Hold me in your arms

After dropping Applejack off at the farm and getting a nod of thanks from her brother who greeted me at the door as Applejack walked into the house, I made my way down the steps to the car that was still running and got in the driver seat. I sat there for a few minutes thinking of what might happen when I get home and the punishment that will come, I shake my head of the thought and pulled out of the long dirt driveway and back on the county road I came in on while I turn the music up letting the sound wash over me like before.

I make my way out to county road H and turn onto it trying to remember what way I took getting out here. Not really caring about how fast I was going or what time it was I just drive, slowly watching the rural scene turn to an urban sprawl, from dirt to asphalt the car ride got a lot smoother. My music went in a different direction though deciding to play some of that good northern music that I love, with its melancholic melody and haunting lyrics

Back in town I make my way over CHS looking at the school and decide to pull into the student lot and just sit there for a moment and think, looking out over the few faculty that were still working.

“Fuck this shit,” I sigh out while resting my head on the steering wheel, “everyone is getting in my business after seeing these damn scars, wish everyone would leave me alone about it.”

There was a knock on the driver side window and a shadow blocking the late afternoon sun. A muffled voice barely cuts through the music, “Mr. Blackwood?”

I look over, my head digging into the leather wrapping of the steering wheel. Principal Celestia was looking in at me with a concerned expression like a mother would give a child that just took a fall from the playground. Another knock on the window and a try for the door handle.

I raise my arm and let it crash down on the window switch with a thud, as the soft hum of the window rolled down, “Mr. Blackwood what are you doing back at school?” Celestia questioned.

“Thinking about things and stuff, and how everyone has suddenly taken an interest in these scars across my body. Fuck it’s annoying,” I huff out the last part sounding more tired than Celestia.

“Well that’s because people are curious about how you got them, like the one around your neck,” she said, her voice having an undertone of authority to it.
“Everyone looks at me with pity for the one on my neck when I tell them about it, except for Luna who understood when she saw it but her touching it was something completely unexpected. Also I noticed scars on her upper arm, possibly from cutting,” I tell Celestia, a little smirk coming to my lips as I mention her sister.

“Mr. Blackwood don’t, you don’t know what happened for her to get those.”

“I could hazard a guess, those scars on her arm while straight which implies a razor but the healing on them was not as clean as a razor plus they are on one specific part of her arm and not scattered like normal cutters tend to do. So my best guess would be barbed wire.” I flatly and calmly tell the principal. The subtle hint of fear in her eyes was all I needed to know to see I struck a nerve. “So did you push her or did Luna trip?”

The scowling face of Celestia looking down at me was a sight to behold, and as quick as it came, it was replaced with regret or remorse and a long drawn out sigh, “Mr. Blackwood don’t assume anything about someone’s past, you might regret it.”

“Is that a threat Celestia? Because if it is then you’ve just made a powerful enemy that won’t go away for the next two years,” I tell her, my voice going low and my eyes locking onto hers while there is no expression on my face.

Celestia looks down at my balled up fist hanging out of the rolled down window and backs up some, “I do not wish that I was only giving you a warning not to meddle in affairs that are not meant for you.”

“Still sounds like a threat to me and it’s making my paranoia act up.”

“Its not.”

“Fine. Have a good night Celestia.” I calmly say to her as I roll the window up.

The look on Celestia’s face showed that she was disturbed at how calmly I changed emotions, going from hostile to paranoid and finally landing on calm.

I arrive home and see another car parked on the side of the road, one I’ve never seen before. The dark blue paint faded from the years of abuse in the elements and not enough washes and waxing. After parking the car in the garage and closing the garage door I go in through the door passing the washer and dryer in the washroom on my way to the dining area connected to the kitchen. Minding my own business not really seeing the eyes from the living room on me as I quietly walk through the kitchen on my way to the fridge for a cola.

“Milo,” my adoptive mom calls but I don’t hear her at all.

“Milo, answer me when I’m talking to you,” finally raising her voice enough so I am shaken out of my deep thought already up the first few steps on my way to my bedroom.

“What?” I reply in a flat tone. Looking over the half wall that follows the stairs to the landing, “oh, hey Lulu I was wondering who’s gremlin was out front,” I look over at her making intense eye contact before my features soften some.

“Please Mr. Blackwood it’s Vice principal Luna even when I’m visiting my student’s homes.” Luna states, her tone neutral and professional, almost like a completely different person from earlier today.

“Very well, I’ll be right back excuse me for a moment,” I tell Luna as I still stare deeply into her eyes.

I slowly walk up the stairs as my foot falls are barely audible except for the small creaks from the warped wood below the carpet. Making it to my room and closing the door making sure it was locked before I took out the rum popped the cork and poured myself a drink.

***

The living room was silent as Luna and my adoptive parents sat in awkward silence as the shuffling from above started to become louder, “I think he’s doing it again,” My adoptive mom said to my dad.

“Can I go talk to him, I think I can get through to him,” Luna says with a calm tone.

