A Shadow of Myself

Andrea didn't know what to expect from her sister's portal. Luster Dawn was passing through it now, and Andrea was going to be the last through…well, she and Charlotte; she was carrying her unconscious sister at the moment, who was sweating profusely– perhaps a side effect of Sunset hijacking her magic.

"Hurry through, Andrea. Maintaining this is not as easy as it looks," Sunset said, sounding like she was straining, something Andrea hadn't witnessed since the days in 1986 when she had first met the unicorn. She could only imagine what this would be doing to Charlotte if she were awake.

"Take care of yourself and your sister!" her dad called out.

She decided to show some bravado and turned and smiled at him while giving him a thumbs up. She then turned back to the swirling grey vortex, took a deep breath, and stepped in.

There was a tingling sensation as she went in; it lasted but a moment. She was briefly disoriented as her vision adjusted to the light… or lack thereover.

It was apparently night here, even if it was only a little past noon when she left. The sky was dark, and everything around her was dim. She saw no stars or moon in the sky, and after a few seconds, she realized heavy black clouds covered the entire sky. The others were all standing close together, surveying the surroundings. Princess Cadence, Sweetie Belle, and Luster Dawn all had their horns lit, projecting light to see by. Sapphire and Scootaloo were both staring up at the sky with frowns on their faces. Apple Bloom was digging a hoof into the ground with an equally deep frown. Bursa was turning from one direction to the next, taking in the surroundings. Josie and Phobia were close together, also frowning as they looked around. Empathy was close to the group's center, looking afraid and trying to be unnoticed.

The portal behind her didn't vanish immediately. It progressively shrank. She watched it as it continued to get smaller until it was gone, then she started looking around as well. There was no sign of plant life, and the terrain seemed to be primarily flat. There were bits of what looked like jagged gravel on the ground but no smooth stones. Everything seemed dry, and the air was hot, despite the heavy clouds.

Josie pointed a hoof out past where the portal had been. "Buildings and other structures in the distance, that direction, a lot of them. I'm guessing a town."

They all turned to look in the distance where the mare was pointing. Andrea squinted. Those shadows could be buildings, she supposed, but it was too dark to tell.

"I don't see any lights. Towns normally have some sign of light, even if they have just fires," Scootaloo said.

"Definitely buildings, wood, and brick, maybe three stories for the taller ones," Phobia said in concurrence with the other nocturnal pony. They could see in the dark, so they saw what was out there better than the rest of them.

"Guessin' y'all will have to lead the way since it's night," Apple Bloom said.

"It's not night," Sapphire and Scootaloo said quickly in unison. They gave each other a look.

Sapphire pointed up with a wing. "There's sun behind those clouds. Those clouds aren't natural; they're smoke from pollution. I don't want to fly too high here. I don't trust the air. Probably best we don't stay outside more than we have to."

"I thought it smelled bad," Luster muttered.

Apple Bloom kicked at the dust. "Soil is bad too. Like all the nutrients have been sucked right out of it. It used to have bugs and grass, I can tell, but nothin' in it anymore. Nothin' at all."

Princess Cadence flared her wings. "We're out in the open and exposed, and the only shelter seems to be that town. We need to scout it first. Josie, this would seem to be the job for you. Can you infiltrate the town undetected?"

Josie nodded. "It's dark enough that I should have no shortage of shadows to meld with. I still have to take my time. I can avoid being seen by eyes when shadowmelded, but electronic devices can still pick me up."

The alicorn nodded as she let her horn's light fade. "Take what time you need. We'll stay here until you return. If you aren't back in three hours, we will assume there's trouble. Sweetie Belle, Luster, douse your light. With how dark it is, that can draw unwanted attention to ourselves."

"I can go too. I'm good at infiltration," Bursa said.

Princess Cadence shook her head. "You don't know who or what to impersonate to not to draw attention yet. You'll get your chance once we know more. Your presence here will be more useful if we need to defend ourselves before Josie returns." She eyed the changeling queen. "But I recommend you take the shape of something smaller for now. Andrea, take off your pack and set your sister down. I need you to shift to pony form. It isn't just your size. Your crystal pony abilities are needed to tell if there is any active magic around us."

Hey, I'm useful for something other than being my sister's bodyguard. Guess I can't complain too much, Andrea thought to herself with amusement. The amusement was short-lived as she remembered shifting to pony form meant her senses were about to be assaulted by the pollution. What the hell happened to this place? This didn't look like the work of a hundred or so fuzzballs.

Charlotte was in easy reach and didn't stir when Andrea grabbed her. Luna said the spell would knock her out for two hours. They spent at least an hour with Sunset trying different locations and Twilight rejecting them. There was never an explanation given about why they were rejected, although one of them Sunset shut down immediately when water came gushing out. Even with the brief second it had been open, it had managed to dump enough water to soak the entire floor. That meant there was water somewhere on this world. She had assumed that before, but looking around now, she might have had doubts.

There wasn't anywhere soft to lay her sister down, so she focused on finding a spot with less gravel. Charlotte still didn't stir as she was set down on the ground. Andrea took her backpack off and then adjusted her earrings.

"Oh, God!" she retched as the smell of the place fully hit her. It was like she was standing in the middle of a burning garbage dump.

"Yeah, smells awful," Apple Bloom agreed grimly. "I ain't sure we'll be able to go a month here. If the whole planet is like this, we ain't goin' to be able to forage any food. We were countin' on foragin' to augment our rations."

Empathy made a bunch of distressed sounds.

"He says he isn't sure we are at the right place. He doesn't believe it is supposed to be like this. It isn't like this in the stories he was told," Phobia informed them.

