Stars. The one familiar sight on this alien world. It’s hard to believe I’m not looking at the same night sky. Lights spot the looming dark expanse, like tiny windows to memories of home, of Earth. To my ordinary life before it all changed.

One moment I was a high school intern, helping the science teacher set up experiments for minimum wage, next thing I know I’m putting on a tuxedo being pushed through a portal on a meter stick; Of course, the Dr. likes bowties. From an ordinary youth, to the single ambassador of humanity in the space of a week. The Dr. mentioned something about the collective unconscious, stuff about the universe perceiving itself and some Swiss ‘Karl Young’ guy, but all that crazy-scientist nonsense is beyond me. All I know is I’m trapped in an alien world from a girl’s cartoon, and I can’t go back yet because the portal apparently doesn't replicate organic matter; Yet here I am in the flesh, even if the Dr tries to explain otherwise. I better get overtime for this.

My nostalgic escape was interrupted by the sight of steeples stabbing at my vision. Majestic and shining, the spiralling ivory towers were crowned with gold and from their tips spun cherry red flags. Like great pearls, the many rooftops dotting the building were bulbous and decorated with vivid and intricate patterns. Frills of balconies reach out with bouquets of elaborate flora. Waves of arches snake the breadth of the building upon pillars that obscure the interior into strips. Gigantic battlements stood imperial, guarding the otherworldly architecture.

The structural bedazzlement stopped me in my tracks. This was Canterlot Castle, home of Equestria’s rulers, Princesses Celestia and Luna. And there I stood not even at its feet, eclipsed by the overwhelming majesty of just the front door. From the towering opening, a red carpet trickles down marble stairs, its hues ignited by an encompassing ray of light leaking out onto the street, illuminating the cobblestones like jewels.

I am shaken from my trance by the rumble of a passing cart. A liquorice black limousine tugged by a pair of stallions, cruises up the road. It curls and comes to a stop at the foot of the stairs. Well-dressed servants open the doors with a bow. Hooves click against the pavement before the doors close with a thump. Rising up the stairs are three ponies in elaborate dress, jewellery-laden tails jingling as they step, lined by bodyguards in black suits.

One has a black and yellow tail, with overlapping layers. A pillowy pink bow cups the back of their head.

The next has a dark, curling tail lined with a single glittering teal band down its length. A flowing veil covers her rump.

The final tail is long, sweeping and a striking bright blue, gracefully brushing the air. Atop their mane is a small white hat.

A uniformed pony waves them in without even checking their tickets. Woah. Whoever they are, they must be important.

Maybe I am out of my depth here. Rubbing the smooth golden ticket between my fingers I ponder turning back.

I can’t turn back; I have a job to do: I am the sole ambassador of humanity. Okay, too much pressure. I am Anon, a lucky human making the best of life in another world. I can’t waste this opportunity: The Grand Galloping Gala, the most prestigious event in Equestria and I was invited. I stow my nerves and march onwards.

Scaling the stairs, I am met by an elderly, dark blue unicorn eyeing me suspiciously, eyelids quivering in suspense under thick eyebrows. His bushy, grey moustache crunches into a frown. Hovering over his shoulder in a bundle of magic is a ticket punch, clinking intimidatingly like the jaws of a crocodile.

“Ticket?” he croaks

I nervously show him my ticket. His eyes soften, and he smiles. Giggling, he floats the ticket between the metal claws, quickly snaps them together and then lands the ticket onto my palm like a feather. He grins.

“Nervous? “

“Y-yeah.”

“Don’t be nervous, human. The worst part is already behind you. Enjoy yourself, you’re only young once.”

“Human? You know-”

“Yes, I know what you are. My grandpappy told me stories all about your kind.”

He chuckles beneath his moustache. “Never in all my days did I believe him. By golly, he’d be doing loop-de-loops in his grave if he saw me now.” He wipes his brow, “What’s your name, uh boy?”

“...Anon, sir.”

He tips his cap. “Golden Ticket at ye service, born for this job apparently. Get along now Anon, I’m sure the princesses will be pleased to see you.”

As I step through the door, I can hear him remark, “Hoo boy, if I was still his age...”

~

The first thing I noticed was her mane. The ethereal hues of the aurora borealis, blown by the ebb of an insensible wind. Second was the gold. Atop their head, three shining gold peaks rose from a tiara with a shimmering purple stone at its heart. Golden curls trace the spiral of her horn. Upon her breast rests a golden crest. From the nape of her collar, a pair of silken strips criss-cross her back between her angelic wings, cruising over the buoyant horizon of her butt. Across each side of her ivory barrel, swing golden chains, beads dripping like honey over each succulent cheek, the sun insignia blazing underneath.

Fanning each side of her wide haunches are rippling skirts, connected by an arching gold lace softly marking her hips. From this string, a long cloth is draped over her nethers, echoing the tantalising shapes underneath. Her powerful legs are snaked by swirling golden horseshoes, rising up her musculature. Brushing over her rump, between the legs, those two flowing strips contain her bulging teats, crossing under her belly and finally meeting underneath the shield at her chest.

She was pristine, as if carved from marble.

At the base of twin spiralling stairs, stood Celestia. She turns her head and notices me. Compelled, I step forward. A pair of gentle pink eyes meet mine. Golden lipstick outlines a smile.

“So, you must be Anon?“

Her overwhelming presence causes my response to become trapped in my throat. She is more than royalty. She’s a living god. Her angelic wings flap lightly against her sides.

“Speechless? Very cute. But do not be afraid, I won’t judge you poorly. You already have me intrigued...“ The next word tantalizingly rolling off her tongue “...Human.”