“You can try but he won’t listen when he gets like this,” My dad says, “his door will most likely be locked but if it isn’t you can go in and try to talk some sense into that boy,”

Luna nods and slowly gets up from her seat and heads up the stairs. After getting to the top and stopping at the closed door in front of her and tried the handle, “Milo it’s Luna, can I come in?” She said softly.

An soft click was all she heard as I unlocked the door, “so did you get sent up here or did you volunteer?, I ask with a small slur as the alcohol started to take effect.

“I came of my own volition, why are you drinking?”

“Because it calms the dragons, come in if you want.”

“You shouldn’t be drinking Mr. Blackwood.”

I give her a look as I take a seat on the wooden stool over by my guitars, “I know but I don’t really care at the moment.” I told her as I picked up my song book from the desk to my left.

“Is it because of her?” Luna inquired as she picked up a framed picture from my desk.

“You wouldn’t understand Luna, that was taken on New Years when we were in our last year of Jr. High. We snuck off to be together and ended up on the roof top balcony overlooking the town just as the fireworks brought in the new year we shared a kiss that lead to the most passionate and intense love making we’ve had. Then we started the second semester of our last year before high school in the middle of January, talking of getting engaged freshman year then before I knew it it was the end of the school year.” I tell her the story behind the picture.

Luna sits down on the edge of my bed looking at the picture in her hands, the smiling face of her student vastly contrasts the face across from her now, Luna looks at me and sees a small tear roll down my cheek as I remember that night fondly.

“The last day of school she told me that she was pregnant, then it all came so suddenly to me in that moment that I love this beautiful woman and want to spend the rest of my life with her. She proposed to me with this,” I say trying to keep from breaking down as I reach into my shirt and pull out the Mjöllnir around my neck, as the beautifully ornamented silver hammer shone in the light of the fading day coming through the window.

“It’s beautiful, what did you give her in return?” Luna quietly asks.

“She taught me to play guitar early on when we were in grade school, I kept with it and I wrote her a song. I told her that I’m no good with words but you are the one I want to be with for the rest of my life, do you want to hear the song I sang to her?” I ask Luna as I reach for the guitar sitting on the stand next to one of my electric guitars.

some people have dreams of being famous, some have dreams of being rich, my dream is to have you by my side as we pass through that long tunnel of time.

Now I’ve been down and out but since I met you dear you’ve turned my life around, I know I’m no good with words and they came out wrong but I have to say I love you with this song.

With you by my side we can go places I’ve never dreamed, take my hand my dear and everything will be fine as long as I have you by my side.
Cause you’re the love of my life now and forever, stay with me even when the grey is in our hair.
Your smile is the light in my darkness and with you I’d go anywhere.

Now darlin I’ll take your hand in marriage as we walk down the road of life, all I need is you standing here by my side to be fulfilled till the day I die.

I let the guitar ring out on the last chord before completely breaking down and sobbing violently, “I miss her so much Luna!”

Luna’s face is streaming with tears as she sees me sob uncontrollably, “its going to be okay Milo, these things happen,” she says trying to comfort me.

I set my guitar back in its stand and get up from the stool I was sitting on as I reach for the cup filled with cola, hovering my hand over it before taking a few steps towards Luna kneeling down and ducking my head between her legs searching for the bottle under my bed. I grab hold of it and sit back on my legs while holding the clear bottle filled with the amber liquid.

“I’ve got some to share if you’d have a drink with me,” I say in a shaky voice.

“Milo, you know I can’t do that its inappropriate for me an older woman let alone as an authority figure that is supposed to teach and guide students plus I am responsible for you 8 hours of the day for the next two years, so I will pass on your offer,” Luna states.

“Looks like I’m drinking alone again,” I mumble as the pop of the cork cleared the lip of the bottle in my hands.

I slowly get to my feet, placing a hand on Luna’s knee to stabilize myself some. I take a few steps over to the stereo on my dresser, turning it on and connecting my phone to the Bluetooth I start to play some slow dirty blues music.

“Milo, is this really necessary?” The woman on my bed speaks up while eyeing my as I sit down next to her.

“In all reality probably not the healthiest way to deal with what I’m going through but at least my dragons will be silenced enough so I can think,” I reply coldly.

“Why don’t you give me the bottle and talk this out with me,” Luna says softly as she reaches for the bottle in my hand.

I move it slightly out of her reach and take a long pull, the amber liquid burns my throat as it travels down to my stomach, then came the warm numbing feeling that I am so familiar with.

“On top of loosing my fiancé and the child she was carrying, I don’t even know where I come from,” I slur in a eerily calm voice.

“Don’t be stupid Milo, your parents are down stairs and you have a loving family that cares for you,” Luna replies with a tone of reassurance in her voice.

“Please, you mean my adoptive family. The only reason why they got me is because they thought they couldn’t have kids of their own but three and a half years later after me they had my brother. The kid they so desperately wanted, I’m nothing more than someone’s mistake that was abandoned because they didn’t want me,” I say to Luna as I look into her moderate opal eyes.

