Trippy Ponies: Weekend At Pinkies

by TheTwerp

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Sex, Random, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Original Character
Length: 6859

After our favourite fluffy pink baker buys a pack of premium sugar for a super special party for her friends, she gets a lot more than she bargains for. Join Pinkie Pie and her new bestest friend Smokey as they try to save her friends.

After our favourite fluffy pink baker buys a pack of premium sugar for a super special party for her friends, she gets a lot more than she bargains for. Join Pinkie Pie and her new bestest friend Smokey as they try to save her friends from an anti-princess flower garden, a sarcastic green brick, a bunch of carnivorous clouds and an incredibly crude sewing machine.

~~ Not a Clop fic! Tagged for mature due to crude language and Drug usage and references, if you don't like don't read. ~~
~~ This is a re-write because the first draft was crap. ~~

Published 2012-09-14 03:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-15 22:01:18 UTC

The Colour Purple

"I remember I was in a club with Bret. He came over sweating his bag off, this weird look in his eyes."
"Taken to much I bet."
"Oh yeah."
"What was wrong with him?"
"Some guy had brought a BMX into the club and was doing bunny hops on the bar."
"...and nobody cared?"
"No! Everyone was off their face dude!"
"So what was wrong with Bret?"
"Well he grabbed me and said real shaky like "Dude, there is a guy on a bike down there, right?""
"What?"
"Fucker was freaking out dude, thought it was all in his head! Man I couldn't stop laughing at him."
- Conversation between friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The waiting was starting to become torturous.

*Click*

*Clack*

Most ponies had stopped earlier to watch the spectacle. When Ponyville's fluffy baker started to do something different than the usual party throwing then most ponies stopped to take note. It helped when rearranging schedules to avoid anything that was likely going to happen later.

*Click*

*Clack*

She had been bouncing in front of the mailbox for the last hour as she waited for her package to arrive. Her hooves ached from the constant switching between bouncing and opening the mailbox. Her mental state had rapidly deteriorated over the last hour from happy, to sad, to really sad, to kind of happy and then back to sad.

"Oou! It should of been here by now!" She said aloud.

*Click*

*Clack*

"Hey'a Pinkie!" An approaching voice called out. Blinking rapidly she turned around to find Post Haste the mailpony standing behind her. "Wow, you sure do look excited."

*Gasp*

"Postie! You're here!" She chirped happily. "You're here! You're here! You're here-eerre!"

"Whoa now, calm down Pinkie." He said with a chuckle. The tall lanky stallion shook his head at the exuberance of the pink mare as she hopped around him in a circle. Rolling his eyes he reached back into the satchel and removed a small brown paper parcel. She adopted the look he had grown to find adorable as her eyes became wide and round like a foal on hearts warming eve.

"H'er ya goo." He called clumsy, the package held in his mouth.

*Squee*

"Fank ou!" She sang out as she plucked the parcel from the mail pony. Giggling and hopping from hoof to the other she placed the parcel carefully into her own saddlebags. Once properly secured she looked back at the lanky stallion who was still smiling warmly.

She had always like the tall stallion, he reminded her of her uncle "Winter Pie" a decidedly normal pony who loved his little niece to bits. Winter Pie was an actual pie maker rather than a rock farmer like his brother. He was one of the most famous pie chefs in all of Rough Shod, the small city near to her fathers rock farm. Being quite well off in terms of money and with no pony to spend it on, as he was never able to maintain a marefriend, he was forever buying presents for his nieces. Although this had repercussions on her parents who didn't like the way he spoiled their children. In the end though the thing that Pinkie really enjoyed about Winter Pie was his normalcy. Whatever the adventure was with Pinkie and her sisters, Winter Pie was there with a warm smile, a good hearted chuckle and big mug of coco.

"I wonder if Postie would like Uncle Wintie?" She thought to herself. "I'll have to invite Wintie over again and see!"

She had noticed that whenever this stallion was around a strange bubbly, prickly feeling would course through her chest. She loved this wonderful sensation even if she didn't really know why it was there. Feeling it again she cast her gaze back to the mail pony. Post Haste was just signing something and placing his pad back into the satchel. She felt her legs tingle and heat began to build in her face. Whenever the mail pony came by she always felt a strange need to interact with him. Unaware of a blush forming on her cheeks she launched into a happy rush of speech.

"Say Postie, me and my friends are having a super funerific party at Sugar Cube Corner for my birthday! Do you want to come too? It's at six o'clock if you do." She finished panting a little, oblivious to her face that now glowed with a red hue.

