice attention right now. Let’s get started!” She exclaims, bringing our meeting to order. I notice that Twilight is pleased about something, so I ask her what’s up.
“So, Princess Twilight. You seem happy about something. What fun magical thing did you come up with while I was out on Princess duties?” I ask my teacher. She chuckles, before casting a spell putting a notebook into my rider’s hands.
“Noah, open his notebook to page 10. I think you’ll like what your sister and Trixie came up with for a speech!” She says. Noah manually opens the notebook, while the pages translate into his human language. To be honest, I am surprised the magic still does that for him. You’d think a wunderkind like Noah would have picked up Common Ponish by now? Maybe oral language and literacy are different?
Looking at the tenth page, my student carefully scrutinizes the contents, before handing me the notebook, with a wide grin on his face.
“I guess Trixie is a Great and Powerful Writer, too! Not just a showpony!” He chortles. Now, it’s my turn to look at what they came up with!
***
I have a secret. I’ve always liked horses as a little girl. I’ve wanted to have a pet pony since I was maybe four or five years old, and I loved going to the farm in the country during the summer! Mom told me that I should grow out of it around the time I was eight or nine, but I’ve always still enjoyed reading about them! I think it’s because I am an animal person, or maybe because focusing on something that’s not my pain-in-the-neck brother puts me at ease?
This equine fascination of mine as a youngster makes my current situation all the more amusing. I am in a world inhabited by sentient horses. Some of them can fly, some of them can cast magic, and I am riding a unicorn! She’s a bit of an extrovert, but I think her heart is in the right place. She’s full of energy, that’s for sure!
“Trixie is having so much fun with you as her rider! Can she do this again sometime?” The blue magician pony asks me, as we finally make our way to a medium-sized trailer. This trailer looks like something that a circus performer would use to store their wares before an act. Does Trixie live here?
“I don’t see why not. I find you to be quite fun to be around!” I reply, making the unicorn turn her head back towards me with a smile.
“Thank you so much, Rebecca! Trixie enjoys spending time with you. Now, hop off her Great and Powerful back, and show me your “social media” talents!” Trixie kindly asks me. Once the unicorn came to a complete stop, I lifted my left foot over Trixie’s saddle, and carefully climbed down. The unicorn sighs once I am on the ground, and she stands still like a dope, waiting for something.
“Can, can you help Trixie remove her bridle? She doesn’t have opposable hooves!” The unicorn asks me. I am really a dope! I forgot to help her with that. I assist the unicorn in removing her bridle, but she’s a bit tense in the jaw.
“I need you to open your mouth, Trixie. I can’t take the bit out if you’re clenching your teeth.” I remind her, as the unicorn finally lets go of the bit. It’s all covered in unicorn saliva! Gross! I drop it on the floor mat of the trailer, wincing at the slimy substance I was unfortunate enough to have touched.
Trixie looks at me and laughs. “Silly human girl! Trixie should have warned you she has a lot of spittle. It’s no big deal. Trixie has a sink in her trailer. You can go wash up inside!” She says. Her horn lights up, and the purple wooden door of the trailer opens, thanks to the use of magic. I still need to wrap my human head around how much power these ponies have. Noah and I are very lucky that Equestria is a benevolent civilization that seeks to aid others. Imagine what calamities could be brought to other worlds if these ponies were evil!
I let the blue unicorn enter the trailer first before I come inside. The door automatically closes behind me. I have to be honest, the trailer is a complete mess! There are scrolls, books, and objects thrown around the trailer, and I have trouble even walking through. This place is a sty! Hell, even my older brother’s room is tidier than this, and he’s not good at cleaning! I keep my thoughts to myself, as Trixie sits on the pink sofa opposite the window.
“Sit, Rebecca. Trixie can give you writing advice while we relax! If you want a snack, Trixie has chocolate chip cookies !”
Chocolate chip cookies? MMM! I love cookies! I carefully make my way across the messy living room towards the sofa, sitting down next to the unicorn mare. I remember that Twilight gave me a notebook and a pen, and I quickly took it out of my sweater pocket. With a flash of her horn, two rather large chocolate chip cookies levitate across the trailer from the kitchenette, floating in front of us. I had to do a double-take for a second, wondering if there were hidden strings or anything! It’s awesome!
“Take a cookie, Rebecca. Trixie is happy to share! They are nut-free! Trixie is allergic to tree nuts, so she’s VERY careful about what baked goods she makes and buys.” The showpony says, grabbing the left cookie with her front hooves. She slowly nibbles away at it, while I grab the remaining cookie. Trixie’s horn deactivates, and the cookie feels a bit heavier. I guess the spell made the cookies float in the air?
“It’s funny, actually. Noah has a tree nut allergy, too!” I say, cautiously taking a bite of the pony’s cookie. It’s…it’s amazing! So chocolatey, with the right balance of chewy and crunchy! My mouth is flooded with cookie flavors, and Trixie looks at me with a genial smile.
“Trixie is glad you like her cookies. She made them herself!” Once Trixie finishes her cookie, she grabs my notebook and pen with her hooves and starts scribbling away.
“Give Trixie the first draft of this address, and you can proofread! Trixie can be a Great and Powerful writer, too!” She says, her horn making the pen write away at a ludicrous pace. I see line after line of text being written at breakneck speed, and I am truly astonished! I can write a good essay in school, but not that fast! I don’t think it took more than ninety seconds for Trixie to finish before she handed me back the notebook! Ponies are crazy!
“Here you go, Communications Director. Look it over, and tell Trixie what you think!” She says as I receive the aforementioned notebook.
I look at the first line, and I can’t read it! Quickly scanning the rest of what she wrote, everything is in an illegible script, and I can’t even begin to decipher what Trixie was trying to convey! I guess this is a good time to learn that ponies have a written language! The real question is: can Trixie translate this into English? I saw Starlight cast a spell earlier when she was with my brother, and the pages turned into English in an instant.
“Trixie, I am sure you did great with your speech, but…It’s not in English!” I say, trying to hide a playful chuckle. Trixie’s maw drops, and she quickly grabs the green notebook back into her hooves.
“Trixie is so sorry for forgetting to cast the Universal Translation Spell, Rebecca. Give Trixie ten seconds! ” Her horn flashes violently blue, and the notebook begins to levitate in the air. I see the words she wrote literally lift off the page, and begin to transform. Slowly but surely, I see the illegible script changing into Latin characters, and I spot a few English words here and there. The words return to their rightful place on the notebook’s pages, and it gently floats into my hands.
“There you go! One Universal Translation Spell, free of charge!” Trixie says, laughing at herself. I quickly comb through the speech a second time, and I am relieved to see English words and phrases grace my eyesight. I take a few quick minutes to go over everything, writing little footnotes and annotations where things needed to be fixed, and I return the notebook to Trixie.
“You did a pretty good job with that address, but I am not sure humans will know what a “Cutie Map” is. I replaced that term with “magical technology.” There were a few spelling mistakes and whatnot, but you’re a pretty solid writer! I should know, I have a 4.0 GPA!” I say, giving off a small “humblebrag”. Trixie looks over my corrections, and she smiles.
“Good job, Rebecca! Trixie needs to UniPhone this data to Twilight ASAP, and then we’ll ride over there for the broadcast!” Trixie says, quickly lighting up her horn once more. I don’t know what a UniPhone is, but I can infer that it’s probably something along the lines of a phone/fax system that unicorns can use to relay calls and data? Trixie’s blue horn begins to flash in short and long sequences, kind of like Morse Code, but for ponies. She does this for some five minutes or so before her horn goes dormant.
“Ta-da! Trixie sent your Great and Powerful Address to the Castle of Friendship. Saddle Trixie up again, Rebecca, we need to audit a speech!” Trixie says, quickly jumping up from her spot on the sofa, and using magic to gravitate her saddle and bridle closer to us.
“Trixie can put the saddle on, you just need to wait until Trixie’s maw is ready to open. Got it?” She says, fumbling with the saddle’s straps. Once she is all said and done with that. I carefully examine Trixie’s bridle. I am quite pleased that it’s no longer covered in slobber, so it’s not gross to touch. Trixie opens her mouth, and I slowly but surely put the bit inside, making sure the unicorn is not in any pain while I am doing so.
A good minute or so later, she’s all set to go! I get up from the sofa, and the two of us walk towards the door of the trailer. I was moments away from climbing aboard the magician pony, but she gave me a hug, instead! I am a bit startled by this, and I wonder what’s gotten into her Great and Powerful Mind?
“Trixie is very happy to have you, Rebecca. Before Noah came, Trixie’s only Friend was Starlight Glimmer, and even then, we didn’t get along that well. Now, she has you, her “rider” to keep Trixie company! Thank you, so much! ”
Maybe spending so much time with my special-needs brother made me more empathetic? I tend to gravitate towards things that can help others, so entertaining an egotistical, third-person speaking pony is child’s play!
“No problem, Trixie. I don’t know where this Castle of Friendship is, so I am trusting you to take us both there. Got it?” I ask. Trixie lets go from her hut and playfully salutes me with her front right hoof.
“Yes, ma’am! Hop on! The Trixie Express will take you to see your brother and his friends!” She says, giving me ample space to mount the pony. Gently placing my hands on her cerulean saddle, I put my right foot into her stirrup and hoist myself up onto the unicorn. It’s quite convenient that all of the ponies I’ve met so far are as tall as horses, if not a wee bit taller! Trixie’s as tall as the Clydesdale horse I used to ride as a little girl!
Trixie casts another spell, placing the reins in my hands, as she opens the door with her front hoof and slowly trots outside. It’s still quite foggy.
“Want to see something cool, “rider?” Trixie asks me, her head cocked backward to see my reaction. I nod, and her horn flashes incredibly bright, but thankfully not enough to blind me!
“Unicorn Beacon! Cuts through the fog like cake! Isn’t that cool?” She chuckles, happy to see her magic tricks are making me happy. I nod, and firmly spur Trixie, quite eager to go.
“Indeed, it is cool, HYAH! Let’s go, girl!”
Trixie wasn’t expecting that, but she gave me a smile at the playful command. “Ooh, do that again! Trixie likes a massage, but not now. Let’s go!”
I flick the bridle, and the two of us gallop off rather quickly towards Twilight’s Friendship Castle. I wonder what my brother and Starlight are up to right now?
***
I am horrible at writing a speech. I actually didn’t know that my sister could write a speech! It’s really good, like, really good! Starlight and I are both extremely impressed, and even Twilight likes it.
“I know you’ve said before that humans are not the smartest creatures, Noah, but your sister can write!” Twilight says, quickly scanning over the speech one more time.
“Yeah, she can; but that doesn’t answer the question of how exactly we’re going to broadcast a speech across multiple worlds?! I ask, not sure how this feat can even be possible, magic or otherwise. Twilight sticks her tongue out at me and smiles.
“Why do you think I’m here, dingus? This is my cup of tea!” Twilight says, quickly dragging the Mirror Portal over towards the table with her magical grasp. Casting yet another spell, some of the pink magic from the mirror is then shunted inside my sister’s phone, which she left here by mistake. A new app appears on it, with Twilight’s Cutie Mark as the icon.
“You can broadcast the speech on this phone, and it will send across the mirror with my magic enhancing the technology. Just wait for your sister and Trixie to come back, because I am going to need somecreature to help me with my press stuff once this is all sorted out.” Twilight says, quickly going over her section of the speech, before giving the notebook back to Starlight.
“This is your event, Glimmer, don’t buck it up!” Twilight says, quite nervous about the broadcast that is to come. Starlight and I get up from our chairs, and I could have sworn that I saw a beacon of blue light piercing through the fog outside the window.
“Starlight. Do you see that?” I ask my marefriend, who quickly trots over to the window. She looks at the beacon and points.
“It’s your sister riding Trixie! They’re back for the broadcast! I wonder what took them so long!” Starlight says, as she quickly flies over to Twilight, alerting her of the showmare’s imminent arrival.
“Sweet Celestia! They’re back already! GUARDS! OPEN THE DRAWBRIDGE! TRIXIE IS ALLOWED IN WITH HER RIDER. THIS IS AN ORDER!” Twilight screams from the rafters, as a pegasus guard who’s standing at the edge of the room salutes the monarch, before flying off towards the sentrypony.
“They’re new. Don’t be mad at them. I tried to give everypony who wanted a job here a spot.” Twilight blushed. I hear the grinding of gears, and I assume that’s the drawbridge coming down.
Starlight looks at me and gives me a big kiss on the lips. “We’re here today because of you, stud. You know that, right? We wouldn’t have even gotten a School of Friendship had you not shown your willingness to push past your differences to be a kind human.” She goes in for the hug, wings embracing me. Just to make things even better , this is the exact moment Trixie and my sister arrive in the room with the Cutie Map and my sister gags; quite loudly at that.
“Ew. Kissing a horse. Do that when I’m not watching.” She says, petting Trixie with affection. The showmare seems to like this, and she’s shaking her mane in bliss.
“Ahh, you’re nice, Rebecca” Trixie mewls, as Starlight finally lets go of me. She casts a quick spell, and hands my sister’s phone back to her.
“Twilight cast a spell on this thing, making it possible to broadcast across both worlds. Look for the app with Twilight’s Cutie Mark!” Starlight says, pointing towards her own butt, reminding Rebecca what a Cutie Mark is.
“Right, on it!” She says, quickly loading up the app, prepping the camera for the speech that is moments away.
I am quite happy that I don’t have a role in this address. I’ve always hated public speaking because I always have to read the audience. Whenever I have to say something, it sounds like I am reading from a teleprompter, rather than giving a proper address. It’s totally unprofessional! Twilight goes over her notes one more time, before trotting over to us.
“Okay. Here’s what I want everycreature to do. Noah, sit tight and make sure you don’t say anything stupid. Wave for the camera when I give you the cue, but that’s it. You gave your speech already, this is about Public Relations. I’ll go first, introducing ponykind to humanity, and then your lovely marefriend will divulge the lovely details regarding the School of Friendship. Trixie and your sister will be on standby for transcribing. Got it?” Twilight says, trotting over in front of the Mirror Portal. She takes a deep breath, a bit nervous to present her case to humanity.
Meanwhile, my sister takes out her phone and opens the new, magically enhanced application that Twilight installed for her. She scrolls on her phone for a bit, learning how to use the app, and quickly learns how to use it.
“Ready when you are, Twilight!” My sister says, quite excited to be a part of both human and pony history. I don’t blame her. This is the first official broadcast from an alien race to Earth, and they aren’t invading! Starlight gives me another kiss on the cheek, whispering “wish me luck!” into my ear. I scratch my mare behind the ear, encouraging her and calming Starlight down. She slowly walks towards Twilight, who then lights up her horn.
“Everypony, this is the first live broadcast to an alien civilization in both of our race’s histories. I trust everycreature here will treat this auspicious event with the awe and reverence that it deserves. We’re going to bring Friendship, Equestria-style, to Earth! Rebecca, are you ready to film?” Twilight says, excited the most out of all of us; my marefriend being a close second. This is her first real Princess of Justice gig, after all!
My sister nods, giving Twilight a thumbs up.
“Rolling in three, two, one!”
Rebecca taps “record” on her phone, and the phone begins to levitate in the air, thanks to the magical enhancements! Twilight and Starlight look quite regal standing in front of the Mirror Portal, and it reminds me a bit of when the President of the United States gives an address in front of the Oval Office. Quite an auspicious event, indeed!
Clearing her throat, Twilight begins: “Hello everycreature on Earth! My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle. I’m the Princess of Friendship. On my left is my fellow Princess Starlight Glimmer, who’s the Princess of Justice. Today we’re going to tell you how we’re going to bring Friendship into your lives!”
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 20: Teacher's Tea Time
I could have sworn that I saw Princess Starlight and her student, along with Twilight and another human, flying overhead. I don’t really know for sure, but I did see two streaks of purple in the heavens. I am trotting very carefully, per my rider’s request of maintaining a slow and steady pace. I’ve thought about this before, but I can see why Starlight enjoys this activity. Besides soothing my muscles, spending time with another creature and learning how to cooperate with one is a learning experience!
Noah’s mother is looking around at the sights of Ponyville, curious about what other points of interest there are. She doesn’t really ask me anything, since she’s mostly taking it all in, but if she changes her mind, I’ll be more than happy to fill her in on what we have to offer. I think we left Sugarcube Corner some ten minutes ago, and my flat is another few minutes away. I wonder if Lyra would mind that I brought home a human for a visit! She’s a nice mare, but she’s not very big on trying new things. I can understand that, but we’re in a new age, now!
Those final few minutes of silence have passed, and I see my apartment in front of me. I sigh, glad that I’m back home, and that the weather cleared up since I left. I turn my head back towards my alien passenger, just to check in on her.
“Noah’s Mom. We’re home. I think this is where your free ride ends. Do you need me to sit down so you can get off, or are you nimble enough to dismount yourself?” I ask her. She takes a minute to think about my question, before nodding.
“I think I can handle getting off on my own. I am forty-five years old, but I am not losing my agility just yet!” She says, slowly but surely moving one of her legs around my body, and carefully climbing down off my back. Remembering that I have a bridle in my mouth, she walks in front of me and gently removes the pieces, and puts them into my saddlebag.
“There you go, Bon Bon! All of your stuff is gone. You said you can handle removing your own saddle, so I didn’t bother taking that off. I hope you don’t mind!” She says. I smile at her, and that reassures the human woman that she was in the right. Her intentions were kind and noble, so I am not upset if she forgot to do something, intentionally or by mistake. I trot forward towards the front door of my apartment, and I knock; Noah’s mom at my side, wondering who’s going to answer.
“Who’s at home, Bon Bon? Is it your friend?” She asks me, unsure of what she’s going to see next. I nod my head and reply. “Yeah, Lyra’s home; at least I think she is!” Affirming my suspicion, the yellow door becomes enveloped in lime green magic, and it slowly opens, revealing my marefriend Lyra!
“Hey, Bon Bon! Long time no see! Is that the human woman you said you’d bring back?” She says, making way for us to enter the apartment. Noah’s mother takes off her shoes and leaves them at the front of the apartment, and she hangs up her coat rather neatly on the saddlerack.
Noah’s mother looks around at our rather quaint living room, and she cracks a smile. “You two seem to know how to build a home. I love the fireplace you have set up in the center of the apartment! I hope one of you knows how to make hot cocoa when the days get colder!” She chuckles, as Lyra is fidgeting in place.
“Don’t ask me, ma’am. Ask Bon Bon. She’s the epicurean specialist. I just make music and bug her unintentionally.” Lyra says, her horn quickly lighting up with magic.
“One minute, Bon Bon, UniPhone. It’s Trixie.” My marefriend says, quickly teleporting away to somewhere quieter. If Trixie is calling her, then it must be something about the school of Friendship! I am surprised that the showmare found herself in such a steady position in the government! I am proud of her. In the meantime, I need to be a good hostpony, so I look at my fellow teacher and ask her what she’d like to do.
“Lyra is a chatterbox. She’ll be on the UniPhone for a while. Is there anything I can get you to drink? You didn’t have anything a Sugarcube Corner, and I assume humans need food and water like ponies! You’re not my prisoner!” I chuckle. Noah’s mom takes a minute to think about my request, before seemingly coming up with a response.
“Do you have tea, Bon Bon? I like to drink tea, and maybe I can tell you a bit more about the students that I work with.” She asks me curiously.
I smile at the human woman and beckon her with my hoof to follow me. She does so, and we walk around the apartment into the kitchenette, where I have a secret stash of teabags! I open the drawer hiding the tea, and I reveal an assortment of flavors! You imagine the flavor, I have it! It’s Lyra’s guilty pleasure. She loves tea, so I always have a few dozen teabags on my pony at all times! Being kind pays off!
“Ooh! I see you have chamomile, do you mind if I have some?” Noah’s mother asks me. I nod, and carefully select one teabag of chamomile tea. I fumble a bit with my hooves to take it out since you have to pull the packets out manually if you’re an Earth Pony. Noah’s mother sees this and uses her nimble little “fingers” to assist me.
I am taken aback by the woman’s kindness, and I smile at her.
“Thank you, Noah’s mom. I really appreciate it!” I say in gratitude, quickly taking out a second bag of chamomile tea. I trot over to my cupboard, and open the door, revealing some teacups.
“The hot water dispenser is the tiny dial next to the sink. You can pick any teacup you want!” I tell Noah’s mom. She walks over next to me and takes out a white porcelain teacup. Slowly walking towards the sink, she places her cup underneath the water dispenser and activates it with her free hand. Once she’s collected her water, she returns to the island in the kitchenette and places the cup on the marble.
“Wait for me before you start sipping away!” I chuckle, quickly repeating the process my new human acquaintance performed so eloquently. Once I am finished with that, the two of us take out teacups back towards the living room, and we sit on the sofa, one cushion apart from each other, so we can look at each other while we drink tea and talk.
Noah’s mother sips the tea and is quite happy with the flavor she selected! While I like all teas, chamomile happens to be one of my favorites, although Lyra won’t drink anything that doesn’t have sugar!
“You honestly drink tea better than Rarity, Noah’s mom; and that’s saying something!” I compliment her. She puts her cup down and looks at me in confusion.
“Who’s Rarity, Bon Bon?” She asks me, unsure of who exactly I am referring to. That’s right! She’s a human who’s never met ponies before. Of course, she wouldn’t know who Rarity is. I am so silly for assuming she does!
“My apologies, dear. Rarity is a unicorn pony who runs a boutique clothing store in Ponyville, and she’s well known for her eloquence and poise. I forgot you’re not from here, but the comparison would have made sense to anypony else.” I chuckle, a bit embarrassed.
“You think that’s a problem? Noah makes references to things I’ve never even conceived of! I don’t know anything about politics, and that’s all the boy talks about! Comparing me to a pony is the least of my worries!”
Well, that makes me feel better. Now, I am quite intrigued to hear about how exactly special education, or even education in general, works on Noah’s planet. While I presume his mother is quite knowledgeable in her field, I am not going to assume that she is the foremost authority on differentiated learning or even basic pedagogy! I just want to know what she thinks, and maybe her ideas could be implemented in Twilight’s school.
“So, Noah’s mom. I have a question for you. Is that alright?”
She nods and gives me her undivided attention. Oh, what I would do to get that from Lyra! She’s always focusing on something else, even when she’s trying to pay attention to me. It doesn’t matter, I love her for who she is!
“Ask away, Bon Bon. You seem like a sensible person, er, a sensible pony, so I think your question will be quite poignant!”
I like this woman. I like her a lot. She is very pragmatic, and even a bit blasé! Maybe Lyra can learn a thing or two from her! Wait, that’s not the point. The question. I need to ask the question!
“Right. My question is this. Can you tell me a bit about some of your students? I assume you have some level of confidentiality in your work, so you don’t have to disclose any names or personal details. I just want to know what your teaching style is, and whether Equestria could use some of it!” I think this is a perfectly fair question to ask. I hope the human in front of me agrees!
“Well, I won’t go into any personal details, as you said, but I can tell you about one of my more inspiring students. Will that be alright with you?” She asks me, just to ensure that we’re both on the same page. I nod and urge her to continue with her tale.
“She’s the sweetest little girl of thirteen years. She looks, acts, and behaves like any other young woman her age. She’s kind, bubbly, and sociable. However, when you look at her IEP, you start to see some troublesome things. She’s not cognitively delayed, but she has a few learning challenges. Have you ever heard of verbal dyspraxia before, Bon Bon?”
I’m sorry, verbal what now? I’ve never heard of such a term before in my life! Heck, I’ve listened to Princess Luna give an address in Ancient Ponish, and even that made more sense to me. Noah’s mother sees my confused and startled muzzle and tries to come up with a different way of explaining it to me.
“Maybe you haven’t discovered it yet?” My fellow teacher says, taking another sip of her tea. Putting the mug down, she seems to have come up with a way to explain this condition to me.
“Put simply, Bon Bon, dyspraxia is a family of conditions that affect coordination and movement. Sometimes, this can cause a person to have poor balance, hearing, etc, but in verbal dyspraxia, the issue is with diction, sound-making, and intonation in speech. More often than not, it’s also tied in with dyslexia , which is a disorder that makes it harder for humans to read.”
I’ve heard of dyslexia before, and I’ve had some firsthoof experience teaching with students who have it! I had to tutor Scootaloo a few times for primary school, and the poor pegasus filly can’t read. She’s thirteen now, and barely reads like a first-grade foal! I really feel bad for the poor filly. I think she has a new tutor now, but I am not sure, I really need to check in on her.
“This student of mine, even though she is thirteen, and acts like any other adolescent, has the reading level of a kindergartener, and is barely making it through school. I was assigned her case when she entered fourth grade, so I’ve seen her progress. She managed to read her first book this year! I am honestly shocked that the administration lets the poor child complete each year. How can an eighth-grader be at a kindergarten reading level?! What I worry about is that once she makes it to ninth grade, her poor academics are going to impact her social life. Already her peers bully her for not speaking properly, and for not being able to read at grade level. I have to sit with the poor girl at lunch, so she’s not by herself!” Noah’s mom says, clearly upset about this youngster’s condition.
“I’m so sorry for that little girl, Noah’s mom. I wish there was something I can do to help?” I say, trotting over to the woman and patting her on the back. I know from experience that teaching is, more often than not, a thankless job. For special education teachers, even more so! They work like draftponies to provide an education for their students, and get paid subpar wages as thanks!
I am quite glad that Noah’s mom isn’t breaking down in tears right now. I know that other ponies assigned this case would be having a mental breakdown on Day 1! I can only imagine what her day is like when she’s working.
“Bon Bon, would you like to know why I got involved with special education?” Noah’s mother asks me, quite eager to lay off her stress. I don’t mind one bit! Teachers have a common bond with each other that allows them to share things that are easily understood. The desire to teach, regardless of ability, transcends age, sex, or as this new program has proven, species!
“Sure, why did you become a special education teacher?” I ask, quite eager to hear what inspired Noah’s mother. I have a feeling that it has something to do with her son, but I am not going to fill in the blanks. That’s her job, not mine! Usually, people only care about issues that directly affect them, so it would make sense for Noah’s mom to become a special ed teacher after having a special needs child.
Noah’s mom sighs and begins to tell me why she got involved in special education.
“Almost nineteen years ago, I had a baby boy. I’ll be honest with you, he was the cutest little thing! Noah is my firstborn child, so I didn’t know what I was getting into. I was very naive, and I thought that raising a child would be a simple task. After all, literally, all of my forebears had to have done the same, or my species wouldn’t exist! The first 18 months of Noah’s life were normal. He met all of his milestones, was in the right percentile for everything, and made me and his father proud.” She says, smiling about the seemingly easier times in the past.
“So, what went wrong, if you don’t mind me asking?” I probe further. I want to know more! This could help with the School of Friendship, right?
“Well, I wouldn’t say anything went wrong, but things didn’t go as planned.” She chuckles, trying to phrase what she’s saying in an accessible manner.
“You said while we were riding that your Princess Twilight Sparkle is autistic too, correct?” She asks me. I nod my head, and she continues.
“So, what do you remember about her? What makes her different from other ponies?”
I take a minute to think about what Noah’s mom asked me, and I can think of a few things off the top of my head. I hope she agrees!
“Well, she’s bad at eye contact. That’s the number one telltale sign, right? She often gets hyper fixated on the seemingly obscure subject matter, and has an intelligence that scares me!”
To be totally honest, I don’t know Princess Twilight all that well. I know whatever Lyra told me from her time at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. I don’t even think Lyra and Twilight have kept in touch all that often, so this information could very well be quite out of date!
“You’re spot on about your autism facts, Bon Bon. Don’t kid yourself. However, since autism is a spectrum, it’s important to note that symptoms manifest in different ways for different people.” My guest says, finishing her tea. I barely touched mine, because I am so infatuated with this alien woman telling me about her schooling methods and her son! I take a sip from my cup and perk my ears up. I want to know more!
“Well, back to Noah, the first thing that seemed out of place was that he was reading before he was toilet trained.” She chuckles. Reading before being toilet trained. How old would a foal be for that to happen? A year and a half? Two years, even?
“H-how old was he?” I ask, startled by this revelation.
“Seventeen months; and he was speaking in full sentences. That is when I realized something was off about him. While my ex-husband and I found Noah’s hyper advancement to be amusing at first, it quickly became something of concern. Imagine if Noah read about a horrific tragedy in the newspaper, and asked me about it?!”
Oh my. I didn’t even think of that. What horrible events could have happened on Earth that a toddler with hyperintelligence could read about in the post? I don’t even want to ask! I think the mere thought is horrifying in of itself!
“The final straw was the eye contact. As a baby, Noah was very alert. He looked around at everyone, followed all of the normal development milestones, and then around his first birthday it just stopped . My son was there, in my arms, uninterested in anything that I was trying to do with him. He just vanished into his own little world. While he did speak to me, he never spoke to me more than he needed to. Even today, he’s rather “out of it” and in his own headspace.”
Noah’s mom sighs and continues. I think this is where the meat of the story is coming in!