The music plays softly in the background as the narrow back beat sets the precise tempo and bass keeps the rhythm while the guitar screams out a hauntingly intense dirty solo. Luna places a hand on my shoulder to comfort me again, tracing the horseshoe shaped scar around my jawline.

“Please don’t Lulu,” I tell her in a low voice.

“Sorry”

“Its fine, that scar is the most sensitive of the ones I have and if I’ve been drinking well let’s just leave it at that,” I reply as my voice shakes a little from luna’s touch.

“I have a scar that is sensitive like yours,” Luna says offhandedly.

“The one on your upper arm or the ones on your thighs?” I question.

“I haven’t told you abou-”

“I know a cutter when I see one, and from the lack of scars on your arms aside from the one on your bicep which I’m guessing something happened between you and your sister, then you most likely have scars on your upper thighs near your hip on your left side. Although you are right handed but I’m guessing you are ambidextrous,” I tell her, the level of shock on her face is all I need to know that she is terrified.

“Milo how do you know that, my sister is the only one that knows I use to cut and the barbed wire incident when we were younger,” Luna says with a bit of fear in her voice.

I cup Luna’s face in my hand and bring her close, the tension between us is thick and heavy. I stroke my thumb on her cheek some and sigh, “Lulu, I can see it in your eyes. Although you are normally the stone faced stoic one which is the opposite of your sister who is more motherly and caring even when handing out punishments, your eyes betray you,”

“I don’t know weather to be afraid of you right now or impressed that you could easily see through me,” Luna replies with a turn of her head.

“I don’t see through you, that’s what everyone gets wrong when I tell them what I picked up on after meeting them. I see your pain and your loneness, searching for someone to ease that and make you feel normal or as normal as you can be.” I tell her before I take another pull from the bottle of rum in my hand.

I feel a hand on mine and the bottle slowly removes itself from my grasp, the slosh of liquid fills the empty space between songs on the radio and a satisfied gasp escapes Luna’s lips. Looking over her features from her moderately curvy hips to her generous bust and slender shoulders, those opal eyes and soft lips drawing me closer and closer to her face. I lean in close enough to brush my lips on hers, her breath smelled of rum and her hair smelled of nightshade with a hint of lavender, intoxicating in their own rights. I pull away as Luna leaned closer to me and I wrapped her in a tight hug.

“I can’t Lulu, although I really want to I just can’t,” I whisper in her ear, “even though its been two years I can’t.”

“I know I shouldn’t have taken advantage of this situation when you are opening up to me, I should go.” She says as she hands me the bottle of rum while standing up.

“Lulu,” I call to her.

“Yes Milo?”

“Why did you come over?” I reply.

The deep blush on her face tells me all I need to know, “I wanted to check on you since my sister called me after she saw you were sitting in the parking lot at school.”

“So you know about that little interaction, aside from the threat I’m glad that you came over,” I tell her as I get up and wrap my arms around her.

My hands wrap her in a tight hug and I stand there with her head on my shoulder. I hear her inhale deeply as my right hand traces circles on her lower back slowly moving lower, feeling light kisses on my chest and damp spots on my shirt, I look down at the woman in my arms as tears started to flow from her eyes as she looked up at me, the music on my stereo started to play a slow song.

“What’s wrong Lulu?”

“Why do I feel safe when I’m with you?”

“I don’t understand,” I reply softly as I wipe away her tears.

“When I first saw your scars I thought something really bad happened to you, but after hearing what you’ve been through and the stories on how you got them I understand that you are in so much pain just like I am.” Luna says, her voice slightly muffled from burying her face in my chest.

“I’ll help you through your pain Lulu, come here,” I say softly as I lift her chin up and kiss her deeply.

My hand on her lower back grabbed her pert ass and squeezed, my hand sunk a little in the jeans that hugged her waist and lower body tightly. A small gasp escapes her lips as I lower my other arm down, placing my hands a bit below her tight ass I lift Luna up to my waist. Her legs wrap around me as her arms lock behind my head, her breath is heavy in my ear as she starts to grind back and forth while I hold her up.

“Stop teasing me,” Luna begs as she looks at me with pleading eyes.

“You’re too cute when I do Lulu,” I reply to her comment as I walk over to the edge of the bed and lay her down on top of the mattress. I kiss her and trail down her neck stopping at her collarbone. Small gasps and moans fill the room along with the soft music playing in the background. I lift her loose T-shirt slightly as I trail more kisses down her chest to her smooth stomach as I cup a breast in my hand under the thin lace bra she wore.

Luna arches her back as I pinch and tweak her nipple, “s-st-stop please Milo, t-th-is isn’t r-right.” She says between gasps and moans.

“What’s wrong Lulu?” I ask planting a kiss on her navel.

“You’re only sixteen and I’m twenty nine, plus I’m your vice principal a person of authority for you.” She says panting some, “I can’t do this with one of my students, I’d loose my job.”

“I see,” I reply as I get up from the prone position I was in above Luna, walking over to the desk where the bottle of rum sat I grabbed it and took large gulps to numb myself.

“I think I should go.”

“Yea, I’ll see you at school Monday, have a good night Luna,” I say, there was no emotion in my voice.