“Y-yep, that’s me-”

My voice cracks. I halt it with a cough. Beating my chest, I steady myself. After expelling my hesitation within a deep breath, I swell my chest, curl my arm into a fist upon my heart and speak as practiced, “I am Anon, human ambassador, honoured to meet your highness.” I bow.

“And I am honoured to finally meet you, Anon. News travels fast about such legendary creatures as humans. I’m glad you managed to receive a ticket in time. I would have been saddened had you been unable to attend. Your presence has made tonight much more exciting.”

I gulp. She smiles tenderly, but behind her pleasant exterior I sense sadistic pleasure from my discomfort, her eyes ablaze underneath her restraint. Upturned lips silently revelling as she looks down on me; She breaks my bonds as they open.

“Twilight, why don’t you introduce yourself; I know how thrilled you were to meet him.”

From behind her thick leg peeks a purple pony, her cheeks blushing ripely. From underneath a straight, striping fringe splitting around a pastel horn, big eyes twinkle enrapturing me in their purple snare.

She is wearing a blue, star spangled dress. A wide brimmed collar blooms around her slender neck, sloping behind a pearly, star shaped brooch at the front. Hugging her curving back is a similarly glassy, stylised saddle; round edges curling her sides, tailed by a band of stars crowning her hips. Behind the constellation the dress swells, cerulean seas transitioning into night as it crashes over the silhouette of her tail, the rim spattered with shining stars exploding at her heels, lapping the floor like seafoam. The shadowy veil obscures and teases sight of the flesh underneath; Of tender legs cupped by icy shoes shattering into stars sprinkling upwards, and of curves subtly whispered behind the ghostly stripes of her tail. Her youthful, naked body guarded by the vista of sky and sea.

She blinks, glittered eyelids twinkling alike the stars adorning her. But despite her grace, her nerves stunt her enthusiasm. With unbreaking eye contact she steps forward, carefully grasping my hand between her hooves before deliberately shaking it.

“This is how you greet on Earth, right?”

I smile “That’s right.”

She doesn't let go. As her hesitation dissolves, her hand-shaking gradually devolves into wild swinging.

In a single breath she exclaims, ” So cooooooool! A real human! I’m Twilight Sparkle, I was named after my mother’s favourite spell. What does your name mean? “

I manage to squeeze out a few illegible, chittering grunts between her shakes.

“Twilight.” Celestia chides.

Bringing me to a stop, Twilight unhoofs me, crossing her legs she smiles in embarrassment.

“Sorry, I was really looking forward to meeting you. I wish we could talk right away, but I have my duties...” Her puppy-dog eyes silently plead at me “...Promise to meet me later?”

Powerless, they ensnare me. How could I say no?

“Sure.”

“Yay! I’ll meet you in the ballroom before the dance,” a suspicious overtone leaks over her words, “I want to know all about you.”

There’s something else in those eyes. A fire, a cheekiness. She has plans for me. Anticipation drops pebbles in my belly.

“Oh, here’s a brochure with a map of the grounds and a timetable of all the night's activities,” she interjects, levitating it into my hands. Before I could scan the cutesy booklet, the snout of a pushy pony nudges me from behind. Startled and quickly displaced, I stumble up the stairs towards the rumble of the crowd inside.

“I’ll be waiting.” Twilight coos, waving with a hoof before turning to greet the rude butt intruder. As I pivot, something catches my eye. Jewellery, but not where I expected it.

Raising her tail, her dress opens like a curtain, revealing forbidden delights shining in the shade. From her dock, a thick silver ring is hung, circling over her butthole. Reaching from the ring like fingers, fine chains dangling silver stars caress over the perky flesh, disappearing behind her hips. Below rests an angular blue gem shielding her pussy and from its bottom, a pair of thin chains arch to her nipples. Her eyes catch mine wandering. Smugly raising her head over her shoulder, she gives me a knowing, smouldering look as she gently gyrates her hips. Something behind the flat gem makes it rock gently, causing the chains to tug at her teats, jingling. Did she just wink?

This was not what I expected from the seemingly innocent ponies of Equestria. Maybe this Equestria is not exactly like the one on TV. But then, where exactly am I? And more importantly, what is acceptable? As hard as it may be to resist, if I get caught doing anything perverted, that could reflect poorly on humanity itself, and who knows, maybe these Equestrians are also more violent than their cartoon counterparts...I can’t get home if I’m dead, so I have to get my priorities straight: I am representing humanity in some twisted first contact with an alien species and I have to get home, and that is more important than engaging in forbidden acts, even if it falls within the Harkness Test and the unanimous agreement of my libido.

At the top of the stairs awaits a long, large room, the starry sky visible through the curving glass ceiling. Pillars line the perimeter of the room, raising swirling golden arcs supporting the transparent pipe. Underneath, great rings are suspended, housing images of the sun and moon in orbit. Illustrious tapestries are hung depicting Equestria and its neighbours, it’s lands and its peoples. Inspiring vistas, of waves of clouds circling serrated mountain peaks, of dragons in flight within swirling storms, of gnarled forests, of deserts that glow, of seas that sing. Of friends found in enemies and of ancient horrors banished away. Of a world of magic, entirely beyond me. And somehow, I was the unique sight. The sound of the crowd fills the room like a hymn. A hymn I'm fearful to interupt.

I flex my tuxedo, straighten my bowtie, and take a deep breath as I step into the unknown.

Author's Note

The introduction. The rest of the chapters will focus on individual ponies, their "Routes" if you will.

Anyway, were my descriptions too elaborate? I tend to get carried away visualising...

Next chapter: Twilight. After that, who knows. I have concepts for Fluttershy, Rarity, and an elaborate Trixie route involving the three ponies from the Limo. If this ever comes to be, I'll post them here.