Author's Note

Adagio Dazzle has a new day ahead of her, full of exciting and interesting turns. Despite the rocky relationship between them, Adagio and Applejack are able to talk to each other. Maybe things get better from here~ After helping Apple Bloom prepare for the family reunion, Adagio returns home for one last surprise.

DISCLAIMER: This story includes references to depression, depressing thoughts, insecurities, anxiety, self-harm and thoughts based around all of these concepts. If you do not want to read a story with slight references to these, I would urge you to click off.

Thank you all for reading my story this far~ I know this sequel seems like a jumbled mess so far, but trust me, the story will soon be apparent~ Again, big thanks to Mon668 for beta reading this story~

You're Still Desired

Chapter III: You’re Still Desired

Maybe it’s just the warm summer air pushing down on me, but I feel… sort of incomplete… I suppose it’s all due to the stress of life, causing Sunset and I to spend less and less time with each other. It’s a lonely feeling… One I can recall all too well from just a few months back. It’s funny to think that I didn’t really have anyone back then, but I can proudly call a few individuals my friends. Though, it sometimes still makes me think whether or not they deserve someone better… Either way, my confidence has been an issue for a while now, so I suppose I should try to work on that while Sunset and I are busy, right?

A small sigh exits my lips as I bring my hand to my head, blocking the sun from my view and allowing me to look further ahead down the dirt road. It would be really nice if I could talk with Sunset at least, but with our varying schedules, the only times we can really see each other are when we wake up or go to sleep. It’s still a nice feeling though…

Don’t get me wrong. I love Sunset with all my heart. I wouldn’t want to live without her, but even I can feel lonely at times. I didn’t know that until I lost my two best friends over a year and a half ago. Whatever happens, Sunset is still the one I love, but I just wish I could… grasp more time with her. Maybe she could come with me to the Apple Family Reunion later this week…? It would definitely be a welcome break from the busy lives we lead.

Bringing my hand to my scarf, I smile slowly, looking around at the bright green woods around me. Perhaps it’s for the best right now. Once we get some time to ourselves again, we can have one of those movie nights again. Or maybe we could go to the beach again. Shaking my head, I try to clear my mind of the lovely thoughts for a moment, focusing on what’s important. I’m not here to have a fun thought process. I’m here to help Apple Bloom… Though, it is weird finding the front entrance of the farm. Applejack insisted that I stop sneaking around her orchard and walk through the farm in general. I must have been following this fence for a good ten minutes now. I don’t walk quickly anymore, since I don’t usually have places to be in a hurry, but it still felt like a long time to be walking.

Stopping in my tracks, my eyes catch a glimpse of red past some of the trees, the shine of paint glinting from the sun. The smell of apples is all too present, masking the scent of mud. Walking another few meters in front of me, I can finally see a clearing a good distance away from the fence with a barn in the center of it. There are a few more smaller farm buildings scattered around, all of them probably have their own purpose, but the centerpiece of the whole art piece was the house, standing at around two and a half stories tall. It is a beautiful farm, I’ll admit, but the thought of entering it still ends up scaring me slightly. Perhaps it’s because of Applejack’s inevitable games, testing my new character, but a part of me knows the real reason why I don’t want to set a toe inside the property. Someone like me doesn’t really deserve friends… Especially after all I’ve done.

Shaking my head, I sigh to myself, reaching the driveway at the fence and walking into the farm. It’s still a good distance from the fence to the farmhouse, making the walk all the more dreadful. I’m incredibly lucky to have friends like Apple Bloom… I mean, when I look back, I didn’t deserve an ounce of the kindness she showed me back then, but here I am, looking forward to spending time with the little daredevil. I know I don’t deserve her friendship, but regardless, she gives it to me despite my past. Now I just have to convince her sister as well… A feat that sounds easier said than done. Who knows? Maybe that kindness runs in the family…

Walking further down the driveway, I see Applejack working on a wheelbarrow with a whole host of tools, seemingly struggling with something. Even though I feel anxious about talking with the cowgirl again, she’s willing to give me a shot and I should be willing to be friendly with her too. If things go well enough, maybe we will become good friends. If she wants of course… Smiling to myself, I gently brush the hair out of my face, closing the distance between Applejack and I slowly. At first, Applejack doesn’t look up from her work, clearly frustrated by the problem at hand. Looking down at the wheelbarrow, I can’t help but smile at the irony of the broken wheel, considering how often that trope is shown in media like cartoons.

“Broken wheel?” I ask, squatting down slowly to take a better look at the mess.

“Yep, I’ve been working on it for an hour now,” Applejack slowly states, acknowledging my presence with her gaze and a small smile. “It’s damn frustrating, that’s what it is. I swear I would have replaced it by now, but…” The cowgirl’s sentence is forcibly cut short, her thought process seemingly telling her to keep whatever she was about to say a secret. “Sorry, I ain’t trying to bother you with my own problems.” Slowly, her hand extends out to me, gesturing for aid, one I accept by pulling her up to her feet.

