Somewhere far into the multiverse(Anthro World!)

Canterlot Castle

"How did I get into this situation?" Raven thought to himself. The Cyborg had been asking himself this question since he had been reawakened. On his best days, he was uncomfortable. He needed a cold bath on his worst days to calm himself down. Why did Raven feel like this constantly? Is it because of the new world he found himself in? How alien Equis magic feels compared to the El and El energy he produced? Or how lax these Equestrians were when it came to security. Unfortunately, it was none of these. What made him uncomfortable was-

"Commander Raven, are you not feeling well?" Came the concerned voice of Princess Celestia.

Raven opened his single eye and found himself staring at an alabaster humanoid. Her face was equine-like, but comparing her to any known equine would be insulting. She wore a form-fitting toga that accentuated her hourglass figure. It also exposed one of her hooved legs, showing off her well-toned thigh and Cutie Mark. "Is she even wearing any underwear?" If that wasn't enough, her clothing left her massive cleavage exposed. Raven could only guess Celestia's breasts were at least JJ cups. Celestia had a unicorn horn and two huge wings, but they paled in comparison to the bombshell of a body she had; she was a head shorter than the man, horn not included.

In short, Raven wanted to leap across the table and ride her like the horse she was. Of course, he kept his outward expression stoic and ignored the uncomfortable feeling in his pants. Then, he finally remembered where he was and what he was supposed to do. The man found himself in a conference room. In front of him were other anthropomorphic creatures. This included a Yak, Zebra, Buffalo, Diamond dog, Minotaur, Dragon, Griffon, and Abyssinian. Usually, this would be all the creatures the diarchy could call upon for such a meeting.

Thankfully, Raven could 'convince' the animal folk to also come. This included the Cattlekind, Alpake, Deerfolk, Goatani, Longma, and Sheeple. He also brought along the four Changeling queens, and no one was happy. But Raven didn't care. So Raven sighed and leaned back in a custom-made chair to fit his size. "I'm just tired." Which was the understatement of the century. Between running a new country, raising children, training Moon Charm, and clearing out the lower floors of Mementos, Raven felt like shit and, at best, was running on two hours of sleep.

"You should sleep more," Came the dry remark from Princess Luna, who was equally stunning as her sister. She wore a similar dark blue form-fitting toga. She showed off her muscular arms proudly, which indicated her recent training. And just like her sister, Luna showed off one of her legs and plush rump. However, her bust was significantly smaller than Celestia's. Size DD if Raven had to guess. If given the chance, Raven would probably try to ride her as well, but he hated the blue bitch.

"I'll take that into consideration," Raven said, equally dryly. They both agreed to keep things cordial while in the public eye. The man took a deep breath and suppressed these uncomfortable feelings. "Back to the meeting. Tell me, why should I help you with the Storm King? I already have my hands full with...Everything."

"Because he's a menace!" Came from an anthropomorphic black female cat. She had yellow scleral and black slit pupils. She wore a purple dress that barely covered her slim body. Also, she wore a golden tiara on top of her head. The cat is or was the Queen of Abyssinian, and the King of Abyssinian sat next to her. "He came to our kingdom, attacked our citizens, took all of the treasure, and set everything ablaze!" The former Queen slammed her hand on the table while her tail moved back and forth in irritation.

The former King of Abyssinian patted his wife on the shoulder, trying to calm her down. "My Queen is trying to say that the Storm King will become all of our problems if we don't do anything about it. Also, did he not make you an offer?" The former King gave the cyborg a knowing look.

"He sent an envoy that consisted of a fat hedgehog and a unicorn mare with a broken horn," Raven said with a frown, remembering the interaction. "I believe the Unicorn's name was Shadow Tempest? She asked me to give up our valuables and magical artifacts and join the Storm King." Raven had to stop Maya from decapitating the two right then and there. "Naturally, I told her to sit and spin on her broken horn." This got a few snickers from a couple of occupants in the room. "And told them to leave and only return if they had something to trade. Magical artifacts and treasures? There's nothing but a pink castle and grasslands." Raven was lying through his teeth. Everything in Mementos was more valuable than everything these people had combined.

