A Shadow of Myself

Andrea was at a loss. Charlotte had managed to evade her in the crowds. How a bright red pony with a multicolored mane being followed around by an elephant could manage that, she had no clue. At this point, she'd given up on finding her sister and decided to attempt to enjoy the festivities. Charlotte should be fine. There wasn't anybody dangerous about. At least, there shouldn't be. Charlotte said Phobia rescinded her threat so that danger was gone, and pissed off as Andrea was at the former warden, Phobia never lied. It was time to relax and have some fun before whatever terror awaited them tomorrow.

If only her parents would cooperate with her having fun.

"We accept that Charlotte is necessary for this thing-" her dad said.

"Unhappy about it, but we accept it," her mom cut in.

"-but there's no reason for you to go," her dad continued pleading. "You and Charlotte both said it; she will be surrounded by powerful people on all sides that can keep her safe. There's no need for you both to be in danger."

Andrea facepalmed. "Make up your minds. Are we in danger or not?"

Her dad started to answer, but her mom pushed him aside. "Yes! You're in incredible danger! Those things killed your sister! Charlotte might be needed for this, but there's no need to endanger both of you. We have already lost one child. We don't want to lose our other two in one fell swoop!"

"I need to guard her."

"Let someone else take a bullet for once!" her mom shouted before breaking down in a sob.

Andrea considered reaching out to her mom and hugging her. She had even lifted her arms to do so. Unfortunately, the angles were all wrong. Her mom was even shorter than Charlotte was when Charlotte was human, and Andrea towered over her too high. She let her arms fall to her sides and sighed as her dad hugged her mom instead.

"I know I can't make you understand, but this is something I have to do. It isn't just for Charlotte; it's for me," Andrea said, keeping her voice even and calm. She spotted a familiar pony a short distance away, petting a lamb. "Hey, there's Amicus. We should see how she's doing. She was the one who wanted to attend this thing."

"We should find your sister. I don't know where she's run off to," her mom replied, looking around at the crowd frettingly as she wiped her eyes.

"She's probably avoiding us," Andrea said. "And Amicus is my sister too…sort of."

"Why would she avoid us?" their mom asked. "It's her birthday and her last day before she goes off on that mission for who knows how long. She should be with her family."

How long this mission would be was a good question, one Andrea was worried about. "Last I saw, every other sentence to her, you were still trying to convince her not to go without saying you don't want her to go. She's probably avoiding us because of that."

Her mom started sobbing again, and the ponies stopped to watch in concern.

Andrea forced a smile and waved to the various ponies watching them. "Nothing to see here. My mom is just upset that her last kid is leaving the nest. You know how moms get about that."

That seemed to relax the ponies, who gave Andrea's mom sympathetic smiles before continuing to do fair activities. She was unsure if lots of bad feelings during the fair would disrupt anything, but she didn't want to be the cause of unease spreading.

"Kristin avoided us when she died," her dad said quietly.

Well, shit. She hadn't thought about that. How to fix this?

"Charlotte's going to be fine. Nothing will get her here, and we'll see her again when she returns to the hotel later," Andrea assured them in the kindest tone possible. "Let's talk to Amicus, and then maybe we can find Charlotte a birthday gift."

"We already got her birthday gifts. They're back at the hotel," her dad informed her as he continued to hold his crying wife. "You did get her something, right?"

Andrea rubbed the back of her head. "Um…I kinda forgot about her birthday until today."

"She's been reminding us daily that it was today!" her dad said in shocked disbelief.

"I've been focused on other stuff!" Andrea said defensively. "I've been teambuilding with the crusaders, trying to get Sunset to get me some guns-"

Her mom's head jerked up. "Guns?! Why do you need guns?!"

"To defend Charlotte and myself on this mission. If we run into trouble, I don't want to be stuck trying to physically wrestle with a bear again," Andrea answered. "I know how to handle a firearm. Andri had an old FBI friend who had been giving me lessons at the range."

"You never told us that!" her mom half-yelled.

"I didn't want you getting upset, and honestly, it was none of your business that I was doing it," Andrew replied. She didn't want to be rude, but she'd been dreading this conversation. "Andri learned how to handle a weapon at my age."

Her mom shook her head. "You aren't Andri. You were studying network security, something safe, not going into law enforcement."

"I wasn't going into law enforcement because I would inevitably either have to take off my earrings or have someone learn they aren't just jewelry. That's the only reason why I didn't go into law enforcement or the military," Andrea said flatly. "I'm a protector, Mom, just like Andri. I've never tried to avoid being like her. I admired her."

"So…is Sunset getting you guns?" her dad asked.

Andrea nodded. "She said they'd be ready, a regular handgun, a semi-automatic rifle, and a gun made for hooves. No matter what form I'm in, I should have something I should be able to use. Sunset might be a bitch, but she isn't going to let us go there, completely unable to defend ourselves."

