Dreamwalker's Tale

It was both the best and worst feeling ever as I woke up again. On one hoof, it meant I had successfully slept again without the need to dreamwalk — which was great. And I was lying next to Celestia, which was even better. On the other hoof, I felt like my mouth was coated in something furry and I woke up because Celestia was subtly shifting as she tried to escape my embrace.

A single look towards the window told me why. It was still nighttime, but the sky was growing brighter again. Time to raise the sun. That was most certainly something I had to get used to or had to arrange myself with in some sort of compromise. I was a night owl by nature, getting up early was not meant to be part of my repertoire.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I teasingly whispered and pulled her back in for just a brief peck on her cheek.

“I need to raise the sun,” she replied equally quietly, but at least she let me drag her back for a moment.

“Now?” I asked with a hopeful undertone.

She turned around and smiled. Her mane was a tangled, limp mess far from the usual ethereal glory, her coat was ruffled and sticky in places… she was beautiful beyond compare. “No, but soon,” she answered. “And I usually prefer to get my morning routine in before I do that.”

“Hmmm,” I hummed to myself, “see, that’s an issue then.”

She still smiled as she raised an eyebrow. “And why is that?” Instead of answering her, I slowly shuffled my way below the blanket and once more traced a trail of kisses and nips down her barrel. “You cannot be serious…?” she whispered aghast. A couple of seconds later, I heard her sharp gasp. “Heavens, you are,” she breathed and let her head fall onto the pillow.

I did not know how long her usual morning routine took. I did know however that I would not have the extensive preparation time I had last evening. Of course that only meant that I had to be a little bit more aggressive right from the start.

It would have been a euphemism, if not a blatant lie, to describe her taste in that moment as anything I thoroughly enjoyed. Not after last night’s events and us falling asleep shortly after. But I could very much tolerate it. And her scent had not lost its enticing quality. Neither had the sound of her moaning lost its appeal. So it did not take long for me to get back into it and I enjoyed myself greatly as I licked her and occasionally pushed the tip of my tongue past her folds.

Without the anticipation and proper buildup, it took a while longer. Despite my tongue and jaw at some point starting to protest the notion, I did not mind much. Her voice was music to my ears and in the end, I felt more than rewarded as her legs twitched, she clenched shut and wave after wave of tremors ran along her beautiful body. Since it had gotten quite hot under the blanket, I did not dally too long and crawled back up. I lay down at her side and grinned very satisfied with myself. I gazed at my handiwork as she laid there, eyes closed, her breathing still a little bit erratic but steadying with every moment, while the last ebbing shudders made her sigh.

“You are staring,” she tried to chide me without opening her eyes. It lost a lot of its bite due to her incessant smile.

I quietly chuckled. “No, no, you got that all wrong. I am appreciating. Admiring. Relishing. And really, can you fault me for that? How can I not enjoy one of the most beautiful sights I could ever dare to behold?”

She giggled, shook her head and looked at me. “I am not quite sure what to do with you yet,” she replied after a deep breath, but her ominous answer did not worry me at all. “I need to raise the sun now.”

“Now-now?” I asked in jest and threateningly scooching closer again.

“Yes,” she replied almost forcefully, “Now-now!” And as I made to grab her and drag her with me, she yelped and fled the bed with a giggle so unrestrained that it made my heart do a little prance in its rib cage.

I laughed as I watched her walk towards the balcony. Of course without any haste, she was the graceful, regal Princess of Equestria after all. But I dearly loved that mare that looked a little bit frazzled and shot me a playful, happy grin over her shoulder. I knew that seeing this was something of a mystery for Twilight. The sun-raising part of course. And not because she did not understand how it worked. I was pretty sure that by now, she knew. But it was the summer sun celebration that had awakened a little filly’s fascination for magic and her undying admiration for a certain princess. But while I did admit that it looked impressive and she exuded this powerful, elegant aura when doing it… it was just another display of magic. For me, it did not hold the same appeal as for Twilight. And that was perfectly fine. I had other parts I cherished. That cheeky wink Sunny gave me right before stepping outside, for example.

Parts, right.

I silently chuckled as I did not want to disturb Celestia's concentration at this moment. She stood back from the balcony and closed the door a few moments later. I saw her shiver a little. Cold night air, having escaped the bed just recently… it gave me an idea. She made her way over to the door that led to her bathroom and less than a minute later, I heard her shower come to life.

I braved the cold beyond the bed myself now to sneak up to the bathroom door. I was admittedly arguing with myself a little bit — because I was basically creeping around. Again. Yet she had not closed the door entirely. And as soon as I widened the gap a little, welcoming warm steam clouds rolled out. A warm shower actually did sound great.

I snuck in, closed the door silently and stepped up to her. “Need a helping hoof?” I asked.

Fluttershy would have jumped out of her skin. Probably literally. But Celestia merely tensed up for a fraction of a second before she looked over her shoulder and shook her head while she smiled. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Well, I mean, you basically invited me in, right?” I countered grinning. “Half-open door, nice warm shower, letting me see you shiver… really, how could I not.” I stepped up and ran a hoof along her back. And I smiled as I saw her shiver again. She seemed so unrestrained. Last evening, the night, this morning. I was proud that she felt this relaxed around me. Soon enough though, she would step out of this shower, finish her routine and put on her regalia and horseshoes. And she would be Princess Celestia again. Fair and beloved, benevolent and immaculate.

I was getting greedy. And I knew it. Maybe even clingy. I should watch that, I decided, while at the same time also deciding that I could worry about that later. After the princess had reemerged from her chambers to rule her great nation. After I was left alone to my own devices again. Because I simply could not keep her to myself forever. Buuut… I could keep her just a teensy tiny bit longer.