“I know I shouldn’t be upset. Noah’s Asperger’s diagnosis wasn’t the end of the world. There are many parents who have special needs children much lower functioning than him. Some are confined to wheelchairs, others are totally non-verbal! Noah is very high functioning and too verbal at times! But, seeing him grow up without anybody to speak to in school and being bullied for being different just completely and utterly broke me .”
Again, I am really surprised that Noah’s mom isn’t bawling like a foal right now. She’s built differently! I respect that, a lot! She sighs, and continues her story, explaining why she became a special education teacher.
“That is why I pivoted from regular teaching to special education. I want to pay it forward. I acknowledge that my son is luckier than most, getting all the therapies and treatments he needed, but there are other kids and young adults who need more help. I feel duty-bound to provide that assistance.”
I finish my tea, and I sit there in silence for a few moments; trying to process what I just heard. How can humans need this Friendship program if they have creatures like Noah’s mom? She’s so selfless and puts others’ needs before her own! I simply don’t get it, not one bit! I get up from my spot on the sofa and trot towards Noah’s mom. I embrace her with every fiber of my being, and she’s quite startled. After a while, she returns the embrace, and the two of us are just hugging on the sofa.
“Noah’s mom, you’re built different, you know that? I know I’ve only met a few humans, but from what I’ve seen, you’re one of the most selfless creatures I’ve ever met, and in Equestria, most ponies are quite selfless! I think that your approaches will work quite well in Twilight’s School of Friendship. In fact, I think we should work together! Wouldn’t that be fun?”
As the two of us quickly separate our bodies, I move back to my spot on the sofa. Noah’s mother thinks about my offer for a few moments, before smiling. I see her bright blue eyes with a single tear exiting each.
“It would be fun, indeed. I think you “ponies” are the missing link in helping kids like my son. I don’t know what it is, but if I can learn your ways, I think I’d be a much wiser, and kinder human being.”Aww! She’s so cute! I think I’d also be a much wiser, kinder pony if I listened to her. We’re going to be a great team!
I finally hear Lyra’s loud clobbering, coming down the stairs from our bedroom, where I assume she was on the phone with Trixie. Why can’t she trot like a normal pony? It’s so loud and she needs to improve her gait! She’ll break a hoof one day if she keeps this up. Why in Celestia’s name am I the only pony who thinks about Lyra Heartstrings? She finally enters our living room and looks at both of us with excitement.
“Guess what?!” Lyra exclaims, clearly happy about something.
“What is it, Lyra?” We both ask in unison.
“Woah, creepy. Don’t ditch me for the human woman, Bon Bon!” She says, sarcastically. Noah’s mother laughs, clearly amused by this demeanor of Lyra’s.
“I’m not into women, or ponies, for that matter. I am not going after Bon Bon. We just bonded over teacher stuff. Nothing serious.” Noah’s mom says, trying to reassure Lyra.
“I figured. I have “fooler-dar” you know. Unicorns can detect all sorts of emotions from all sapient creatures, both pony and otherwise. I’d know if you were into mares, but that’s not the point. I have some good news!”
Good news? I love good news! I think humans would like good news, too!
“So, spill the beans, Heartstrings?!” I say, quite interested to hear what the showpony had to say for herself.
Lyra doesn’t say anything, and instead just teleports the three of us somewhere. I swear, if she tries that schtick again with me, I am not making her dinner for a month! I know her ADHD makes her hyper, but that doesn’t excuse her from teleporting three creatures without asking first! I assume we’re at Twilight’s castle because all of the walls are made of crystal.
The three of us quickly reorient ourselves, as a blue showpony gallops into the room, with a human girl astride her. I’ll take it that’s Noah’s sister? I’ll say this: Whoever this human girl clearly knows how to treat a pony. Trixie and the human were riding as one creature, minds perfectly synced with each other. Nocreature was master over the other!
“Trixie has AMAZING NEWS! We have our first human student. She’s in the castle right now! ”
The human girl spurs Trixie back the other way, towards the Cutie Map room. I am a bit tired, so I am not as interested in galloping like an athlete to meet this human pupil. Lyra follows Trixie, quite eagerly at that, and Noah’s mother and I walk leisurely to the aforementioned room.
“A student, huh? That fast?” Noah’s mother asks me, as we finally arrive in the room with the Cutie Map; a good five minutes later than Lyra, Trixie, and her rider. I don’t see a new human anywhere, but I see Noah, Princess Starlight, Princess Twilight, Noah’s sister riding Trixie, and Lyra.
Noah notices his mother and waves, and she waves back.
“Hey, kid. How are you doing?” She asks him, as he shrugs.
“Went for a joyride with my marefriend. Twilight wanted to try riding, so she “borrowed” Rebecca for a riding session. She’s scared of heights, so she’s sticking to the Trixie Express. Our address went swimmingly, and we got a human through the portal!
Starlight moves out of the way, and Noah’s mother gasps. The young girl looks at her and smiles.
Weiss, huh? That’s her surname. Weirdest surname I’ve ever heard!
“Hello, Anastasia!” Noah’s mom, who I’ll now call “Miss Weiss.” for simplicity says to the girl.
This just got weird, but I am glad Miss Weiss has a student she recognizes! I just hope that her reading deficiency doesn't impede her Friendship progress. I think Princess Twilight has gotten this all figured out.
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 21: Meet The New Foals...Same As The Old Foals!
I went riding with Starlight for…I don’t know how long. All I know is that Twilight had to turn around because Rebecca was screaming about how high we were flying. I think she’ll stick to the “Trixie Express”. Not a bad choice, if we’re being honest with ourselves. We stayed in the skies for a few more minutes, before coming back to the castle. When we landed, I saw the Mirror Portal acting up, and Starlight immediately went to investigate. A teenage girl popped out of it, by herself, no less!
This all happened in quite a blur, so I am not really paying attention to the finer details. What I do know is that my mother recognized this young girl, and was quite pleased to see her. I assume it’s one of her students from school, but I can’t know for sure. Starlight taps me on the shoulder and wishes to speak with me privately.
“Yeah, Glimmy. What’s up?” I ask my teacher. She smiles at me and nudges me with her muzzle.
“You need to replenish your magic, stud. Remember what I told you a week ago? You need to have a pony rejuvenate the soul connections every seven days. It’s been almost a whole week since we’ve made this novel arrangement. Why don’t you give your mare a hug, and she’ll give you your “superpowers” back?”
I completely forgot that I needed to replenish my magical source every seven days! Starlight spreads her wings, and embraces me, stroking my back with her new winged appendages. As her horn lights up, my hands begin to glow as well. A tiny, but somewhat larger spark than last time erupts from her horn, and it enters my chest. I feel warm and fuzzy, and Starlight does, too! After a good minute of a warm pony hug, the magic calms down, and I feel refreshed! My hands sparkle a bit, and I playfully stroke Starlight’s mane in gratitude.
“Thank you, ‘Miss Starlight’”. I say, using the teacher honorific for the first time in a while. She chuckles and kisses me on the cheek.
“No problem, “my lovely pupil”. Now, let’s find out who this little girl is, and see if she wants to have dinner with us tonight. It’s already 4:45 PM!” Starlight says, giving me her wing to hold as we walk towards Twilight and the new human visitor. I love Starlight’s wings! They are so fluffy!
We finally make our way to this new student, and I see that my sister is busy asking her questions, with Trixie writing everything down magically. I wonder if I need to introduce myself, but Starlight gives me a look, telling me I should wait for a while longer. Starlight takes the lead, and once Twilight, my sister, and Trixie are done with her.
She looks at the young girl and sees that she is both excited and nervous. Lending out her hoof in affection, she waits to see what the youngster will do.
“Hello, young one. I’m Princess Starlight Glimmer. What’s your name?” She asks the young girl. She looks at my marefriend carefully, and giggles.
“Um, hello? Am, am I allowed to ask you a question?” The young girl asks Starlight. She nods her head and sits down on her haunches, eager to hear what the youngster has to say for herself.
“Of course, you can ask me anything!” Starlight warmly replies, putting the teenager at ease. The young girl takes a deep breath and begins her query.
“I, I don’t know how exactly I got here! I saw the telecast you sent to Earth on my TV, and I was watching it with my mom. She Googled how to apply, and I just vanished!” She says, a bit concerned that her family doesn’t know where she is.
“Wait right here, uh, what’s your name?” Starlight asks the youngster.
“Anastasia, Princess.” She replies.
“Ok, wait right here, Anastasia. I am going to ask my teacher what to do. I am new at this Princess job, so I need a little bit of help! It’s always okay to ask for help when you don’t know what to do!”
That reply made Anastasia feel better about her uncertainty, and she waited here with me, while Starlight went over to the Princess of Friendship. Twilight was busy talking to Trixie about Anastasia’s abrupt arrival, and what could be done about it.
“Hey, Starlight. What’s up?” Twilight says, quite happy to see her pupil. Starlight smiles and asks her a question.
“Did you and/or Trixie figure out how Anastasia got here? If the human doesn’t know how she came here, then we have a problem! What will the human governments say when a child goes missing?! They could think it was an act of war, or worse!” My marefriend says, quite alarmed by this. She does bring up a very good point. If there isn’t an explanation for how the girl came here, then this program could be dead on arrival!
Twilight’s horn lights up, and she thinks about what could possibly have happened. Trixie (and my sister) interrupts her, gently tapping the Princess’s wings with her front hoof.
“Trixie knows what happened, at least, she thinks she does! The Cutie Map brought her here on its own! Didn’t you say that it has a mind of it’s own sometimes?”
Twilight and Starlight both gasp, realizing that Trixie might be right.
“Oh, sweet Celestia. I’m screwed!” Twilight says as the mulberry color drains from her face in shock and horror. Why is she screwed? What am I missing here, exactly? How exactly can the Cutie Map bring people here on its own? If it could do that, then why didn’t it do that with me? I was the first human here, right?
“NOAH! GET YOUR CUTE SELF OVER HERE! BRING THE GIRL, TOO!” Starlight shrieks. Anastasia and I both get up, and we quickly run over to the Princess of Justice. I’m more eager to help, but she just wants to know what’s going on. Twilight casts a spell on Anastasia, painlessly scanning her body from head to toe. She shrieks in horror, but Twilight shushes her, trying to calm her down.
“What are you doing?!” Anastasia cries, terrified by the purple magical aura around her. Twilight finishes casting her spell and tries to calm the girl down. “I just wanted to cast a spell to see your energy levels. If the Cutie Map brought you here on it’s own, you’d have residual Harmony particles on you, and it turns out that you do!” Twilight says, quickly spawning her notepad and scribbling down her new findings.
Starlight is also quite interested in what just happened, but Twilight looks at her and gives her a signal not to intervene. I remembered that my mom came here with Lyra and Bon Bon, and I am trying to figure out where exactly they went. I don’t need to think too hard, because Lyra trots into the room, trying to figure out what’s going on.
“Hey, did I miss anything important?” Lyra asks me. I shrug my shoulders, unsure of how to respond.
“Well, it seems from preliminary data that Anastasia just appeared here because the Cutie Map summoned her. Twilight needs to do some more research to find out what exactly happened.” I reply, Starlight quickly changing her focus to the lime green unicorn mare’s arrival. Starlight waves at Lyra, and Lyra waves back.
“How’ve you been, Princess? We haven’t seen each other since we had lunch!” Lyra asks, and Starlight smiles.
“The week’s been hectic, to say the least. I got wings, found a rider, and I’m working on opening a new school!” Starlight quickly replies. Lyra nods in understanding, before turning her attention to the new human visitor to Equestria.
“Hello there! I’m Lyra Heartstrings!” She says, putting out her green hoof to shake the girl’s hand. She shakes “hands” with Lyra, and smiles.
“I’m Anastasia. Nice to meet you. I have a question for you. Why do you, Princess Twilight, Trixie, and Princess Starlight all have pictures on your butts?”
The rather blunt question from Anastasia sent all the ponies in the room into a fit of laughter. Maybe it was the timing of the question, or the query itself, but I haven’t seen Twilight laugh like that ever! Trixie uses magic to place my sister off her back, returning her to solid ground. She then zaps her riding equipment away. Maybe she needs her back to herself to answer this question!
Trixie trots over to Anastasia and sits down on the floor next to her.
“Trixie likes your inquisitive nature, youngster! What do you see on Trixie’s flank?” The showpony asks her. Feeling a bit embarrassed, Anastasia peeks at the unicorn’s Cutie Mark and replies.
“A crescent moon and a wand. Why?” She asks. Trixie smiles and pats Anastasia on the head with her front hoof.
“Trixie has this Cutie Mark , because she is quite adept with magic! In fact, she’s a traveling showpony who makes others smile. Isn’t that fun?” Trixie asks, before quickly realizing she can entertain this new girl while we’re waiting for results! Quickly taking off her conical magician’s hat, Trixie pulls out a deck of cards.
“Would you like to see some magic tricks while we wait for Princess Twilight?” Trixie asks Anastasia. She nods her head, and the two of them start their mini performance! I wonder what’s running through Starlight’s head right now, while we’re waiting?
***
An early human student?! This is nuts! I don’t know what to do, and I am totally unprepared for this. I have my Friendship program all planned out for Noah, but I am utterly lost and confused right now! Trixie is busy playing cards with Anastasia, so my Chief of Staff is unavailable at the moment. Twilight Sparkle is combing through all of the data, so that leaves Lyra and Bon Bon as the only ponies I could talk to at the moment.
Actually, I have a better idea. I make my way over towards my student, and I tap him on the shoulder.
“Hey. I wanna chat with you for a bit. Fill me in!” I ask him, as he gets up from his seat at the Cutie Map table, and walks closer to me.
“You are a smart mare, Starlight. Do you have any idea how Anastasia got here? I am not sure! Didn’t you have to come and pick me up? What makes her different?” He asks, wanting to learn more about this piece of Equestrian magical technology.
“I don’t know for sure, but I overheard Twilight say something about Harmony particles. It doesn’t matter that much, anyway. She usually figures things out quickly! In the meantime, I was wondering how you’re holding up? This week must have been a lot to take in, and I understand if you’re overwhelmed.”
I want to be helpful, and I don’t want my lovely rider to be worried about anything beyond his control. Perhaps checking in on him will help? Only time will tell! He looks at me and sighs with relief.
“I’m just glad my whole family is in on this new pony stuff. I missed my sister and mother dearly, and you and Twilight found a way to bring them both here, even it was just for a visit.” He says, giving me a warm embrace. I think fusing souls with Noah really improved his empathy! I return the hug, but I nudge Noah to pay attention! Twilight is waving her hoof asking for us to come closer! Noah and I make our way towards my teacher, and we await further instructions.
“So, I think I’ve figured out why this “Anastasia” came here early,” Twilight says, quickly pulling out a book with magic, and opening it. She flips through the pages, before landing on the one she wanted. Noah and I both peek at the page, and I quickly realize why Anastasia came early.
She has zero Friendship, not just a dangerous amount. The Cutie Map acted on its own to save her life!
“Noah, you realize what just happened, right? The Cutie Map saved this girl’s life! If she has zero Friendship, she could have taken her own life! Not even her own family gives her the Friendship that she deserves! Poor, poor girl…” I say, trying not to cry. I don’t think this is information that we should share with her just yet, as this could make an already tumultuous situation worse.
Twilight must have realized this damning situation as well because she’s appalled that anycreature could be left in a state of zero Friendship.
“H…how horrible are somehumans! Letting a poor little girl with issues wallow in her own shame! What about Mrs. Weiss, Noah? Didn’t your mom show her Friendship?” Twilight asks my rider. He takes a minute to think about the question, and then he replies, quite bluntly.
“Mom doesn’t talk about work at home, so I really don’t know. My guess is that this girl closed herself off from the world, and wasn’t willing to receive any Friendship. I remember reading in your textbook that Friendship has to be reciprocal, no?” Noah asks, cleverly remembering a key aspect of his studies. Twilight nods, signaling that this is most likely the case.
“She probably did close herself off. I think this is a job for Fluttershy. I don’t feel qualified to deal with her, because I could accidentally make this situation worse.” Twilight says, opening a window of her castle, and flying outside; presumably to find Fluttershy. This is really, really bad!
I trot over to Trixie, who just finishes doing her short card-reading routine with the girl, and I light up my horn, grabbing Trixie’s attention.
“What is it, Glimmy? Trixie serves at the pleasure!” The showpony says, clearly eager to prove her worth.
“I want you to write a statement regarding Anastasia’s arrival for broadcast to the human world, Explain that she got here because of Harmony Deficiency. I assume you know what this is?” I ask my Chief of Staff. She nods, quickly grabs her notepad, and begins scribbling down a draft address. Anastasia looks at me with confusion and seems distraught.
“What’s a Harmony Deficiency, Miss Starlight?” The girl asks me. I take a minute, unsure how to properly explain this to a thirteen-year-old, but I came up with something reasonable.
“It’s something technical about the Cutie Map, sweetheart. It’s nothing to be worried about. I promise.” I say, lying through my teeth. I have to deceive her, or something horrible could happen! I don’t want blood on my hooves. Noah looks at me and realizes that I lied, but he keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t reveal the truth.
Bon Bon and Mrs. Weiss are still chatting about teaching, so Lyra trots over to the young girl, and lights up her horn, bringing her harp to the castle.
“Do you like music, human girl?” Lyra asks Anastasia. The child’s eyes light up with joy, and she nods vigorously. “Yes, I do, uh, what’s your name again?” She asks, forgetting Lyra’s name.
“Lyra Heartstrings, Anastasia, but you can call me Lyra. I play the harp. Do you want to try it out for yourself?” The unicorn asks her. Lyra sits on her hind legs, and invites the girl to sit in between her legs, so she can access the harp. Anastasia slowly but surely makes her way next to Lyra, and she touches the strings of the harp. She plucks one, and it makes a funny noise! Lyra laughs.
“Yeah, you got it, that was a C note. Want to see something cool?” Lyra asks, looking at the human underneath her. Anastasia nods, and Lyra’s horn lights up. A perfect C scale is played majestically, both up and down the scale. Anastasia is impressed and claps her hands.
“That was pretty good. I’ve always loved music, Miss Lyra!” Anastasia says, clearly pleased with herself. She carefully plucks the string again, before plucking another one, and then another one. No magic was used at all. It’s all her fingers! I could have sworn that she began to play a melody, and Lyra looked at the human dumbfounded.
“Uh…Anastasia. Did you just play a melody? Have, have you ever played the harp before?” Lyra asks, in complete and total shock. Anastasia shakes her head, that she hasn’t.
“Nope. I just sort of saw the music in front of me, and I played the notes accordingly. It happens sometimes when I listen to a song, and then I can sing it on key!” Anastasia says, with directness.
Lyra’s muzzle drops in shock, and she tries to process the information we all just heard. Even Twilight got up from her studies about the Mirror Portal to see what just happened.
“Do you have synesthesia, Anastasia?” Noah asks the girl. She doesn’t know what that is, because she didn’t answer the question.
“Can I have a turn with the harp, Lyra? I want to prove a point.” Noah asks. Lyra nods her head, and he uses his magic to slowly but surely bring the harp closer to him. Anastasia was shocked that my rider can use magic, and her mouth opened in awe.
“WOAH! You can do that?” She says, as Noah simply nods his head that yes, he can use magic. Sitting down, Noah begins to play a song on the harp, without any sheet music! Lyra is dumbfounded before she musters up the courage to ask what’s going on.
“HOW CAN TWO HUMANS PLAY THE HARP SO WELL?!” Lyra says, shocked, impressed, and envious. “It took me YEARS to learn how to play.” She continues.
“Well, I have an unfair advantage, Lyra. I’ve been playing musical instruments since I could walk, but I prefer the piano. I have the same thing that Anastasia has. I see the music that’s in front of me, and it makes it easier for me to play!” He says, trying to explain this concept to the bedazzled child in front of us.
Music is a huge turn-on for me! I love it, and knowing my rider can play musical instruments makes me love him even more!
“I…I want to pick this human as my pet!” Lyra asks Twilight, clearly eager to spend more time with Anastasia.
“Well, she is going to need somewhere to live, and Noah’s mom is her teacher, and she’s already friends with Bon Bon. I don’t see why not.” Twilight says, making Lyra smile.
“THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! Lyra exclaims, quickly casting “Want It, Need It” to bring herself some riding equipment. Her horn lights up again, and the harp disappears.
“Come with me, kid. I want to try this riding thing, and I need to teach you music professionally! ” Lyra says with urgency. Anastasia doesn’t know how to use any of the tools that Lyra conjured, so Noah goes up to the lime mare and bridles her for Anastasia.
“Ish…a..weird…thing…in…my…mouth…” Lyra mumbles, not liking the bit in her mouth. It’s weird at first, but I got used to it. Lyra then equips her saddle quite easily, before levitating Anastasia into the air, plopping the girl onto her back.
“I’ve never done this before, so don’t panic, okay?” Lyra asks, now speaking normally after fixing her bit. Anastasia nods, and Lyra smiles.
“Have fun, you two!” Bon Bon pipes in, noticing her marefriend leaving. Lyra waves and she quickly canters off back towards her home, riding towards the staircase that leads to the castle exit.
I summon my own riding gear, and Noah wonders what’s going on.
“Where are we heading now, Starlight?” Noah asks me, climbing aboard but unsure of where to go.
“My apartment. I’m starving, and we still have leftover pizza in the fridge.” I say. Trixie and Rebecca have already left, doing Celestia knows what, so it’s just me, Noah, Twilight, Bon Bon, and Mrs. Weiss.
“We’re going to have a late lunch, Twilight. I’ll be back shortly!” I say, quickly launching myself out the window, en route to my apartment.
It only took a few short minutes for us to ride from Twilight’s castle to my apartment, and I was a bit lazy with my landing. Nocreature got hurt, but it could have gone more smoothly. Once we’re all inside and my gear is removed, I make a slight detour from the kitchen into my bedroom. Noah curiously follows me, and he’s confused.
“Do you even know what time it is, Starlight?” Noah asks me, as I quickly check my clock.
“5:15 PM. We’ll have pizza later, but I want snuggles first!” I coo, quickly flopping onto my mattress. Noah chuckles and wonders what’s gotten into me. I’m allowed to want cuddles, am I not?
“Just cuddles ? He says dryly.”
“Yeah, we’ll train you for riding later. I want to feel your warmth and you probably want to pet me!” I say with a hint of lust. Noah is always in the mood to pet me. I am so soft and cuddly! He makes his way into my bed, and unlike previous times, he goes behind me and snuggles from my back. How mischievous! Usually, I’m the big spoon, befitting my divine nature. I’ll let it slide, at least, this time!
“So…soft…Glimmy…” He says, clearly out of the world of reality, burying his body into my wings.
He’s a cute one! I didn’t expect him to be a music prodigy, but there’s always more to learn. Supper is at 7:00 PM sharp, so I’ll be sure to stay awake during this cuddle session!
Noah, you’re my rider, and I love you.
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 22: It's Okay To Be Scared
The next fourteen days went by in a blur. I don’t remember time going by so quickly in my life. It’s honestly quite alarming. Knowing that I am part of something much larger than myself is both humbling and terrifying! Even with the crippling anxiety that I am feeling right now, knowing that my rider is here, and learning Friendship with me makes both of us feel better.
Our schedule remains the same. I learned how to make a good schedule from Princess Twilight! We get up every morning at 8:00 AM. Noah and I eat breakfast together, and we go for a daily ride around the skies of Ponyville. We catch up on events, and I give him a quick review of Friendship lessons. I need the exercise, and he needs the bonding time! Once we get back from that, it’s around 9:30 AM. Friendship Lessons until lunchtime. We went through subject material at breakneck speed, covering everything from reciprocal feelings, helping a friend in need, and donating time to a cause you care about!
We have lunch everyday promptly at 12:30 PM, and Princess Luna has made an effort to pop by in Ponyville every day for lunch. My hunch about her affection for Noah seems to be true, as she’s acting very kindly and maternal towards him. She even calls him a “constellation”. Aww! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Luna is the better of the Two Sisters. After lunch, Noah spends a bit of time with Trixie, to work on his actual Friendship development. The two of them work on elementary magic, and Noah’s getting better. He can hold his own, but he’s no mage par excellence! I think the two of them are nice to each other, and I see a genuine friendship developing between them. Rebecca is happy for her brother, too! While he’s off with Trixie, I am finalizing the Friendship School plans with Princess Twilight, and working on admitting the human students. That takes up the afternoon, and then we have supper together. After supper, Noah and I have some personal time. We read books together in my apartment, and cuddle! Rinse and repeat the next day!
Since my rider is very political, like me, we both used our “Community Service” time in Friendship School to work on my new Princess job! Noah quickly read through the entire Equestrian legal code and pointed out what laws needed modernization and updating. Obviously, my status as a princess under the current constitution is mostly ceremonial, so our ideas have to be vetted by Princess Celestia. I have a draft for a new tax code ready, and it’s very progressive. Noah hates it, but he’s not in the tax bracket that has to pay more than others. The poor boy is a student, for Celestia’s sake!
Trixie is a very good Chief of Staff. She helped me write out public statements to give every day, updating both Earth and Equestria on my agenda. She writes like a disciplined pony, and I’ve rekindled my friendship with the showmare. She’s still herself, with her self-aggrandizement and whatnot, but I think she’s reined it in for the most part. She always checks in on my student, and her own rider, Rebecca, always checks in on Trixie to make sure she’s okay. I love it that everycreature in my new social circle has somecreature to care for them!
I haven’t been as busy following Lyra and Bon Bon these past few days. I did get a UniPhone call from Lyra, telling me how much she enjoys spending time with Anastasia, the little girl who came here from the Cutie Map’s own initiative. I’m glad that young girl finally found a friend in the musician pony. As for Bon Bon, she’s been working nonstop with Noah’s mother, Mrs. Weiss, on double and triple-checking the Friendship curriculum! Even Maud Pie dropped by, trying to give Bon Bon a few heads up (although she did talk a bit too much about rocks, so I’ve been told).
All of this takes lots of time and energy, but I am happy that we’re putting our heads together for good use. The school has its opening ceremony tomorrow, and I am both extremely excited and nervous. I’ve been getting a fair amount of hate mail from ponies across Equestria, who are upset that nonponies are learning Friendship from us. They say Friendship is a sacred art, and spreading it to others would defile it, and make it less genuine over time.
How stupid and ignoarant are these ponies! The more creatures who learn Friendship, the better is it for all! I think they’re just upset that the first batch of humans is neurodiverse. After all, It was only in the past few years that differentiated learning became widespread. Even though Celestia’s own sister is autistic, the Canterlot nobility wouldn’t allow her to pass modernizing education laws! It was only when one of the noble’s own foals was born with dyslexia did they allow for the new, progressive curriculum! That’s quite selfish, but change often only comes when those in power are affected by the cause.
Right now, I am lying in bed with my rider, thinking about all of these things. We’ve been together for around three weeks, and each and every day, I feel my bond with him grow. Princess Twilight told me that the soul-bonding magic I cast strengthens over time, so eventually, we’ll be in perfect synchrony! What I still need to determine is whether other unicorn ponies will be able to cast this spell with their own human riders, but not develop attraction towards them! This is the only way humans could learn magic, and I don’t know if all humans are open-minded enough to date ponies! My guess is that they aren’t!
Since my mind is linked to his, some general thoughts and fears transfer over between us. Noah was almost sleeping, but he must have realized my mind is racing right now, so he turns around and faces me. He holds my hoof and looks at me dearly.
“What’s up? I can’t parse out just yet what’s stressing you, but my magic is telling me you are worried about something.” Noah asks, trying his best to be kind and empathetic. He’s really doing the best he can, and I love that about him.
“I’m worried that the Canterlot Nobility are going to be mean to you again tomorrow,” I say, telling him a half-truth. I am actually worried that Noah is going to receive some backlash at the opening ceremony, but I am more worried about my own image! Human government representatives from a few countries are going to be in attendance! Twilight went on a business trip to Earth to set up a few new Mirror Portals, so the kids can travel to and from here with ease. This is my first real test as the Princess of Justice, and I really don’t want to screw up. Is it selfish of me to want to do well? It’s less about being a princess, in my opinion, and more about making Twilight proud. She redeemed me from my lowest low, and if she’s unhappy, then all of my hard work will be for naught!
Noah looks at me with caring eyes and scooches closer towards me. I’m lying behind him, so it pushes me back a little. He takes the front hoof that he’s holding and begins to massage it in a circular motion. I feel a bit of pain, at first, but it transitions into a soothing sensation, and I begin to calm down.
“W…what’s going on?” I ask my rider, who continues to massage my lilac hoof with tender care. He chuckles, seemingly confused as to why I am asking him such a silly question.
“Pressure points, Glimmy. When I get stressed, I sometimes massage certain parts of my body to reduce muscular tension. One of them is the palm of your hand, so I just assumed a pony’s hoof would have the same effect. I guess I was right, huh?” He says, leaving go of my hoof.
“No, Noah. Please keep going, I need your Friendship right now. I’m scared of making Twilight ashamed of me.” I say, my voice getting a bit raspy. I am trying my hardest not to cry in front of my rider, because I have a feeling he’d be upset if I got upset. While empathy is hard for Noah, when he truly cares about somecreature, he can become too empathetic. Noah then resumes to massage my hoof, and I wrap my tired wings around him.
