Dreamwalker's Tale

Hi. My name is Dreamwalker. And my story began with… puking, sadly. Puking and trembling legs and a mighty disorientation and loads and loads of vertigo. Everything seemed to spin and wobble. Colors constantly bled into one another. Sounds mixed and matched together in disharmony, varying in frequency and volume. I smelled grass and flowers and dirt and rain and it made my stomach churn even more. My attempts at standing up resulted in me undignifiedly crawling sideways until my legs, once again, revolted against my mental commands, shuddering and twisting in new spasms. Whenever I tried to look at something, anything within my immediate surroundings, my head started to spin horribly, everything was out of focus and I was quickly forced to close my eyes again, pressing my lids shut with force as if that would somehow help.

So… yeah, my arrival was well-underway and it was just… just peachy. Everything was peachy.

I wasn’t sure how much time I spent writhing on the ground. I felt grass and dirt rub against my coat. But only on my right side, since I somehow did not figure out just yet how to… flip over. So my right side was getting damp and cold and my left side felt like it was getting cooked. Slooowly. Almost carefully. By a midday sun, as was my best guess.

There were trees somewhere nearby. I couldn’t exactly tell the distance, but I had ‘seen’ thick brown trunks or what I believed to be trunks and dense green canopy. And I could hear birds. Right now, with my hearing all messed up, I really hated those birds. Their chirping drilled into my brain and hurt what felt like a sensitive and probably important area.

So, I did what I could. I did what, somewhere in the back of my mind, a snarky little voice whispered I could do best: I gave up.

I stopped struggling. I stopped any attempts to flip over or stand up or open my eyes and I just… laid there. Aside from my erratic, but slowly stabilizing breathing, I must have looked like a corpse.

I did not know anything, initially. I tried to remember. Where I was. How I got here. Why I was here in the first place. And then, with dread creeping up my spine, I dared ask the even scarier questions. Like: Why my body failed me so utterly. Or… you know… who I even was.

While my body calmed down over the course of… minutes? Maybe hours? I could not tell, really. While it did that, I tried to remember. Something, anything. It felt like… fishing in a pond, with bare hooves, searching for certain stones on the pond's bottom. I could see them, but once I reached for them, the water got all muddy and I lost track. Sometimes, I got lucky and found something anyway. Not always what I was aiming for, but at this stage, I wasn't picky.

My name was Dreamwalker. Basically the only real, tangible information I started with. I could obviously name things. Grass. Birds. Trees. Equestria. Oh, that one was interesting. Ponies. Pegasi. Earth ponies. Night sky, sun, tea, water, rainspooncloudwhitetip—

Stop.

That got a little out of hoof.

Carefully, I tried to open my eyes again. Juuust a tiny gap. The light was bright, it still somewhat hurt in my eyes, but I powered through and they adapted after a couple of seconds. I had hooves on my forelegs, as far as I could tell. Being a pony. Nice. Good. Claws were useful, but I very much preferred hooves.

Also, there was a certain something at the upper edge of my field of vision. It seemed to protrude from my forehead. Maybe I got hit by—

Oh boy.

What if there was something in my head? Something that was decidedly not meant to be there? Could I have been hit by… a sharp rock or something? Thrown by… a freak Everfree storm cloud?

Unicorn.

Oh. Right. Those.

It was a horn. My horn. Because I was a unicorn. Yeah, sure. That made so much more sense.

Buuut. I couldn’t help but recognize those trees as the Everfree Forest anyway. Mostly because the trees there grew wild and untamed, and they looked the part. The more I tried to focus on those trees, the more I felt like I was close to getting another one of those shiny rocks from the bottom of the pond. And then, it happened. I would later come to call those instances ‘flashes of insight’, mostly because that sounded cool. It was a horribly mixed up series of mental images, mangled dialogue and other impressions - sensory overload in way too short of a time to process it all in detail. It did not so much ‘answer questions’ as it imbued some unspoken wisdom. Evil trees with scary faces, evil flowers with trickster nature, evil manticores and evil cockatrices and evil enchantresses which would put me in evil trances…

Wait — actually, Zecora was quite friendly. She was a zebra. An alchemist of sorts, as far as I could tell. She lived deep in the forest — surviving and thriving, somehow — and made potions and remedies. Maybe I should try to crawl my way to her and ask if she had any idea how to restore memories? Thinking about how her answer would probably rhyme made me chuckle. I immediately regretted my life choices as the migraine made itself known again.

My throat was sore. My voice was almost non-existent. Everything burned. It pushed tears into my eyes, so I closed them again and tried to calm down.

That was when I heard her hum. The melody was off-kilter, which was strange, because I was certain that this voice — a voice I vaguely started to recognize — was indeed a beautiful singing voice. I tried to look in the direction of the humming, towards the Everfree, when another flash hit me. This, I understood, was some kind of weird… cycle. It was obviously hard to tell where the ‘start’ of a circle was, but I had been here before. We had been here before.

The humming drew closer. She paid her surroundings no mind, having left the Everfree behind her. This area was still close-by, sure, but it was safe for the most part and she was anything but defenseless. Ponyville was close. I pressed my hooves against the dirt and the grass and this time, managed to lift myself off the ground. Carefully, I craned my neck and looked over my shoulder. There were houses in the distance. Some of them I could even name. Carousel Boutique. Town Hall. Rainbows stupid flying palace of clouds and, well, rainbows. I knew this town. I knew these—

And then she just walked straight into me.

It was more like a soft bump, really. She was startled and started to mumble an excuse for not paying any attention, something about how she did not expect anypony to be around here this time of day, but she cut herself off. Because I was, once again, lying on the floor.

It felt familiar by now. Once the aching muscles grew tired of complaining and the dampness seeped into my very being, lying down in the dirt wasn’t all that bad, really. I sighed heavily and under her concerned gaze, I tried to stand up again. Wouldn’t do for her to see me like that, even if it was a little late for that notion. So, I got back up and I tore my gaze away from Ponyville and the ground and dared to look at her.

Mulberry coat. Saddlebags over her back, emblazoned with her cutie mark. Her wings seemed a little jittery. I could make out some clay vials in her bags. Zecora. There was so much… worry in her eyes. Her beautiful violet eyes. I felt like drowning. Breathing became harder and harder. My heart was thumping against my ribs, trying to break out. Twilight was asking me… something. Surely she was asking if I was alright, because I could only imagine what I looked like right now. Disheveled mane, ruffled coat, glazed eyes. I stared at her, dumbfounded. I stared at her moving lips and… remembered.