Whether he noticed or not he didn't show it. "Sure Pinkie, I love your parties"

*Squee*

Rushing forward she swept him into a firm hug. "Oh goodie! It's going to be so much fun! Even more now you are coming!"

He merely laughed heartly before returning the hug. "Hehe, I'm sure it will. Oh and happy birthday!"

Pinkie felt a shiver seep down her spine. "Eep!" Jumping back she felt confused as her face was quickly becoming really hot and sweaty.

"Th-Thank yo-u P-P-Postie!" She said her tongue turning to rubber. "We-Well I have to be o-off!

"Ok me too. I'll see you later then!" A simple wave alongside another warm chuckle and he was off, trotting back to his rounds.

*Sigh*

Letting out a dreamy breath she watched with keen interest as the mail pony sauntered away, her ears and tail flicking around. "I have my best friends coming, lots of presents and my favourite stallion friend in all of Ponyville is going to come too. Oh this is going to be the best birthday EVER!"

Her thoughts finished she let out a happy snort as she dashed back into the recesses of the bakery. She had a party to plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amidst the buildings of Ponyville, only a short walk away from Sugar Cube Corner, stood an ancient tree known as Golden Oaks Library. A place of learning, study and quiet contemplation. Most of the time anyway, ever since Celestia's favoured foal Twilight Sparkle had moved in to study the magic of friendship it had often become the scene of many magical explosions and mishaps. The ponies of Ponyville now took as much care noting the current look of the library or librarian as they did when noting something more unusual about Pinkie Pie's state of behaviour.

Today however many a pony was breathing a sigh of relief as it looked to be as normal as ever. The windows were not glowing with magical energies, no demons were descending from on high and the ground was it's normal colour. A happy purple unicorn sat in the centre of the libraries main lounge. She had been busy wrapping a present for her friends birthday. She hummed a silly tune as she made sure that it was again to the correct specifications detailed in the "Best way to wrap something!" handbook.

"Mhm, perfect!" She chirped, hooves clopping together in glee. "Oh I hope she likes it!"

"What did you get her again?" Called out a small dragon who approached holding a tea tray. "Let me guess, another book?"

*Hmph*

"No Spike." She uttered feeling offended. "I remember what you said about me and presents. So this time I got Pinkie something she'll really like I'm sure of it."

"What?" Spike said placing the tea tray in front of the unicorn. "C'mon, tell me!"

"Mhm, well..." She turned her nose up, pretending to think before letting out a laugh at the now pouting dragon. "Ok, I was looking for some kind of party treat and found a special batch of party balloons!"

"Balloons." Spike dead panned.

"Ugh, not just any balloons." She held the box up to her eyes. "These in here are "Presto's Super balloons!" they're special!"

"How so?" Spike asked feeling a bit more intrigued.

Putting the package down and grabbing the tea pot, the young unicorn poured herself a cup of tea. Once done she reached out with her magic to a nearby cupboard. The draw slid open and a spare balloon floated up and out. It hovered for a moment before sliding toward herself and the dragon.

"Well Presto was a prankster and loving throwing water balloons." She stated, her voice adopting what Spike liked to call lecture mode. "However he got in trouble one day with the police ponies, he threw one right at the chief of police as a joke. Suffice to say Hard Line, the chief, didn't find it funny and had Presto stop his pranks. So he decided to find another way to entertain himself."

The balloon stopped in front of her and she lifted the tea pot to pour the hot liquid into the rubber sleeve. "Uh, Twilight?"

"Hush, just watch."

As she poured the brown liquid into the balloon it began to fill up and expand. Unlike the explosion and mess Spike had been expecting it merely filled up like any other water balloon. Smiling knowingly Twilight filled it to breaking point and then tied the end.

"So what Presto did was place an enchantment onto the balloons." She continued, taking the now filled balloon and beginning to channel her magic and shift its form into that of a very crude looking dog. "As long as hot liquid is placed inside it will never break, never burn and will, when shaped properly..."

Placing the crude looking dog down she fell silent for a moment as it wobbled about and then burst into motion. "...Ha! Come to life!"

"Wow!" Spike shouted as the balloon animal silently shifted forward and began to nuzzle his claw. "That's amazing! I take it back Twilight you sure do know how to get somepony a great gift."

"Oh Spike." Twilight laughed, blushing a little at the praise. Sitting back and sipping at her tea she marvelled at the small balloon. It ran around in a circle as it chased the dragons finger, amused he placed his claw palm out to allow the little creature to jump up. Barking excitedly it leapt up onto the purple dragons head. She giggled as she watch it begin to chew at one of his spines before a sudden realization came upon her.