Again, Raven wasn't telling the whole truth about Shadow Tempest's offer. It made him consider something, just for a second. "I only warned Equestria and surrounding territories of a possible invasion." It was probably the reason why this meeting was happening anyway. "Me and my big mouth." Raven berated himself. He dragged along the Changeling Queens and other animal folk because he wasn't going to suffer alone through this bullshit. "Seeing how Queen Nova isn't here, I assume the Hippogriffs have been taken out?" He could only guess they somehow escaped, or it was genocide.

Princess Celestia lowered her head in shame and nodded. "Yes, it seems like it." Raven felt for them, but at the moment, he had far too much on his plate. Unlike Chrysalis, this new enemy wasn't nearby, and he wasn't sure what the Storm King had up his sleeve.

"Even if I wanted to go to war with the Storm King, I need their approval." Raven gestured toward the four Changling Queens near him: Ambrosia, Myxine, Miasma, and Calliphora. Ambrosia, of course, was the resident troublemaker who wore some transparent gown that showed off way too much, but shame isn't in her dictionary. Myxine, the logical one, wore a regular sailor uniform. There was nothing special about it: a white blouse, black trousers, and a blue sash wrapped around her slim waist. Then there's Miasma; she was the most difficult to deal with out of the four queens. Her snobbish and posh attitude got on his nerves and reminded him too much of Velder Academy. She wore a violet dress that matched her shoulder-length violet mane and a miniature top hat with a bow attached to it. It was old-fashioned compared to what modern nobles wore. Finally, there was Calliphora...

Raven stared at the mare in question. She had a frizzy, light beige mane that reached her shoulders. The horn on top of her head was reversed and looked sharp. The queen chose a white sleeping gown as her attire... Why? Raven didn't want to know. Calliphora noticed the man's stare and stared back with her slit-red eyes. She kept staring as if she could see through him. Then she finally blinked with her nictitating membrane, causing Raven to cringe inwardly. "Holy shit."Calliphora was fucking creepy and possibly a lunatic.

Overall, despite their differences, they are similar body-wise. They have black carapace skin and holes in their hands, arms, and legs. They have Slim figures that are borderline malnourished and have small breasts. By Equestrian standards, these four have modest bodies and don't make him feel hot and bothered... most of the time. "What do you mares say? Feel like going to war?" Raven asked plainly.

"Hhhmmm? Nope!" Ambrosia answered first in child-like glee.

"We have little reason to risk our drones' lives for so little gain," Myxine said next, narrowing her eyes.

"Come now. You should be on your hands and knees begging us for help." Miasma looked at the surrounding delegates contemptuously." but the answer would still be no." She laughed haughtily, causing the slits on the side of her mouth to open up.

Calliphora stared off into space again before nodding to an unseen figure. "Nuisance, the king of storms, is unworthy of the Raven's time." She spoke in her strange way. Then she directed her blank stare towards Raven. "Caution: if left for too long, the wound will begin to fester," the mare answered cryptically.

There were three 'No's and one 'Maybe.' Raven shrugged nonchalantly. He didn't have an army without those four agreeing.
He could probably send Maya to take care of the problem. Yes, the Nasod is that strong! Raven was ashamed to admit he wasn't on her level just yet. The only things stopping him from doing it were his paranoia and caution.

Seeing how this discussion was getting them nowhere, a rather old griffon cleared his throat. "What about those bombs ya dropped on Chrysalis' castle?" asked the miserly griffon.

Raven turned his attention to the ancient griffon, who was quiet and missing all the feathers on his head. He wore a rust-red fez and a grey suit. He went by the name of Grampa Gruff and was the only one willing to act as Griffonstone's representative. "I have no idea what you are talking about." Raven played ignorant. It didn't work.