"I would much rather you have them than not, and your mother will feel the same way when she has time to consider it," her dad replied. He then put on a smile. "Speaking of bitches; I saw my first ever diamond dog today. I couldn't really tell if it was a her. I didn't want to inspect down below. Bi-pedal creatures really should wear pants."

"You're changing the subject," her mom whined.

He nodded. "Yes, I am. Part of being a good man is learning when a woman isn't going to be persuaded to change her mind. Our daughter is a young woman…mare…adult female person-"

"Smooth, Dad," Andrea cut in.

"Not my best. I was going to try shetaur next," he confessed.

"Thank God you didn't," Andrea said flatly.

"Anyway, she isn't going to change her mind, so why cause the extra stress on our last day before seeing her off?"

Their last time seeing Kristin had been on a sour note, and they regret it. That's probably why Mom is crying about Charlotte avoiding them too. Andrea realized.

"You're right. I'm not changing my mind, nor is Charlotte," she said, but smiled. "So, let's go see how Amicus is doing and have some fun. Perhaps we'll get lucky and spot Charlotte. If we don't harass her, maybe she'll want to hang out with us."

Her parents reluctantly agreed, and they made their way over to the petting zoo area. Amicus was still there, but she was no longer petting lambs.

Her dad whistled. "That's not something you see outside a porno; a pony riding a pony."

The Equestrians had apparently imported several Earth horses, along with some other Earth animals, and one of the big attractions was giving pony rides on the horses. They even had saddles that looked explicitly designed for a pony rider. Amicus was on one of the horses, being led by the reigns in a circle by a crystal pony stallion. The saddle had an odd upward slope to it that she laid against while it partially propped her up. It had a few other hooks, and straps up front that Andrea assumed were to help a rider guide the horse but were currently unnecessary with the pony walking it around.

Amicus and the horse did two circles around the corral before coming to a stop next to a platform with a set of stairs. A pair of ponies helped get the elderly earth pony out of the saddle, which was a slow process, probably because they were concerned about accidentally hurting a mare of her advanced age. They eventually did get her out of the saddle, and she walked down the steps and joined Andrea and her parents.

"Aren't you a little old for pony rides?" Andrea asked with a raised eyebrow.

Amicus looked up at her and grinned. "Young lady, when you get to be a certain age, you cease to wish to act your age because it is simply too depressing to do so. Don't let Sunset know I let you know, but she actually had a set of first edition antique Transformer toys on prominent display in her bedroom, and I happen to know she packed them."

"So that's why no one is ever allowed in her bedroom," Andrea chuckled.

"Doubtful," Amicus replied.

A weird thought crossed Andrea's mind. "Wait…you were allowed in her room?"

"We sometimes met there to discuss legal issues. It was somewhere no one would bother us. She isn't just my sister, she's my client, and believe me, she needed a good lawyer on call," Amicus explained. She then shook her head. "Anyway, enough about my sister. It's a happy day, and talking about Sunset is always a way to bring the mood down."

"You seem to be in a better mood," her dad observed.

Amicus swished her tail. "Maybe it is all these happy smiling people. Maybe it is just getting out and doing things for the sheer pleasure of it. Perhaps it is just a magical day. Whatever it is, It does seem to be helping." Her smile slipped a little as she looked around. "I'm still hurting, we all are, but look at the older ponies around here. They lost loved ones, lived as slaves, got thrown out of their own time into an unfamiliar future, and what are they doing? They are laughing and enjoying each other's company."

The old earth pony had a distant look. "I'll be gone in a few years. I might have ten years left in the tank, if I'm lucky. I've lost a lot of loved ones over the years. That's part of getting old. Poor Sunset is going to probably end up burying all of us. I can't even imagine what those alicorns go through. I have asked myself, how do they manage it? The answer is simple; they accept death is a part of life. Sometimes it comes too soon, but it always comes. We honor those who die by living, and loving those who are still with us. I don't want to spend my final years miserable. I'm going to try to live, love, and laugh. I'll be reunited with the ones I've lost soon enough. Let me appreciate life and make my presence a blessing to those still here while I can."

Good feelings, there was a lack of that this past month. Who knew what this new world would bring? Probably nothing good. Andrea could use a good day of fun.

"Let's see what else there is to do then, shall we?" Andrea suggested as she wondered what her sisters and Sunset were up to.

"Did you seriously suggest colonization by force for this new universe?!" Sunburst asked in disbelief as he read over the report. "You suggest we do this even if we are successful in our campaign against the Devourers? How could you?!"

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," Sunset said as she sipped her tea. "You make it sound like a bad thing."

"It is a bad thing!" Sunburst protested.