Next thing I knew, I clumsily scooched forward, pulled her closer with a flick of magic and pressed my lips to hers. I should have noticed how she froze up, how her muscles tensed. To be honest, there was a lot concerning this moment that started with ‘I should have’. I kissed her. My Twilight. With all my love for her, all my desire for her, all my desperation for her, my hope, my relief. I was longing to be reunited with her. She was here. She was still here. I remembered her. I remembered so much…

Then she withdrew with as much force as she needed to get me off of her. Considering my weakened state — it did not take much. She pressed one hoof against my chest and slightly pushed. Hey, at least I did not topple over again. However… did I mention that my journey started with puking my very soul out? Yeeeaaah. That might have contributed to the face she was making.

Didn’t change how her face flushed, though. It looked cute. She mumbled something, and then got her bearings and her facial expression and body language changed considerably. There was a mixture of shame and embarrassment and, well, obviously… anger.

It took me a moment to consider what I had just done. Yes, I remembered her. Fond memories, front-loaded with love and desire and I was currently the only one bearing those memories. Because try as I might, looking into her horrified eyes, I could not quite see my Twilight in there. She was Twilight Sparkle, local book horse and magical powerhouse, but she was not who I remembered. Because this was not a perfect loop, they never were, and details changed every time and even if they would not have, I was back at the start. And I was a random stranger to her.

Seeing how she took a step back once, and again, how obvious it was that she seriously considered slapping me with a hoof… I could not find words for just how much that hurt.

Seeing that, plainly written on my face made her halt for a moment. Just a moment. No matter how much this pain clouded my mind, there was an opening and I had to use it. I just had to. It started with her, I knew that. It always did.

“I know you,” I blurted out.

She nodded slightly. “I do not know you, though,” she shot back and a soft raspberry glow enveloped her horn.

Right. Princess status. I remembered a time where she was just… just Twilight. A unicorn of impressive magical talent and prowess, but a unicorn nonetheless. She had been smaller back then as well, had she not?

Putting my observation aside for later, I started to panic. I knew her. She wanted to avoid this awkwardness, this imminent conflict. Being Twilight, she could do so without problem. All she had to do was to teleport away. I could guess what spell she was preparing. So what if she did it? What if she just vanished, in a small little pop, a flash of light and the smell of ozone? I could go to Fluttershy, I thought. But that would be wrong. It would have been the wrong order. No. No, it had to happen. It had to happen here, now, with her!

So, slightly panicky as I was, I blurted out the next best thing that came to mind. Because that had helped me out sooo much the first time. “Time travel!”

She held her charge. Which was a good thing, and a bad thing. Bad, because I knew for a fact that holding a spell mid-casting was exhausting. She was aiming for a quick resolve either way. Good, because she did not pour more energy into her teleport and gave me a few short moments to explain myself.

“That is impossible,” she stated matter-of-factly. “All time travel spells are in the Star Swirl-wing of the Royal Archives in Canterlot, accessible only with the express permit of Princess Celestia.”

“Or Princess Luna. Or Princess Cadance,” I tried to supply. That only earned me a withering glare. Right. Not helpful. So, in those precious few seconds I had, I remembered Applejack's advice. Pony up and face the facts head-on! There were probably nicer ways so say that, but why bother with all that decorum. It was honest advice and I would have expected nothing less from her. Honesty then. Fine. “I… have no idea how I got here. Or… who I even am. Kind of. But I do know you, Twilight. I remembered you from the first moment I heard you humming.”

She grew a little self-conscious about that, a tinge of red returning to her face. But… she discharged the energy around her horn, much to my relief. I let go of a breath I had not realized I even held. She was still… ‘displeased’ did not quite cut it. She was pissed. Yeah, that sounded about right. But she was also intrigued. My predicament seemed to be a strange one. Nothing new for Ponyville so far. ‘Weird’ was the new normal around these parts since she was sent here by Celestia. Her eyes drifted back to the Everfree and I could not fault her for that train of thought. “As far as I know, I didn’t enter the forest,” I offered. “But… I did come to my senses in its immediate vicinity, so… who knows.”

“You claim you know me. Prove it.” She still sounded indignant, in addition to the obvious disbelief and wariness. But I couldn't help but smile. She gave me a chance. She always did, didn’t she? Because we had been here before.

For a moment, I watched her. Her wings rustled in mild agitation every now and then. She was focused, but wary of me. That was fine. I could fix that. I hoped. “Spike eats sapphires the most and rarely ruby, but he actually prefers ruby. He abstains from them because he doesn’t want the taste to ‘wear out’. Owlicious eats mice and those first weeks after you got him, you freaked out about telling Fluttershy because of all her mice friends. You tried on several occasions to get a new mane style done, but even with Rarity’s help, it just wouldn’t stick. You broke into the Royal Canterlot Archives with Pinkie in very form-fitting black suits to steal one of those time travel spells. You stole your first kiss from your foalsitter Cadance, curiosity of the youth and all that, which was the first time you thought about your sexuality and potential attraction for both genders. You prefer your pancakes with honey instead of syrup. And you make this adorable, high-pitched whinny right before you cli—”

Funny. The world was sideways again. That happened pretty fast. Also: Ow. I felt like there should be a sizable, obvious hoofprint on my cheek. Admittedly, I absolutely deserved that one. The bright, wide smile tugging at my lips however told me right away that I would shamelessly do it all over again, given the chance.

Oh well.

I heard her stammering, muttering an excuse that did not really sound all that rueful. But as I had said: I did concede that I had deserved that one. So it was all fine by me. To be fair — I had fully expected her to punch me when I brought up her first kiss. As far as I could remember, I only learned of her deep dark secrets after years and years. Maybe it was wrong to just spill it like that. Probably.

Yeah. I should apologize.

“Hey, I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. If it’s any consolation, you only told me after many years…?” I dared to look at her while I once again attempted the arduous task of standing up. She, however, just stared at me. She had her difficulties accepting that she might have told me — anypony, really — at all. But how else could I have known? I saw the gears turning. Mind-reading? Divination spells? There were always other possibilities.

I wobbled to my hooves and stood. Somewhat steady, for the moment. It took some time until she collected herself enough to bring up the obvious first question. The one to which there were two answers and I could only give the less satisfying one. “Who are you?”

I forced a little, wobbly smile onto my face. “My name’s Dreamwalker. A, uh, pleasure to meet you.”

“Right,” came her immediate, flat response. After a moment, she sighed and even giggled a little. “That is a weird name, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. ‘Only Luna should be capable of walking the dreamscape.’ Heard that one before,” I countered with a tired smile.

Her eyes grew bigger. “Wait — you… you can actually do that?”

