I Think Something's Wrong With Us

by KingdaKa

Rating: mature
Tags: Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Human, Romance, Dazzlings, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sex
Length: 4452

The Dazzlings have been focused on nothing but revenge ever since their defeat. An unexpected enemy, clothed in new form, might just put a wrench into that plan.

Vengeance. What's life without a little vengeance? The Dazzlings don't know, and don't plan on finding out.

Sure, they got beat down, humiliated, made fools of in front of an entire school. Why should that matter? Dominate a few key people, shed some blood, eat a few people alive and then no one remembers you ever even screwed up. Easy!
But easy only goes so far, especially when your most dangerous enemy shows up yet again. And this time...

She's really, really cute.

lol. Why is this featured? Thanks, you nutcases. 02/14/22 - 02/16/22

Published 2022-02-14 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-14 23:10:01 UTC

I Think Something's Wrong With Us

“For gods’ sake, come here!”

The three of them had wandered through alleyway and darkened corner to reach their destination, guided unwillingly to the land that was a place they so intently avoided. The world had changed for them once; a land of battle and magic beneath their feet, then thrust out and into the spiral, away from all they had ever known and into a land more primitive and cruel. But this second defeat? To call it humiliation would be too gentle.

“Why are we back here? We’re gonna get caught!” whispered one of them, the youngest and most vulnerable of their kind; the unwitting might even call her sweet, if they knew not her true nature.

The answer that came to meet her, however, was from the one most unkind, a cruel fire in her belly that seethed with hate. “You need to see this,” she muttered. “So I’ve been coming back here every now and then, just in case.”

“Just in case of what?” said their elder, the leader of siblings that stood tall among them. Most beautiful, most glorious, she had been magnificent a creature in her day; even now, in this weakened state, she was something wonderful. “If you tip anyone off that we’re still around and not halfway across the country-”

“Like anyone’s ever gonna see me, fuck,” said the fiery one. “Look, poke your head out and see what’s going on out there.”

“Why?”

“Because she is back.”

There could only be one name upon all worlds that could be left unspoken, yet bring about such terror. The other two of their number shuddered, memories of defeat and agony writhing through their minds as both place and person mingled so closely together. Here, so close to the sight of their last and greatest humiliation, it could not be possible to think of another.

“She’s back!” Adagio whispered. “Here- why in gods’ name is she back here, doesn’t that stupid princess have better things to do than just show up?”

Aria, the huddled spy kneeling at the corner, could only offer a grimace. “That was my thought, too. She’s got no reason to be here, but she is. What if she thinks something’s up, and that we’re up to something? You don’t think she’s searching for us, do you?”

Sonata, youngest and most emotionally inclined of the three, did not find the news pleasant to behold. “Oh gosh, what if she does?” she gasped. “She’s looking for things from Equestria, and that means us! She’ll have us locked up and stuff- no more Taco Tuesdays or-”

“Shut up!” Cried her siblings, preventing a rambling mess before Sonata could truly begin her emotional tirade.

“I’m just saying,” Sonata added with a pout.

Adagio paid her no mind, more focused on the heightened danger that now sat so close nearby. “So she’s back here. Do you know what for?”

Aria shook her head. “Haven’t the damndest,” she admitted, “but she’s here for something. Wanna guess who she’s with?”

“Not really, but…”

“Yeah. And…” Aria chanced a quick, peering glance from beyond her safehouse of stone that was the alleyway wall, “she’s there right now. Take a look.”

Adagio knew what risk was run if she leaned out to look; if she was seen, especially by such deadly foes, then her very life was in danger. They’d already been beaten down for so long, so thoroughly defeated… but she needed to know, needed to see for herself. So she peered out with one single eye and dared a peek to the courtyard beyond, with Sonata close behind here and giving a glance far more bold.