Spike's spines could be sharp.

"Uh, Spike I said it will never break but it still can be..."

*Bang*

*Spish*

"...cut." Nervously chuckling she shifted away from the mess now inching toward her hooves. "Hehe, oops?"

"Ugh." Wiping the tea from his face in a flourish he pinned the mare with an angry gaze. "Thanks Twilight. I just mopped this floor."

"Oh. Sorry." She said shuffling about feeling very awkward under the dragons fiery gaze.

*Knock, Knock*

"Ah, the door! Oh I wonder who that could be!" She said loudly, grateful for the interruption. Getting up to her hooves and trotting away from the irate dragon before he could find away to get back at her she headed downstairs toward the rapping noise.

*Knock, Knock*

"I'm coming!" She called out hurrying toward the door. Dropping from the stairs of the first level she trotted up to the shadow present behind visible through the porthole. "Who is it-"

*!*

"Hay this is a public place why are you knocking on the door?" She said pulling the latch and yanking the wooden door back to reveal the visitor.

"Hello, Twilight!" A happy mare yelled way to loudly.

"Ah!" Twilight jumped back startled before taking notice of who it was. A small grey mare with a bright blonde mane stood in front with a cheerful grin, her eyes swirling around in her head. "Oh it's you Derpy. You know you can just come in here, don't you?"

The mare's cheerful grin dropped to be replaced with an unsure frown. "Uh the boss said to knock everywhere I go."

"Why?"

"So I don't forget where it's Ok and where it's not." She said rubbing the back of her head. "My memory is sometimes bad."

"Actually...that's probably the best advice." Twilight mused internally.

"You're not mad are you?" Derpy asked tears welling in her eyes.

"What? No!" Twilight back-peddled. "No I'm not mad I just..."

*Sigh*

"...Sorry Derpy. No I'm not mad." Twilight said with a gentle smile. "So what can I do for you?"

"Oh! You got a letter." Derpy pulled a small envelope from her saddlebag, her manner becoming peppy again. "Ere!"

Wrapping the letter in a violet glow Twilight plucked it from the pegasai's mouth. "Oh thank you Derpy. Where is Post Haste? Is he ill?"

"Nope! We got a load of mail 'cos some train broke down. They sent a lot to us and we had to take ponies to spend time sorting them out. So, Postie has been given a longer route and I got his route."

"Ah I see. Well thank you Derpy."

"No problem, have a nice day!"

"You too."

With that the grey pegasus flew off whistling a happy tune. "Mhm, I wonder who this is from?"

“Dear Twily,

I hope you get this soon. I was going to come over but I am soooo busy with my our party later. So I got Mrs. Cake to give this to Derpy. Anyway you've got to come over as soon as you can! I got a very special present from a pony I know in Jamaneca and I want to share it with you and the others.

Come over real soon!

Love Pinkie”

"Twilight what's going on!" Spike called down, agitation no longer present in his tone.

"Just a letter from Pinkie saying to come over." She called back. "Do you want to come?"

“Mhm. Nah, i'll stay here and catch up on my naps!” Spike shouted. Rolling her eyes she chuckled lightly before donning a scarf and heading out into the street.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight Sparkle pulled her scarf tighter. The cold was biting and she fought against a series of shivers that threatened to crawl down her back. Despite the warm sun that shone down the whole of Ponyville was gripped by this bitter cold. According to Rainbow Dash the whole situation was due to a mismanagement issue, typical of Cloudsdale, leaving an excess of cold wind that needed to be burnt off.

"Ugh, if they would just let some unicorns to help with the management they wouldn't have these problems." She muttered irritably.

Cloudsdale and pegasai in general were very stubborn over their weather production systems. They refused to allow anypony other than pegasai in the weather teams. Which of course made sense in most cases anyway, earth ponies couldn't move clouds. However after an argument with Rainbow it was clear that not even unicorns with weather based magic could gain employment in the weather teams, something she had found infuriating. She reasoned it was just the inherent nature of a pegasus. They lived on the edge, high speed and fast thinking dominated their society. Even if it meant fast thinking into the wrong decisions.

"Brr, it's cold." She stated to nopony in-particular.

Her hooves soon found their destination however when the cheery sight of Sugar Cube Corner came into view. Even in this blistering cold the whole building emanated a warmth and happy feeling. Giggling a little Twilight picked up her pace, the tempting warmth and scent of a bakery were calling.

