Go Fuck Yourself

by Kiernan

Rating: mature
Tags: Anthro, Porn, Fetish, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sex, Big Macintosh, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4293

Big Macintosh finds love in a place he did not expect; himself.

Big Macintosh had always thought that meeting another version of himself might be fun. A friend who would see the world from the same perspective, would share your opinions and interests, and care about you as much as you cared about yourself. But when faced with himself, it's just awkward and stilted. There's no learning about what the other one wants through conversation, as your exact copy is exactly the same as you.

So when Discord offers him the opportunity to grow closer, and feel as close as a family member, how can he say no?

Contains: Incest (selfcest) and trans-gender transformation.

Published 2022-02-14 20:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-14 20:40:01 UTC

Go Fuck Yourself

Big Mac opened the door to his room. "Eeyup." It was a simple room, not having much to it. Most of the space was taken up by the king-size bed. He didn't regularly share it, or anything, but he was a big stallion, and he needed a bed that didn't leave his hooves dangling over the footboard. On one side sat a nightstand with a small drawer and a lamp. At the far corner, a desk, a bookshelf filled mostly with equipment manuals and young boy's adventure novellas, and another lamp sat. In the corner closest to the door sat a dresser with a few miniature sculptures on top, behind which was his secretly coveted Smarty-Pants doll. At the far wall was a tiny window, looking out at the barn. It also showed the road into Ponyville.

"Looks right," nodded Anthro Mac, stepping inside. It looked quite similar to his own bedroom in his own world, except the Smarty-Pants doll looked like a pony, as did the warrior miniatures on the dresser. Everything else was exactly the same.

He sat down on the bed. He didn't know how he'd come to be here, merely that he'd appeared one day in Ponyville. Twilight, apparently a princess in this world, had suggested that he stay with himself, and the pony version of him had agreed to put him up for awhile as long as there was no trouble. This was the last stop he'd made on the tour of the house, most of which was unnecessary. It was just like his own house, what was really the difference?

Big Mac sat down next to him and put his hoof on Anthro Mac's shoulder. "Eeyup." What he meant by that was something along the lines of "I know it's harrowing, but Twilight's doing all she can to help you."

Anthro Mac nodded. "Eeyup." What he meant by that was more likely to mean "This is just the way it is for now, and complaining won't help. I suppose this will have to do for now."

"Eeyup."

"Eeyup."

The two sat in silence for a bit, just processing the day they'd had. It hadn't been awful, just long and confusing. After a few minutes, Anthro Mac looked over at his pony self. In his own reality, he was considered to be big, earning him his name. The pony version was even bigger. Thicker jawline, rippling muscles, longer hair… everything was bigger. Well, everything he could see. He leaned forward a bit, trying to sneak a better look without being too obvious.

"What?" asked Big Mac, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," replied Anthro Mac, leaning back.

Big Mac pursed his lips for a moment. After a quick thought, he stood up with an "Eeyup," and left the room. Anthro Mac breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed.

"Trouble convincing him to like you?" came a voice from nowhere. "I can make it easier to form a meaningful relationship with your significant other, if that's what you want."

Anthro Mac looked around the room, unable to find the source.

"Over here, on the dresser." Riding on the back of the miniature gryphon sat a creature Anthro Mac had never seen. He stood up to take a closer look. "I think it's just awful that you've been torn from your home and forced to live here. I'd send you back in a jiffy, if I could. Plenty of power, but there are rules I have to follow. Oh, but where are my manners? Discord's the name."

Anthro Mac held out his finger, and Discord took it in his claw and shook it.

"Now, I am allowed to help you with your breakdown in communications. I'm reformed, you see, and I have to use my powers exclusively to spread the magic of friendship. You know Fluttershy? Well, here, she's a sweet little thing. Keeps me on the straight and narrow." He pointed down his throat and gagged. "Ah well, c'est la vie. At any rate, I couldn't help but notice that you don't exactly agree with your other self."

"Nope."