“Please…don’t leave me as Sunburst did,” I say, breaking into tears. I think I am starting to have a mental breakdown from stress. I really don’t want to screw up this Friendship school operation, and more importantly, I don’t want to lose my rider. He’s my everything right now!
As my rider continues to comfort me, he turns around from facing behind me to looking directly into my teary eyes. He seems stressed about me, so I try to muster a fake smile.
“Aw, come on, Glimmy. Don’t give me that.” He chuckles, a bit amused by my shenanigans.
“When you fused souls with me, I got all of your memories, Starlight. I know that Sunburst cheated on you with Spitfire, and I am so, so sorry about that. My own father cheated on my mom, so I know how you feel about infidelity. I would never, ever do that to you, not only because I know what that feels like, but because you helped make me a better human being. Seriously.” He says. This makes me even more emotional, and my horn lights up. I’m not casting any magic, but I bury my poor rider in my coat of fur, desperate for him not to leave me.
“Stay…right here…Noah.” I cry as he embraces me with pity. He feels my heartbeat, and I feel his.
“I’m right here, Glimmy. I love you, I really do.” He says, as my wings begin to soothe his back, so my cute rider can try to sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day, and I want it to go well for everycreature. I just hope I can get my emotions in check by then.
“Luna’s looking after you, Noah. I just hope she’s looking after me, too. I need serenity tonight.” I whisper into his ear. Snuggling my rider tightly but comfortably, I try to fall asleep, and Noah does as well. Tonight is not about love, it’s not about passion or lust, it’s about two friends being there for each other. I need to support Noah, and Noah needs to support me. I think we’re doing fine…I just can’t lose another stallion like I lost Sunburst!
See you in the morning, stud.
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 23: The School of Friendship’s Grand Opening! (Part 1)
Starlight:
Sweet Celestia, today’s the big day! I am really excited and nervous, all at once! My rider is still sleeping, so I will give him a few minutes to get up and prepare. In the meantime, I rise out of my bed and get dressed. I have a rather quaint and plain outfit to wear today for the school’s grand opening. Rarity made me a rose-colored dress, with lilac trimmings to wear today. It fits perfectly for my body type!
I quickly don the colorful outfit and look at myself in the mirror. I am a bit biased, of course, but I think I look great! Cracking a genial smile, I move on to my next task of the day: waking up Noah. I quickly flop back onto my bed, and I light up my horn. Its warm, lilac glow quickly removes the covers from my bed. This sends a cool draft of wind going up against his legs, quickly waking him up! He quickly reorients himself and smiles at me.
“Morning, cuddle pony. How are you doing this fine day?” He asks me, quickly climbing out of bed, looking for a pair of pants to put on. I smile at his cutesy comment and blow him a kiss.
“All’s good. I liked cuddling with you last night. You kept me warm and lowered my nerves. I really appreciate it! Are you excited for today’s grand opening?” I ask him, once he’s finally dressed and ready. He nods, before using some magic to rummage through my pantry looking for a quick bite to eat.
“Darn it, Glimmy, are we out of granola bars, already?” He sighs, quickly making his way back to my bedroom, where he takes a look at my outfit more carefully. He smiles and quickly taps me on the wing. “You look lovely, “my princess”. He coos, quickly embracing me. He’s a cutie, indeed. I zap my horn, and two oats n honey granola bars spawn in front of us. I giggle, and give one to my rider.“I have a secret stash, cute stuff. Eat up!” I say, quickly munching on my own granola bar. Noah eats his rather quickly, before looking out my window.
Pointing to the right, he can see a schoolhouse a few miles out. The building for the School of Friendship is spotted in the distance! It’s a rather homey building, with state-of-the-art facilities for academics and for Friendship. While I wasn’t involved at all in its design or construction, I have faith Twilight did her due diligence when commissioning the school. Sneaking up behind him, I put my hoof over his hand, and squeeze it. “There you go, stud. That’s your new job. You’re going to learn and teach. Won’t that be fun?!” I chuckle, quickly tapping him on the shoulder.
“Can you go get my gear, Noah?” I ask him, as I redirect his head towards the coatrack at the front of the flat. Noah chuckles, before briskly walking towards the coat rack to get my saddle and bridle. I teleport the two of us outside, and I grin.
“We’re going to trot today. I want to act like everypony else, for once. Do you mind?” I ask him. He shrugs and smiles. “I don’t care how we go, Starlight. I care that I go with you.” He’s so cute! I love it. Noah takes an extra few minutes to properly equip my riding gear. He’s a bit jittery today, probably because he’s nervous about the School of Friendship opening today. I appreciate that he’s still taking his time bridling me!
“All done, Starlight.” He says. I hug my rider and peck him on the cheek. “Thank you, Noah. I appreciate it. Now, hop on! We have a school to open!” I chuckle. Noah moves behind me and puts his foot in the stirrup. With one swift motion, my student is astride his mare. I’ll give him credit for learning how to ride me properly over time. The first few times, it was clumsy for both of us. Once Noah is steadily astride me, he grabs my reins and smiles.
“Alrighty. Remind me where the School is, again?” He asks, quickly spurring me into a canter. “You’re going the right way, Noah. Just keep going east, alrighty?” I reassure him. He nods and pats me on the neck. “Good to know. No giddy-up today, Glimmy. I want to take my time getting there. I need the time to compose myself.” He says, somewhat upset we can’t ride fast.
“I was going to say the same thing, Noah. Slow and steady wins the race. Just enjoy Ponyville. It’s a sunny day today!” I remind him, pointing towards the other ponies who are trotting along their merry ways. I am so excited to inaugurate the school today, and Noah can’t wait to help me. I feel like I am on the right track! It’s an amazing feeling.
***
Noah:
Well, it’s the moment everycreature ’s been waiting for. Today is the day we open the School of Friendship! Starlight has been chewing my ear off about how excited she is, and I don’t blame her. If this goes smoothly, her administrative job will not only eclipse all of her misdeeds but potentially be her magnum opus! Twilight too, by the way. Starlight’s only the #2 pony in this operation.
I am slightly disappointed Starlight won’t fly me to the school, since I am slightly addicted to flying in the air with her. I have a feeling she knows this, and she wants to toy with me a bit. Right?
“Bingo. If I fly with you every day, it wouldn’t be as special, no?” She says, taking advantage of our soul link to answer my inner thoughts. I thought I told her that reading my mind was off-limits? I want my own mind to myself, thank you very much. “Starlight. Please keep your hooves off my brain, unless my life is in danger?” I ask, slightly cross with my marefriend’s privacy violation. She chuckles and bumps me an inch back atop her.
“Remember who’s in charge here, Noah.” She says sarcastically. “I thought we’re equal, aren’t we?” I quickly retort, using my pony’s own words against her. She chuckles, before turning her head around and sticking her tongue out at me “Retorting gets you extra Friendship homework today, Noah!” She boasts, quickly turning her head forward so we can travel safely. Another few minutes of this playful back-and-forth come and go, and by the time I am finally done “owning” her with “facts and logic”, we finally arrive at the School of Friendship.
Starlight was right, this building is quite large, but it’s probably a bit smaller on the inside. Sometimes, buildings give off the feeling of size, when it’s an illusion. Starlight comes to a complete stop in the school’s courtyard, before lifting me off her back with magic. Another zap of her horn and her riding gear is back in the apartment.
“And we’re here! Go look around, Noah, and see if you can find anycreature you know. We got here a bit early, so feel free to look around!” Starlight says, sitting down on a bench next to us. She spawns a notebook and quickly goes over some remarks. I think she’s giving another address today at the school’s inauguration, but I don’t remember. My mind is racing all over the place.
I don’t see anybody, and I wonder where my mom and sister are. I know my sister and Trixie have become inseparable over the past few weeks, so I’ll probably see the two of them together sometime today. Well, what do you know? I see a blue unicorn galloping this way, carrying my sister with her!
“TRIXIE’S HERE! IF THE GREATEST AND POWERFUL PONY IS HERE, THEN WE’RE ALL SET!”
My sister spurs Trixie to shut her up, and the two of them come to a stop near our bench. Trixie lets my sister climb down, and she sighs.
“Trixie was only trying to be funny, Rebecca.” The showmare says, giggling at my sister. She removes Trixie’s bridle, and Trixie blows in Rebecca’s hair, slightly cross with her rider.
“HEY!” Rebecca says, sticking her tongue out at the blue unicorn. I quickly go in between them and put one hand in front of each creature. “No fighting, please! Today’s Glimmy’s big day, and I don’t want her to be in a sour mood. I am sure you two would agree with me, no?” I say, trying to find some common ground. Trixie’s horn lights up, and she shoves me aside, plopping me back on the bench next to Starlight.
“Thank you for the help, Noah. Trixie gets it. She really does. Now, Rebecca, what’s the plan for the nonpony students?” Trixie asks my sister, who quickly opens her phone, and checks her data.
“Everycreature should be on their way as we speak. I think the Mirror Portals are online, and the human students are coming in a few minutes. In the meantime, I am curious as to where Lyra, Bon Bon, my mom, and Anastasia are. Noah, any ideas?”
Both Starlight and I shrug, not knowing where they are. “Beats me, kid. Trixie, daily brief!” Starlight says, quickly drawing the showmare’s attention. Trixie gives a playful salute, before transmitting data to Starlight via UniPhone. What I would give to learn how to use this uncanny magical technology! Once Starlight is done receiving and downloading her data, she smiles at Trixie.
“Thank you, Trixie. I am very pleased to know that the hippogriffs will sign on, as well. I wonder how their kids will handle going from two worlds to school. I hope it won’t be a hassle!” Starlight says, confusing the hell out of me.
“Two worlds?!” I pipe in, not sure what she’s referring to. Starlight sighs and puts a hoof on my shoulder. “You have a lot left to learn, Noah. It’s okay. Learning is good. I’ll get to hippogriff and seapony nuance later, in the meantime, we should wait for your mom, and for Twilight! It’s not like her to be tardy.”Starlight’s correct. It’s absolutely not like the Princess of Friendship to be tardy, so there must be a legitimate problem, or maybe she’s overtired? Eh, I think she’s overreacting.
I see a purple streak in the sky, being followed by a rainbow and yellow-colored one next to her. Starlight groans in annoyance. “Great, the “Mane Six” are going to steal the show today. Expect three more annoying ponies in a few moments.” Starlight says, clearly annoyed by this. Trixie nods in agreement.
“Trixie understands where you are coming from, but the “Mane Six” are cool. Trust Trixie!” She chuckles.
Well, I never met all six of them at once. How does their Friendship chemistry work? Time to find out!
***Princess Twilight Sparkle
I’m thrilled today! Not only am I inaugurating my very own School of Friendship, but all five of my friends are going to be here today! This is an outstanding example to set for all of my future students. Fluttershy and Dashie are flying next to me, and Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and AJ are going to rendezvous at the school itself. I told them yesterday.
“Hey egghead, how many ponies and creatures are going to be in attendance at the ceremony?” Rainbow asks me in her usual, blunt manner.
“Dashie’s right. Will it be a big party, or will it be something more manageable for the kind of crowd we’re going to teach?” Fluttershy pipes in, asking a follow-up question.
I take a minute to consider the question my two friends asked me, before coming up with a suitable response. I don’t want to say anything that’s not objective, so I have to proceed with caution. “Well, there are twenty-five human students, and twenty-five other students; five for each race. I made more slots for humans because they are literally a world apart! It’s only fair. Fifty students for the inaugural class seems like a reasonable amount, right?” I reply.
Dashie takes a minute to think about my answer, before nodding and bolting down, towards the school.
“Sounds cool. Meet ya on the ground!” She says, leaving Fluttershy and I above her, both baffled.
“Dashie always wants to put on a show,” Fluttershy whispers into my ear, as we both descend towards the ground. I see my student Starlight going over her notes on a park bench, and her student is talking with Trixie about something? I don’t see Rarity, AJ, and Pinkie yet, but I am sure they’re all on their way. As Fluttershy and I finally have our hooves on solid ground, I make my way over to Starlight.
“Congrats, Starlight!” I say, wings emoting my glee. She is caught off guard and quickly smiles at me. “Thanks, Princess Twilight. Did your other three friends make their way here yet?” Starlight asks me, as Noah points over the hill behind us. I see Pinkie bouncing along!”
“HELLO EVERYPONY! AJ AND RARITY ARE BEHIND ME!” Pinkie shouts, leaping ahead and looking at everypony gathered here today. Just like she said, AJ and Rarity were following her flank, and all six of us quickly meet up and exchange greetings. Rarity sees Noah’s sister for the first time and guffaws.
“Hello, Darling! You look lovely in that dress!” She says, quickly going over to shake hooves with Rebecca. She chuckles and smiles at the unicorn in front of her.
“You must be Rarity. I’ve heard a lot about you, only good things, I might add!” She says, shaking hooves with my entrepreneurial friend. Rarity smiles at the compliment.
“Thank you, darling. I can thankfully say the same about you. Being Twilight Sparkle’s own secretary must seem like a daunting endeavor.”
Rebecca would have replied to that query, had Applejack not tapped Trixie on the shoulder.
“Showpony, I’d take a gander at the skies above us.” She says. We all look above us, and a delegation of griffons lands in front of the school. I see Gilda from a few years ago, and she has a brother? Since when? Dashie gives the she-griffon a death stare, but Gilda didn’t notice. Who else is going to show up, today?
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 24: The School of Friendship's Grand Opening (Part 2)
Starlight:
Hooray! The griffon delegation is here. I am really glad that the first of many nonpony species have decided to arrive at this auspicious event! I don’t really know any of these creatures that well, but one of the griffons seems to have some history with Rainbow Dash. The two of them are pummeling each other into the ground, while Twilight is trying to contain the insanity.
“Why is Rainbow Crash here? I swore on Griffonstone that I would never see that birdbrain again!” The she-griffon says, continuing to wrestle with the avatar of loyalty.
“I never asked to see you again, either, featherbags!” Dashie quickly retorts. The two creatures are still duking it out, and Twilight is restraining her friend. I was quite tempted to intervene on my own, but I saw some more familiar muzzles arrive. Lyra, Bon Bon, Mrs. Weiss, and Anastasia arrive, and they are a bit baffled at the feud occurring in front of them.
They were smart enough to keep quiet and made niceties with everypony else. It was mostly idle chit-chat, but I overheard Anastasia talking to Mrs. Weiss about her music session with Lyra. “This foal’s insanely talented, Mrs. Weiss. You should have heard her play this morning!” Lyra boasted to Noah’s mother. She chuckles at the thought of her pupil being a musical prodigy, before going to find my rider. So far, we have a nice crowd of creatures here. Everypony that I care about is present, and I am quite sure the Princesses will make a cameo appearance today, as well.
Everything’s going perfectly! I couldn’t be more pleased. I quickly go over my address, while making some key footnotes. You’d think I’d be more careful with fragmented sentences and comma splicing, but apparently, I forget a lot when I am under duress. My speech looks rather solid, and I think it will be enjoyed by all. While I am quadruple checking my speech, I feel a gentle tap on my wing, and I turn my head to the side.
“Hey, my mom’s finally here. Did you catch up with her?” Noah asks me, sitting down next to me on the bench in front of the school. I nod my head. “I’ll get to speaking with her later. I have to give the opening speech for the school in just a few minutes. Do you want to ride me while I give the speech, or do you want to stay put?” I ask him, unsure of what the best method of presentation would be for today. Truth be told, I would prefer if Noah is glued to my back for the speech. I’ve become quite attached to him lately, and he was very soothing when I had my small panic attack last night.
Noah holds my wing and rubs the lilac edge of it, sending a volt of relaxation across the entire wing, spreading into my back. “Whatever makes you happy, Starlight. I get very nervous about big events, too. I know how you feel. Maybe our soul fusion really helped with my empathy? I know how your magic exam went in Sire’s Hollow.” He says, laughing quietly to himself.
“Not now, Noah. Not now. For buck’s sake, I am worried sick about screwing up this address, and Princess Twilight is going to be livid if I screw this up today!” I kindly rebuke him; shutting him up. I catch a quick glance of a few more nonpony creatures arriving while I am with Noah. I see a few reformed changelings, one she-dragon, and some kirin. Everycreature takes their seats in front of the school, and I am delighted at how many foals of different species are here!
“Glimmy. Quick question.” Noah asks, tapping my wing. “Go on?” I reply.
“Where are the other human students? I see Anastasia my mom, and Rebecca but I don’t see any other people here. Does that seem odd to you?” He asks me, uncertain about the dedication humanity will show to this generous offer ponykind has given them. It’s a good thing that this query was within earshot of Twilight Sparkle! She quickly trots over here and smiles in front of both of us.
“The humans are in the back row. You just can’t see them from your vantage point. The “United States” even sent an ambassador here! Isn’t that cool?!” Twilight says, nerding out at a human diplomat’s appearance in Ponyville. Noah smiles. “Yeah, that is kinda cool, indeed. Now: who’s giving the first speech? You, Celestia, or Starlight?” Noah asks. Twilight points to the snow-white alicorn at the confections booth, buying a cupcake for herself.
“Celestia’s going to say a few words, and then Starlight and I will begin our speech. Want to hang out with Starlight, or do you want to sit in the audience?” Twilight asks him, repeating the question that I asked him just a few short moments ago. Noah gives me a look, and I quickly conjure my riding gear, equipping it quickly.
“I’ll take that as a yes, you two lovecreatures. Just don’t kiss or anything. You’re still her student, Noah!” Twilight says, quickly flying over to her own teacher, presumably to debrief her on some other princess-y stuff. I feel a gentle tug, and my student is astride me. The greenish-gold bit feels warmer than usual, but that could just be me. I tend to get overheated when stressed or excited; sometimes a bit of both!
Noah gently taps my sides, and I trot along the aisles of seats, looking for anypony/creature important. Rebecca is riding Trixie, making the same rounds as us, and the showmare’s rider is scrupulously collecting data for her Friendly employer.
“You have no idea how much crap Twilight wants me to write down, Trixie.” I hear her say to her mare.
“No kidding, Rebecca. Trixie is fully aware of Twilight’s idiosyncratic behaviors. Did she make you write a “list of lists?”. Rebecca nods, and Trixie chuckles. “Trixie pities her Great and Powerful Rider for enduring the Sparkle gauntlet. You’ll get used to it. Spike’s been rather lazy lately since you humans showed up. Twilight’s making you do his work. Poor girl…”
That was a funny exchange, but I am not sure Noah was paying attention. He wouldn’t need to, anyway. Finally making our way to the back row, I see twenty-five human adolescents sitting in white foldout chairs. Twelve girls and thirteen boys. It would be slightly humorous if there were twelve and a half humans of each sex, but half a creature would be icky. Imagine all the guts and icky stuff hanging out. I’d probably throw up! All twenty-five pairs of eyes glance toward me, and a few of the students bow out of respect.
“Good morning, Your Majesty!” One younger female says. She looks rather fidgety, and I am getting “Pinkie Pie” vibes from her. I wave to her, and she waves back. Another adolescent, this one a male, also waves to me.
I was expecting him to say something, but the young man didn’t speak a single word. Was he being rude, or is this one of his disabilities. I’ve seen deaf ponies before, and I know a bit of ESL (Equestrian Sign Language), but I am getting the feeling this fellow can hear. I am quite interested in this, and I trot towards him, sitting down on my hind legs in front of his seat. Noah dismounts me and gives me space to communicate with the young man.
“Can you understand what I am saying?” I ask him. He nods.
“So if you can understand what I am saying, why aren’t you speaking?” I ask, not out of prejudice or fear, but mere curiosity. The teenage female who greeted me politely taps me on the shoulder, thanks to her sitting next to him.
“Shaun is nonverbal, Princess.” She tries to explain to me.
Nonverbal?! What’s that? I hope it’s nothing serious; for all of our sakes!
***Noah
Welcome to Special Ed, Princess of Justice. Things are going to get very interesting for you from here on out. My marefriend looks at me with confusion, and I don’t blame her.
“Noah? Nonverbal? Is that bad? How can this human tell us what he wants or needs?” Starlight asks me, slightly afraid of this student. I don’t particularly remember what my mother does with her nonverbal students, but I know there is a way that she can communicate with them. I think she uses an app on her iPad?
“I remember my mother telling me about kids like…Shaun, right?” I ask him. He nods. I am bad with names. It’s good that i remembered his.
“Go on, Noah?” Starlight asks, as Celestia taps the microphone and begins her portion of the opening ceremony. We all stand up from our chairs out of respect, in reverence for the sun alicorn. Celestia gives a warm, genial smile, and begins to speak.
“Good morning, everycreature! Some of you are quite acquainted with me already; even some nonponies! But we have some new visitors to my kingdom today.” Celestia says, casting a spell that illuminates all of the chairs the human students are sitting on. Everycreature else promptly looks at the alien students, and cheers for them. Aww, that’s sweet! Celestia calms the crowd down, and then continues with her address.
“I’ll keep my part in this ceremony brief. Today is not my day. I just wanted to take the opportunity to welcome everycreature from outside Equestria to my kingdom, and I will do whatever I can as Princess to accommodate you. Now, without further ado, I would like to introduce two very special ponies.”
Well, I know who she’s referring to. I grab Starlight’s reins in anticipation, and she turns her head back at me with a determined look. “I got this, stud. Don’t you worry.”
“The first pony I’d like to introduce is my own personal pupil. Some of you are very well acquainted with her, and others might not even know who I am referring to. This mare has been an instrumental component of this monumental project, and without her, I’d wager there wouldn’t be a School of Friendship in the first place. Can I get a round of applause for Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship?”
Celestia teleports away, and the crowd goes wild. Twilight gallops onto the stage, accompanied by her five friends. Starlight sighs, and whispers to me. “I’m not an Element Bearer. It’s fine. I have you, stud.” I appreciate the compliment, and I gently caress Starlight’s mane with affection. She shakes her mane and chuckles.
“Not now, Noah. Please, not now. We have a speech to give!” She says, quite sternly. I quiet down, and Twilight and her friends do a silly musical number about Friendship. I’ve noticed during my stay here that most ponies have a penchant for music; especially at the most inopportune times. It’s very “campy” and reminds me of Broadway musicals. Not my cup of tea in particular, but I know plenty of people back home who’d love this.
I’m glad that this was a brief interlude, and Twilight’s five friends depart from the stage and give her the floor. She takes a few deep deep breaths, clearly nervous about this address, and she glances at Celestia, who happens to be sitting in the front row, along with her sister. Finally composing herself adequately, she takes a final deep breath and begins to address the crowd.
***
Twilight Sparkle
I can’t say I am surprised, that’s for sure! So far, this opening ceremony has gone all according to plan. That’s good, right? What I am worried about is whether my speech’s delivery will go well. Will Equestria listen to what I have to say? Will the human visitors? So much is uncertain, and my anxiety is through the roof. Regardless, I have a responsibility as the Princess of Friendship to address the crowd, and I take my job very seriously. Here goes nothing!
“Good morning, everycreature! Some of you already know me, so I won’t get into introductions again. If there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s repeating myself.” I say, quickly brushing off the often repetitive introductions that speeches have at the beginning.
“Right. Onto the speech! Friendship is incredibly important, and in Equestria, it is the lifeblood of ponykind. Nopony here can survive without it, and I mean that literally! Friendship can be detected in a pony’s blood, and not having enough of it causes many different health complications! While I won’t get into that, because there are fillies, colts, and nonpony foals in the audience, what I will say is that my initiative will save lives!”
This is 100% true. I didn’t tell the crowd about Anastasia, the little girl who had zero Friendship detectable in her body, but I did insinuate her condition’s problems. I am sure that my team understood the reference, so I am not too worried about this getting totally lost in translation.
“I went over why I established this school in previous addresses, so today, I just wanted to officially welcome everycreature to Ponyville’s own School of Friendship. I also wanted to briefly give the students a synopsis of the curriculum that they will be studying.” My horn flashes at the completion of this statement, and all of the Friendship students receive a compact, easy-to-read pamphlet, universally translated into the language of the reader. Some are in Ponish, some are in Griffish, etc.
“To help me go over this curriculum, I would like to invite my student Starlight to the stage? Her rider can come too, if he wants!” I say, inviting those two onto the stage. Noah’s already riding atop Starlight, so he taps Starrlight’s barrel, and she quickly teleports onto the stage next to me. I guess it’s good that teleporting brings both of them to the stage! I’d think that having a passenger would mess up the teleportation spell, but I was mistaken! I have much to learn!
Starlight trots up next to me, and Starlight quickly uses a spell to project three key subjects of my curriculum onto the sky.
“Hi everycreature! Princess of Justice Starlight Glimmer here. I cast a quick spell to show you the three most important subjects that all of you will learn in this one-month intensive. Twilight?” She asks, giving me back the floor. It’s good that there are three main points. Having too much to remember could be daunting!
“Alright. Here are the three points: 1): Empathy. Not only do you need to show more empathy for others, but your potential friends need to show that they are interested in you, too! Fluttershy will drive this point home during her empathy lessons, but I can also see the value in exhibiting this key Friendship trait.”
Fluttershy quickly claps her hooves together in affirmation at my emphasis on empathy, and a few others join in her applause. Onto the second point!
“2): Trust. No relationship can survive, friendship or otherwise, without mutual trust. This isn’t just about not telling your usual little white lie, but it’s about being transparent with your friend if you are in a pickle. For example, if you are in need of a helping hoof, claw, or hand, you should tell your friend in confidence that something is wrong. Friends are supposed to aid each other when they are needed. Applejack and Rainbow Dash are both heavily proficient in the teaching of trust, due to their adherence to Loyalty and Honesty. I am sure they can elucidate these two concepts much better than I can.”
Starlight nods her head, and adds “no trust, no Friendship. In my opinion, I think this is the most important concept that you all should learn!” I can see where she’s coming from. I know her personal history, so I see why she is adamant about trust. Anyway, there is still one more topic to cover, before I inaugurate the school itself.
“3): Finally, the last key component of Friendship that this course will teach is listening. This one is more ambiguous than the others, so I’ll break it down for you all. You have to pay attention to what your friends are saying, and not just listen, but actively listen to them. This means that you always have to be paying attention when your friends are speaking, as they could be saying something quite important.”
Starlight quickly deactivates the projection spell with the three key points, and she smiles.
“I actually did these three quick lessons with Noah over here! He caught on quickly, and I think all of you can learn these valuable skills, as well!” Starlight pipes in, her rider smiling at the comment. “It’s true, everycreature ! I learned a lot from Princess Starlight, and I think you will all learn so many important things.” Noah says, smiling and embracing the mare is riding.
“Well, that’s a wrap! Those are the three most important things you all are going to learn about Friendship during your month-long period of study. In my opinion, these three traits will help foster and nourish friendships for the rest of your lives!”
Now, for the fun part. I am going to officially open the School of Friendship for study, and it will be a lovely occasion! I can’t wait, and this will make Princess Celestia really proud; both of me and of Equestria itself!
“Alrighty. Who’s ready to learn?” I ask the crowd, which breaks out into spontaneous applause, along with chants of “Twilight” and “Starlight”. I am touched, really, I am! I give the crowd a few more minutes to let out their excitement, and then Starlight and I shush the crowd gently.
“Ready to open the school, Starlight?” I ask my fellow princess. She nods and smiles. “Can I help?” She asks me in return. I eagerly nod, signaling that she may, indeed, help me open the school officially. Starlight deactivates her projection spell, and the two of us trot in front of the schoolhouse and stare at the crimson ribbon blockading the front door. Starlight casts another spell, conjuring a giant pair of scissors. She telepathically hands the scissors to me, and we each envelop the scissors with our magic; controlling one blade each.
“As the Princess of Justice…”
“And as the Princess of Friendship…”
We both sync our horns, so we could finish the royal proclamation in unison. This will be fun! I turn my head back, looking at Princess Celestia. She nods, and smiles, giving me a “you can do it, Twily!” look. If she thinks I can do it, I certainly can do it!
Now in synchrony, we issue our royal proclamation to open the School of Friendship.
“We hereby inaugurate the School of Friendship, and open the institution for study-.”
“Actually, that’s not going to happen!” A voice booms, interrupting the two of us. This distraction causes Starlight’s magic to deactivate, dropping the giant scissors onto the grassy knoll we’re both standing on. My own magic deactivates, and the two of us turn around to see a grey unicorn stallion wearing regal clothing obstructing the crowd, bringing everycreature into a state of confusion.
“What’s going on here?” Noah whispers into Starlight’s ear. She shrugs her front hooves, not sure how to answer this question. Even Trixie got up from her seat, her rider Rebecca next to her, emoting her frustration with this obstruction of Friendship!
I need to deal with this pony right now, and swiftly! What would Celestia do in this situation? Starlight trots up to this unicorn, dragging her human rider along with her. She grunts angrily and lights up her horn. I hope she’s not going to zap this jerk! We don’t solve Friendship problems with violence. She should know this by now!