“Yes?” I half-asked. I didn’t know, per se. But I highly suspected it. After all: Dreamwalker. The name came with some heavy implications, did it not? And Equestrian names were weird like that. Otherwise, that would be like… having ‘Applejack’ for a name and not having to do anything with alcoh—

Oh. Right. Maybe I should choose another example here.

Still, I nodded with a little more vigor and enthusiasm as was good. For my vertigo, mainly. But I was proud to claim control over my stomach. I did not throw up. Again. Of course now I had to brace myself for the inevitable. Hovering low with her excitedly flapping wings, she grabbed my shoulders and grinned like the madmare she could be when faced with something like this. It was an adorable sight to behold. She rattled on about experiments. Studies. Thesis. Something this, something that, studying magic. Because I was different from Luna, obviously. She could not just canter up to a Princess and tell her to follow her into the basement laboratory of her place for intense study sessions.

Somepony could overhear and draw the wrong conclusions, after all.

And she complained about the lack of written material about dream magic. There were some mentions of Luna's capabilities back in the olden days, but they were few and far between and these days, well… Luna was still in the process of reintegrating herself into society. Other scholars would probably run into the same issues as Twilight did. Adding to that, Luna was rather… possessive. I could imagine quite well that she might not even have wanted to share this knowledge with the general public. Or anyone, really.

Might have had something to do with privacy concerns as well. That had not been much of a topic of concern back in her days, but in modern times?

Twilight calmed down after a few more moments (and rants), finally realizing how I was subtly rubbing a hoof along my neck and trying to keep my wobbly smile intact. “See,” I started meekly, “I’m happy that you’re happy. Really, I am. But there’s a little… uh… problem. I would love to help in your research, but right now, I have a couple of urgent issues. Like…” I looked up at the beautiful evening sky. We had not talked that long, had we? Didn’t matter much, I decided. “A roof above my head.” My stomach returned with a vengeance, reminding me of other bodily needs. “Oh. Right. Food. Food would be nice, too. And I don’t have any bits yet, sooo… I should probably get my ass into gear and find… stuff.” Like a job. My eyes drifted down as my stomach rumbled again. “Hm. I suppose I could just… graze.” The grass looked unappealing, but it would do in a pinch.

Another flash. A short one, quick and simple, thankfully. I could not help but smile and count down. Three… two… one…

“That should not be much of a problem,” she started. “Spike could have a guest room ready in a couple of minutes and he usually makes a little too much for dinner anyway.” Because he is trying to keep your alluring curves in good health and shape, Twi. Bless his little heart.

I loved her. I had loved her previously, some time ago, some circles ago, whatever. But the qualities I loved about her were still present. There was still caution in her eyes, obviously. Experience is a cruel teacher and she had some bad ones. However, she was still trusting. She was still willing to give me a chance. She was still kind and friendly and nice and I just could not help but feel familiar warmth spread throughout my body. She might not have been my Twilight. But I was pretty certain that any Twilight was irresistible.

Curiously enough, the impulse to get closer to her seemed rather subdued for the moment. I looked her over. Her shapely legs, her still occasionally ruffling wings, her toned rump and back, her neck… but there was no urge to kiss her, to nip at her skin, at all those familiar weak spots my vague and jumbled memories told me about. How peculiar.

“If it’s not too much of a bother… I would love to!” I accepted her offer as gracefully as I could manage.

She raised an eyebrow. “You expected this,” she merely noted. My smile grew a little sheepish. Nevertheless, she just shook her head and walked past me. After a moment, she stopped and looked back at me. “Are you coming?”

I hurried up to get to her side and fell in step with her as we walked back towards Ponyville. A town I loved almost as much as the pony walking beside me. “So, tell me. What do you remember?” she started her little interrogation.

I sighed and tried to answer this question as well as all the inevitable follow-ups as best as I could. “It’s less ‘remembering’, in most cases anyway, and more… a flood of impressions? Like… I stood there and all of a sudden, there are different voices speaking over one another, smells, tastes, something brushes against my fur, I see a couple of seconds of some scene or another, it’s all… as if someone took a couple of sometimes barely related memories and put them into a blender. And then force-fed me the result. And yes, it’s as enticing and pleasant as it sounds.”

She scrunched up her nose a little, but her analytical mind was already racing. After a couple more questions, she eliminated regular old amnesia as one of the possibilities. I would not know — my talent was not anything related to medicine. Got a scrape? Pour water over it and put a bandaid on it. Done.

“If we find the source of the issue and can resolve it, maybe we can even send you back?” she thought aloud.

I knew that it was just idle musing on her part. I knew that. And yet…

“No!” I yelled. I snapped at her with such force that somewhere, a couple of startled birds flew into the sky loudly protesting. I looked at her, stared her down almost. I was breathing heavily, my hooves dug into the ground like I would make my last stand here on this dirt road and my mind swam in panic. Horror and panic. She was taken aback, I saw how her ears pinned back against her head, saw her shrink away from me, but for a precious few seconds, I could do nothing about that. I could do nothing in general. I just stood there, breathing hard.

She recomposed herself quicker than I could. A hoof touched my shoulder. I glanced at it. Mulberry fur. What a nice color. I traced that leg to a very worried looking pony. “I… I’m sorry,” I mumbled. Almost whispered. I started to shrink, almost physically, and averted my eyes. My muscles relaxed and were quite vocal about their displeasure regarding the sudden tenseness. It burned all over again, just like it had done at the start. When I looked back up again, I felt tears sting my eyes. I forbade them from leaving, and they obliged. It did not help my vision at all. Everything was blurry. The whole of Equestria was drowning.

I blinked a couple of times to get myself under control again. “I can’t,” was all I told her. All I gave her as a reply. And I was so immensely grateful when she made it quite clear, by nodding once and returning to my side, that at least for the moment it was all she needed to know.

I could not fathom where that had come from. The suddenness of my own emotional outburst left me somewhat shocked and even more drained then I had felt before. I could not wait to get into a proper bed and just end this lousy day. I knew that better days were to come. I knew that with the same certainty that a new dawn would come. But right now, thinking straight became harder and harder.

We resumed walking, albeit at a slower pace. I could not help but think about what had happened. Why the sudden outburst? There had been no flash of insight, no discernable memory, just… creeping, deeply rooted, existential dread. Like… the endless void between the stars in all its inky blackness could not be as cold and lonely and unforgiving as that place. And I didn’t even know ‘that place’. Heck, I didn’t even know with certainty that there was a place to go back to. She had asked me a lot, and I had answered as thoroughly as I could, but we still did not know anything about me or why I was here or what had happened. Time travel did not exactly seem likely.