“Could you bring out Sunny for a spell?” I asked her. I grinned a little lopsided as I took note of my accidental joke. It was a bad one, but hey. She raised an eyebrow at me, but complied anyway mere moments later. She must know that I‘m up to no good, right? Especially after how we had woken up. Yet here she was, shrinking down and losing her horn.

“And what will you—“ she started and immediately fell silent as I kissed her.

The warm water was still pelting us, driving away any remnants of sleep. It actually helped me reawaken the last vestiges of my mind. I let the kiss grow a little bit more passionate and slipped my tongue beyond her lips, pushing her with her rear to the wall as I drew her in closer. We both gasped for breath and I felt that same fire again that I had carefully fostered the previous evening. “Turn please?” I asked. My breathing already started to become somewhat labored.

It was a question. She could deny me. She could stop at any given moment. Up until now, I had not even realized how utterly afraid I was of pressuring her into something. Was I being manipulative? Was there even such a thing as a single conversation without manipulation? Wasn’t all interaction manipulation on some fundamental level? Was I trying to just squirm away from an uncomfortable answer by getting all philosophical?

I would have time to tear myself apart over that later. "You are insatiable," she softly chided while simultaneously blushing deeply. She regarded me for just a moment, her eyes trailing down my barrel, before she bit her lower lip and actually turned around, her dripping tail raised to the side and stuck to her flank. I could not help but bring my muzzle in first again, as it seemed that I just could not get enough of her. She did not mind much judging by her moans and I tried to watch her body language closely as I searched for a moment that told me that she was ready, as ready as I was. I felt adventurous and with the artificial rain still on us, I slipped my tongue a little higher and grinned as I heard her breath hitch. I took a moment to let her get used to it, slowly circling the muscle with the tip of my tongue, before I pulled back and carefully positioned myself behind her.

A little prod and she looked back. “That is not—“ she started and immediately stopped again.

Just say no.

If you don’t want to, just say no…

Celestia had a spine. I was pretty sure of that. Yet there was a moment when I started to panic. A part of my mind began to draw parallels between her and Fluttershy, probably because the whole ‘Element of Kindness’-thing and Fluttershy’s really unhealthy impulses to accommodate everypony with literally anything. I was about to pull back, my second thoughts getting to me, when she surprised me by actually pushing back against me.

I managed to brace myself in time, a deep moan escaping my throat as the tip slipped past. “Tight,” I softly groaned as I tried to get used to the feeling.

“Mhm,” she agreed and bit down further on her lower lip.

A moment was spent just remaining still. We collected our breath, relaxed, and the pressure lowered. I contemplated asking her if she was sure, considering both of us had hesitated, but before I got the chance to manage a straight thought, she cautiously started to move. “Oh sweet Celestia,” I gasped.

That was a widespread idiom of course. One that made her giggle for a moment as she heard it. “Indeed,” she let me know with a lopsided smile of her own.

It took us a short while to figure out a rhythm which was comfortable for both of us. We certainly had to be slower, more restrained. But that only helped to build up the pressure faster in the end, as growing impatience was driving me mad. “I’m close,” I managed to string together.

I felt her magic. It was strange being with a pegasus and yet she still had access to it. Maybe I would ask her how that even worked at some point. But most certainly not now. She was guiding my movement and angled my chin a little. I understood. I had closed my eyes to further wholly enjoy what we were doing, but she wanted to see. And I tried to give her what she asked for, prying my eyes open again. I looked at her, straight into her eyes as I grabbed her flank tightly. “Do it,” she almost commanded. With a final few pushes and still holding her gaze, I drove deeper than I had before and sank into bliss once more. She held me steady as the slippery wet floor certainly wasn’t any help with that.

I was panting heavily when I withdrew, the warm water feeling strangely cooling now. My legs felt a little wobbly, but a grin threatened to split my face apart. I walked a few steps to her side and quickly pulled her into another passionate kiss. A simple ‘thank you’ seemed inappropriate, so I was once more testing that theory about gestures being able to tell stuff. Maybe it worked.

“Am I now allowed to actually take my shower?” she asked with a sultry purr that honestly made me want to mount her again instantly.

I smiled even brighter. “If you manage to get out before I get funny ideas again? Sure,” I joked and levitated her shampoo over. “Here, let me help you.” I was trying to help. I swear. As much as I could swear that it was about the damn water. Helping her with her mane and rinsing her off afterwards somehow still became quite a sensual event, but at least I showed a little bit more self-restraint this time around. I still had a couple of questions to tear myself apart over later on, after all.

We exited the shower a while later, all signs and traces of our night and morning were gone. Celestia had canceled the spell and the only thing that could give away anything at all was the fact that she sometimes walked a little funny. Something I was not about to comment on and noted with a weird satisfaction.

Celestia used some sort of modified teleportation spell on me to warp me into my guest room and once again, I braced for vertigo and nothing happened. I instead immediately made my way to the door and down the hallway towards the dining hall. Where Celestia, emerged fresh as a daisy from her chambers no guard had seen her enter the previous evening, was waiting with Luna to share a meal. It was a perfect opportunity for me as well.

I sat down on the opposite site to Luna once I arrived at the table, with Celestia sitting on the head of the table. “Good morning Luna,” I greeted her. She seemed rather amused and in high spirits and for a brief moment, I wondered if she already knew something about the events of last night.

“Good morning Dreamwalker. How pleasant that you could join us. Have you slept well?” she inquired.

She was a trickster. A joker and prankster. I could not help but grin. “The night was a little short for my taste, not enough sleep, but well… that’s just complaining on a high level. I’m not used to these surroundings, you know?”