Luna cleared her throat. "Perhaps we should hear my student's explanation for her reasoning?"

"There's no possible good reason for this blatant imperialism, it's evil!" Sunburst asserted, then broke down in a fit of coughs, Starlight quickly moved to his side and held him until the coughs receded. The stallion looked old enough to be her father, perhaps even grandfather.

Sunset set her drink down and looked at the others around the table. Staring back at her were four of the alicorn princesses, Luster Dawn, Sweetie Belle, Rarity, Wild Growth, and Fancy Pants. Starlight Glimmer was focused on her husband. The only alicorn not present was Flurry Heart, who was focused on the faire. Sunset didn't want to be the center of attention. She was here as an advisor, but no one ever seemed to care that it was only advice she was giving. These things weren't her call.

Once his coughing subsided, Sunset took a deep breath and gave her explanation. "Have you considered what is going to happen if we defeat No Heart and the bears surrender?"

"I assume the next step would be to establish diplomatic relations with the now freed human population," Rarity answered. "I'm sure we could negotiate the settling of refugees there. The population should be grateful enough. There's no need for taking land by force."

Sunset shook her head. "I am basing this advice off our current intelligence. What is the status of the humans there according to our current sources?"

Rarity blinked. "Drugged and subjugated. Which is why-"

"How long have they been drugged and subjugated?" Sunset cut in.

Rarity pursed her lips. "I presume for generations, based on-" Her eyes widened in realization. "Oh."

Sunset nodded. "Yeah."

Luster Dawn looked around the table. Everyone else seemed to have figured it out but her. "Um…what am I missing?"

"They might not even know how to take care of themselves," Twilight answered, looking grim. "They might be operating barely above an animal level."

"Even animals know how to tend to their most basic needs. Can we say the same for these humans?" Sunset asked. "Conquering them isn't cruelty, it's kindness. They need to be cared for and educated. If we free them and then leave we are doing a disservice. They'd die in droves."

Luna held her head up proudly and looked at her sister and Twilight. "My student figured this out first."

Celestia raised an eyebrow at Luna. "It isn't a competition, sister."

"My student still realized the problem before Twilight, Starlight, or Luster," Luna said smugly.

"We haven't confirmed that is the case as of yet," Cadence reminded them. "We are currently operating in hearsay and speculation. My team will find out what the facts are. All proposed members have agreed to be come, along with two others not originally selected– both of whom I am uneasy about their coming."

Fancy Pants adjusted his monocle. "I for one do not object to Dame Scootaloo's inclusion in this mission, but that beast…Bursa… seems an unnecessary risk. Might I remind you she injured five portal guards, not three moons before her inclusion was proposed? She's dangerous."

"Injured, not killed," Wild Growth reminded him. "She could have killed them, with ease."

He harrumphed. "You have been silent for much of these exchanges. I have not yet had time to congratulate you on your recent promotion to Secretary of the Interior for your nation."

Wild sighed. "I wish that I wasn't having to devote my time to using my position to hiding launch ports for our space armada. What they are doing to the environment in those areas is-" The earth pony paused and shook her head in bitter defeat. "It is something I have to accept. There won't be any trees to save if the Devourers reach us."

"All is ready then for the fleet?" Celestia asked.

Wild Growth shrugged. "I wish I could give a definitive yes to that question, but I only know about how things are progressing on the US side. The majority of the fleet will be launched from Russia and China, and they aren't always forthcoming about the details. It enrages me that the world might be ending and we're still playing these stupid political games."

Luna grimaced. "Your sentiments are shared. It is sad we must turn to you and my student for details about how things are progressing instead of getting proper reports from the US government, or Russia and China for that matter."

"Politics is like religion. People will die for their politics, even when all signs point to their devotion being only self-destructive," Sunset said.

"An odd observation from a preacher," Twilight observed.

Sunset looked at her. "Try watching everything you ever built up burn in a day, along with your spouse, and knowing your blind faith helped cause it, and tell me if it doesn't change your perspectives. I still have faith, but I also have learned that humans and ponies are fools who do not know the mind of God. That goes doubly for me. Show me a person that says God is speaking to them, and I'll show you someone who unwittingly has the Devil call them a friend. I'm done with thinking I can have divine inspiration. My mistakes are my own. Not something I can blame on God, the Devil, or anyone else. One sin I will not have when I face judgment is trying to pass the blame. Religion and politics are too often an excuse to pass the blame and comfort ourselves that we are somehow divinely chosen for some higher purpose. I'm done with it all. I'm just an old fool trying to help where I can and protect my family. When I face God, I will not try to hide my sins behind such a wall."

They were quiet for a few seconds.

"Triss believes you have a higher purpose," Luna reminded her.

Sunset scowled deeper.

"Then Triss is the biggest fool of them all."