“Where are you going?” came her voice again. Softer and quieter than I would have liked. But that was probably at least partially caused by the physical distance between us, her standing a couple of feet away from me. Huh. I looked towards her, then turned my head and looked down the road where I had been walking towards before. I knew Ponyville. Like the back of my hoof. I could have walked these streets blindfolded, so sure was I.

“Uh… home?” I answered confused.

She looked down the street and furrowed her brow. After a short moment, she shook her head, and a tinge of sadness lingered in her eyes. “The castle is this way,” she just told me and resumed walking at a slow pace.

But the library…

Another flash hit me. Hard. It knocked the wind out of me and made me struggle to keep standing. My head spun, the vertigo returned with a vengeance and I closed my eyes in an attempt to stop the incoming tears. I heard an explosion that wasn’t really there, but it rattled my bones nonetheless. I choked on smoke that did not fill my lungs, flinched from heat that did not singe my coat and smelled the burning wood of books and leaves and furniture and… a tree. Cold ashes mixed with dashed hope and buried memories.

For a short moment, I choked again. This time, it was not because of any imagined smoke.

It was our home.

No. No, apparently… it had been our home. Once upon a time.

A castle then. That sounded more decadent and enormous and so absolutely not like Twilight. For a moment longer, I looked back down that road. I would have to go there someday soon, I knew that. Just to… to see it. To separate false memories from new reality. I tore my gaze away and trotted after Twilight. The loop is always the same, a tiny voice in the back of my head told me, but details change. I just was not sure if I would call that a ‘detail’.

“You don’t want to go back… even if there would be a ‘back’ to return to,” she said while I fell in trot with her again. “And given your reaction, I am inclined to presume that there is, in fact, such a place. Or time. So… what do you want?”

The question gave me pause. It was a good one, was it not? Then again, the answer seemed simple, at least on a surface level. But there was more to it. Because things could never just be simple. “I want a home. And I don’t just mean ‘a roof over my head’, but a place to be at home. I want to make my own bits. Somehow. You taking me in for now, as a guest, is a kind offer and I’m absolutely willing to show my gratitude however I can. But I suppose, at some point, I should work towards something more… long-term? I want my friends back. That includes you. And then… I think I’m going to… help them.”

That sounded nice, did it not? Make a home, become self-sufficient, and create my own little family. Because what else was a circle of friends if not the family you choose? A smile creeped up her face, accompanied by a slight blush as I explicitly included her in my… let’s call it a friend-wish list. Really, I could not help but smile. The start of this day had been a little bit more tumultuous than I had liked. But she was here, still here, smiling, walking me to her home.

Then, out of the corner of her eye, she looked at me curiously. “Help them?” she asked.

I nodded. “I know them. I know that I can help them. I’m not implying that I’m the ‘be all end all’-solution to all their problems, far from it. And certain things are… different than I remember. But I know them. And I feel like I know… stuff… that can… I don’t know… enhance their lives? Their love lives? Make them happy? Happier? Something like that.” I fell silent for just a moment, mulling things over. “They have their friends and lives and each other. They have their community and support. Jobs and homes. They have learned a lot over the rather… adventurous last years.” Well, that, on the other hoof, sounded rather ominous.

Twilight seemed to come to the same conclusion. “Who exactly are we talking about, if I may ask? And… you still have not answered me. How do you intend to help?”

I chuckled lightly. “Yeah… I haven’t, haven’t I? I’m talking about… well, I guess ‘your’ friends. Because as far as I can remember, they have been my friends as well. Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinks, Spike, Derpy, Roseluck, Lilly,… sheesh. Half of Ponyville, to shorten the list. I don’t think that I’m going to meddle with all of their lives. Just… giving nudges here and there, you know? Shamelessly abusing my superior interdimensional wisdom, or something.”

It struck me as odd that she remained silent for a while after that. Twilight was a good listener, sure. But silence can talk and this one whispered of awkwardness. So I looked to my side, looked at her and realized she was blushing furiously. For a moment, that had me stumped. I went back, thought about what I had said. I could not imagine that she reacted so strongly to me giving Pinkie Pie a pet name. Maybe she was reading too much into that? But then I remembered the kiss earlier. And my proclamation that she, in fact, was on my friend-wish list as well.

Ah. Right.

I could not help myself and chuckled silently. She was adorable and if I let myself, I would come up with a lot more flowery prose to describe her. But I did not want to embarrass her. Not here, anyway, where we were in the open and others could — and indeed did — see us. While we walked through Ponyville, I had politely nodded here and there to greet those who I could name or remember as friends, but who did not quite know me yet. So, everypony, basically. Now I added the occasional wave, as Twilight had subconsciously slowed down a little and was falling behind.

She was beautiful. And no, I was not about to start again. But I had to face a certain dilemma I was presented with. She felt so incredibly familiar, yet strangely foreign at the same time. Her allure was unbroken, but I found my desire for her to be lacking. I had enjoyed that kiss — as far as I had been able to, anyway. But now, looking at her receding blush, I had no impulse to repeat that. My head had started to make a distinction between this Twilight and my Twilight. A distinction that greatly confused my heart. And while details might have changed, I had a growing concern that my rather intimate knowledge of her may become a problem further down the line.

I knew what she wanted. What she liked. What she tasted and smelled like. How it felt to snuggle up to her. I knew her frazzled morning mane and how she sometimes kicked in her sleep.

I sighed deeply. Yeah. This would be a problem. But it was a problem for another day. Today, I counted myself amongst the luckiest stallions in Equestria, because just like Fluttershy gathering up a lost little chick and taking it home to dote on it, Twilight had found me and decided to take me in as a guest. And as far as I remembered, there were far worse fates than that, really.

Spikes’ pancakes were great.

I slowed down to be on par with her again. I did notice her looking over to me from time to time, just out of the corner of her eyes. Her blush had died down considerably, but it did not quite leave her face entirely. Finally, as we had cleared most of Ponyville’s town center and more populated areas, I spoke up. “So, uh… not that I mind an awful lot, but… you’re staring. Something on your mind?”

She took a moment to collect herself. After a silent sigh, she raised her head. “You mean it?”

“Mean what?” I replied.

“That you want to… you know… play matchmaker?” This time, she had herself under control. Good for her.

I thought about it, but… there really wasn’t any doubt within me. Anywhere. “Yeah. And it’s not really ‘playing matchmaker’, I… basically already know who I’m going to nudge to whom. There are certain… hm… harmonies that are hard to ignore once you’ve seen them. And while they might not know my name yet… I still feel like they are my friends. I know that must sound weird, but it’s true. I already know so much about them, share so many… admittedly vague and unhelpful memories I can’t recall in detail, but… there’s history. A lot of it. I can feel it. I want to uncover it. I want to restore it. And above all else… I want them to be happy. Or as Pinks would put it: I want to see them smile, smile, smile. Huh, come to think of it, I would’ve expected her to barrel straight into me by now.”

