Fallout Equestria: Jams of Friendship

by Visharo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Fallout, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3306

A great adventure begins with a single thought, "FOR THE GLORY OF JAM!"

Jaded Jam, a bored mare from Meatlocker, meets a stallion looking for a type of jam. Jaded, unfortunately, doesn't have said jam, so the duo go on quite the adventure for the recipe of the jam.

A small wholesome story created for a Fallout Equestria competition...which I misread, so instead I'll be posting it here!

Published 2022-02-15 22:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-15 22:40:00 UTC

Chapter 1: Jam

The Jaded Files: The Beginning

I stared at the irradiated jam that was sitting on my counter, and sighed. I’ve been working in Meatlocker for a hundred years now and I can count on my hooves how many times I’ve sold a jam jar. I leaned in my chair wondering how long I’d have to wait before another jam jar is sold. Maybe I should make another jam? I don’t know any recipes though, that complicates things. Also, it sounds like hard work.

“Hello.”

I fell off my chair in surprise at the sound of a pony’s voice. I scrambled up and glanced at who was talking to me. A murky green earth pony with a dusty red mane looked at me. His cutie mark looked a bit like a red plant.

“Umm…yeah, hi. Welcome to Jaded’s Jams, what can I get ya?” I tried to smile, hoping that it was good enough. I haven’t smiled since that small filly came to town, I always wondered what happened to her. Now that I think about it, I never knew her name. That made me sad.

“Yes, I was wondering if you have Dash Jam,” the stallion looked at me with beautiful red eyes. I mourned the fact that I didn’t have whatever that was.

“No, sorry. I don’t even know what Dash Jam is. Maybe you could tell me how to make it, it’ll fill in the hours hopefully. Depends on how easy it is…did I mention how handsome you are? I really like your eyes, am I being annoying? I haven’t had somepony to talk to in years!” I could feel my fake smile slowly turn into a real smile that almost immediately turned to a pout when I realized that I’m probably scaring him away.

“No, it’s ok. Dash Jam is a special type of Chem Jam. It makes you feel really good without having the negative side effects of taking Dash by itself. I’ve never had it, so I was wondering if you had any, but it seems you don’t,” He looked so sad that I decided to say something.

“Maybe I can go find it, how did you find out about this jam?” I leaned forwards, this was exciting! Something to spice up my boring life.

“Some old trader that I met in Tenpony. He said that he heard of this ‘legendary’ jam that could heal any wounds with a single sniff. He even claimed it could bring back the dead! I researched this after hearing it, and unfortunately everything he said wasn’t true. The only thing he seemed to have gotten right is the name. I think he said that the recipe is in an old jam shop somewhere in Old Appleloosa. I’m not sure,” he looked at me almost regretfully.

I wasn’t fazed, in fact I knew of the place and when I told him about it, he seemed really excited too. The only problem is when I tried to get Ditzy Doo to deliver it here, she said she lost it somewhere in the Fluttershy Medical Center. I groaned inwardly because of how far it was.

“Cheer up, I’ve decided that I’m going with you! We can help each other,” that smile he gave me was enough for me to get moving.

“Really? Oh thank you! I’ll be getting my gear and we can head out!”

Author's Note

The beginning of something nice.

Kudos to kkat for the creation of the FoE world and kudos to my friend Blu, who helped me edit.

Chapter 2: Raiders

The Jaded Files: The Beginning

Meatlocker was already out of sight when I realized why I hadn’t picked up the stuff Ditzy dropped before. Raiders. Before I could think about turning back, we were surrounded by raiders. I stared in shock at the seven ponies around me before I started cursing at my bad luck.

“Halt!”
“None may pass without fee!”
“Pay up or else the Chainers will get ya!”

I stared in confusion when the raiders started cackling with malicious glee. What confused me was that I’ve never heard of the Chainers, nor the fee part. Maybe I haven’t paid enough attention to the gossip.

“Chainers? Never heard of you,” my companion said, who wore a similar expression. I blinked, realizing that they weren’t really part of a big faction, like the Steel Rangers or those weird ponies down at the Elysium Country Club. Then I blinked again, in my excitement to get going I never asked the stallion’s name. I mentally face-hoofed.