*Ring'a'ding*

"Hello!" Twilight said cheerfully, her irritation melting away in the heat of the chocolate scented building. Looking in the main room she found her friends stood around waiting as well.

"Oh hello girls!" Waving to the gaggle of colourful ponies she smiled as she trotted up to them.

Applejack was donning a green scarf alongside her Stetson. Being the ever down to earth farmer gave a hearty wave and large smile. "Hey'a Twi!"

Rarity was dressed in a gorgeous dress of velvet fabric, a set of snugly booties too. "Twilight, darling that scarf is adorable." She gushed as Twilight blushed at the praise.

Rainbow Dash being a pegasus and resistant to the cold was just lounging in a chair. "Sup egghead." She called playfully smirking at Twilights glower.

Fluttershy despite being a pegasus was wrapped up to the nines leaving only a escape for her wings and eyes. "Mhello..." She said voice muffled by the clothes.

"Uh you Ok Fluttershy?" Twilight asked pausing mid step.

"Mo yesh." Fluttershy responed meekly backing away.

"Don't mind her." Rainbow said fluttering off the couch to land beside Twilight. "Fluttershy has just got a cold. She always gets ill this time of year."

"Oh! Well you should go back to bed then!" Twilight voiced, worry filling her.

"Mo, no I'm mok." Fluttershy uttered shaking her wings to confirm that. "Mime jost-"

With a flash of blue magic the scarf surrounding the demure muzzle was yanked down. "Sorry darling but that was annoying." Rarity muttered before seeing the pegasus shrink down. "Uh! N-not being able to hear you, I mean...yes."

"Oh...well anyway Twilight I'm fine I just get a small case of the sniffles." At that moment the pegasus locked up her wings freezing mid flutter and her face contorting.

"Uh Flutters?" Rainbow pressed.

"Ah..." Fluttershy returned.

"Ah?"

"AHCHOO!" The butter pegasus let out one of the quietest sneezes Twilight had ever heard before being shot backwards a good few hoofsteps.

"'scuse you." Applejack said, amused at her friend's antics.

*Sniffle*

"Thank you."

"Well if you're sure Fluttershy." Twilight recovered, placing a gentle hoof to the sniffling mare. "So why are you girls here? Did Pinkie call you to?"

Applejack spoke first. "Yeah something 'bout a special present she got." Gesturing to the kitchen. "She's in there now getting it for us."

"I wonder what it is?" Rarity chimed in.

"Knowing Pinkie it's properly some crazy contraption." Rainbow said swirling her eyes.

With a sudden flurry of movement that startled all in the room, a pink blur blasted forth from the kitchen amidst a tide of streamers and confetti. "Girls!" It bellowed.

"Whah!" Rarity shrieked in terror. "Pinkie! I thought we talked about surprising ponies!"

"Oh Rarity I remember but this is so exciting!" Pinkie shouted bouncing on the spot.

"What is it Pinks?" Rainbow asked smirking.

"Remember my party tonight?" Pinkie asked stopping dead in mid-air.

"Of course we do Pinkie! It's your birthday." Twilight said ignoring the blatant defiling of the laws of gravity.

"Well I just had the bestest news ever." Pinkie said returning to the lands of objects that fall. "Guess who's coming to my party tonight!"

"Who?" The group asked in unison.

"Post Haste!" Pinkie shouted a red hue formed around her muzzle.

"...who the hay is Post Haste?" Applejack asked.

"What?!" Pinkie gasped rushing forward to press her muzzle to the farmers. "You don't know?"

"Uh...no?"

"Darling Applejack is out on the edge of town, Post Haste doesn't normally do that area." Rarity interjected pushing the baker back a few steps. "I think it's Mr.Zippy that older pony with the glasses?"

"Uh yeah. All our mail comes from him." Applejack nodded before turning back to the retreating Pinkie. "So Post Haste is your mailpony?"

"Yepper!" Pinkie said blush still present. "He's the greatest mailpony ever."

Giggling the mare began a long rant over the awesomeness of the stallions mane and physical appearance. While she rambled away the others closed in a bit to talk. "Uh ah think somepony has a crush." Applejack stated.

"On Post Haste? Really?" Rainbow pawed at the ground in disbelief.

"He always seemed so...nice." Fluttershy said blushing a little.

"Oh this is just so adorable!" Rarity gushed. "That young stallion and our Pinkie!"