“She is at the rock farm, family visit,” Twilight replied. But while I had explained myself to the best of my abilities, a small smile had bloomed on her lips. At this moment, for her, I was probably still a weird mixture of a creepy stranger that went around kissing mares and her newest pet project to study. Maybe I did not do right by her with this assessment. But whatever the case, at least she seemed to believe me that I honestly, deeply cared for those ponies I considered my friends. Then again: Princess of Friendship. Supposedly, she knew a thing or two about that.

It was getting darker. The sun sank towards the horizon in the west and the sky was filled with a colorful spectacle. It was both pretty and serene. “Whoever reaches the door last is a rotten egg!” I yelled and just sprinted ahead. I had no idea what was going on in my head. I could not even defend action with ‘it sounded like a great idea at the moment!’ — because it didn’t! And I clearly wasn’t thinking. At all. Adding to this momentary lapse, I didn’t even know where to run to. A castle, she had said, sure. I guessed it could not be that hard to find a… giant… massive… crystalline… wow.

Wooow.

Yeah. That.

This place was massive. I kind of forgot about the race and all that, slowed down to a trot and stared ahead. In the setting sun, it was quite a sight to behold. It freaking sparkled!

The closer I got to its doors, the more I grew suspicious, looking back over my shoulder. I was still fighting my aching muscles and was running on an empty stomach. As a unicorn, no less. Twilight, however, was nowhere to be seen. Either she had just scoffed at the idea of a race, or—

I returned my now-glare to the castle doors. She looked so smug, standing there, patiently waiting, and smiling at me. Cheeky little mare.

Sure. Little. I trotted up to her. “You cheated,” I accused her.

“I did no such thing,” she defended herself. “You did not specify any rules, which means you did not clarify any bans on, for example, teleportation. Or magic of any kind, for that matter.”

I knew that. She knew that. We stared each other down for a moment. It felt thrilling, intense… and then we both giggled. “You know, I should probably have thought of that,” I admitted, pointing to my horn. “But to be honest… I haven’t quite figured out how to use that darn thing yet.”

And there it was again. That passionate fire in her eyes. There was somepony she could teach. That was almost as good as learning and unraveling the mysteries of the universe. I chuckled a little more and we entered the castle. I immediately felt… lost.

It sure was a castle. Grand and open and… empty. Nice to look at, yeah, sure. Crystal floors and crystal walls and crystal columns supporting a crystal ceiling. I had a stupid joke about Sombra being her interior decorator on the tip of my tongue, but chose to swallow it down. She looked down the hallway dejectedly. Adding to that, Sombra could have been a risky topic. I did not know yet if he had already emerged, if they had defeated him already, if King Sombra was even a thing in this loop.

If he wasn’t, Princess Cadance and Shining Armor should be in Canterlot, right? And if he was, they should be in the Crystal Empire. Sometimes, random snippets like those drifted to the surface of the pond without much fanfare. I was grateful nonetheless, picked them up and stored them away for later. I was pretty sure that, Twilight being Twilight, this castle sported an impressive library. A single history book should be enough to find out if the Crystal Empire was a thing.

I let my eyes wander. No shelves. No books or pictures, framed or otherwise, no carpets, no nothing. It was empty, which only further increased this aura of emptiness and loneliness. She seemed to notice my first impression. “I am… I have not lived here for long, it is… a work in progress.” It was a weak excuse.

I just nodded. Come to think of it, I could not even know for sure if it was Lord Tirek who blew up the tree. Could have been anything else, really. Parasprites, Everfree monster, second changeling invasion… or would that have been the third? Ah. Who’s counting? Blasted bugs.

At least I knew for sure that this certainly was not a good topic for dinner discussion. And the mere thought of dinner instantly made my stomach rumble. Quite loudly. She giggled and began to walk again, calling for Spike. The little dragon came running; I heard his feet on the floor, tap tap tap tap tap, and then his head poked around a corner. He looked at Twilight with a wide smile, but then he noticed me and his brow raised a little. “Who’s that?”

Twilight stopped, looked back at me and after a moment of silence, a small smile graced her lips again. “His name is Dreamwalker. He’s a friend. He will stay with us for a while, so I would appreciate it if you could maybe prepare one of the guest rooms for him? After dinner?”

“Uh-huh. So… why’s he staying?” Well, wasn’t that inquisitive.

I just shrugged and tried to help Twilight out. “I might know fancy magic stuff she doesn’t, which drives her mad with envy, obviously, and in return she might teach me how to actually use my horn for more than opening cans, so that I learn to use and cast that fancy magic that she shamelessly wants to steal from me. Also, if you could maybe, please, make some of those awesome sandwiches you do, I’m sure Twilight won’t mind if you take one of the smaller rubies from her totally-secret Spike-reward-chest that she stores at the bottom of her dresser in her bedroom.” That should do it.

It was hard to restrain myself, to contain my mirth at how Twilight gaped at me when I ‘accused’ her of such vile behavior. And then she groaned in frustration while a very pleased, very happy looking Spike left no time to object and ran away chuckling, throwing back a giddy “Sure!”

I mean… I did say ‘please’, right? I walked over to Twilight, stood beside her and asked her wordlessly what was wrong.

“Why? How did you know where it was?” she groaned again. “How do you even know that there is a dresser?”

“Well… I mean… you have to store your dresses somewhere, right? Rarity would behead you, laughing maniacally, if you would dare to just throw them over a sofa or let them lie around on a bed or something barbaric like that.” I was pretty sure I was right. My description of a rampaging Rarity gave her pause for a moment, until she blinked those pictures away and once again seemed frustrated. With me. And/or what I had done. “I… uh… I’m sorry?”

“He had not figured it out yet,” she half-explained. There was a pregnant silence for a couple of seconds until she continued with the other half. “After moving in here, he did not know where I put it.”

“… oh.” I gave myself a little push, almost literally, and bumped my shoulder against hers, smiling at her when she looked at me. “I’m sorry. Really, I am. But you’re a smart cookie, I’m sure you’ll figure something out. And this place is massive enough to hide half of Ponyville, so it shouldn’t be too hard.”

