Dreamwalker's Tale

I was glad that she was still there when I woke up again. I could not remember what I had dreamed about. No nightmare apparently, so I found it hard to explain where this irrational fear had come from. She had shifted and flipped over sometime throughout the night and now lay with her back against my chest. I was playing the big spoon and I certainly did not mind.

I grimaced. The smell in the room certainly had not gotten better with time. I used a little bit of magic to open the window. Fresh late morning air streamed in. A few birds were chirping and could now be heard more clearly. The town’s muffled and distant hustle and bustle was growing as well.

A few more minutes would not hurt, I told myself. It gave me time to rethink the events. To at least try and sort through everything. Holding her tight still felt great. But it always had and it always would. Even when I was conflicted, it never felt wrong in any way to be close to her. But sharing her bed, holding her like this… I was hard-pressed to call this ‘friendly’. This was not a sleepover. There were dried patches of my seed in her coat. I could still taste traces of her on my lips.

But I enjoyed it. Very much so. And I felt a twinge of sadness for a moment as I thought about how I might lose this. Because if I really were about to bring her and Luna together once more, there was no doubt in my mind that I would lose this.

Luna was rather possessive after all. Prone to jealousy. She did not mind sharing as such, but clear lines had to be drawn and respected. And last time I had seen her, she looked very much like she wanted to punch me.

So where did this leave us? I thought back and tried to compare my new reality to old memories. It was hard to distinguish between them at times. We have clearly had a lot of fun. Everything had clicked into place. We still harmonized quite well. Completed each other.

I looked down to her and saw the back of her head. I did not feel like kissing her. Or rutting her impressive brains out all over again. I sighed. But was that all it was about?

I did feel drained, to be fair. Like something that had had no outlet had finally been vented. Maybe it was my desire for her?

I felt her shift. Maybe it was the increased volume from outside. Or the slightly colder fresh air that was streaming in. She turned around, careful not to disturb the blanket or me too much. She looked almost relieved to find me awake. And for a precious moment we just gazed into each other’s eyes. Full of worry and fear and hope, searching for answers. Was this the moment we broke apart? Were we lovers? Friends? Neither? It would have been easy to lean forward and kiss her. But I found that I did not even entertain the idea on any level.

Finally, as if we were both making a conscious effort to break a spell, we smiled at each other. We leaned in to nestle against one another. I nuzzled her cheek and grinned as I heard her softly giggle. And we simply enjoy a moment of utmost closeness… between friends. “Ew,” she giggled again when I let my tongue dart forward and licked inside her ear for a second. I found it to be quite relieving to know that we could still joke around like this without it being immediately awkward. And just like that, I had my answers.

She now had her experience to draw from. That one time she could rely on to give her indication what to do and what to expect.

And I finally knew that she belonged to Luna. Always had been, always would be. But this time, she belonged to her and only her.

And we were still friends. Very, very close friends. Who knew a lot of stuff about each other that was not ‘friend’-stuff in nature, strictly speaking. But we would not let that come between us.

She pulled back after a moment and looked at me before she turned around again. And she wordlessly scooched close against me and took my foreleg, laying it around her like she was wrapping herself up in me. ‘A few more minutes’, was what I gathered from this. I did not mind. It was only fair — I had gotten those minutes to sort myself out before she had even woken up. So I used those minutes to just enjoy her presence and listen to the town close by.

I did start to think about Luna more and more as time passed. How her and Twilight's interactions had gone in the dreamscape. They had been quite friendly then, had they not? “Will you tell her?” I finally asked. I was not even sure if she was awake, to be honest. She could have just as easily nodded off again. But I felt her wing stir a little.

“I think I will,” she answered quietly. “I just need to come up with… something, first.”

That was so very much Twilight, it made me chuckle a little. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“You’re trying to come up with that biiig, fancy idea that would make everything perfect,” I guessed. “Don’t. You can certainly try. Both for ‘big’, and for ‘fancy’. But I know you. You will aim for ‘perfect’, and… I think we both know: It will never be perfect. Last night had been decided by whims and intuition, what felt right at the moment. For both you and me. And if you ask me, as far as sex goes, it was perfect. But that wasn’t something that could have been planned. Try to be more flexible about it. I know you can be. Take a nice sounding idea, prepare a little — just a little — and go from there. You have these very expensive telescopes and a nice balcony. Maybe invite her for a night of stargazing. Of course she knows her own night sky, but she won’t say ‘no’. Because she’ll be coming over for you, not the stargazing itself. And maybe she’ll even start to tell you stuff about it you might never find in any book. Or take her to the forge downstairs. You could show her some of your work, how you have modified your equipment. She had been a widely known and revered enchanter in her days and I’m pretty sure she hasn’t come around to research how that has evolved quite yet. Heck, you could even take her to the spa for a day. She loves to be pampered on occasion. Don’t overdo it, though. Pick an idea, any idea, and run with it. It’ll work out just fine, trust me. She’ll love it. If only because it involves you.”

She sighed deeply but nodded. “I’ll try.” Of course I had now given her some ideas to work with, but to be honest: It was nothing she could not have come up with in a few minutes anyway. But I knew how hard it was for her to restrain herself. To not overthink things. I knew it because we shared quite a few similarities at times.

As silence fell over the room once more I wondered. According to her own reasoning — and I was inclined to believe her on this — Twilight now felt the necessary confidence to be open about her feelings. She would at least try to woo Luna — because I had basically asked her to and in a weird way, she would feel obliged by her affirmation. Maybe she had navigated herself into that position knowingly. It was another reasonable point to go through with it. Something to poke herself along the way.

Maybe I had already given her all the nudging she required. That would leave Luna, of course. But I was not exactly worried about her end of this deal. Then again… why had she not acted yet if she felt strongly about Twilight? That thought actually gave me pause. Luna tended to be impatient. Sure, the impatience of an immortal being might still be vastly different than that of a mortal, but still. It seemed something was somehow blocking the road on her end.

I would obviously have to look into that.

At some point anyway. Because today would be another exhausting day, I was sure. Dealing with Rainbow would be messy. I dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, these past few days with me dilly-dallying around would have helped her cool down a little. But I already knew better than that.

My thoughts derailed when Twilight started to stir again. It was the tiniest movement, and then she lay still again. Only to move a little bit more, before she lay still yet again. It took me a moment to recognize: She grew uncomfortable. And just as I was about to say something, she spoke up first. “I need a shower.”

Her voice was almost a little bit whiny which made me chuckle without restraint. She turned around with an indignant huff and poked me in my shoulder. “And what’s so funny about that, mister? You are the one responsible for that!”

I only chuckled harder for a moment before I managed to calm myself down enough to respond. “I’m pretty sure most of that was you, but I would not mind cleaning you up again…?” I offered in jest and just as I had anticipated, she stuttered a little and blushed furiously. I laughed hard once more.

“Y-You are impossible,” she grumbled with the most endearing pout I had ever seen.

“Love you too, Twily,” I joked further.

“Hey! That one is reserved!” she protested.

I calmed myself down a little — again — and nodded. “Right, sorry. So. About that shower. Do you want me to carry you or shall I just spray all over you? Water, that is. Probably.” Her face paled a little, which contrasted quite nicely with her deep blush and as I was laughing my ass off, she literally kicked me out of her bed. Because now it was hers again and I was decidedly not welcome anymore. What a shame.

Despite my surprised yelp, I continued to laugh myself silly while she mockingly sulked a little. After I finally got myself together again and stood up, I smiled at her. “I’m so glad I still have you as a friend,” I remarked.

“That’s not fair,” she whined a little. “I wanted to stay mad at you!”

“Tough luck.” I dared not to step onto the bed again, but she was lying close enough to the edge to not make it necessary. I leaned down and nuzzled her neck for just long enough to let her fake anger drain away.

Once I pulled back, she stood up and looked herself over. “Geez, I am a mess,” she remarked.

“Yup. Absolutely proud of it,” I added and grinned a little as she tried to stare me into silence. It was not helped by the fact that she was still smiling, despite her annoyance. “Just take your shower and take your time. I’m going to fix the room, don’t worry.”

Her expression softened as warmth and gratitude returned. She nodded once and left. Which left me with this room. To fix it up took a lot less time than I had expected and seeing as the sky was free of any clouds, I left the window open. The blanket was in dire need of a thorough wash, as were the sheets and one of the pillows. So I just remade the bed. New sheets, new blanket, the soiled stuff went right into the laundry and I made a mental note to at least try to care for that before Spike got the chance. Because honestly, my memories told me nothing about who was doing the laundry to begin with and I could imagine him doing this as part of his daily chores. I would make at least an attempt to spare him that.

I left the bedroom and stood in the middle of the hallway for a couple of seconds. What to do, what to do. I could hear the shower running. I turned and walked towards the kitchen on a whim and found Spike there. Maybe I should not have been surprised by this — it was late morning, after all. He had probably been up for some time. “Hey buddy,” I greeted him.

He chuckled and then his eyes grew wide. “Woah. What happened to you? You look like—“ But he stopped himself rather abruptly. I raised an eyebrow at him to make him talk, but he blushed and shook his head. “Nevermind.”

Ah. Smart dragon. Spike was first and foremost a very young dragon. I made a conscious effort to treat him like an adult, as he was more mature than most ponies gave him credit for, but even so, I had not anticipated him putting one and one together this quickly. Or at all actually.

Despite that and to my own surprise, I felt no awkwardness. “Wanna help me make pancakes and coffee? Twilight should be here soon.”

Grateful for a new topic to latch onto, he nodded vigorously and even boasted a little as he puffed his chest out. “You meant to say ‘can you make pancakes while I make coffee’, right?”

I chuckled. “Right.”

So we did just that and we managed to get breakfast together before Twilight came in. She looked a lot cleaner. Much to Spike's relief, as I noted with amusement. “Oh?” was all she said at first, taking in the sight of the two of us standing there, grinning and presenting her with some of her favorites.

“Right,” I started and trotted past Twilight. “That would be my name now that the bathroom is yelling. Enjoy breakfast!”

I felt no need to torture myself with ice cold water. I instead opted for a nice hot shower. Not scalding hot, of course. Just hot enough that it prickled under my skin and burned those pesky thoughts away. And right now, all thoughts were pesky. So I stood there and enjoyed a silent and empty head. It felt nice for a change. I was certain that soon enough things would become complicated and messy again. That was alright. Such was life. But this moment, right here and right now, was my little reprieve.

After what was surely way too much time, I actually started doing more than just standing there and letting the water pour down on me. I tended to my coat, cleaned my mane and tail, and fixed myself up again. Once out of the shower, I used a brush to tame my knotty, messy mane and tail and brushed my coat a couple of times, just because it felt nice. I knew that Rarity swore that brushing one’s coat for who knows how many times per day gave it a pearly shine or whatever she called it, and she was very insistent that we at least try it once. I vaguely remembered that I did and I also vaguely remembered that it had an effect. Just none that was worth this much time and effort in my eyes and much to her dismay.

When I returned to the kitchen to fix myself some breakfast as well, it was already patiently waiting for me. Twilight had used her magic to keep the leftover pancakes warm and levitated me a mug with apple juice. “I love being home,” I mumbled with a grin and graciously accepted both. While I sat down and ate, my own words came back to haunt me a little as they reminded me of something I had wanted to bring up. For clarification’s sake at least. “Twilight?”

“Hm?” She had drifted deep into her own musings but looked up immediately.

“Do I… do I still have a guest room?” I asked.

She furrowed her brow. “Of course you do?”

I shook my head. “No, I mean… do I still have a guest room?” I repeated and switched to a more clear pronunciation.

She made a little ‘oh’-face but did not hesitate. “No. That is… we have not really talked about this yet, have we?”

I shook my head again. “No. That’s why I brought it up. I thought that you had invited me to stay at some point…? But I did not want to be presumptuous.” I did not like how cautious my voice suddenly sounded.

She took note of it as well and promptly sent me a reassuring smile. “When that crystal castle grew out of the ground,” she started with what sounded like a longer explanation, so it left me enough time to eat some more meanwhile, “I despised it at first. To be honest, I did so for a long time and maybe a small part of me still does. I had lost my home. I had loved my home and now, before I had been given any time to grieve, I was presented with this cold, jagged crystal thing that tried to replace one of the warmest, most welcoming places I had ever known. How could I not hate it a little? But I adapted. I grew accustomed to it over time. My friends tried their best to make it easier. But there were certain things they just could not hide. The many, many empty rooms for example. This castle is so vast and grand and empty and on some days, I ask myself why I had never felt like this in Canterlot Castle. You might laugh, but at some point, I even played around with the idea of inviting my friends to live with me. I tried to come up with all manner of reasons. It would be easier to assemble when another villain, banished or lost or imprisoned for a thousand years, suddenly reappeared. It would be easier to stay in contact. It would be easier to share stories, comfort and help with each other. I came up with so many reasons because there was one I did not want to tell.”

“You’re lonely,” I interjected.

She sighed. Her hesitation quickly drained and she nodded. “And for every reason I made up, my mind told me about one more thing that spoke against it. Applejack cannot leave her farm. She is basically rooted to this place. To her family. Rarity would be elated to live in a castle… at first. There can be no question that she would have enough workspace here. And I would welcome Sweetie Belle as often as she wanted to be here. But she lives by her own rules, and she cherishes them greatly. Pinkie has a similar problem as Applejack with the Cakes basically being her second family. The same is true for Fluttershy and her animals. And Rainbow… I asked her once why she insisted on this cloud palace. Sleeping on clouds, being surrounded by them… for a pegasus, that feels natural. In a different conversation, she had told me once that being inside of this castle felt like being in a cave. She never did outright say it. But she is uncomfortable with that. Most pegasi are, I think. It never made sense to ask them.” I could understand her reasoning. It most assuredly was a vastly broken down version of all the little details that certainly had arranged themselves into neat little clusters in her head. But it was enough to get the gist of it. “Then you came along and it just… it worked? I was not even sure if I wanted it to, but everything just seemed to fall into place. You almost instantly got along well with Spike. He genuinely seems to like you. You do not just ignore Owlicious’ presence and you even changed the castle interior for me. Then you started making breakfast and brought White Tip along and… it is moving fast. It has not been two weeks and you already integrated yourself into this household. I will admit that this pace scared me at first. Maybe it does a little even now. But at no point did it feel too fast. Or wrong. It just works and… I really like it. I would love for you to stay. It might be that we run into issues later on and if that happens… we will deal with them then.”

Her expression turned apprehensive. Silly Twilight. I had finished my pancakes, set the fork down and stood up. I simply walked over to her and hugged her tightly. She relaxed immediately. “I’d love that. Seriously. As I said, I thought you had invited me anyway and I just wanted to clarify. If you’ll have me, I’ll gladly stay.”

She sighed. “Deal.”

“Deal.” I pulled back and booped her nose. Because I felt like it. And I was only encouraged to do so more in the future as she wrinkled her nose and her quiet giggle rewarded me greatly on top of that. “Now. While Spikes’ pancakes were awesome — hey, where is Spike anyway?”

She smiled knowingly. “Oh, you know, apparently Sweetie Belle had invited him over. So they could both help Rarity with a hat.”

“… a hat,” I deadpanned.

The spell was broken shortly after with both of us giggling a little. After we had calmed down, I cleaned the plate, set it down to dry and turned to her. “Shall we try and catch ourselves a Rainbow?”

She smiled and stepped up to my side. “We shall.”

“Phase one completed,” I noted looking up. I saw Twilight nod out of the corner of my eye. High up above our heads was the obscenely large three story house of Rainbow Dash. More like a palace really. Two rainbow pools embedded within the thick cloud cover that made up something akin to a ‘floor’ served as decorative elements to either side of a winding path that led up to the door. The house had an almost tower-like shape and being neither a pegasus nor an alicorn, I knew little about its internal structure.

“Do we have a plan?” Twilight spoke up.

This time I actually had one. The relative silence we had shared walking over here and searching the skies for Rainbow's house drifting about had not only been comfortable, it had been useful. For once I had more than just ‘an idea’. “Several in fact,” I started. “Plan A: We teleport in there only to find out that they have solved their issues by themselves in the meantime and everything is fine again. We apologize for the rude intrusion, I introduce myself and we leave.”

She seemed to like that one. “That would be ideal,” she mumbled but we both shared a look and already suspected that as much as we wished for that to come true, it seemed way too easy.

“Right. Everything after Plan A might require you to keep her from just flying off. You know how she is. Especially when confronted with something she can’t just kick in the face.” We both shared a smile. “Plan B: We teleport in there, we find out that things haven’t changed much, we talk things through with Rainbow. Depending on how that conversation goes, we might want to stick around and make sure she’s okay. Maybe we even need to go and talk to Applejack again, we’ll see.” While she was not keen on keeping her friend in an uncomfortable situation, pinning down her tail with magic so she could not flee was hardly new to Twilight. “Plan C: We teleport in, we find out things are bad or worse, we try to talk things over with Rainbow and depending on how that goes, I go for a dreamwalk with her. Considering how Applejack reacted last time, it might become necessary for another heist. If that is the case…” I furrowed my brow in thought. “Twilight, if it would be alright with you, I could really use your help. It’s not even afternoon yet. If this comes to pass, I will try once more to make Applejack sleep, so the heist has a chance to proceed. But that will likely mean that she’s lying somewhere in the orchard. I don’t worry about predators as much as I worry about Big Mac or Applebloom simply waking her up. Could you maybe look for her and watch over her?”

Twilight’s smile only grew warmer as she stepped up and hugged me for a moment. “I would love to help. Do not forget that they are my friends as well. And I think I can even do you one better.”

“Oh?”

Her smile turned into a grin. “That day when I stumbled into you, I was at Zecora’s house to refill some of my ingredients for alchemical experiments. I should have enough lavender and passionflower for a sleep potion.”

“… lavender and passionflower? And that would work?” I curiously asked.