"Couldn't agree more. If you so wish, I can use my friendship powers to make you much more appealing to him. It doesn't make him want to spend time with you, but it makes you more his type. And because I want to show you just how good a friend I can be, this offer is on the house. That's right, you don't even have to pay me back. Don't let that stop you from trying, though. Would you like my help?"

Anthro Mac nodded enthusiastically. "Eeyup!"

Discord reached behind his back and somehow pulled out a bottle that was larger than he was, filled with a bubbling orange liquid. “Drink this whole thing down, and he won’t be able to tell you apart from his own family.”

Anthro Mac took the bottle and inspected it. It was cold to the touch, but otherwise looked like regular orange soda. He looked back at Discord and raised an eyebrow.

“What’s that look for? I told you it was a free gift, and that I’m only trying to help you relate to him. I may have used to be a trickster, but never was I a liar. It’s just colourful language, that’s all. Don’t you trust me?”

“Nope.”

Discord frowned. “Well, that’s a fine way to treat a new friend. It’s no wonder your other self doesn’t like you, when you treat him like that.” He turned up his nose and strode away.

Anthro Mac looked at the bottle again. This was a world of magic and fantasy. He had no idea what this concoction would do. Then again, if Fluttershy vouched for him, Discord couldn’t be too bad… Right?

He popped the cap off the bottle and smelled the vapours rising from the mouth of the bottle. It didn’t smell bad, in fact, it smelled of lavender and lilac. He was used to those smells coming from things that were purple, but he supposed that this could be using a clear fragrance oil that was safe to drink. With a deep breath, he tilted the bottle back over his lips. It tasted like roast beef.

“That won’t do,” came Discord’s voice from across the room. “You have to drink the whole thing or else it won’t work.” He had made himself into the mosaic pattern on the lampshade, and every move he made shifted the colours around the room. “Every last drop, Big Mac.”

With a nod, he drank the whole thing. While it was cold flowing over his tongue, when it reached his throat, it had warmed up. By the time it settled in his stomach, it was toasty warm, like he had just finished an entire cup of hot coffee. He could feel it bubbling inside of him. A moment later, he let out a loud belch, calming the pressures in his stomach.

“Did you enjoy the taste?” asked Discord, batting his massive eyelashes for emphasis.

“Eeyup.”

Discord smiled. “Glad to hear it. Now, over the next twenty minutes, it will start to take effect. I’ll keep Big Mac busy until it’s finished. In the meantime, I suggest losing the boots. They’ll just make this whole thing harder. Toodle-oo!”

As Discord disappeared out the door, Anthro Mac wondered what he meant. He supposed it wouldn’t really mean too much if he took his boots off. After all, he would be sleeping in this room for awhile, and that meant he would be changing in here, too. There really was no harm in taking off his boots, and perhaps Discord was an honest creature, after all.

He slid them off and placed them at the foot of the bed. He was starting to feel the warmth in his stomach spread throughout his body. Part of it went to his head, part of it to his arms, and part of it to his legs. However, it was the warmth that stayed in his gut that was bothering him. He could feel his heart racing, his fingers tingling, and a tent beginning to pitch in his pants. He looked over to the doorway. Discord had said he was going to keep the other Mac busy for half an hour. It certainly wouldn’t do well if he came back and saw his raging erection.

He reached down and undid the buckle on his belt. As he unzipped his fly, the pressure in his groin popped the button open and his jeans fell down around his ankles. Not wanting to trip and fall down, he sat down and kicked his pants aside. His shaft was poking through the front hole in his boxers. He’d named his dick ‘Little Mac,’ despite how large it was compared to other boys in the locker room at school. It was certainly big in comparison to other humans, but a pony? He had no idea.

He wrapped his hand around his turgid penis and began to slowly stroke it. It was harder than it had ever been before. Even his tightest squeeze seemed unable to indent the flesh. He started jerking it up and down, trying to quickly reach his relief, and spare himself the embarrassment of the other Mac walking in on him in this maneuver. To further that goal, he reached down and began fondling his testicles with his other hand. To his surprise, they were hairier than they usually were.

