"Hey Scootaloo, come look at this weird box thingy!" Sweetie Belle called. As an adventure pony, in addition to having a general I-Want-To-Poke-It-With-A-Stick mentality, Scootaloo hopped off of her scooter and trotted over to where Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom where standing behind a bush. Coming into view of the weird black box, Apple Bloom did what only Apple Bloom could do: state the obvious. "It's a black box glass thingy. It's weird that this is behind a bush."
Devoted to being total jerks, Scootaloo and Cotton Candy yelled back "Of course, ya dingnut. We should take it to Princess Twilight to research and whatevers." The fact they spoke in perfect unity scared Apple Pie. "Guys, we should play around with it first so that we could get our cutiemarks in research or something" Apple said. Having a brain the size of a chicken brain cell, Scootchie thought that was a great idea and picked up the box. Not waiting for a second, or even first, opinion, Loo Loo pointed the box at herself and took a picture.
The box started whirring, much to the horror of the only person with more than a chicken brain cell. "We should not be messing with unknown magical items, especially with the fact theres a new villain being released from some magical item every season!" Exclaimed Cow Bell, but Sugar and Farm Apple told her to shut up. "Shut Up!" yelled Sweetie Belle 2.0 But Orange and Applejack jr. Turning her attention back to the box, Shoot (Uh Oh) (Yes this is part of my name, including this) noticed that a piece of paper had come out of the box. Picking it up, she showed it to the other horses.
"Its a picture of me!" Oolatoocs shouted, holding it up. "Yeah, but its strange," said Little Mac. "In the background, theres another pony, but they look.... weird." Trotting up so her tunnel vision could see, Glucose Ringer spoke her required part to make all three ponies have equal screen time. "Yeah it sure does look weird," she said, adding nothing to the conversation.
Not wanting to just be filler like she normally is, Rarity 2.0 tried in vain to think of a singular original thought. This could easily have been accomplished by simply thinking about grand and vague notions, such as the meaning of life or to ponder the existence of beings outside of the planet. However, being a horse, she lacked the mental faculties required to do more than worry about how to get a cutiemark in the next poorly-planned adventure. This could also have led her down the thought path of the very futility of their adventures, and how by simply trying out different things is not how to find your calling, but rather an excellent way to learn more about yourself and interests and allowing more opportunities to branch out. Which, Ironically, is the exact opposite of a cutie mark. The simple fact of getting a cutie mark would be the antithesis to their current life activities. However, because she is dumb and a horse, none of these thoughts even began to graze her consciousness.
Having a bright (which actually means really dark, but theres maybe 2 photons now) idea, Chicken spoke up. "We should take a picture of ourselves!" Not leaving any room for discussion, thoughts, or personal space, Empty Rocket, Sugar Clarinet, and Mango Tree crowded together for a photo. Chicken (but this time the joke is funny) brought her hoof up and quickly snapped a pic. They all looked awful, but its ok because they are awful.
A thin sheet of paper whirlled out of the machine, and the three little ~~piggies~~ ponies saw the worst photo they have ever seen. It was a picture of them and they all looked horrific. They did not look any different than usual. However, their usual state of hygiene and general lack of awareness made their own reflections turn into terrifying images of horror and torment to them. They failed to notice the quite obvious edit to the photograph, which was a normal pony, but in a level of detail that nocreature has ever seen before, let alone be able to comprehend without an immediate descent into madness.
After seeing their images for the first times, the three wayward dogs immediately died on the spot from fright. Because god has a funny sense of humour, a completely well adjusted and incredibly intelligent Twilight Sparkle walked by a few minutes after the children have died. Upon viewing the scene, Twilight's immediate reaction was a giant sigh of relief for the crown's relief and repair budget. However, she also thought she should investigate the scene so that her public image wouldn't fall any lower than it already has. After quite quickly spotting the lone photograph at the scene, because Scooters ate the others before she died, Twilight Sparkle let out a truly distressed cry of alarm.
All throughout Equestria, The Dragon Lands, YakYakistan, and other areas that the author is currently forgetting and too lazy to google, the Princess of Equestria's Royal Voice was heard reverberating throughout the lands.
Every creature heard the single cry.
"what the ABSOLUTE FU--"
The cry was so loud as to absolutely break all known laws of physics, and required a source of energy so massive that it instantly created a black hole the size of the galaxy, and promptly .2 seconds afterwords, the entire universe. So congratulations, humans. Because you littered, an entire universe of dumb as hell ponies are dead.
Save the planet >:#
