Sunny Cheeks

by Andrew Joshua Talon

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Princess Celestia, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Comedy, Porn, Sex
Length: 1084

Shepherd just wants nachos. Celestia wants spankings. Perhaps they can come to an arrangement?

Shepherd just wants nachos. Celestia wants spankings. Perhaps they can come to an arrangement?

A commission for yakopak. Short, smutty, and fun. Enjoy!

Featured on 1/31! Thank you so much!

Published 2022-01-31 02:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2022-01-31 02:40:04 UTC

One

Sunny Cheeks

A My Little Pony fanfic by Andrew Joshua Talon

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-made work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro. Please support the official release

I don’t really know how I ended up becoming a confidant for the Princesses. Maybe it’s just because I’m kind of an outsider, like them. I can’t really blend in with the other ponies either. My form is rather alien, and ponies see me as some kind of divine warrior, or a menace. They have similar problems, just with the issues of running an entire kingdom over thousands of years.

So I can at least connect with them on that level.

That said… They can become… A bit much, from time to time. I mean, they’re not perfect. Nor am I. They are also very kind, and helpful, even beautiful…

But still. Randomly popping up in my house, and lying over my lap while I was trying to relax in my recliner, is really annoying.

“Princess Celestia,” I said slowly, “I just want to eat my nachos in peace. Please get off my lap.”

Celestia smiled up at me cheekily.

“Nuh uh.”

I reached out for my nachos, but Celestia seized it with her magic. She moved it away from me.

I leaned back in my chair and looked up at the ceiling. I let out a breath through my nostrils, exasperated.

“Don’t you have a country to run?” I asked.

“Luna’s handling the night court,” Celestia said, “and I wanted to sit on your lap.”

“Well get off, you’re heavy,” I grumbled. Celestia frowned, her lower lip wobbling.

“Are… Are you saying… I’m fat?” She whimpered. I rolled my eyes.

“Yes. You are eating too much cake. Again,” I deadpanned. “Your fat ass is way too big. It is crushing me.”

“Boohoo, how are you so cruel to me?” Celestia mock cried, holding her hoof up over her eyes.

I sighed.

“Your ability to cry on command is amazing, truly,” I said. “But it doesn’t move me.”

“You’re so cruel,” Celestia sniffled. “You won’t let me lay on your lap and you’ll probably spank me. You cruel, terrible human.”

I rubbed my forehead and sighed.

“Your diplomatic skills are amazing,” I grumbled. Celestia wiggled her wide bottom, mock sniffling again.

“You beastly human! Don’t lay your wicked hands on me!”

I groaned.

“I’m not going to get my nachos if I don’t spank you, am I?”

Celestia sniffled, but managed a nod.

“You’re not as slow as you look,” she blubbered.

I scowled, looking heavenward… And brought my hand up. I then brought it down as hard as I could against her round, firm bottom, making it jiggle pleasantly. Celestia gasped happily, and gave me an eager smile as her tears vanished.

“That’s more like it!” She cried.

“Why is every mare here so goddamn thirsty?” I grumbled. I slapped her ass hard again, and she rubbed herself against my lap.

“Are you really-Mm, complaining?” Celestia asked, as I spanked her once again.

“Yes, a little,” I returned, slapping her rump harder. Celestia hummed happily, and raised her large, round ass up higher. I had to admit, it was very attractive. And the teats between their legs weren’t bad either-They actually resembled human breasts in many ways.

Goddamnit, I am so thirsty too. I kept spanking the princess, as hard as I could, no longer concerned with the fact that the princess could no doubt feel my hard on.

She was probably counting on that.

I grabbed her long, flowing mane. It felt just like normal hair, despite the fact it kept waving like it was in the wind. I tugged on it hard, in time with my next strikes. Celestia groaned happily, grinding herself on my lap. She was really big, geez, but she was also very soft and warm. It was kind of like spanking an Amazon, I suppose.

“Mmph! Mm! Mm! Mm! Y-yes! Yes!” Celestia cried happily, as I kept spanking her with all my might. Red marks appeared on her round cheeks, and there was a primal part of me that was very happy with the fact I’d left a mark on the princess.

Like she was my woman. My female. The fact she was letting me do this was… Hoo boy.

Well, there was no why about that boner.

I paused my strikes long enough to squeeze her large, hanging teats. I bit back a groan.

“Damn,” I muttered, as Celestia moaned happily.

These were the first tits I’d laid hands on in years. Literal years. And yes, it was awesome.

I went back to spanking, slapping her cheeks as hard as I could. Her cheeks jiggled happily, as she groaned loudly. I squeezed her tits again, and slapped them around. Celestia squeezed her thighs together tightly, and let out a low moan.

My lap was soaked, as the princess slumped atop me. She leaned to the side, and my eyes widened.

“Wait wha-URK!”

I waved my hands frantically as my recliner fell back.

“N-No! NO WAI-!”

The back of the chair slammed into the floor, and Celestia’s body smothered my face.

“Oh dear!” Celestia cried, shaken out of her afterglow. “Shepherd? Are you all right?”

I groaned. She got up onto unsteady legs… And fell back on top of me.

“GAH!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry Shepherd!”

Celestia used her magic to get to her hooves. She then lifted me up with the same, tingly magical stuff.

“Are you okay? I will do whatever I can to make this up to you! I will marry you, bear you foals, do the most depraved sexual acts I can imagine!”

I looked up into her beautiful eyes with a smile.

“Are my nachos safe?” I asked. Celestia gave me a wry look.

“Yes.”

“Then I’m fine.”

Celestia shook her head and nuzzled me. She hovered the bowl of nachos over to me, and took a chip. I took one as well, and we dipped them into my salsa.

“Weirdo,” she said.

“Says the princess who wanted me to spank her,” I muttered. Celestia chuckled, and kissed the top of my head.

“I want you to do a lot more than spank me~.”

“Who’s the weirdo now?”

“Just kiss me, my silly little human,” she chuckled.

And so I did.

After we finished the nachos, of course.

Author's Note

Short, and a bit stupid. But I hope you enjoyed it.