“Don’t apologize. It’s a bigger problem than the ones Apple Bloom talks to me about, so I’m used to it~ Besides, I don’t mind talking about troubles.” My mouth forms into a smile as Applejack nods to my statement, sheepishly avoiding my gaze for a moment, before shaking my hand slightly. Her usual confident and honest behavior is shed when we lock eyes, both of us understanding one another for a short time. Applejack is a kind and hardworking woman, one who worries about her family, but now, she seems oddly at peace with the current situation.

“I don’t suppose you wanted to see me, huh?” Applejack says with a small chuckle, walking a few steps away from me to pick up one of her tools. “Apple Bloom isn’t here yet. School isn’t done,” she states plainly, despite her chuckle from before.

“Ah, I see,” is all I can seem to let out, walking around to the other side of the broken wheelbarrow. “She asked me to help with the decorations for this family reunion~” For some reason, Applejack giggles slightly at my explanation, bringing a hand to her face to cover her exhausted yet humorous expression.

“Figures. That girl is always asking for help and getting into trouble. When I was her age I…” Again, Applejack stops herself, looking down at her tools with a disturbed expression. “Sorry, sugarcube. I’m not really myself today. I didn’t get a full night’s sleep and everything seems to be getting on my nerves,” the cowgirl states, a vulnerable look coming across her face for a few moments. Even though Applejack and I are not on the best terms, I still feel sad that she’s clearly struggling, wanting to help this girl that is… admirable I suppose.

“What’s been bothering you?” I ask calmly, reaching over and holding the wheelbarrow in place, seemingly surprising Applejack.

“Well, everything really… This reunion has me up the walls, trying to make it perfect, you know?” Applejack slowly shakes her head, taking her wrench and positioning it on one of the bolts holding the broken wheel on the piece of equipment. “Apple Bloom is growing up so fast and it all sort of seems to be going out of control. Even Granny is starting to go downhill, so I need to help her in my spare time as well.” The cowgirl’s brow furrows slightly as she finally loosens the bolt, pulling it away from the wheelbarrow. “I suppose it’s not all bad though… At least I get to know you again. Well, the real you, instead of my perceived image of you,” she sighs quietly, trying to loosen another bolt. For a moment, I feel a bit happy, hearing her statement… I suppose it makes me feel happy that she’s accepted, at some level, that I am a different person now.

“I’m glad I get to know you too,” I slowly let out, directing my eyes away from us and towards some of the trees in the orchard. No matter what may have been exchanged between the two of us, we could both understand the sentiment behind Applejack’s statement, not meant to be hostile or to wound me in some way while laying the groundwork for a possible friendship. Smiling, I shake my head slightly to myself, looking back to the rugged cowgirl. “So, is everyone invited to this family reunion or am I a special case?” I tease slightly, both of us sharing a short laugh.

“Well, not everyone. Family and friends are invited and well… I figured you were close enough to Apple Bloom that she would beg for me to invite ya.” A shameful expression comes across her face as she averts my gaze, gently wiping the sweat from her forehead. Taking off her hat for a moment, she stumbles with her words, bringing her hand to her forehead. “Besides, I’m… sorry. I really do want to get to know ya, it’s just… all my instincts tell me not to, so take this invitation as both my apology and my way of starting over,” Applejack slowly states, holding her hand out to me with the most humble smile she can muster, a small tear welling up in her eye. Being the proud cowgirl she is, she wouldn’t let herself cry obviously, but it still reflects a sense of honesty deep down.

Taking her hand in mine, I smile and nod, locking my eyes with hers. “Don’t be sorry. Actions speak louder than words, right? So, let’s both act better~ Besides, I have a lot more to prove.” Patting her shoulder lightly, Applejack chuckles to my statement, nodding and letting go of my hand to pick up her tools.

“How about you stay around for a while until Apple Bloom comes back? You could help me ignore the dang wheelbarrow and focus on making the cider,” she teases me before laughing to herself. “And god knows we will need a lot of that apple cider.”

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“So, wait a minute, sugarcube.” Applejack, downing the last of her water bottle, pauses to collect her thoughts as she wipes the sweat from her forehead. Sitting beside the front door, I sigh a little to the cool breeze, finally relaxing from fixing this porch. It’s funny that we were supposed to work on the apple cider preparation, but Applejack’s grandmother asked her to fix the porch halfway through, so now we’re tempted with the smell of apple pie the whole time we work here. I’m not necessarily new to making home repairs, considering my past shitty apartment, but I never really fixed a porch before. “You’re telling me that you had an accident at work and then you went to watch movies with Sunset?” Applejack’s confused eyes express the emotion she feels towards my probably odd wording of my story.

