Look, You're Too Small For Me to Take Seriously

by Fleety

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Thriller, Changelings, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6
Length: 1817

Chrysalis and Her Smol Invasion Force

Chrysalis and the bulk of her army is invading Canterlot on its Royal Wedding day.

Only issue is that her army may be way too small.

Like not small in numbers... Just... Small.

(My first crackfic, don’t kill me)

Now with audio thanks to StraightToTheStudio - https://youtu.be/gOgfv6h7kT8

Featured back in 14/2/2022
What a great surprise!

Published 2022-02-13 17:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-13 17:20:00 UTC

"Chrysalis and Her Smol Army"

It was a great day in all of Equestria, a proud day to be remembered, one that will be written down in history and remembered by future generations.

In Canterlot, the grand city of Equestria and ruled by the sisters of the Sun and Moon, a wedding was taking place.

Ponies from all over the city had come to Canterlot Castle to attend the wedding ceremony of Princess Cadence and Captain Shining Armor. Lavish decorations had been made to the ceiling, tapestries, walls and every part of the room and the lovely couple had been previously given gifts and bouquets of flowers for their special occasion.

It is a special occasion not just for the royal couple but for a group of changelings as well that had gathered in the room. Countless changelings have managed to sneak their way into the room, and practically an entire army had gathered.

Wait no, almost the entire changeling hive had gathered in the room.

Hiding behind a potted plant. A great force of changelings had gathered and were all standing in formation at a far end corner of the room, eyeing warily forward and hoping they were not seen by the crowd in attendance.

They could have been easily seen if it weren’t for the fact that their all so… small… like ants.

“My subjects! Today we shall wipe the Equestrian vermin from the face of Equus! For generations our people have gone hungry, forced to travel across the lands scavenging for foods and love! To be forced to battle other insects and vile creatures of unfathomable imagination!” Chrysalis spoked out loud into the air, to her subjects that stood before her. “But no more! No longer shall we be forced to scavenged for meagre resources to survive! Today we shall fight and acquire an infinite supply of food!” She raised a hoof into the air in a gesture, as though she were displaying the scene before them.

The royal couples entered the room. A seemingly perfect timing.

At that, the crowds of changelings cheered and began chanting, “Long live the queen!”

As the two royal couples entered the room, the ponies gave cheers to them. A small group of flower fillies were walking ahead of the couple, gently throwing petals and scattering it neatly onto the ground.

Up ahead at the wedding altar stood the Princess Celestia and the mane six, dressed in their own dresses and attires for the ceremony. All of them anticipating for the joyous moment that is going to happen.

“I would like to thank everypony for coming here today to witness this joyous occasion. We are all gathered here today to commemorate the union of Cadence and Shining Armour.” Taking out an old book, Celestia began reciting its words for the couple’s marriage to be formalized.

As Chrysalis watched all of this unfold before her eyes, she turned around to address her army and with a nod to her officers the whole column began marching forward.

“Equestrian vermin beware! We are coming for you. No longer shall you be the lord of the land. Today, we shall live under a reign of justice and equality! Soon enough, you will be our prey.” Chrysalis gave out an evil cackle of laughter. Some changelings marching past her would just shrug as if this was just another normal day. Then again, what is normal anyway under Chrysalis’ rule? They’ve been doing a bunch of absurd things lately.

For days or weeks, they’d been travelling across the city of Canterlot like a bunch of migrating ants or nomads. On some occasions they would come across ants or other sort of insects roaming the streets of Canterlot. Sometimes these insects would leave them alone, some other times they would be hostile and perceive them as some prey to try and get a bite from. However, this did not deter the changelings from travelling this far.

After a while they marched pass a lavender mare unicorn with a long blue mane and a pink stripe to complement it. Her cutie mark showed a pink six-pointed star surrounded by five white stars. This mare was clearly Twilight, and she was looking at them with confusion.

“Uh… What is that?” Twilight muttered; she was confused by the strange little things that she was seeing before her. ‘Are those ponies?’ She thought to herself. Well, she should be paying attention to the ceremony before her. It was a joyous day for her brother, after all. Instead, she decided to keep track of the movement of these small critter-looking creatures.

Several more moments passed and after concluding her final statements, Celestia moved on to the exchanging of vows, she turned to Shining Armour and Cadence. “Shining Armour, will you take Cadence as your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as both shall live?”

“I do.”

“Cadence, will you take Shining Armour as your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect her, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as both shall live?”

“I do.”

“Then I proclaim you two husband and wife. You may kiss.”