She turned her attention to her sister — including her increasingly mischievous smile. Luna continued her little interrogation. “And you, sister dearest? Have you slept well?”

Knowing that lying to the former Element of Honesty, despite her extensive practice with Canterlots elite, was doomed to fail from the start, Celestia sighed and nodded. “While I have slept well, my night has been a little on the short side of things as well.”

“Is that so? How curious,” Luna replied and almost managed to subdue that silent chuckle completely. “Anyway.” Smoothest conversational transition ever. “Dreamwalker, you have my ever-lasting gratitude for that thing we discussed yesterday.”

I almost spit out my tea. “Mhm,” I replied and tried hard not to cough.

“And what might that have been?” Celestia obviously asked.

Luna gave a knowing smile and a deflective shrug. “Oh, just Twilight being Twilight, apparently. She seems to be toying with the idea of rebuilding the old castle and I was considering giving my input on the matter. In addition to that, she has started the research and creation process on a pair of artifacts that, if successfully concluded, might be worth its own research paper or two. Maybe even a book for your precious Archives.”

“Luna was nice enough to grant me the guest room that I totally stayed in for last night,” I chipped in and grinned like an idiot as Celestia just took a deep breath and her sister snickered under hers. “But considering what is still left to do, I sadly can’t stay for long. I was thinking that I might just abduct her, throw her onto the train and keep her hostage until our arrival in Ponyville, and then feed her precious brains to Twilight.”

That train of thought had been derailed surprisingly fast. Both looked at me, perplexed for just a moment, before Luna giggled and Celestia smiled. “That does seem like a fitting end for such a nosy little sister,” the latter agreed.

“We like to see you try!” Luna challenged me.

I just grinned in response and continued to nibble at my donut and sipped my tea. I tried to ignore the vile scent of Luna's coffee with the same practiced ease I usually could rely on when Twilight enjoyed hers, but for some reason, her specific blend was a little more intrusive. At least that meant that I was not about to stuff myself too full.

I tried to ease myself into the background a little bit, to leave the sisters some space for their usual banter, which soon enough restarted again. I did not know how long exactly I would ‘abduct’ Luna, but I could imagine it being weird for Celestia, maybe even a little bit difficult. It was the first time after her return that she was leaving the palace for—

No, that wasn’t even right, I reminded myself. Twilight had told me that she stayed for a day or two extra after every Nightmare Night. Strange. Was it just another interference from other iterations? Times where Luna had never left the palace upon her return?

“—was just insufferable,” Luna got worked up. Her agitated voice drew me back from my musings. “We told him the exact same thing we had told him the night before: He will not be granted a different answer just for asking us instead of you!”

Celestia gave a sigh. “I honestly do not understand why he has to be this insistent about it. At this point, I am willing to believe that he just wants to prove a point. Maybe this whole ordeal is about him demonstrating that he is capable of extorting ‘favors’ from us? To gain some favor with the other nobles?”

“We care little,” Luna replied with an indignant huff. “If he shows up again, we will have him ex—“ As soon as she started, Celestia — albeit smiling — raised an eyebrow at her. “—iled,” Luna finished with less enthusiasm.

Her sister’s smile turned into a grin for just a couple of seconds. “Maybe we start somewhere lower down on that ladder. Open his eyes to the prospect of switching into a higher tax category.”

“Taxes?” Luna echoed in incredulity. “Taxes, sister?” She got riled up once more.

Celestia just giggled and nodded. “You would be surprised how effective this has turned out to be in the past.”

“Effective, maybe,” her little sister shot back while crossing her forelegs over her chest. “But it certainly sounds less fun.”

I smiled to myself as I followed their exchange about… some pesky noble, apparently, but the words themselves drifted away once more as I found myself occupied with my own musings and observations. Celestia had a certain glow to her that she had lacked last afternoon when she entered her study. I liked to think that at least. Yet her night had been considerably shorter and more tiresome than other nights. I took it as a good sign, as much as that glance she shot me every now and then, always accompanied by a warm smile. Was she making sure that I was still here? Or was she just trying to make me aware that she knew I was staring at her again?

Either way — as long as she did not complain, I had no reason to stop. And I did love to look at her. With this company and at this time of day especially. Luna was tired after her night, ready for a good night’s rest… or day’s rest, in her case. And that made her a little bit cranky. But in the morning, shortly after dawn when coming together with her sister for breakfast, Celestia was at her peak. She seemed so light-hearted at these times. Those were the moments I wanted to expand upon.

As Luna cleared her throat, I blinked and returned from my thoughts. “Hm?” I once more established my eloquence.

“I was asking if you are done,” she repeated and pointed to my empty plate. I could swear I had, like, half a donut left...!

Their plates were just as empty, apart from a few crumbs. I furrowed my brow. It had not felt like this much time had passed but breakfast had apparently come to an end. “I, uh… sure. Yeah, I’m done.” I realized that both would stand up soon and thus continued with a little bit of haste. “Celestia? I would… I would love to visit you again, but I can’t keep loaning bits from Twilight or she will own my very soul before I actually start the training. Not that I’m worried what Twilight might do with my soul, as we are still speaking of Twilight. She would probably just freak out about the responsibility of keeping it safe or something like that. Anyway, getting sidetracked. I would love for you to visit sometime. I was thinking we might be able to rope Rarity into an impromptu painting session.”

“Rarity is a painter as well?” Celestia replied with surprise.

“Well, not exactly,” I admitted with a smile. “She creates her own patterned fabrics with dyes and stuff, so I’d wager the talent — and interest — might be there. And it could be fun.” And it would be another opportunity to find some more common ground with Rarity. A nice little bonus on top of spending time with Sunny. After all, there had been no promise that it would end after the painting session. I was very much thinking of taking her home with me afterwards. Twilight would surely be thrilled to have her over for dinner and I wouldn’t mind the company at night.