“Hey, dingus! What the hay do you think you’re doing? I was about to open a School of Friendship with my teacher, and-”
The bearded unicorn begins to laugh, and trots past my student, completely ignoring her.
“Oh, you silly wannabe Princess. I’m Chancellor Neighsay, and I am here to inform the real Princess of Friendship that her school is unconstitutional!”
The stallion trots up to me, and casts a spell, placing a giant lock pad onto the school, preventing anycreature from entering the building.
What? Unconstitutional? What kind of horseapples is this colt trying to sell everypony? Trixie gallops up to this guy, Rebecca astride her, and begins to scream!
“TRIXIE CANNOT, AND WILL NOT LET YOU RUIN THIS DAY FOR HER! TRIXIE WANTS FOR EVERY CREATURE TO MAKE FRIENDS, AND-.”
How the hay is this going to turn out? Does this Chancellor have any authority? Will he ruin the School for my neurodivergent students?
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 25: Chancellor Neighsay and the "Hoofibuster"
Starlight:
Sweet Celestia…this is certainly something that I didn’t anticipate would happen! I was this close to officially opening my school with Princess Twilight, and all of a sudden, this poor excuse of a pony shows up and declares, without any proof, that my sacred institution of learning is now defunct and nonexistent?! Who the buck does he think he is?!
Trixie is busy screaming at this “Chancellor Neighsay”, and her rider Rebecca is trying to rein the showmare in. I am tempted to intervene and prevent Trixie from making an already delicate situation worse, but I have more important things to do right now; such as talk to my own teacher and figure out what the buck is going on.
I walk over to Twilight and immediately begin emoting my frustration with her. “What. Just. Happened?!” I scream, clearly irate with the current situation, and the dozens of creatures waiting to begin their lessons of Friendship. She looks around, before trying to come up with an adequate response.
“...I don’t know. I am going to ask this dolt who he thinks he is, and why he’s infringing on your jurisdiction!” Twilight says to me sternly. Obviously, she was being quite loud, because the “Chancellor” heard what my teacher said, and trotted over to the two of us, with a smug look on his muzzle. He looks at me with contempt, before respectfully bowing in front of Twilight.
“Madam Twilight, I do not close your institution out of malice, I can assure you of that.” The grey unicorn begins, before conjuring a papyrus scroll and handing it to Twilight. She accepts the document, and quickly analyzes it, before coming to an awful realization. As good as I am at reading muzzles and determining the situation, I am a bit stumped when it comes to Twilight. What did she discover that is so damning?
“As you can see, Princess, I am using the hoofibuster to hold up your “experiment”, because my constituents in Appleloosa are concerned that the instruction of Friendship to these…”nonponies” would be a great risk to national security. I must represent my ponies in the Horseshoe, and I am up for re-election around Nightmare Night…”
Ah, yes, the “Hoofibuster”. An archaic mechanism in the Horseshoe that allows for a minority government, and prevents key legislation from getting passed. When invoking the Hoofibuster, only a 60% supermajority can override it, rather than a simple 50+1 majority. Granting the right of suffrage to mares was hoofibustered back in Granny Smith’s day, and only the passionate testimony she gave moved the Horseshoe to ratify the Mare’s Voting Act.
“You’re joking, right?” Twilight says, stuttering and still somewhat ignorant of the ways of Canterlot politics. She might be a bookish mare, but political science is my wheelhouse, not hers!
“I’m afraid this jerk is in the right here, Princess. He has to represent the needs of his constituents, as wrong as they may be. Chancellor Neighsay is a very clever pony.” I say, conceding that his use of the “Hoofibuster” was rather intelligent on his part; holding up Twilight’s agenda in the Horseshoe.
“You should have known better, Princess. The executive authority an Equestrian Princess holds is very limited in scope, and you are actually in breach of the Equestrian Constitution! I am President of the upper chamber of the horseshoe, er…the “Bridle” as it is colloquially known, and half the entire Honesty caucus is in agreement with me. You’re in for a long, legal challenge, milady.”
My own rider is carefully listening to what this unicorn pony has to say and keeping his thoughts to himself. Since I can read his mind, because our souls are linked, I know he’s incensed and is on the brink of acting out. I quickly send him a telepathic message, urging him to “shut the buck up”, and keep quiet. He nods and tries to calm Trixie and his sister down.
Twilight is so horrified and offended that this unicorn pony interrupted her sacred agenda that she almost begins to cry. Princess Celestia, who was sitting at her own chair for the opening ceremony, quickly teleports to her prized pupil and embraces her with the Princess’ regal, swanlike wings.
“I’m afraid the Chancellor is correct, Twilight,” Celestia whispers to her with consolation. “When I banished Luna one thousand or so years ago, there was almost a revolution to remove me from power. I changed the system of government to a constitutional monarchy, and Chancellor Neighsay must perform his civic duty. You know I agree with you on this matter, but we must use the proper channels of the courts to solve this problem.”
Celestia releases her student from the embrace, and Chancellor Neighsay bows out of respect to the supreme monarch.
“Your Majesty, as much as I am in reverence of the Sun, I must sincerely ask you why you didn’t prepare your pupil for the complications of government?” Neighsay asks, trying not to be too rude, but still poignant. Celestia sighs, and comes up with a reply.
“You’ve known me for twenty-five years, Neighsay. You know I am not the best at foresight. Besides, Twilight’s mandate is for Friendship, and there hasn’t been a legal challenge to that since the Second Seaquestrian war seventy-five years ago. I’d wager you were not even alive by then.” She chuckles, quickly approaching me.
“Starlight. I know your proclivities lie in the political sphere. I can assume to trust you and your rider to aid Twilight in her testimony?” She asks me. I quickly nod, zapping my rider over here to reply to Celestia’s request.
Quickly reorienting himself, my human boyfriend nods and smiles at the Friendship pony.
“With pleasure, Princess. What are we going to do in the meantime with all of these students? They’re probably waiting to learn, and some of them I’d assume to be quite stressed!” He asks. Twilight quickly teleports away and begins to deal with that problem that Neighsay just created.
Celestia laughs and pats Noah on the head with her front forehoof. “Twilight’s on her way to deal with that right now. I trust you, and I trust Starlight. Go assemble your team of friends to aid Twilight, and I’ll make the necessary arrangements to set up Twilight’s testimony at the Horseshoe as soon as possible. Good luck, Princess of Justice!” Celestia says, quickly teleporting away, leaving Twilight quite distraught, and the Chancellor very smug.
“Just to be clear, Princess, I harbor no ill will towards you whatsoever; but I must carry out the wishes of my constituents,” Neighsay says, before teleporting away. The massive padlock that he magicked onto my school looms over the clear Ponyville sky, and most of the ponies and creatures in presence were up in arms! The dragon delegation immediately flew away in disgust, and some of the griffons began arguing loudly with the pegasi royal guard.
Twilight is really, really upset, and her five friends immediately make their way toward her to comfort their friend. As much as I care for Twilight, I am more concerned about the neurodiverse human students, who are now being neglected over partisan politics! I need to provide Justice for them, posthaste!
***
Trixie (The Great and Powerful)
You’re kidding me, right? If Trixie’s most Kind and Powerful ally got shafted by partisan politics, and her teacher, too, then what the buck is Trixie going to do to fix it? The human atop Trixie is very irate, grabbing the soft and powerful mane and trying not to yank out the hairs.
“Trixie, what the actual hell is wrong with this pony?!” Rebecca says, spurring her Powerful mount into a gallop to find allies. Trixie has known Rebecca for quite some time, and she hasn’t ever seen this human be so cross. The interruption by Chancellor Neighsay is not something that was expected by anypony! Right now, based on what mental waves Rebecca is emitting, she is looking for Lyra and Bon Bon, since those two mares are also on the “dream team” Starlight comprised.
A few short moments later, we approach Lyra and Bon Bon, who were sitting closer to the back of the makeshift arena. Each pony was sitting next to a human; Lyra sitting next to the music prodigy Anastasia, and Bon Bon sitting next to Noah’s mother. Rebecca dismounts and approaches her mother, clearly upset about the events that just transpired.
“Ma, this is NUTS! How are these ponies so racist? This is going to create a PR nightmare back on Earth, and the US ambassador is already flipping his lid! He just went back through the Mirror Portal to brief the President. Equestria could get sanctioned, humans prevented from coming here, and so much worse! This is so, so bad!” Rebecca says, extremely alarmed by Neighsay’s actions. Trixie has been in a few pickles before, so she might be able to provide some empathy to these humans? Besides, if she was able to befriend Noah, then comforting more “normal” humans will be a breeze!
Cape flapping in the wind, the Great and Powerful Trixie is in full Empathy Mode! “Look, Ms. Weinstein. Trixie doesn’t know anything about geopolitics, or law, or…anything serious; but she does know about Friendship…er…sort of. She trusts that your son and the Princess of Justice are combing through the Equestrian law codes to help Twilight with her testimony! All will be well, and Chancellor Neighsay will lose this pointless scuffle!”
Might as well embellish, this is something Trixie is very good in, after all. Showponyship is her thing! Lyra is very, very mad, and her horn is alit brightly with lime green magic, of the strongest emotional caliber.
“Bon Bon! What the feathering buck is wrong with this Neighsay guy? First, he Hoofibusters same-pony marriage, and now, he’s preventing these poor human and nonpony students from learning Friendship. What is up the poor pony’s tail? Buck, we’re still in the lawsuit to get our right to marry!” Lyra says, tears streaming down her face. The human girl she befriended, who seems somewhat antisocial, hugs the musical mare and strokes her mane.
“Lyra…poor, poor Lyra. I am so sorry about you and Bon Bon. I don’t know how to fight for our rights, but I know that, in time, the right thing always comes to fruition, but it could be a long fight. Noah and Starlight are two very smart creatures, and I am sure they’ll help Twilight Sparkle win her case!”
Lyra begins to cry, even more, touched by the human girl’s empathy. “Thank you, Anastasia, I’m touched by your kindness. I am sure Twilight will get everything under control, and we’ll be able to teach you and your species Friendship.” Bon Bon nods, agreeing with her marefriend, and smiles.
“It’s true, everypony. The most important things always come true, but nopony said it’s easy.”
Trixie has a feeling that Noah’s mother, Ms. Weiss, would have said something next, but Twilight teleported back into view and had a very sad look on her muzzle. Trixie wonders what’s on the pony’s mind? Pinkie Pie bounces along, with a few human students walking next to her, enamored by the pony’s cheerful demeanor.
“Hi, guys! I just showed these three human kids my party cannon! It was so fun, and-.” Pinkie was promptly interrupted by Twilight, who puts her wing in front of the mare’s mouth, shutting her up.
“Pinkie Pie! Not now! I have a Bridle hearing to prepare for, and Starlight and Noah are combing through every single Horseshoe document in Equestria, and even Princess Luna is helping prepare them for my hearing! Can’t you see how much of a crisis I’m in? Parties are fun, but you should focus on spreading your laughter with these sad nonpony students! I’m in a diplomatic and political NIGHTMARE!”
A political nightmare, huh? Perhaps Trixie knows a thing or two to ameliorate the situation? Trixie gives Rebecca a look, and she approaches her and hops on. “We need to go find my brother and Starlight. You’re Starlight’s chief of staff, and-.”
Twilight interrupts Rebecca, and picks the human up off Trixie’s back!
“Actually, kiddo, you work for me , not for Trixie. I need my communications secretary to help deal with the clusterbuck Neighsay started, and how to deal with this on Earth. I promise I won’t fly. You’re riding with me. Trixie…I need to borrow that.”
With a zap of the alicorn’s horn, Trixie’s own riding gear is transferred onto Twilight, and Rebecca hesitantly mounts the Princess of Friendship. “You sure you need to use me to solve this problem? I know how to use social media, but I don’t know how to-.”
Twilight bucks Rebecca back an inch on her back and puts the reins in the human girl’s hands.
“Shut up and ride me! I have important stuff to do, and making you my rider in this time of emergency is going to save both of our flanks!”
Twilight casts a spell, making Rebecca spur the alicorn, and the two of them gallop off back towards her castle. Trixie sees a lilac streak in the sky, so she assumes that’s Noah and Starlight heading back to her apartment. This day is crazy!
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 26: Back to Starlight's Roots!
Noah:
“Noah, This Neighsay bastard’s got some nerve!” Starlight screams, as I am riding with her, back to our apartment to try and regroup. I certainly didn’t anticipate anything negative to happen during the opening ceremony of the School of Friendship! And for a pony to be the cause of this dilemma is absurd! Almost every single pony I’ve met so far is kind and wise beyond their years. What makes this unicorn any different?
Even though the weather is much calmer and sunnier than yesterday, there is a sense of melancholy and dread in the air; and it’s certainly not caused by the weather! My flying mount is quite upset with the current situation and is both exhibiting her frustration and trying to discover a path forward. I make sure to be extra gentle with Starlight’s reins while we are flying because I don’t want her to buck me off. When Starlight is upset, it shows, and everycreature around her feels the pain and anger she does.
Given that I am an extremely lucky human who not only befriended but is courting an alicorn deity of Justice, I have to play my cards very carefully. I want Starlight to feel comfortable in my presence, especially when things aren’t so peachy keen for everyone. I finally come up with something to say, and I pray that it will work.
Here goes nothing!
“I know he’s got nerve. We both agreed his values don’t align with ours, and I am more than happy to help you comb through every legal document needed to prepare Twilight for her testimony in the Bridle.” I say, somewhat reassuring Starlight that things will improve from here on out. She sighs, and banks slightly to the right; now that we are approaching our apartment.
“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that, kid. Seriously.” Starlight says, beginning her final descent towards the apartment door. “Also, don’t fret that I wasn’t chatting with you while we rode home. I got a UniPhone call from Trixie, and she’s trying to write an official statement for both the Equestrian and human presses. Work call.” Starlight clears this up for me.
Flicking the reins slightly, Starlight descends, and with a gentle clip-clop of her hooves, lands at the front door of our home. With a swift, gentle motion, I quickly dismount Starlight. Just as I finished removing Starlight’s bridle, she grabs me with her wings and kisses me deeply. I was a bit surprised by this direct affectionate display. She is very passionate with this kiss, probing my mouth with her tongue. After a few awkward moments, she lets me go, and sighs.
“S…sorry about that. I just needed to vent my love for you right now. I need all hooves, er…hands on deck to help open my school. I thought putting everything aside and prioritizing my love for you for just a minute would-.”
I tap her nose lightly, making Starlight blush. I open the door of our apartment using a quick spell, and Starlight goes inside, as do I, following her lead. “The entire Equestrian legal code is on the top left shelf, Noah. But first…” She quickly teleports the two of us into her bedroom, and her eyes are giving off a sultry look.
“Give your marefriend some well-deserved love!” She asks, playfully pleading with me. Not wanting to upset Starlight at all, I quickly oblige, removing my shoes and pants, quickly launching myself onto her bed. Starlight chuckles at my enthusiasm, and quickly lunges forward in bed and wraps her front hooves around my shoulders. “Before we comb through the data, why don’t you just relax, huh? ” Starlight says. I know where this is going! I quickly smile, and go in for my own kiss!
“Of course, milady. Let’s just keep this round of passion short. I need to look through stuff, too!” I chuckle. Starlight pushes me down onto the bed and playfully holds me in place with her front hooves, now that we’re done kissing.
She kisses me on the lips, and then on the cheek, and she kisses me lower and lower, until…
“Found it! Don’t worry. I’ve told you before, size doesn’t matter, it’s effort. Human males must have smaller ones than stallions. It’s the perfect size for me!” Starlight says, referring to something that separates the men from the boys…
And then, she pulls down my trousers with her magic, and…well…let’s just say that it was divine!
Sometime later…
A good ninety minutes have passed, and the two of us are in a cold sweat. So much for keeping it short… Starlight is curled up next to me, her mane acting like a pillow. We’re both totally winded from our hour and a half of passion, and trying to compose ourselves for the trying moments ahead of us. But…I could enjoy this cuddling for a bit more, can’t I? Starlight’s warm fur is comforting me, and knowing that there is a creature who loves me unconditionally is extremely reassuring.
Starlight wraps all four hooves around me and pulls me in for a tight, warm embrace. It’s a bit much, but I don’t particularly mind. I’ve never been much of a touchy-feely person, but I know that Starlight has attachment issues, so I need to let her deal with those on her own.
“Mhm…we should get up and start combing over the archives. I’ll Uniphone Twilight…” Starlight says, muffled by her head is buried in my chest. I gently squirm out underneath from Starlight and quickly put on my clothes from before.
“I think that’s a good idea. You said the legal codes are on the top shelf, right?” I ask, trying to remember what Starlight told me before we wasted the past ninety minutes. She sits up and nods. “Yes, top shelf. I’ll be there in a minute, Noah.” Starlight says, igniting her horn to UniPhone Twilight. Maybe she’ll call somepony else? All I know for sure is that I have to get cracking!
Making my way to the living room, I approach the rather large bookshelf, and spot the first volume of the Equestrian legal code. With a quick spell, I gravitate the book towards me, and I grab it. I quickly reorient myself to the sofa and sit down. I take a deep breath, and open the book to the first page…
***
Princess Luna:
It seems we have been out of the loop for quite some time, and no, this is not referring to the millennium of exile we endured! It didn’t occur to us in the slightest that Tia’s democratic reforms have this much influence on the individual mandate of a Princess. Twilight is a rather moderate pony, and really, if Chancellor Neighsay has any quarrels with anypony, it should really be with the newly crowned Starlight! Perhaps the Moon should bide her time before consulting with Twilight, as she seems to be rather distraught, and the last thing anypony should do is pour fuel onto a fire.
Thankfully, Tia had just finished parlaying with her prized pupil, and she noticed that we were currently available to speak to. She trots over to us and sits on a bridge chair, which is now available upon the event being abruptly canceled. “Hello, Luna. What’s on your mind?” Tia asks, eager to know what she can do to ensure her sister’s wellbeing. We need to think of a proper method of explaining how we feel to Tia.
The last time we told Tia how her sister truly felt, it led to our banishment for one thousand years. While she has been better at being a good listener, the hesitation remains within us to be forthcoming and honest. However, this situation is different. Not only do we potentially possess the means to solve a problem, but this issue affects not only our pony subjects but beings from another realm! It couldn’t possibly hurt to disclose our secrets at this juncture, right?
“Well…we didn’t anticipate or appreciate Chancellor Neighsay’s rather impromptu closure of Twilight’s school. Hay, even the other Elements of Harmony were up in hooves over it. ‘Tis really true the subjects of Appleloosa harbor such archaic views of Friendship?” We ask our elder sister. To be frank, we are not truly one to criticize somepony for this infraction, as we have over a millennium of culture to catch up on. Our views and even manner of speech are more befitting of Ancient Equestria than her current, more modern epoch. Thankfully, Tia and even Twilight have been rather candid with us, aiding in our progression. Celestia sighs, and nods; signaling we were correct in our assumption.
“Yes, Luna. They are. That doesn’t make them right, but they, like all ponies in Equestria, have the right to be heard in the Horseshoe, and Chancellor Neighsay is doing his civic duty by representing them. Be at ease, Luna. This issue will be solved in due time.” Celestia says, trying to be reassuring. There is just one tiny issue with this outlook: How can Tia be reassuring?! There are human children with special needs being overlooked over partisan politics!
“Tia, we’re ashamed of thee; truly! How can one be so objective and emotionless when vulnerable human children, who we assume aren’t loved or accepted by their own race, finally have an opportunity to learn Friendship, only for petty partisanship to infringe on their success!” Perhaps we are a bit too invested in this endeavor to be objective, but good things only get done when a pony cares about it!
Our rather direct and unprincesslike comment sets Tia back for a brief moment. She probably wasn’t anticipating us to truly care about these human pupils. The agent of the sun thinks pensively, before finally coming up with a reply, befitting her nature. “Luna, tell me. You’ve developed a liking for one of these humans, haven’t you?” How preposterous! We haven’t had any physical attractions towards these humans, unlike some other Princess we know who’d be content seeing the entire Canterlot nobility executed!
“Tia, how dare thee! We do not harbor any lustful feelings towards humans, and most of them are children, anyway! There are laws to prevent such abuses, and-” Celestia chuckles, and gently interrupts us, tapping our left wing with her golden white hoof. Now is not the time for jokes, Tia. When shalt thee learn the proper times for humor and nonsense? Within our lifetime, nay, probably not!
“Not like that, Luna. Come on! I mean in a maternal sense. Caring for their wellbeing, wishing for them to succeed in whatever they choose to pursue, and loving them unconditionally!” Oh, fiddlesticks! How foalish were we to assume that the only kind of affection is physical!
“Well, when thou hast explained the criteria properly, then aye, we do care for one human.” We reply. Celestia probably knows who we’re referring to, right?
“Let me guess, LuLu. You care for Starlight’s rider, right? What was the boy’s name…”
“Indeed. We relate to Noah deeply and wish for him to do whatever he desires. As thou hath explained earlier, we only love him like a mother would love her foal, I do not wish to cohabit with him!”
“I know, Luna, I know. Back to what I was trying to get at.” Our sister quickly changes tune and casts a spell. A medium-sized papyrus scroll is magicked, bearing the seal of the Two Sisters. This must be an old document, then! We love anything from the era of our youth! Her golden magic gently passes us the scroll, and it is placed in our lap.
“This is information that will be incredibly useful to our newest princess and her human “rider.” Since you are more acquainted with him than I am, I assume I can trust you to deliver this piece of information to them?”
In a normal situation, we would be appalled to perform such a menial chore not befitting a princess! However, the times right now are the furthest from normal, and our actions could have a lasting impact on policy for aeons. We are more than willing to deliver this parchment to Starlight Glimmer, the new, rather blunt monarch. “It would be our pleasure to deliver this scroll to those two, Tia. Many thanks!”
We get up from our chair, and tuck the scroll into our saddlebag. Just as we were about to spread our wings and take off, I feel a tap on my barrel, and it’s not from our sister. Who could it be, and why are they audacious enough to touch their Princess without permission?! We turn our head around to try and deduce the mysterious creature, and we see…
***
Maud Pie:
I feel like I’ve missed a lot, lately. I promised to help out with this Friendship school, but I wasn’t really called on yet. I get it. Ponies are busy. I’m not offended in the slightest. However, this seems like a perfect scenario for me to get involved, as if the Friendship School closes before it can even open, things could only go downhill from there!
“Sup, Luna.” I say, taking the moon princess by surprise. She is aghast at the informal manner in which I communicated with her, and was moments away from zapping me to smithereens, had Celestia not tapped Luna on the shoulder, advising her to hold her fire.
“She means well, Luna. Cease.” Celestia says, calming her sister down. “It’s true. I do mean well. I am part of Princess Starlight’s staff, actually.” Luna calms down and looks at me more carefully.
“Remind us who thou art, again? We’ve met many a creature in the past moon, so our memory is a bit overwhelmed.” Luna says, totally forgetting who I am. Again, not offended, I am a bland pony, who most ponies ignore. I got used to it.
“Well…do you know my sister, Pinkie Pie?” I ask, trying to find some common footing with the lunar deity. “Why yes, of course! She is the Element of Laughter, and the best party planner in all of Equestria!” I chuckle. I’m glad the Ponkster’s got a good reputation ahead of her. If only I can say the same…
“Well, I’m her sister Maud. Geologist extraordinaire, and one-time rock confidant of Starlight Glimmer. I was the pony who found her magic gem that removed Cutie Marks back in the day…but that’s behind me. I want Starlight to do well. I assume you do, too. You’re heading her way, right?” I ask, Luna quickly nodding that she is, indeed heading to Glimmer’s house.
“Truth be told, we do not know how to navigate properly to her domicile. Can thou act as our guide?” Luna asks me, a bit puzzled. I’m not a good navigator unless you count mines, quarries, or anything geological. That doesn’t mean I don’t know where Starlight’s flat is. Besides, Luna asked me, it would be idiotic to refuse a request of a Princess.
“Eh, why not. Just don’t fly. Got it?” I ask, trying to level the playing field. Luna nods again. “We shalt travel like an Earth Pony for thine convenience,” Luna says, waiting for me to begin leading the way to Starlight’s apartment. Celestia waves goodbye, and takes off, leaving me and Luna to our own devices.
This is actually kind of cool! I was entrusted with escorting Princess Luna somewhere. I’d wager not many ponies receive this honor, so I am going to try and enjoy every single moment. Turning right, I begin my trek toward Starlight’s apartment, and Princess Luna follows my every hoofstep. She seems to have something on her mind, and I am a bit nosy. Might as well ask what’s up!
“Princess Luna, quick question: What was the scroll that Celestia gave you? Is it something important, potentially related to rocks , even?” I ask, being somewhat playful. Luna sighs, and shrugs her shoulders.
“Truth be told, Maud Pie, we haven’t even unsealed the scroll. We determined that waiting for Starlight to make a decision regarding this information would be proper at this juncture, since testifying before a Bridle committee is quite daunting! ‘Tis not something we’d recommend to anypony!” Luna quickly replies.
Testifying in the Bridle, huh? This day’s getting crazier and crazier. Starlight’s been through Tartarus and back, so I am sure she can handle whatever shenanigans this Chancellor Neighsay will throw at her. After another fifteen minutes of trotting, we finally arrive at the apartment complex where she lives. The auburn bricks reflect off sunlight, and I carefully lead Princess Luna up the metal staircase to Starlight’s apartment.
“Maud, pray tell why a crowned monarch would elect to live in penury?! This is one of the poorer sections of Ponyville, if we recall correctly!” Luna asks, somewhat horrified at Starlight’s decision to live in a rent-controlled flat.
“Luna, I don’t know what the hay runs through that mare’s mind, but I’d wager it has something to do with her politics. She wants to relate to the ponies she is entrusted to rule, so she lives like them.” I reply, finally approaching Starlight’s apartment. Luna is right behind me, and I knock on the door.
“Glimmer, it’s Maud. Open up! I brought Luna, too! We’re here to help!” I say, hoping that Starlight will hear us arrive. Maybe she’s busy? Nah, that’s not like her. The door quickly gets enveloped in her signature magical hue, and it opens, inviting me and Princess Luna inside. Starlight and her human rider, Noah, (I think that’s his name?) are both fully immersed in massive books, and I was a bit surprised to see that even Twilight was here. Luna is relieved to see her fellow princesses, and quickly glides over to embrace them.
“Hey, Luna. You here for the cramming?” Twilight says, joking around with Luna. Luna, on the other hoof, is not amused and quickly takes out the parchment scroll, sealed with the emblem of the Two Sisters. Not being one to be left out, I trot over to the mauve faux-leather sofa, and sit down, eyeing the giant legal codices that Noah and Starlight are reading.
Starlight Glimmer is crazy. She’s going through some twenty-five pages a second, and is seemingly grasping all of the dense legal jargon with ease! Her rider ain’t too far behind her, going through some twenty pages per second; although I’d assume that’s because his magic isn’t as advanced as his pony paramour. The real question remains: Where’s Trixie? Twilight notices me, and waves.
“Hey, Maud! In case you were wondering, I dropped off Rebecca at my castle, and she’s managing the PR nightmare that Neighsay started. She’s giving a press conference now, actually. I think Trixie, Lyra, and Bon Bon are on their way here. I did UniPhone Lyra and Trixie to come here, posthaste for a Friendship School Staff Study Session!” Twilight says cheerfully, catching us all up on the plan. I turn my head around and see three ponies on their way here. Must be them, I do see the blue, green, and yellow hues on their bodies!
Starlight chuckles at this. “We’re having a full staff meeting, and I’m back to my roots with political activism. Isn’t this fun?!” She asks Noah, who hugs the mare sitting next to him. She gives him a side hug with her right wing, and Twilight and Luna both chuckle.
“How pleasant to see this human boy not only befriend but court, a pony.” Luna chuckles, opening the door for Lyra, Trixie, and Bon Bon. The whole gang’s here, and we’re going to cram for Twilight! We have to open this School of Friendship, not only for the nonpony students but for the humans, too!
“Hi, everypony!” Bon Bon says, waving to everycreature in the room. Twilight waves, but is very serious.
“No time for pleasantries now, Bon Bon. You three should get cracking! We’ve got some studying to do!” Twilight says, eager to continue. Let’s save the School!
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 27: The Scroll That Changes Everything
Starlight Glimmer:
My apartment now is bustling with life. Normally, I am more of a reclusive mare, trying to keep to myself and my close friends, but now, the entire school staff is here! Trixie is eagerly jotting down some notes on how to aid Twilight, and everypony else is keeping to themselves for the moment. I don’t know enough about Maud Pie, but I feel somewhat fulfilled that basically everypony on this room is either friends or friendly with Noah. His Friendship Studies are going swimmingly! I’m so proud of him.
“Hey, Trixie, where’s your human friend?” Bon Bon asks the showmare, wondering where Rebecca is right now. Since Noah brought his sister to Equestria with him, those two have been inseparable, and it’s quite bizarre for them to be apart for long periods of time. Trixie sighs, and drags her front hooves over her face in mental anguish. “Trixie had to leave her rider back at Twilight’s castle. She’s dealing with the human government representatives and the fiasco Neighsay caused. She’s a good press worker!”