"I gotta admit its quite a odd match." Twilight wondered aloud. "I mean Post Haste always seems so down to earth whenever I talk to him. I thought Pinkie would go for somepony more...odd?"

"Well love is love Twi. It often don't make sense." Applejack smiled a little at the mental image of Pinkie and the stallion.

"Whoa! Love AJ? Really? Pinkie might like him but what if he doesn't like Pinkie?" Silence rained for a moment as the mare pondered this. Until they realized that they could no longer hear Pinkie. Turning around they found the mare sat with a stunned look, ears pinned back with her eyes large and watery.

"Oh oops. Hehe?" Rainbow said awkwardly rubbing her hoof to her head.

"P-Po-Postie doesn't l-like me?" Pinkie stammered.

"No! No, that's not what Rainbow said or meant!" Twilight rushed forward trying to salvage the conversation.

"Bu-But-"

"What Rainbow meant..." Rarity started before pinning the shrinking prismatic pegasus in question. "Is that...well you like Post Haste right?"

"Oh yes!" Pinkie shouted her happy mood back instantly along with her bounce.

"Yes, but do you like him like him?"

"Oh yes, oh yes!" Pinkie parroted.

"No..." Rarity placed a hoof to her head. "Ugh, what I mean is Pinkie, do you LIKE him like him? Understand?"

"OH!" Pinkie stopped bouncing again and sat still for a moment. "...no?"

"Give it up Rarity! She'll figure it out later." Applejack chuckled warmly.

*Huff*

"Fine."

"Ah'm sure Post Haste likes ya just fine Pinkie." The farmer said sidling up to the baker. "Ah mean he did want'a come to ya party after all."

Applejack patted the giggling baker on the wither before moving over to Rainbow. The farmer pulled one of the chairs out and plopped down, with Rarity and the others joining her. After settling down Rainbow piped up again. "So is that what you called us over for? To tell us about your coltfr-"

*Smack*

"Ow! AJ?"

"You hush up."

Pinkie sat feeling even more confused, first her friends said Postie didn't like her, then they said he did and now they were avoiding something. She was about to launch into a crusade to find out what was going on when she remembered what happened last time she tried to find something out about her friends. Shrugging it off she cast her mind back to the real reason for her friends visit, the brown paper parcel in the back.

"Oh no." She called. "I sent for you guys to show you a birthday present a friend from Jamaneca sent me!"

*Sniff*

"You know ponies in Jamaneca?" Fluttershy asked between sniffles.

"Yep! There is this old pony who makes the greatest, sweetest sugar cubes ever!" Pinkie raced away in a flash before zipping back holding a brown paper parcel between her teeth. "'Ere thish ist it."

Placing the parcel on the table the baker began to unwrap it. The others began to peer over the strips of brown paper. They were intrigued at the package, the idea of a box of sugar cubes as a present seemed a bit odd even for Pinkie. Once the packaging was stripped away the group gasped as they found the series of small purple cubes that seemed to shimmer in the light.

"Oou." The five mares cooed as Pinkie began to frown.

"Huh?" Pinkie uttered. "They're not supposed to be purple."

"They're not?" Twilight asked prodded one with a hoof.

"Uh no! Sugar cubes are brown Twily." Pinkie responded crossing her hooves.

"Mhm, I wonder what these are then?"

"I guess your coltfri-" Rainbow started, then quickly back-peddled as she saw a orange hoof raise. "...uh I mean your mailpony must of given you the wrong package."

*!*

"Of course he didn't!" Pinkie shouted. "Take that back right now!"

"Whoa, relax Pinkie!" Rainbow said shuffling away from the irate mare. "Maybe somepony gave him the wrong package is what I meant."

"Oh, ok." Pinkie's anger deflated, her expression returning to a confused frown.

"Mhm, maybe I should try a toxic spell. See if they are safe to eat." Closing her eyes, Twilight began to gather magic into her horn. A soft lavender glow enveloped one of the purple cubes. Just as she went to finish the spell her grasp on the cube faded.

"Whuh?" Blinking she found her gaze travel to a pink snout where the purple cube had been. "Pinkie!"

"Whuat?" She said her mouth full.

"I didn't check to see if it was safe!"

"Oh Twily, Mi'm sur it's saf." She mumbled around the sugary treat. "Mmm. Id't's good."

"Well she hasn't choked or died so I'm game!" Rainbow said bravely shoving a cube into her maw. "Mmm, they are good."