Maybe my smile was infectious. I actually quite liked that idea. She smiled back at me, nodded and then proceeded to lead me to the… to a room. It was hard to give rooms names in here. On the way here, she explained a little bit about the castle, showed me several other rooms — an impressive number of unused guest rooms among them — and tried to come up with something, anything, to say about several of them. And she kind of, sort of... failed? I was not really surprised that some of these rooms were just empty space. She had some ideas what to fill some of those with, but her list of ‘rooms that could be useful to have’ was quite a bit shorter than the list of actually available rooms.

“Spike could be granted a comic book gallery, you know?” I tried to offer. She snorted at that, blushed a little while mumbling an excuse and then looked at me. Her brow raised itself as she noticed that I was being serious. “What? I mean, think about it. You don’t really know what to do with all these spare rooms anyway. Use them. Use them for something. Anything. Whatever comes to mind. Rarity needs a new showroom? Well, these crystals have an interesting way to interact with light, maybe she could work with that. Or offer Pinkie a new baking supply storage room. You know how much sugar she uses up in one week, right? A single room and she could have a years’ worth stored in here. Plus the added bonus that your friends would actually need to come by from time to time. Even if times are difficult, spare time is hard to come by, they’d be around every now and again. A few hectic minutes while running around like headless chicken are still more than nothing? And if you ever actually need those rooms… you could just empty them again. Seriously, I think it’d be a neat idea. If I were Spike, that is. Because, to be honest, I’m less into comic books and more into book-books.”

And once more, her eyes lit up. “You read?”

I chuckled again. “No, I just stare at letters until they offer me their wisdom out of fear that I might eat the book itself.”

Again she furrowed her brow in disdain for such a barbaric idea and weakly jabbed my shoulder. Still, I couldn't help but notice that she had an older brother. “Ow.”

“What do you read?” she continued her investigation.

“Weeeeeell…” And that kept us busy until dinner was ready and Spike called for us from… somewhere. But Twilight knew her way around this place, so everything was fine and I would not starve on my arduous journey. Obviously, I could not really name many titles. But I was surprised to find that I could, in fact, name some. That was more than I had expected. Which was less surprising was the realization that some of those books I had supposedly read I could name, but didn’t remember what they were actually about.

Twilight knew. Of course. And she was all too happy to tell me. Until we arrived at dinner and her smile grew into something more predatory and wicked and she leaned back, daintily nibbling at her sandwich and asked me in the sweetest voice to please explain to Spike how I knew her. And surely I knew him as well, did I not?

Cheeky little mare.

I could almost hear him vibrate in his seat. While I was loathe to admit that I forgot most of my table manners once food was served and I dug in like a pig would at its trough, the food was delicious and definitely worth the incoming torture. So — mouth full and chewing with the occasional appreciative hum — I dared to look at Spike and the floodgates immediately and enthusiastically swung open. Apparently, he was now convinced that I was a time traveler and could tell him all about the upcoming villains and his future great deeds and how he could woo somepony dear and special to him.

Right. I stood by my previous statement. Those were damn good sandwiches, worth this noble sacrifice.

“So, how would I go about… you know… impressing somepony?”

I sighed. Again. “Spike, that’s not… that’s not really how this works. Whenever I ‘remember’ something — and I use that term loosely here —, it’s more like… like my brain is flooded with a weird and often somewhat incomprehensible mixture of impressions. Smell grass, taste sugar, see a beautiful night sky and hear several voices from several memories that should’ve been divided by years of life. It’s more like… fractures of different lives flash before me. Heh. Flashes of insight, if you will. The name sounds kind of cool.”

It was a little disheartening to see his shoulders slump as his hope of an easy fix slowly drained away. “That… sounds like it really sucks.”

Blunt, but honest. “It does, sometimes. The smaller ones I don’t mind as much. They have kept coming every few minutes since Twi found me. But…” Should I really go on? I had already mentioned the smaller ones and I actually had one while we were discussing this. Things that had not happened quite yet, I was pretty sure. But then again, it was what I tried to do, was it not? Nudging my friends along. And Spike was a dear friend indeed. So I mustered my courage and soldiered on. “I’m trying not to be rude here, but there’s no… easy way of saying this. You’re young, Spike. Very much so. And dragons go on to live for thousands of years. They age quite slowly. I won’t tell you that she’s out of reach. Because quite frankly, I don’t even know myself if she is. However, there’s something I do know for a fact. You yourself have already been… noticed. There’s someone else vying for your heart, you’re just… laser-focused. You don’t see it.”

That made him pause for a moment. “Wait… what? Who is it?”

I chuckled to myself. “Yeah, no. That would be a little bit too easy, now. You’re a smart cookie. And most ponies don’t give you enough credit for how observant and mature you can be. I’m pretty sure you can figure that out on your own, given time. That is to say, if you even want to. I mean… opening up to that idea would mean accepting that maybe, just maybe, she isn’t the one any longer.”

As Spike fell silent and his face contorted in efforts to figure this riddle out, Twilight reentered the conversation and took it upon herself to continue her interrogation. Curiously enough, she asked me about her own adventures. Things she had done, things her friends had done. I could answer most of the time. I could even supply some interesting facts she herself did not know about. At some point, the sandwiches were gone. And the conversation slowed and dulled once again.

Spike took that as an opportunity to excuse himself, taking the empty dishes with him towards the kitchen. Twilight and I remained seated for now, waiting. Or rather, she was processing… stuff… and I was waiting for her. At some point a little later on, Spike emerged at the door once again, with a small ruby in his claw. “I’m going to bed…?” he asked cautiously. Twilight recognized that tone in his voice and looked him over, noting the gem.

But she did not go back on her word. Or mine, rather. She just smiled and nodded. “Have a good night, Spike.”

He grinned happily in return. “Good night!” And his head vanished. After just a couple of seconds, it returned. “And, uh… Dreamwalker?”

“Hm?” I just answered in a show of great eloquence.

“You’re cool. Good night.” I was a little nonplussed for just a second. Enough time for Spike to vanish again, chuckling to himself while holding his precious gem close. A tasty treat before bedtime. I sat there looking at the door and smiled. I was welcome here. Accepted by both, for the time being. And for a moment, I cautiously allowed myself to be… happy. Tired, but happy.

“Come on,” Twilight said after a moment. “We can make another pot of tea, take some cups and move to somewhere more comfortable.”

“Sounds lovely,” I admitted. “Right behind you.”

I called it the ‘living room’. For all intents and purposes, that is what it was used for. Officially, it was part of the castle’s library. She shot a magic bolt into the fireplace, which sparked to life and immediately gave off a pleasant warmth and light. We settled on a sofa nearby and with little effort, she took several dozen books off the shelves that lined the walls of this room. She sorted them into neat little piles on a table nearby and took two of them, giving one to me. For a moment, I just stared at the book in front of me. Right. Reading. I love that. So… how…?

