First Story

by Gaws_McJaws

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, Random
Length: 1034

Absolutely Gonna suck.

I don' t even know what its gonna be about yet, and I'm on a mobile device so TYPOS and I am tired. SO ENJOY MY FAIL

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-14 02:41:03 UTC

The Fail Begins

         Ok, so I am gonna write something. WHY? BECAUSE I SAID SO. I am so mean to myself.

         This story should be about epic fails, since it IS gonna fail horribly. THEN! Let's begin.

––––––––––––––––––––––Lets us fail begining.

Once upon a freakin time, Fluttershy was cute. Her cuteness killed a bird. The bird was flying by and was all,

"Whoa, wow. She is cute."

The bird was so busy staring at her, because he was a sick pervert, he didn't notice the thunderstorm in the distance. So he forgot to shut his windows. Then, KAFREAKINBOOM a lightning bolt flew in and killed him.

And THAT is how Fluttershy's cuteness killed a bird.

FAIL.

This seems too short, maybe I'll put anotyer paragraph of fail. TYPOS

Once upon another time, Twilight was walking along, when she found a book onthe ground. 'What the hell is a book doing out here? '   she wondered, as it was storming out. Yes, the same storm that killed the bird.

So she went home and read it.

And sge is readding the same bok you are readingg noq.

SHE ABSOLUTELY FLIPPED THE FRICK OUT WHEN SHE SAW ALL THE TYPOS.

She decided it was time to fix the abomination that is this story, so she came to my house and began forcing me to proofread.

Now shes making me write this.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

         Gaws_McJaws sucks at writing. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkel. NO YOU IDIT STOP SPELLING THINGS WRONG IT HURTS MY MIND. Books arent supposed to have typos! Ugh!"

Fun time, eh?

OK ONE MORE STORY.

I'll actually try this time...

One day, Fluttershy was walking along. She was lost in thought, as ponies gotta be lost in something, huh? Anyway, she didn't notice Derpy flying at her until it was almost too late. Fluttershy did a barrel roll out of the way as Derpy landed.

"Hi, Fluttershy!" Said Ditzy, in a voice that I can't figure out how I should describe so I won't because I am lazy. "Check out my new dog!" As she held up the sickest, most unhelthy dog ever.TYPOS

"Oh, dear..." Fluttershy worriedly stammered. "What happened to that poor puppy?"

"I dunno, I just fed it some chocolate chip muffins before," Derpy replied.

"B-but! Chocolate is POISONOUS to dogs!" Fluttershy exclaimed, a panicked look in her eye. "I have to help it right away!"

But it was too late. The dog dropped dead then and there.

WHAT IS THIS IT SAYS I CANT POST UNLESS I HAVE 1000 WORDS HDUEJXNSIIJDI

Well this just adds to the fail.

One day Pinkie Pie tried to bake a pie. Unfortunately, it had been a long time since she had baked this pie. So she forgot THE PICKLES. Holy... Spongebob reference? Dayum.

So she sat at home, tryinf to remember what she forgot. She sat there, think think thinking, like Winnie the Pooh.

Until she thought...

'Why am I stressing out over this? This pie is for Gaws McJaws, and he sucks at writing. He sucks so bad at it that he isn't even going to think of a proper ending for this short story and is going to make me decide that I shlouldn't bother baking a pie for such a sucky writer. But I don't care! I WANT TO CHEER HIM UP!'

So she remembered the pickles. And trust me, pickle pie is the single worst thing you will ever eat, ever. Period.

N

O

W

To write a story about Rarity and/or Applejack.

Once upon a time, Applejack had her own cereal brand made. Unfortunately, this made Rarity jelly. So she challenged Apple to a race. She made them retarded costumes of an apple and a cinnamon stick. Rarity was cinnamon, because she thought it was sweet and she was sweet because she is stereotyped as a fashion stuckup lady but she isnt so she souldnt be jelly at all but thie IS MY STORY BEEYOTCH.

So they raced and Cinnamon was da winner mon!

Applejack was furious. But then, she rememberd cereal didnt exist in Equestria and let it go. After all, this is a dumb story, so why should she care aboutnthe car that broke down last Tuesday?

And so...

They all attended the funeral of the pervwrt bird.

It was sad, but kinda hard to take seriously as Pinkie was eating pickle pie, and aplejack and rarity were in dumbass costumes.

BUT WAIT WHERE THE HELL IS RAINBOW DASH

SHOZ I FORGOT TO WRITE HER A MINISTORY.

She was flying around, and loved speed blah bah.

Apperently she loves a drug. It caused her to crash into the funeral. The cops then arested her for drug possesion and she became a criminal. But then the fire nation attacked.

R

OOH CLIFFHANGAR

Nah I dont have the patience for a sequel and i need another 169 words, so yeah.

They kidnapped Fluttershy, but her cuteness overpowered them. She then proceded to bust Rainbow out of jail, because hey, what are friends for? Money, right? Yeah, Fluttershy was broke and Angel was being a bish again and demandinf expensive food. Fluttershy needed cash, so as she busted Rainbow out of jail, she pickpocked with her level 81 khajit pickpocket level 100.

But she was caught and sent an unending wave of guards after her.

Ticked off, she loaded her last save, which was before all this terrible storytelling started.

Lucky her.

Unfortunatley I need another 59 words so deal with this last piece of fail.

Fluttershy was very sorry for the loss of the bird. So what did she do? I do not know, you might have to read the next chapter. I enjoy breaking the fourth wall. So everyone said bye, we hope that you survibed this suckyass fanfic that is this fanfic. I REALLY NEED LESSONS ON HOW TO WRITE. Advice please...

END

Btw I drew my icon dB.

Didn't these stories suck? Didn't a lot fail occur for both the characters and my writing skill? Oh well, if you really like these horribly random and bad typo stories then I will continue.

Until then, GAWS MCJAWS SUCKS AT WRITING™ NOT RELLY TRADEMARKE