Twilight let out a huff before lowering the energy in her horn. Applejack chuckled again and placed a hoof on the table, leaning down she pushed a cube toward Twilight. "Here ya go Twi. I'm sure it's just someponies idea of a prank." With that the farm mare leaned in again an plucked a cube for herself.

Rarity however sat primly and snorted in an unladylike manner. "Well, you ponies may just eat sugar cubes raw but me and Fluttershy will have some in some tea. Isn't that right Fluttershy?"

*Sniffle*

"Oh yes. A cup of tea would be lovely."

"I think I'll join you with that." Twilight said picking herself up and trotting toward the kitchen. As she wondered into the kitchen and retrieved a kettle and tea set her thoughts again returned to the package.

"I wonder why they glowed?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her curiosity was never indulged in the end. Twilight returned with the tea set and began the process of making a round of brews for her friends. She had been dubious about adding the sugar to the tea but after seeing the others drink it with no problems, she relented and tried one. An odd effect was that it made the steam that rose from the cup glow iridescent. Biting her lip she took a large burning swig of the drink to find it tasted of normal tea with a hint of peaches.

Feeling a bit silly she had poured out another brew and drank it properly. In the end the only pony not to drink any tea was Rainbow Dash, tea was not for daredevil speedsters, so the weather mare settled for sucking on a few of the sugary cubes. After a while the clock on the wall chimed, informing the group that lunch time was fast approaching.

"Whelp, ah best be off girls. Gotta get back to the farm and help Big Mac." Applejack said standing up and trotting toward the door. As she reached the exit she turned back. "Ah'll be back around six Pinkie! See ya!"

"Bye AJ!" The baker chirped.

Movement from the white unicorn drew attention next. "I too must be, as they say, making tracks."

Shifting around Rarity held a hoof out to the demure pegasus "Shall I walk you home?"

*Sniff*

"Oh, thank you." Fluttershy said sheepishly taking the outstretched hoof.

As the pair left they said their final goodbye's and promised to be back later. "Bye Rarity, feel better soon Flutters!" Pinkie called out again as they exited the shop.

*Yawn*

Twilight looked to her right to see the prismatic pegasus yawning deeply, her eyes drooping a little. Smacking her lips Rainbow turned around to Twilight and Pinkie. "Well it's about nap time, cya guys."

"Don't sleep to long Dashie!"

"I won't." The weather mare chuckled as she trotted out into the street. With a large sweep of her wings the blue mare blasted off into the sky, her search for a comfortable cloud beginning.

Taking one last sip of the cooled peach tea, Twilight let out a sigh and rose herself. "I'll be off as well Pinkie. Spike is probably wondering where I am. If he is awake I suppose."

"Ok Twilight, Bye!" Pinkie waved goodbye before bouncing back into the kitchen. The package of sugar still lay nestled on the table. Twilight cast a long glance at the glowing treats but again decided against any course of action.

"If it was dangerous it would of happened by now." She thought idly to herself.

Moving back out into the street she pulled her scarf up tight to her neck and began the short walk home. The air seemed less bitter than before, which was odd. The weather teams had specifically said that the cold would get worse till around dinner time when it would get warmer again. Shrugging it off she mused that she must be warm from sitting in the bakery, until she passed a few turns on her walk.

Her head was beginning to burn, all around she felt this oppressive heat that pushed on her body. It was as if somepony had turned a heater on next to her. It built up until she was pouring with sweat.

"Whew!" She huffed ripping the scarf off. "It's hot."

She placed the scarf in her saddlebag which seemed a lot lighter than it had been this morning. Twilight usually carried a lot of notepads, quills and other research materials, just in case. This meant that the pack was always a little heavy, which while undoubtedly good for her fitness level, irritated her immensely.

"Odd. I must be getting stronger." An errant thought of pride swished past.

Once secure she turned back onto the track and let her hooves carry her forward. She absently rubbed at her eyes trying to clear the sweat that streamed her face. It was then that she noticed her hooves were beginning to shake a little, along with a strange taste that crawled across her tongue.

"Peaches?" It was getting to much, the heat, the shakes and the strange taste.

She had to sit down.

Under a normal situation the walk back to the library from Sugar Cube Corner would take her through a local park. She had always enjoyed the area in the summer when looking for a place to read outside in the sun. The whole place had a massive collection of flowers, not for eating, and a plain for grazing.

She looked up to find herself around this area and so made for the park. Upon arriving she found it empty, the cold was to much for little foals to play and nopony wanted to graze in the cold. Stumbling a little she moved toward a nearby bench and plopped down.