She nodded. “The variants that grow in the Everfree are a lot more potent and actually quite dangerous because of it. A little bit of alchemical preparation to enhance their potency even further and she should fall asleep fast.”

“And sleep depending on the dosage,” I mumbled. “That might help, yes. Just don’t forget to include in your calculations that she’s an earth pony. A pretty stubborn one, at that. How do you intend on administering it?”

Twilight giggled this time. “Don’t worry, my calculations are fine. It accounts for her weight and resting heart rate, everything really.” Right. Twilight being Twilight. And I was not about to ask how she knew Applejack's weight. “I think it would be easiest to just walk up to her, talk a little and offer her some water.” It was almost devious. We were admittedly practically planning on poisoning one of our friends. A fact that Twilight knew just as well and she did seem a little torn with the idea.

“Don’t worry,” I tried to reassure her. “She will be fine. And so will we be. She might not be happy about it, but… well, you know. Wouldn’t have happened if she weren’t this stubborn.”

While it did little to help her with her conflicting feelings, it did at least steel her resolve in going through with it. “Time for some magic,” she said with a small smile. The first spell she cast on both of us — the cloud walking spell. Knowing how the spell worked, I was not surprised as a tingling ran up my spine and my hooves started to feel strangely light. The second spell was cast only on me and after my questioning look, she explained it to be a simple one to shield me against the cold up there. If we actually were to dreamwalk from Rainbow's house, it meant potentially lying down while cold winds swept our unmoving bodies and sucked any heat out of them. Pegasi might have been fine with that, their bodies had adapted to such an environment. Mine… less so.

And finally, she charged her horn with the teleportation. “Ready?” she asked.

I stepped a little bit closer to her and felt better as she laid her wing over my back. “Ready.”

If my memory served me right, teleporting myself felt a little disorienting at first, but that got better with practice. Being teleported however always felt like an entire trip on a rollercoaster stuffed into a fraction of a second. Nauseating. I expected that exact experience and I tried to brace myself but it did little to actually help.

When the flash of light cleared from my eyes, I tried hard to keep myself from retching. I trusted myself to look around and move a couple of seconds later as the vertigo started to recede. We had successfully arrived in Dash’s bedroom. Twilight apparently wasted no time even trying the door. I could understand why.

The room was a dump. Half of the chaos we were seeing seemed to be the result of its owner just being a generally messy pony. Worrisome was the other half, which included the still broken dresser made of cloud material lying on a wall in a heap. It looked like a tornado had come through. A technicolor tornado, I suspected.

Rainbow was lying on her bed, with her back to us. She knew we were here though. Teleportation was not exactly subtle. A loud pop, flashing light and the smell of ozone. Her ear swiveled in our direction but she remained quiet. She probably waited to be addressed, maybe she even hoped that whoever so rudely intruded upon her domain might just leave again.

Twilight and I shared a look. This was no Plan A situation. So we were already down on the ideal outcome. What a pity. While she readied herself, I stepped aside, to the end of the bed and out of immediate sight should Rainbow just flip over.

“Rainbow?” Twilight quietly asked.

“Go away, Twilight,” came the reply. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Rainbow, I’m not going anywhere. I know that. You know that. We might be able to help you. Please talk to me!” Her little slip-up, if it even was one, was neither acknowledged by herself nor by Rainbow.

The pegasus sulked just a little bit longer before giving a defeated groan. And as expected, she just rolled over onto her other side and faced Twilight. “Fine. What do you want?”

Seeing her face made Twilight only worry more. This in turn made me worry, as I had not seen it yet. “You look awful — how long have you not been sleeping?” she blurted out.

“Gee, Twilight, thanks. Nice talk. I feel so much better now.” She huffed but did finally answer. “A couple of days or so, I dunno. What day is it?”

I snickered. It was a dumb move really. It blew my status as a silent observer. And it was in poor taste as well, as Rainbow clearly was not feeling well at all. But her nonchalance about not knowing what day it was, it just cracked me up. It was oh so very Rainbow.

She immediately tensed up, sat up straight and glared daggers at me. “And who the hay are you?!”

“Sorry, sorry, I, uh… I’m Dreamwalker,” I offered.

“He’s a friend as well,” Twilight threw into the mix.

Rainbow looked me over and apparently recognized something. “You,” she spat. For a moment I thought she was about to seethe. But I obviously misinterpreted the signs as only a second later, she deflated with an annoyed groan and let herself fall onto her back, wings splayed out. “That’s not fair,” she mumbled.

“You… uh… you know me?” To say that I was surprised was an understatement. How? Just how did she recognize me?

Rainbow gave a snort in response. “Pinks told me you brought her and Flutters together. So, uh… thanks, I guess.” Another groan. “And Derpy told me about this dude that ‘seems to be really nice’ and ‘gets along well with foals’ who’s apparently hunkering down with Twilight. I’ve heard of you.”

“Oh.” That was all the response I could muster while my mind drew blanks. Ohhh.

I felt a massive heat wave spread from my thumping heart throughout my body. It lit up everything along the way that could turn red. Good with foals, am I? I should probably thank Derpy again for speaking so highly of me. I had not expected her and Dash to speak though. Or Dash and Pinkie. Or Dash and anypony really. But now that I was standing here, left speechless for the moment, I could not even explain why I had thought that. I knew Rainbow. She could sulk around for a couple of days, sure, but being confined to a single space for too long would have her chomping at the bit in no time. She was always darting about, being social with just about anypony she wanted to have around her. And quite similar to Luna, she usually just went for it. She just had a little more problems figuring out what she wanted from time to time.

“Rainbow, he is a friend,” Twilight reiterated and filled the void. I was very grateful for that. “And I believe that he can help you. Both of you. He is willing to try, at least. If you would let him.”

With another groan — playing it up a little, are we? —, Rainbow sat back up and looked around between the two of us. “And do what? Is he gonna try and sidle up next to me, so he can do his weird dream stuff?” she asked Twilight only to turn to me before waiting for any answer. “I swear to Celestia, if you even try to hug me, I’m gonna kick you out the window.”

I chuckled heartily despite the threat and nodded. “Duly noted. And yeah, I know. You’re not into all the mushy stuff.” She gave a curt nod in affirmation before turning to Twilight again. We were at this point still aiming for Plan B. And it did not even look all that bad. Rainbow looked like she had been to Tartarus and back and we would probably have met her in a vastly different, more hostile mood yesterday or the day before that, but she was talking to us, had not attempted to flee even once and seemed somewhat reasonable as far as Rainbow Dash was concerned… so maybe things worked out in our favor?

“Rainbow… what happened?” Twilight finally asked with a pleading tone and warmth in her eyes that was just disarming.

She was not playing fair and everypony in the room knew it. “I was just being stupid again,” Rainbow lamented. “I got this letter from the Academy a couple weeks ago. Another rejection for active duty. I can fly circles around some of their active flyers! I even bested their best team!”

Twilight saw just as much as I did that there was a risk of Rainbow derailing herself. Maybe it was just subconscious, but she tried to get away from the topic. “I’m very sorry about your rejection, Rainbow—“ Twilight started when Rainbow suddenly interrupted with a quiet voice.

“I’m not.”

The room fell silent for a moment. “… come again?” Twilight finally spoke up in confusion.

It took Rainbow a good while to open her mouth again. “I’m not,” she repeated almost defiantly. “If they would finally take their heads out of their asses and put the best flyers on the ‘best flying’ team, then I… I would’ve…” Her voice cracked. It usually did that when she was in turmoil, so it was only fitting here. “I would’ve lost her.” ‘And yet I lost her anyway’ was as strongly implied as was possible without outright saying it.

“But why would that—“ Twilight started.

I was the one interrupting this time. “Because of the traveling,” I answered the half-spoken question. “And everything that entails. The Wonderbolts do a lot more than just fly and look awesome doing it. They parade around. They put on shows for dignitaries, go to galas, and they travel all over Equestria. Sometimes even beyond. She would be away for months, if not longer, only to return for a couple of days at best. Winter season might be different. But there's a reason ponies say that 'you give them your best years'.”

“Winter is pretty chill,” Rainbow weakly agreed, but her look of sadness said it all. Winter was not enough.

I furrowed my brow. Something about this felt off. “You wouldn’t have enough time for her… and you’re not all that sad about the rejection… so why did you dump her?” I was not so sure about my initial hypothesis any longer. I had thought that she had ended the relationship because she felt that Applejack deserved someone who would not hesitate to put her above anything else. But I could not fit that together with what I was hearing and seeing.

Rainbow's eyes widened in surprise, which only served to prove my doubt further. “What? No! I didn’t dump her!” But seconds later, she added, “Well I… I didn’t mean to.”

Twilight moved up and sat down on the bed beside her friend and slowly stroked her hoof along Rainbow's back. The pegasus shot me a look that could have killed a lesser pony. A silent threat that none of this was happening, my eyes were lying and I was better off not to mention that to anypony ever.

I could live with that. Quite happily so. It was a nice sight to behold how the slightly larger alicorn comforted her friend. I even thought of Rainbow as actually quite cute, despite her attitude. She would hate that. Gone was the boisterous mare that knew everything and could do anything and was the bestest and fastest. Now she was just Rainbow Dash. A pony. A pony in need of some comfort and she allowed herself to receive what her friend was willing to give.

“I was panicking,” Rainbow started to explain. “After the letter, I thought about stuff. If I still wanted to become a Wonderbolt. If I wanted to quit the reserve. Heck, I even thought about settling down as captain of the weather team or something. I needed to figure this out. What I wanted. And where Applejack's place in all this was. What I wanted for us. And it all got so complicated, like… everything was just knots in my head. There wasn’t a single part that I could just tackle. Like I’m used to. And then she started pressing me for answers. I kept avoiding it, but she wouldn’t let me. She even asked me if I had lost interest or found somepony else! A-And then she… she said I would answer her now… or n-never… a-and I just panicked… I just… flew away… I had no answers, I couldn’t have answered anything!” Her voice cracked again. All that work over the last couple of days, slowly and carefully putting the pieces together, fell apart in an instant. She buried her muzzle on Twilight's shoulder and tried to hide tears we were all aware of anyway. My heart sank seeing her suffer like this.

I turned. Rainbow did not want me to see this and that was fine. With Twilight being there for her, I would have been fine actually going for a walk, but… I did not want to get lost in this house or snoop around. And just as well could I not just ‘go back down’ on my own. So I did the next best thing and turned around and ignored how Twilight softly cooed to her friend as best as I could, while her walls broke down further and her erratic breathing became quiet sobbing.

While nothing was happening behind me, I tried to sort through this new information. I was so furious with my beloved almost-sister Applejack. I did not think for a second that she had actually lied to me. While she was capable of it, she was everything but good at it. And I believed whole-heartedly that she believed what she had said. The fault was mine then. I should have asked for more details. I should have asked how exactly Rainbow had dumped her.

It would have made things so much easier.

Having heard Rainbow's side of things now, it became apparent that something was up with Applejack. I was honing in on a detail that still seemed to be amiss when I heard Rainbow's devastated voice behind me just hoofing me the exact thing. “There’s nothing left anyway,” she cried. “I tried to talk to her yesterday, b-but… guess she’s finally sick of it…”

Yesterday. So after our talk. After she had said that she needed time to think. I wonder what she had been thinking about and what the results had been. Apparently nothing that made her want to reconcile with Rainbow.

AJ pressed for answers. Rainbow squirmed around. AJ pressed harder. Rainbow freaked out and fled. I knew this scenario. My memories served me a whole heap of them on a silver platter. A recurring theme. On rare occasions with inverted roles. But they made up. They always did.

With help, obviously. Always with help.

Right. We were here. We knew now. What to do next?

Rainbow desperately wanted her back, that much was clear. But Applejack had shrugged her off when she tried to make amends. Why? Of course we could try and talk to Applejack at this point, which was not looking all that promising. Plan C then.

I turned around to face them both again. I envied Rainbow for a fraction of a second. She was entirely lost in a feathery cocoon, only her tail and mane poking out here and there. I knew that feeling. It was great. I quickly shook my head to clear it and focused on Twilight, who shot me a sad little smile. I returned a hopeful one. ‘Plan C’, I silently mouthed. She nodded, but then looked down at Rainbow who had calmed down but still clung to her.

“Rainbow?” I asked her.

“What?” came the muffled reply. She sounded so miserable.

“I don’t get it, you don’t get it, and I bet not even Twilight gets it,” I proclaimed in a snake oil salespony pitch. And I knew that I had to sell this one. “So I’d like to offer that ‘weird dream stuff’ to you. Twilight is going to have our back and we are going on an epic heist mission. We will find out why Applejack is all weird. You in?”

I waited in bated breath for a moment before Rainbow carefully lifted one of Twilight's wings out of the way so she could see me. “No hugging,” she demanded.

“No hugging involved,” I promised. Wasn't Applejack complaining that she was clingy at some point...? "No hugging," I repeated insistently. She stared me in the eyes and I stood my ground. After what felt like minutes, she disentangled herself from Twilight. “Fine.”

Now we are talking. I nodded to Twilight. She looked Rainbow over once more, but her friend seemed to be stable enough for now and had given no indication of any impulses to flee. Once she was satisfied with her inspection, she vanished in a raspberry-colored flash of light.

Without warning.

“I hate it when she does that,” both Dash and I said in unison. We stopped to look at each other and shared a weak smile after a moment.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked me. “I get Twilight. But you? I don’t even know you.”

Ah yes, there we were again. Well, Twilight needed to prepare a potion, find Applejack in acres of orchard and smooth talk her into drinking what was essentially poison. Surely we had a spare minute or two.

“I had a very good friend once,” I started and grinned. “I didn’t always agree with her. And at times, we struggled to find common ground. But it did work out somehow. We both cared, so, you know… we made it work. I guess over time, she rubbed off on me. I won’t leave my friends hanging.” I pushed on as I saw her eyebrow rise. “She was this cocky, boisterous pegasus. Quite the athlete. Always up for any challenge, out to prove herself in anything, to anyone. First to perform a sonic rainboom. I really didn’t like her attitude at times, but… she had this deep drive, this admirable determination, this persistence despite overwhelming odds. The least I could do was respect that. And with time, I really grew to like her. She had a wicked sense of humor, without it ever feeling malicious. She was always game to do something obviously dangerous or stupid. She was just… so much fun to hang out with. And in those rare moments when she got quiet, I think I appreciated her even more. She was an avid reader of adventure stories. I could nerd out with her so hard for hours on end. Daring Do really should have used a whip for that stupid gemstone.”

“That’s what I said!” she agreed enthusiastically. Of course Rainbow had already put one and one together, but, well… I had to acknowledge that it probably was hard to believe such a wild story.

“Hm. Tell you what. See if you can recognize this tune, alright?” I closed my eyes and called forth a specific memory without waiting for Dash. She was no slowpoke like me, after all. I had experienced this melody before. The accompanying scene was blurry and lacked detail. No other sense was present except sight and hearing, but what I heard was crystal clear. And lacking any musical talent, I tried my darn best to hum what I heard.

“I do,” she squeaked out after just a couple of tunes. Well. That had been quick. “Where… uh…”

I smiled, opened my eyes again and looked at her. She seemed embarrassed. “You care. A lot. But by Celestia, are you messy,” I started my explanation with a little chuckle and ignored her indignant glare. “A while back, you took lessons in music theory with Twilight under some weird pretense. And you took practical lessons with Fluttershy as well. She couldn’t teach you much in terms of instruments, but she taught you singing. You were all hush-hush about it so that nopony would suspect the incredibly mushy stuff you were up to. But when it came time, you chickened out. You wrote that song to tell her how much you loved her. But your fears ate away at you. If I recall correctly, you mostly feared that your voice would crack. Of course you would only tell us all this once it wouldn’t bother you anymore, many, many years later. We were helping you clear out your house. You had no need for it any longer, since you were moving in with AJ. She found it in a dresser or drawer or something. It was the perfect song to be played with that silver harmonica that Applejack still hides from the world as the greatest treasure she possesses. The one she inherited from her parents. AJ loved that song.”

I had her dumbstruck. She was silent for a good long while and tried to process what I had told her. That initial blush came and went and then came and went again. Rainbow was fairly easy to read. Some more indignation here, a little bit of embarrassment there. Finally, her expression settled for hope. “She did?” her voice squeaked again.

I nodded with a smile. “She did. I must admit, I don’t know if you ever actually sang that song, but she played it. A lot.”

She was silent once more before furrowing her brow. “So you’re telling me we were buddies sometime, somehow. Are you a time traveler or something? Because that would be so awesome.”

“Why does everypony assume time travel first?” I chuckled in response.

“Ehrm, hellooo? Twilight?”

“Right,” I chided myself. “The incident with Pinkie and the Archives. But no, it’s not time travel. I think. Honestly, I don’t know. And neither does Twilight, so far. Though I have to admit, I’ve been around for almost two weeks now and we weren’t exactly diligent in our research concerning the matter. Somehow, we had… other things to do. Like fixing relationships that were meant to be.” Now that got her attention. She obviously tried to feign disinterest. After all, that was much too uncool for The Rainbow Dash. But I had seen her head snap around at top speed. I grinned a little. “It’s hard to describe. Imagine you have a puzzle. That is one life you live. Now, break it apart and take, let’s say… half the pieces? Maybe less. Then do the same thing for… I dunno… three, four, ten, fifty more puzzles? And mix those halves together. With the exception of those last two weeks, that’s basically my memory.”

“That sucks,” she simply stated and I simply cracked up. It was refreshing to talk to her again.

“It does at times, yeah. But there are other times when it really isn’t all that bad. It helped me a lot actually. I mean, I woke up and basically knew who my friends were, where they lived and what they like and dislike — sort of. But that’s not even the part I was aiming for. Thing is, whatever this is… there are certain constants. Things that happen, again and again. I have memories of Pinkie being very, very happy with Rarity. But those form such a miniscule minority. You and AJ though? That’s just a given. It’s there. Always has been, always will be.” I was not sure how much thought Rainbow had ever put into topics like ‘fate versus free will’ and I was somewhat certain that even if she suddenly found interest in it, it would not take long until its philosophical nature would bore her to death. But right now, I enjoyed seeing her fancy the idea of them being ‘meant for each other’.

It was more complex than that of course. It always was.

Rainbow knew what I thought Rainbow had to know for now. It was enough. There was still one thing left though. A personal matter. “Oh and yes, we were buddies. I don’t exactly expect you to fall head over heels for another friend of the ‘weird’ variety. But maybe, once the dust has settled, we could play some horseshoes? Or go for a drink? I think you might have a couple halfway decent stories to tell.”

She looked over to me with a certain caution I could not fault her for. It had been difficult so far and I had no reason to believe that it would get any easier: Explaining why I knew things, and why I was so intent on gaining certain friendships. Lucky for me, Rainbow was rather straightforward and easy to deal with for the most part. “Maybe,” she said and thereby at least gave me a chance. Then she patted the bed beside her. “Move your ass, slacker. And remember — I’ll kick you if you touch me!” Her threat was accompanied by an almost daring grin.

“Duly noted. Again,” I replied with a smile and walked over while she settled down. Once I was beside her, with a proper distance remaining of course, I started explaining a couple of things before Rainbow came into direct contact with them. Because all of my memories almost screamed at me that once in the dreamscape, I would have a hard time getting enough of her attention to explain anything then and there. “Right, so. I’m going to charge the spell, touch your head with my horn and we’ll sleep. We will awake in a different realm. It will probably look like the night sky. It’s actually quite beautiful.” She mock-gagged and I made a mental note to remind her of that when we got there. “There will be a lot of big bubbles floating about. Those are dreams. Don’t touch them, they are very delicate. If they burst, the dreamer wakes up, so it’s not the end of the world, but it’s… you just shouldn’t. Second important thing: There might be creatures there. They appear as animals or beasts made out of light. I saw a rat before and Twilight and I faced a pack of what she perceived to be timberwolves while I saw regular wolves. Their appearance isn’t really… well, ‘real’. Keep in mind that, what you see there, is your mind attempting to make sense of it. It’s trying to tell you what you should fear, and what should be relatively harmless. And the last thing before I bore you to sleep: In this realm, you don’t need to breathe, fly, walk or anything like that. You will probably do so, just because you’re used to it. So will I. Over there, it’s all about what you think. You can manifest weapons and armor, you can still feel pain and get hurt, you could grow a horn and cast spells — but all of that is your mind interacting with this realm's own set of laws. Since we are going to face Applejack in some capacity, I fully expect there to be a guardian that will try to stop us. It might come to pass that we need to fight it. Don’t let yourself get beat up — while you won’t take any physical wound with you when you wake up again, it will exhaust you. Possibly up to the point that you wake up and can’t lift a hoof. I would very much prefer for this not to happen, alright?”

I had studied her expression and its shifts as well as I could manage in order to gauge how much she actually listened and which parts she took away from my explanation — in hopes that I could course correct something if anything actually important got lost. It was a little disheartening to see her get bored so fast, but it was nothing I had not expected. A pain Twilight knew all too well and that we shared in. Rainbow did not deal well with lectures. What I did not see coming was the moment she turned to look at me, a cocky grin plastered on her face, and shortcut most of it. “Got it. No touchy, stay alert, be awesome. Can we start now? I’m kinda getting itchy. Also, has anypony ever told you that you can sound a heck of a lot like Twilight in lecture mode?”

I was left speechless for a couple of seconds and my jaw hung slightly agape. I fixed the latter first. “How can you just—… did I—…”

“I know, right?” she added without rhyme or reason and dared to wink at me. Why that cheeky little—

I shook my head and I had to laugh. “We’ll get along just fine,” I concluded more to myself than her before charging my horn and doing exactly what she had asked. Starting already.

“Woah, this looks awesome!” came Rainbows excited exclamation as soon as she set hoof in the dreamscape.

“Yupp,” I replied with a smug grin. “I can barely contain my gag reflex as well.”

“Hey, dude,” she started getting defensive, “you made it sound like some boring painting or something Rarity would fawn over. This is so much better! It’s so cool!”

I chuckled a little and shared her enthusiasm. “It is, isn’t it?” I quietly spoke to nopony in particular and once again took in the sight. I would never tire of its beauty. Or awesomeness, as Dash put it.

“So what’s next?” It had not taken her long to get bored. Or maybe she was not bored as much as she ‘had her fill’ and was ready to move on. Something I struggled with a lot more than she did.

But she had a fair point of course. We were here with an agenda. “First off, we’re going to try to tiptoe our way around without getting caught,” I carefully mumbled more to myself while I cautiously looked in all directions. I could see neither hide nor hair of Luna. A good start then. “This way.” Moving was not strictly necessary, just as I had told Rainbow. But on one hoof, it gave Twilight a little bit more time in case she needed it, and on the other, it might have helped Rainbow get accustomed to this realm a little more.

I did not waste too much time though before I randomly stopped, closed my eyes and concentrated on Applejack. Her orange coat, her — depending on the mood either adorable or sexy — freckles, her shining emerald eyes, her blond mane, usually bound by that red ribbon, her brown Stetson… the smell of apples and dirt and sweat and open air… I lifted my hoof once the image became clear enough and stomped it down onto the surface that was neither there nor absent. Once, twice, thrice. I felt the ripples under my hooves, heard the echo of it, and when I opened my eyes again, I saw her bubble a good distance away slowly closing in as if I had lassoed it. “Cool,” I heard Rainbow whisper. I almost wanted to laugh but I restrained myself. I had to focus on AJs dream to draw it closer. In Rainbow's vocabulary, everything seemed to be either ‘awesome’ or ‘cool’ if positive, or ‘mushy’ or ‘uncool’ if negative. While I did not possess the same rhetorical skills Twilight did, I was proud enough of my grip on the language to consider writing as a potential employment. Yet I found myself speechless and at a loss for words again and again. I wondered just a little bit how it must feel for Rainbow. She appeared to be completely satisfied with what she had. She did not mind calling things cool when they were beautiful. And while my first instinct was to assume that she had some form of a little translator in her head, on second thought, I did not support my own hypothesis. She really just was content with that.

I shook my head to free myself from my own musing when Applejack's dream reached us. “Now we get into the ‘touching things I told you not to touch’-stuff,” I explained and looked over at a suddenly very eager and interested Rainbow. Applejack's dream was a colorful display that right now and without further effort could not be deciphered. But the presence of color and vague shapes meant that she was sleeping already. Twilight had done her part. And probably still did as she kept watch over her.

I instructed Rainbow how to enter the dream. It did not want us there and tried to push us back as expected. I had to call out to Rainbow more than once to be careful, to push slowly, as bursting the dream by applying too much pressure would destroy our chances. She was annoyed but complied anyway — because we both knew what was on the line.

We finally managed to get in. It had taken considerably longer than with Rainbow's dream, funny enough.

“Wait, what?” Rainbow asked and looked around in confusion.

We stood at the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres. “We’re in,” I told her. “This is her dream. Keep your eyes and ears peeled, we do not want to run into Applejack herself. We’re aiming for the farmhouse. I have a feeling that she’s keeping secrets in the same place y—It’s probably in her room.” Slip of tongue. Bad, bad tongue! Rainbow did not seem to notice though. She still looked around and tried to find differences between reality and dream.

Applejack's subconsciousness did a great job to be honest. She knew every tree, every branch and leaf and wrinkle in its bark, every soft rolling hill in her orchard and the sound of every little stream crossing through it. She had lived in this place for almost all of her life and it was reflected here.

I started to trot along the dirt path that would ultimately lead to the house and Rainbow quickly fell in with me. “So if we already know where it is, why don’t I just… you know… fly up and crash through the window or something?”

“Because we don’t know,” I corrected her. “I assume. It seems likely to me. We have to look out for both Applejack and her guardian. Applejack we want to avoid as we really don’t have time to play along in whatever dream she is having and not doing so would risk making her aware of the dream’s nature, which in turn could mean she either wakes up or will at least remember our interference. We don’t want to get busted, so that’s a no-no. Her guardian might actually be helpful though. It will probably try to keep us away from whatever she’s hiding.”

It clicked for Rainbow. “So we find that and it’ll tell us where we want to go.”

I nodded and tried hard to ignore her wicked grin. Yes, we were searching for the one source of potential conflict here. We were asking, no, begging for trouble. And she was all for it of course.

As we passed row after row of trees, I started to notice the appearance of faces on them. As if the bark had grown in curious ways to form them. This being a dream, it would not have been all that strange to see them move and talk, but they did neither. They just stared at us. With very judgmental eyes. Maybe it was the guardian. Maybe it was a sign that Applejack was somewhat aware of our presence. With them not actually doing anything for now, I could not tell for sure. “We’re being watched,” Rainbow whispered. So she had noticed it as well.

I nodded. “Ignore them for now.” Maybe they would vanish. Maybe ignoring them would coax a more direct action. Either way, I was still betting on the house which by this point had come into view.

I stopped abruptly when I heard something. An almost ethereal gust of wind had carried with it the faintest noise of a whimper. And sobbing. Very, very quiet sobbing. My heart ached as I recognized it as Applejack. The memory of this exact noise from just a few days prior flooded my mind. I wanted to help her. I had so desperately wanted to help her back then… and I still did.

“Don’t,” I warned Rainbow as I noticed her wings slowly unfolding. “Remember what we are here for.” Maybe it was a decoy. I did not expect Applejack's guardian to be that devious though. So I was more inclined to think that it actually was Applejack. This made it harder and easier at the same time. We now knew roughly where she was. In what direction anyway. But we had to ignore her suffering.

“This sucks,” Rainbow grumbled.

“I know. It hurts hearing her like this and trying to ignore it. But that’s what we’re here for. To change that.” None of that made it any easier. She nodded anyway and forced a rather grim looking determination on her face.

We reached the farm house. Granny Smith's rocking chair sat on the porch, empty and unmoving. I had expected nothing else. I suspected we would not find any trace of Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom or Winona either. Because this was another nightmare. Maybe not a fully grown one quite yet, but this dream would inevitably become one. I opened the door. “Be careful. Doors, windows, portals like those have special meaning in dreams. If you pass through and suddenly find yourself somewhere else than you saw before or expected, don’t freak out.”

We both stepped in. I went after her, but we did just enter the farm house. Everything appeared to be normal. Except a lot darker. And when I turned to look outside, there was only a gaping black void. I quietly closed the door before Rainbow saw that and then turned to survey our surroundings. It was an almost uncanny déjà vu. The exact same scene I had found when Applejack and I had entered Rainbow's dream. It was obviously less weird finding the farmhouse in the farmer's dream, but still.

“Up the stairs,” I whispered as I fell back into old routines.

There was a quiet rustling to our left, from the living room. Rainbow tensed up immediately but kept her wings tight for now. I didn't even bat an eye this time — there would be nothing to see. The guardian was here and it was aware of us. It tried to lure us into the wrong rooms, sending us on a merry goose chase. But it would not face us just yet. Not when there was still a chance for us to leave or get lost.

We slowly made our way up the stairs and expected an ambush that just did not come. I looked over to the right once we reached the top. There it was. A single door at the end of the corridor. A short glimpse to the left told me that at least half the doors on this story were gone. Just non-existent. “Be prepared,” I whispered and slowly turned right.

I set a single step forward in that direction when in yet another déjà vu the darkness around us seemed to be drawn to a point in space before us and coalesced into a cloud of pitch black from which a pony-shape stepped forward. It was Applejack and yet it was not. Her coat had a darker tone, almost red. Her mane was a wild, untamed mess. Untold anger shone in her eyes and she bit down on the handle of a whip. My eyes trailed along her weapon, noticing sharp metal spikes woven into it. That sight made me wince a little.

“That’s not AJ,” I heard Rainbow half-ask, half-state.

“No. No it’s not. We need to get past it.” And with that we charged. Because what was planning good for if you did not know the first thing about the enemy you were about to fight anyway? In addition to that, I had my doubts that Applejack's guardian would just stand there and be content with glaring daggers at us.

Our first clash was quick and brutal. The whip cracked and tore wood apart as it hit the wall, missing Rainbow by a hair’s breadth. Rainbow could rely on her pegasus agility and reflexes, but the confined space we had to work with was clearly working against her. Knowing that I had neither Rainbow's speed, nor Applejack's strength, I had tried — and apparently failed — to draw the guardians’ attention to me. It attacking Rainbow with decent range meant that I came close enough for a swing though and I tried… for testing purposes, so to speak. I actually landed a good, solid hit and it appeared to do absolutely nothing. Yikes. Well, judging by the outraged look it shot in my direction, I had successfully enraged her further. After Rainbow had successfully evaded the whip, she dove down for a solid kick. The guardian turned around with surprising speed and struck out with both hind legs. A solid hit to the chest sent me flying back down the corridor and pressed any air out of my lungs. Rainbow landed not far away from me, reeling from a similar strike herself.

“Where had that come from…?” she wheezed.

“She’s quick,” I agreed and stood back up. Under any other circumstances, I would have smiled as I saw a few technicolor stripes glow in the guardian's mane. She channeled her inner Rainbow Dash. It would have been adorable, were it not for the issue that presented us with.

I did notice that there was no immediate follow up though. Not-Applejack could have used our setback to get up close and personal, get in a couple more kicks and punches or at least a whip attack, but she did none of that. She once more stood where she had appeared. A formidable bastion, unyielding and unfazed. Rainbow’s guardian had been a lot more aggressive once she entered combat. Given their respective personalities, that made sense.

When Rainbow tried to immediately go for it again as soon as she had stood up, I held her back. “Wait,” I asked. That short moment of pause was enough for her to notice the odd behavior as well. “We now know a little about what we’re dealing with. We need a plan. That whip has a decent reach but she has difficulties using it properly in here and can’t use it to its full extent. However, from the looks of it, it will hurt quite a bit if it actually connects. She’s strong and fast and as a guardian, she won’t grow tired. She’s not out to destroy us per se, but she will do anything to prevent us from our goal.”

“Maybe we can goad her or something?” Rainbow offered. Planning phases usually were not her strong suit and that was okay. She did give viable input though.

The inky black cloud she had appeared from was still there, obstructing the view to the back of the hallway. However, if I remembered correctly, there had been a window back there. If we could kick her out of that, maybe it would take her some precious seconds to return. “I have a plan. We charge, I fake, you push. Got it?”

Rainbow furrowed her brow. She looked between the guardian and me and then, for a short moment, behind the guardian. What bloomed on her face was the same cocky grin that made me groan so many times and filled me with confidence so many other times. “Got it. Don’t get yourself killed.”

I chuckled. “I’ll try.”

To the guardians’ obvious confusion, Rainbow turned and trotted back. Past the stairs to the left side of the hallway, right up to its end. Where she carefully positioned herself by pressing one back hoof against the wall and then used a little body tension to keep steady as she joined the other one. She flapped her wings to test out how wide she could spread them. Meanwhile I faced off with it to distract a little from what Rainbow was doing. I stomped my hoof on the floorboard and pawed at it before I lowered my head as if I were about to skewer it with my horn.

Lady Luck, smile upon me, I pleaded as I charged. I felt the whip graze my shoulder as I dodge to the left and screamed, “Now!” at the top of my lungs.

A hurricane got unleashed in that little wooden corridor. The air pressure shifted suddenly, I heard wood crack and splinter behind me as Rainbow pushed herself off with all she got. She flapped her wings as hard as she could and picked up as much speed as the admittedly short corridor allowed. She zipped past me in a blur of rainbow before I even reached the guardian myself and slammed into her shoulder first with all her strength and momentum to push the creature back. I ran at top speed in an attempt to catch up to them. If Rainbow's attack would be enough — that was great. But if it would take more than that, I would just ram into them, hoping that neither Rainbow nor I would just tumble out the window with the guardian.

It became apparent quite fast that we had misjudged. Slightly.

Surprised by the one-two-combo, the guardian actually moved. Rainbow managed to push her back a good amount, way past the door we needed, but then the guardian dug her hooves into the floorboards and just stopped dead in her tracks. Like the theoretically unmoving bastion that she was. “Problem,” Rainbow yelled.

“Move! The door!” I answered without thinking. I did not waver nor wait. I continued my charge right up. Rainbow moved out of the way just in time to not be included in any mess and was about to fly for the door when I slammed into the guardian and noticed how it — unaffected by what little force I had to contribute — readied its whip. “Duck!” I ordered but I was not willing to risk Rainbow getting hit. The whip swung wide and I bit down on it to sabotage its course. I felt a metal spike pierce through the roof of my mouth, the vile taste of blood filling it up.

I heard a lock burst open and saw the fury in the guardians’ eyes. “It’s open, come on!” I heard Rainbow yell.

The guardian was perfectly capable of following us there. I knew that. Rainbow probably did not. This is going to hurt a lot…, I thought to myself. “I’ll keep her busy, move!” I yelled and spat blood to the side. Rainbow being Rainbow, she was of course not about to just abandon me. But she wasn’t. Not in my mind anyway. I used my telekinesis and just shoved her in.

Next thing I knew, a hard hit sent me flying down the corridor once more. I saw doubles when I tried to get back up and noticed how not-Applejack was aiming for the opened door. “Heck no you won’t,” I growled and tackled her. She was more annoyed than anything, but I did manage to keep her busy once more by blocking her way.

She accepted for the moment that this would apparently be a close quarter combat, spat out the handle of the whip and bit down on my shoulder. Hard.

I cried out in pain as I really had not seen that one coming. I punched against the side of her head and aimed for her ears but she continued to barely seem affected by anything I was doing.

After a moment of wrestling, she somehow managed to get a grip on my back legs. Like a filly playing with a puppet, she flung me around and smashed me through a wooden wall. The initial impact felt awful. I heard cracks I really did not want to think about and when my head hit the wood, I was sure I had blacked out for a fraction of a second. I knew — mostly thanks to Dash — that in these newer, grittier stories, they described breaking a wall as something that was easily done and left little impact on the one being punched through it. I could not, in good conscience, agree with that depiction. I lay there for just a short moment, unable to breathe, to move a single limp, to focus my vision. Everything was just pain. And if that was not enough already, I felt several gashes all over my body. The splintering wood had scratched me up badly when I moved past the hole. And pieces of debris stuck in my flesh.

I knew that I did not have much time. This guardian in particular appeared to be a single-minded monstrosity. I had never known just how strong Applejacks will was. Now I slowly got the picture. Her willpower dwarfed mine by a lot.

But I still had to buy more time for Rainbow. How? I was in bad shape. Maybe I could muster enough willpower to go for one more round, but that was it. If I died here, the dream would end.

I then had an idea. A really stupid one, which made me cackle like the madpony I might have become. “Hey, Jacky,” I croaked. “Tired already?” What I tried to do would have been so much easier with Rainbow. But I knew that it was possible to taunt Applejack into doing something stupid. Rainbow did it on a regular basis and had almost made a sport out of it. “Sorry if I got blood on your stupid hat. Might look better that way though. Those things are so out of season.” I was still lying there and stared at the ceiling and I had no indication of my attempts actually working. I should change that. “I mean, gotta give you props though. A whip is suuuch a huge improvement over a lasso. Almost like eating with actual cutlery, you know?” Slowly and under much strain, I tried to stand up. I was pretty sure my back leg was broken, the angle did not look right. So I was careful not to put any weight on it. I rolled over to stand up. And of course I rolled into a lot of wooden splinters. But they were all over me anyway, embedded in me. It barely made a difference despite the pain trying to tell me otherwise. I tried to ignore the blood around me. I just had to look out for slippery parts of the floor.

Once I finally stood, I turned around and could not help but smile in satisfaction — and feel those goosebumps out of a very simple fear — when I saw Applejack standing beyond the hole. She looked in, pawed at the ground and sported so much intense anger that the word just did not seem appropriate anymore. “I’m more of a cherry pony, you know? But wanna know what the most disgusting, vile crap was to ever touch my tongue?”

There was a very, very desperate chuckle that wanted to get out when I saw that ‘don’t you dare’-look on her maddened face. I swallowed hard, closed my eyes for just a second and stared at her. I wanted to see that one coming.

“… apples.”

Her guardian had not spoken so far. In retrospect, I was not sure if it had made any vocal sound at all. But once I dared to utter that single word, she reared back and let out what could only be described as a war cry. She jumped through the hole in one fluid motion and was close to me before I could even blink. Her first strike dislocated my lower jaw. I could feel that. The second one cracked another rib or two. After I had collapsed to the ground again, they just kept coming. Like a punching bag, I took hit after hit. I could no longer tell what hurt where. It all just hurt. I tried with what little of my willpower remained to shelter myself. I contorted inwards.

The pain is not real, I told myself. Neither are any of these wounds. I understood the theoretical approach to ‘not accepting wounds’. Luna had explained it to me on more than one occasion. But I had never been able to pull my theoretical knowledge into practice. Because once it came down to it, the mind was usually hot-wired to react to external stimuli and unlearning those instincts took tremendous effort.

This time was not any different, much to my dismay.

It helped. Thinking about something else with all my might to distract my own mind helped. A little bit. Everything swam in pain. My whole world was pain. And then suddenly, it stopped. Not the pain itself of course. That was still very much there and would be until we left the dream. But the merciless onslaught had stopped. There were no new layers piling up on top of it all.

I dared to crack one eye open. Or at least I tried. I had to put in actual effort to see past the swelling. I saw no dark orange any longer. Had she realized my ruse? Was she after Rainbow now? I’m sorry, Dash. I tried…

“Woah, what happened here?” I heard Rainbows voice from the hallway. Oh. So that was why she was suddenly gone. Like in Rainbow's dream before, the cat had been out of the bag. No reason to defend something that was not secret any longer. I heard hoof steps closing in on the hole. Then a gasp. “Holy crap,” she uttered and climbed over the broken wood to get closer. “You… you still there?” she asked. Her voice sounded utterly terrified. She looked me over and searched for a spot that wasn’t a bloody pulp. And touched it. Very, very carefully. But that did not make any difference.

“Ow,” I tried to groan, but out came some form of gurgle.

“I-I… we… we gotta go get…” she started. I heard panic climbing up her voice. Get help? Yeah, no. If I actually were in the state I was in now, I was pretty sure I would have been a goner.

“Done?” I tried. But once more, I could hardly form any sounds at all. She must have kicked in my throat at some point. I tried to take in some breath only to feel my lungs fill with blood until the pain made me give up on that as well.

Right. I had no other option. She was back out, she was here, and I had to just assume that she was done. My horn, although it had been broken at some point, gave off a soft glow and we left the dream. I had no energy left for any style, so we were just unceremoniously dumped back out onto the ground beside Applejack’s bubble.

I was just lying there for a good moment while Rainbow stood up and walked over. She walked around me, once more carefully prodded me here and there. She was obviously searching for wounds I no longer bore. “That…! I'm never going to do that again,” I groaned and threw a warning glare in Rainbow's direction.

I heard her breathe a sigh of relief. “Holy Celestia, dude! Don’t do that! Like, ever again, you hear me? I thought she had killed you.”

I knew that despite no wounds to show for it, I was still very much in bad shape. I did not dare to try to stand up. If Rainbow saw how I struggled — and quite possibly failed and just tipped over —, she would potentially remember what I had told her about the consequences in this place. And right now, I did not want that. Because I was smart sometimes and had a bit of foresight. Twilight was with Applejack, sure. But she would return soon enough I assumed. And I really, really did not want her to see me like this. Not after I had made such a big deal out of being able to stand my ground and watch myself and whatnot.

“She kinda did,” I admitted. “Don’t think I would have survived if that had been real. Luckily, it wasn't.”

After another moment of her prodding me and looking me over, she finally sat down beside me. A few moments of peace and quiet. Yes please. “You didn’t give up, did you?” she asked.

Well. Peace at least. No quiet though. I sighed deeply and allowed myself a smile. It felt so good to be free of that world of pain. “I couldn’t. I had to come through for a friend, you see.”

She nodded and reciprocated my smile. “You might be alright.”

I laughed. Got her. And all it took me was me d—

Better not to dwell on it. “Might be, yeah.” We stayed quiet for a moment. Her wings ruffled every now and then, betraying her aversion to sitting still for too long. It was me who broke the silence this time. “So — you got it?” She cringed hard at that. “Please don’t tell me it was all for nothing…”

“No,” she hastily answered. “No it wasn’t. It’s just… I don’t think she would want me to tell you.”

Oh. Privacy and stuff. Right. That was a thing. As disappointed as I was, I could — and quite frankly, had to — accept that. “Alright.”

“She was cheated on,” came after a few seconds anyway.

That was one heck of a turn. A quick one too. Out of the corner of my eyes, I tried to read Dash’s expression. Something must have made her turn on her heel this quickly. She looked troubled. Uncertain. I recognized that look. She wanted to help, but couldn’t quite figure out how just yet. So I processed this new information.

Cheated on. Like… in a relationship? And it clicked.

She had, according to Rainbow, asked her if she had lost interest. Or found somepony else. When discussing the potential reason why Rainbow had supposedly dumped her, Applejack had not been convinced by what I, at the time, thought to be a very decent, reasonable explanation. Instead, she had asked me to leave, so she could think.

Really, AJ?

I had to admit, I was mildly annoyed once more. The simplest solution is often the correct one, I heard Twilight lecture me. Yes, thank you, Twilight.

“Want my advice?” I started after a moment.

She nodded with a little more enthusiasm than she had liked judging by how she grimaced immediately after. I had no intention of embarrassing her of course. Such fun could wait for later, when our friendship was a little stronger and more established. “You’ll need a nutcracker first. Something to open her back up to you. To make her listen. I know it’s ‘uncool’, but consider digging that song up from wherever you buried it. Take it, bring it to her and tell her about it. Tell her about the lessons, the practice, your intentions, your fears. It’s gonna suck, I know. Making the first step always does. But it proves to her that you actually care for her, and just how much. I think it has a good chance to make her listen. And… if she does… explain yourself. How you panicked. Why you panicked.” That actually made me think for a moment and I steered in a new direction. “Do you know what you want by now? Concerning the Wonderbolts? And her?”

She lowered her head a little. “Not really. I want her, but that’s about what I have.”

I carefully poked her shoulder and made her look up so she would actually see me smiling at her in what I hoped would be an encouraging way. “That’s good,” I proposed. “Because it means you haven’t gone ahead and decided everything by yourself. You two are a team, right? No captain needed. Talk to her. Ask her. What does she want for the both of you? Think about it. Do you feel comfortable with what she’s presenting you with? It’s a lot of mushy stuff, I know. But sorry to say, Dash — you’ll have to get through it this time. You two should decide together where you want to head. And I think with that solved, you’ll find it a lot easier to make decisions on the other part. Because you will then know what you’re working with.”

She was not exactly thrilled by the prospect, but I had apparently struck a chord as she nodded. “You sure your coat isn’t purple beneath that?”

After that beating? Maybe. I chuckled a little bit but spared any answer. “Ready to wake up?”

“Sure. It won’t be the middle of the night or something, right?”

“Honestly… I have no idea. Time is weird in this place.” I concentrated and led the two of us out, back into the waking world. When I cracked my eyes open, I was surprised to see rainbow. Her mane was right in front of my face as she had buried it on my chest and snuggled quite close to me. I grinned as she woke up.

“Hey! What’s wrong with you!” she yelled at me and just as she had promised, kicked me out of the bed. Just not out of the window. For which I was very grateful.

“If you take a look,” I offered from my new position on the cloud floor of her bedroom, “I was still lying where I had been at the start. You are the one moving all over the place while asleep. Apparently.”

“Am not!” she protested, only to stare at the bed like it was a traitorous thing. She stood up a moment later, walked to the edge of her bed and looked down to me. I was still lying around. “Uh… you okay there?”

“It’s a very comfy floor,” I remarked and slowly raised a hoof to pat it.

“Uh-huh.”

I allowed myself a weak smile. “Wanna know something funny?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Sure. Shoot.”

“It appears to me that we haven’t even been gone for long. Like… there would be plenty of time to get that sheet and fly over.” She quickly confirmed my observation by looking out the window herself and swallowed a forming lump in her throat the moment after. “You’re Rainbow Dash,” I continued. “The Rainbow Dash. You fly into a cave and kick a fully grown dragon right in the face. You wouldn’t back down from this challenge now, would you?” My teasing tone was enough to make her flare her wings in defiance. “Right. Good to know. Now… I don’t want you to carry me down, but maybe you could fly over, tell Twilight to come get me and then, you know… be there when Applejack wakes up from her little nap. Might actually make her a little more compliant, too.”

“Right,” she nodded and started rummaging through several drawers until she tucked something small under her wing. She was already at the window — because being a pegasus, why use doors if any opening might do the job? — when she turned and regarded first her room and then me with a warning glare. “If you touch anything, I’m gonna—“

“Kick my flank, I know, I know. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” She nodded with a little force, but then regarded me once more with something akin to worry. I had not moved a single inch since my ungraceful tumble to the floor. I could see her gears turning. Should she ask me again if I was alright? But then her other half imagined herself being in my position. Maybe she did remember what I had told her about the consequences now.

She thought better of it in the end and smiled. “Thanks, Dreamwalker. You’re okay.”

High praise indeed, I noted amused while she jumped out the window and headed off towards Sweet Apple Acres. Given her nervous state, she would not be flying at top speed. But she clearly had been worried about me and excited with the prospect of winning Applejack back, so she would not dally too much either. That gave me a couple of minutes to try to pull myself together. Because so far, I had barely been able to lift a single hoof. I sighed deeply and put in a little bit more effort. “To cite The Rainbow Dash,” I grumbled to myself, “this is going to suck.”

The process of trying to regain command over my own limbs — one at a time — felt weird and was going slowly. By the time I needed to have some semblance of success, I could proudly if shakily present just that. A flash of light, a pop and the smell of ozone announced Twilight's arrival. “Dreamwalker?”

Time to test myself. I carefully stood up. My knees wobbled, but with sheer force of will, I stopped my legs from trembling too much. “Over here,” I called. She looked confused for a second. Probably because she had immediately scanned the room on entrance and had not seen me. She walked around the bed to the other side. The side I had been lying around on, and stopped right before me, eyeing me rather critically. “I’m fine,” I tried to preempt her worry, “Just a little tired, is all.”

She wordlessly leaned forward and embraced me a brief moment later. In comparison to her warm neck, I suddenly felt cold. Maybe I was? I did remember that spell she had put on me, to brace me against the lower temperatures that would be up here, but I had not noticed anything quite yet. Maybe that was it.

Maybe.

I just wished I could embrace her as well, but I dearly needed my hooves on the ground to prevent myself from collapsing. I pushed those thoughts aside, I inhaled deeply and tried to hide that pesky shudder. I loved that smell. It reminded me of home and filled my heart with warmth every time. “This is nice,” I whispered without thinking.

She giggled, but worry returned immediately. “Are you sure that you are alright?” she questioned me.

“We ran into a little bit of a roadblock with Applejack's guardian. Remind me to never mess with her again if I try.” Despite my best attempts to not dwell on it, I still felt my lower jaw hang in an angle that it really should not. I still felt my throat being tight enough to not let air pass through. I shook my head to clear it a little.

“I will,” she promised and pulled back. “Rainbow came over to ‘relieve me of my watch duty’. She told me to get you out of here before you started snooping around. She… she sounded worried.”

“Of course she did,” I remarked in perfect seriousness. “She would be furious if I found that drawer with all her toys, if you know what I mean.” Waggling my eyebrows used a lot less energy than other gestures might have. And that small grin I spared was enough to distract Twilight for the moment. She blushed a little and shook her head.

“We should leave,” she just concluded and looked around with a sudden apprehension. There were things she really did not want to know about her friends. And I was clearly toying with her. Maybe such a drawer existed, maybe not?

When her horn flashed, I took it as a warning and braced myself. And it did not help once again. We arrived at the ground below Rainbow's house and I immediately vomited whatever had been in my stomach to begin with. And a little more for good measure. I heard her ramble on about how sorry she was while she kept close to me and carefully stroked a hoof along my back. “It’s fine,” I tried to say in between retching. “Just a squeamish stomach.”

After a minute or three, I was done. Hopefully. She conjured some water — I did not know nor question from where — so that I could get rid of the awful taste. “Thank you.” I inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly and had a good explanation for my wobbling legs. “Could you do me a favor, Twilight?”

“Of course!” she hastily replied. She still felt guilty because of that teleport-fiasco. I would have loved to rid her of it, I just couldn’t right now.

“Everything is out in the open now. Wounds can heal, words can be had. They should be fine. At least for a while, until they somehow manage to butt heads with one another about something else again.” And indeed, it felt like my involvement was over, at least for the moment. Considering how smoothly things had gone with Pinkie and Fluttershy, I was very grateful for this mess to be sorted out. Hopefully sorted out, I reminded myself. It was not over until it was over. But I was optimistic that Rainbow would make it. They were meant for each other, after all.

My little rant obviously contained little in terms of asking a favor. That was why Twilight still looked at me expectantly. “I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And I’d like some time to process that whole mess, if that’s alright with you? I think I’m just going to go for a walk. That sounds nice actually. I’ll be home for dinner, I promise.”

There it was. Please leave me. As soon as she understood, her ears splayed back against her head. But she did not take it personally, for which I was so very grateful. Maybe my reasoning made sense. I felt guilty lying to her of course. I loved Twilight. Sending her away was not easy for me. Her presence usually made everything better and I suspected that, if I gave it a chance, it might this time as well. But I dreaded it so much — I dreaded her realizing just how much this had taken out of me. I did not, really did not, want to worry her any further than she already was.

“Are you sure?” she asked with no small amount of caution in her voice. “I could just teleport us back to the castle. You could lie down on the sofa. I... I could get you some juice.”

I smiled and nodded. “I know. But yes, I’m sure. It’s just a walk, don’t worry.”

She hesitated a little longer before she nodded once more and withdrew. I battled my immediate regret and any impulse that wanted to take back what I had said until she was gone with another blinding flash. I looked around. Nopony was in sight. I looked down at my own trembling legs. “Come on, guys. Just a little further and you’ll have some rest — I promise.” My own legs did not answer, of course. And neither did they stop trembling. But as I walked along the path, they at least did not immediately fail me either.

It took me way longer than I cared to admit to basically crawl my way back into Ponyville and back to that little lake. I stood on its shore once again and looked around. A sigh of relief escaped my throat. Nopony seemed to mind me much. Perfect.

As soon as I let my willpower slip the tiniest bit, my entire body just collapsed. I slumped down like a puppet whose strings were cut. I watched the water softly ripple when the wind caressed its surface. It was pretty. And I slowly realized that I would be lying here for a good long while. And I was not sure if I would be able to keep my promise.

My eyelids felt heavy. So I let them sink shut. I heard the hustle and bustle of Ponyville. Of the many, many ponies I cherished. In that town I loved. My heart ached just a little bit. Its beat was steady. And slow. And steadily slowing. I would miss—

I heard a soft whoosh in the air. Even softer steps as a pegasus landed nearby. A smile tugged at my lips. “Hey Sunny,” I croaked. My voice strained to be heard at all. I felt like I was sinking. While lying on solid ground. It was the weirdest sensation. I did not quite feel the dirt under me any longer, or the grass tickling my belly. I did not feel the sun's warmth on my coat anymore. Or hear the wind.

“Stay with me,” I heard her voice. Soothing. Pleading. A little tingle under my skin told me of magic being cast nearby. And a second later, I felt warmth flood my body. It was pleasant, so very pleasant. After that came the feathers. She must have put her wing over me. It was nice. Warm and cozy. I could stay here, I mused. I could stay right here, with her, and be content. Happy, even.

My mind was spiraling down into the abyss and lost soon after.

“Be not afraid. And doth not tryeth to flee. Please.”

I blinked. How long had I been here already? I could not tell. But I blinked. And with that, I was back. I was aware again. I had expected Luna's voice to be a little bit more booming, like she usually was. But then again, I could hear how she tried to restrain herself.

I looked down and noted with some satisfaction that I could move my head around. I was obviously in the dreamscape. The endless, beautiful night sky stretched in all directions as far as the eye could see. With shimmering little bubbles floating about.

I slowly turned to Luna. And I did not just crane my neck. I just awkwardly shuffled around without standing up. She looked as beautiful and ethereal as her night sky. She had put away the armor and impressive weaponry for this meeting, it seemed. And after a moment of me giving no indication of flight impulse, she sat down on her haunches as well. “T’is timeth yond we talketh.”

“You’re speaking Old Equestrian again,” I remarked. My voice sounded weird. It surprised me.

She nodded. “My apologies, Dreamwalker. We simply wished to state that we need to have a conversation.” After I gave no reply and just looked at her, she cleared her throat and continued. “You have been most foolish earlier today, and because of your actions, you have almost perished.” I was pretty sure that she was exaggerating. It had not been that bad. “But,” she continued on, “that has been fixed. You still have a lot to learn and our sister has been kind enough to… open our eyes to the fact that, without guidance, it will be quite dangerous. We had asked you not to dreamwalk again, yet you did so anyway.”

“My friend needed help,” I heard myself reply.

She raised an eyebrow. “And thus you would deny us? A Princess of Equestria?”

I thought about it for just a moment and nodded. But I felt like I should say at least something to my defense. “You asked,” I remembered Twilight saying. “You did not forbid me.”

A huff of frustration. She looked cute. “T’is a technicality!” she exclaimed. It took her a moment to calm herself down. “While your loyalty is appreciated, our sister was right. You need guidance.”

I was starting to feel a little bit more like myself, despite being myself already, with each passing moment. “And you need assistance,” I offered. Right now, that made perfect sense. "I like what you did with this place. It's pretty. Like you."

She huffed again and chose to ignore the latter parts of my answer. “We are perfectly capable of handling our own duties and realm!” she insisted. I had hit a sore spot, it seemed. Probably something Celestia had told her as well. Then again, was any of that a surprise? Celestia had ruled Equestria for a thousand years after her sisters’ banishment. She had had enough time to realize how important delegating tasks was. She had a small swarm of personal assistants and the entire castle staff at her disposal. Since Luna's return, who had the Princess of the Night instated?

“I saw Celestia's dream,” I countered. My voice remained calm and steady.

Luna's conviction wavered. “T’is true that there are things that we cannot deal with right now.”

“We could,” I offered. I lifted a hoof to rub my temple. “That thing needs to be gone… like, yesterday. I cannot have her suffer like this.”

She clearly considered it. I was untrained. I acted based on knowledge I barely understood. But she had seen me fight and I suspected that there was potential to work with. I really hoped so anyway. But she shook her head after a moment. “We are getting sidetracked. We were told that you are still seeking employment. Is that correct?”

What a weird topic change. I furrowed my brow but nodded. It was true after all. “I have not decided in what direction I want to go yet. To be honest, thinking about it fills me with no small amount of choice paralysis. Even though my talents are few and far between.” But I remembered. I remembered callings from previous lives and they all vied for attention, for a revival.

“You sell yourself short, from what we were told.” Twilight’s letters. It was the only reasonable expla—

No. No, it's not.

“But we may be able to help you with your ‘choice paralysis’, amongst other things.”

“How?”

She seemed satisfied by the mere fact that I was not outright defying her again. “We have made arrangements for your enlistment in our night guard.”

I wished I had water in my mouth so I could spit it out. I instead just coughed. “Come again?”

She furrowed her brow. “You have heard us loud and clear. Our sister was kind enough to work out some paperwork to create a new position in our guard. You will not be part of the regular guard and will be at our direct command only, but you will need to be trained properly. You will work ‘under us’, is the term as we understand?”

I could not help but grin a little lopsided. “I remember being quite satisfied with that position previously,” I joked. But much to my dismay, that joke was utterly wasted as she only stared at me in confusion. Before she could remark on it, I hastily added, “No, as far as I remember, I have never been part of the night guard. It was just a stupid and immature joke. I’m sorry.”

“Immature?” she echoed and mulled it over again. She suddenly giggled. “I see. We think that would be most uncomfortable for you — we are heavier than you.”

It felt nice. Her giggle, that stupid, half-wasted joke… it was the first time we actually managed to break the ice. Get away from the formality of it all. “You really want me to be part of your guard?” I asked, still a little incredulous. She nodded and that gave me something to think about. As I did not mind sharing my thoughts, I spoke aloud for at least some of them. “I never saw myself as part of the military. And to be honest, I don’t think I would fit in. If you had offered me a regular place, it would have been easier. I could have refused right here and now.”

“Our sister assumed as much,” she replied.

“Luna?” There was something that was bothering me. Something that kept that distance up and I felt it was unnecessary.

“Yes?”

“I know you don’t give two horseshoes about ponies addressing you with your title. But could you maybe drop the royal ‘we’? Please? I… it just feels… weird. Having you be this formal with me. I remember lives where we were married and while that probably won’t be the case this time, I at least would like to treat you as a friend and would love for you to do the same. If I really am to take this offer, it would make things a lot easier as well. For me anyway.” And there was the crux, was it not? She had any right to insist on her title. It was hers after all. As much as I had no right to deny her speaking in Old Equestrian or however else she liked. But I wanted this to work out. And Applejack was already nagging me again about being honest.

Luna seemed taken aback at first. But she considered my request and to my relief complied. “We will—I will try. To be honest, you are not the first pony to request such a thing of us. Me.”

“Twilight.”

She smiled at just how immediate that response had been. “Indeed. Fair Twilight felt much the same way you apparently do. My own sister does not mind, but she remembers the old days while most others do not.”

“So your offer — is that something I can think about? Or is it a ‘once in a lifetime’-decision I have to make right now?” I was rather uncomfortable with the idea that the latter might hold true. But Luna once again tried to accommodate me.

“You may take your time. From what I understand, you are sheltered and fed for now and have little use for the pay you would receive,” she explained. “I would only ask… and yes, I refuse to forbid you. I would only ask that you refrain from dreamwalking so long as our lessons have not started. It appears that you have been quite lucky so far, but you should not test that luck. It will run out eventually.”

I grinned. “Is it okay if I hug you?”

She hesitated but gave me a curt nod a moment later. “You may.”

I stood up on still slightly wobbly legs, walked those few steps separating us and embraced her. “Of course I will listen when Lady Luck speaks. I cannot make promises, but I’ll try. It’s what I do. I try a lot.” And fail? Maybe.

When I pulled back and sat back down, now significantly closer to her, she looked bemused. “It has been a long time since I heard that title.” I could almost see the nostalgia in her eyes. “So you will consider it?”

I nodded and took notice of her sigh of relief. “We always got along with each other splendidly and I have no doubt that we will this time as well. I don’t… I’m not sure if I will live up to the uniform. That’s one concern I have. And I’m not exactly looking forward to the harsh training. I’m ways off from physical peak performance. I know that and so far, I had no reason to care much. And I fear that the other recruits will… sooner or later, they will hear that I am somehow ‘special’. And I’m rather apprehensive of what reactions that will provoke.”

I could not tell how silly some of my worries were. But to her credit, she listened intently and took them seriously all the same. “I want you to take this offer, so let me try to disperse some of your worries. Your body might not be up to the task yet. But that is the easiest thing to fix. It can be trained. And you don’t have to worry too much about representing the night guard. Given the position I have in mind for you — one where we patrol the dreamscape and keep the dreamers safe and sound, fixing nightmares and disposing of those who would harm our subjects —, I doubt that you will be seen, or in fact needed, in official capacity much. As for the other recruits… I cannot make promises of course. It is always possible to have a rotten apple in the mix. But my night guard, being a decidedly smaller unit than my dear sister’s guard, has been a tightly knit unit defined by teamwork.”

It was the best she could do. I knew that. I could not expect her to just wash away all my worries of course. But I had a couple more concerns I wanted to share — and think about. “What about Twilight?” I asked and her expression shifted through several emotions before she reigned herself in. “Training will be in Canterlot, I presume. Won’t I be stationed there as well? Would I need to move into my own house? Leave Ponyville? Because… to be honest, I don’t think I’m willing to.”

She smiled. “It is true that, for several months at a time, you would need to come to Canterlot. If it pleases you, we could have a guest room in our wing prepared for you. Or you could sleep in the barracks with the other recruits, if you so choose. But once you have finished your training, I see no reason to keep you in the capitol. Your tasks and responsibilities would not require it. In fact, I would very much prefer for you to stay with Twilight. I have offered her on several occasions to lend her a small retinue of my guards for safety reasons, but she refuses every time. She is of the opinion that having guards stationed at her castle would make her appear less approachable to the public. But you already live with her and she considers you a dear friend. Having you with her, trained to defend her if necessity arose, would ease some of my own worries.”

I chuckled a little. She clearly had given this a lot of thought. Or maybe, Celestia had. Or both. Still, the thought of leaving for such long periods did not exactly sit well with me. That gave me another idea though. One I wanted to talk with Twilight about.

I turned my attention back to Luna. “Thank you. I think I have what I need to make up my mind.”

Her crystal clear laughter stopped me dead in my answer. After her amusement had subsided, she shook her head. “You are not even going to ask?”

“Ask what?” I replied in confusion.

“About the compensation?” she offered.

That was such a weird thought. “No, of course not. Why would it matter? We have already established that I am perfectly comfy where I am. I have little use for it. Whatever you pay will surely be more than enough for what I need. The most this income will do is allow me to spoil all of you rotten.”

She laughed once more. “Me included?” she asked and after I nodded without hesitation, she giggled a little. “Maybe I should raise your compensation, then.”

Thinking about payment. Pch. Silly Luna. “Talking about ‘spoiling my friends’, though,” I started to switch topics. “You haven’t asked Twilight out on a date yet. Any particular reason?”

Now it was my turn to laugh uproariously as her dark blue coat flushed with red and she spluttered several miserably failing attempts to deflect and defend herself. As far as I remembered, she was no Celestia in regards to her calmness, but it wasn’t all that easy to unbalance her like this. I was almost proud of myself.

“We… We didst not knoweth yond the lady hadst any intentions,” she immediately reverted back to her comfort zone as soon as she had calmed down enough to talk at all. For my part, I just looked at her and waited. “What?” she finally asked.

I rubbed my neck in faux uncertainty. “Well, I mean… you’re talking crap right now and we both know it, so I thought I just wait until you try something more believable?” My barely hidden grin might have spoiled the show, but she huffed in dissatisfaction nonetheless. “Adding to that, your answer doesn’t even make all that much sense to begin with. I mean, you basically just said that you haven’t attempted to date her because you didn’t know that she felt something romantic for you. That’s really not how this works. And for a mare with your record, you should know better.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” she honed in on the potential insult.

I shrugged with a grin. “Talking from experience: You are a passionate mare. And you don’t keep yourself closed off like your sister does. Now please. Don’t deflect. I want to help you.”

She tried to keep alive what little anger she had amassed, but it failed. A quiet sigh later and she looked me over once more. “Because we are friends?” she asked.

Of course Luna would be cautious. Just like everypony else had been. “Because I would like to be your friend, yes. And I would like you to be my friend as well. Hm. Then again… even if that would not work out, I’d probably try to help anyway. For Twilight's sake. And even if that was out of the calculation, I’d still do it. Because I know that it will be good for both of you.”

She chuckled a little. “Maybe I err in recruiting you for myself after all,” she mused.

“Please don’t tell Cadance,” I quickly pleaded.

I had her laughing once more. “Dear Dreamwalker, you seem to think that we don’t notice what is right under our noses. Our niece has been informed of you at the earliest opportunity. She had little reason to care beside her concerns for Twilight until you started to meddle in her domain and believe you me, if she were not so swamped with her duties in her empire, she would have visited a good while ago. As it stands and from what I am aware of, it is mostly due to Twilight and my dear sister that she does not shirk her duties.”

While Luna was more than just amused by my apparent naivety, her words gave me three details. First off, that the Crystal Empire apparently was a thing here. This meant that I could cross that from my to-do-list and that Cadance was a good distance away for now. The thought of her just standing in front of the door one day — as she was prone to do — scared the heck out of me. Just another meeting I was still trying to put off.

Secondly, Twilight apparently had been a lot busier than I had noticed. I actually started to wonder if she had been dutifully writing her weekly reports to Celestia this entire time. I had been here for almost two weeks now…

And the grating third revelation was that, despite me appreciating and sharing in Luna's enjoyment, she once more had tried to switch topics. So I let her enjoy it a little more until I tried once again. “You know… it’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it. Really, it is. I’m basically a stranger to you, no matter what I tell you and if you don’t feel comfortable with discussing this with me, that’s fine. Just… please tell me? So I won’t try to press you further?”

Her smile faltered and after a moment, her ears splayed back against her head. “We… I don’t know how,” she confessed in a startlingly fragile voice so full of uncertainty.

I was taken aback and just looked at her. She was a power to be reckoned with. She was thunder and lightning. Wild, untamable, powerful. She was the Mistress of the Night. And right now, she looked just as lost as I felt from time to time. “Why?” I asked and tried to put as much care into my voice as I could possibly convey.

She tried to steel herself, but the attempt ended in a sigh. “We are simply overwhelmed. We… I tried to get a grip on what has changed. In my time, courting was very different.”

I furrowed my brow. The time displacement was a problem, sure. But she had been back for a while now. Several years, in fact. Being a slow learner myself, I could perfectly understand that some things took time. But from what I knew, they had hit it off the first Nightmare Night. And there had been several of those so far. “Have you talked to Cadance?” It was the first obvious place to seek help after all. Cadance was swamped with letters seeking her counsel each and every day and she took great care — and pride — in answering them. Surely she would have some good pointers for Luna as well?

But the problem became apparent as soon as I spoke. Her beautiful eyes widened in what resembled horror. “No!” she almost cried. “No… we cannot… I mean, I can’t— I can’t. She is not only Twilight's old foal sitter and wife to her brother. She is the Princess of Love! She gets… excited. You have no idea how she is when she is excited!” A visible shudder ran down her spine and her wings rustled in agitation.

Right. I had to fight to keep that chuckle down. She apparently feared Cadance’s enthusiasm just as much as I did. "Oh don't worry, I do remember her," I replied with a smirk. "So what did you do instead?"

“I have tried to consult with present day literature, but these ‘magazines’ are all stating different approaches and rules and contradict each other.” Oh boy. I did not need to know any names of her ‘literature’. I understood perfectly well without. It also meant that she was wary to ask her sister as well. Probably because talking about romantic pursuits felt awkward? Or maybe she just did not want to involve Twilight's former teacher and maybe even surrogate mother. “This ‘dating’, as it apparently is called now, is… confusing at best.”

I could not disagree with that sentiment. But after giving it some thought, I smiled as I had found a silver lining. “Then don’t,” I started and earned a very confused look from her. “Don’t date, I mean.” My clarification still did little, so I elaborated. “We both know Twilight, right? And as far as I know, you have been over to visit Twilight for a couple of days after the actual Nightmare Night was over, each year, every year. Have you been to her bedroom? Or talked to Celestia about what she’s studying? Because half the time, she seems to have her nose buried in a book about the ancient past. She studied the music theory of your time. She studied general history. She studied Old Equestrian and mannerisms just to get a better grip on you and to better understand you. Sooo… what do you think? How likely is it that, if you were to start courting her, she’d recognize it as such? Because I have seen those book piles on her table and I’m not so sure that she hasn’t been looking for signs.” It was easy, really. She was not comfortable with ‘dating’ — and that was fine. She was however very intent on winning Twilight over. That much had become clear enough. So why not stick to the ways that she was comfortable with and that would get her to her goal on a different path?

My smile grew according to my satisfaction as I saw the revelation dawn on her face. She had missed the forest for the trees. I honestly understood that perfectly well. I was prone to do that myself on occasion. “You just have to keep an open mind,” I continued belatedly as I remembered the little nudge I gave Twilight. “Because quite frankly, after all this time, I would not be surprised if Twilight grew a little impatient with you. Might be that she’s starting to court you, which would be all fine and dandy, but it could also be that she’s trying to date you. With the stuff you’ve read, you should be able to tell. Though to be perfectly honest… those ‘magazines’ are probably trash.”

She laughed once more and I quickly chimed in. “T’is what I told Tia as well!” she replied and grinned. Hm. Interesting detail. So she had spoken with Celestia about romance in some capacity.

With both our smiles slowly receding, silence fell over our little area. It was not uncomfortable. We just had things to work out and think about. Both of us. She was probably trying to formulate a plan of attack for courting Twilight, and I…

I knew that I should be thinking about becoming a night guard. I had to admit, they had really good looking uniforms. And not becoming part of the actual military force somewhat eased my apprehension. Enough that the decision had already been made, if I was honest with myself. It was too good of an arrangement, too much of an opportunity to not take it. Working with Luna. Staying with Twilight. Getting bits for doing what I had basically planned to do anyway. It even sounded a little bit too good to be true.

No. What really kept me thinking was Twilight. She had been worried and I now remembered with an uncomfortable clarity the events that had transpired after our exit from Rainbows house. I had sent her away. And collapsed shortly after. With those darn silver bands still sending aaaall the data to her. I had tried to ease her worry, but she had every right to be worried. I had promised not to lie to her. And then turned around and told her that I was fine.

I had messed up big time. Simple as that. A deep sigh escaped me.

Luna walked over, sat down beside me and put a wing around me. It was nice of her to offer me shelter. I leaned against her without a word.

“What troubles you?” she asked after growing impatient.

“I’m afraid,” I heard myself say. I had difficulties thinking straight. Sorting out what it was that I felt. There was a lot of chaos. Again. Anger played a big part in it. I was so angry with myself. At the same time, apprehension. What would her reaction be? Would she be mad? Disappointed? A tiny voice even dared to ask: What if this was how I would lose her?

“Of what?” she continued.

Of Twilight. It was my first instinct, my first answer. But I thought better of it. I was not afraid of Twilight herself. “I’m afraid that I hurt Twilight.” That sounded right. Because on second thought, even though it had only been such a short time, I was not even afraid of losing Twilight. I was afraid of hurting her.

It took her a moment to respond. She craned her neck and noticed the metal bands my dream reflection was still wearing. Thinking back to the rather vivid exchange of letters she had had that day with Twilight, she put one and one together.

“I… she had asked me not to lie to her… and I had sent her away… and told her that I was fine…” I choked on my own words. Getting it out made me feel even more horrible. I had betrayed her trust.

“You probably have,” Luna agreed in a soothingly calm voice. Her tone was in stark contrast to her words. They hurt. But she had been the Element of Honesty once. What had I expected? I knew her. She continued after a deep sigh. “What has been done cannot be undone. No amount of apologies, gifts or distractions will change that.” There had been a lot of potential ways to sidestep the issue. And with just a single sentence, Luna had closed off most of them without effort. They were dead ends of course. I had known that deep down. Using any of them would only have made it worse. I was thankful, and at the same time disgruntled.

“An apology might still be a good start though, right?” I asked with desperate hope.

“Maybe,” she half-agreed. “You caused her pain. Face that. And learn from it. And let her know that you have learned. This grave mistake of yours means nothing if she cannot be certain that you will do better in the future.” I had to think back to the start of our conversation. How Luna had reprimanded me for my recklessness. How she had once more asked me to refrain from dreamwalking.

I would not stop. I could not. But maybe she was right. Maybe I could wait. Until I was better prepared. “Thank you, Luna.”

She raised a hoof and lightly tapped the ground. Once, twice, thrice. The lazy swirling dance of dream bubbles surrounding us was interrupted when a single one of them closed in on us. “You are very welcome… friend,” she said and used her hoof to raise my chin. I saw a gray swirl in that dream and felt an immediate connection to it. Because it was mine. “I will make sure that you remember this conversation to its fullest extent. Now go and dream. If you wish to right what went wrong, you will have to be able to walk on your own. Rest now and let your imagination soothe your pain. I will make sure that no nightmare shall trouble you.”

I embraced her. Pressed myself against her with force and nestled into the crook of her neck. She was so nice to me. Each and every time. And I felt rotten, undeserving of that friendship she so casually accepted. And offered. Her magic gripped me and a mere moment later, without much force, carefully levitated me towards the dream. There was no resistance as I sunk into it. And my consciousness drifted off, back to that moment when I felt so much relief hearing Sunny’s voice, hearing her land nearby, feeling her downy wing all over me…

I woke up feeling like Applejack had run me over with her cart.

But it was admittedly not all bad. I was warm. Cozy even. Due to Sunny’s wing still covering me like a blanket. I wanted to snuggle up a little closer when I started to notice details I had not anticipated. First off, given how perceptive she usually was, I had somehow expected her to notice me waking up the very second I did so. Maybe she had, but she did not address me in any way. I concentrated on my hearing as I let my eyelids fall shut again. My ears swiveled. I could hear other ponies way off in the distance. I heard wind rustle leaves in the nearby trees. I heard birds chirp overhead. But that all faded into the background as the most prevalent sound was her labored breathing. That was odd.

Once I cracked my eyes open again, I took a second to inspect her as best as I could from my position. I was still lying on my side with her pressed against me and her wing draped over me. But I did notice that she sported a heavy blush. She stared ahead at the lake in front of us. She was so obviously distracted by something—

And that was the moment it hit me. A light breeze hit my nostrils and they flared as I noticed it carried the scent of her arousal. And I was lying close enough that I could feel her coat being slightly sticky. Despite better knowledge, I really hoped Luna had shirked her duties and this would just turn out to be a nightmare. Just what had happened here? The familiar throbbing I usually felt with my member standing at attention just wasn’t there. It was in its sheath, where it belonged. But something obviously had happened.

I wracked my brain but the only answer I came up with… was a tiny snippet of the dream I had. A dream centered around Sunny. And it might not have been appropriate at all. So a wet dream then? Maybe this was the offset. Luna had remarked on my luck so far and how it would eventually run out. I had maneuvered myself into awkward situations in the past, Bad ones too, innuendo included. Was this some kind of ‘payment’ then? A toll?

Her scent clouded my thoughts every time it hit me. It was just so intoxicating.

Given her usual composure and perceptiveness, I could only take a wild guess just how much this must trouble her. I found myself asking: Could she stand? Walk? Fly?

My gaze drifted a few feet away. The lake was nearby. And nopony was around right now, as far as my ears could tell. Some cold water to wash away the sins then? But something bothered me, kept me from following up on that thought. It took me a moment to coax myself into giving up the necessary information. My mind drifted back to Twilight, to the night before, and I realized — with a groan that I had very much difficulty keeping down — that I wanted her to be a mess. My mess. I involuntarily thought back to Fluttershy's cottage and our unbridled flirting. To her alluring bedroom eyes and how much I wanted her then. And had she not claimed to be up for it?

But at the same time, my mind had to barely graze the thought of Twilight and my guilty conscience returned with a vengeance. Torn between feeling horny as can be and feeling bad for mistakes made — that really was a conflict I had no need for right now.

I looked her over once more. Her sublime features. My eyes traced down from her ears stiffly standing at attention to her lower jaw, along her neck and over her shoulders, sporting those beautiful wings. Down to a shapely rump and a tightly tucked in tail that swished just the tiniest bit on the odd occasion.

Buck it.

Before my inner Applejack or Fluttershy could get any funny ideas about reminding me of previous lessons, I decided to be proactive. I had considered opening with a stupid joke along the lines of ‘Did somepony see the driver of that cart?’ or something, but despite things already being bad in that regard, I wanted this to have at least a modicum of gravitas. “Sunny?” I simply addressed her.

She tensed up immediately. Even more so as I softly put a hoof to her side. For a few seconds, she did not move at all. When she finally turned her head I could see just how bothered she was. I had the strange feeling that we were both about to apologize. Maybe she saw that I had noticed her state. So I acted quickly. I did not want to hear a single word from her — not if it was an apology. This was my mess after all. Literally. I had caused this stupid situation. I still did not know with certainty what had caused her state, but I liked to think that in some way, it had been me. I actually hoped so.

She could have gone. At any point. Nothing was stopping her from just leaving.

“Thank you,” I whispered and slowly trailed my hoof along her side, down to her haunches. I pulled her in with my other hoof. There was still a mighty chance that I just misread the situation of course. Misinterpreted the signs. It would not have been a first.

No apologies, was the primary goal — but I was not about to deny her some precious seconds to decide if she wanted to let happen what was about to happen. Yet she did not pull back. She did not lift her wing or even loosen its grip. She still held me close and tight. She did not take flight or object, neither with words nor sounds or any other gesture. She just sat there and stared at me in a mixture of apprehension and panic and excitement and fear and anticipation and surely a lot more that I could barely read in these beautiful eyes as I slowly pulled her towards me.

I let my hoof slip under her tail the very moment before our lips connected. She gasped and immediately went silent. Her inner tights were basically drenched. She had been enduring this for some time, it seemed. The initiative was almost entirely on my part at first. I kissed her. I carefully applied a little bit more pressure with my hoof. And in the back of my mind, a nagging voice was questioning me. Everything I did. And my motives for it.

The voice grew a little quieter once Sunny actually kissed me back. And she looked so grateful as she moaned into me, only for the sound being quieted down considerably. It was obviously a risky game we were playing. It was becoming late, so there were not as many ponies around as before, but the danger of being spotted was still there and I tried to help her keep the façade of decency intact, but I was not sure how consistently successful that would remain.

Sunny broke the kiss. I was not sure what to expect from that but I certainly did not expect her to bite down on my neck. My mind drew an immediate connection to my ‘fight’ with Applejack, but this was different. She tried to use as little force as possible, but I still expected there to be a mark of some kind. A little soreness at least. I understood why as she started to quietly whimper in her attempts to keep herself silent. I doubled down on my efforts. Her breathing hitched and a moment later, her restraint slipped. I grimaced as it took a little effort to push past the immediate spike of pain when she doubled down.

Even with her biting down on my neck I was decently sure that anypony even remotely close by could hear her keening wail as she lost it and the first tremors started to rock her body. All that remained of her self-control was required to keep her wings from proudly snapping open.

At this point, the tiny voice told me in no uncertain terms that everything more was utterly unnecessary. Yet I found myself admiring her too much in her current state to just simply stop and consider this ‘done’. I slowly continued to move my hoof and watched her body language closely as I extended her climax as long as I could until finally, the tremors shaking her body started to subside and I pulled my hoof back. She was breathing hard against my neck. Her hot breath came in shuddering bursts straight against my neck and it all felt and sounded amazing. But I pushed that desire for more back down. This was still neither the time nor the place. It hadn’t been to begin with. This had just been… an emergency solution. I had helped her out. Right?

What a stupid excuse, I chided myself. It was doing her a disservice. And myself. I liked her. A lot. And there was no shame in admitting that I wanted her as well. I had been pretty sure that she liked me too and this seemed to only further cement this assumption. I had not been so sure about her desires, as sympathy and desire did not necessarily go hoof in hoof. But right now, I felt like that might have been cleared up as well.

“Are you okay?” I quietly asked.

“It has been a long, long time, just… give me a moment,” she replied with her voice still quaking. I nodded and did just that. I waited. She sounded a little more in control after a deep sigh. “I… am sorry, that… must have hurt…” Her gaze lingered on my neck. I obviously could not see how bad it was.

I was about to curse because all my efforts in avoiding any of us apologizing to each other seemed null and void. Ah. The bite mark. I gave a quiet chuckle. “That’s quite alright. It was… hm. It was nice.”

“Nice?” she echoed incredulously.

I had not noticed the heat rising into my face up to the points of my ears before, but became quite aware of it now as it intensified a little more. Now how was I supposed to explain that? In all honesty, it was a myriad of little reasons and most of them were difficult to put to words.

Despite me not having any issues remembering her, this would be something I cherished because it would remind me of her every time I noticed somepony staring at it or mentioning it. Or whenever I walked by a mirror. Or absentmindedly brushed a hoof over it only for it to hurt ever so slightly. And I would remember this moment. When I had made her feel good enough to let loose. Or lose control involuntarily — either was fine with me right now.

It was a mark too. In more than just the physical sense of it. It marked me as hers and mulling that sentiment over in my head, I quite enjoyed that thought. The idea of walking around with it for everypony to see, even though they would not be able to identify the perpetrator of course, somehow filled me with a strange sense of pride that I could not have explained for the life of me.

Then there was the fact of what that pain stood for. She had tried to be silent, because I had made her become louder. I had coaxed these beautiful sounds out of her, and her attempts at muffling them had only partially succeeded. She had resorted to biting me, because nothing else had worked sufficiently. It felt like the physical evidence of the power I could have over her. It made me euphoric thinking about it.

Of course, there was also the point of pain being a stimulus that, all by itself or in mixture with other stimuli, could be enjoyable just for the sake of it. That jolt running up and down my spine had made me shiver for a short moment. I had a rather low pain tolerance and the threshold of what I could take before it became uncomfortable was equally low. But that bite had hit the mark with astounding accuracy.

Now. How to explain all that?

I basically gave up after a couple of seconds of her waiting and shrugged, but accompanied by an enthusiastic grin. “Yupp. Nice. Really, really nice actually.”

She opened her mouth to pursue this further but ultimately thought better of it. And I saw storm clouds gathering strength over her head as another troubled expression started to grow on her lovely lips. “What just happened—“ she started.

“Do you regret it?” I quickly interrupted.

I could read her enough to see that she had expected as much. Still, it took her a couple of seconds before she answered. “No.” She looked like she had to feel out her own answer. How it sounded. If it felt right to stick with it. If anything needed to be added. “But it has some— It was not—”

It was strange to see her get tangled up in her own thoughts. She did not seem to be the kind of pony that was prone to that. “It wasn’t ideal,” I supplied and craned my neck to look around. Still nopony anywhere close by. So there was that at least. “And yet, neither of us regrets anything. That’s good. I sure like to hope so at least. And we both enjoyed it, I assume. Which is great.” I sighed. “I like you. A lot. I sure like looking at you a lot as well. And I want more. More of this. More of you. But, you know… less public next time, maybe.” A memory sprang to mind. Fluttershy’s cottage once again made itself known. Our timid host hid away in her kitchen and Sunny gave me that bedroom stare, daring me to make a move. Maybe without friends being present, as well?, I added in my head.

She had been silent and remained so. A glance into her eyes told me how little my words had changed. From her point of view, a lot of consequences and potential factors had to be given proper consideration. She could not allow herself to take the same liberty I had so graciously bestowed upon myself: To just ‘go with the flow’.

But she did not walk back on her answer. There was no regret for what we had done. For now anyway.

“You fancy a swim?” I asked her with as much nonchalance as I could muster. I had successfully interrupted her spiraling thoughts and could see her look around until she noticed the lake again. She nodded and we both stood up. It was the first time that I actually saw her side and blushed quite hard as I tried — and failed — not to stare. “You had a rather vivid dream, it appears,” she explained what really did not need to be explained. “I thought…” But she trailed off, shaking her head.

Probably something about protecting my decency. It mattered little. “Thank you,” I once again said and started to slowly walk towards the water. She followed suit and the water engulfed us both.

Cold. As. Ice. But that was the point. Whatever horny little thoughts and impulses remained were thoroughly frozen and drowned. The partially dried patches on Sunny's coat, her tail, my belly, everything was just drenched in water and slowly cleaned as we swam around a little. It seemed to help her clear her mind as well, because I saw those clouds drift off and her usual composure take its place.

We stepped out of the water and onto the shore again. I found myself admiring her once more and just like that day at Fluttershy’s cottage, my mind started to wander and ask questions about the inherent capability of water increasing the attractiveness of mares.

“I will need to head home soon,” she said and thereby ripped me out of my reverie. I followed her gaze up to the sky. The sun was hanging low. It would be dinner time soon enough. And that thought alone put some solid rocks into my stomach. Looking back at her though, I finally noted that her words had not been entirely true. It was more of a desire than a necessity, and more of a ‘now’ than a ‘soon’.

I tried to smile anyway. I tried to tell myself that I had not scared her off. I opened my mouth to thank her yet again, but noticed how worn out that would start to sound if I kept this up. So I opted to ask something that was actually close to my heart and something that worried me the more I thought about it instead. “Will I see you again?”

She sighed. Maybe she had hoped I would not notice? Or would not dare to speak of it? Maybe I was being clingy and she was annoyed? Truth be told, I utterly failed to read her. She would not let me. That would have been less surprising were it not for the fact that her usual mask of a practiced smile wasn’t even back in place yet.

She considered her answer carefully with her gaze averted to the ground. Maybe looking at me was a distraction. With each passing second, my stomach felt heavier and heavier. But I held onto that little bit of hope. I had not messed up. Not again. We both had no regrets. This had not been another failure.

Maybe it was Lady Luck smiling upon me once more. I dared not to question it. Sunny lifted her head again. A shaky, tiny smile graced her lips. “I hope so,” she replied. It made me exhale a breath I had apparently held in. However, she seemed uncertain what to do next. She could have just flapped her wings and lifted herself off the ground. So I took it upon myself to take initiative once more. Because I had such a great track record with that. I stepped up to her and waited. I stopped myself before I could lean in and kiss her again, because for some reason, now of all times, I wanted her to kiss me.

I saw her hesitate before she eventually leaned in and did just that. And I felt immeasurable relief. I even became cheeky enough to let my tongue slip out and graze her lips for a second before we pulled apart again. “Have a safe flight.”

“Thank you. And good luck with Twilight,” she replied and flew off.

Twilight. Right. Time to face the next disaster.

Why, oh why, could I not shake the feeling that despite my achievements and moments of success, I was still just stringing together failures like pearls on a necklace? Maybe those achievements and successes were the string connecting it all? Would that work as a metaphor? I tried to keep myself busy and distracted with musings like this while I walked back towards the castle, almost on auto-pilot.

I arrived without incidents and entered, seeing neither hide nor hair of Twilight at first — or Spike, for that matter. I ventured a guess, I walked towards the living room and indeed, as I drew closer, I could hear voices. Spike's voice, to be precise. “—worry, I’m sure he’s—“

A certain impatience had grabbed hold of me. It had creeped its way up my spine from the moment I had entered the castle and there had only been so much I was able to do to keep myself from running through the hallway and shouting Twilight's name. It meant that I had no intention of slowing down or listening for what kind of situation I might be running into. I instead simply entered the living room and as soon as I stepped inside, I looked around for both of them. They sat on the sofa and much to my dismay, Twilight looked devastated.

“Hi,” I weakly offered as both fell silent the very moment I opened the door.

This oppressive silence persisted for a couple of seconds until Spike belatedly finished his sentence. “… fine.”

“Spike, leave us alone please,” Twilight asked in a toneless voice that made me shiver.

The young dragon complied. He hugged her, then climbed off the sofa and hastily walked over to the door — and to me. I was a little startled when he hugged me as well. And his embrace was fierce enough to realize that he knew. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he whispered and allowed himself the briefest of moments before he withdrew, walked out and closed the door behind himself.

Twilight stood up and slowly walked over to me. I was not sure what to expect, so I just stood there and waited until she stopped a short distance away. We looked at each other for a moment that seemed to stretch longer and longer. I noticed the tear stains. The bloodshot eyes. The slight tremble in her lips. Her frazzled mane. Her roughed up coat. I was painfully aware of having caused all of this. And I burned it into my memory. You caused this. Look at it. Remember it. Learn to never, ever do that to her again!

She was waiting for me to do something, say something. And I wracked my brain for what to say. I had asked Luna if an apology would be a good start and while she had not denied it, she had not quite agreed either. Maybe because she had foreseen this moment. How difficult it would be to apologize for what I had done — as an apology just did not seem to quite fit the bill.

Well. I had to start somewhere. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“For what?” she immediately asked. Although her voice trembled, it held the tone of a demand. A demand to elaborate.

I wanted to hang my head in shame but pushed past the impulse. I tried to look her in the eye, see how much pain I had caused, but I only managed for a short time. “For lying to you.” Despite everything, I was not about to apologize for what had actually caused my desolate state earlier. I had underestimated a force of the dreamscape. And had almost paid a very high price for it. But my intentions had been good. My heart had been in the right place. And I could not in good conscience apologize for wanting to help a friend.

Everything else though…

“I—“ she started but her voice broke. “I—“ she tried again but a choked sob escaped instead. Tears welled up in her eyes. Anger bled into her gaze a moment later. She raised a hoof, ready to strike. And I was waiting for it. She had every right to slap the stupid out of me. And I demanded of myself to not flinch away. To reap what I had sown.

The strike never came. Her hoof, held under such tension, started to shake. But she could not release it. So I took my chances and tried to expand on my very sorry apology. “I was wrong. In more ways than one. I underestimated a potential danger. I underestimated what damage it had done. I wanted you to be proud of me. I wanted you to still think of me being capable of holding my own. I was afraid you would think less of me once you saw just how exhausted I was. I should never have sent you away. And I should never have lied to you.” I took a deep, steadying breath as I felt my own nerves getting to me. My own voice barely contained that growing quiver. “Luna came by and fixed things. I agreed to let her teach me and wait with further dreamwalking until her lessons are over. If I can. It— I can’t— It won’t happen again. You mean so much to me, I can’t lose you over this…”

“You almost did,” she snapped. Her voice was thick with emotion. “You flatlined.” I swallowed hard. So she had not been exaggerating after all. I did not know what to say to that. And I did not want to say how sorry I was for the umpteenth time. I was still searching for words when she finally lowered her almost violently shaking hoof. She carefully rubbed along her leg to ease the ache and she stepped closer after that. I thought — hoped — I understood her intention, mirrored her movement and embraced her. She put her forelegs around me, sat on her haunches and almost choked the life out of me, so tight was her embrace. She held on for dear life. My life.

I reciprocated with force just a moment later. My fears were different than those she harbored. But they were fears nonetheless. She gently opened her wings and formed a cocoon around us. I heard no sobbing. Those were silent tears I felt in my coat as she buried her muzzle in the crook of my neck. “I was so scared,” she admitted. I was still at a loss. I was not about to say ‘I know’. So I kept quiet. And began to slowly stroke her mane and down her back in an effort to calm her. “Never, ever, do that again, you hear me?” she demanded with an unsteady voice. A small amount of her anger returned and vanished just as quickly.

I nodded. “I won’t,” I said. And I meant it. I felt her nod, mollified by my sincere answer.

I assumed that it took us several minutes to part again. In truth I had lost my sense of time. I was focused on her and her alone. Every shuddering breath a little ache in my heart. They piled up to hammer home the message loud and clear and not to be forgotten: Never. Again.

When she finally pulled back, she looked even worse than before. But she managed a genuine little smile this time. “Honey, I’m home,” I whispered with a breathy voice.

There was the barest hint of a head shake, but to my relief, her smile did not falter. “Not funny.”

“I know. I rarely am,” I admitted.

“It’s not that bad… you get used to it,” she tried herself. I offered a quiet chuckle in response and we shared a look. “I meant it,” she whispered with a more steady voice. “Please don’t leave me like this. I… I am really bad at dealing with loss.”

The image of a charred tree stump flashed before my eyes. I sighed and nodded. “Everyone is, I believe.” I pulled her back in for another hug. “I’m not going anywhere.” I could have stayed like this forever. Her embrace felt nice, her warmth slowly seeped into me and I felt my own fears slowly, very slowly, drain away. She was here. I was here. The rest could be worked out later.

“I forgive you.” And with just three words, she made me wish for this moment to last even longer. Or at least for a lot longer than it did as it took Spike just a couple of seconds after that to cautiously knock on the door and stick his head in.

“Are you guys done yet?” he quietly asked.

Twilight and I shared a soft giggle and pulled apart again. We looked at each other. Were we good? Had everything been said that needed to be said?

“Yes. I think we are done,” Twilight answered with a last sniffle and I nodded in agreement.

“Good, good, because dinner would be ready,” the young dragon stated. But instead of vanishing back to the kitchen, he walked over. Slowly, almost hesitantly.

“Don’t worry, we’re fine,” I told him and opened up for another hug. He hastily approached and drew both of us in.

“That’s good.” His muffled voice came from somewhere between us. “Then we’re gonna have dinner now, right?”

As if on cue, my stomach grumbled a little. “Well… I guess,” I replied.

“Would you two mind taking care of that? I… feel like I could use a little time in the bathroom,” Twilight asked. Some water to her face and a brush, I presumed. Both Spike and I agreed.

Dinner was served shortly after and Twilight was looking… well. Better, by far. We had just sat down to eat when White Tip landed on the table. “Hey there, buddy. Sorry that I’ve left you hanging for a while, it was… a busy day.” He cawed happily — I liked to think — and let me pet him a little, all the while merrily snatching a few pieces off my plate. It was okay, really. Spoiling them was what pets were for, right?

“Let’s dig in,” Spike proposed the very second we heard a knock from the front door.

“Huh. I wonder who that is,” Twilight said.

“This late… has to be something important, right?” I added.

She stood up and made her way to the door, seeing as whoever was visiting probably was not here for me and Spike was not about to let his meal get cold. Due to the fact that Twilight had left the door to the living room open, we could hear the conversation taking place and all of a sudden, Spike was very willing to let his food cool down.

“Terribly sorry, darling.” Rarity. “I didn’t mean to interrupt this late. I fear my little project has developed a life of its own again. I could come back later if it’s inconvenient?” Twilight was not about to send her friend away of course, but she hesitated just that fraction of a second too long, so Spike chirped in.

“It’s not!” he yelled and thereby startled both White Tip and me. He noticed White Tip crowing at him and my feathery friend then flew off to his perch again. Spike merely chuckled a little embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“You’re not still ogling her, are you?” I asked amused about his enthusiasm.

“N-No,” he stammered in response. “But… she is Rarity… you know?”

Twilight was not my Twilight any longer. But she was still Twilight. I actually thought that yes — I did know. So I nodded and patted him on the back when he quickly inspected himself to see if he was presentable.

“Is that you, Spike?” we heard Rarity ask with delight.

“Why don’t you just come in,” Twilight offered as it became clear that Rarity was not going anywhere. “I am sure you are welcome to join us for dinner!”

“Oh I wouldn’t impose… but dinner does sound rather nice. I believe I may have forgotten breakfast again.” As soon as her potential participation in our meal was even mentioned, Spike was gone. And before Rarity entered the room, he somehow had already returned and placed down another plate, sat back down in his chair and tried his hardest to look casual… which obviously defeated the point.

As soon as Rarity entered the room, our eyes met. Her gaze was intense, I had to give her that. Considering I had been around for roughly two weeks now, I was surprised that we only met now. Rarity was basically the linchpin of Ponyville's rumor mill, rivaled only by Aloe and Lotus. But the spa sisters had a unique advantage, given that most ponies became somewhat talkative during spa treatments. Rarity however worked for it. Hard. She was designing fashion in a town where barely anypony wore anything at any given time. She was a socialite — in Ponyville. She was a classy, proper lady in search of her prince charming. In Ponyville. That mare never chose the easy route.

It sometimes baffled me how exactly she maintained her status. Maybe she was just so much nosier than I knew and remembered, but I dared not to speak that thought aloud. She was known for her flair and dramatics and after today, I was in no mood for a scene.

She inspected me for a good long moment, probably noting down my color scheme, features to highlight, potential for accessories and maybe even making some assumptions on my measurements. It felt similar to what Pinkie had done on our first meeting. But there was something else. A glint. Something I found hard to read. But I was suddenly sure that this visitor was here for me.

It had taken me almost a week to even leave the castle again. But at the end of that first week, I had ordered a redecoration and Stonewood might have been a source for her to hear things. Her regular visits in Canterlot might also have contributed something, as there had probably been quite a busy day or two, maybe involving several ponies, before the Archives could deliver on a massive book order from Princess Twilight… while Princess Twilight was not even at home.

Thinking back, there were a lot of incidents that could have contributed to her seeking me out. Out of curiosity. But that glint was no curiosity. I had brought Fluttershy and Pinkie together. Two of her closest friends. I did not know for sure, but I still had high hopes for Rainbow and Applejack worked things out as well. And Rarity, despite being the Element of Generosity, had a poor track record with her suitors so far. She gave with joy and she gave in full, but there had been nopony so far to give back in kind. Spike had tried, obviously. I suspected that on some level he still did, given how long he had harbored this crush. But for all her sense of romance, Rarity was alone. A beautiful mare, stylish, well-mannered, with a sense of fashion, a successful business owner despite the adversity of her hometown, with so much of herself to give… alone.

I had heard of the saying. Those with beauty are cursed by it. ‘She’s so out of my league’, many would think. And therefore did not even try. And those disregarding that sentiment tended to have reasons to do so — reasons Rarity took a very close look upon.

One could argue that she had too high standards. Her prince charming had to be the textbook example and that just wasn’t going to happen. Maybe that was it then? This idea of romance, this idea of how romance had to be, poisoned the well and made everything way too convoluted in her head.

Maybe.

After a moment, her studying gaze drifted over and became a lot softer and warmer as she regarded Spike. “Oh, well, hello there!” she greeted with a giggle as Spike was absolutely casual.

Twilight filed in after Rarity. She smiled and shook her head as she saw Spike and closed the door. Knowing something about manners, I stood up as both mares stepped closer to the table. I would not have bothered with Twilight alone, but I knew that Rarity appreciated such gestures.

“I do not believe we had the pleasure of meeting quite yet,” Rarity said.

“The pleasure is mine, Rarity,” I replied and bowed a little. Because I was pretty certain that would catapult me into her good graces. And judging by her elated smile, I was probably right.

“Right. Rarity, this is Dreamwalker,” Twilight belatedly introduced us. “He has been living with me for the last thirteen days. Oh gosh. I have not been around for some time, have I?”

Rarity just shrugged it off with a well-balanced nonchalance. “It’s quite alright, dear, we all have our projects to keep us busy these days. Nothing to worry about. Though I have heard some things about your new…?”

“Friend,” we both hastily replied before she could insinuate anything else. Us answering this quickly obviously had quite the opposite effect. Great. Rarity would not say anything about it of course. But the wheels of the rumor mill were ever turning, mercilessly.

Rarity sidestepped to Spike to greet him with a little hug before both mares finally sat down and I could do the same. “This does look and smell divine,” she praised our little cook and filled her plate with a serving that was a lot more manageable than ours. After daintily picking at her food, she restarted the conversation. “So, Twilight, dear. Do pray tell, what have you been up to these past days?”

That little flutter she did with her fake eyelashes was disarming. Twilight smiled bashfully and I had a good inclination as to what she was probably remembering as her cheeks flushed ever so slightly. Rarity of course took note of that but did not pry any further just yet, given Spike's and my presence. And so began a conversation that seemed innocent enough on a surface level. Over the course of the next two or three hours, we sat at the table and ate, then sat around the fireplace and talked, until Spike at some point just curled up and slept on the carpet. It was getting late and I had almost given up on my suspicion. I was willing to accept that this was just friendly banter and an opportunity to get to know each other. But then Rarity quietly whispered Spike's name and as the young dragon was soundly asleep, let an almost predatory grin grow on her face that warned both Twilight and me.

“Friends, my darlings? Really now? From what I have heard, you had quite an interesting time together.”

Ahhh, Rarity. To be frank — dancing around in a mine field was exactly the part I had not missed about her. But I knew that she had fun doing this. Outmaneuvering others in verbal ripostes. Teasing and waiting for denial or confirmation.

Maybe she knew about our first kiss. It was possible that some birds had seen it and told Fluttershy, who in turn could have told Rarity at the spa — because Rarity was constantly fishing for new snippets like that — and Fluttershy was the kind of pony that would never, ever, let me know she saw or heard anything like that.

Maybe she knew about our first and only night together. Spike had been somewhere else. Maybe he talked to the crusaders and grumbled about not getting enough sleep because of the volume from some rooms over. And wouldn’t you know, Sweetie Belle — one of the Crusaders — was Rarity’s little sister, bugging her on an almost daily basis. Or Spike could have told Rarity himself. Maybe she had heard or even witnessed herself one of the many, many quite intimate embraces we had shared.

There were just so many options. And she was keeping her cards close to her chest as usual.

I would let her have her fun on any other day. But today had indeed been eventful and I just could not be bothered. “I kissed her when we first met,” I started to shortcut her game. “And yes, we have been very close so far, but we are just friends. Good friends. Close friends. But friends.”

She seemed almost a bit disappointed and looked to Twilight for something juicier. But Twilight just gave her affirmation to what I had said with a nod, grateful that she would not have to brave this interrogation alone. “Hmmm,” Rarity hummed as she mulled my answer over. “I must admit, I am quite interested in this ‘closeness’ you two share, but maybe that can wait for another day.” Twilight sighed in relief, much to my surprise. She knew Rarity. She really should have known better. I kept my guard up as I knew that the pristine white unicorn was only readying her next attack. “The castle looks marvelous. I admire what you did with the interior,” she innocently continued and addressed Twilight first but watched me like a hawk out of the corner of her eyes.

Really, I could not.

I dragged a hoof across my face and rubbed my temple. “Rarity… I like you. Really, I do. We had a lot of good times. But could I maybe interest you in a consistent, chronological retelling of the events of the past two weeks instead of you fishing for details? It would make things so much easier.”

She looked almost shocked for a few seconds. “Well you’re no fun,” she replied with a dainty huff.

I tried to smile apologetically. “I’m really sorry. But I had a long and very stressful day. I’m a little unbalanced and I believe so is Twilight. I don’t mind telling you stuff. I would love to have you as a friend again. But right now, I just… I can’t play games. Any other day, be my guest. But please, not today.”

She regarded me with an inquisitive look. She Searched for evidence of what I had claimed. And she inspected Twilight in much the same way. The good thing was that, as a creative mind, as a fashion designer no less, Rarity was very much used to having a critical eye. She saw details others needed instruments to notice. Twilight's eyes were still slightly redder than they normally were. Her coat was ruffled in a few places, even after her quick self-care in the bathroom before dinner. And I probably still looked like an extra from the Walking Dead musical.

She relented with a sigh. “Just my luck, I suppose,” she mumbled to herself. “I pick the one day when everything is utter mayhem.” She scooched a little closer to Twilight. “You do look worn out, darling. Are you feeling alright?”

Twilight tried to smile past her exhaustion, but only half-succeeded. “I’m fine, just… tired.”

Despite her occasional mercilessness when it came to rumor hunting, Rarity did care. Quite a lot actually, as she usually enjoyed the rumor mill, but ultimately used it for good intents and purposes. “I am given to understand that Dreamwalker over here has your trust and is living with you in a permanent arrangement?” she asked. Although the question confused Twilight for a moment, I had my assumptions about what this was for. As soon as Twilight nodded, Rarity gave her a warm smile and hugged her. “Then you shall take little Spikey over there and go to bed, darling. Dreamwalker and I will have a little chat and he can see me off once we are done.”

The idea of going to bed was obviously enticing to Twilight. Her gaze first fell upon Spike who was happily snoring away on the carpet and mumbled something unintelligible. Then she looked at me. I had to stifle a giggle as she looked so concerned. Almost like Rarity would devour me the very second she left us alone.

She would try, of course. Figuratively speaking.

“It’s alright. Go to bed,” I said. “I promise she’ll be safe with me.”

“Such a gentlecolt.” Rarity’s overjoyed smile had me chuckling again. For a brief moment, a very brief moment, I could absolutely understand how Spike fell for her.

“Alright,” Twilight relented. She stood up and carefully took Spike in her magic, levitating him off the floor. “Good night, you two. And sorry, Rarity.”

“I won’t have any of that, Twilight,” Rarity objected. “We have been talking for quite some time, have we not? If anything, this only proves that we should do this more often.”

Twilight hugged Rarity first and me right after. “Good night,” we wished each other and she finally retreated from the room. The door closed and we heard her hoofsteps receding. I missed the warmth of her hug already.

“And just what has drained her this much?” Rarity quietly asked as she turned her attention from the door back to me.

“I died,” I answered with a dark, nonchalant chuckle.

“Oh… oh dear…” She paled a little — which was an impressive feat, given her coat color.

“It’s fine. I’m all better now. Maybe you want that story now? I promise, despite my lack of enthusiasm, I will make a decent storyteller — even in this sorry state.” I tried to convince her with a smile but quickly found that ‘convincing her’ was absolutely unnecessary.

She crossed her front hooves while she settled down on her belly on the sofa again and appeared as regal as a lady should. She then flashed me one of her famous smiles to loosen my tongue. “I would very much like that, yes.”

And so I started. Again.

Rarity knew how to read ponies. And she knew even better how to read between the lines. Certain things I surely would not have to spell out. I knew that. At the same time, I was well aware that, given my state, she was probably getting a lot more from me than I intended. But I was fine with that for now. It was still the lesser of two evils.

There were certain parts I left out completely. Despite knowing that Twilight and Rarity were very close friends, I was certainly not about to tell her about my night with her. In the same vein, I did not tell her what exactly had happened just a couple of hours ago with Sunny at the lake. She was free to fill in the blanks however she saw fit. I certainly knew I could not stop her anyway.

She listened intently and rarely injected her questions, to my surprise. Either she was being considerate, or I was indeed a halfway decent storyteller.

“Luna basically shoved me back into my own dream after that and I woke up at the lake. Sunny was still there. She had apparently watched over me. We talked a little, went for a swim… but she had to head home eventually and I returned here. To nopony’s surprise, Twilight was… well…” My throat got tighter again and I swallowed. “She was devastated. Stupid bands. I thought they were a great idea at first, but…”

“Do you really wish to rethink your position on that?” Rarity asked with something in her voice that made me look up. As usual: If she wanted to be ominous or mysterious, she just was.

I mulled her question over and realized that she was right. If she was implying what I thought she was implying anyway. “No. It wouldn’t have made anything better I suppose,” I admitted. And she looked quite satisfied with that answer. “Spike was happy to see me again. Given how clingy he was for a moment, I guess either Twilight told him what was going on or he figured it out himself, at least partially. Either way, he’s a lot better at taking such stuff in stride. He left and… Twilight and I had a talk. I like to think that we successfully cleared the air. We sat down for dinner after that and you came along.”

Rarity hummed to herself again. “There is a lot I would like to ask you. And even more to think about. It is quite a story. But seeing as night has fallen and my boutique needs to be open at a certain hour, I shall refrain from unleashing the bulk of my curiosity for now. There is something I like to say however.”

I smiled and nodded. I was pretty sure that I knew what was coming next. “As I said, I promised Luna — and more importantly Twilight — to wait with further dreamwalking. Luckily, we won’t need that for you. Considering everything that’s been going on, you might actually be the easiest case.” Rarity did not mind putting in work herself. I actually expected her to be revolted by the idea of me 'fixing' things for her. It went against her fantasies and her understanding of how romance was supposed to work. I could however show her a path she had overlooked so far.

Incomparable confusion. It was not the expression I had expected to see on her face. She blinked a couple of times until she recomposed herself. “Excuse me, but could you maybe... elaborate on that?” she asked.

“Oh… I-I… uh… I thought you wanted… some…” Element of Generosity. Rarity was all about giving. Neither taking, nor asking. Had some of the friendship problems of the past not been due to the fact that she found it hard to say ‘no’ at times? To claim something for herself or to ask favors? How had I suspected that whatever she wanted to bring up with the little time remaining was about her? “… pointers?”

While that certainly had not been on the forefront of her thoughts, I could see that my misjudgment had placed a new idea in her mind, mixed with a great deal of curiosity. After weighing her options, her decision became apparent once her alluring smile threatened to draw me in. “Pointers, you say…” she almost purred. “I admit, I am curious about this as well. You claim to have intimate knowledge of all of us and I find little to object to the idea. Given what we — Ponyville as a community, Equestria as a nation and our little ragtag band of friends — have been through in the last years. So I am willing to take your word on this. I…” Her smile faltered for a moment and her gaze drifted off to the side. It grew clouded with regret and even shame. “I am loath to admit it, but I had to battle my envy just a little bit. Seeing my dear Fluttershy this happy, like a beautiful desert rose drinking from the first rain in many years. It is a sight to behold. Even Pinkie seems different now, despite her being happy all the time anyway.”

She was the lynchpin, I reminded myself. Which meant that she probably knew about something that was still bothering me. “Do you know what happened between Applejack and Rainbow Dash? Today, I mean?” The idiocy of my own question became clear once I had said it out loud. Rarity had mentioned how her project was keeping her busy enough that Twilight had seen neither hide nor hair of her in two weeks. Some new dress or fashion line or something like that. She probably was not quite up to date on—

“Oh yes, those two.” Nevermind. “While Sweet Apple Acres is a little off the beaten track, I still heard that there had been a most joyous reunion. Apparently Apple Bloom could barely stop rambling on about it and neither could Scootaloo.” A deep sigh of relief escaped my throat. That was obviously not proof that it had worked. But a ‘joyous reunion’ was a good enough hint for me. It was not time for any Apple family reunion I knew of, no holidays around either. So it seemed likely. Rarity regarded me with a sympathetic smile. “A weight off your shoulders?”

I smiled tiredly. “Like you wouldn’t believe.” Silence fell over the room, broken only occasionally by the fireplace giving a quiet crackle. Rarity seemed… well, not uncomfortable per se, but she seemed hesitant to speak up again. It took me a couple of seconds to realize why. “Right. Hints,” I resumed. “So you’re willing to listen to me?”

She gave an unladylike shrug which betrayed her refined manners for just a moment. “Whatever you can tell me is but information to be used however I see fit. If I decide that I do not like what I hear, I may as well disregard it, no?”

I chuckled and nodded. “Sure. Reminds me of Applejack actually. If she had not been in a relationship already, I probably could have told her whatever I felt like, she would just listen and do whatever she wanted with it. Probably store it away for later and forget all about it, because of work.”

“That does sound like her,” Rarity agreed.

“Right. So. I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t exactly anything that can be handled with subtlety,” I started and I was not surprised to see Rarity raise an eyebrow.

“Dear, everything can be handled with subtlety,” she objected. “But I understand the point you are trying to make. Please excuse the interruption. You may continue.”

“You have a problem, Rarity. You are smart, you are beautiful and you are successful,” I noted with satisfaction how her face lit up due to the pleasant compliments. “True, we all have our own little idiosyncrasies. But by any means, you should be way more successful than you are in your search for a suitable partner. While I am not one hundred percent certain to understand why you’re not, I do know of a few things that might give you just what you want. But… you will have to make some concessions.”

“And here I was thinking about praising your skills of flattery,” she sighed. She looked down at her own hooves, probably weighing her options. I had yet to continue — because I waited for her to allow me to do so. If she was not willing to make any concessions at all, then all I had to say was already a lost cause. “Please. Tell me.”

I nodded. “You pined for Blueblood and… well. The less said about the incident, or him, the better.” She grimaced in annoyance. It was enough for me to cut this reminder short. “I won’t tell you that there’s only one prince charming out there. There are probably a lot. But I know of one who would very much welcome you into his life. In fact, I believe he already did. Or at least tried. On numerous occasions.”

Rarity furrowed her brow and regarded me with a hint of impatience. “Was it not you who told me that there was barely any energy left to play games?”

I grinned sheepishly. “Fair enough. I'm talking about Fancy Pants.” The name alone made her eyes go wide. “He’s a good stallion. Upper class, respectable, successful, articulate, well-mannered, good-looking… and what is a lot more important anyway: He has a good heart. Good humor, generous, respectful, looks out for the ‘little ponies’ around him. He explicitly invited you to several parties and each and every time, he makes an effort to spend some time with you specifically.”

Rarity’s smile grew sadder the longer I talked. She nodded to all I had to say and in the end added her own little detail. “You are quite right, he does that. So does his paramour, Fleur de Lis.”

My smile only grew into a grin. I had anticipated something right. She was not seeing it. “I know.”

She shook her head in confusion. “Then how is this supposed to be helpful? Surely you don’t intend for me to sabotage their relationship?”

“That’s where the concessions come in,” I started and immediately held up a hoof to stop her shocked objections. “And not in the way you think. See, I don’t think you can sabotage what they have. They live in an open-ended relationship. As far as I am aware, they both invited you. They both cherish your company. They both attempt to spend time with you whenever you are in Canterlot, be it as a couple or one on one. There is a reason for that.”

“Oh.” Hearing her realize it was perplexing. I could not have told what kind of reaction I had expected. Just something more wordy than this probably.

“Details vary from memory to memory. There’s always a chance that I’m off the mark,” I admitted. “But you… you don’t love stallions.”

“Excuse me?” There was a carefully guarded neutrality to her remark. A warning that I was standing on thin ice.

“Please go on. Tell me how you care what’s under somepony’s tail,” I snapped. And I immediately cringed and wilted under her withering glare. “Sorry, that was uncalled for. What I wanted to say is this: You appreciate beauty. And eventually, you come to love it. And you are not restricted by gender, or even race. You can see the beauty in anypony, anycreature, anything surrounding you. It’s what drives you. What constantly spurs you on to create. Add new fabrics, work with new color combinations, and let yourself be inspired by a sight that has caught your attention. Fleur is beautiful and you know that. And I am not talking about her shapely body, because the way you see the world, most creatures in it are more than just the shell they live in. It’s what allowed you to see beauty in a water serpent, where others only saw a creature at best or a beast at worst. I think you appreciate her as a friend already, a close and dear one. I just want to put the possibility out there and open your eyes to the idea that there’s potential for more. There’s a reason they share your attention and time. Both are interested. They both vie for you. They balance it so as to not upset the other. They have a whole set of rules and I barely know any of those, because quite frankly, those are just not the social circles I usually find myself in. But maybe think about it? Instead of one prince, you could have a prince and a princess. Instead of one stallion to spoil rotten with suits, you could fawn over the newest dress with the very paramour that’s supposed to wear it. I certainly know that you have enough to give for two ponies. But as you said… you do whatever you want with whatever I tell you.”

She fell silent for quite some time. If not for her expression changing now and then and her eyes blinking, I might as well have guessed she drifted off to sleep. “How many?” she finally asked.

I quickly understood what she was asking and shook my head. “Does it matter?” I declined her request. “As those last weeks have proven, my memory is helpful, but it’s traitorous as well. Something that cannot be relied upon like a crutch. I have enough memories to support what I just said. Now if you tell me, going back through the years of you visiting Canterlot since that first Gala with Twilight, that you never noticed them doing any of what I told you about, then I am obviously wrong. At least this time. But if you remember these instances and especially if they are numerous, then consider what I told you to be an option. A hint rather. Something to be investigated.” I chuckled. “And I know that you love to solve a good mystery.”

“That is true, I have my vices,” she joked with a smile.

“Nah. I don’t think that counts as a vice. Eating too much cookie dough strawberry ice cream, that’s a vice.” I laughed as she levitated one of the sofa pillows and threw it at me full force. Of course I just took it in my own magic and stopped it right before my face. “How unladylike,” I chided.

Instead of retorting she drifted off to her musings once more. “How would that even work…?” she mumbled more to herself than me, but looked up at me anyway.

“Well honestly, I’m not sure I’m able to tell you,” I replied with a shrug. “Funny enough, I have very vivid memories of living in a similar relationship with Twilight and Luna. It wasn’t open, just the three of us. But three is more than two and that already makes my head hurt, just thinking about the logistics of it all… But I remember us being happy. So very, very happy.” I was running my mouth again and I knew it the very second I saw her eyes light up with glee. “Won’t happen this time,” I quickly added, but I could not tell if that did anything to whatever was going on in her head. Maybe she should write fanfiction…

Then I remembered something. “Say, I don’t suppose you’re done with this topic for now?”

She looked up once more, curious about what I was getting at. “Well you certainly gave me a lot to think about. None of it will be resolved tonight however. So if there is anything you wish to talk about before I take my leave, please — be my guest.”

I smiled gratefully. “Thanks, but it’s actually the other way around. Before I assumed the wrong thing once more and got us horribly side-tracked, you were about to tell me something?”

“Was I?” she asked and thought back. She clearly remembered as her expression shifted into a determined mask. “Ah. Yes, that. I just fear that with this little side-track of ours, it might not have quite the gravitas I had hoped to imbue it with.”

“Maybe,” I replied. “But it seemed important to you.”

“It is,” she confirmed. She considered her approach and after overcoming her hesitation, she slowly started. “This is about Twilight. And the others for that matter. But mostly about Twilight.”

“Is this the ‘state your intentions!’-speech fathers are supposed to give to the young suitors of their children? Because I gave that speech recently and it would be quite funny to receive it myself now…” She once more shot me this surprisingly effective withering glare. I thought Fluttershy was the one with stare-based powers. “Gravitas, right. Sorry,” I backpedaled.

A quiet huff escaped her before she continued. “You seem to be very dear to her, that much became quite clear. And you seem to be a decent pony, which I am grateful for. But I am worried about these memories you have. They give you what appears to be an advantage on the surface, but as you already found out yourself — looks can be deceiving. I can only imagine how difficult it must be, having this supposed knowledge and not using it. In a sense, this is a warning and I promise you that it is with good intentions that I utter it. But more to the point, I wish for you to be careful. You are not just rearranging a puzzle someone broke. You are dealing with ponies, with their hearts and dreams and lives and wishes. And some of these ponies are especially dear to me. Now, you have already hurt Twilight once and while I am not happy about that, I can see that you harbor honest regret about it and that she has forgiven you. However I will be very cross with you if you hurt any of them in future and I want to make sure that I am understood: Despite what we may look like or what you may remember, it is neither Applejack nor Twilight you will have to fear in the end. It is me.”

Halfway through I realized what kind of speech this would shape up to be and braced myself for it. Of course I could not promise her that I would never hurt her friends. Even though I had promised something very similar to Twilight a few hours prior. First off, I loathed promising something I could not guarantee to keep. Having such promises in effect was always a little grating. Secondly, I hoped that soon enough — if not already — her friends would be my friends as well.

But I was not about to object. She needed to make this speech to make a point. She was mama bear, the great protector, and I had to fear her ferocious rage. It was all quite clear and endearing and I tried very hard not to smile. Even though her reminder that I had hurt Twilight still stung and felt unnecessary. But I remained silent and let her finish.

It is me, her voice rang in my head. My sight swam, my head suddenly felt light…

Oh no.

“Falling,” I croaked as I already saw the world tilt sideways. Lucky me, Rarity was a professional fainter. She knew exactly what happened and acted quickly. She broke my fall by levitating a couple of sofa pillows under me.

I barely felt them. I barely felt my own body at all. I could not even close my eyes. Or see what they were supposed to show me. I instead tried to push through another flash of insight. It felt like ages since I had a bigger one. I trudged through muddy waters, everything slowed me down, and all this muck clung to me…

There were sounds. A sudden smell hit my nose but was gone before my mind could actually categorize it. Scenes flashed before my eyes, way too fast to comprehend…

After maybe half a minute I blinked and signaled my return with a groan. “That was weird,” I croaked and slowly sat up.

“You don’t say,” she replied. Rarity was in front of me and looked quite worried. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine,” I replied almost automatically — a bad habit of mine, apparently. “It was just another flash. It’s just… they are usually not this vague? Like… I can’t even tell you what I remembered. Sorry. I did not want to ruin your speech. I know what you’re getting at, you’ve been quite clear. I… I’ll try. I care about them. Of course I don’t want to hurt them. So yeah. I’ll try.”

She regarded me a little longer, as if I could tip over at the drop of a hat — which was probably possible to be fair. She had listened of course. And she seemed satisfied with both what I had said and what she saw. ”Good. Now I believe you have told me that you had quite the exhausting day as well. Might that have played a role in your… fainting?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. I wouldn’t be able to tell.”

She gave a curt nod and stood up. “Well in this case, darling, I believe it to be time for our farewells for this evening.” I escorted her to the door just as I had promised and we each said our goodbyes and good nights. I still felt a little woozy, but I tried to keep that hidden and it seemed to work well enough.

I briefly returned to the living room once the door was closed to sort the pillows back to their intended place and open the window for Owlicious and White Tip. “Sorry, guys, but I won’t accompany you tonight. I’m spent. Have fun though.” A quiet crow, a quick hoot and they were off into the beautiful night sky. I admired Luna's work and her beautiful moon for a few minutes before a particularly chilly breeze made me shudder.

I found myself wandering the hallways after that. I had concluded my little trip to the bathroom and was now uncertain what to do. Twilight was certainly fast asleep by now. Spike as well. The only inhabitants that were awake were gone and only I remained, with the very unappealing prospect of not being able to sleep again.

I had forgotten about that.

“Right. What now?” I asked in the empty, dark hallway. I walked around some more and hoped to get lost again for some reason, but with the new interior it was considerably harder. And so I stood before Twilight's bedroom. I considered my options. My own indecisiveness frustrated me and I pushed past with great effort. I opened the door and closed it behind me once I was in. Spikes’ snoring, albeit quiet, was still breaking the silence permeating the room. I walked over to the bed and stopped in front of it. It was actually a funny scene, I mused. Twilight was lying on her back, her wings tucked close, her mane a pretty mess sprawling across her pillow, her lips ever so slightly parted and her tongue hanging out the side a tiny bit. I wondered for a brief moment how she could sleep like that, but disregarded the thought. It would only serve to keep me rooted to this very spot for even longer. And I still needed to make a decision. Preferably before it became even creepier. I had basically snuck into her bedroom and was staring at her at night while she slept.

I turned around.

I would not let her wake up just so I could—

“Crap,” I hissed quietly as something sharp and pointy found itself under my hoof while I was slowly walking back to the door. I sat down and inspected my hoof, but found that it had not pierced the skin. A tiny splinter of ruby. I had my suspicions where that had come from and grumpily looked over at Spike. The little dragon was happily snoring away of course. Little scamp.

I craned my neck a little to look behind me and much to my dismay, a very drowsy looking Twilight regarded me with light confusion. “Go back to sleep,” I said and with a little more care inspecting the floor started to make my way to the door again.

“You don’t have to go,” she said. And just like that, I stopped. My resolve melted away and I looked back once more. “You can stay,” she offered and drowsily rubbed her eyes. “Please?”

Maybe. Maybe I could have refused in some way before that last word, but now? I hesitated only briefly before I turned back and climbed into bed. She lifted the blanket with a wing and a welcome and familiar warmth surrounded me immediately upon scooching closer. “Thank you,” I offered. I was not even sure if she listened or understood. She just smiled happily and almost crawled into me. And she once more buried her muzzle on my chest. I embraced her. I held her tight. And with her close, I felt at ease.

Just friends, it echoed in my mind.

Sure. You keep telling that to yourself. Maybe one day, you'll even believe it.

Her warmth seeped into me. Spike's little snores were almost as precise as the sounds of a metronome. And eventually, I drifted off.