“I am awfully swamped with paperwork,” Celestia replied with a quiet sigh, but it took just a short moment of reconsideration — and an almost venomous glare from her little sister — before she perked up again. “But I think I will make some time.” I smiled happily. “Maybe in about two days,” she added with a wink and I could not help but chuckle. She was a pony loving her routines after all.

“I’d love that,” I replied and stood up first. I stepped up to her and embraced her and I inhaled her scent once more, enjoyed her warmth, how close she was, how—

I managed to throttle my yelp considerably despite my surprise as she lowered her head and bit me. It was more than just a surprise though. It had actually hurt a bit, but despite that, I dared not to pull back. “What was that for…?” I whispered.

And in a whisper she replied. “Something to remember me by.”

I quietly laughed at that. Maybe she did understand after all. I had failed to explain it after the incident at the lake, but here we were. When I did pull back, I sneakily kissed her neck a few times and fought hard to resist the urge to lunge forward and kiss her outright in the open. The castle staff would have a field day if they were to see it. “Don’t take too long,” I warned her with a happy smile before I stepped away, lest the guards would start to get ideas after all.

Luna, on the other hoof, had watched the entire exchange with amusement and now that her sister was free again, she stepped up and embraced her as well. “Have a calm day, sister. And dare not to bite me, or you will suffer the consequences!” While both Luna and Celestia shared a sisterly giggle, I stood at the side and blushed furiously. And I subconsciously rubbed the spot on my neck and still felt it prickle a little bit. Which only brightened my smile.

Saying goodbye was hard, even if it was just for a couple of days. But we managed and soon enough, Princess Celestia, regal and graceful as ever, was on her way to open Day Court, while Luna and I were slowly making our way through the castle.

“The last time I have seen her glowing and exuberant like that was a long, long time ago,” she let me know. “I thank you for that.”

I grinned and once again puffed my chest out in pride. This time, it felt more deserved. “Thank you too. For helping me out. I think she just needed the… uh… company.”

“Right,” she replied with a silent giggle. “I must admit though. I had not expected this to move along quite so fast. My sister usually tends to be a lot more reserved.”

My grin dimmed down to a small smile, but I was still in high spirits. It was just a more serious topic. “I know. She has been depriving herself of a lot of stuff for a long, long time. And with her up on that stupid pedestal, nopony really tried to crawl through all those defensive layers. At least nopony with her happiness in mind first and foremost. To be honest, I had hoped that it would work out, of course, but even I wasn’t so sure that it would. That’s one of the reasons why I asked for that guest room. I was perfectly prepared to sleep in there, I swear!”

She smiled. “Be at ease, Dreamwalker. I believe you. I am happy that my sister is happy, and she seems to be very happy indeed.” We turned again and closed in on the main doors when she suddenly opened an unremarkable door on our side and stepped in with me. It was a very small and mostly empty chamber. Seeing my confusion plainly written on my face, she started to explain. “My sister has always had a knack for most facets of magic. Her immense reserves were what allowed her to establish the widespread use of gold for enchanted items. While I am perfectly capable of using her transformation spell, I find it to be quite taxing and hard to perform. Mine is a more subtle art.”

A cobalt blue shimmer wreathed around her form, seemingly shrinking her down and changing her color palette. A light blue coat not dissimilar to Rainbow Dash’s with a silvery mane. Her flank bore the Ursa Major star constellation as her cutie mark. Subtle, she was not.

Once her magic subsided, she appeared as a ‘regular unicorn’. Though as I carefully prodded her, I quickly noticed her larger frame still being there, it was just invisible in a way. “Illusion magic,” I stated and she confirmed it with a nod.

“Now we can go.” Right. If we were to use the train like regular ponies, it would probably be in our best interest to look like regular ponies. Come to think of it — why were we using the train again?

I had been joking about that. And truth be told, I had been planning on that. But she had a chariot, which was faster, easier and cheaper.

Bits!

“I forgot my saddlebags in her study,” I blurted out.

She just grinned and conjured them onto my back. “I know. I went to see how things were going later that night, but you two had already left.”

I was not sure how to feel about that, so I just decided to leave it as it was and thanked her again. We exited the small chamber and shortly after, the castle as well. We walked down the streets of Canterlot in the early morning hours. She remained silent for a while. It was a comfortable silence and we continued to walk side by side.

But as time wore on, I could see those clouds gathering over her head, figuratively speaking. Something was coming. “Last night gave me an opportunity to think,” she remarked. I gave a nod to signal that she had my full and undivided attention. “Do you love my sister?”

It was supposed to be the easy part, I could tell. The obvious question with the obvious answer that was supposed to slowly lead to the more complex, more difficult parts. Yet I already struggled to just say ‘yes’ as she was clearly expecting. She obviously noted my hesitation and I could see how quickly that started to worry her. So I gave myself a mighty shove and just started to talk, not quite knowing myself what words would fall out my mouth this time. “I find it difficult to answer that with the certainty that I would like to answer with,” I explained. Stick to the truth, I heard Applejack urge me. I tried. I always tried. “This is not just a simple crush. I’m a hundred percent certain of that. And it isn’t just desire either. I am in love with her. But there is a difference between being in love and loving. A difference I sometimes find hard to define. Funny enough, Twilight struggles with this as well. I like to think of ‘being in love’ as this small seed sprouting into a very fragile young plant. It needs so much tender care and it appears to be the greatest thing ever. Everything about it is exciting. But ‘loving’ somepony… that seed has grown up into a sturdy tree. Up in its branches, there is still a lot of excitement to be found, but it's spread out a lot further and down below, there is this massive, sturdy trunk to rely upon. It’s less flexible. Change doesn’t come as easy or as often. There are flaws in how it grew, due to hardships and conflicts. It’s a product of its nature as much as its nurture. That alone would be enough conflict, I think. We just started. It is incredibly exciting. And we had had no time for hardships or to overcome them yet. This would usually lead me to believe that I am ‘merely’ in love with her. But I bear memories of lives past. So many of them, fragmented and incomplete. Memories of durable friendships tried and tested. Memories of both laughter and tears. I remember hardships. I remember her flaws. I have encountered them before, and dealt with them. And I will gladly do so again, because she is more than worth it. But… I still have not decided. I have yet to decide what to make with these memories. Are they allies, albeit unreliable ones? Or are they enemies, albeit somewhat useful ones? I feel like I would do her a massive disservice to just… assume she’s that other Celestia, one of them, or all of them, and go on from there. I want to treat her like a new pony that I have never met before. I want to explore her. Grow closer to her. But at the same time, I already feel close and I can’t just ignore that either. You ask me if I love your sister, and the most honest answer I could give you is this: In one way or another, I loved all of them, every time. And I am in love with your sister. Is that enough?”

She had listened intently and not interrupted me once. Because unlike me, she hated doing that herself as much as she hated suffering it. She remained silent for a moment after I had finished, mulled things over in her head and finally gave me a single nod. “It will suffice for now,” she replied and we shared a warm smile. However, her smile faltered after a moment and mine followed as I remembered that this had just been the prelude. “I will have to ask some… uncomfortable questions. I cannot back down now. Not after what you explained. Are you ready?”

Apprehension filled my very being. I half-expected to know already what this would be about. But as she had said — the previous night had given her enough time to think about stuff. Night Court, while livelier these nights, was still no comparison to Day Court, probably giving her plenty of breaks to dive into whatever occupied her thoughts. I took a deep breath, tried to steady my nerves and braced myself. We were still ways off from the train station and ponies passed us by every now and again. Nopony really stuck around of course, which meant that even if somepony overheard something, it would be but a fragment with no context.

“Probably not,” I replied, “but shoot anyway.”

She nodded. “What about me?”

I gave a deep sigh. There it was. She really was not pulling any punches. And the obvious follow-up was: “And what about Twilight,” I added. After a moment of hesitation, she nodded. I wagered that the latter question was a bit uncomfortable for her as well, seeing how she was prone to jealousy. Despite the background noise of a bustling city, I could hear her wings rustle for a moment. “As you can probably imagine, I face a very similar problem.” Well, she had said that she would not be able to stop now after what I had explained. I had brought up part of the reason why this had become a little bit more urgent, it seemed.

“Why do you favor her?” she asked me in a subdued, rueful tone. She had a guilty conscience. She was not interested in me per se. At least I thought so. But from her point of view, I had more or less identical situations regarding three mares and I preferred her sister, of all things. Something that hit too close to home, I presumed.

I stopped walking and ignored the pony grumbling something as they stepped to the side to get around me. She stopped as well as soon as she noticed me missing on her side and turned around to look at me. “I don’t,” I replied quieter than I had wanted to. We had been married for forty years, kitten. You don't forget that. I shook my head and sighed. I remembered at least half a dozen marriages. Minimum.

“But—“ she started and that word, that lonesome word, made panic crawl up my spine. I had made a decision. It felt right. But I knew deep down that this decision was not set in stone.

“Please,” I pleaded, begging her. “Please don’t…!” She quickly noticed how distraught I suddenly was and in an instant walked those few steps back and positioned herself at my side again. And she pulled me against herself with a wing. “Don’t make me choose,” I pleaded as my voice started to crack. “Because I can’t.”

“I apologize. I did not mean to frighten you. And neither do I want to force anything,” she tried to reassure me.

My heart was racing, frantically beating against my ribs. Let me out, it seemed to scream, Let me run for the hills! Standing on three legs, I pressed one of my hooves to my chest. It just wasn’t calming down again. Let me out, let me out, let me out! I firmly planted my hoof on the ground again and closed my eyes.

Celestia, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. While reciting it in my head, I saw that beautiful smile she had gifted me this morning. It helped soothe my frazzled nerves.

It was a ritual. Deep intakes of air, holding it for a moment, and controlled, slow exhalation. While I repeated my little mantra in my head three or four times.

When I opened my eyes again, I needed a moment before I dared to look up to Luna. “Sorry. I… uh… panicked.”

She shook her head and tried to smile despite her worry. “It is alright. Nothing I have not seen before.”

Right. Twilight. I gave a shaky smile myself. Once I felt steady enough again, I urged her to start moving again. There were two or three ponies watching us with concerned expressions and I was not about to explain myself. “Fact is,” I tried to restart the conversation, as it was not done and I did not want to leave Luna hanging with something that obviously troubled her mind. “I love you. And I know you. When I dare to listen, I can clearly hear you moan my name right before you cry out. I can’t just pretend these memories don’t exist, because they obviously color every interaction I have with everypony I once knew or remember. We were married. We had a son. I can't just... but at the same time, these ponies don’t know me. You don't know me. Yet. I’m a total stranger to them and I constantly struggle with that. I try to tell myself, over and over: I barely know you. And you barely know me. We might have hit it off quite well once I stopped being a coward and stopped hiding from you. But we hit it off well each and every time. We get along all the time, every time. And it’s driving me nuts sometimes. Same goes for Twilight really. I seem to gravitate towards the same ponies each and every time. It’s just a matter of compatibility I think. But with so many lives reinforcing certain friendships and details and general broad strokes, it becomes impossible to really start over, to really start anew.”

“Do you want that?” she interjected. Not interrupted, of course — but when I took a break to breathe and calm down and sort through my thoughts to find what I wanted to say next, she jumped at the opportunity.

“Yes and no,” I replied honestly. “I feel like it’s unfair to expect you to just go along with what I’m telling you. It sets expectations and tries to enforce a certain chain of events. But at the same time, my memories are overwhelmingly positive ones. Happy ones. How could I not want those times back? Relive them, or at least get something close to that happiness? It worked before apparently. Why fix what isn’t broken? I want to try it with Celestia as much as I want to try it with you and Twilight: To get to know you. To let you get to know me. Grow closer, together. As friends, and maybe more.”

Once again, she was silent for a while. “It would not be the first time my sister and I share a lover,” she started and I just… blanched and stopped again.

“No,” I replied and almost violently shook my head. “Luna, please, no. Don’t start that. Not now. I am working hard to push past that thought, to keep it where it belongs. For now anyway. I cannot decide and I won’t let her suffer for my… I don’t know… idiocy? Do you even realize how laughable that sounds? There’s this nobody from who-knows-where who’s dating three of the four princesses.”

“Oh, now we are suddenly princesses again?” she shot me a portentous look.

I groaned. “You know what I mean!” Luckily, I had enough presence of mind to start walking again to avoid another scene on the streets. “You don’t love me. You can’t. I’m not even here for three weeks and in that time, I have met you on even fewer occasions than your sister.”

“I will not argue your points,” she replied.

It sounded sooo much like there was an entire second half of that sentence missing. “… but?” I inquired.

I was surprised to notice her troubled expression. Not all parts of this conversation were apparently meant to be uncomfortable for me. “I can be quite possessive,” she cautiously started to answer. And I remembered. Twilight. “And what was seen cannot be unseen. I have visited your dreams and I know how close you are to Twilight.”

That made me wince. “I’m sorry,” I replied, not even sure what exactly I was sorry for. “We are just friends.”

She gave an incredulous huff. “Friends that share a bed on a regular basis, yes, I am aware. Perfectly normal, friendly behavior.” It had not been a conscious decision to step a little bit away from her. But I had angered her, it seemed. Or frustrated her at least. And I regretted my first instinct when I saw her being hurt by me. It wasn’t anything big. Nothing that could not be fixed in a heartbeat. But it had been there and as far as I was concerned, that had already been too much. “I am sorry,” she apologized. “I did not mean to get so worked up over it.”

I jumped over my own shadow and I closed the distance again and I carefully leaned into her. I even dared to nuzzle into her mane. “I’m sorry. I should have known better and left her alone, but I just can’t seem to bring myself to do so. I’ll try harder. I promise.”

I seemed to be able to calm her down a little. We turned another corner and the train station came into view. She took notice and slowed our walking pace even further. Luna put her wing over my back once more and sighed deeply. “I am grateful for the offer, but… I do not want you to.”

“You don’t?”

“No. She has taken you into her heart, and there you will remain,” she replied. “You two have become close in a short amount of time. She cherishes your company. Truth be told, I suspect I might simply be jealous. For years I have come to Ponyville to spend the night in her beautiful castle, to spend as many hours with her as I could, yet I failed to work up the courage to act on my feelings. You make it seem easy.” This time I was the one huffing in disbelief. “Despite the troubles your memories give you, they help you as well. You said so yourself. Let me be frank, if you allow?”

I wanted to see this through. I needed to do so, for both our sakes. “I still think you should have nothing to fear from a bumbling fool, but... sure, go ahead.”

“You are right — I barely know you,” she began. “But from what I have seen so far, I would not mind changing that. And as selfish as that might be, I think I would feel better about your closeness to Twilight if I shared in it.”

I almost laughed. Almost. But I was prepared to show some self-restraint and did just that. I instead allowed myself a small smile. She sounded so much like the Luna I once knew and loved. “I don’t mind any of that really,” I replied. “I was actually looking forward to rekindling our friendship once my training starts and we get to spend more time together. We had... it sounds like so much fun to patrol the dreamscape together. Care for dreamers, laugh away nightmares, ease the worries of those troubled minds. And I would love to watch the stars with you two again. I’m sure you have a lot of stories to tell about constellations and their history. Reading together, board game nights, there’s a lot we could do. And I hope we will do it again. But none of that makes us lovers. Neither you and me, nor Twilight and me.”

She scoffed in amusement. “Give it time.”

Now I actually laughed. “What makes you so sure about that anyway?” I half-accusingly asked her.

She sighed deeply once more. “The way she writes about you. The way you talk about her. It just seems inevitable. And I know myself enough to realize that, one way or another, I will not allow myself to be left behind again.”

Well. She was the mystic. I did not share her conviction on this, but I did not have to. It was strangely freeing to talk about it so openly. And judging by her expression, I was certain she felt the same. However, this still posed some problems.

“I still can’t, though,” I replied. I mulled over what we had talked about and there had been a lot about possibilities and eventualities. About options. “I have just started a relationship with your sister. And I am earnest about it. I don’t know her stance on all this and to be honest, right now? I don’t want to bring this up. Any of that. Let me establish our relationship first. Let it grow a little, until it has a solid trunk to fall back on if things go awry. In the meantime, I will try to go easy on Twilight. I was hoping, with things finally smoothing out a little, that I might be able to sleep on my own sometime soon. I will try anyway. I do that a lot… trying. I will start my training and we will get to know each other and Twilight will have her friends and studies and magic doodads to work on. You might be right in a way. Give it time. Give us time. All of us. It might work out. I hope it will. Might get really messy though. And if that happens… I don’t want to juggle more than necessary at that moment. Let me get settled, start the training, calm down… and then we can find out if this will turn into a fun kind of messy, or a nasty one. Sounds good?”

She giggled a little and gave me a warm smile. “You have a funny way with words, Dreamwalker. It does sound like something I can live with. I am usually not exactly a patient mare. But maybe I can take a page from your book and… try.”

I grinned and leaned into her a little more. “Not a patient mare, huh? Whooo boy, will Twilight be in for a ride,” I joked.

We finally arrived at the train station. I paid for my ticket back and Luna gave the clerk some sort of signature or something, I could not see it clearly. I just noticed how his eyes went wide and he stuttered his best wishes for a safe trip. Maybe she had informed him who she was? I did not care enough to ask and instead sidled up to her side again. The train pulled in soon after and we got in. She took her seat and I took mine, which would have been fine with me if not for the discontent look she gave me.

“Did our conversation alienate you?” she asked straight away.

“… uh, what?”

“Why are you sitting there?” she clarified.

I looked at the seat. A perfectly normal little train bench. Enough for two ponies sitting down on their bellies, or three if they got a little cozy and sat down on their haunches. I looked over to her, sitting opposite of me, and she patted the empty space beside her with a hoof. “Oh,” I realized, and blushed in embarrassment. “Actually, I can’t. Travel sickness. I can’t sit with my back to the direction we’re traveling in. It upsets my stomach.”

She looked surprised but a quick decision was made and she moved over to my side and sat down beside me. I smiled happily as she laid her wing over my back. “I did not know such a condition existed,” she admitted.

“Oh. Well… I guess you wouldn’t, I mean… when was the last time you took a train ride, right?” I replied. That was actually a good question. “Actually, is this your first train ride?”

She grinned excitedly and clopped her hooves together. “Indeed!”

Oh boy. “Heh… well, we’ll see then…”

“See what?” The train lurched forward and slowly gathered speed as it exited the Canterlot train station and it took us only a couple of minutes and some switching of seats to find out that Luna now perfectly understood my preference to sit down in the direction of travel. “This is awful,” she replied, still a little pale.

I could not help but chuckle. “Yeah. Do you want to know what’s even worse?”

She looked at me with a horrified expression, as if I was about to tell her of even more terrible fates awaiting her on this train ride. But I instead opted to take her mind off of things. Distraction did wonders for travel sickness — as long as it was the right kind of distraction. “First off, it gets better if you look out the window. Don’t focus on the landscape in the immediate vicinity, that’ll only worsen it. Watch what’s further away. And what I meant was teleportation. Your sister teleported me yesterday and much to my surprise, everything was fine. It even felt nice in a way. But every single time Twilight teleports me? I feel so much vertigo that, most of the time, I find it hard to keep the contents of my stomach down.”

Luna looked at me with surprise and then started to giggle and nod. “I can imagine,” she replied.

“You can?” I furrowed my brow.

“Yes. You seem rather sensitive to this to begin with and from what I gathered, Twilight is not used to teleporting others. When we were young and still learned to use our magic, my sister teleported me a couple of times. She thought it was funny but stopped immediately once I puked all over her precious mane. And tail. And her favorite brush.” The memory seemed to amuse her greatly. Probably something she used to tease Celestia to this very day.

“Well, she teleports her friends around sometimes? They seem fine,” I countered.

She just nodded again and smiled. “As I said — you seem to be sensitive. Everypony reacts differently to being teleported. Some don’t feel anything at all. It is normal for magic users to be more sensitive to it.” That meant that she and I shared another trait, apparently. It was not exactly a good one, certainly nothing to be thrilled about, but it made me smile nonetheless.

“Okay, so we both have to ride trains and carts, and wagons, and maybe even hot air balloons?... in a specific way. And we both don’t deal well with being teleported. I feel like we’re making a lot of progress here,” I mused and shortly after quickly chimed in with her giggle.

“It appears to be a decent start,” she agreed before mulling something over and addressing me again. “Dreamwalker? I must admit, I had an exhausting night and these are usually the hours where I would recuperate. If it would be fine with you, I would like to take a nap at least. If the train will let me, that is.”

“Oh, sure,” I replied. “Being tired actually helps with travel sickness as well. Sleeping is great, if you can. Skips part of the journey.”

I repositioned myself a little to offer my side as a pillow of sorts and she gladly lay down. “Thank you.”

I stroked down her mane with a hoof — which, given the illusion, was an interesting experience — and smiled as she relaxed. “Sweet dreams, Luna.” She mumbled something unintelligible and within another minute or two, she was gone.

The train rattled on and I stared out the window myself now. I slowly sank deeper and deeper into my thoughts. At some point I showed my ticket to the conductor passing by and it seemed good enough for him to not wake up Luna for hers.

Slowly but surely, the landscape changed. Back to that rural area with wide fields and soft hills that I had grown so incredibly fond of. And soon enough, we started to slow down as we pulled into Ponyville’s train station. “Luna,” I whispered into her ear. At least I hoped her ear was around where I was whispering. That illusion really started to become a nuisance. Seeing as I had no luck in waking her up, I carefully shook her with a hoof.

“Tis too early for this, sister mine. Five more minutes,” she quietly groaned. But she eventually cracked her eyes open again.

“I’m sorry, but we arrived,” I let her know.

“Already?” She blinked with bleary eyes and looked out the window to recognize buildings passing by at a slowing pace.

I had woken her up a minute or two before we actually came to a standstill, so that she had some time to fully wake up. I had severely underestimated just how necessary that vile morning coffee of hers was. When we left the train, she was half awake at best. “Come on, let’s head for the castle. Maybe you can lie down again once we’re there.”