"Ugh, what's wrong with me?" She said rubbing a hoof to her chest. The organ was thundering in her chest leaving her gasping a little. It was odd, everything was odd,

"I feel...whew... I feel..." Her breath quickened and she felt the heat wash around her. A rush of pleasure surged forth and raced in her mind as she fell back onto the bench and leaned into the sensation.

"...wonderful." Her voice echoed dreamily.

She must of sat there for a long while as she could see the passage of time across the ground. A large scorch mark now rested where the sun had tread. She didn't mind she felt quite peaceful sitting here admiring the plants and their colours of various sizes and shapes and how they began to twist into their respective forms.

*...*

"Huh?" She murmured, her brain feeling light and swishy.

Despite her odd feeling and sluggish reflexes she did begin to notice things out of place. Her gaze felt strange, the colours were too bright, a swirl permeated everything leaving the whole world to look like an oil painting, still dripping after the artist was done. The thunderous feeling returned as she began to hear her heart race again. Placing a hoof to her throat she tried to calm herself down.

"C-Ca-Calm down. It's just a really bright day that's all!" She tried to reason. "All I have to do is just clam down."

*?*

"Calm! Not clam, no clams here." Her mind was suddenly cold and squishy. "Why'd I say clams?"

*Ba'bum, Ba'bum*

The thunder was annoying her now, it was constantly hammering away at the ribs. The uncomfortableness of the whole situation made her twitch and irate. So she lowered her eyes to the purple coat her chest occupied and pronounced loudly. "Will you shut up!"

*Ba'bum, Ba'bum*

*Puish*

"Well buck you!" The chest replied.

*!*

"Wha?!" The unicorn shot back slamming painfully into the bench. She didn't notice though as the expanse of purple coat suddenly sprouted a door that was flung open angrily. Out popped a bright pink heart. With a flash a mouth appeared that twisted into an anger snarl.

"You know how much effort it takes to pump that shit around your body meatsack!"

"HUH?!"

"Is being allowed to run every once in a while that bad?" The pink thing bounced up and swatted her on the nose.

"Ow!"

"Well screw you! You never do anything anyway, always sitting around reading when we could be out making me sweat." The pink heart rolled away slightly and then spun around. "Sod it! You can stay here in the cold, you ungrateful prat, but I'm off."

With that it rolled away leaving a very dumbstruck mare gaping at the whole ordeal.

"What a jerk!" Her mind raged internally. "After all the healthy food and nutrients I gave him!"

She was about to let the little twit roll away until a sicking thought arose.

"Wait!" Her mind had caught up to where she was. "I need you! Don't leave!"

The organ merely carried on it's merry way until it had left her field of view completely. As she went to stand and give chase and green appendage landed on her wither. Jumping a little she twisted her head round to find a giant sunflower smiling at her.

"Let him go sweetie. He'll be back soon, he's is your heart after all."

"Bu-But without him I'll die." She whispered suddenly frighten at how loud her voice was.

"Don't think like that." The sunflower began to stroke her mane in a kindly manner. "It'll be Ok. Lets just sit here and enjoy the day, Mhm?"

"...o-ok." That sounded like a good idea all of a sudden. Relaxing back into the seat she blinked up into the sky, her eyes locking onto the majestic orb that was Celestia's pride. Even in this odd state her mind knew not to stare directly at the sun so it subconsciously cast an anti-sun glare spell. The orb was bathed in a dark shimmer which twisted the colours. The normal white golden brilliance was now smattered with purples, pinks and blues. The whole thing looked so beautiful, like the Princess herself.

"Mhm, thank you Celestia for this wonderful day." She muttered happily.

"Hmph!"

*?*

Turning back from the glowing beauty she let her eyes drop to the sunflower who now sat with its head turned away in a pouting motion.

"You ponies always have to bring her up don't you." It stated, indignant.

"Wha?"

"Celestia this and Celestia that. I mean how can you love that Tyrant?"

Her mind stopped, the windmill that powered the whole system burst into flames.

"Tyrant!?" She bellowed. "She isn't a tyrant! She is the kindest, most loving pony I know!"

"You don't know lots of ponies." The flower deadpanned.

"Wha! Yes I do." She had turned around fully to keep the offensive flower in her sights.

"No you don't." It said flicking her on the snout.

"Ow!"

"I know lots of ponies." It continued. "I sit here all day listening to ponies. You know how many sit here on that bench and tell me about themselves? Because I've lost count."

