“If you want some advice on how to deal with this, I’d suggest you take your own advice and go fuck yourself. Did wonders for me!”
Those words had come out of Flash Sentry’s mouth, Sunset’s now officially permanent ex-boyfriend, and they hadn’t been able to leave her mind since then. At first because of confusion, but after a quick message to princess Twilight, she had confirmed that yes, Flash had gone through the mirror and quite literary fucked himself.
“Because of course you would take that literally, you dingus,” Sunset muttered as she laid on her bed, staring angrily at the roof before sighing. “But I guess it was the best way you could have taken it.” Sunset had apologized for shouting at him, and she had meant it. She liked Flash, it had started with her wanting someone that would do anything she said, but…
Sunset frowned. “But what? He’s a doofus that constantly drives me mad. Why was I with him?” The question seemed to scare Sunset, and she didn’t understand why.
She also couldn’t find an answer to it.
“Whatever, like I need him. I’ll just… find someone else… anyone will be better. Like…” Flash’s words resurfaced in her mind.
“Did wonders for me!”
“He did look immensely happier… ah, fuck me.” Sunset pulled out her phone and searched for the only name in her contacts list that was still written in Ponish. “It isn’t like the idea hasn’t crossed my mind before.” She dialed the number and waited for a few seconds till a voice responded.
“Hey Sunset, how’s world domination going?”
“Yeah… changed my plans a while ago.”
“Butt kicked?” Sunset grumbled. “Definitely butt kicked. I can tell you’re not calling me from prison so, what’s up?”
“Would you mind if I go see you in person for a while?”
“Sure, I have a few hours free. I’ll send you the address of my office.”
“K’, thank you.” Sunset hung up and let out a sigh. “Well, that was easy. Wait, office?!”
Indeed, after a few minutes of public transport and an elevator ride, Sunset found herself in front of an office door with a bronze plaque that said LPC Sunset Shimmer.
Some seconds after knocking, Sunset’s counterpart opened the door.
She was slightly taller than her, her fiery hair tamed by a ponytail except for her trademark red lock resting on her forehead, and a pair of office glasses rested on her nose.
She gave Sunset a wide grin. “Welcome, myself, come right in and take a seat.”
“Thanks, Shimmy. Sorry for the rush.” Sunset entered the office, quickly scanning the interior. It didn’t seem to have much other than two big sofas and a glass coffee table where a rubik's cube and one of those pendulum things rested. Some potted plants and a clock near a window on the left gave a bit more ambiance to the room, and Sunset had to admit that they were enough. There were two doors at the back where she guessed the bathroom and kitchen were installed.
Sunset seated herself in one of the sofas, sinking a bit into the soft cushions, and her counterpart did the same on the other.
“Before we start, I wanted to ask you. How’re my parents?”
Sunset drummed her fingers on her thighs. “Well, I… told them to go fuck themselves, and that I don’t want to see them ever again. They still send me money out of… I don't know, pity? But that's kind of it.”
Shimmy let out a hollowed laugh. “That’s pretty good.”
Sunset tilted her head. “You know you could’ve done that yourself, right?”
“I… don’t have your bravery,” Shimmy said, her hands shaking for a moment. “But enough about me, what brings you here?”
“Well, technically the advice of a friend.”
“Oh, and what advice was that?”
“To go fuck myself.”
Shimmy looked at her in the eyes for a few seconds, then at her body a bit more closely. “I’m not saying no, but, I feel like there’s a bit more to it than that.”
“Well, the full story is a bit embarrassing.”
"Did you tell him to go fuck himself first?"
"Yeah. I felt bad about it and apologized, but it seems the 'advice' worked pretty well for him."
"Then what's worrying you about it?"
"Well… right after I apologized… I… tried to get back with him."
“Did you want to?”
“What?”
“Get back with him.”
“I… I’m not sure. This was the first time he said no, which was a big surprise coming from him, and that made me think about it a bit more… deeply, I suppose.”
“And what did you discover when you did that?”
“I… I think I got scared.”
“Of what?”
“Being… alone. But that doesn't make sense. It’s not like I was never alone before. I even ditched Flash myself for a time.”
“But then got back with him.”
“Yes…”
“Maybe it’s not a case of being alone and more of feeling alone.”
“Well, I'm definitely both right now.”
“Reason why you approved of the idea of going out of your way to bang your human counterpart.”
Sunset shrugged. “I didn't have many reasons not to at least try.”
"Oh, I don't blame you, but back on track. Feeling alone is a quite complicated issue, since you can be surrounded by people, even loving ones, and still be alone."
"Then why would I get back with Flash every time? Why does it hurt that-" Sunset immediately shut down her own question.
Shimmy simply gave her a calm, understanding smile. "That's the other half of the equation, isn't it?"
"We're gonna 'math' the problem now?"
Shimmy chuckled. "Now, I'm gonna do something a bit extreme. I need you to answer me with complete honesty."
Sunset shrugged again. "Shoot."
"How many friends do you have?"
Sunset took a second to respond. "Five. Six if things are ok with Flash. Maybe."
"How did you meet these five friends?"
"I… ruined their friendships." Sunset looked at her counterpart, expecting a reaction, but Shimmy simply nodded for her to continue. "Then they… 'kicked my butt', and Princess Twilight asked them to care for me and teach me friendship."
"Well, that doesn't really sound like friendship, to be honest."
"It's the best I deserve."
Shimmy raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"
"I excluded the fact that I threw a fireball at them and tried to invade another world."
"Did someone die?"
"No."
"Did someone get hurt?"
"No. Well, I got blasted into a crater. Had to fill it up along with fixing a wall I destroyed."
"Sounds like hard work."
"It was." Sunset slumped into the couch at the memory, she had never done so much physical work before that.
"So, only you got hurt, you repaired the damages, and I assumed you apologized?" Shimmy counted with her fingers.
"Yes."
"Then why would you not deserve better than five chaperones?"
"I mean, I still emotionally hurt a lot of people before that."
"Do you still do it?"
Sunset's hands clutched the sofa with force. "No! I'm trying to help and do better than before. To leave that past behind me."
"Trying?" Shimmy asked, moving a bit closer.
Sunset tried to deflect the question, but a rush of restrained anger pushed the words out for her. "They… they hate me! Everyone in school. Even my 'friends' to some extent, I'm sure. And, I can't really blame them but… but… but Celestia dammit, I'm trying! I'm trying to show that I changed and that I want to make up for what I did, but no matter what I do or say or how many insults I shoulder, everyone just treats me the same. It makes me feel like all my effort is worthless. I really want to… to just…" Shimmy's arm went over Sunset's shoulders and pulled her closer, offering a shoulder for support. "I feel exhausted after each day, and I don't really want to face it again in the morning."
"It's okay, Sunset. Take a deep breath." Sunset filled her lungs with air and exhaled, repeating the process till her heart calmed down. "That was the other half of the equation. You're angry and frustrated, but you don't have an outlet for it, unless it's-"
"Something petty. With someone that won't throw it back at my face." Sunset concluded. "I guess I didn't change that much after all."
"Changes take time, Sunset. You're still a prideful and determined individual, and those two things are getting tested by your new way of life. It'll get better with time."
"I don't know if I'll make it. Every day I feel closer to snap back."
"Your relationship with your friends certainly isn't helping that. No matter how many mistakes you make, if they really want for you to be a better person, they need to nourish that change."
"What do you suggest? Getting new friends?"
"Well, it’s an option, but you can also talk with them about this. If they really are your friends, they'll hear you and help you. And you won't feel so alone anymore."
Sunset took another deep breath. "I can try."
"That's all I'm asking." Shimmy looked at the clock on her wall. "My next patient will be here in a few minutes. Can I see you next Friday?"
"I can't really afford weekly sessions. Your parent's money barely covers expenses."
Shimmy chuckled. "Oh, like I would charge myself for help."
Sunset smiled, then had a stupid idea. "You know…" she leaned closer to Shimmy, running a finger under her chin. "I'm sure we can arrange for a…" She leaned even closer, their lips almost touching, causing her counterpart to start blushing. "... different kind of payment."
Shimmy's blush was suddenly interrupted by a hearty laugh. "You did not just use that line!"
"Oh, come on! The set up was perfect," Sunset laughed in kind.
"I see that smile hasn't disappeared with time," Sunset said as she spotted Flash walking through the halls of Canterlot High. "That's a good thing, it looks good on you."
"Sunset!" Flash exclaimed as the redhead approached him. "Glad to see you're okay, I got a bit worried when you suddenly went off the radar on everyone."
Sunset crossed her arms, looking briefly at the floor. "Yeah. Needed some time to… 'find myself'."
Flash gave her a knowing grin. "So you engaged in some 'self-reflection' too?"
Sunset chuckled as she rolled her eyes. "Your puns haven't gotten any better." She had missed this.
"Do you want to keep hearing them or would it be too awkward?" Flash asked with a hint of seriousness in his voice.
Sunset smiled. "We may not be together anymore, but don't think you'll get rid of me so easily. You're my best friend." Sunset's gaze went to the floor again. "Even after all I did."
"Hey, I already accepted your apology, we can move past all that." Flash offered a fist to Sunset. "Besides, I would lament losing my practice buddy."
Sunset chuckled again and bumped his fists. "Remind me to also ask the girls if I can join their band."
"You're not with them already?" Flash shook his head in disappointment. "They're missing some great talent."
Sunset laughed, feeling the weight now fully off her shoulders. "I guess I haven't really asked either, but thank you for the praise."
"By the way, I'm planning on having dinner with Soarin this weekend."
"Already dating someone else? You hurt me." Sunset placed a hand on her chest and made an exaggerated pout.
"Hey, I was on a roll," Flash shrugged with a grin. "But seriously, do you wanna come with us? I would like to introduce him to you, maybe start turning around that whole she-demon thing. What do you say?"
"That's… yeah, sure! I would love to," Sunset stammered, caught by surprise.
"Great! But there's one condition."
"What is it?"
"You promise you won't shove fries in my face."
"Another thing I won't really live down," Sunset laughed. "Fine, I promise. But I'll have to shove the bill to you. Kind of short on money at the moment."
"No worries." They both heard the bell ring, announcing the start of classes. "Gotta go, see you later. And… I'm happy you could help yourself."
Sunset laughed as he left. "It's surprisingly good advice."