“Oh, buddy, buddy, buddy! You’ve never heard of us because we don’t want to be known!” a brown unicorn grinned at us, he had an axe floating next to him that looked very sharp.

“Or maybe you’re bluffing,” I stepped forward, pulling a revolver from my saddlebag with my own magic.

“What? You’re a unicorn!?” my companion stuttered, looking for my horn, finding nothing. Ugh, I really need a name for him. He has red eyes…Red Eyes? No, that sounds evil. He has a murky coat…Murky? Nah, sounds cowardly. Aha! I’ll call him Earthy, short for Earth Pony. I nodded, proud of my accomplishment.

“Bah, that doesn’t scare us. We are the Chainers!” a blue earth pony pounded the ground with his power hooves. They also looked scary.

Crack

I stared in shock at the blue pony as he fell down with a bullet in his head. After the raiders came out of their shock, another one fell.

“Come on, are you just going to stand there?” My companion shouted at me through the pistol in his mouth.

I snapped out of stupor and aimed my revolver at the nearest raider and fired. I missed. I quickly launched myself sideways to dodge a raider who came up beside me with a rusty pipe. His pipe hit a rock that sounded with a ting. He growled angrily and whipped his head around to where I was previously standing. He looked around in confusion, trying to see where I went and got his answer soon enough when I cocked the revolver right next to his head.

“Look out!” Earthy’s call came too late and I got hit on the head. I cried out and collapsed over the new corpse.

Stupid, stupid, be aware of your surroundings, I mentally scolded myself as I heaved upwards. I glanced at my new adversary before diving to my left to dodge another blow. Instead of chasing after me, the raider pulled out a pistol and aimed. I gave them no chance as I ran forwards, startling them.

Before I crashed into the raider though, I got tackled from the side. Air flew out of my lungs. I groaned and fired into the idiot who crashed into me before unsteadily getting up. Multiple gunshots were heard throughout this fight, but I mostly ignored them with the sole exception of the latest one.

I looked downwards at the new hole in my chest then I glanced upwards at the raider who shot that bullet, “ouch.”

Before I or the raider could do anything, Earthy’s gun fired for the last time, felling the pony who stared at me. Then I collapsed.

Author's Note

Those nasty Chainers. If your wondering, this is 100 years after the Great War, not 200 years like Littlepip's story.

Kudos to Lauren Faust for creating the ponies that we all love today.

Chapter 4: Pegasus

The Jaded Files: The Beginning

“Wake up, we gotta move,” a small kick made my ribs hurt.

“Go away, we’re out of jam!” I rolled to my side and went back to my dreams of exploring the world. I used to have wonderful hopes and dreams before the war happened.

“Is that why you don’t have many customers? And why are you asleep, aren’t you a ghoul?” There was that voice again, why can’t he leave me alone. Pesky travelers, go to someone else’s shop!

“Jaded, I will personally drag you towards some raiders if you don’t get up right now.” Ha, ponies have tried that before. Go ahead, pesky voice, if you dare!

“Alright, guess I’ll go find that recipe by myself then,” Lichen grunted in surprise to find me already outside of the rocky out hang, “wait, what…how? You were just there…”

I grinned in response and started trotting away without waiting for the stallion. It took a while for Lichen to catch up with me, and when he did he started asking a bunch of questions.

“Up bup bup, question night is already past. Time to head out!”

***

We were walking out of what used to be a large shopping mall with some new provisions when suddenly I heard a scream. I don’t know what propelled me, but I shot off at speeds Lichen couldn’t run.

I vaulted over a piece of debris, blasted through another, and slid under a third. I ignored a confused radgator hiding under a pile of rubbish and charged through some bushes. I took in the scene within seconds and charged one of the slavers.

A bright green mare was cowering under three slavers who held battle saddles. I could tell they were slavers because of the shackles and collar one held. The one I crashed into didn’t expect a pony flying out of nowhere so he offered no resistance. I twisted his neck with my magic before tackling a second slaver. That fight was pretty quick, but when I got up from the corpse, the third slaver was prepared and looked at me with bit in muzzle. I glanced at the rifle attached and gulped. I may have acted too rashly.

Before he could fire however, the green pony jumped up on top of the slaver. He grunted in surprise, the bit falling out of his mouth. I yelled a cry and fired my revolver three times, two to the chest and the third missing. It didn’t matter, he died pretty quick.