The idea seemed to appeal to her greatly, because a very, very drowsy Luna was about to cast a teleportation spell. My eyes shot wide open and in a panic, I pulled her head down and let my tongue dart forward. For a brief moment, I licked along a short part of her horn as I had gotten lucky enough to actually hit it. Then again, ‘lucky’ might not have been the right word after all.

It did what it was meant to do. Her concentration got utterly shattered in an instant and the spell fizzled out harmlessly. She yanked her head away, a blush spreading in her cheeks. “What was that for?” she asked, now suddenly wide awake.

“Heh, eh, sorry,” I stuttered. “You were about to cast a teleportation spell… half-asleep…”

“I… I know?” she replied in disbelief. So maybe I had misjudged her abilities. Maybe she was perfectly capable of pulling that off, even in that state. But could she really fault me for not risking that?

“Sorry, I just… I was under the impression that casting while not being ‘fully there’, due to whatever reason, is just asking for very bad things to happen,” I admitted. Twilight had taught me exactly that. Time and time and time again. Never cast drunk. Never cast drowsy. Would I get away scot-free if I blamed it on Twilight then?

“It can be,” Luna admitted meanwhile. “But you could have just… said so.”

“I would have gotten a single syllable in, at best,” I tried to disagree.

Despite her disgruntlement, she was willing to move on from that moment of awkwardness. “Let us continue… walking.” As her blush succeeded and we left the train station, she snickered quietly. "I cannot believe that licking my horn, of all things, was your first impulse..."

I decided to stay very, very quiet.

We walked through town and in an effort to dispel the remnants of that awkwardness, I told her about what we saw. Bonbon’s confectionery offered some incredibly tasty sweets. The mail office where Derpy was working. We passed by Stonewood, who did not seem to recognize me in his haste. It mattered little — it gave me a chance to recount my little ‘adventure’ redecorating the castle in cahoots with Spike. “So you are telling me that roping others into your dastardly plans is normal for you?” she shot with a teasing smile.

“’Dastardly’? Really? I would’ve understood ‘shortsighted’. Even ‘eccentric’. But ‘dastardly’? Come on, you give me too much credit,” I replied with a lopsided grin. “Also, I should note that you might get into trouble with Spike over that. He’s the one owning a fake mustache and he loves to twirl it while laughing evilly.”

“We should keep a close eye on this one, then,” Luna replied with a chuckle. “A dragon discovering his mean streak at such a young age might pose a threat as much as it poses an opportunity to straighten him out with the power of—“

“Friendship?” I interjected with a smirk.

“Yes. Certainly. Let’s go with ‘friendship’.” We both broke out in laughter a few seconds later.

We entered through the main door once we reached the castle. I stopped and listened, but could not hear anything so far. That was obviously no sign that we were alone, given the size of the building. “They are probably in the living room,” I let Luna know and we walked over there. When I opened the door and we both stepped in, I was surprised to see the room in a somewhat decent state with Twilight sitting on the sofa. “Oh wow, cleaning this all up must have taken ages,” I muttered.

Twilight jumped a little and turned around. A wide smile immediately spread once she saw us. She stood up and came over. “Luna! How nice to see you,” she greeted the princess who, unbeknownst to me, had at some point gotten rid of the illusion. They embraced just that tiny moment longer than was strictly friendly. And I smiled contently.

“It is lovely to see you again as well, Twilight. And I am glad that Dreamwalker convinced me to come here. This way, I do not have to wait for the next Nightmare Night,” Luna replied with a smirk.

“Oh, did he now?” Twilight turned to me with a grin before she stopped just to remind Luna of something. “I told you, though: You are always welcome here. I meant it. I would love to have you visit more often.”

Luna sported a faint blush due to Twilight's enthusiasm and nodded. “I will. I can assure you, I most certainly will.”

The implications made Twilight heat up a little as well. She turned to me once more and embraced me tightly. “I’m glad you’re back,” she quietly greeted me.

“I told you,” I equally quietly replied and nuzzled her neck, “I will always come back to you eventually.” I reciprocated her embrace and allowed myself a deep inhale. The library around us, her scent… but a hint of midnight breeze and fruity tea. While the first reminded me of Luna's presence, which was both in itself a reminder not to go overboard with enjoying Twilight's closeness as well as it revived memories of a home we had shared together as a family, the latter surprised me.

Having grown up at Canterlot Castle under the watchful eye of her surrogate mother and teacher, Twilight usually preferred herbal teas instead of fruity ones. I was the one favoring the latter. If it had to be tea at all. I looked over to the table and indeed, there were four mugs neatly sitting on it, and the tea pot was still steaming.

“Do you have guests?” I asked in mild confusion and at the exact moment that I heard voices growing louder and the other door to the living room cracked open a small gap.

I was slow on the uptake. Too slow.

Twilight sidled up next to me, putting me between Luna and herself, almost sandwiching me. I did not mind, it actually felt quite familiar and quite welcome, but my mind was racing to identify those voices. One of them belonged to Spike, clearly. The other one was male, playful, older, and the third one female, carried by an almost songlike quality.

Oh no.

The other door opened fully, Spike walked in with a smile. He had not noticed us yet. And behind him appeared none other than Shining Armor. And Cadance. Princess Cadance.

Oh no.

I looked over my shoulder in rising panic, but a cobalt blue magic surrounded the door and closed it.

Ah, nooo, betrayal…!

“You!” came a shout from the other side of the room. My head jerked around and I faced a very upset looking Cadance staring me down.

“Save me,” I begged Twilight in a whisper. Her wing extended, laid itself over my back, warm and reassuring… and quite tight… holding me in place…