“No no no, Applejack. I’m sorry, let me clarify. I went to watch Romeo and Juliet with Sunset and then we walked on the beach. After all of that is when I had my accident. Though, we did have a movie night later when I stayed at her apartment and all.”

“Ah, I see,” Applejack says with a relaxed tone, resting against one of the porch beams and bathing in the cool breeze under the shade. “Of course you two watched Romeo and Juliet. Sunset picked, right?” A short chuckle comes from her lips as she closes her eyes slowly, taking a deep breath to herself. “Sunset has always liked romantic movies. Did she ever tell you how she forced all of us to watch The Beauty and the Beast?” Shortly, the cowgirl begins to laugh to herself, recalling some sort of memory presumably as she holds her belly slightly.

“No, I don’t think she ever told me about that story~” I say in a quiet yet cheerful voice, taking a long sip of water afterward.

“Good golly, it was a good time~ Rainbow was none too pleased about it and even threatened to jump out the window until Fluttershy asked her to please stay. Rarity was so excited that she gripped onto my arm the whole movie. I swear she must have made my arm go numb at one point,” the cowgirl states slowly, thinking about the past situation. “Either way, Pinkie also made some sort of surprise popcorn which turned out to be a random assortment of candy and chocolate syrup. There was hardly any popcorn in it now that I think about it.” Her laugh starts to subside as she takes a deep breath in and out, nodding sleepily to the cool air that brushes past both of us.

“That sort of reminds me of a certain chaotic visit to the amusement park,” I chuckle slightly, thinking about a time that seems like a lifetime ago at this point. Applejack, seemingly curious about my statement, opens her mouth to ask me a question, but she’s stopped by the sound of a loud kitchen timer just inside the house.

Standing up quickly, she opens the door to the house, walking inside and opening the oven. Just as I stand up to help Applejack, I look towards the long driveway and see an all too familiar sight. Running towards the house with a wagon right behind her, Apple Bloom’s bright yellow skin reflects the sun easily as her bow bounces to each movement she makes. Smiling to myself, I look inside the window into the house and see Applejack setting out a couple more pies. “Hey, Applejack?” I nervously say, catching her attention as she looks towards the window. “I’m sorry to say this, but Apple Bloom is back home now and I promised her I would help with her own preparations for the reunion. Do you think you can fix the porch without me?” I ask cautiously, not wanting to seem like I’m just ditching her for a new chore.

“I don’t think I can,” Applejack says, slowly, tilting her hat slightly as she walks to the window, locking her gaze with mine. “I know I can. I’ve been fixing this dang porch every summer for ten years now.” With a slight chuckle, she puts her hand on my shoulder, nodding slightly. “Thanks. For helping out around here and talking with me. I… I hope we can learn to be great friends, sugarcube,” Applejack slowly says, another guilty expression taking hold of her face. Both of us laugh slightly, sharing a singular moment.

“I hope so too, Applejack~”

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Walking into Apple Bloom’s room, I can’t help but feel like I’m being invasive, looking around at all of Apple Bloom’s closest belongings. To the right of the door, there’s a big dresser, presumably full of clothes, and to the left, there is a huge toy chest, overflowing with an assortment of pretty things and more rugged toys that you would expect a cowgirl to play with. I have to admit, it’s odd to see a doll right next to a toy revolver. Apple Bloom, seeing where my attention is directed, grabs her toy revolver and pulls the trigger, making a clack sound ring through the small room’s walls. “Do you like this?” she asks, handing me the toy innocently enough. Despite the kind smile on her face, I can’t bring myself to accept the offer, just looking blankly down at the toy slightly. Even though it’s a toy, the shape of it reminds me of times that I would… rather forget. The click of the trigger is all too familiar…

“Not really. I’ve always been more of a doll person if you will.” Especially since Sonata often shared her toys with me back when we were children…

“Oh? Okay~ Well, just make yourself at home, alright? I don’t mind if ya touch my dolls or such~” Apple Bloom, just as caring as ever, walks over to her bed in the middle of the room, patting it slightly to signal me to sit. Just as I comply with this request, Apple Bloom walks over to her dresser and opens it, looking through it intensely. The bed also had a couple of small bedside dressers next to it, one with a lamp and the other with an alarm clock and a framed picture of her family. Opposite of the door to her room, there’s a small white desk with a mirror, pictures of the CMC surrounding the edges of the frame. Apple Bloom’s room, as small and limited as it is, has a lot of character, expertly displaying the type of person Apple Bloom is. Reserved when she needs to be, but passion pours out of every action she takes.

“How was school?” I ask slowly, lying back on the bed with a small sigh to myself. Apple Bloom simply shrugs to my question, content on her search for something in the dresser.

