Shadow Quill shifted in his chair, the wooden structure sharply creaking under his weight. The throbbing sensation along his spine agitated him, distracting him from his important work. He scowled, his lips curled as he growled through his gritted yellow teeth. In a sudden fit of rage, he slammed both his hoofs atop his desk then winced at the pain resulting from his impulsive action.
"Always something..." He bitterly grumbled as he leaned back in his chair.
Shadow Quill stared up at the ceiling for a brief moment before returning his focus to his desk. He sat upright then slid his hoof along the surface of his desk, feeling the desk's withered and dusty finish that he once remembered to be a glossy. It was an old desk, a relic from his teenage years that continued to serve him as a sturdy platform for the tools of his trade. He contemplated that detail for a moment, pondering the amount of bits a pony would likely spend to but furniture as resilient as the one he owns.
A dryness irked the back of Shadow Quill's throat, his senses reminding him of the beer he had laid out atop his desk. He took it, his tired eyes catching nearby picture while he finished his cheap drink. His eyes involuntarily clenched, making is distaste for his drink evident as he carelessly tossed the empty beer can onto the floor. He felt more interested in the picture than anything else, bringing it to eye level with magic from his lit horn. He briefly grinned while he thought fondly of the character depicted, knowing that it was a idealistic version of himself imagined during his childhood. The Earth Pony he eyed was a stallion of more characteristic features who stood at attention in a Equestrian Guard uniform, a pony of the ponies, one of an athletic physique, a confident smile and a overall demeanor that implied he would protect the innocent from the evil forces throughout Equestria.
"That was the pony I wanted to be as a foal..." Shadow Quill mused, gently returning his picture atop his desk.
After releasing a agitated groan, Shadow quill laid his arms and head atop his desk. Not letting himself get distracted by life's problems had been his biggest struggle ever since he took up a fulltime job at a local restaurant. He often returned home after work too tired to do anything other than put himself to bed or have to run tedious errands that burned too much of his free time in the day. He believed the displeasing quality of his current life style to be what is keeping him away from finish his novel, his greatest aspiration for most of his life.
"Ehhhh, would I go back to my old ways?" Shadow Quill debated, thinking that question over for a moment.
Shadow Quill innately made it a point to himself to own up to his flaws. He remembered the caveats of his old lifestyle, void of obligations and worldly experiences. He tended to spend most of his day doing whatever he wanted whenever he wanted at home, not really going anywhere or contributing anything to his society. Although he often found himself feeling lonely and isolated, he did recognize that a part of him missed being able to visit different coffeeshops multiple times a week since he had nowhere else to be. He yearned for the energizing smell of roasting coffee beans and the decadent scent of freshly baked deserts. Be that as it may, he understood that the personal consequences of lacking responsibilities versus being outright irresponsible to be one and the same on a pony.
"Cant go back to that..." Shadow Quill reconciled, pausing before taking a long deep breath. His horn lit purple, his magic gripping his feather pen and pressing it to paper. He held it there for a moment, waiting for a creative pulse to stimulate his senses.
"I can figure this out..." Shadow Quill groaned.
Shadow Quill emphasized taking pride in his work, reminiscing on how his life tended not to afforded him any other real accomplishments to his name aside from this one. It had taken him several years to get to this point, but what he had written so far really meant a lot to him. "If only..." He thought, if he could find a way over this recent stubborn spout of writers block. He had been stumped for months now and the creative blockage had really gotten under his skin of late. After some time passed with no progress, he begrudgingly laid his face into his hooves.
"Damn It, That was stupid, why time travel?" Shadow Quill inquired, knowing that if he did not like the idea for his novel then nopony else would either.
Shadow Quill brooded quietly for a moment. "Time travel is normally a central focus of a novel, not a plot point. Why did I think that was a good idea?"
Unexpectedly, a pulse struck Shadow Quill's temples. He raised a hoof to his head, remembering a late night conversation a few weeks back with his one special friend nicknamed Kiko. They had just left a bar, the bat pony in tow as they wandered into a nearby park. They sat on a park bench together, waiting to sober up a bit before continuing under the night sky. Shadow Quill met her gaze, the ire in her bright yellow eyes sending a slight involuntary tremor down his spine. The Bat Pony ran her hoof through her purple mane, her fangs protruding over her glossy purple lips.
"We're trashed." Kiko declared, letting a nasally cackle out.
"Heh heh." Shadow Quill nonchalantly chuckled. "Yeah, drunk my weights worth tonight. We'll be here for a bit."