He began to feel a tingling sensation in his arms, starting with his elbows, and then his shoulders. He opened his eyes, almost unaware that he’d closed them. The orange hair that normally grew all over his body was beginning to thicken in those spots, and also to soften. He brought his left hand up to caress his right elbow, and the hair was so smooth and supple. If he weren’t so horny, he might compare it to that of a dog, or more accurately, a large cat. As it was, he was too preoccupied with his prick to make the leap.

He was suddenly made aware of his boxers tightening around his hips. He didn’t want to pull them off just yet, in case the other Mac walked in and he had to quickly cover himself in shame. For the moment, it was all hands on dick, and he was trying to rapidly reach that release he’d been unable to give himself. It certainly was helpful that he was leaking precum everywhere, and it was lubricating his hands.

Suddenly, he felt a very tight pinch in his loins, causing him to let out a gasp. Not his usual, manly gasp, but a more feminine one. This was followed by a deep moan, as he felt a tingling sensation in his balls. He reached down to rub them, but he could only find the one. Where the other was supposed to be, there was just a hole in its place. He poked his finger into the hole, and the tingling sensation intensified. The pre leaking around that hole was making it very slippery, and it felt very nice on his finger.

As a second finger found its way into the hole, he felt the internal walls clamping down on them. He felt another hard pinch as his remaining testicle pushed his fingers aside and squeezed into the hole with an audible pop. Mac had to bite his lip to keep from moaning in pleasure. He’d never have expected this, but he was loving it. He hoped this was reversible, as he wanted to go back to being himself at some point, but for now, he was content to be fingering himself.

Then he felt something else. Something long and hard was growing in his boxers, and it wasn’t his cock. Whatever it was, it was forcing its way up his arse, and stretching his hole open. It wasn’t a wholly unpleasant feeling, just surprising. He’d never stuck so much as a pencil up his arse before, but now something bigger than his own dick was worming its way up his colon. Not that it had anywhere else to go, of course, as his Boxers were already starting to tear at the seams. The elastic was probably shot by now, so he probably wasn’t ever going to be wearing this pair again. It was too late for them; they had to come off.

Rolling over onto his chest, he grasped at the waistband and pulled them down over his hips. They were now just as fluffy as his arms, and the fur was beginning to crawl up his back. With a firm push from his pooper, his tail slid out of his arsehole with a loud pop, growing blonde hair at an alarming rate. He quickly ripped the boxers off his legs and spread his knees, fingering his new pussy while stroking his cock, his gaping, sensitive arsehole on full display for anyone to use, had he not been alone. He quickly turned around so as not to be on such display in the event that he was caught. He could feel the pressure building in his loins, but he couldn’t release it.

Suddenly, he was alerted to a ripping sound behind him. Afraid he might have damaged Big Mac’s bedspread, he looked between his legs to see what had happened. The first thing he noticed was the lack of testicles. He’d felt those go, but what he hadn’t felt was his cock slowly shrinking. It was still hard as a rock, but it was half the size it had been. He wondered why he hadn’t noticed this before, but his attention was righted as he heard the sound of a seam popping again. He redirected his attention to his feet, which had swollen up and were ripping his socks apart. He had half a mind to thank Discord for saving his boots, but there were still more pressing matters to attend to.

Noting the pattern, he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, throwing it to the floor with his pants and boots, accepting the fate of his undergarments being destroyed, but not ready to give up on his outerwear just yet. As he looked down at his chest, he noted that his nipples were migrating south. He brushed his finger against one, and it sent a shockwave through his body. He was sure he might have cum then, but no such luck. It was still all just pre, and his dick was shrinking even faster now. It was now the smallest he’d ever seen, and he could barely wrap two fingers around it.

He felt for the hole where his testicles used to be. It had a few new flaps of skin on the outside; from whence, he was unsure. That whole area had seen the skin tightening, but he somehow had developed an extra set of lips. Sticking his fingers past that, he found that the hole was much deeper now, and wide enough four four of his fingers. While his right hand focused on that, his left was following his migratory nipples, chasing after them as slowly as they moved, until they came to rest just below his navel.