“It was fine I suppose… It’s just Diamond Tiara again. She keeps teasing Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and I.” Slowly, Apple Bloom carries a big box of craft supplies over to the bed, setting it down beside her when she sits down next to me.

“Again? Have you tried talking to her like I said?” I ask, sitting up and remembering the small conversation Apple Bloom and I had over this in our letters.

“Yeah, I did, but she can’t seem to stop it. She doesn’t even seem to regret it. It’s just like she’s taking her anger out on us for some reason.” Setting the glue, scissors and colorful paper on the bed, Apple Bloom grabs some string and starts to cut it into five inch intervals. “Not only that, but her dad, Filthy Rich, brings her out of school every Tuesday, so she gets a day off from everyone else. I mean, how hard can her life be?” The small cowgirl’s anger makes her fingers shake slightly, sighing to herself. “I mean, I work on a farm every day and she can’t bring herself to lift a dang backpack. She needs to gain some muscle, that’s all.”

“Wait, her dad is Filthy Rich?” I ask cautiously, still registering the words she said before. Apple Bloom’s eyes lock with mine for a moment as her eyebrow raises, a slow nod coming from her.

“Uh, yeah. What about it?” she asks me, curious of my response.

“And you say that she… can’t even lift a backpack?”

“I would say she acts more like it. She’s always had her butlers carry things for her, but recently, she’s even started acting sick to avoid teach’s questions.” Apple Bloom’s eyes drift down to her craft again, mumbling off to herself slowly. If I had known Apple Bloom’s bully was the daughter of Filthy Rich, I would have given her different advice… I probably forgot the girl’s name since I never really listened to Rich back then, but now… I can’t seem to forget the words he told me the last time we talked on that beach… God damn it, the dots are finally connecting…

“Apple Bloom? I… Maybe you should take it easier on Diamond Tiara,” I slowly sigh, looking away from the craft materials momentarily, staring outside her window. “Tiara may not be… acting…”

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Slowly, I close the door, trying to make the least amount of noise as possible. Even though it’s already night, it’s strange that the blinds are already closed, making me question whether I closed them myself earlier in the morning. Even though today has been a stressful mess of social relationships, my mind is already eager to hop into bed, thinking about the feeling of Sunset’s warmth. It’s always the best thing to put me to sleep after all~ Shaking my head slightly, I breathe in and out before I start taking off my boots. Even though it wasn’t necessarily a lot of work to make apple decorations with Apple Bloom, the day itself has still taken a toll on me, making my body weary and tired. I yawn gently, bringing my hand to my mouth after unraveling the scarf from my neck and gently hanging it on the rack next to the door.

It wasn’t the apple decorations that made us truly tired though. It was the conversation we shared at that time… Apparently, Diamond Tiara has been missing more and more school days, insisting that she can’t carry things mundane because they hurt her. This wasn’t out of the ordinary in Apple Bloom’s eyes, but now that she looks back on it, she told me that the statements had eerily serious tones to them. The information I gave Apple Bloom about Tiara’s father was… quite shocking to her. Normally, I would avoid telling the secrets of another, but in this case, I believe that maybe it was needed…

Apple Bloom agreed to take it easier on the girl and look for anything she considers a true sign of weakness. Given the amount of medical equipment Filthy Rich had asked for, it’s not really hard to imagine what is going on in that household… Rubbing my forehead slightly, I fully slip off my socks and jeans, leaving myself in a t-shirt. Yawning, I close my eyes, listening to see if Sunset is awake.

Walking into the hallway, I smile slightly. Hopefully, Tiara will be okay. For now, I need to have some time to breathe and finally rest from all the physical and… emotional work I’ve done today. Imagining Sunset’s cute breathing as she sleeps is almost enough to make me burst through that door and jump into bed with her, but I would prefer to not wake her if she is asleep. Smiling a little more, I grab the door knob slowly and nod to myself. Despite how stressful things can get, I am so glad I can always rely on Sunset. She’s always here for me, no matter what happens. I try to be there for her as well, but she never seems to complain about life, always smiling to herself.

Turning the door knob slowly, I peek inside to see if she is asleep and…

S-S… What…?

Instantly, I let go of the door, freezing in my tracks as my eyes are glued to the figure on the bed, illuminated by the moon from the window… The woman I thought was asleep is instead sitting straight up, her shirtless body reflecting the light… But not as well as the object in her hand… The sharp and metallic object, gently held in her hand as tears stream down her face…

Sunset…? What is…

Please don’t tell me… Don’t tell me… Her hand slowly brings that object closer to the bottom of her belly, her tears staining her face even more…

Every part of me can’t move as I see that damned object press against her skin, her eyes closing slightly as she winces… Why is this happening…?

Through the sniffling, I hear Sunset make a singular whisper to herself, watching her action take place… “I deserve this…”