I just shrugged and tried to take the levitating book with my hooves. If earth ponies could do it, then I should be able to as well, right? After some awkward fumbling around, I… held the book steady. And I realized: I would not be able to read like that. Of course I could put it down onto the sofa itself, open it up, turn pages with a hoof, that was all… possible. But her book still floated in midair and she would not have any problems reading like that. Because she used magic. I was a unicorn, was I not? Once again, I crossed my eyes to look at the protrusion of my horn. How does one use that thing?

It took me a while to notice how she observed my progress. She looked oddly worried.

“Mind if I check something?” she asked.

“Nah. Go ahead.” I did not know what she wanted to check. Or how. But I didn’t mind either way, because I simply trusted her. She smiled in understanding and cast something. Her horn glowed for a couple of minutes and her eyes darted about, following lines and waves and whatever it actually looked like for her. She was scanning me. Searching for something. Finally, when her horn dimmed down, she was not… well, she wasn’t worried anymore. But she looked so… apologetic?

“If you’re going to tell me that there’s Pegasus magic in me and I should’ve sported wings instead of a horn and I messed up this badly, seriously, I’m going to cry you a river. Just as a heads up.” I had tried to lighten the mood and judging by her small smile, it worked. Just not as good as I had hoped. So something really was up then. “Okay, shoot. What is it?”

“As far as I can tell, you are… uhm… one of the… weaker unicorns I encountered.” She hesitated while talking. That was always such a great sign.

“Okay. So… first off — you can tell that? I have to admit, that’s some fancy magic… that I’ve never heard of.” Really, I could not remember encountering something like that ever before. For some strange reason, she seemed to take it as a compliment and her chest swelled with pride. I did not mind.

“It is a spell I developed myself after my ascension. I wanted to know how my magic was affected. It measures how deep your magic reserves are, which spells should come easy to you, which ones you are going to struggle with or won’t be able to learn at all.” My little genius… That sounded smart. Really, really smart.

“Let me guess — there isn’t any spell you can’t learn, you have affinity for all of them and your reserves are as deep as the ocean, while the rest of us walk around with the equivalent of a puddle?” I was trying to tease her and it worked like a charm. However, I could not help but notice that apparently, at least some of my exaggeration was close to the truth.

“I am not as good with illusion and divination magic,” she admitted. Almost ashamed. Because Twilight was Twilight and in her head, it made total sense that the Element of Magic should probably ace each and every spell under the sun. Including the sun, come to think of it.

But it made sense to me, at least. Depending on how one went about things, illusion magic was somewhat dishonest. It meant tricking somepony’s senses. I could not imagine that she felt comfortable with that, and in turn, the magic reacted to her feelings. As magic did. Her ‘problem’ with divination magic, if one was to even call it that, was a little less obvious. Maybe because she just did not like being handed every answer and solution, preferring to work for it?

But the fact remained that she had said ‘as good’, meaning I was right. She basically aced all other areas. And had an ocean of energy to draw from. Lucky for me, I was not about to get envious over magical aptitude. I just wanted to know what was up. “Right, so… muddy puddle?” I could see how she considered her words carefully, so I smiled and pushed her a little. “You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me, you know? I can take it. I promise.”

After another short moment, she exhaled. “It is true, you do not have a lot of reserves to draw from. You seem to have an exceptional affinity for telekinesis, but that is a fairly simple, low-energy spell. Something most unicorn foals learn as their first spell ever. I do not… I don’t see any other affinity. But…”

While she stopped herself, I could almost hear the rest of her sentence. But a long list of spells I will never be able to learn. For a moment, that made my stomach churn. And then, it sank like a lead balloon, as I started to think about my name. She must have seen some part of that on my face as she hurried along. “But there is still some hope!” she pushed. “I wrote that spell, it only recognizes spells I could teach it.”

For a short moment, that actually worked. It meant that her analytical spell could not tell me about affinities for spells she did not know herself. Which might actually include all of the dream magic. Since there were no books or written records of studies or anything about that. But, it also meant that everything she had access to was out of the question. And she had access to the Royal Canterlot Archives. The biggest spell section in all of Equestria. Every spell that was ever brought to paper was in there, at least in copy.

Greeeaaat.

I did not feel like I was impaired or anything. Derpy was. And she was one of the loveliest, most kind-hearted mares I ever had the fortune to call my friend. I just suddenly felt… weak. And unsurprisingly, I did not like that. I felt like falling and I needed to center myself, steady my fraying nerves. So, I closed my eyes and started to mumble to myself. “Celestia, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I took a deep breath and allowed myself a small, serene smile. When I opened my eyes again, Twilight was staring at me with the weirdest expression. An awkward smile, mixed in with curiosity and embarrassment. Of course she knew where this prayer was used. How it was used, and most importantly, by whom.

“I don’t drink,” I answered the unspoken question. “I mean… I suppose I do, but rarely and in moderation. It’s not about alcohol, you know? It’s about… life choices, I suppose. Always strive to be the best pony you can be. Reciting that helps me calm down. It’s like… when you use Cadance’s breathing technique. I attempted that once and immediately hyperventilated.” I had a good little laugh at the memory. “Tia taught me the prayer. It has worked just fine ever since.”

She seemed a little shocked by me calling a Princess of Equestria by a pet name, but she let it slide. Instead, she smiled again. This demure, pleasant smile full of warmth. I appreciated it. And then proceeded to rile her up, because that sounded like fun in my head. “So… are you going to teach me how to throw books after ponies now, or what?”

Slowly, her brow creeped up higher. “If you so much as attempt to throw a single book anywhere, I promise you that I will throw you out of a window!” she retorted sternly.

“Uh-huh.”

“We are in the third story. It’s a ways down.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I swear, if you—“

She stopped when she noticed my barely contained snickering. Before she aimed another punch at my shoulder, I held up a hoof in defense. “Alright, alright! I, Dreamwalker, hereby solemnly swear on the sun's warmth and the moon's beauty, that in the execution of this lesson, no book shall be harmed in any way!”

While my oath seemed to bring forth a mixed reaction of fast switching emotions, she did at least acknowledge my pledge to the safety of her beloved books and shook her head, smiling again. “Goof.”

“Now look who’s stepping low enough for name-calling!” I accused.

After a moment, we shared a smile. It felt familiar. It felt great.

Shortly after, we started our first and maybe only lesson. ‘Focus on what you want’, she said. ‘It will be easier’, she said. “Fly, you fools!” I laughingly yelled at the books, but they did not budge. Ungrateful little chumps, couldn’t appreciate a reference to one of the greatest epic adventure stories ever told.