The old griffon scoffed. "Don't lie to me, chick. It doesn't suit a mercenary like you," the old bird answered matter-of-factly.

"Mercenary Knight." Raven corrected, not wanting to be compared to a lowly mercenary. " We roamed the land serving and protecting the people with honor." The words felt like ash on his tongue. Regardless of honor, it was a heavy-handed way for the Velder nobles to collect taxes. Raven took a deep breath and exhaled. "It doesn't matter anymore. I no longer hold the title, and my men are dead. So drop it." This caused some of them to murmur among themselves—more insight into the Human's past.

Grampa Gruff held his talons up in mock surrender. "Alright, Alright, I'll drop it." He was surprisingly calm about it. "Still, a couple of birdies have been talking ya group dropping blue bombs on those bugs." Miasma visibly scowled at the insult but held her tongue. "So what cha hiding?" He gave the Human a cheeky grin.

"Disfrozen is a highly volatile explosive used for bombs." He wanted to keep it secret as long as possible, but that didn't mean he couldn't weave lies into the truth. "I used my knowledge of alchemy to recreate the weapon." In fact, he created three mortars and had Myxine operate them. He couldn't get the Disfrozen portals working, so the mortars were the next best thing.

"Would you be willing to share such secrets?" Came the stupid reply from a minotaur Raven couldn't bother remembering.

"As soon as I find my left arm." Raven snarked back. In translation, "Fuck Off!". Not even Trixie, who helped him put the bombs together, knew the formula for Disfrozen. Raven saw the sour or apprehensive expressions across the room. "It's not my job to uplift any of you. Why don't you ask the dragons to take care of this problem?" Raven directed his attention to the sole dragoness in the room.

Princess Ember flinched hard at Raven's piercing gaze. Like the old griffon, the dragons sent the most willing. It was unfortunate for both Ember and Raven. The dragon princess didn't want to be anywhere near the human and his unflinching gaze. They were the eyes of an apex predator who wanted to see the world burn. As for Raven, it was tough not to stare at her body. Ember wore the equivalent of bikini armor that barely covered her ridiculous assets. Massive thighs and a butt so big he can see from the front, G cup breast that looks ready to pop out of her armor. "WHY DOES A LIZARD HAVE BREAST? AND WHY ARE PEOPLE TREATING THIS AS NORMAL? DID I END UP IN SOMEONES PERVERTED DREAM?"

The Changeling Queen could quite literally taste Raven's lust. Ambrosia gave the Human a knowing look. Meanwhile, Miasma gave him a smug look. Calliphora stared off into space again. Myxine gave Raven a flat look that said, "Control yourself." He did this by thinking about when he met the young dragon Spike. It was ridiculous; the "boy" looked like a fully grown man, Raven... Raven wanted to go home.

Ember recomposed herself and answered the question. " Fathe—" she quickly corrected herself. Lord Torch will say no unless—" She trailed off and looked at the Abyssinians. "You are willing to give up on the treasure the Storm King took."

"Never!" The former Abyssinian queen hissed at the young dragoness.

Princess Ember shrugged helplessly. "Then the dragons won't help."

Raven leaned back in his chair, covering his face with his normal hand. He hated politics. "Send the elements of harmony. I'm sure they can friendship the king to death." The man was too tired to give a fuck.

"No." Princess Celestia replied firmly. Twilight was still in a fragile state.

Raven had enough of this. "What have all you been doing these past 1000 years?" There wasn't heat in his voice; it was just disappointment. "Where are your armies? Your weapons? Advancements? All I see is stagnation." It took only one creature with a fleet of wooden airships and spears to startle them. "The time of peace is over, so where is your FEROCITY!" He yelled! Almost everyone flinched at his booming voice.

Luna begrudgingly agreed but wasn't going to let those insults slide. "And what have you humans been doing all this time? Hiding yourselves away or cowering in fear?" She replied snidely. The room became deathly quiet as the temperature dropped dramatically.