So they were all there, the seven of them. Sitting on the steps that led into the school and chatting amongst themselves, if they were to guess. And in the midst of them, that dark-sapphire hair with trims of starlight impossible to miss. It couldn’t be anyone else even if they wished for it to be so, unmistakable in color and form-

But perhaps not quite so. “Wait a minute,” Adagio whispered, scrabbling for cell phone and bringing up the camera. “Something’s different here.”

“What sort of different?” Sonata asked.

“Look at her. That’s not the same princess,” was the answer. “Doesn’t she look different to you?”

Aria began to puff up, indignant that her word was not vouchsafed by default. “Oh come on, look at the bitch! Same hair, same everything-”

“Not same hair,” Adagio countered, peering at her screen and scrutinizing the results. “Yeah, this is different. This is… this is something else.”

“Let me see!” Sonata nabbed the phone from her sibling’s hands and examined the photograph onscreen- and giving a gasp at the results. “Wow, she’s super cute!”

“That’s not what I meant!” Adagio roared, so loud that even the chatter from the lawn beyond took moment to pause. “For gods’ sake, Sonata, something is wrong with you.”

“But she is!” Their younger sibling insisted. “Oh, look at those waves- and those glasses! Wow, she’s so much better this time around!”

“Congrats, I know, don’t care,” Adagio said briskly, pulling the phone back into her possession. “OK, so it’s the same person, but… not the same person?”

“A copy, maybe?” Aria suggested. “An alternate, just for this world?”

“I think so,” Adagio said. “It’d make sense. And maybe why she doesn’t look quite the same.”

“You mean prettier,” Sonata said, a one-track mind and intent on not changing it. “I’m gonna ask her out. Don’t try to stop me!”

“Holy fuck, you superficial freak!” Determined to never change or even be influenced by the world about her, Aria shook her head in disgust at the sight of her sibling’s sudden infatuation. “Looks mean everything to you, why don’t try to fuck your way to power?”

“Works fine by me,” Sonata countered, staring out into the courtyard and giving a dreamy sigh. “Oh wow, she’s so pretty. Do you think she’d sit on my face? That’s how I wanna die.”

“This is ridiculous,” Adagio grumbled, giving her sister a shove and despairing at this sudden loss of control. “Look, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna go up there, we’re gonna get a good look at her. Alright? And since she’ll be something awful, or saying something awful, we’re just gonna leave. And then this whole bunch of stupid shit is gonna end. Agreed?”

“Nope.”

“Fuck my life,” Aria moaned. “Goddamn, fine. Let’s go.”

With stealth, as much care as the open world could offer them, the three sisters snuck across the streets and crept closer to the school that had once housed their greatest disaster; if a solitary soul caught sight of them, one person discovered their presence, it would be over. But for now, they managed to be unknown to the world around them, coming close and now able to understand the muted words that echoed across the academy plains.

“Is it always this crazy here?” said that familiar voice, painful to the ear despite its sweetness. “I’ve not even been here a full semester yet, and somehow you all are always up to something wild!”

“It is, at least lately,” said another, the voice coming from the girl with the red-and-yellow hair- was Sunset Shimmer her name, if they recalled correctly? “Don’t worry. It won’t be like this all the time. And you’ll fit right in.”

“I don’t know. I’m not really made for all this,” came her voice. “Sorry if I’m… you know… not cool about it.”

The three sister dared a chance to peek out from their hiding place; here, so close, they could see all that occurred, and the faces of these young women were so close to behold. There she sat, in the midst of them all and seeming so shy and insecure; shoulders held close, a nervous expression on her face…

“I need her,” Sonata whispered-

“Shut up!”

“You definitely belong here!” Came the voice of another, brash and proud yet spurring confidence all the same. “And hey, just cause you’re not as cool as the great Rainbow Dash doesn’t mean a thing- no one but me is that a thing. You’re fine!”

“You’re sure?” Twilight asked.

“Definitely.”