My heart thumped in my chest when I noticed her laughing with me.

After what amounted to maybe an hour or two, I kind of had it down. I had a book floating before my eyes, and if I concentrated enough, I could lift a couple more. It was not so much about the effort — I could not even feel any drain of energy, to be honest. It was about coordination. I was just… just horrible at trying to do several things parallel. Moving all floating books back at once? Easy. Same direction, same distance, no problem. Moving one book left, one right, one up, all different directions, maybe even opening one up while moving it? Woah nelly, slow down there!

While I was casting away, she checked me out once again. Not like that though, sadly. Afterwards, she told me what she had found out. The whole ‘working different commands parallel’ was not any magical limitation. That was just me and my stupid head. Something that could be trained though, as she promised me. My ‘exceptional affinity’ for the spell was not a mystery any longer as well. I could not lift houses or stuff like that. It was exceptional because it cost me almost nothing to perform the spell. And given that relation, my muddy little puddle of magical energy became a vast ocean in its own right.

Not exactly the most helpful ocean, but an ocean nonetheless.

Levitating living things was a lot harder to do. Especially if those things were struggling against being levitated in the first place. I could lift Twilight. We tested it, with her volunteering. To be honest, it was her idea in the first place. As long as she held still, I felt the strain, but it did not bother me much. Once she started to struggle against it — just physically by weakly waving one leg around —, I could not hold her up for more than a couple of seconds. And once she used magic, I just didn’t stand any chance at all.

Given that holding a book and turning pages had been the entire goal we had in mind for this evening, that was fine for now. Still, it was good to know. I remembered myself being way more magically inclined and adept than I seemed to be now.

We sat down again, sipped our by now cold tea and enjoyed ourselves. We relished a good book as well as good company. And I was so indescribably relieved by that. It had taken me less than a day to go from that creepy stranger to someone she felt decently comfortable around. Me being magically inept might have contributed to that, but again: I did not mind.

We had taken a liking to the ‘weird magic stuff’-section for the evening. Searching for incidents near the Everfree Forest, or magical mishaps involving memory. Anything that could further clue us in as to where I came from, really. We did not find anything, but to be honest — I did not mind, either. I was just glad to see her smile from time to time. With the hours passing, she started to yawn and I followed suit. Finally, with the fire dimming lower and lower, she just leaned against me. “Twilight?” I whispered. No answer. Just her silent breathing and her barrel rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm.

I loved having her against me. Feeling her warmth, her coat brushing against mine. But at the same time, I knew that this was not right. I could have stayed here. Indulged myself. But it was not right. So I sighed heavily and levitated her off the sofa. I was surprised that she did not immediately wake up from that. I looked back over my shoulder and considered just laying her across my back, but holding her aloft was not that hard to do right now. So I started to walk, held the distance between her and myself steady and brought her to her bedroom.

That had been the intention, anyway. Because the very moment I stepped hoof outside those doors, the epic odyssey of Dreamwalker the Lost began. Lady Luck had damned that poor soul to venture through endless crystal corridors for ten whole years for the affront of… hm. Not sure what I have done, really. Something bad, probably. I got lost immediately and several times over and finally found her bedroom with Spike's help. Because he was snoring.

I chuckled as I opened the door and pushed a floating Twilight in. She seemed content. Smiling even in her sleep. Spike seemed happy as well, nestled in his little bed. Snoring away without a care, with tiny splinters of ruby on his scaly lips.

I laid her down on her bed after successfully attempting a little bit of mental acrobatics. She floated over her bed and I managed to remove the blanket with my bare teeth before I put her down and draped the blanket over her. Then the room fell silent, aside from Spikes continued snoring. I just stood there. Smiling to myself, smiling at her, watching her wriggling into her blanket until she was comfortable, giving a content little sigh.

Then I realized what I was doing.

Somewhat-stranger, standing in her bedroom in the middle of the night, staring down at her while she was sleeping. Sweet Celestia, I'm a creeper, aren’t I? At least I had the decency to feel ashamed and with a heat in my cheeks and ears, I quickly and silently retreated from the room.

She did look cute though.

Now, standing in the middle of these wide, empty corridors, I found myself confronted with another problem. I did not know if Spike had actually prepared one of the guest rooms. Or if he did, which one. And where those were. Sooo… I once again started walking down the hallways, nosily opening each and every door as silently as I could manage. Until I found at least one of them and snuck inside.

A bed. Finally.

But before I was lying down, I aimed at the candle on the low dresser and… nothing happened. Right. Not my kind of magic. Seriously? I could not even light a freaking candle?

I swallowed the frustration down and moved over before the tall standing mirror. It was my first opportunity to get a good look at myself. I did not know what exactly I expected to see. Brown fur, slightly brighter brown mane, almost yellowish-brown eyes aaand… a star-strutted walkway that looked like a piece of night sky as a cutie mark. Apart from the cutie mark, I looked mind-numbingly boring. Like someone one could put in a crowd with three other ponies and on a first glance, others would swear that they had only seen those three.

Bland. Yeah, that was the right word. I looked bland.

Then again, I actually did not mind that. I was not short or big, pudgy or muscled, I was just normal. The normalest normal to ever normal. And I did not come off as threatening. Which, come to think of it, might have helped me with winning Twilight over in the first place. If a towering hulk like Big Mac would have done anything I had done today, things would have been quite different.

After my self-inspection, I walked over to the window and looked out at the moon. Luna had done a great job, the night sky looked stunning. “Have a good night, my Princess,” I whispered to nobody in particular, and went to bed.

For a couple of minutes. Then some more minutes. Then, maybe, half an hour. Until I gave up.

I was tired, sure, but I just could not sleep. So I once again got lost in the castle hallways until I found my way back to the living room. From there, I dared another adventure in an epic quest for the kitchen and started to rummage through the different cabinets and shelves. I did not want to make something quite yet, it was more about getting myself acquainted with how the kitchen was organized. I knew that Spike usually woke up way before Twilight did. He helped around the castle in many, many ways. Making breakfast was just one of those and I intended to make myself useful. Now as far as I knew, I wasn’t exactly a great cook. So I would leave warm meals to him. But breakfast? Surely I can manage breakfast, right?

After I thought I had gained the understanding I wanted, I returned to the main library. Twilight had sorted a dozen books out for reading and we had managed to conquer four of them. So I returned to reading until the sun rose. I was lucky that the fireplace still had some heat in it, so I could relight it. Otherwise, that would have been my, what, third castle-based adventure this evening?

“Baby, come on light my fire…” I grumbled to myself while settling in with a new book. Can’t even light a candle…