“Jaded! Wait for…w-what happened here?” I turned to see Lichen leaning on a bare tree, his chest heaving.

“Oh just some slavers. I dealt with them though. They were trying to get this poor mare…who happens to be a pegasus…uhhh,” I stammered after realizing that there were two feathery wings attached to said mare.

“Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I don’t know how to repay you!” The mare hugged me, her bright red mane blew into my mouth causing me to splutter.

“Urk, y-your welcome. Gah, you c-can let go of me n-now…please…can’t b-breathe!” Lichen pulled the clingy mare off of me who left me heaving for air. A flurry of apologies flew out of the mare while I recovered. I waved it off just in case she started grovelling, that would be awkward.

“W-wait, don’t I know you from somewhere?” I blinked, and looked at the pegasus with a new eye. She looked very familiar.

“Um…I don’t think so? I’ve never been below the clouds,” the mare gasped in horror, “oh no! My father is going to be so mad! I promised him that I’ll be home for dinner, it must be past midnight! Oh no, oh no, oh no…”

I stared at the clouds covering the sky and wondered how she knew. I kept on looking to see any glimpse of the night…or day.

“How old are you?” Lichen’s voice brought me back to the pegasus.

“S-sixteen, why?”

“Aren’t you a bit young for this? Well, maybe you aren’t, I don’t know much about the Enclave,” Lichen shrugged and turned his attention to the slavers. He started pulling the battle saddles off of them and saw if it could fit him.

“I do know you! You’re that filly that broke into my shop and stole all of my jam!” My surprised gasp drew the attention of Lichen, who seemed to be having trouble with a rifle.

“T-that was real? I thought that was a dream…I dreamt of Rainbow Dash bringing me back to my family…wait, does that mean she’s real too?” the mare’s eyes lit up with joy as she hugged me again, crushing my ribs…again. Lichen chuckled but didn’t help. I whimpered and sunk down in defeat.

Author's Note

If your wondering why I added Rainbow Dash into this, it's because of Project Horizons by Somber. In that story, RD got turned into a ghoul and she wanders around helping innocents, like Strawberry here(oops, spoilers).

Kudos to Somber for creating a great story.

Chapter 5: HUZZAH!

The Jaded Files: The Beginning

Red Lichen, Fresh Strawberry(the pegasus), and I stood in front of the hospital.

When I heard that her name was Strawberry, I gasped with jealousy. Strawberries are delicious and arguably the best ingredient for jams. I demanded that she would get one for me, she protested that she couldn’t go back above the clouds, much to my disappointment. I said she could join us, considering she can’t go anywhere. It took a while but she accepted my offer.

“So what’s the game plan?” Lichen looked at me, a new battle saddle fitted with a rifle and a shotgun.

“Why are we looking for this again?” Strawberry fidgeted with her laser pistol she stole before heading below the clouds.

“We are doing this for the glory of Jam! Also, I don’t know what our game plan is. Just head in and hope for the best?” I shrugged, my revolver bobbed upwards with my shrug.

“Great,” despite Lichen’s sarcasm, we headed inside.

We opened the door and pointed our guns all around us, prepared if anything jumped us. We stood huddled in the doorway, before realizing there was nothing. I shook myself in embarrassment and started forwards.

***

It was taking a while, because of how slow we were moving, jumping at every sound. A pillar crumbled from the slightest touch, and it took forever to get Strawberry to get out from under a bench.

“What are we looking for exactly? A box or something?” Lichen called out through his bit.

“I’m not sure, I’ve never done business with Ditzy before,” I admitted, “just check everything that looks remotely like jam.”

“Like this?” I whirled around to see Strawberry holding a jar of a green substance with a wing. I rushed forwards and grabbed it from her. I inspected it closely and confirmed that it was jam. I tentatively put a hoof in the jar and took a nibble. Tomato. I thanked her and hoofed the jar into my saddlebag.

“We should look for more…”

“Like those?” Strawberry once again pointed to a faded yellow box and once again I rushed forward. I heaved the crate on its side and looked inside. I squee’d with joy as I saw the contents. Jam!

***

“What are you going to do now?” I asked Strawberry, our little adventure over. With a jolt, I realized that I didn’t have anything to do either.