He was now covered in fur from head to toe. The hair on his head had grown out, blanketing his back in a layer of thick, wavy locks. His whole head began to reshape itself. His ears, now atop his head and controllable, flopped backward against his neck. His nose and jaw had been moving up and out, respectively, giving him a long snout that was mashed into Big Mac’s pillow, which for some reason smelled amazing. He wasn’t usually one for neck sweat, but this was on a whole different level; one that he had not experienced before.

As suddenly as everything else had been, his backside fell. More accurately, his legs shrank down. Afraid that hitting the bed too hard might upset his over-reactive nipples, he rolled onto his back, where they would be exposed to open air. His feet had grown even longer, and all of his toes now formed two orange hooves. The way they looked now, he was sure that he was becoming a pony mare. No wonder Big Mac would be more interested in him.

A moment later in his thought process, his dick disappeared almost entirely, leaving just the head. He had kept his thumb hooked on what was left to keep his fingers from slipping too far in, but with no hook, the rest of his hand slipped inside of his pussy, his thumb bumping up against his clitoris along the way. The high-pitched yelp was followed by an immense pressure in his gut as two mammaries began to swell up between his thighs. He now understood why his nipples had migrated down there. He gently squeezed one. It felt pretty good. He brushed his finger across the nipple again, sending out another pulse. It was still too sensitive to mess with.

He felt a tightness in his chest. His sternum was being forced away from his spine, and his ribs were shifting inward to accommodate for the extra space. For a split second, he had to relearn how to breathe as his ribcage turned circular, then stretched out in an unfamiliar formation.

The next thing he knew was a mass forming inside of his vagina. He could feel his fingers collapsing inward. He knew he needed to pull out his hoof before it became stuck in there, but his head was still swimming. By the time the order reached his arm, it was already too late. It was stuck. Trying to pull on it would just cause him to shake, which made his vaginal walls clamp down. He needed help.

Thankfully, that was when the pony version of him came back, to see the new form lying on the bed, quivering in ecstasy. Big Mac wasn’t sure what to think, and just reached up and scratched his neck. “Eeyup.”

Anthro Mac had never been so embarrassed. If his hoof weren’t caught inside of his pussy, he would have covered himself. His other hoof clamped down on his breasts, but the sudden increase in pressure had made them incredibly sensitive, and he let out a quivering moan. He needed help, and Pony Mac was the only one around. ”Big Mac,” he moaned, his left eye twitching. It was not the voice he was expecting. It almost sounded like his sister. “I need you… Ah~! P-please...”

With a hearty “Eeyup,” Big Mac hoisted himself up onto the bed, his belly over Anthro Mac’s face. He wasn’t sure if it was his curiosity from earlier or a side effect of the potion, but his eyes were immediately drawn to the massive testicles dangling in front of his nose. Anthro Mac had always been aware of his size, but Pony Mac was truly magnificent. As he gasped at the sight, the stench hit his nose and tongue. It was a powerful musk that he’d smelled before, wafting off of his own dick. Never before had it been so intoxicating, though.

He reached his tongue out, trying to sense more of that aroma at once. Truly, it was astounding. As he took another deep breath, he felt the tip of his tongue press against soft flesh. It was salty, but very tasty. He dragged his tongue against the soft slit as something hard began to protrude, leaking a delicious fluid as it came forth. About halfway along, there was some kind of speed bump before it began to widen out. When it was all done, Anthro Mac drew his head back a bit to see it in the light.

It was massive. He’d never seen a cock as big as this one. Among his own kind, he was considered to be on the larger side, but this? He was nowhere near this. It glimmered with his saliva in the lamplight, a small drop forming at the tip that dripped down on his clavicle. It sent a tingling sensation through his entire body. He had to have it. He wanted it. He needed it. He really liked its mane, for some reason.