"That's not know-"

"Do you know what they all say?" It placed a petal to her lips as it's tone shifted to a mocking whine. "Oh! Princess Celestia is such a good pony, nopony is better than her."

It pulled the petal back and leaned in so the its face now sat only a few inches away. "It's annoying to see all her little slaves running around singing her praise all the time!"

Now a few ponies had learned the hard way with Twilight Sparkle that insulting the Princess was a recipe for disaster. One time back in Canterlot a pony had approached her in the library who had been researching politics for his university paper. The pony had seemed nice enough and Twilight felt a slight draw to him, always finding herself nearby. Of course back then she didn't know what it was, but now she was a bit older she knew she had been crushing badly.

After working up the courage she approached the pony. After an awkward start she had begun a simple friendship with the cute colt. He however turned out to be somepony that didn't like the Princess and how she ruled, a self proclaimed rebel and revolutionary. It had been a hoax of course the young colt was after tail and knew that lots of bookish girls loved the idea of a rebel with a cause. While this probably would of worked on many other girls the colt made the horrible choice to say all this to Twilight Sparkle, the sun's favoured foal.

Suffice to say the phrase, "Uptight Queen surrounded by ignorant sycophants," was not something he ever uttered again in an attempt to look bad-ass in front of a mare.

The sunflower in question of course probably would of regretted this action too if it had been given a chance. From it's perspective it merely had enough time to blink in horror as a purple unicorn transformed white in a fit of rage and smother it in a ball of angry fire summoned from the depths of the ether. Once the fit was over Twilight Sparkle found herself stood over a charred score of plant life and ground.

"Oh no..." She mumbled, panic replacing the anger. "OH NO! Not again!"

Rushing forward she grabbed the remains and began to shift them around in a vain effort to search for life. "Oh nonononno..."

*?*

"Twilight Sparkle."

*!*

A voice had spoken, it made her freeze mid step. It was alluring, a throaty melody that radiated a defiant male confidence wrapped in warmth, kindness and a silky tone that brought a whimper to her lips. Turning around slowly she found her gaze showered with blinding light that forced her eyes onto a creature that stood before her.

A cream coloured stallion with a rugged sandy brown mane, coiled muscles and thousand yard stare stood looking kindly at her. His eyes were a deep seated green, the colour of an ancient forest. He was dressed in a white trench coat and grey fedora, a large white horn poking out from underneath. A large golden halo rested gently inches from the top of his head while a pair of ethereal wings floated gently off his back, energy flowing off them leaving a swirl of gold to blur the edges of her vision.

Her body changed in a flash, the panic rapidly falling away. With just two words she had forgotten everything about the plant, the heart or the strange pancake that she had seen flying and been ignoring. Her face exploded in a rush of blood and heat, heat that quickly transferred down her spine to her nether regions. She couldn't breath as the thin handsome stallion moved forward bringing his face close.

"Lady Sparkle, my name is Smoke Drift. You have been poisoned with a toxic substance. Do you understand?"

She could only nod in response. Her mind was too occupied with thoughts of running her hooves through his mane.

"I am going to cast an anti-toxin spell on you." A large amount of energy swelled up in his horn. He moved it closer toward her searing face, she felt herself drooling while her eyes focused on the massive appendage. "Stay still."

With a flash the spell was unleashed upon her form, a cascade of magical energy spilling all over her. As pain and pleasure warped her mental state, she stood shuddering under the massive pressure building in her belly.

*Huff*

*Huff*

"Ah!"

As the spell completed her horn touched his, arcs of purple and yellow magic splashed all around her vision. In one final push the pressure was released. She stood on the tips of her hooves as she arched her back, a scream erupted from her muzzle.

"AHH!"

*Huff*

*Huff*

*Huff*

"Wow..." Was all she managed before collapsing onto the ground.

She felt cooler, clearer and exhausted.

But very satisfied.

Author's Note

Yoski,

Well here I am again. This story was one I really wanted to do, something wacky but with a message. I've got two older brothers that were well into the drug scene at the old clubs in the UK during the early nighties. Some of the things they told me really stood out to me. They've had some right screwed up adventures, some good and some really bad. After hearing their experiences I felt the need to write about it.

So here we are, the wacky adventures of six ponies on something they shouldn't be on!

This is going to be a little bit of adaptation on my part, I love my little ponies and not going to put them into to much danger in this story, but it is a "drugs are bad m'kay" dealy.

If you've read any previous chapters then this is essentially the first one again but much more in it. After reading back the original draft (for that's what it was) I went back and started again.

Please Rate and Fav if you like.