Clutching books to her chest, the demure young woman could only offer a sheepish, grateful grin. The realm of genuine friends was new to her, a world still not understood and yet to be fully revealed. Yet these girl had taken her in, called her their own, and were glad to be with her. Maybe that was not particularly special to them, but it meant everything to her. So of course she smiled, a flush on her face and unable to truly express her gratitude for such things. And as she glowed, the vision of her was more than three unsuspecting women could hope to withstand, at last fully infatuated.

“Oh, fuck.”

“Oh my god, she’s so cute!” Sonata cried.

“An absolute doll,” Adagio breathed. “Oh fuck, I need her in my life!”

“Like I’d share my trophy wife!” Aria huffed. “You dumb bitches, that sweet thing is mine!”

The haughty declaration was not something that would go over well, and it wasn’t much of a surprise when her fellow siblings took to the idea with malice. Torn from their blissful daydreams by a challenger, Sonata and Adagio met their sister with bared teeth and a furious rage.

“You and what army, you cold bitch?” Adagio demanded. “You couldn’t seduce a desperate incel-”

“What? No, she is mine. She’s gonna sit on my face, and I will kill anyone who tries to make her stop me!” Sonata huffed, as though half-fearing Aria really could make good that promise.

Aria’s hackles were raised in response, the Siren ready to defend what was rightfully hers, even if only in her mind. “I will eat your heart before you get my girltoy, you dumb whores!”

The three women held each other in their gaze, disgust and dislike etched upon them so fiercely that it was a wonder blows did not indeed come upon them. So close together, eager for violence, the three sisters could hardly be anything more than competitors for the one girl that they had chosen to adore. With fire burning in their eyes, it was only a matter of time…

And yet, life so many times before, they found the fire within to be put to something of better use. Sonata found Adagio by instinct, and Aria in turn; before there could be much protest that could see them unwound yet again, the building tension within them demanded release. The three sisters met each other in licks and lavish kisses, erupting into a glistening union that none could escape. With little else to sustain them but one another, the moments had become somewhat common; now that each was viciously aroused, release was almost a necessity.

Upon a bed too large for three –but possibly perfect for four- the young, lovely women once known as the Dazzlings chose to rest from their fire and anger, temporarily distracted by one another and the vicious distraction that came soon after. Never were they the kind to reconcile easily, and this moment no exception. Even though sex offered them much, this one offered no resolution- nor even a plan.

“You’re not as cute as she is,” Adagio surmised, half-hidden beneath the bedsheets and looking at Sonata with disappointment.

“And you don’t taste as good!” Sonata fired back. “Oh, I bet she’s like strawberries and cream… to hell with taco Tuesday, I want Twilight Tuesday!”

Aria, too used to her usual sources of comfort, could only emit a sigh of unhappiness. “I just want her ass. That’s all I’m asking for,” she said. “I want to eat her ass and that’s it. Why is that so hard?”

“Because you have us to deal with?” Adagio suggested. “Good fucking lord, it’s not like you’re the most attractive of us.”

“Fuck that, I’m gorgeous,” Arai retorted. “Why can’t I have her?”

“Because I will?”

“But I’m gonna have her!” Sonata said. “We can’t all have her at once, can we?”

There was thought for a protest, one argument brought against two- then as Sonata’s complaint was given a moment to make roots within their minds, the thought of arguing against it seemed little more than ludicrous. They were millennia-old, semi-aquatic demons that had endured interdimensional exile and had just let off steam with a vicious bout of coitus despite their status as siblings, all for the sake of extinqguishing an argument. Why they were demanding exclusivity over one girl they jointly wanted was something none could really fathom.

“Well, fuck.” Adagio lifted herself from beneath the bedsheets and into a sitting position. “Why the hell couldn’t we share?”

“Because that’s-” Aria’s instinct was to combat her sister and argue further, a knee-jerk reaction. “Wait, you and I just scissored. Nevermind.”

“I know, right? The hell are we complaining for?” Adagio demanded. “Shit, it’s an obvious solution.”

Sonata lay there slack-jawed at the sight of her sisters joining in agreement; one had better odds of seeing a sasquatch. “Wait, are we really gonna do this?” she asked. “Since when do we share?”

“Since we all want the same girl,” Adagio answered. “There’s not an objection, is there?”

With little more to do than shrug her shoulders, Sonata gave no lip. “First time for everything, I guess.” Then imagination suddenly went into overdrive, lustful desires turning her mind wild with joyous daydreams. “Wait- ohmygod, shut up! Can you imagine what sounds she’s gonna make when we’re all fucking her at once? Like, full. Body. Pleasure.”

Indeed her siblings could, more than willing to fantasize about their newly cherished desire in all her perfection. From the waves of her hair to the petite figure that it adorned, this new Twilight was more than something precious to them; no matter what it took, the sultry Sirens were determined to have their precious sweetheart before she could be wished away to places unknown.

“Alright, so- what are we gonna do?” Aria asked. “I mean, look who she has as friends. Friends, dammit I hate that word- how are we supposed to get her to ourselves without stirring shit up?”

“What do you mean, stirring shit up?”

“I mean her friends will definitely cause trouble if we show up,” Aria said as though she were explaining to an unruly child. “They will bitch. They will moan. They will cause fucking problems. So what do we plan on doing?”

Adagio pondered the thought, the brightest mind within their now-unified trio. Less likely to be swayed by impulse, less prone to anger, she was the stabilizing anchor that had kept them afloat. So now when faced by the hunger for one singular person that would be well protected, it was no surprise that her sisters felt it up to her to find a solution.

“I think I have something,” she said slowly, “But you’ll have to trust me.”

“That’s terrible,” Sonata remarked.

“I refuse,” Aria added.

“Well shit. Do you want this girl or not, you prickly assbags?”

Silence reigned within their freshly used bedroom. “Fine. You bitch.”

Adagio sighed, wondering whether her foes or her fuckbuddies would be the bigger fight to finish. “Good. Now listen, this is what we’re gonna do…”

The day was sunny and bright, despite all the warnings that storms were coming. The morning had come cool, beckoning those within the large schoolhouse to come outside and enjoy the afternoon sunshine that was sure to come. The gloriousness that trickled through windows was enticing; the warmth that crept upon one’s face when met with the mighty star’s rays, even more so. No matter what came with the evening, whether it be blistering rain or howling wind, what was to be enjoyed now was more than pleasant.

In the moment, the glorious weather was something to be enjoyed by the entirety of a small group of friends, quiet words spoken and laughter ringing throughout their merry band as they took to their place on the steps. Unable to resist the last call of decent weather that had come, coupled with the ills of senioritis, the fresh-faced and lovely young women knew there were few greater pleasures to be had than the joys of the outside. The cool breeze upon their faces, coupled with the warm rays of sunshine, were all too perfect.

“You’re worrying too much, Twi,” Rainbow muttered, facing upcoming finals with her usual bravado. “Aren’t you already a lock for like- I dunno, Harvard or something? I doubt a couple questions wrong are gonna be an issue.”

“But what if I drop my GPA?” Twilight bemoaned, singularly focused and unable to be swayed. “I wanna do really well. And for everyone who’s been so nice to me! It’ll make them look bad, too!”

“I think they’ll be fine,” Sunset said gently. “And I think you will be fine, too. You’re worrying too much about this. It’s perfectly OK to just relax.”

“How can I relax, though?” Twilight asked. “I wanna do the best I can. What if that’s not good enough?”

“Of course it’s good enough, you silly!” Sunset countered.

“And if it’s still not anyway?”

“Then it’s good enough for me,” Adagio crowed loudly, revealing herself from behind the corner of the schoolhouse and striding into view.

“Holy hell-”

The sight of one deadly foe was surprise enough; to see her flanked by two others, all armed with a fierce grin, was not a comforting sight in the slightest. Those who knew them took to their feet and came to tension, watching the Sirens walk towards them as one watches a great predator of the wilds. Only Twilight, unsuspecting and trusting, looked out to the three beautiful women that came ever closer and did not feel a thrill of fear.

“What are you doing here?” Sunset asked, the calmest and yet most fearful of their group. “I thought you’d-”

“Oh, just here to chat,” Adagio answered, barely pausing to glance at her arching rival. “A few things, nothing too horrible. Wouldn’t you agree, Sonata?”

“Well yeah! Why would we want to cause trouble?” The youngest Siren piped up. Her eyes were unable to be anywhere but Twilight, sifting beneath clothing and salivating at what lay underneath.

“Because it’s in your nature,” Applejack muttered. “Start talking. Quick, now!”

“Well fine, then, rude miss,” Aria grumbled. “You see… we came to talk to Twilight about something.”

It was the move they hadn’t expected, Twilight included. She didn’t know who these mysterious women were, after all; why should she assume her name would be called? Coming to her feet and taking in the new arrivals with some measure of nerves, the sweet young woman could only give a small tremble. “OK,” she said hesitantly, “Here I am. I guess. What do you need from me?”

“Twilight, they’re-”

“Hey! Sugarbritches, not talking to you,” Aria snapped, striking Sunset dumb with the swiftness of her word. “So… Twilight…”

The three girls sized up their target, drawing in close and entrapping her attentions. The spectacled woman kept darting between the three of them, unable to decide upon whom she should focus. They all seemed so dazzling, something to marvel at and behold; yet they were all strangely focused on her, yet she never having met them once in her life. It was a sensation she’d never felt before.

“Yes?” Twilight asked with a tremble.

Sonata grinned. “We just wanted to say-”

“Twi, don’t-”

“Please go out with us!” The three Sirens cried, suddenly bowing low and producing gifts from somewhere in the ether, stunning all protests and questions into silence without another moment’s wait. Unexpected in more ways than one, the shocking maneuver had produced all the intended results; shock from their foes, and mild amazement from the one they adored; if the tempting scent of sweets and dark chocolate could only work their magic from here…

“Go out-” Twilight’s dazed manner tried to right itself, find some sense of grounded reality. “With me-? But I’m-”

“You’re really cute,” Sonata said swiftly. “Can’t you go out with us? We’ll have such a good time.”

“All three of yo- now wait a minute!” Sunset cried, trying to reign in the disaster before it got out of hand. “This is nonsense-”

“We couldn’t just decide who was good enough for you, if you must know,” Adagio continued, cutting through Sunset’s protests with a pointed indifference. “But you’re just so pretty… we couldn’t resist.”

“And we’d love to have you,” Aria added. “We’d do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted. And we’d never, never, ever say no.”

Twilight was swiftly flushing red, left flabbergasted by this unexpected revelation from three faces she could not recognize. “But why- who are you? Why me?”

“We’re your dreamgirls, silly!” Sonata answered. “And because you’re so super cute. We just love you.”

“All of you at once?”

“All three of us,” Adagio purred. “Won’t you let us make you happy? We’d really do just… whatever you want. And we’d love to do it, too.”

The strangeness of the situation was palpably awkward, even more so for those who were kept as little more than participants. Sunset in particular, who had suffered at these foul hands most deftly, was keen on seeing the discomfort at last come to an end. “Twilight,” she said softly in the hopes of going unheard, “These girls- they’re not what you think is happening. You can’t just-”

“I’ll sit on your face,” Sonata added.

“I’ll eat your ass,” Aria piped up.

“I’ll make you scream.” Adagio’s beautiful eyes were slits, eager to see clothing sent flying and put to the wayside in favor of far more pleasurable activities. “Won’t you let us make you happy? You’d feel oh, so good…”

“Twi, you can’t just-”

“OK.”

The answer came so quick that all parties couldn’t quite believe it had actually been uttered. Twilight’s cheeks turned red, Sunset looked as though she’d been slapped across the mouth, and the Sirens who had come tempting could hardly believe their fortune had become so bountiful so easily. And to think their plan had hardly been little more than a whim with some luck added in.