To be honest, I am not surprised by this development. Rebecca has proven herself to be an excellent public relations official with regard to human-pony interactions. Somecreature ’s gotta do it, right? It doesn’t matter, anyway. Right before Lyra, Bon Bon, and Trixie came, Noah and I found a very important piece of information in a previous civil suit.
“So, I have something I need to show Princess Twilight.” I say, bringing the attention of all who are present. Twilight nods. “So, let me see, let me see!” She’s quite eager to see what I found. I smile, and my horn lights up. All eyes turn towards my mahogany desk, where a medium sized tome begins to levitate in the air with my signature magical embrace. It quickly flips open, and levitates towards my teacher. The page that it opens on discusses a legal case a few years before the Elements of Harmony, discussing Friendship statutes. Everycreature in the room quickly surrounded Twilight, and looked at the page.
Braeburn V. Orange:
Abstract: The plaintiff Braeburn filed suit in the Appleloosa court, claiming that the Orange family disciminated against him based on his family lineage. The court ruled 5-4 that Braeburn’s constitutional right to unconditional Friendship was bring infringed on baseless prejudice. Superior Justice Book Binder said in the majority ruling: “Princess Celestia enshrined Friendship for all her citizens, and discrimination based on lineage is against the core values of our land. Braeburn should be able to purchase orange crops without restriction. ”
Luna chuckles. I take it she’s never seen this legal case before, since it was before her banishment ended. “This is quite humorous, Twilight. Did thou knoweth about this?” Luna asks. Twilight smiles, and realizes that this case could be the very tool we need to defeat Neighsay’s baseless Hoofibustering.
“Did this case get appealed by the Oranges?” Twilight asks me. Noah nods, and continues where I left off. “It did, but the Supreme Court in Canterlot upheld the Appleoosa court’s ruling. I’m suprised that Neighsay didn’t do his homework, or the rest of his caucus, for that matter!” He says, quite smug with himself. Maud and Trixie are totally confused by this, but Luna quietly explains it to them.
“Hold up, if this court case says that Friendship is unconditional, did it specify WHO this right is enshrined to?” Lyra asks, quickly grabbing the legal code from Twilight, and scanning it for herself. Bon Bon might be a teacher, but dense texts aren’t in her wheelhouse, so she let her marefriend comb through the text on her own.
I smile, and let everycreature in on my idea.
“It doesn’t specify. That’s how we’re going to win. We’re going to MAKE it seem like this includes all creatures, even those from Earth. It’s brilliant! If Noah hadn’t found this case, and I hadn’t come up with this plan, we’d be dead on arrival!” I exclaim, giving Noah a high five. Twilight is quite pleased with me. I’d take it she would take credit for this. I don’t care. Friendship is important to me, but Justice is my mandate, and Friendship is hers!
“Wait wait wait…who’s tesitfying, exactly?” Maud Pie asks us. Twilight Sparkle raises her hoof. “I’m going to deal with Neighsay. Maybe Starlight if she gets subpoenaed, but everypony else is on the support staff. Does that work?” The purple alicorn asks. Everycreature nods their heads in agreement. Still, Princess Luna is fidgeting with her front hooves, eyeing a scroll that she placed on the table when she arrived. She pipes up with her two bits.
“This makes sense, dear Twilight. However, we still didn’t cover the most important part. Our sister gave us this scroll, and we’d assume thou hath the capacity to comprehend its contents better than anypony, er…creature here. Would analyzing this scroll be possible?”
Twilight’s magical signature grabs the ancient looking scroll, sealed with the emblem of the Two Sisters. Quickly donning her reading glasses, she prys the contents of the scroll, looking at whatever ancient text might be written there. In her typical erudite fashion, it takes Twilight Sparkle no more than a few brief moments to read everything on the scroll.
“Holy Celestia…” She whispers, quickly pawing off the scroll back to me.
“What does it say, Twilight?” Trixie pipes in, seemingly more focused now with the topic at hoof than before.
Twilight’s face breaks out into a smirk: “Noah’s not the first human to come here.”
***
Noah:
Wait, WHAT?! I’m not the first human to come here? I don’t get it! Everyone here, even Celestia, said I was the first human to come here. What aren’t they telling me, or anyone, for that matter! Starlight looks at me and laughs. “You’re joking, right Twi?” My marefriend asks, before reading the scroll for herself. Her maw drops wide open, and she’s in shock and awe.
“This is just as surprising to us as it is to thee, Starlight. We truly didn’t know this tidbit of information.” Luna says, quite puzzled by this damning piece of information. “Come, constellation of ours, read the scroll for thyself, and tell us what we could learn from the perspective of Man!” Aw, I love how she calls me a constellation. Everypony chuckles, even Maud. Luna smiles, and quickly pats me on the head with her hoof. “Come, child. Read it to us.” Luna asks, beckoning me to grab the scroll for myself.
I cast my own spell, with a similar signature of Starlight’s. The warm, magical energy gravitates the papyrus towards me, and eventually the scroll falls into my hands. Starlight looks at me eagerly, and gives me the “you can do it” look. “Don’t forget to cast the Universal Translation Spell, Noah! I taught it to you recently, remember?” Starlight reminds me. That’s right. The scroll is in Ponish. I quickly cast the Universal Translation Spell, and the contents of the scroll translate themselves into English.
“So, Noah, what does it say?” Lyra asks me. I begin to read:
“To my little ponies reading this many aeons from now,
My name is Total Eclipse, but my subjects calls me Fausticorn. I am a very happy and content ruler. I just gave birth to twin foals, Celestia and Luna. Right now, the kingdom is in good hooves, since we just peacefully dealt with the Windigos a fortnight ago. Exactly seven days ago, my life, and possibly the kingdom itself changed forever. I lost someone very dear to me. I still don’t know how it happened, but one day, I was doing my rounds over the skies of Equestria. I had just raised the sun for a new day, and I saw something odd. Crwaled up in a fetal position on a grassy knoll was a very strange creature.
I had never seen anything like it! The poor thing had no fur to keep it warm, and it was probably a child! The youngster looked no older than a foal who had just got their Cutie Mark. Being a kind mare, I quickly landed on the knoll, and went to investigate the situation.
After slow, careful communication, I learned that the creature was a female, and her name was Athena. She claims to be part of a race called “man”, but the females are known as “woman”. I had never seen anything like it! Considering that I had never seen a “woman” before, I kindly asked the youngster how she managed to find herself here, all by herself. She told me that she was sent away from her home, because she was different. She doesn’t know how she got here, but she arrived the night before.
I felt a strong urge to at least provide rudimentary care for the child. I told the child she could stay for a short while in my castle. She was very pleased to hear that. I began to fly towards the castle, but the child stayed put. I asked her why she didn’t follow me, and she said it was because humans cannot fly.
The human was a bit audacious, and quickly scrambled up my body and placed herself atop me. I was horrified by this. I am a deity, for crying out loud. I expressed concern, but “Athena” told me that “man” does this with their animals for travel, and her people treated them kindly. Being somewhat of an open minded mare, I entertained the idea, and allowed myself to carry her to my home.
This proved to be a very successful endeavor, as the movements of my body, the flapping of my wings, and the comfort of my mane seemed to provide the child with joy. She laughed, she giggled, and she cheered for me. I felt like I provided the young one with some happiness.
Athena lived with me for six years before tragedy struck. The Windigos came back to my realm, and they preyed on the moth vulnerable. At this point, I had grown close with the child, and even began to teach her magic. My daughters were still very young, so I got to know all three of them quite well. Athena had proven herself to be quite versatile in the art of healing magic, and I’d wager if she was a pony, her cutie mark would have something to do with healing and providing aid.
Athena made me a special outfit called a “saddle”, which made both of us more comfortable while I carried her. It looks rather fashionable! She equipped me with this outfit, which comprises the saddle itself, a silly rope I need to wear in my mouth, and a place for the girl to place her center of gravity. The outfit is a bit silly, but I grew accustomed to it, since she needed me to go from point a to point b. We rode into battle against the Windigos, aided by my prized pupil Starswirl the Bearded.
We fought long and hard, but the Windigos unleashed a powerful icy pulsar at Athena, which mortally wounded her. I was heartbroken, and I felt like I lost my own foal, even though I only knew her for six short years. After I provided for her burial, I asked my pupil Starswirl to trace where Athena came from. He did some due diligence, and found her realm, which was another world, distant leagues away from Equestria!
While he didn’t determine how she managed to get here, we both decided allowing unfettered access to this planet, as beneficial as it might be to its children, was too dangerous. I had lost the child. I cast a very powerful spell on the planet Equus, preventing any accidental quantum transfers from Athena’s planet. However, there is a key caveat in the spell.
If there ever comes a time where “man” is in need of the bond that I made with Athena, Equestria herself will find a way to bring the magic of friendship to them, whatever it takes. It could be tomorrow, or it could be in tens of thousands of years! All I know is that my love for that girl…my daughter. Could potentially save another “man”’s life.
If you have found this scroll, dear pony, the time is nigh. Take up the mantle of your first ruler, and befriend “man” before it is too late!”
When I had finished reading this scroll from Total Eclipse, who I assume was the first ever Equestrian monarch, the entire room went quiet. As the expression goes, you could hear a pin drop!
“...Wait, how do we not remember this human child Athena? If she lived in our mother’s home with us for six years, why do we not remember her at all?” Luna asks anycreature willing to listen. Twilight seems to know the answer, but is not entirely sure.
“I’d wager the spell Total Eclipse cast all those millenia ago wiped your memories. It must have been very powerful magic!” Twilight concludes. This answer seems to have satisfied Luna’s query, but I am now in a bit of an existential crisis. What conditions were met that triggered the revocation of a millennia old spell, preventing humans from coming to this world?!
Starlight sees the look of worry on my face, and gives me a cheery smile. “Hey, don’t pout, kid.” She reassures me. Trixie, on the other hand, was freaking out, afraid of something really bad potentially happening.
“Uhh, everypony? Aren’t you all worried that the revocation of Total’s spell means that either humanity or ponykind is in imminent danger?” Trixie, the Great and Cowardly says. Lyra and Bon Bon aren’t buying it.
“Trixie, calm down. If you listened to what Noah read to us, you’d know that the spell being undone means that progress has been made. Ponykind and humanity need each other now, and I’d wager the other creatures on Equus need the humans, too. Having more friends is always a good thing!” Bon Bon explains. Twilight couldn’t happen to agree more.
“Bon Bon is right, Trixie. Noah’s arrival means that Friendship, true Friendship, is mere hoofsteps away! I need to go tell Princess Celestia! This could make or break the case in the Bridle!”
Starlight grins, very pleased with herself. “Now we have a smoking gun! We have the legal prcedent in Braeburn V. Orange , and we have this journal entry from the first Equestrian monarch. Neighsay is going to cower in his hooves! He’s got NO chance!”
Maud Pie can’t help but smile at this whole situation. “Huh. humans have been here before. Hay, Fausticorn invented riding, and Chairpony Glimmer over here co-opted it!” She chuckles to herself. My marefriend ignored the snide comment, and quickly read and reread the document that I presented to the group.
Twilight’s horn lights up, and she begins to send off UniPhone frequencies. I take it she’s talking to Princess Celestia? Not surprised. “Glimmer, you HAVE to teach me how to use that thing. I can use magic, so why can’t I use this?” I ask quietly. Starlight takes a minute to think over my proposition, before shushing me. “Later, Noah. Now, we need to get our bucking act together to save my…our school!”
***
Twilight Sparkle
Sweet merciful horseshoes… This is a HUGE discovery! How didn’t I piece this together weeks ago when the Cutie Map alerted me to Noah’s condition, or even with Anastasia just showing up here! Maybe Princess Celestia knows? I mean, if Luna doesn’t know, what are the chances Celestia does? My head is racing all over the place…
“This is nuts, NUTS! I tell you. Imagine how many poor humans could have been saved over…wait, how old is this document? Can you do some magical dating on this?” Maud asks. I quickly zap the document with my magic, and the answer appears in front of us all: 480 BCE.
“Holy crap. The name Athena makes sense now.” Noah says, quickly casting a spell of his own, showing a world map of his planet.
“The poor kid came from Ancient Greece! Pegasi existed in human mythology at the time, although they weren’t proven to be real on Earth. No wonder Athena had no qualms talking to Fausticorn!”
Ancient Greece? I’ll need to check up on that later. Sounds interesting, if we’re being honest! Luna looks at me carefully, before looking at the document again. Something seems to be troubling her.
“Twilight. We have a query. Doth thou thinketh our sister knows about our mother’s exploits, or will she be just as surprised as we were mere moments ago?” This is actually a really good question, and I am not totally sure how to properly respond. I might as well try, right?
“Uh…well I just UniPhoned her while Noah over here was having an existential crisis. I’d take it she’ll have an answer for us soon enough, right?”
“Yeah, she probably will. I remember back at school she was very quick to help us when we had questions for her.” Lyra chimes, reassuring the more skepitcal among us about Princess Celestia’s punctuality. In my experience, she gets back to me within minutes!
Noah looks at me for a minute, before he poses a question of his own: “Hey, Princess Twilight. Is this Neighsay guy intelligent. Do you think he’ll come up with his own arguments on how to prevent the school from opening? How are we going to counter them if he has them?” Oh, horseapples! I didn’t even think of that! “I got this, kid. Trust me. I know how to deal with the Canterlot Elite. Most of them are jerks, anyway.” Starlight says, making her human partner chuckle. They exchange a silly look, before high fiving.
As soon as those two were done goofing off, my horn and the horn of every unicorn/alicorn in the room (and Noah’s hands) began to glow in their respective magical signatures. This could be one of two different things. It could either be the Cutie Map calling them, or a powerful magical source arriving near us. It’s probably the latter, because the Cutie Map usually summons ponies by triggering a nerve reflex in the Cutie Mark itself.
Noah turns his head behind him to look out the window, and sees Princess Celestia gliding down towards Starlight’s flat. She gracefully lands in front of the door, and lets herself in. “Sorry for the delay, everycreature . I flew here as fast as I could. Now, what the hay was in that scroll? I assume it was important, because it was just floating in the Castle of the Two Sisters ever since Noah first got here.”
Wait, she doesn’t know?! Oh boy, this is going to take a while; especially considering that her mother is the mare who met the first human in Equestria, not my student Starlight Glimmer! I can only imagine how well this is going to play out…
“Do you want the short version or the long version, Princess?” Starlight asks. We all chuckle, but Celestia quickly puts on a more serious tone. “I want this school to open as much as all of you. Can this information help with our case against Neighsay?” Celestia asks. She sits down on the sofa next to her sister, and picks up the scroll for herself.
After a few minutes of careful reading, Princess Celestia loses all the blood in her face, and goes pale. “...Mother found the first human!”
I sincerely hope this information will make our case in the Bridle, and not ruin our chances. I don’t know how it will play out, and it could honestly go either way! Still, humans were in Equestria 3 millennia ago! That’s crazy!
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 28: Princess Twilight OWNS Chancellor Neighsay With FACTS AND LOGIC!
Starlight Glimmer:
A few more days come and go after the new revelation that Noah wasn’t the first human to visit Equestria. Everycreature on the School of Friendship staff is now confident that this discovery will prove to be the ace in the hole for Twilight when she testifies in the Bridle hearing today! Noah and I are currently in the air, en route to the Horseshoe building in Canterlot. I spent the past few days giving Princess Twilight some debating lessons. To be honest, it felt kind of weird to be the one teaching her, since usually, I am the pony who learns from her; not the other way around!
What I am most impressed about is how much progress my rider has been making in his own Friendship studies, since we’ve pivoted from his own personal lessons to setting up my new school of Friendship. I think that once the school is up and running, I can make Noah a full graduate. He’s so close! In the meantime, we’re riding on a nice tailwind, which makes our flight slightly faster.
“So, Starlight. Quick question. How well did you train Twilight for her hearing today? We’ve held red-room (mock trial) sessions in the Ponyville castle for almost a week, and Twilight still seems to struggle with cross-examination. Do you think she’ll buckle under the pressure?” Noah asks me. He helped me write some of the opposition questions, and our team is working around the clock to make sure Neighsay gets what he deserves.
“Well…I think she’ll do just fine. Your sister and Trixie are taking the train, and they’ll probably be there before us. Their train left a few hours ago. Lyra is with Twilight in Canterlot already, and Bon Bon, Maud, and your mom are in Ponyville, making sure that the few human students who’ve stayed put have adequate accommodations. I think the rest of the Mane Six will also be in Canterlot for the hearings, but I am not entirely sure.” I reply. Noah takes a minute to think about my response, while he’s watching the clouds go by underneath us. Really? Now he zones out?
“Darn it, kid. Now’s not the time to zone out! I get it, your Aspergers and ADD make it hard to follow long conversations, but this is important. Please get it together!” I kindly remind him, with a bit of agita in my voice. He fidgets a bit on my back, before taking a deep breath. “Sorry Starlight. I am always a bit nervous when we have to do “Princess” stuff. To answer your question, I’ve known Twilight for a few months. I find that when she’s by herself, she can get easily cornered, but when she’s with her friends, nothing and nopony can stop her. If the “Mane Six” are in the hearing gallery, I think she will do just fine.” Noah reassures me, giving me a gentle pat on my neck.
I see the Canterlot skyline ahead of me. Noah does too, and he spurs me to speed up a bit. I take it my rider is tired of dealing with the stress and wants to get this over with. I get it, I really do! I feel for the human.
“Now, hold on, mister Noah. Your marefriend is going to give you the scenic flight! Please keep your hands and legs inside the mare at all times. We’ll be in Canterlot shortly.” I declare, tilting my wings downwards to begin our descent.
“Wait, Starlight. What time is the hearing?” Noah asks me, forgetting what we went over this morning. “High noon. Princess Celestia will be presiding over the hearing, and Chancellor Neighsay will be the pony interrogating Twilight. Depending on the situation, we might have to testify, as well. I think Twilight can handle this one on her own, but I can’t know for sure.” I think that answer will suffice, for now.
A few more minutes of riding come and go, and I finally land gracefully at the front door of the Horseshoe building. It is shaped like, well, a horseshoe, and it is where most legislative actions in Equestria are debated and codified. Princess Celestia signs the bills into law and depending on the case, it may go to Princess Luna for a “two-pony verification” procedure. Noah climbs off my back and casts a quick spell to dress himself in more appropriate attire for testimony.
“Your magic is getting really good. Who taught you that one?!” I quip, a bit surprised by Noah’s choice of wearing a sharp lawyer’s suit and tie.
“Rarity. Duh. After your coronation, she took my measurements and made me a few outfits. I just know how to put on the clothes , not tailor them. I’m surprised she knows how to make clothes for males!” Noah says, astonished.
Poor guy. Noah’s got to work on timing! Rarity is coming along for the hearing, and she has a human child on her back, too! It’s that boy, Shaun, the nonverbal one!
“Darling, I have ears! Of course, I can make clothing for males, even human males!” Rarity pouts. I take it she hasn’t learned how to talk while wearing a bridle, yet? I used to sound like that, too! Noah blushes, before shaking Rarity’s hoof. “Rarity, that’s NOT what I meant. It was supposed to be a compliment at your many talents, and-.”
Rarity laughs. “Oh come on, Noah, I was joking! I know you don’t harbor malice. Now…about Shaun.” She says, referring to the young man astride her. Shaun didn’t say anything, but his brown face clearly emoted joy, something that I haven’t seen him emote before.
“He’s a gifted artist! Isn’t that right?” Rarity asks her rider. He nods and casts a spell to show some of his sketches. Wait…there are more humans who know magic now?!
Noah couldn’t help but laugh. “Welcome to the wizard club, Shaun. Let me guess, you fused souls with Rarity?” He asks the young man. Shaun nods, petting the mare with affection. “It’s purely platonic, darlings. I just wanted to give the young man the means to enhance his skills. Besides, he helps me with the preliminary sketches for my clothes!”
Noah whispers into my ear “Shaun must be an autistic savant. Look at how detailed his drawings are! Even my sister can’t draw that well!” From what I remember about autism, somehumans with it have highly advanced skills in a specific area of interest, while being heavily deficient in other areas. Nevertheless, my thesis is that anycreature can learn Friendship. If Shaun got Rarity, who’s one of the “Mane Six” to befriend him, then certainly other humans can follow suit!
Rarity turns around with Shaun, looking to see if any of her other friends are on their way. “Aw, fiddlesticks. Everypony else must either be tardy or inside. I think we can make our way inside, don’t you, Princess Starlight?” Rarity asks, helping her new friend Shaun dismount her.
“Ok, take the bridle out like this…” Rarity guides the human on how to remove the bridle, and Rarity zaps the saddle away, shaking her mane. “Ok. We’ll practice again later.” Rarity says, smiling and embracing Shaun. Shaun returns the hug, and then those two go inside the Horseshoe building.
“Noah. The Bridle chamber is on the second floor. It makes sense because it’s the upper chamber of the Horseshoe! Come along now, let’s see Princess Twilight kick some flank!” I jest, trotting in front of Noah. He follows me eagerly, quite interested in learning more about Equestrian politics. He is the “Rider of Justice” so he’s going to learn rather quickly!
***
Princess Twilight Sparkle:
I think I practiced enough? It doesn’t matter, anyway. I am sitting on a rather uncomfortable wooden chair inside the Bridle chambers, going over some key documents. I’m happy that Rebecca triple-checked my remarks. As good of an orator as I am, sometimes I need to have a third party proofread in case my anxiety gets in the way! I have autism too, you know! It just manifests differently in mares than in stallions. I’ve gotten good at masking it, but I detest public addresses! They are the worst!
“Breathe, Twilight. Just breathe. You can do this. A hearing isn’t the end of the world, even if the pony your up against wants to usurp everything you’ve fought for.” I remind myself, before noticing that Rarity and…somehuman I don’t recognize enter the chamber.
“Hi, Darling! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Shaun and I came here to show our support. We all want your School of Friendship to succeed. Our other friends are on their way, and Princess Starlight and Noah are right behind me!” Rarity says, finding her seat in the viewers’ gallery along with Shaun. A few seconds later, Noah and Starlight enter the room and both wave.
“Hey!” Starlight says, teleporting next to me on the other side of the hall. I feel more relaxed seeing my student here. We hug and embrace with our wings. Surprisingly, Noah also teleports over here. His magic is getting quite good…still not up to par with his marefriend, but he’s reached parity with an average unicorn by now.
“Hey, thought I’d show up, too,” Noah says, giving me a high five. “Wait, am I supposed to be here, or do I need to also enter the viewing gallery?” Noah asks Starlight. I interrupt him for a moment. “You and Starlight are also going under oath today. Pull up some chairs!” I tell them. They both do so.
A good half-hour elapses before the rest of the Mane Six arrive. Rarity was the only one among them to have a human companion with her, so I take it nopony else was interested? Surely not, perhaps some of the humans went home for the time being. Everypony waves, and sits down in the viewers’ gallery. A few more minutes elapse, and then I see that annoying stallion Neighsay, fully decked in regalia, approach the head chair of the Bridle and sit down.
“Good afternoon, Princess Twilight.” Neighsay greets me with a fake smile.
“And to you, Chancellor Neighsay. Now, what do the fine ponies in Appleloosa have to say about this hearing? Surely they must contest to their tax dollars going towards such nonsense.” I playfully joke with him. He’s not amused, and his grey horn emotes his frustration.
“No joking around, Ma’am. It could cost you what you seek. Tread carefully. This is my chamber, not yours.” Neighsay reminds me. He then turns his attention to my fellow Princess and is in a much crosser mood.
“And good afternoon, Starlight Glimmer.” He says, not referring to my student by her proper title.
“It’s Princess Starlight , Chancellor. Only close friends or-” she looks at Noah… “students can be colloquial with me.” Good for her! Standing up for herself. She learns from the best. “We’re going to win today, Chancellor. We have some very compelling arguments to share.” Starlight grins maniacally, like when she was my adversary. Noah gives his teacher a high five, and we all quiet down, once we see Princess Celestia enter the chambers. All the nonroyal ponies bow and Celestia gives the “at ease” look, telling her subjects they can sit.
“Alrighty, I am here to preside over Chancellor Neighsay’s challenge to Princess Twilight Sparkle’s request to overturn his injunction of the School of Friendship: Ponyville Branch. Can both parties rise?” Celestia asks me.
Here we go. Neighsay and I both stand up and raise our front right hooves.
“From this point on, will everything you say be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you on the Elements of Harmony?”
“Yes,” Neighsay says.
“Yes,” I say.
“You are now both under oath. As chairpony of the Bridle, Neighsay may present his arguments first. Chancellor, you have the floor.” Celestia says. As much as I love Princess Celestia, why did she give this idiot the floor first? He’ll just stall for as long as possible and prevent me and my friends from speaking! This is so unfair!
Starlight sees me get worried and holds my hoof. “You’ll be fine, Twilight. Breathe. Just breathe.”
Chancellor Neighsay casts a projection spell onto the wall of the bridle, showing my schoolhouse. He begins to present his case.
“Princess Celestia. As we all know, I am a very big supporter of the Magic of Friendship. I co-chair the honesty caucus with Braeburn Mac, and we do what we can to ensure that Friendship is thriving in my district of Appleloosa and in all of Equestria. Nevertheless, the act of letting nonponies learn our ways could very well be our undoing.”
Neighsay changes the slide to that of a changeling.
“We know too well the threats that changelings have posed to our way of life. They can infiltrate our society easily, making them easy candidates for espionage. Did changelings not raid Canterlot, capture Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and threaten our very social fabric by removing all of our love?”
I want to scream. What does Neighsay know about the changelings? Chrysalis is a bad egg, I’ll give him that. But when changelings are given love, they don’t have to steal it from somepony else! Didn’t Thorax show us that?
He changes the slide yet again, this time to a human.
“And now, we have come across an alien race that claims to seek nothing but our hooves in friendship. Surely, Princess Celestia, you would have done your homework on this species, correct? They are killing their own planet for natural resources, hate indiscriminately, and aren't even able to make their own Friendship. Why is it our problem to provide them aid? Wouldn’t it be better to just let them rot in their own filth and focus on improving our own society? We have so many issues that we need to focus on, but instead, I am wasting my time arguing with Princess Twilight and this usurper, socialist pony about a “School of Friendship? This is a School of Lies! This is in flagrant violation of the Equestrian Constitution, and I beseech you to shut the school down.”
I am a Princess of Friendship. That means I try to get ponies to cooperate with each other and live in harmony. That doesn’t change the fact that I want to buck this pony into a tree at full force, with my alicorn magic at maximum power! Still, I need to compose myself. I have a feeling that my arguments will be quite compelling!
“Is that all, Chancellor?” Princess Celestia asks Neighsay. He nods, and sits down, deactivating his magical projector. Princess Celestia looks at me and smiles.
“Princess Twilight. You have the floor.” Celestia says, giving me the opportunity to advocate on behalf of a more universal definition of Friendship! It’s showtime!
“Before I begin, Princess Celestia, am I allowed to present evidence to the Bridle, and to Chancellor Neighsay?” I ask the Sun Princess.
“Of course, you may submit evidence to the hearing,” Celestia says, giving me a huge sense of relief. It’s a good thing that I am a talented mage, or this trick wouldn’t have worked! I’m very happy Starlight, Lyra, and Trixie helped with the extra magical juice. Now, let’s see if this magic trick will work today.
I cast a spell, showing the entire story with “Fausticorn” Total Eclipse and the human girl, Athena. Every moment from that journal entry is accurately reconstructed using magical technology, uncut, and with sound. The entire viewer’s gallery was glued to their seats. Seeing that little girl die at the hooves of those darn Windigos actually made Fluttershy cry. She was smart enough to keep her muzzle shut, but a pegasus guard had to kindly escort Fluttershy out of the room. Poor mare…
When the presentation is finally over, I deactivate my magic and begin to address Princess Celestia. “As you can see, Princess Celestia, Noah is not the first human to visit Equestria. Your mother, Total Eclipse not only befriended but adopted a human child for six years. Offering her hoof in Friendship gave that girl six more years of life than she would have had on Earth.”
I turn to face the viewer’s gallery and the other Bridle members. I’m going full Princess mode right now! “Can’t everypony see that humans, especially those with neurodiverse conditions, are in more need of Friendship than almost anycreature else? Didn’t you hear what Athena said about her own family abandoning her for being different? Ponykind has a unique opportunity to provide love, friendship, and care to a race that is in dire need of it. I don’t want any blood on my hooves, and I am sure you don’t either. Please, everypony, vote on the School of Friendship and let me and my friends do what they are best at: spreading Harmony across Equestria, and now Earth, too.”
I finish my address and sit down. Chancellor Neighsay was stunned and had a huge look of embarrassment on his face. Seeing that little punk get what he deserves gives me great joy. He is speechless, and the ponies in the viewers’ gallery give Neighsay the stink eye. Oh, how the tables have turned, Chancellor!
“Have both parties presented their case?” Celestia asks us. We both nod.
“As Princess of the Sun and Mane Monarch, I now call a vote. We need a quorum of ponies in the Bridle to vote on this matter. Roll call!”