However, before the two could place their lips onto one another the moment was interrupted by the sounds of paper being slapped on the floor. Confused, the couple turned to look to their left and saw Twilight with the look of frustration on her face. In her magical grip was a folded piece of paper and she seemed to be trying to smack something on the ground.

“Urgh! Stop running away!” Twilight yelled in annoyance as she tried to get a good angle with her piece of paper that she is now using as a makeshift beating stick.

“Um, Twilight darling? What are you doing?” Rarity asked, baffled to see Twilight now chasing a bunch of tiny looking insects on the ground. Wait, were those ponies?

“I just got some paper and thought it’d be fun to swat insects with it… I get these weird urges now and then to randomly smack things with this thing…” Twilight said, totally not caring about the fact that a bunch of these critters were running around and giving off loud screeches as a scream.

Meanwhile, on the ground, the changelings were yelling in terror.

“Everyling to safety! Run!” screamed one of the Changeling lieutenants.

“Dam you cowards!” Chrysalis yelled as she lifted the lieutenant into the air and swung him across the battlefield and landing directly against the paper roll that’s about to land another blow onto the ground.

“Gah! Screw this I’m leaving!” another changeling yelled as he opened his wings and flew into the air.

“Quick, flee while we still can!” yet another changeling hollered as he too took to the air.

Soon, it wasn’t just changelings running around on the ground for their lives but a ton of them flying around in the air to dodge the piece of paper.

“Ahh!” Twilight yelped, as she swung her paper roll madly in the air in a vain effort to hit swarming bugs.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Mane Six have decided to join in to help Twilight fend off the annoying little critters. Except for Rarity, because she was screaming for help. “Help! Somepony do something, they’re all over me!”

Meanwhile on the ground, some of the Changelings still loyal and undeterred were directing the remaining forces. “Aim for the royal couple ya nymphs! We gotta get their love!”

Changelings were now everywhere and the room was in chaos, with a bunch of them trying to get the love out of the ponies by just biting them mosquito-style.

A couple lings even managed to land on the flank of Cadence while Shining was fending off his own. “Shining! Help me!” She cried out.

“No worries sugarcube, I got this!” Applejack said as she took off her cowboy hat and attempted to swat and shoos the changelings away. She aimed for the bugs that were on Cadence and swung her hoof.

The bugs dodged the hat and Applejack’s hoof hit Cadence’s flank with a loud smack.

“Ah!”

“Oh, shucks it’s no use.”

“Worry not my little ponies we got this!” Luna cried out at the top of her lungs in her royal Canterlot voice. In her hooves she carries an enormous bugspray.

She sprays a couple times at a couple of bugs only to have a shock realization that it had no effect. “Wha? Its not working!” Luna cried in bewilderment.

Then a large bug crashed landed into the moon princess’s face, it was larger than the rest of the bugs and it seemed furious.

“You shall not harm my subjects no more, foolish princess!” Chrysalis yelled in front of her.

To Luna it sounded nothing but furious chirps and buzzing. And Luna screamed in terror. “It’s on me! It’s on me!”

“Now hang on Luna, are you sure you grabbed the right bugspray? This one says Bug-Lovespray” Celestia said before she walked up to Luna and sprayed a couple of times at the ginormous bug.

The spray had an instant effect as the insect fell off Luna’s face.

“Phew, thanks sister.” Luna glanced at the bugspray she had. “Ah it seems I had the normal one…”

“Ah ha, now it is Celestia that saves the day!” Celestia hoofs over an extra spray to Luna, the right one this time.

“Oh, shush you.” Luna grabs the spray. “NOW COME AT THEE, BUGS” And off she goes charging into the frey.

The next few moments were kind of anticlimactic as the two royal princesses’ charges around the room manically as they sprayed in all directions to get rid of the creatures. Flipping chairs and tables over just to chase after the critters that try to flee.

By now the Changeling army was in disarray with most of its men high on doses of love and magic, too high to even move. So whatever Changelings still unaffected quickly grab whoever they can save including the queen who was now unconscious.

Once the chaos was over the princesses looked around, hoping to find anymore of these changeling bugs to spray. There were none. All there was is a room that was now a mess with decors and chairs scattered all over the place. Most of the attendants had already fled with a few staying behind to assist with pest-control.

“Well, at least it’s a good thing that the wedding is over.” Celestia smirked.

Author's Note

Oh wow, I never expected this story to get this many views, likes and then a feature all in a single day. :rainbowderp:

Thank you folks for reading and enjoying my work! :pinkiehappy:

Also spent some time editing out some mistakes that I never noticed thanks to you folks! :twilightsheepish: