A scarf colored a light blue hue. That’s all it ever was and would ever be. Destined to simply be the purpose of accessory or warming one during a chilly night. That’s what would be expected of any old scarf and what anypony would use it for. It was just a scarf. Nothing new, nothing astounding, just a scarf. But the scarf had more importance to me.
It was fluffy and soft to the touch. You could rub your face against it and it would feel soothing and cozy. Kind of like sharing a scarf with a friend when they forgot there’s and they shivered and clasped their hooves together, trying to use their own body heat for warmth. But instead, you wrapped the other end of the scarf around their neck and shared your warmth with them. A feeling of pleasantness would ensue as you and your generous friend continued your walk across the snowy path, sharing that same scarf. This scarf use to bring me that same feeling once too.
The material has a hint of freshly cut timber and an indescribable smell I can’t exactly put my hoof on. This scarf once resided on a ground full of leaves near a stack of fresh timber logs so it appears most of its scent was inherited from the location it was left. But the other one, it had a familiar smell that gave me a sense of nostalgia of a memory I couldn’t remember. Was it really nostalgia if all I saw were blues and a silhouette of someone I barely knew? This memory didn’t bring me happiness or sorrow, it left me empty inside. A lonely empty. I didn’t quite like it so I chose to press on.
My hooves began to leave the grass and trot along soft sand that squished and escaped whenever I put my weight on it. One hoof after the other, they left traces of my previous actions behind me, imprinted in the sand for anypony to find. But I did not fret as I was alone and no one followed after me. It was a strange way of comforting myself as I was more venerable alone and helpless, but it also meant no one was actively attempting to pursue me at the moment. That wouldn’t quite stop my enemies and one in particular though from finding me if they so chose to waste their energy on me.
A soft breeze blew the small separated strands of my dark blue mane away before returning them to there rightful place once it passed. It was weak, not strong enough to really make a difference. I also knew what it was like to feel small and incapable of making an impact. Ponies tend to take advantage of those who can’t fight for themselves and bully them until their last stand. It’s quite sickening and brings an awful feeling in my stomach. I’d never understand those who find solace and enjoyment in tearing others down until they can barely stand themselves. It was horrific and disgusting. No amount of anguish and jealousy would ever be able to justify some of the things I myself had been put through by somepony lost to his emotions.
My hoof prints in the sand would eventually end as I found myself face to face with a small lake. It was a beautiful aqua color with the reflection of the setting sun bleeding its orange rays into the wavy surface. The lake behaved sort of like the ocean as it washed up over the already wet sand and retreated back afterwards. I moved closer to the point the water only lapped up the tips of my hooves. It tickled and enveloped them for a moment each time before returning with the rest of the waves.
I brought my hooves up to my neck and gently pulled and prodded at the scarf wrapped around it snugly. It eventually came loose and I unwrapped it, letting it dangle around my right hoof. It hung just above the active waves crashing above the sand and back down again. I wondered if I should just let the scarf go and let it float amongst the waves, lost from my clutch and memories forever. Was all of this worth it for just a leftover scarf? This was all I would receive in the end for something that use to be, something that was more, something that didn't matter anymore. Was it all worth having such a useless item?
The scarf began to slip further as I angled my hoof downward. Memories and things I no longer wanted to remember flit through my mind, the corners of my eyes stinging with tears. The feelings of hopelessness, desperation, admiration, and self hatred coming back to me in waves, quite like the water lapping at my hooves. It was as if these feelings and moments had only grown more intense as the scarf slipped away from my grasp. Love, frustration, pain, sorrow. It was all too much for me as I stole the scarf back to myself before it could fall into the lake. I held it to my chest while panting, tears rolling down my cheeks from the unpleasant experience. I couldn't simply rid myself of this item like I previously wanted to, it was if it was attached to me and refused to leave.
I shook my head, making my decision. I stepped away from the lake, scarf in hoof. I threw the scarf around my neck as I made my way to my next destination. There was no point in getting rid of something that didn't bring me any sort of relief when it was gone. Instead, I chose to keep this small testament to what I use to have. Although it was a reminder of something that had a terrible outcome, it also sort of brought me peace and a reason to smile. I had overcome that part of my life already and with this scarf, perhaps I could make a new outcome instead.