As if his counterpart could read his thoughts, Pony Mac pulled back his hips and lowered himself to align with Anthro Mac’s lips. Anthro Mac had never done this before, especially with one so big, so a bit of fear brought him out of his mild daze. He opened his mouth to protest, but before he could say anything, his mind was swimming in a bath of hormones and ecstasy as he tasted his own cock. Somehow, someway, it all fit inside, and the stretching of his throat felt wonderful. He would have been upset that he couldn’t breathe, but he wasn’t paying attention. He was just a warm hole right now, and it filled him with pleasure. He never wanted to go back to being a male, if this is what being throat-fucked felt like.

Just as his lungs were beginning to burn, Big Mac pulled his big member out of Anthro Mac’s big mouth. Anthro Mac’s face was covered in a mix of precum and saliva, and the vapours rising from it were making the room hazy, or perhaps that was the lack of oxygen. He felt himself being lifted up and turned around, his tail now facing the window. Big Mac was standing over him, his massive dong bobbing up and down, rubbing against the supple flesh of Anthro Mac’s breasts. With every touch, his titties sent shockwaves through his body, bringing such pleasures he’d never felt before.

With a loud pop, Big Mac freed the stuck hoof from its pussy prison. Anthro Mac let out a squeal at the feeling, only to feel the flare of a cock pressing at the now open entrance. That rod had been wider than his new hooves, how was it possibly going to fit inside? The answer was soon made clear as Big Mac hooked his chin around his partner’s shoulder. With a hard shove, Anthro Mac let out a loud yelp as he felt himself being ripped apart. He wanted to scream in pain, but he couldn’t make a sound. Then he felt it being pulled out, and the pain quickly disappeared, to be immediately replaced by pleasure.

He let out a moan to express his appreciation, but that didn’t last long. As Big Mac’s hips began to pump, the gentle giant leaned down and dug his tongue into the loud hole. With little thought being able to pass through his head, Anthro Mac began to suck on it like a meat popsicle. He was no longer in control of his own actions as his body reacted naturally to the pleasure he felt.

Soon, Big Mac’s thrusts began to pick up. Anthro Mac did not consider the implications; his mind was elsewhere. As the first load of semen shot out of Big Mac’s dickhole, he suddenly had the thought that he could possibly become pregnant. He was a mare, now, and he didn’t know if this change in form would account for that, or not. He pulled the sperm hose out of him before the second shot, accidentally hitting himself in the face. It sealed his eye and part of his nose closed, causing him to reflexively open his mouth. Another spurt shot up into his throat and mouth, spraying down his tongue. It was very rich in flavour, like a liquid form of meat. He enjoyed it so much that when the fourth and final burst came forth, he wiped it off his chest and moved it up to his mouth, savouring the smooth delight.

Just when he thought it was over, Big Mac tugged on his nipples. The ensuing pleasure wave gushed over Anthro Mac’s body, and he finally felt the release of his orgasm. It came with loud, pleasurable moans, and when it ended, he promptly passed out.

The next morning, Anthro Mac stood up and walked to the bathroom. He’d had the weirdest dream. He’d turned into a mare and had sex with himself. It had felt so real, but it was just a dream, a figment of his imagination. It could have been an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. As he washed his face, he looked up at the mirror, and dropped the towel in shock. He looked almost exactly like his sister, but as a pony. Freckles, eyelashes and everything. Even his hip had the logo Applejack wore on her belt, the very same one that was embroidered on her tee shirt. All he was missing was her trademark Stetson.

“Didn’t I promise you a better relationship with Big Mac?” came Discord’s voice. The shower curtain rolled up, and there he sat in the water, his horns poking up out of his shower cap. “I believe I said he would welcome you like he would a family member, and there you are, the very spit and image of his sister. Isn’t it wonderful?”

“Nope.”

“How can you say that?” asked Discord. “Doesn’t he treat you better?”

“Eeyup, but I--”

“And doesn’t it feel nice, knowing you can walk around town without being gawked at?”

“Eeyup, but--”

“And didn’t you feel last night the most mind-shattering orgasm of your life?”

“Eeyup…”

There was a pause. Discord looked over with a smirk. “But what? You liked it. You want to do it all over again. Admit it.”

Anthro mac thought back to the night prior, turned to Discord, smiled and nodded. He’d loved it.

“Eeyup.”