There are one hundred ponies in the bridle. All one hundred ponies are present, and press a green button on their desk signaling their presence. Celestia casts a projection spell, with a tally.
“All one hundred ponies are here. We have a quorum. Now, you will receive two options on your ballot. A green one and a red one. The green one approves Chancellor Neighsay’s veto of Twilight’s school, while the red one discharges this case totally, and gives Twilight Sparkle full autonomy on this matter. Vote carefully, because double jeopardy means you can’t petition the court again on this!”
One by one, the ponies make their selection. One green vote, one red vote. Three green votes, one red vote. This isn’t looking good! Noah and Starlight are holding each other, and Starlight lends her wing to Noah for comfort. I hold my own wing, too, stroking my primary feathers to calm my nerves! The time goes by incredibly slowly, and I feel like I am being tortured! The tension is palpable!
Forty-nine votes each. Whoever the last vote has my entire Friendship program in their hooves. If they vote against my school…I don’t know what these humans and nonponies are going to do!
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 29: Noah The Human: Ace Attorney!
Starlight Glimmer:
You’re kidding me. You are bucking kidding me, right?! A deadlocked Bridle! Forty-nine votes for no, forty-nine for yes, and one abstention. This is absolutely absurd and makes my blood boil! Who is the damn pony who’s holding this procedure up for the rest of us? Don’t these cretins understand that by keeping the school closed, innocent kids and young adults are being left behind! Do they want innocent human blood on their hands? Innocent blood of anycreature frankly! I tap my student on the shoulder, and I cast a spell, showing him the manifest of who voted for what during this hearing. The only pony who didn’t vote yet is Fancy Pants, who represents Canterlot itself in the Bridle.
“Noah. I know a fair amount about Fancy’s voting history. He’s quite lenient on Friendship cases, but his constituents are rather intolerant, typical of their elitist status. I would hope that Fancy Pants goes above and beyond his constituents’ demands and votes his conscience. We need his vote. The darn unicorn is the kingmaker!” I explain to him. Noah looks at Twilight with concern.
“Do you know this Fancy Pants guy?” He asks my teacher. Twilight shakes her head, affirming she knows him. “I know of him, Noah. We’ve met a few times, but he’s not in my inner circle. Again, as Starlight proved to you, I know nothing about Canterlot politics, and I am a freaking princess!”
Well, that doesn’t help much. How am I supposed to know how this dolt is supposed to vote on such a crucial issue! It doesn’t matter. The abalatser unicorn lights up his horn, signaling that he wishes to speak.
“Princess Celestia, before I cast my vote, I would like to speak directly to this “man”. Is it within my powers to do so?” Fancy Pants asks the sun deity. She is sitting on her chair at the head of the Bridle, front hoof on her face in pensive thought. She nods. “Yes, you may question him. Be objective and fair. Noah, come forward. You may bring Starlight with you.”
Wait, I have to go with him, too? This is changing rather quickly. Noah stands up, and I stand up next to him. He’s sweating profusely, and I feel his heart beating rather quickly. I hope Fancy Pants is considerate of Noah’s various neurodiverse conditions and doesn’t make this harder on either of us. Noah and I step forward to the mahogany desk in front of us. Fancy Pants gets up from his seat, and eyes my student rather carefully. He clears his throat and begins his cross-examination.
“What is your name, “man”?” Fancy Pants asks, starting with a reasonable question.
“Noah, my name is Noah.” My student says, his voice quivering in fear. Fancy Pants chuckles, and smiles. “Don’t be afraid, Noah. I am not going to bug you. I just wanted to hear what you have to say for yourself regarding your stay in Equestria. You must be very lucky, to befriend a Princess and become her co-equal sovereign. Tell me what you think?”
Well, this makes things a bit easier for him. Noah looks at me, and shoots off a telepathic query: “Do I tell him everything?” He asks me, wondering if he should bother mentioning our romantic endeavors. I nod in agreement.
“Be honest. It’s what Applejack would do. Even if the truth is a bit weird, it’s better than making something up.” I reply. He severs the connection and begins his forthcoming response to Fancy Pants.
“Well, I’ve been here for a few months. Starlight showed up at my house on Earth, and she told me what her mission is.” Noah begins to explain. Fancy Pants is taking scrupulous notes on Noah’s testimony, hoping to find something that can influence his final decision. “She told me that the “Cutie Map” signaled that I was in need of a friend, and Starlight was willing to make the jump to befriend me.”
“And you have “autism”, correct. Can you explain to me what this condition entails?” Fancy Pants asks, genuinely interested in Noah’s neurodiverse state.
“Uh… Autism is complicated, Fancy Pants. Not everybody manifests the disorder in the same way. The way that I appear in front of you isn’t how Princess Twilight’s autism appears, or Maud Pie’s, or anyone else’s back on Earth. Each individual person has their own set of symptoms. That’s why it’s called a “spectrum disorder”. Now, for me, the condition just makes it difficult to be in certain social situations.” Noah tells Fancy Pants.
“Go on?” He pesters Noah.
“Well…Before I met Starlight, it wasn’t easy for me to have a conversation with someone, and I also had trouble making eye contact. Other humans frequently bullied me when I was younger for this.” Noah explains as I hold his hand. Fancy Pants takes notice of this. I wonder if this will make things worse or not!
Fancy Pants examines Noah very carefully and proceeds with his next question. “What kind of lessons did you take with Princess Starlight? What is the curriculum of the School of Friendship? If your teacher, and Princess Twilight for that matter, expect to receive any funding for this project, we need to know what these students are going to be learning.”
With a flash of Twilight Sparkle’s horn, Fancy Pants receives a compact, abridged version of the Friendship curriculum. He promptly and speedily scans through the document and smiles. He seems satisfied, but I would be an idiot to think that this would be all I needed to convince Fancy Pants of our intentions!
“This seems like a reasonable proposal, however, I have a few more questions before I decide on my vote. Now, in your opinion, Noah, tell me why humans deserve to have ponies befriend them? Chancellor Neighsay made a very compelling argument on why your race deserves to be left behind. Prove him wrong. ”
Oh gosh! This is a very abrupt turn for Fancy Pants. Even the gallery agreed with me because they all gasped in horror. Why would this pony ask an eighteen-year-old kid such a serious question? Can Noah even act as a good representative for all of humanity?! This seems like way too much to ask somecreature , neurodivergent or otherwise! Noah looks at me with a hint of fear. I give him a wink and smile. “Come on kid, you can do it. I believe in you!”
Twilight also smiles at my student with sincerity and kindness. “You can do it, Noah. We’re with with you, always.”
***
Noah:
Wait, they’re all with me? That’s reassuring, but I have NO idea how to answer a question of such serious magnitude. There are over eight billion people on Earth. Who am I to speak on their entire behalf? That seems absurd! I magick a glass of water, and chug it down. The ice-cold refreshment helps to soothe my nerves. I take a few deep breaths, and I focus.
“Come on, Noah. You got this. Your marefriend believes in you, the Princess of Friendship believes in you, and my colleagues believe in me. Do something bigger than yourself for once!” I remind myself. I take one more deep breath before I attempt to convince Fancy Pants of humanity’s merits.
“Fancy Pants. Humanity is a lost cause.” Everyone around me gasps, and Chancellor Neighsay sports a maniacal grin.
“We are guilty of all the things that Chancellor Neighsay accuses us of, from deceit, baseless hatred, and ecological collapse. We are a naturally selfish race, and spend very little time, if not none at all, caring for others. If we’re lucky, we care for ourselves as well.”
Starlight Glimmer knows where I am going with this, so she’s not too concerned with my cynicism. Twilight Sparkle, on the other hand, looks like she is about to blow a fuse. Her mulberry face is turning beet red with pure unadulterated rage, and she looks like she’s going in for the kill! The gallery also can’t believe what they’re hearing. I hear whispers of “he’s shooting himself in the foot.” and “why is he arguing against his own goals?”
“Even with all of those problems we as humans have, I still believe that some of us are worthy of Friendship. The problem with humans is that we often trust incapable people of ruling over us, and these individuals often make decisions that affect everyone. The desire for power and control warps people’s minds for the worse and turns once reasonable people into inhuman monsters. A very small group of people often make decisions on behalf of the many. It is for this reason that I believe humanity at least deserves a chance.”
Now, for the meat of the argument. The neurodiversity stuff. My personal specialty! “In one country on Earth called the United States , one in fifty-nine schoolchildren have a form of autism spectrum disorder, and one in ten have a learning disability. These kids aren’t able to socialize or experience things like their neurotypical peers can, and I would be quite confident to say that they often feel marginalized and excluded. What I love about you ponies, for the most part, that is, is that you don’t care if somecreature has trouble with something. You are naturally altruistic, and stand up for the little guy.”
Starlight cracks her signature villain’s grin, and Celestia smiles at my charisma. Twilight’s rage begins to subside, and she listens attentively to what I have to say. “Even in Equestria, ponies with my kind of challenges are accepted for who they are, and considered full members of society. Heck, your own Princess of Friendship is also on the autism spectrum! She experienced something very similar to what I had. Celestia aided her in finding friends, and if somepony didn’t help her, she’d still be a unicorn recluse to this day!”
Twilight chuckles at my use of hyperbole, and finally calms down completely. Now, to close my argument and finish the job! “Ponykind has a golden opportunity to prove that its natural talent for altruism won’t go to waste. In the short time since I arrived, I’ve learned so many things about social skills, pragmatism, and Friendship. I wish that my teachers on Earth had poured the amount of time and energy into my wellbeing as Starlight did for me.”
Aw, I’m making Starlight cry. I hope it’s tears of joy! She puts her wing around me in a side hug.
“Can’t you see how my arrival has had nothing but positivity for everypony? I inadvertently deified Starlight, and now a few humans can learn magic and make friends. This is the happiest ending one can possibly dream of, and I implore you to cast your vote in favor of overruling Chancellor Neighsay’s veto.”
When I finish my address, I go in for a full hug with Starlight Glimmer. She’s a hot mess, and I don’t blame her. “You have a way with words, Noah.” Starlight says, finally composing herself enough to sit down with poise. I sit down next to her, and Twilight sighs.
“You really need to work on the beginnings of those speeches. I was moments away from zapping you to the moon!” The Friendship mare chuckles.
“Yeah yeah, I know. Let’s see how Fancy Pants votes on this.” I say, quickly bringing everypony’s attention to the important matter at hand.
“Is that all you have to say, Noah?” Fancy Pants asks me. I nod. “Yes, it is. I have nothing more to say. Is that alright?” I ask, just to make sure I covered all my bases. He nods and sits down.
“I need a few minutes to go over my notes, and then I will cast my vote. Please be patient.” Fancy Pants says, bringing his papers to eye level. Really? I am already stressed out of my mind! What is this stallion trying to do to me?! Each second of the next few minutes feels like an eternity in time. Relativity’s a bitch, am I right?
***
Starlight Glimmer.
Come on, come on, you slow pony! Vote already! I hope my rider was convincing enough for you because if not, I don’t know what I am going to do with myself. There are dozens of humans waiting on this decision, who are more than eager to begin their Friendship studies! I know he’s a Bridle pony and couldn’t give one shit about this, but come on! As annoyed as I am, even a radical leftist pony like me knows when to keep her muzzle shut.
Finally, after fifteen long, arduous minutes, Fancy Pants ignites his horn. If he selects the green ballot, the school is dead on arrival. If he selects the red ballot, Chancellor Neighsay’s veto is overruled, and nopony can contest my school again. I look at Twilight, she looks at Noah, and Noah looks at Fancy Pants. The suspense is palpable!
His magical signature hovers over the two selections, alternating between the green and red options. Finally, after a few more moments of deliberation, Fancy Pants selects…
The Red One!
Princess Celestia bangs her gavel with authority. “We have a final tally of 50-49, with one abstention. Chancellor Neighsay’s motion to close Princess Twilight and Princess Starlight’s school fails. The school is open for learning!
With those words, the entire viewer’s gallery broke out into spontaneous ovation. I know that Noah and Shaun probably both have a variety of sensory issues, but come on! This could be a courtroom drama or a theatre production! Princess Celestia smiles at Fancy Pants and says. “I’m proud of you. I was banking on the school to open. You have done a great service to Equestria.”
In my brief moment of ecstasy, I grab my human and hug him very tightly. Twilight joins the hug. Lyra and Trixie both jump over the side of the viewer’s gallery and dogpile the poor boy!
“You did it, kid. You bucking did it!” Lyra cheers, very glad for her friend. “I knew you could get our school up and running again. You’d be one hell of a Rider of Justice. I hope Starlight’s proud of you.”
“Trixie is thrilled! She doesn’t understand anything about legal procedure, but you gave an amazing testimony to Fancy Pants! Now our school can open on Monday!”
Finally, Princess Twilight gets her turn to congratulate my rider. “Well, you did it, kid. We’ve got ourselves a school. When we get back to Ponyville, I am going to write letters to the nonpony leaders informing them of the Bridle’s ruling. I’ll have your sister send a message to Earth. Class starts on Monday at 8:30. Be there, or be square! ”
I aid Noah in squirming out of the dogpile hug, and the two of us kiss deeply. “You did it, stud. I’m so proud of you.” I cry, kissing him even more.
“Ahem”, a regal voice says, tapping her golden hoof on Noah’s shoulder. He abruptly stops kissing me and turns around to see Princess Celestia with a warm, genuine smile on her face.
“I know this must have been hard for you, but you did something beautiful today, Noah. I am sure Starlight is proud of you for adhering to her gut principle of sticking up for those who cannot do so themselves.” Celestia says, placing a gentle kiss on Noah’s forehead.
“Aw, thanks.” He blushes.
“How about we all have a pizza party at my castle? It’s lunchtime, and I think we all deserve a chance to celebrate.” Celestia offers, waving to Pinkie Pie. She and the rest of the “Mane Six” were off congratulating Twilight on her testimony.
“Pinkamena Diane Pie, reporting for duty!” The party pony says with ambition.
“I need some help with something only you can help me with, Pinkie,” Celestia says, whispering the pizza party plan to the earth pony mare. She smiles and nods.
“Pizza parties?! I love pizza!” Pinkie says, quickly disappearing to plan for the imminent luncheon.
I give Noah a look, and he knows what it means. The two of us trot outside with much fanfare and praise, surrounded by ponies who were on our side. Noah casts a quick spell and helps me saddle up for the flight to Celestia’s castle.
“Are you ready to ride, O student of mine?” I jest, the metal bit a bit finicky today. Noah quickly fixes it, before mounting me.
“Yes, ma’am!” He smiles, spurring me into a gallop. Everypony makes room for us to take off, and we launch ourselves en route to Celestia’s castle for a well-deserved pizza party!
“You know what? I’m making an executive decision just now. You are a Friendship graduate!” I say with pride, tears flowing down my muzzle.
“Wait, really?” Noah asks, before noticing a small medallion being placed on his shirt with my magic. It reads “Friendship Graduate”.
“Yes, yes you are! The ultimate test of Friendship is offering it to somecreature who needs it the most. It’s what turned me into a goddess. Now, you’ve mastered it. I hope you are as good at teaching Friendship as you are learning it!” I say with a bit of sarcasm in my voice. For that slight infraction, Noah spurs me a bit faster, although he’s very gentle!
We did it, kid. We did it. I can’t wait to teach with you on Monday.
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 31: Icebreakers For Everycreature!
Bon Bon:
Well, today’s the day! Twilight and company finally pulled themselves together and officially opened the School of Friendship. I can see that the two princesses are quite relieved that their legal troubles are finally over, and are cheering for themselves. I am not the kind of mare to interfere with private celebrations, so I let those two enjoy themselves. In the meantime, I get up from my seat and trot around, trying to see what the situation is.
Most of the nonpony creatures and a few ponies are quite amicable today and are mostly in a cheerful demeanor. Some of them are already speaking with each other, however, there is a small amount of hesitation. I actually didn’t expect such camaraderie to develop so quickly! Perhaps I set my expectations too low? Nevertheless, my main concern, and the reason for my employment, is the human, neurodivergent students attending this school.
I look around the area, trying to find the human students that I have been acquainted with already. I see Anastasia, who now lives with me and Lyra. She’s talking to my marefriend about something, probably music if I were to guess? I also notice Shaun, who’s drawing something in his sketchbook. As for the other human students, I don’t really know them that well. Perhaps this is what the program is for?
Starlight Glimmer taps the microphone on the podium in front of her, alerting the student body that the Princess of Justice has something she’d like to say: “Alright! If you could all follow me through these doors, I have a fun activity for us to try today!” Starlight says, using her magic to open the large crystalline doors of her facility. Princess Twilight leads the way, with her fellow princess flanking her left. One by one, all of the students follow the ponies single file inside the schoolhouse, with each race tending to stick to their own.
We are all led inside to a large hall, that has many bridge tables set up, with chairs to go with them. Once everyone enters the hall, Twilight Sparkle smiles and directs her students to go into twelve groups of four, with one group of two, since fifty doesn’t divide into four. These tables look large but welcoming and homey at the same time. The hall itself resembles less of a school hallway and more of a hearth, or communal center.
It takes a few minutes for everyone to sit down at their tables since everycreature needs to coordinate themselves properly. Finally, after all of the students sit down, Starlight spawns a deck of cue cards with her magic and gives one cue card to each member of our staff. Lyra, Trixie, Maud Pie, Noah, Twilight, Mrs. Weiss, the Mane Six, and I all get one cue card. I take my specific card into my front hooves and look at it.
“Ask everycreature what their name is, and ask this Icebreaker prompt: ‘What is something that makes you smile?’ Go around the table and ask everycreature this question.”
I’d assume that the rest of the staff received cue cards with different prompts, right? Perhaps each cohort is to discuss their icebreaker in their own manner? It doesn’t really matter that much. What matters is that I perform my task as an educator and see this icebreaker game through to the end!
***
Princess Starlight Glimmer:
“Ask everycreature what their name is, and ask this Icebreaker prompt: ‘What makes you happy?” . This is the prompt that I saved for myself, and I am very happy that I picked this one. Knowing full well that there are a few humans at this table, it would be very interesting to see what other humans find interesting, and how these passions reflect on their personalities. I trot up to the table and smile. The two human children, one changeling, a she-dragon, and a griffon smile.
“Good morning, Princess Starlight!” The changeling drone says, trying to muster a genuine smile.
“Good morning. What’s your name?” I ask him. He looks somewhat nervous, but in a typical, foalish way, not in a guilty way.
“My name is Troublemaker. I know it sounds silly, but it’s the name my parents gave me. As for what makes me happy, I like shapeshifting into things that can help other changelings. For example, last week I turned myself into a ladder to help my friend whose wings were broken. He was able to reach his kitchen shelf!” Troublemaker says, chuckling. I look at the next creature, waiting for her to begin with her icebreaker. The orange she-dragon looks reserved and calm, befitting her draconic nature.
“Good morning, everycreature. My name is Smolder, and I am to be the next Dragon Lord if I can prove my worth. I am not entirely sure what makes me smile, but I do enjoy a good fight. Dragon culture is very proud of its warrior heritage, and we often fight to determine how strong we are! I’m somewhere in the middle tier if I’m being honest.” Smolder explains to us. I think this is a very interesting insight. I still have plenty to learn about dragon culture, and Smolder could end up teaching me a few things, as well!
Looking at the next student, the hegriffon tries to put on a brave face, but I can tell he’s terrified of being here. His green coat of fur is sweating profusely, and his wings are flapping in place, probably to control his anxiety.
“Hello, it’s okay to be stressed. Take your time. I’m patient.” I say, trying to calm him down. He smiles and takes a deep breath before beginning.
“H…hi…my…my name is Gerald. I’m a griffon. I don’t really know what…makes me happy. I…I was hoping making a friend could help me find something that I am good at?” That was quite endearing. It’s lovely to see creatures come out of their shell, and trust others to provide them with aid!
Next, I look at the human girl in front of me. I vaguely remember her from the various opening ceremonies for the School of Friendship, and if I recall correctly, she has ADHD. I didn’t catch her name, though…
“What’s your name, youngster?” I ask the human girl. She smiles and stands up from her chair.
“Oh, my name is Samantha! I do all sorts of things to stay happy, but the main thing I love to do is cycle!” The human girl says, confusing everycreature except for the other human.
“C..cycle? What’s that?” I ask her, wanting to know what this fascinating human activity entails. I spawn my spiral notebook and a pen, eager to write down everything Samantha has to tell me about this “cycling” activity. The other creatures around the table seem just as interested in this concept. Samantha sports a hearty grin, and then begins to explain what “cycling” is to us.
“Well, cycling involves the use of a vehicle called a bicycle. It has two wheels, and pedals. It’s a fast, evironmentally friendly way to travel, and it’s good exercise. I like it because it calms the jitters in my mind. All exercise does that, according to my mom, but cycling especially! I end up in a cold sweat!” Samantha explains to us. The students at the table are quite interested in this activity, rightfully so!
“That sounds fun!” Troublemaker says, being the most interested creature of the group in this novel form of exercise. “Do you know if we can try it?” He asks Samantha. The young human girl takes a minute to consider the changeling’s question, before frowning with genuine care.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Troublemaker, but you have four legs! Bikes are for creatures with two legs. I am sure that there might be some sort of modification to a bike to allow ponies and other creatures with four legs to use them. I am not smart enough to fix that, but Twilight Sparkle seems like the kind of mare who’d come up with something like this.” Samantha says, trying to console the changeling. The other creatures seem to understand, while being upset that they cannot ride a bike.
“Aw yeah, I am a biped. Bike riding for the win!” Smolder sneers, cheering for herself, not noticing that the other creatures were upset. She should know better, not enjoying the suffering of others! I give the she-dragon a look of annoyance, and she quickly reverts to a neutral emotional state.
“Sorry about that, Princess Starlight. This biking thing sounds cool. I think I’d enjoy it, but I should have been more considerate of other creatures who’d not be able to try it.” Smolder says, acting somewhat apologetic.
“It’s fine, Smolder.” Troublemaker says. Gerald nods, too. “Y…yeah. You weren’t trying to be rude, right?” The green griffon asks, making sure Smolder’s intentions weren’t malicious. I clear my throat, urging everycreature to get back to the subject at hoof. We still have one human left who didn’t share his icebreaker answer! I turn my kind gaze over to him, and I kindly encourage him to share.
“Hi, there! Don’t fret, we’re all friends, here! What’s your name?” I ask the human boy. I know the child can speak because I heard him speaking with Samantha before. He’s not nonverbal like Shaun, right? What’s up with that? Did I say something bad to him by mistake?
The young man sighs and finally decides to speak. He’s having trouble making eye contact with me, which I know from dating Noah is an autistic trait. He takes an additional minute to compose himself and makes a strong effort to look me in the eye.
“My name is Ethan. I am a human, like Samantha. The main thing that makes me happy is baking. I like being in control of things, and baking is an exact science. Also, sweet things are very tasty!” Ethan says, clearly excited speaking about his special interest. I don’t blame him. Special interests are fun, especially when they are of a more universal appeal.
I clap my hooves, clearly happy that everycreature at the table answered this icebreaker prompt. So far, my directive as an assistant headmare of the school is going swimmingly! I’ve gone through a simple exercise, and I was pleasantly surprised at how easily I was able to facilitate dialogue between new creatures! I just hope my rider is thinking the same thing today!
“Well, good job, everycreature ! We went through an easy icebreaker assignment. I am going to trot around the room and see how the rest of the School of Friendship students are holding up with their icebreaker exercises. Can everycreature wait here for five minutes?” I ask them. The entire table unanimously nods in agreement, making my job a whole lot easier.
“Great. I’ll be back shortly. Try having simple conversations with each other, and see how your overall chemistry is. This is uncharted territory for all of us!” I say, quickly teleporting over to the next table of students. I hope their icebreaker prompts are just as interesting as mine! Twilight wrote them, not me!
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 1: Purple People Eater!
Montreal, Canada: January 2022 CE
Sweet…Merciful…Crap!
Those were the only words to come out of my mouth after…something quite weird appeared in front of my driveway! I don’t know how it got here, why it’s here, or what it wants, but the best thing for me to do is run away . I went inside and locked the door. I just wanted to shovel the snow away, not see…whatever that thing is!
My anxiety is bad enough without aliens breaking and entering on my private property! Anyways, it doesn’t matter. I take off my winter gear and go to my kitchen to make hot cocoa. It’s -40C today without the windchill, and if I was outside for any more time, I could have very well gotten frostbite! As I went into my cupboard to get the cocoa powder, I realized something. Whatever the hell that thing is that’s outside must be freezing! Even the most durable people I know wouldn’t be able to survive without any gear for long! The last thing I’d want is for a corpse of an alien on my front lawn, let alone people looking at it!
With a heavy amount of fear and skepticism, I go down the wooden stairs from my living room to the basement. I must be going a bit too quickly because I hear the wooden boards creaking quite loudly! By the time I finally made my way to the basement, I took a minute to compose myself.
“Alright, Noah. Think! There’s a…something outside. I don’t know how it got here, or if its intentions are malicious, but…I can’t let an innocent animal, terrestrial or otherwise, suffer in tundra-like conditions! What are you going to do? What do those things even eat? Will it even understand me? Will it-”
It didn’t matter anyway, because…there it is…Standing in my basement. I didn’t leave the garage door open, did I? Mom will have my ass if I leave it open again! The pipes could burst. My house is really old, so the pipes are prone to freeze over, especially in these freezing conditions. I don’t really know what this thing is in front of me. It is staring at me with these disproportionately large eyes…and it has a horn and hooves? And…a purple mane…It’s taller than me. Weird… Hold on!
“No…freakin’ way…is that a unicorn?” I think to myself. I would have run away, but she began to speak!
“Yes, I am a unicorn. I’m surprised you know what I am!”
Wait…I didn’t talk to it. Why did it-oh my god it can read minds! This is really bad, this is really really bad! How can this unicorn read minds! I…I don’t know what to do! I’m scared. I am just an 18-year-old kid! I don’t make first contact with aliens, do I?
“Ummm…how do you even speak English? ” I ask, quite flippant. I am mostly running on adrenaline right now, as the cold wood of the floor starts to make my toes cold, even with thick socks.
“Universal translation spell, silly! You don’t have that?” It replies, quite earnestly. This thing is chipper, that’s for darn sure!
If this…unicorn can just appear in my house uninvited, then…I don’t really have a choice. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, so I guess I have to converse with it. Welp, here I go…
“Okay…what the heck are you? Why are you in my house, and why did you trespass on private property? How can you even talk?! How can you-”
The purple/pink unicorn smiles, almost like it was expecting me to ask these serious questions (although for the unicorn, it must seem silly!).
“Well…I know a lot about you! I know your name is Noah, that you are sad, and that you need a friend. I was sent by Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria to cordially invite you to our kingdom to learn the values of Friendship firsthand!”
Twilight Sparkle…Friendship…Equestria…is this darn unicorn out of its damn mind?! Wait…how does it even know my name?! I am actually starting to get really scared, and I run upstairs quickly, trying to get as far away from this unicorn as possible. I must be having some sort of fever dream because this is WAY too crazy to be happening! Just as I make my way up the stairs, I…I don’t even know how, but I am suddenly back in the basement, right next to this six-foot-tall unicorn!
“Where do you think you’re going! I haven't finished my pitch yet!” The unicorn says. Wait…can it use magic or some super-advanced technology? How did I…I am not even going to bother asking. If I play along, I might live to tell the tale!
“I am not going to say or do anything until you tell me what the hell you are, why you’re here, how you know my name, and what any of this bullshit has to do with me!” I am quite annoyed with this unicorn. Does it think it’s the master of the universe or something?
“I was expecting that kind of answer…It’s okay to be scared of new things, Noah. When I first met Twilight Sparkle, I was scared of her, too! Just…take a few deep breaths, and then I will answer your questions. I Pinkie Promise that I am not here to eat you…or to hurt you. I am only here to help you .
Help me? Help me?! I don’t need any help. Why would I need any help! I am just fine with how I am, and where I am! Ugh…I should probably play along with this unicorn’s game; I am agitated, and a few deep breaths would help in this situation. I take a deep breath, filling my cold lungs with well-needed air, and I exhale. No wonder my mom does yoga! This stuff works miracles.
“Alright…I will try and be calm now, uh…what do I call you?” I assume that a creature that is sapient and able to manipulate the laws of physics is also intelligent enough to have a name for itself! I don’t want to infantilize it, lest it does eat me, or worse!
It laughs, only for it to then hit me that this unicorn is a female, er…a mare , if I remember my horse terminology correctly. It’s speaking in a high pitched voice, and its facial bones look more feminine.
She does something…weird . She lets out a hoof, almost like it’s a hand. Why would the unicorn mare want to do that?
“My name is Starlight Glimmer! I already know your name, Noah. It’s an honor to meet you! ” She says to me. For a good minute and a half, she stands there like a dope, waiting for me to do something. What am I supposed to do… Oh crap! I really do need to work on my social skills! I let out my hand and “shake” the hoof of this mysterious creature with hesitation.