“What..?” Sunset’s daze was slow to dispel, the stupefied young woman reeling from her friend’s sudden turn. “But- but Twilight! Think of who this- they’ll-”

“Oh, thank you, Twilight!” The three women cried, latching onto their newly acquired prize and promptly lavishing their praises onto her in the form of caresses and adoring eyes. “This’ll be so much fun…”

“Won’t you come with us for a little bit?” Adagio asked, pining for her new darling’s acquiescence. “You’re so much nicer to us than they are. We’d love to say thank you.”

“So, so much,” Sonata added.

Twilight was still blushing a deep red, but still was able to give off a nod. “OK,” she said meekly. “I- I guess. Where are we going?”

“We’ll take you to our place,” Adagio said swiftly, a snap of her fingers that brought about a sleek black limousine as though from nowhere. “We’ll have such a good time. And you’ll feel like such a Princess…”

The fact that she’d agreed to anything was shock enough; but to see her actually begin to inch away, move towards the awaiting vehicle that would seal her entrapment was at last enough to rouse one last fight against the seemingly inevitable. “Twilight,” Sunset hissed, “What the hell are you doing?!”

“Sorry. I just- They seem nice,” Twilight said, shamefaced yet unable to resist the temptation all the same. “I just wanna- you know, see how… how it feels.” A small pause as she pushed her glasses back into place and cleared her throat. “They’re really pretty.”

Before any further argument could be made, the three Sirens spirited away their summoned darling and were in the awaiting limo before anyone could say a word. The three girls now turned four and gone from sight, leaving behind only a shell-shocked group of six who could hardly believe what had transpired before their eyes.

Sunset hadn’t expected revenge, nor something as cruel as this. Something that would pluck so deeply against her own heart. “What the hell just happened?” She whispered.

“I know, right?” Rainbow replied.

“They just-” She swallowed down her shock and fear, Sunset trying not to collapse. “They just took-”

“Why didn’t they want me?”

The interior of the limousine was spacious and cozy; more than enough for the trio turned foursome to enjoy newly present company in relative comfort. In the midst of the crooning, romantically adoring group was Twilight Sparkle; fresh-faced, somewhat reeling from the sudden turn of events, yet not at all disinclined to make the adoring actions of her new companions stop; whether it be by shock or delight, not even she could tell.

“Oh, wow,” she murmured, trying to let reality sink into her decision. “I just ran out from school.”

“Mmm, you did,” Adagio whispered; eager to begin, she left a trail of kisses up Twilight’s neck and onto her cheek. “Wasn’t that fun?”

“I’m gonna get in so much trouble.”

“Not with us,” Sonata purred, coming to Twilight’s opposing side and whispering in her ear. “You’ll just always feel so good. I promise, sweets.”

“Is this- are you girls always like this?” Twilight asked.

“Only just for you,” Aria answered. Her fingers were playing with Twilight’s zipper, batting it about as she yearned for the succulent treasures within. “Would you like us to prove it?”

“Prove it?” Twilight gasped. “What does that mean?”

“Can we show you?”

The poor girl staggered, yet gave a grin all the same. “I mean- if you want to, I guess- but I’m a little inexpe-”

Her words were lost in the presence of Adagio’s lips, stolen away and left to rot. As clothing was soon torn away and left forgotten, the three women claimed their prize that came in the form of a sweet, fresh-faced beauty. A long day awaited them, and the sounds that came from her were already wondrous. Aria’s tongue between her cheeks made Twilight cry out; Adagio’s hungering licks between slickened folds elicited moans- and then came Sonata to silence it all, a triumphant symphony of pleasure to wrap it all together.

Vengeance, the Sirens decided, was sweet.

Infatuation, Twilight surmised, was heavenly.

Author's Note

The suggested idea was ridiculous; I figured I may as well lean into it and be fully absurd.

Happy Valentine's Day, you loons. May it be well for you, cause it won't be for me.

Enjoy, I guess.