"Yeah." The bat pony replied, acknowledging her own intoxication with a uncoordinated nod.
Shadow Quill sensed the muscles in his arms and chest tighten, they had been periodically doing that all day. He knew he had been under some stress of late which was why him and his friend decided to hit the bar tonight. He wanted a distraction to draw his mind away from the topic, yet his unconscious mind kept returning to the source of his stress like it were an obsessive fixation. He had considered another solution while they spent time together, opening up to his friend about his emotions and the troubling situation even though he didn't really want to. He never liked talking about his feelings with anyone.
"Hey..." Shadow Quill inquired.
Quickly turning her gaze, Kiko offered him her full attention.
"I..." Shadow Quill started, pausing for a moment to choose his words. "Have been having this problem...and I, uh..."
"Oh gosh!" Kiko countered, teasing Shadow quill with a quick roll of her eyes. "Your not asking me out are you?"
Shadow Quill smiled, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders before replying. "I thought we already were out."
The duo filled the night with laughter, delighted by their cordial dynamic. Afterwards, the two returned their attention to the conversation. Shadow Quill gently leaned backward into his seat before speaking as his friend attentively eyed him while resting her chin onto her hoof. "I just...can't seem to go the direction I want to go in life. I can't get something done when I want it done because some life issue stops me or I get distracted by something going on yet I can't stop that from happening no matter what I do. I never have any time for myself because something or somebody else keeps dragging me into something I never wanted to be a part of!"
"Your novel?" Kiko Inquired.
Shadow Quill nodded. "I just want to get it done, but I'm not happy with what I have worked on plus there are other projects I want to get started on and..."
"Shadow!" Kiko sharply interrupted.
The Bat Pony confidently pressed her hoof against Shadow Quill's chest. "All I am hearing right now is excuses!"
"Well..." Shadow Quill hesitated, timidly lowering his gaze before Kiko's glaring eyes.
"I always say the moment you stop growing is the moment you start dying, because if you stop growing then your not progressing and that leads to death. You need to adapt to your situation and evolve into something stronger!" Kiko insisted, thinking that her friend needed a blunt reality check.
Shadow Quill felt a tad shaken inside, his inner courage wavering for a moment. He quietly considered her words, somewhat already knowing deep down that she was right. If he truly wanted to finish his work, he could not let his situation hinder his efforts anymore. As a writer, he had to change if he was going to overcome his persistent writer's block instead of letting it hold his passion hostage.
"Hey..." Kiko sweetly cooed, noticing his friend's vibe suddenly turn somber.
"Hmm?" Shadow Quill hesitantly lifted his gaze to his friend.
"Evolution, baby!" Kiko teased, whispering in a playful manner.
Shadow Quill chuckled faintly, enjoying the banter she afforded him. "You always get a laugh out of me."
The duo spent continued to chat under the night sky. After awhile, they began to part ways. Both walked in the opposite direction of the other. Shadow Quill stopped after hearing his name called out to him. He glanced over his shoulder, seeing Kiko wink at him before turning and resuming her venture into darkness.
"Hmm?" Shadow Quill pondered a thought, was that just a friendly display of affection or implied desire?
At his computer desk, Shadow Quill sat before the warm candle light with his tools laid out before him. He was not sure how much time he had spent reflecting on that memory, an hour or two if not more. Regardless, the present was all that concerned him now and that meant it was time to work. He took a quick visual note of his tools, his horn lighting up in a bright purple magic that gripped his favorite blue ink pen. As he lifted then pressed the pen to paper, he spoke aloud. "Alright, time for change!"
The constant brightening and dimming magic casted from Shadow Quill's horn kept the room in a continuous transition between lit and dark. He could feel his inner writer taking new shape, his fluctuating production of light serving as a metaphor to him of his new process. He felt the past of his writer's block fading away, his eyes widening excitedly as his new inner writer manifested before him.
"She was right..."
Author's Note
I wrote this story for a few reasons, the first reason is I thought sharing a life lesson I learned might help someone else out there. That, and some people who have been reading my work for awhile seem to think I have a knack for Slice Of Life stuff even tho I am primarily a horror writer. One thing tho, I do want to share a link to my friend's twitch stream and I encourage people to check it out. She is the one who helped me realize this and she has helped me with a lot of struggles and helped me see value in myself that I didn't know I had. Plus, she makes me laugh so much! Quick warning, she does use "language" so be aware of that, but she is a good person who tries to help people feel better if she can. I want to share that with my readers if you are interested!
https://www.twitch.tv/yakokiko