“Sorry about that…social skills aren’t my forte,” I say quite sheepishly.
“Oh I know, it’s in your file. You have…uh…”ass-burgers”? I think Princess Twilight has it, too! You must be super smart, right? Speak five or more languages, photographic memory, all that jazz?”
Wait…unicorns know what autism is? Do…do they watch us like Big Brother? I am starting to get worried again, but I remember that I promised Starlight I’d remain calm, so I did my best to maintain proper decorum in my basement.
“Yeah…it’s called “Aspergers”, not “Ass-burgers”, I reply with a chuckle. Poor unicorn is probably too innocent to know why that misstep is funny.
“And your species is called “He-you-mains”, right?” She follows up with another question. I couldn’t help but begin to laugh. I don’t mean chuckle, I mean laugh . I should have kept it in because the unicorn began to cry!
“I…I’m sorry for being so mean to you, Noah, I hope you’ll forgive me!” The poor mare has full-blown tears coming out. I wasn’t trying to be mean, I just thought it was silly the way she pronounced “humans”.
“Mad? Why would I be mad, Starlight? You are an alien unicorn that “humans” (pronounced “(h)yoomən”) have never seen before. Hell, the only reason I know what you are is because…well a long time ago unicorns might have existed, but they certainly weren’t purple and able to talk! It’s okay, I am not mad at you.”
Well, I am mad that she broke into my house , but I am not cross that she mispronounced the word human. She slowly stopped crying and tried to compose herself. She…did something , and her horn lit up purple, and a notebook appeared out of nowhere with a pen, and she began to write something down in a script that I cannot read at all! These unicorns have their own languages! Woah…trippy!
“Sorry about that…a unicorn’s magic is controlled by their emotions, and I thought you upset me. It’s no big deal. Now, about that proposition I am offering you. My file says that you have no friends, are catatonically depressed, and are in dire need of affection! I think I can be of help in that department!” She says, checking a notebook, which for some reason has a picture of me , with a bunch of data written down in that same illegible unicorn language.
“So…”Equestria”, what the heck is that?” I ask her quite sincerely. She immediately changes tone from recovering crier to the elated preacher, with her comically large eyes lighting up.
“OOH! Equestria is a lovely place, where there are three different kinds of ponies that live in Harmony and magic!”
Wait…ponies? Starlight is the size of a full-grown horse! I could easily ride on her…eh… never mind, that’s a weird thought to have. The darn unicorn can talk!
“I can see your confusion, Noah. “Ponies” in your language must refer to a different creature, so you’re mixed up! In Equestria, ponies are…well they’re like me…er, nevermind, let me explain. The three kinds of ponies all rely on each other for our society to function. As you can see…”
Starlight lifts a hoof and points to her horn. “I am a unicorn. That means I can use magic. The other two kinds of ponies are Earth Ponies, who are durable and adept with agriculture, and Pegasi, who can fly and control the weather!”
Wait…control the weather? Flying, I get, but the weather?! I’ll ask later if I even want to…
“Now, as for how this all ties into you, Noah the “(h)yoomən”.” She takes out her notebook, and her horn lights up, magically changing the contents of the pages into…English? Woah, that’s actually pretty cool!
“Here you go! I used the Universal Translation Spell to make this book accessible for you. Take a peek at it! Princess Twilight’s words will explain your purpose much better than mine!” She uses…telekinesis to pass the notebook to me, and I pick it up, skimming the pages.
Hmm…Friendship Exchange Program…teaching humans how to be social…spreading Harmony across the universe…that’s actually kind of wholesome! In fact, that’s really wholesome ! I actually cracked a smile, which…probably didn’t go unnoticed, since Starlight smiled in turn.
“I had a feeling you’d turn towards Friendship, Noah. Besides, if you ever decide to go back home, you can use the skills I’m going to teach you with fellow humans, and make this planet a better place! Wouldn’t that be awesome!” She asks me quite genially.
Heh…that would be awesome…but “Equestria” is another planet, possibly millions of light-years from Earth! How would I get there, heck, how did Starlight get here .
Starlight blushes. I wonder why? Did I say something offensive again?
“I…I have a secret, Noah. You’re my first student. I just graduated from Princess Twilight’s Friendship Studies Program, and my first job was to find you and convince you to come to Equestria for an “exchange program”. I really don’t want to get on Princess Twilight’s bad side, so I am really hoping that you agree to come with me. The program is only one month, and you are allowed to leave at any time. I promise!”
Huh…I mean I am not doing anything. COVID shut down the whole planet, and…maybe I can develop superpowers? I mean if Starlight can use magic, maybe I can learn how, too? Imagine how much easier my life would be if I could teleport, or move objects with my mind!
“One month, you say?” I ask, just to be sure that I understand everything properly. She nods.
“I understand if you want to take some time to think about my offer. Nopony agrees to a deal without reading all the terms and conditions thoroughly. If you do have the same condition as Princess Twilight, I am confident you will take due diligence!”
Wait…nopony? Doesn’t she mean “nobody” or “no one?” I am tempted to correct her, but I don’t want to make the darn pastel unicorn cry again…Even if she is a missionary to convert infidels to Friendship-ism…she’s still human, er…still a “pony”. She has feelings, too! With all the damn intervention I had for my autism, I can at least notice if somebody’s trying to be nice (with a bit of effort, that is).
“Uh…Starlight? How many pages are in this notebook of yours?” I ask her, just so I can gauge my time for reading it.
She smiles and replies promptly with “475. It’s like a medium-length novel. Take your time!”
I hear her stomach grumble and she puts a hoof over her stomach in embarrassment.
“Umm. Noah? Before you sign any contracts…do you have anything to eat? Unicorns are herbivores, so don’t give me anything with meat!” She says, quite embarrassed that something as diplomatic as a Friendship Mission has to end on an empty stomach.
I take a minute to think about what the “pony” might want to eat, and I have an idea.
“Starlight, have you ever heard of “Popcorn”? It’s corn kernels that are roasted or microwaved, and they are really good. If you want, you can even put sugar granules on it, making them sweet and salty!”
As soon as I finished explaining the concept of popcorn to my equine visitor, her horn flashes, and a giant bowl of popcorn appears in front of her.
“I…may have taken from your pantry…I hope you don’t mind! Besides, Friendship Lesson #32: Sharing is Caring!” She sits down on her haunches, and using her uncanny abilities, puts a “handful” of popcorn into her magic’s range, and eats the kernels slowly and with surprising etiquette!
“You can have some too, Noah! I mean, it’s your house and your snack stash!” She says, hiding a chuckle. I am a bit hungry, so I take a few pieces of popcorn for myself, and the two of us eat our snack quietly and promptly. We finished after around ten minutes or so, and Starlight was nice enough to use her magic to put the bowl into the sink upstairs!
“Friendship Lesson #452: If somepony eats a snack at a friend’s house. Be sure to clean up after yourself, so they don’t have to!” She says with a smile. It’s a bit cultish that she recites these “Friendship Lessons,” but I’ve seen people do weirder things.
“Starlight, I have a rather…uh…random question for you: How did you get here, and if I agree, how am I going to come with you? I don’t have any magic that I know of, and…well humanity isn’t advanced enough for quantum jumps yet, so-”
The pinkish unicorn sticks her tongue out at me, which is a bit weird, considering she’s taller than me by a head!
“Well…I haven’t figured that part out yet, but I am sure we can work something out. Hey , I remember what to do” She takes her notebook back and skims to the last page: “How to transport humans to other worlds.”
Twilight’s Log: It seems from the small amount of data that I have acquired that there are similar equine creatures on this planet! “He-you-mains” have domesticated them, and use them as chattel! While I find these methods to be abhorrent, the union of pony and “He-you-main” might be the only way for both species to travel between worlds! If Starlight is successful, then she will gladly lend her back to the candidate for travel! Saddle up, “He-you-main!”
What…
Both of us lose the blood in our faces, and we begin to laugh heavily.
“Are…are you serious?! I have to-”
“Yeah…I…I don’t really want to do that, Noah…it’s weird and creepy , but there might not be any other way for both of us to make it back to Equestria!”
Well, it's not weird and creepy for humans to do that to horses, but Starlight can talk! That makes this a whole ‘nother level of awkward! Starlight cocks her head towards her back, and eyes her body very carefully.
“I mean, in theory, this could work. I am 6 feet tall, you are…5’9? I wear saddlebags all the time with all sorts of stuff inside…and you weigh?”
I take a minute to think about it, and I remember my weight from my last checkup, which was a week ago.
“77 kilograms. Is that a problem?” I ask with a concerned look on my face, before Starlight hugs me with relief.
“Oh you silly human, I can bench press 400 kilograms! And that’s without magic! 77 kilograms is a cinch! It’s just the idea of having somepony…er…someone else controlling me to be quite alarming!”
Controlling? Oh yeah, I guess from the horse’s perspective, it is controlling, but I don’t think we’ll be doing this for long, just so we can cross the rift to “Equestria”, right?
I smile at Starlight, having made a decision: “Alrighty. I consent to this exchange program. I have nothing to lose from it, anyways, and I do need to make friends…quite badly at that. Next time you do this, don’t do “breaking and entering”!” I say with a smile, as Starlight smiles in return, teleporting the both of us outside in the freezing cold, without letting me get winter clothes . She quickly realizes this but uses a spell of some sort to increase my body temperature, so I am not freezing in the -40 C hellscape of Montreal. Starlight looks at the diagram in her notebook, showing a human riding a horse, and realizes that she doesn’t have a saddle or a bit/reins!
“Noah…I think we need to get these two items…It’s not just about the human controlling the pony, but also to ensure they don’t fall off and hurt themselves! Wait one minute, and I’ll see if I can find these things. Stay right here! The unicorn teleports away…somewhere, leaving me in my driveway wondering what the hell I am doing with my life.
“Did…did I just sell my soul to a talking unicorn to go to a fantasyland to make friends?”
I think to myself rather sarcastically. This situation isn’t ideal, but…my depression is really bad, and maybe these skills can help me make friends back here, after? I wait outside in the snow for around half an hour, wondering if the unicorn will ever make her way back to my house.
“I knew this was just a fever dream…I am probably going to wake up in the hospital with hypothermia right about-.”
Before I even had the opportunity to say “now”, Starlight teleports back into view with a few notable accessories. Her saddle is a matching purple to her fur, and the reins…well they’re green, but I don’t think she had a choice in the matter. She looks a bit silly with a bit in her mouth, but hey…she’s kinda roped into this. “Twilight Sparkle” said this is the only way for both of us to make the jump!
“If I have to wear this darn thing in my mouth to get you to Equestria in one piece, then Princess Twilight better be giving me a raise. Now, hurry up and get on before I change my mind! Where I come from, Saddles are fashion accessories, not tools!”
Well…Given that I already agreed, and that Starlight has proven to teleport and move things with her mind, the best way to go forward is to willingly climb astride her, rather than have Starlight teleport me onto her back. I walk slowly towards Starlight, fully realizing that I was about to ride a f*cking unicorn to another world . She looks rather warm and fuzzy!
Carefully putting my right hand on the saddle, I try to lift myself onto Starlight with the stirrups, and…well let’s just say I have no upper body strength. I spent a good ten minutes trying to pull myself up, but I finally managed to do it, pulling my other leg over her, and putting the foot into the stirrup. I look around, realizing the finality of my choice.
“Last Chance, Noah the human. You can back out now, or you can…”
She shudders at the thought. “R…ride me… to Equestria.”
Well. I am already mounted atop a unicorn in -40 C weather, so what are my options?
“Okay, I’m ready. How are we going to get there? I assume you can’t gallop across galaxies?” I say sarcastically, to which I am only met with the reply of a hoof being stomped on the snow.
“Leave that part to me, Noah. Just…don’t die, okay? The quantum shift hurts a bit, but it’s not that bad. Now…how does this thing work? Do I just…go? Do you…ask me to? Do you give me instructions?”
“I’ve never ridden a horse, let alone a unicorn in my life, but I have seen a few Western movies. I think I need to gently tap my feet like this…”
With a very small, tepid movement, I tap my two shoes against Starlight’s body. She instinctively begins to trot. She turns her head at me and grins.
“Huh…a reflex? Cool. Now…I am going to gallop. I need space and velocity to activate the return spell, so…please hold onto those weird rope things for me, okay? Also we are NEVER doing this again, mark my words!
I grin at the comment, not expecting to make Starlight undergo such a demeaning task again; although, weirder things have happened? Maybe she’ll like this and beg me to do it again? The universe is weird! Gripping the reins, Starlight began to gallop quite fast across the snow, building up a fair amount of speed. I feel her body warm-up, and I see her horn light up as well…it’s actually quite pretty! Is it just me or do unicorn horns
“Return to Equestria in 5…4…3…2…1..-”
With a flash of her horn, I feel my entire body being ripped apart, atom by atom! I haven’t felt pain like that since my wisdom teeth were removed a few months ago! I kept my eyes open, and I saw a cascade of colors swirling around me, like a kaleidoscope on steroids! After a minute or two, I feel Starlight’s body begin to rematerialize, and all four of her hooves land onto a flat surface of some sort. She trots slowly towards a glass panel.
“This is the mirror, Noah. When we cross the threshold, you’re in Equestria. First human ever to come here. Hold on, it’s going to jolt a bi-”
And it does! I feel pulled towards the glass panel atop Starlight, and the two of us are spit out in a rather large hall, where I see six more of these sapient ponies sitting at a large table. Like Starlight described, I see three different kinds of ponies, each matching her description, with the exception of the mulberry purple one wearing a tiara. She looked…regal . She had wings and a horn! Starlight didn’t tell me that!
Everyone (or is it everypony ? I heard Starlight use that expression before!) stared at Starlight and then at me. Is it with contempt, acceptance, apathy? I don’t know!
“Welcome back, Starlight!” The winged unicorn says with glee. “I see you brought Noah the “He-you-main” with you…promise me he won’t do that to me?”
Well, this is one way to receive a welcome!
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 19: A Firsthoof Encounter
This is absolutely crazy! My teacher is giving a broadcast to Noah’s homeworld, and I am helping out, too! We have the awesome privilege of providing Friendship to a new civilization, and helping some of its most vulnerable citizens! I see the floating magic “phone” box that Rebecca is using to film, and I am looking directly at it. To be honest, it’s rather similar to the device First Draft uses to transcribe his ledes for the Ponyville Post!
“Hello everycreature on Earth! My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle. I’m the Princess of Friendship. On my left is my fellow Princess Starlight Glimmer, who’s the Princess of Justice. Today we’re going to tell you how we’re going to bring Friendship into your lives! I, along with my friend Princess Starlight Glimmer, am from Equestria. Our planet considers Friendship to be paramount, and it is our sacred duty to provide Friendship to as many creatures as possible.” Twilight says, beginning her thesis on why humans should trust Equestria to give them a hoof in Friendship.
I looked over the speech that Trixie wrote before the film began, and I think Twilight has a good shot of making our case! I am not particularly worried, but my rider’s leg is shaking sporadically! I hope he’s not too worried, but our soul fusion makes it so we feel each other’s emotions!
“Before I get into the nitty-gritty of Friendship, I feel like I owe your species an explanation on how I discovered you! Besides being a Friendship Princess, I am also a budding scientist and researcher!” Twilight says, using magic to project a new image of the Cutie Map, showing both the planet Equus and this “Earth” planet humans call home.
“This piece of magical technology behind me is called a “Cutie Map”. It runs entirely on Friendship particles, and it alerts me and my friends in the Equestrian government where friendship is deficient in our world. Sometime last week, the Cutie Map began to act up, and I went to see what was going on.” She explains, zooming in towards the image of Noah’s planet.
“What I didn’t know is that the Cutie Map’s Friendship energy detected levels on other worlds, as well! I didn’t know what to do, so I did some more research.” Twilight explains, changing the Cutie Map’s image from that of the two planets to an image of a human.
“I assume you all recognize this image. It’s a human being. The Cutie Map detected that your race has the lowest levels of Friendship detectable in a living organism. You all fight, hate each other for no reason and destroy your planet for resources. Other civilizations would see this with contempt, and wipe you off the map. Thankfully, ponies are kind and benevolent! We want to help you do better!” She says with a gentle smile. Her horn lights up one more time, and shows the Mirror Portal and our two worlds, with a magical bridge connecting them.
“Our two planets are quite far apart, and the only way to transfer living things or data between them is through a quantum tunnel. Using some magic, I combed through your planet’s youth and found a human with dangerously low levels of Friendship. After I vetted him carefully, I sent my student to warn him of the dangers of not having any friends. He willingly consented to emigrate to our world and is currently learning about Friendship with Princess Starlight. I’m going to let her talk now! Here’s Princess Starlight Glimmer.”
Oh, right! Now it’s my turn to show humanity what ponies have to offer! I take a deep breath and look at my rider with a smile. He waves, and grins. Seeing him supportive of me makes me calmer, and I have the resolve to begin my address to his people. Here goes nothing!
“Hello, humans! I’m Princess Starlight Glimmer, and I was given the mandate of teaching Friendship to a human. I am quite pleased to report that his progress is outstanding, and he’s already made a friend on his own!” I love talking about Noah, and I already feel less stressed and worried!
“After careful consultation with him, the Equestrian government decided to prioritize the tutelage of Friendship to those humans who need it the most. We looked at many different groups of people, but the one that stuck out to me was “Neurodivergent” humans.” I say, trying to strike a less statespony tone and trying to convey something personal. It helps that both my student and my teacher are neurodiverse, so I am somewhat credited in my knowledge of these varying conditions.
“In case you didn’t notice, my student has Asperger Syndrome, or “Mild Autism”. Don’t freak out, humans! That doesn’t make him any less smart, or kind, or able to be social! He just sees the world and processes information in a different way. Being social is not something that comes easy to humans like him. I am a Princess of Justice, so I want to bring equity to Friendship. That’s why I am prioritizing all neurodivergent children and young adults for the first pilot class of the School of Friendship!” I say with pride.
Twilight’s horn lights up again, switching the Cutie Map’s projection to that of a schoolhouse. I actually didn’t know that we’d procured a building for our school! It looks rather state of the art, and large! Obviously, I don’t know what the building looks like because a purple outline isn’t the building itself! Twilight nudges me with her wing, eager to explain this brainchild of hers.
“As my pupil was saying, the School of Friendship is a concept that I’ve been toying with for a few years. There are nonpony species that also need Friendship on our planet, and we’ve secured a student body from them, too! Human pupils in this school will participate in a life-changing, innovative program where they can learn all sorts of useful things! Social skills, empathy, pragmatic strategies to have a proper conversation; anything that can be used to foster and strengthen Friendship!” Twilight says, going over the typical spiel I’ve heard from her since I’ve been her pupil. It gets boring after a while, but Twilight Sparkle never, ever loses her enthusiasm for Friendship! It is incredibly endearing! Twilight nods, signaling that I may continue with my portion of the address.
“Now, about our world. While there are many different creatures that call the planet of Equus home, our country of Equestria is entirely inhabited by ponies!” I say, quickly changing the Cutie Map’s projector to three different ponies, corresponding to each race of pony in Equestria.
“We all have unique magical properties that we all rely on to coexist. Earth Ponies are a lot like your “horses” that my student told me about. The only difference is that they can talk! They are incredibly strong, durable, and have a deep connection to the planet itself.”
My magical cursor then switches to the unicorn diagram, which just so happens to be an outline of Trixie!
“Unicorns are quite special! They have horns that allow them to manipulate the very laws of nature with magic! Unicorns are natural empaths, due to magic being innately tied to emotions and feelings. In fact, without unicorn magic, it would be impossible for this program to exist!”
Finally moving my lilac cursor to the pegasus diagram, Noah smiles at me, and Trixie is vigorously writing down everything I’ve said so far.
“As for the last pony race, pegasi can fly and control the weather. They happen to be quite athletic, durable, and very competitive. Pegasi are responsible for coordinating any of the sporting events in the Friendship curriculum, due to their innate athletic talent.”
I then quickly change the subject to alicorns, since I am sure the human audience is dying to know why some ponies, particularly those addressing them, have both wings and a horn.
“In case you’re all curious about me and Princess Twilight. We’re called “alicorns”. The royalty of Equestria are a physical manifestation of all three pony races, having attributes from each! There are only six alicorns in Equestria, so don’t expect to see us all the time!” I say, trying not to chuckle like a schoolfoal on an interplanetary broadcast!
Twilight signals that she wishes to continue with the next section of the speech, so I yield my time to her. This is the fun part; how we’re going to pick the students!
“Starlight’s human student told us there are around 8 billion of you on Earth. That’s a lot of humans, don’t you think! Obviously, we’re not going to be able to educate all of you, so here’s how this is going to work. The first class of students will all be neurodiverse, per Starlight’s equity agenda. If that goes well, we’re going to have classes of 100 humans per semester, with 12 semesters a year! I’ve managed to condense the entire Friendship program into a thirty-day intensive for maximum expediency!” She says, spawning a textbook with her Cutie Mark on the front page. Woah! I didn’t think she’d get the final draft for a while!
“In Equestria, Friendship spreads exponentially from pony to pony! It binds us together as a common creed, and we achieve amazing feats together! Because I want to ensure that this program is as successful as possible, I have tabled legislation to sent a permanent delegation of ponies to Earth, to set up remote Friendship Schools there, as well! I want everyhuman on Earth to experience the Magic of Friendship for themselves!”
I was actually the one who came up with that idea, but whatever. Twilight can take credit for it, I don’t particularly care that much. It’s for a good cause, so I am not going to let my ego get in the way!
“We want to befriend you, but if you choose not to befriend us, that’s okay, too! We believe in free will, and forcing a creature to do something it doesn’t wish to do is against our pony moral code. All we ask for in return is kindness. We don’t seek payment of any sort, nor tribute or allegiance to our form of government. Just be kind to us, and to your fellow humans. If you can do that, you’ve paid your debt in full!” Twilight says quite charismatically.
I was the one who insisted on the free will part of that address! I don’t want a repeat of the Seaquestria Wars, where we tried to annex their country! That was 500 years ago, but history always leaves its mark! Even in the Friendship Era, I want to remind as many ponies as possible that those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it! Finally, Twilight is going to offer an olive branch, and give humans a new leaf, if they want it!
“We also understand that there are probably some humans who wish to start anew, and possibly reinvent a life for themselves in our world. Guess what? We’re accepting new citizens! Anyhuman who’s properly vetted by human governments, and completes a Friendship course either in Equestria or on Earth, is able to apply for Equestrian citizenship! We’re working on integrating our society better with nonpony races, and having the species who’s been redeemed with Friendship lead the way is a beautiful thing!” Twilight says, quite eager to see what the response will be from Earth’s citizens. She signals to me once again, giving me the floor to conclude.
“Oh, one more thing, humans! I forgot to mention the best part of this curriculum, in my opinion!” I cast a spell, and the Cutie Map diagram shows video footage of my riding adventures with Noah, both as a unicorn and as an alicorn!
“Noah showed me a novel way for ponies and humans to bond, and it’s called riding! My ponies were skeptical of this at first since we found it demeaning! However, after careful reconsideration, it seems that the physical bond between a pony and a human can further develop trust, gratitude, and loyalty! These are three key characteristics for a friendship to last a long time. It also just happens to provide a little boost to humans who want to get from Point A to Point B. Nopony or nohuman who doesn’t wish to partake in this activity is required to do so, but I strongly encourage it! I ride with my student all the time, and we get along swimmingly!”
Now, to conclude our address! Twilight takes the floor, and spreads her wings symbolically, lending her front hoof out towards the camera.
“As the Princess of Friendship, I am honored to extend my hoof in Friendship to the human race!”
I follow in her hoofsteps, and spread my wings as well, lending out my front right hoof.
“And as the Princess of Justice, I am honored to bring Friendship to those who wouldn’t normally get it!”
We both smile, and wave at the camera, saying “See you soon!” In unison. Rebecca presses the record button once again, ending the recording. Her pink “phone” is no longer in magic’s grasp, and it gently flutters into her hands. Trixie’s horn is emitting a small amount of smoke from how much it’s been working in overdrive to record the “official” transcript!
Twilight sighs, and trots over to Rebecca, looking at her with a concerned muzzle. “Do you think the recording went well? This is a new kind of technology, and I don’t know what the optics of this would be on Earth!” She asks, slightly hyperventilating. I totally get why she’s stressed, but she’s quite a pragmatic mare! What’s gotten into her?
Rebecca nods her head in affirmation, seemingly unconcerned with our performance. “You did great, Princess. It’s totally going to make it big, we call that ‘going viral!’”
“Going viral” huh? Why are fame and popularity comparable to disease? I’ll ask Noah later. In the meantime, I need to check in with him to make sure that he’s alright, after the broadcast! I feel from our soul merger that his heartbeat is slightly faster than it should be.
As Twilight pesters Noah’s sister about “smartphones” and the many uses they could have for ponies in Equestria, I trot over towards my rider, eager to see how he’s doing. Trixie notices me doing this, and promptly follows me. Even if Rebecca is Trixie’s rider now, she’s still his friend, so checking in with him is a kind gesture on her part! When I finally make my way over to him, I sit down on my hind legs and look my rider in the eye.
“Hey, champ. How are you holding up? Did you like my speech?” I ask him, Trixie carefully tracking his eye movements.
“Trixie herself drafted that speech, you know! Isn’t that cool?!” The showpony exclaims, bringing unnecessary attention to herself. Twilight sighs, and pipes in “yes, Trixie, you did a good job.”, quickly affirming the azure unicorn mare. She smiles and gently pats Noah on the head with her hoof.
“Trixie is very happy with her new job. She wouldn’t have it without you being Glimmy’s rider, you know that, right?” She says, clearly pleased with her new position. Noah stops looking at the floor and refocuses his attention towards me. His blue eyes are a bit hazy, but I can still see my reflection in them!
“I think you did a great job, Princess Starlight. I am not big on oration, but you really knocked it out of the park! The real question remains: will humanity as a whole accept our proposition to educate them on Friendship, or will they deny it and ignore this once in a lifetime opportunity?” He asks, genuinely unsure how his race will respond to my address.
I think we’re going to get an answer soon since Rebecca’s phone is buzzing nonstop. A bumblebee will have competition! I am sure Fluttershy’s hive doesn’t buzz that much!
“Becca, can you give the phone to Starlight?” Noah asks his sister. She nods, and I take the initiative to grab the phone with magic. As it makes its way over towards us, it’s still buzzing. I place the phone in my rider’s hands, and he looks at it. His jaw drops in surprise, and we see the following:
EVERYONEDESERVESAFRIEND
RIDETHEPONY
TEAMTWILIGHTSPARKLE
TEAMSTARLIGHTGLIMMER
WE’RENOTALONE
ALIENHORSES?!
“Sweet Celestia!” I yelp, causing Twilight to fly over, wondering what my gasp was about. She quickly realizes what just happened, and smiles, with her eyes glittering with tears of joy!
“They love us, Starlight! The humans love us! I think we’re going to be famous! Noah, you made my day!” She says quickly scooping him up and hugging him with gratitude.
“Hehe…I changed two planets’ trajectories for the better. I just hope your citizens take this as nicely as mine did!” He says, Twilight finally putting him down. Trixie is jumping up and down with joy, elated that the Friendship Broadcast went successfully!
“Trixie is honored to be working for this school, Twilight. She can’t wait to help out!”
I quickly give my rider a peck on the cheek, and he blushes. “You changed my life, Noah. I love you.”
“I love you too, Starlight. Why don’t we take a victory lap?”
“What a swell idea! Have fun, you two!” Twilight says, zapping me and promptly equipping my riding gear, bit and bridle included! Noah can take a hint, and he hops on his adorable mare.
“See you three later, hyah Starlight!! ” Noah says, spurring me out the window. I am quite glad that the fog cleared up since our address, so I gallop out into a clear sky, launching myself and my rider into Celestia’s sky. I look at my rider, and we’re both quite happy. Usually, Noah’s the one to whoop for joy, but this time, it’s me! “AW, YEAH! WE MADE FIRST CONTACT!” I exclaim, flying higher and higher. Noah nudges me, and I turn my head back. I see Twilight following us, with Rebecca in tow! This is new!
“I told my communications director she is mandated to ride her princess for a victory lap. I need to practice what I preach, don’t I? It’s a one-time thing. I’ll find a rider later. Trixie is giving a press conference right now with First Draft. She’s in good hooves.” Twilight says, Noah’s sister holding on for dear life!
“Twilight. I am sticking to riding unicorns and Earth Ponies! I’m terrified of heights!” Rebecca shrieks, as Twilight chuckles.
“One time, I promise. You’ll stay with Trixie. I just want a victory lap, and I wanted to try this riding thing once!” She says, Rebecca still shrieking.
I see a rainbow above the horizon, too! With my rider forging our path, our two worlds are now on a collision course of Friendship!
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Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
Chapter 30: The School of Friendship Opens (For Real, This Time!)
Noah:
I know I’ve said this before, but pizza in Equestria is really good. It’s much tastier than pizza on Earth, and the few humans that have visited Equestria so far have mostly agreed with me. This celebratory party is the culmination of everything that Starlight and I have been working on for the past few weeks. I feel very accomplished, which is something I don’t usually feel! I’m on my second slice of pizza, and I was in the middle of having a riveting conversation with Maud Pie about geology on Earth.