"What are you implying, thief?" Raven stood up slowly from his chair, his voice calm.

Luna stood up as well, ignoring her sister's plea. "The only human we've seen running around is you." She pointed a finger at the man."So where are your human armies, hmm? I don't see them. The only thing I see is an arrogant little human hiding behind an army of Changelings."

Valasia gathered in the palm of his claw. Raven looked down right, murderous."You willing to say that to my face, you fucking thief!" The audacity of this mare calls humans cowards while using a weapon that belonged to a human! "Well, Nightmare Moon?"

Princess Luna snarled and jumped onto the table with her horn glowing a hellish blue. "You insolent monkey!"

Raven jumped onto the table, ready to fight. "Stupid fucking horse!"

Before they could brawl, Princess Celestia and the Changeling Queens tackled them. "Let's take an hour break, everypony!" The Eldest sister dragged the younger sister out by the ear. Meanwhile, the Queen dragged Raven out of the room with hands and feet bound with Changeling goo.

5 minutes later

"Do you feel better?" Asked an annoyed Myxine.

"You already know the answer to that," Raven replied dryly. He was leaning against a white pillar and staring out a window. He was watching Equestrians down below going about with their daily activities. "War is fast approaching. I can feel it." Dread gripped his heart, the unshakeable feeling of something terrible happening.

Miasma scoffed, "The Storm King? He's nothing but a fool with a couple of wooden toys." It was nothing compared to what Raven showed her: untapped potential ready to be released.

"Not him... But something else. I don't know where, but we need to prepare." Raven clenched and unclenched his claw in agitation.

"Uncertainty, Darkness spreads throughout the land, but which is the darkest?"Calliphora answered, not confident about where to go from here.

So they stayed in uncomfortable silence until Ambrosia got a bright idea. The honey Changeling stepped closer and placed her right hand over the man's crotch. "Oi!" Raven flinched away, but Ambrosia stepped forward, keeping her hand there,

"I saw how you were staring at those mares. You must be so pent up!" She started rubbing it and got a reaction. She felt his member stiffen. " How about I give you a blowjob?" Ambrosia's cheeks took a green hue.

Raven was about to refuse before he thought about it. "This might make me feel better,""YES!". He looked around before answering. "Let's find somewhere more private." Ambrosia cheered before leading Raven away.

Myxine followed behind with an eye twitch. "Are you bucking serious? You're willing to do this but not have sex with us?"

"It's complicated." Came Raven's reply.

Miasma and Calliphora also came along, the former to show the proper technique and the latter out of curiosity. Raven's one blow job turned into four.

Bonus!

While everyone thought Calliphora was staring off into space, she was looking at the occasional specters that would pop into and out of existence near Raven. She would see a Human woman with blonde hair standing near him, and she would see Human males wearing armor gather around the man.

Sometimes, she would see a boy with red hair and matching red armor give an encouraging cheer. Next, a girl with purple hair and a wand in hand would huff and turn away. Next, a woman with green hair and pointy ears would appear and hug the tired man. A silhouette of a girl made from zeros and ones would fade in and out. A girl with fiery red hair who looked similar to the younger boy would give encouraging nods. Another boy with silver hair would lean on a nearby wall and give Raven occasional looks. A little girl and a tall man would appear and cheer the man on. And finally, broken shards of something would come into existence and stand there.

Once these specters noticed her look, they disappeared. What a strange man Calliphora decided to follow.

Author's Note

APRIL FOOLS! Well, not fully; I wanted to make something funny and give you guys a taste of what's planned for the future. Of course, some of this stuff might change as I write, but you know. This is mainly a parody of Anthro stories I've seen, especially the ones where Spike is a grown-ass man when he shouldn't be any older than 10 canonically.

Again sorry for the long break, but I'll try my best to pop out the next chapter. This also doesn't mean I'm fully back.

Thank you for reading!