“I don’t know, travel the world. Maybe find Rainbow Dash again…maybe I should go back to the Enclave and get a proper Dashite mark,” she shifted to present a sliced strawberry cutie mark.

“Aw, don’t do that. It’s pretty.”

“What about you Jaded? We got the recipe, you’ve made me my jam, I paid you in full, and I got a sick battle saddle!” Lichen grinned.

“I don’t know. Life in Meatlocker is kinda boring, maybe I’ll travel the world as well. I’ve always wanted to do that as a filly. Maybe go to Canterlot, see where I grew up. See if my friend Rainy Days is still alive, I highly doubt it though. She had a filly you know, Puppysmiles I think it was. If they didn’t survive, I’ll find their bodies and bury them, they deserve that much,” my voice cracked a bit. I haven’t talked this much in a long time, “what about you Lichen? Got any interesting plans?”

“I was planning to go to Dise, maybe find my friend there. I haven’t seen him in a long time,” we slipped into an uncomfortable silence. The three of us looked at each other awkwardly.

“W-what if we travel together?” Strawberry looked at us with hopeful eyes. I couldn’t resist! She’s too cute with those adorable strawberry eyes.

“I like that idea, The Travelling Trio! Watch out Equestria!” I stood up and struck a heroic pose.

“Sounds good to me, where should we go first?” Lichen smiled at my antics.

“Hey guys, haven’t you noticed that all three of us have basically the same color palettes?” Strawberry asked in surprise.

We do? I gleaned downwards and we did. My dark green coat, Lichen’s murky green coat, and Strawberry’s bright green coat. Our manes too! My faded red mane, Lichen’s dusty red mane, and Strawberry’s bright red mane.

I grinned at them, “I think this’ll be the beginning of a great friendship!”

THE END!

Author's Note

I hoped you like my little easter eggs in this story, if you don't know any of them, that's ok.

Kudos to the other Fallout Equestria authors who made me stay in the fandom.

Chapter 3: Talks

The Jaded Files: The Beginning

“So, I think we should properly introduce ourselves before we go on this adventure. We did sort of just rush out of there without getting to know each other,” Earthy smiled at me.

I was lying down, under a small rocky overhang that he found while traveling to Meatlocker. After I went unconscious, he decided to loot the raiders and drag me all the way here. While he was treating my wound, he noticed something peculiar about my fur.

“Alright, what do you want to know about me?” I smiled as well, despite me not wanting to. Darn his handsome features making me do things!

“How about we do rapid fire questions. I ask, you answer, then vice versa,” Earthy poked at the fire that lay between them, “what’s your name?”

“Jaded Jam, I thought you already knew this. What’s yours?”

“Red Lichen. You don’t look like a unicorn, yet you can do magic. How?”

“Magic. I really like your name, a whole lot better than Earthy. Why did you come to Meatlocker?”

Lichen held up a hoof, “hold up. You didn’t answer my question, how is it that you can do magic?”

“I’m a unicorn, duh. Now answer my question!” I waved my hooves around in a random pattern, I had no idea why I did this, maybe my subconscious mind was trying to dissuade him from asking more. No idea.

“I came to Meatlocker because I was looking for a friend, couldn’t find him. Where’s your horn?”

“Ah, a combination of a megaspell and Killing Joke. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. Who’s your friend?”

“Wait, wait, wait…a megaspell? But those haven’t been around for a hundred years!”

“Oh, you didn’t know I was a ghoul? I live in Meatlocker for Celestia’s sake!” I waved my hooves around in exasperation.

“But you look nothing like a ghoul! You look like a regular earth pony, none of this makes any sense…wait, where’s your cutie mark? How can you not have a cutie mark!” Poor Lichen looked terrible, his face clearly displaying his confusion.

“I lost it? I’m not sure what happened to it, I don’t even remember it. Eh, the past is the past, and I’m too tired to go delving in my memories,” and with that, I collapsed on the floor and fell asleep. If Lichen tried anything to wake me up, I didn’t feel it.

Author's Note

Killing Joke: a nasty plant that'll play a 'joke' on you. This 'joke' always has a harmful affect to the victim.

Kudos to Doomande for inspiring me to make this story...even if it was under a misunderstanding.