“Wait, you are telling me that silicate minerals make up 90% of your planet’s crust?” Maud asks, extremely interested in my planet’s natural resources.
“I think so? I vaguely remember learning something along that line in high school science class? You’d have to visit Earth yourself and ask some notable geologists.” I reply, trying to do my best to answer Maud’s question.
“Well, I know that on Equestria, the planet’s crust is comprised mostly of silicates, closer to 95 percent than 90 percent. It’s very interesting to hear that your planet’s geological structure is close in scale to ours. Now, one more geology question before somepony else needs you.” Maud says. I nod, wondering what she’s going to ask me.
“What about rare earth metals? I wrote my Master’s dissertation on those. Any magical properties, too? I know that rare earth metals in Equestria react heavily to unicorn magic, along with magnetic fields!” Maud states, combing through her saddlebag and trying to find the citation that could prove her claim.
“Noah, c’mere you silly human! I need to talk to you!” Starlight hollers from across the palace courtyard. I groan in annoyance, and begin to make my way over towards her.
“Where the hay do you think you’re going, Noah?” Maud asks, trotting next to me, finally showing me her proof that rare earth metals react strongly to unicorn magic.
“GlimGlam needs me for something. Can we continue this conversation another time?” I ask, my “Friendship Graduate” lapel reflecting sunlight. Maud nods sadly. “Yeah…I guess. It’s been so long since somecreature has been interested in geology. I feel like I am not alone. It’s fine. We’ll continue another time.” Maud says, giving Starlight a stink eye. She trots off, and I now give my marefriend my undivided attention.
Starlight is sitting at a table with her Great and Powerful chief of staff, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and Princess Celestia. She’s probably on her fifth piece of pizza, knowing Starlight Glimmer and her food habits. One thing I’ll never agree with her on is having pineapple on pizza. I find it gross, but she likes it. I mean, who puts pineapple on pizza? I don’t see the appeal! My marefriend waves, and magicks a new chair into existence.
“Sit next to me! I was just telling Princess Twilight about how you graduated her program by giving Friendship to somecreature who needs it the most!” Starlight says, beckoning me to sit down next to her. I make my way to the empty chair, and Twilight looks at me with the biggest, silliest smile on her purple muzzle.
“I am so proud of you, Noah! You graduated!” Twilight says, extremely happy that I finished her program. I smile at the small act of praise, and Starlight plants an innocent kiss on my cheek.
“And he had a stellar teacher who helped him along the way, if I do say so myself.” Starlight jests. Princess Twilight sighs, and lets out a small chuckle.
“Alrighty. Now, I need you to complete a full metacognition analysis on the Friendship Studies program. You can do it later, but since you are the first human to complete my program, I expect you to take due diligence on this final assignment!” Twilight says, zapping a medium sized portfolio into Starlight’s saddlebag.
Meanwhile, Trixie is scribbling something down in her journal, not really paying attention to the rest of us. I am somewhat interested in what she’s writing, but I know what it’s like to be in a full frenzy of productivity. I don’t want to be the human responsible for infinging on her success. A good minute passes, and she finally completes her task. Closing her journal, Trixie notices that I’ve arrived.
“Oh, hi Noah! Trixie is very happy to see you! She was just finishing Starlight’s second attempt at the opening speech! Want to take a peek?” The showmare asks me. Starlight taps Trixie on the shoulder, and clears her throat.
“Not now, Trixie. Not now. We’re celebrating, not getting work done. Have a slice of pizza! Find your human and have fun! ” Starlight cheers, taking an unprincesslike chug of her cider, slamming the mug into the table at full force. She chuckles, and smiles at me. “Don’t worry, kid. It’s nonalcoholic. I want to fly home with you. I made sure to ask for foal-friendly cider today!” Starlight explains, putting me at ease. The last thing I want is to ride my goddess pony home while she’s inebriated!
Princess Celestia casts a spell and lifts a spoon into the air. She gently taps it against her glass, and everycreature at the celebration in Celestia’s courtyard quickly redirects their attention to the sun deity. Princess Celestia puts on her statespony look, and a real, genuine smile.
“Good afternoon, my friends from Equus and Earth!” Celestia begins, before being interrupted by cheers and merriment. She laughs, and hushes the crowd. It takes a few moments, but eventually all who are present calm down and yield the floor to Princess Celestia. She takes a moment to inhale calmly, before continuing her address; or is she trying to start a toast?
“Earlier today, my fellow Princesses Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer successfully argued in front of the Bridle today why the School of Friendship should be allowed to open.” She looks at Starlight and smiles. “Starlight, you are a phenomenal debater, orator, and fact checker. I am sure that Princess Twilight was very happy to have you on her team.” Celestia says, making my marefriend smile.
“Twilight. My student, my lovely pupil.” She continues, trying to remain emotionless. I am bad at reading emotions, but I think Celestia is using all of her might to not cry!
“You are filling very big hooves as the Princess of Friendship. Not only have you done a stellar job at maintaining Harmony in our land, but you are also spearheading an unprecedented program to share Friendship to creatures here and abroad. Monday is going to be a very big day for you. All of Equestria will witness you and Starlight open the school in Ponyville, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.”
Finally, the sun deity redirects her focus to me. She looks at me, and smiles. “Don’t think I forgot about you, Noah!” Celestia laughs. “You are the first human in millennia to ever visit my land. Not only did you quickly learn the Equestrian way of Harmony and Friendship, but you also managed to come out of your shell. I hope you can be a good example of what humanity can show ponykind.”
She raises her glass, which I think has champagne in it, and begins a toast. “I dedicate this toast to everycreature who has been an instrumental component of starting this new School of Friendship. Cheers to all!”
Everypony (everycreature, since my sister and Shaun were here, too.) raised their glasses in elation and joy, and drank in honor of the Princess’ toast. Starlight taps me on the shoulder, and gives me her usual villainous smile.
“You and I are going to have a lot of fun with this school, Noah. Monday is three days away. Are you excited?” She asks me. Am I excited? Of course I am!
***
MONDAY:
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Well, it’s Monday! Today’s the day that I open my brand new School of Friendship. I am very happy that Rebecca went back to Earth over the weekend to explain the whole Hoofibuster debacle to human governments. They were not particularly upset. They said “democracy is complicated”, and they were pleased we managed to solve this issue amongst ourselves. As for the nonpony creatures in Equestria, I received a similar response. Today will be the second attempt at opening the school, and I am sure that it will go swimmingly.
I get out of my king sized bed, and go through my usual morning routine. I braid my mane, preen my wings, brush my teeth, and ask Spike to make me breakfast. I was nice to him today, just a slice of toast with peanut butter, and a cup of coffee, black. Dragonflame is a very efficient toasting mechanism! I ought to study its properties further!
Whenever I eat my breakfast, I always read the Ponyville Post. It’s a custom I adopted as a filly, and I stick to it like glue! Today’s headline shows me, Starlight, and Noah, smiling in front of the camera for the school’s opening rehearsal. As always, First Draft does an excellent job at explaining the school, and he was very objective.
“Twilight, are you stressed?” Spike asks me, as I finish my coffee. I sigh and nod. “Normal levels of stress, Spike. Nothing serious. Do you know if everypony is going to be at the ceremony today?” I ask him. He grabs my notepad from the dining room, and quickly combs through my notes.
“Well, I think the Elements of Harmony are going to be there. I don’t know about Princesses Celestia and Luna. They are probably busy today. Opening ceremony is in one hour. Be there or be square! Also-.”
Spike was interrupted by the sound of the drawbridge opening. I trot over to the window, and I see Rebecca mounted atop Trixie. The dynamic duo are clearly excited, both showing large smiles on their faces.
“Hi Princess Twilight!” Trixie shouts, finally trotting towards the castle entrance now that the drawbridge is lowered properly!
“Hi Trixie. Always nice to see you. What’s up? Aren’t you and Rebecca supposed to be at the School of Friendship handling the incoming creatures?” I ask, to which Rebecca replies: “Yeah, but there’s something I wanted to tell you.”
What does Rebecca want to tell me? I wave them in, and Trixie gallops inside, making her way up the four flights of stairs to my private quarters in the Castle of Friendship. The showmare is in a cold sweat, and her rider is taking care of her mount, giving Trixie a bottle of water when she dismounts. Trixie embraces Rebecca, and smiles.
“Thank you so much for the water, Rebecca. Trixie is very happy to hang out with you.” Rebeca smiles, and returns the hug. “No problem, Trixie, my Great and Adorable friend…”
“Alright, alright. Enough with the semantics. What’s so important that you two ditched the final preparations for the School of Friendship’s opening?” I ask, quite eager to hear what this “clear and present danger” might be.
Rebecca takes a deep breath, and exhales calmly. Trixie does the same, before Trixie begins.
“Trixie wanted to tell you that she’s afraid of fusing souls with her rider…” She says sheepishly, very blush. Rebecca laughs, and pets Trixie, trying to calm her down.
“Well…kind of, Princess Twilight. I asked her if we could do that unicorn soul fusion thing, so I could learn magic.” Rebecca explains.
“Uh-huh.” I say, spawning my notebook and writing down Rebecca’s grievances.
“Trixie thinks that fusing souls will make her fall in love with me. I am not of the female persuasion, like she is, and Trixie thinks that the soul fusion is ethically questionable.” Rebecca says, trying not to laugh. I don’t see what the problem is, exactly? Shaun, the nonverbal human, fused souls with Rarity, and he’s not head over hooves for my friend (at least, I don’t think he is?). I take a minute to think about what Rebecca and Trixie have told me, and analyze all of my notes.
“I am a bit curious why you two didn’t ask Starlight and Noah? They are a fused unit. I’m not fused with a human rider, so I don’t really know enough about it.” I ask, wondering what I can do to help. Trixie looks at Rebecca with a look of concern, and the two creatures try to remain calm.
“I wasn’t trying to make this into a whole ordeal, Princess. I just thought learning magic would make my job as your press secretary somewhat easier.” Rebecca says, feeling somewhat remorseful for bringing this issue up front. I wish I was able to do something more to help, but I really don’t know enough about the full human-pony fusion to provide adequate information. I sigh, and provide my answer.
“I’ll tell you what, Trixie and Rebecca. I need to find a human of my own. Maybe one of my students will be willing? I’ll provide an adequate lab report and gert back to you two. I need definitive proof that the fusion process can remain platonic.” I explain. Trixie and Rebecca nod, and both smile at me.
“Thanks!” They say in unison. Rebecca remounts Trixie, and directs the showpony towards the exit of my castle.
“See you two there!” I say, finally ready to depart for the school. Spike waves goodbye to Rebecca and Trixie, and they gallop away. To be completely honest, I didn’t think of the full romantic and platonic ramifications of soul fusion. It does deserve more scholarship! Once I see that Trixie and Rebecca have left the castle grounds safely, I approach my window and spread my wings, trying to get a feel for today’s air currents. Rainbow Dash always tells me to do this before I take off.
“Don’t be gone for long, Twilight.” Spike groans, expecting to spend more time with me today.
“Oh relax. Today’s just the opening ceremonies. No studies are taking place today. It’s a few speeches, a meet and greet, and a brief luncheon. Nothing serious, I promise!” I say, trying to reassure the young drake. He nods, seemingly understanding of the circumstances.
“Understood, Twilight. Fly safely, and have fun!” He says. I smile at him, before finally taking off towards Ponyville’s own School of Friendship.
The weather today is gorgeous as ever! I am sure Princess Celestia made an extra effort to rearrange the sun and clouds today to be in their optimal positions over Ponyville. If there was ever a day for the weather to cooperate, it’s today! I expect my flight to the School of Friendship to take fifteen minutes. I might as well enjoy the flight!
***
Starlight Glimmer:
I’m so excited! I am sure Noah is, too! The two of us just finished setting up all the chairs outside the school, and Trixie and Rebecca just made their way back here. I wonder why they bolted towards Twilight’s castle? It must have been important, but I am not nosy enough to ask right now. The Elements of Harmony, save for Twilight, finally arrive and sit down at their respective seats. Each one of their chairs is adorned with their respective Cutie Mark, and their title as an Element. They get front row seats! Lyra, Bon Bon, and Maud Pie arrive as well, sitting in their respective seats as staff of the school. Mrs. Weiss was inside the building a few minutes ago checking something, but she’s back now!
“Hi Starlight!” Pinkie Pie says, waving rapidly at me. She’s hyperactive as usual today, it seems!
“Hello, are you ready to help me open the school today?” I ask her. She nods vigorously. “Oh yeah, I am super, duper ready! I just hope that Clockwork finally writes something useful and isn’t busy checking timelines and stuff. That unicorn is VERY unpredictable.”
Who the hell is Clockwork? It must be a “Pinkie Sense” thing, right? It must be. Pinkie is known for saying things that are crazy and unfounded. It’s nothing to worry about.
“Sure, whatever, Pinkie Pie.” I reply. She laughs at me, sticking out her tongue. “I hope you do well with your speech today. It’s going to make me happy!” She says with glee. The rest of the Elements present nod at her analysis.
“Yeah, it’s sure to be a crowd pleaser.” Fluttershy adds.
Noah taps me on the withers, alerting me of something. “Starlight. Twilight’s arriving soon. Look at the mulberry entrail in the sky!” He says, pointing his finger at the Princess of Friendship. Noah’s magical detection is certainly improving! Twilight descends gracefully, and is greeted to spontaneous ovation by all ponies present. She is flattered by the praise, but does her best to quiet everypony down, since the ceremony is about to begin.
“Guys, guys, seriously, it’s nothing!” Twilight says with a dangerous amount of casualness. Everypony laughs, and sits down respectfully.
I notice that the first of the nonpony students have made their appearance. I see a few yaks, the good changelings, hippogriffs, and the griffon and dragon students. I assume that the humans are still needing to travel via the quantum tunnel, so I will wait a bit longer before beginning my address. Noah looks around at the much smaller crowd and is pleased.
“I made sure for today’s event to only have the students and staff, rather than all the dignitaries like last time. It’s much easier to plan and organize like that.” Twilight explains to me. I nod in agreement with her, completely understanding her logic.
“Oh, yeah! I can totally see why. It’s also a lot better sensory-wise for the human neurodivergent students. Noah won’t stop talking about how much he loathes large crowds and the noise that they bring with them.” I say in a bit of a condescending voice. Twilight chuckles.
“Sounds like him, if we’re being honest.” Twilight says.
Her purple alicorn horn lights up, and Twilight is alerted to the quantum tunnels that are placed around the school grounds. They are finally online and running properly! One by one, the twenty five human students exit the portals in groups of five. They are a bit disoriented, at first, but quickly rebalance themselves and find empty chairs in the audience. Twilight spawns a podium, decked with her Cutie Mark. She trots up to the podium, and gently taps the microphone, alerting everycreature that she is ready to speak.
“Good morning, my lovely students!” Twilight begins, oh so eloquently. The human students wave, a bit nervous, and the nonpony students wave with no hesitation.
“I am so happy to have all of you here today for the first day of my School of Friendship! It’s very pleasant to have resolved all the legal trouble over the weekend. Don’t worry! You all have nothing to worry about today. There’s no classes scheduled. I just wanted to have everycreature here so you can all get acquainted with each other! The first step in Friendship is meeting new creatures! Before I let you all go and introduce yourselves, I’d like to invite Starlight and Noah to say a few words. Can you show them your gratitude?
The audience beaks into rapturous applause for my teacher and my rider, and I give the two creatures space to make their way to the podium. Noah is actually wearing dress clothes today. I think Rarity went above and beyond! I approach the microphone and smile.
“Hi! Some of you might not know me as well, and that’s okay! I’m Princess Starlight Glimmer, Princess of Justice. I co-run the school with Princess Twilight, and I will be teaching a few classes this semester. With me is my first student, and “rider”, Noah. He’s the first graduate of the program, and is willing to give me a helping “hand” with school! He’ll be very pleased to assist you students with your studies!”
I trot back a few steps, and give Noah the floor: “Morning! I’m Noah. I am very good friends with Starlight, and I can’t wait to make new friends! A little secret for you students. Equestrian citizens might be able to do some super fun stuff with Earthlings. I’m sure the humans will explain it all to you in due time. Just stay tuned!”
Noah leaves the podium, and Twilight and I make our way to the front door. It now has a rainbow-colored ribbon blockading the entrance. I cast a spell to bring the same giant pair of scissors from last time, and the two of us both envelop the tool in our magic’s grasp.
“As the Princess of Justice…”
“And as the Princess of Friendship…”
“We hereby inaugurate the School of Friendship, and open the institution for study! Have fun learning!”
Starlight Glimmer's First Student: A "Human"?!
CASTLE OF FRIENDSHIP, PONYVILLE: YEAR 5AT (After Twilight)
Well…I have to say that my life has been rather interesting since I was redeemed by my (relatively) new teacher, Twilight Sparkle. I don’t regret holding steadfast to my beliefs about equality, but…maybe preventing everypony from showing their talents wasn’t the best approach. If I get a second shot at establishing my commune, I’ll make sure “each to their ability, each according to their needs.”
Wait! I am losing focus. I was called to Twilight’s castle today for a special meeting. Is it a Friendship Lesson? Is it a new threat to Equestrian security? Maybe an alicorn promotion?! I don’t know, but I am rushing to get all of my stuff together to be at Twilight’s castle posthaste! Frankly, this flat that she managed to get for me in Ponyville isn’t that bad. It’s a 3 and a half bedroom apartment, with good magic connection and a two minute walk from Sugarcube Corner. On a good day, it’s a 10 minute walk to Twilight’s, but it’s very windy today, so I am factoring that in, as well.
Twilight doesn’t let me teleport anymore…she says that I need to get in touch with the basics of Friendship and day to day living before I can do that. In a way, I get that, but I don’t like galloping in the wind! It messes up my mane, which takes forever to maintain properly. I do have to count my blessings, thank Celestia that it’s only windy and not raining…not to mention a reasonably warm 18 degrees today (that’s 64.4 Fahrenheit for you Fillydelphian ponies who use the Imperial units!). The only thing that still bugs me is that most ponies have very good memories. Even though Twilight took me on as her personal student, most of Ponyville (and probably Equestria as a whole) still think of me as a ponicidal maniac who will steal their cutie marks! I won’t…that was part of my plea agreement! I get these weird stares of apathy and contempt from everypony I see. I don’t blame them. Friendship is Magic, but trauma still exists! It doesn’t go away overnight!
Now, finally making my way to the moat of the Castle, I show the two pegasi guards my photo ID, and they salute the sentry pony at the watchtower who lowers the gate. You’d think that in happy-go-lucky Ponyville that the security would be lax, but I guess not! As the wooden gate/bridge lowers, I continue to think what could be so important to warrant a special meeting with Twilight, let alone an additional meeting at that. Her schedule is so busy that this must have cost a horn and a hoof to arrange!
Finally trotting along the bridge to get inside, I am still amazed at the majesty of this castle. Apparently, it spawned out of a chest after Twilight and her friends did these friendship quests, defeated this guy named Tirek, and prevented a cataclysm! To be honest, I find most of Twilight’s friends to be rather annoying (especially Rainbow Dash…she reminds me of Trixie with her ego and braggadocio!), but I have learned to keep my muzzle shut about stuff like that.
The castle is rather large, with four flights of stairs to arrive at Twilight’s private study. I actually like that room in the castle the most…I like quiet places where I can just read, think out loud, and be away from the cacophony of life! I must admit that my frequent use of teleporting in the past has left me rather out of shape, so I am quite out of breath by the time I get to the top of the stairs. Taking a few moments to compose myself, I trot quietly and promptly to Twilight’s study, knocking on the acacia wood door, engraved with her cutie mark on it.
“Starlight? Is that you? One minute, I’ll let you in!” I hear Twilight say in her rather shrill voice.
“Y…yeah, Princess…it’s me!” I replied promptly.
“Please…just Twilight. I am fed up with all this formal crap. You’re my student, not my subject!”
And with that, the door magically opens. The study is rather quaint, fitting for the Friendship monarch’s erudite nature. Even though her castle has over 250,000 books, I could spot at least 2,500 here, in at least fifteen different languages! Not to mention a bean bag, Spike’s basket, and a giant mural of herself with Princess Celestia when Twilight was a filly at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. It also would make sense that at the front of her desk, next to the picture of herself with the Elements of Harmony, that there is a labeled sign that says: “Princess Twilight Sparkle. The Buck Stops Here!” A bit crass, but I respect that in a pony. Twilight is wearing her reading glasses, looking at an old scroll which seems to be written in Ancient Ponish. Is it a footnote from Starswirl’s journal? I’ll ask later.
She lowers the papyrus scroll with her magic and looks me straight in the eye with a warm, genial smile, the one a parent would give to their foal.
“Good morning, Starlight Glimmer! Did you sleep well? Do you want coffee? I am more than happy to provide coffee if you need it!” Twilight says, taking a sip from her own mug that says “Friendship or Bust!” on it. She uses her magic to pull out the faux-leather chair opposite her spot at the desk, inviting me to sit down. I do so, noticing that my teacher likes her cushions rather firm . If it were my office, they would be soft and squishy!
“No, no thank you, Twilight. I have an addictive personality, so I avoid things like caffeine! Caffeine is tame compared to power…and I was addicted to that. I am a cold turkey pony!” I reply, to which Twilight seems understanding about. I mean, it was only a whole year ago when I dueled Twilight in Cloudsdale, time traveled to undo her legacy, and did a bunch of nasty things that I regret!
“That’s alright. Shining Armor can’t go a day without Cadence making him a coffee…I can see how it’s addicting. Now! To business!” She says, using magic to promptly summon a giant notebook that I swear is at least 1,000 pages long.
“Um…Twilight? What is that? I could have sworn that you told me that most of Friendship Lessons were done in practice, not in theory. Did you change your mind? Is there a new kind of magic we need to cover?” I am not trying to annoy her, but I am a bit confused by this change of pace. Twilight is usually very consistent, so did something bad happen? I hope I’m not the reason for it!
She tries to hide a chuckle, but I am not a foal! I can see her doing that.
“No, no, no! It’s nothing like that. It’s actually a brand new kind of Friendship Lesson that I spent months trying to convince Princess Celestia to give me the funding for. You see…even though you are my first student, I find that your progress has been rather…astonishing, to say the least. I don’t know if you are just trying too hard, or if you just have a knack for it, but both Celestia and I think you’re all caught up! No need for me to teach you anymore!”
Wait…that’s it? I had to come all the way here just to hear Princess Twilight tell me I graduated from her program? Why didn’t she just write me a letter or something, like she usually does to notify me of the formalities!
“I…I’m a bit confused, Twilight. Last week you said we still had loads to cover before the Grand Galloping Gala-”
I was gently interrupted by Twilight using her magic to pass me the giant notebook of pages.
“And I meant it! I am giving you your first student. You see, I have been trying to convince Celestia for years to open an actual institution for the study of tangible Friendship, but she told me I needed results. Now, I have results! Want me to keep going?”
Uh…sure? I mean I don’t really have a choice in the matter.
“Go on, Twilight. I am always interested in learning something new! What new Friendship tactics can we use? Will we be able to convince nonponies to make friends with Equestria?”
Twilight nods, signaling that I was on the right track; however I am still lost as to where she may be going with this. Using her magic, she opens the first page of the giant notebook, and shows me what appears to be another planet!
“Is…is that a planet? What does a planet have to do with Friendship?” I ask innocently, unsure of where my mentor is taking this. Twilight has a lot of crazy ideas, some of them work out while others don't. Better keep my muzzle shut and my ears open!
“This is another planet. I don’t know what it’s called, but it is very similar to that other world I’ve been to before, where Sunset Shimmer lives. Do you remember that?”
To be completely honest, I have been so overrun with Friendship Studies, trying to clean up my act, and making a few bits to be able to eat that I haven’t been paying as much attention to the “Mane 6”’s escapades as I should be. I shake my head, signaling that I don’t remember this other world.
“It’s okay if you don’t, Starlight. The creatures that live in this world, based on the very little data I’ve procured, are like those in Sunset’s dimension. They are in dire need of Friendship!”
Hold on…my leftist senses are tingling. This sounds like an imperialist ambition on behalf of Celestia, under the guise of Friendship! I know my history, I know what happened when Equestria made first contact with the Seaponies and Kirins! It…was not cupcakes and rainbows, to say the least!
“Isn’t that imperialistic, Twilight? What happened to letting everypony do what they think is best for themselves! Do we really need to manifest destiny?”
Twilight looks at me with a stink eye, annoyed that I turned something she deems wholly nonpartisan into a political affair. It’s not my fault that I am a learned pony (but then again, so is she!).
“No, silly! We’re not going to annex a whole planet with 8 billion creatures! All I want you to do is find one of these creatures, bring them to Equestria of their own free will, and teach them the Magic of Friendship! I’ve already found the perfect candidate!”
Well…I am not totally convinced. There could very well be ulterior motives to this idea, but I am not in the mood to make Twilight mad at me today, so I let her continue explaining this radical plan. She casts a projection spell onto the wall of her study, right on top of her Cutie Mark logo. It takes a minute for her spell to buffer with her purple magic, but after a few tedious moments, I see something…sad!
I don’t know how to fully describe it, but I see something that I’ve never seen before! It looks like a minotaur, but…just the fact that this thing is bipedal! It doesn’t have any fur, it stands upright, and this particular specimen is a male. It seems this fellow is just past his adolescent stage, so he’s probably around my age, late teens!
“Princess, what are these creatures called?” I ask my teacher with a straight muzzle. She puts her forehoof to her muzzle, trying to remember what these creatures are called.
“I think they are called…”he-you-mains”. Maybe that’s an older pronunciation of the word, I am not sure. What I do know is that this one is very lonely and needs a friend! Preliminary reports show that he was bullied his entire life and has a social deficiency…Kinda like me before Princess Celestia sent me to Ponyville!”
That’s right! My teacher is “neurodivergent”. I remember Maud Pie telling me about that one time, since she has the same problem…hyperfixation with stuff, lack of natural empathy, and uncanny intelligence!
“So…this “He-you-main”, is alone, sad, and needs a friend, right? How exactly am I supposed to help in that regard?” I ask Twilight, eager to be proactive for my first potential student.
Twilight takes a deep breath, and then continues.
“I don’t know much about these “He-you-main”s, but I know that if we don’t help this one…we’ll have blood on our hooves! My data shows that these creatures are like ponies: they need social interaction to survive! I assume that you know the universal translation spell, so communicating with this young one might be easy for you, and-”
I raise my hoof, with a question, even though it interrupted Twilight’s train of thought.
“Hold on, how do I even get to this new alien planet? Is there…a spell, a portal, a spell to make a portal, or-”
Twilight interrupts me in turn, with her own reply:
“Well…the way that I got to Sunset’s dimension was through a magical mirror. I just changed the frequencies on that mirror to this new planet. It shouldn’t be that hard. So: That’s the task. Find this “He-you-main”, teach him the Magic of Friendship, and hope that he teaches it to his species! Seems simple enough. No imperialism at all, he can even refuse this offer, although it would be stupid to do so. You leave in 30 minutes! Royal edict!”
30 minutes?! To meet a stranger and make him my friend? How is this even going to work? I…I don’t think I am up for the task! Regardless, I keep my muzzle shut as Twilight explains the minutiae of this mission. I take notes, and Twilight is nice enough to pack me a saddlebag for the trip. She teleports the two of us to the room where the Cutie Map is, and I see a rather large, pink mirror, swirling with magic.
“So…this is the magic mirror? Where am I even going to show up?” I ask Twilight, who smiles.
“I think the “He-you-main” settlement you will appear in is called “Mount-ree-ale”, but I am not sure. Good luck, and may Celestia be with you!” Twilight says, embracing me with her wings!
Well…I don’t really have a choice in the matter, and Twilight is eyeing me with determination to see whether I am going to go through with this. Slowly but surely, I trot towards the portal, putting one hoof at the glass, seeing it ripple.
“Come on, Starlight! I know you can do it! I have faith in you!” Twilight says, encouraging me to keep going. I take a deep breath, and walk thro-
AAAH!! My entire body feels like it’s being ripped apart, atom by atom! It hurts so much, and I feel like spaghetti! At least there’s no blood! If my body was tangible at this point, I would have closed my eyes, but…I couldn’t! I felt weird for a few minutes, but then, I was launched out of the quantum rift into a giant pile of snow!
Brrrrr! It’s so cold! I don’t even see the portal, so I guess I am stuck here for now! I try using magic, and for some reason, it works! I give myself more suitable attire for the cold, and crawl my way out of the snow pile. As I reorient myself, I see a “He-you-main” staring at me holding a shovel, which he promptly drops onto the floor in sheer terror. I am 6 feet tall, and this fellow is a wee bit shorter than me, maybe 5’9?
“Sweet…Merciful…Crap!” He says, running inside his house and locking the door.
Wait! This “He-you-main” is the same one as the picture Princess Twilight showed me!
Time to give someone a friend!