"His species hasn't been on the surface in generations from my understanding. Things have clearly changed," Cadence said grimly. "Phobia, I need you to be on lookout. Your eyes work better than the rest of ours in this gloom. Andrea, what are you picking up with your crystal pony senses?"

Andrea blinked. "Um, give me a moment. I don't do this much."

She focused. Initially, it was hard to pick out individual sources of magic, but after a few seconds, they started to become more distinct. Princess Cadence stood out the most; the alicorn's power was frighteningly high, and Andrea didn't want to focus on her too much. Sapphire was the next largest source of magic. The power level reminded her a bit of Sunset Blessing, and she was unsure which would have been stronger. Luster Dawn was the next strongest after that, and she was considerably stronger than the three CMC members, who seemed downright average. Bursa and Charlotte were both a little stronger than the CMC, but nothing too spectacular. It was kind of surprising Bursa's magic didn't register as stronger, but it did feel odd– probably because Andrea had never felt changeling magic before. It had a strange 'taste' to it. Phobia had levels somewhere between the CMC and Bursa, nothing amazing. Empathy was weaker than everyone else, but not too much weaker than the CMC.

With the magic immediately around her sorted out, she focused out further. There was another singular source, slowly getting harder to pick up. It was in the direction of the town. She guessed that was Josie, and it was getting harder to feel because the pony was getting further away from them at a fairly rapid pace. In another minute or two she might not even register to Andrea's senses. It was surprising as it was that she could be felt at this distance. Andrea's senses weren't that strong. That indicated Josie had to be fairly powerful.

She continued to feel for a few seconds and then shook her head. "I can feel Josie headed away from us, but I don't feel anything else out there. My range isn't the greatest, and I'm not very practiced at this."

Cadence nodded. "Understood. Still, keep alert for anything that might suddenly appear. Sapphire, I'm not asking you to do so now, but if we needed it, would you be able to get drinkable water out of this air? I can assist if you need another set of wings. I was born a pegasus, but I'm a bit out of practice. Plus, I was raised by earth ponies and they, understandably, never really gave me much weather education."

Sapphire looked up at the sky with a grimace. "I think there's enough moisture up there. It will just take some work with the level of pollution we are looking at. I don't think I could do it without being obvious to anyone miles around us."

"Let's hope we don't need to do so for a while, but it may become necessary," Cadence replied. "Sweetie Belle, you're responsible for maintaining a strict inventory of all our supplies and who has what. Try to make sure all our supplies of a single type aren't with any one creature. If something happens to them or the supplies they are carrying, we don't want to be left wanting."

"What do you want me doing?"Scootaloo asked.

"Your primary job will be providing first aid if needed," Cadence answered. "Always be ready when a scout returns to make sure they are healthy. Apple Bloom, continue to be on the lookout for anything we can forage, but also start a map. Luster Dawn, I want you to maintain a daily mission log."

"And me?" Andrea asked. "I can't stay as a crystal pony if I'm carrying our two nocturnal teammates around in the daytime."

"Hard to say what's day and night here," Luster Dawn remarked.

Cadence didn't reply to Luster's comment, instead focusing on Andrea. "Keep a weapon at the ready. Your primary job is keeping your sister safe, even at the expense of the rest of us. If something happens to her, the entire team is trapped here, and no information reaches home. If a situation comes where you have to choose between who to defend, you defend her. It doesn't matter how dire the situation the other person is in. She comes first."

The princess looked around. "If supplies get too low and we are unable to forage anything, or if anycreature gets severely injured, we can retreat home to resupply and take care of them. We need to try to avoid doing so. Opening portals repeatedly can draw attention to ourselves. We may have already alerted No Heart that something is going on with the number of portals we had to go through to find this location. I doubt he could pinpoint exactly where they opened; I know that's beyond any of the princesses or Triss, but he may well be aware of portals having opened somewhere. He could already be searching for what came through."

"So, we keep on guard and wait for Josie, then go find shelter," Scootaloo summarized.

Cadence nodded. "Once we have somewhere safe to hide, we can let Phobia check the dream realm. We can decide what to do next after she has gained what information she can find there."

"Are you sending her back after she's done her job?" Luster Dawn asked. "No offense to you, former warden, but you don't seem the adventuring type."

Phobia didn't look offended, nor did she take her eyes off the surroundings. "I will be staying till the mission is completed. I'm still your best defense against mind magic. I'm an extra lookout in the dark. I also do have magic of my own that can possibly get the team out of a jam– although it is mind magic, and I won't be using it unless we are in a perilous situation. I still keep the rules as best I can."

They all sat silent after that. Sweetie Belle started inventorying what was in her own saddlebag. Apple Bloom started drawing a map, even if Andrea had no clue what she could be putting on it yet. Luster Dawn started her mission log. Phobia and Bursa kept starting out into the darkness, and most of the rest just sat around looking bored. From what she had heard, this was what most adventures consisted of– long periods of nothing happening punctuated by occasional oh my God, we're going to die moments. You tried to keep that second part from happening too much.

"This isn't what I imagined a care bears' world to be like," Sapphire said as she looked around again.

"Me either, but I'm kind of glad it isn't," Andrea replied.

Sapphire blinked. "Why? Old fantasy not adventurous enough for you?"

Andrea shook her head. "Those bears killed two of my family, including my sister, Kristin, when they attacked the manor. I don't want them to come from a happy place."

"Oh…I was not told that. Sorry for your loss," Sapphire said, sounding like she meant it. "I know most of that household…who else did they get?"

"Méng," Andrea said bitterly.

Sapphire's ears flattened. She then looked at the princess. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You seemed uninterested in knowing about anything that went on with Sunset Blessing," Cadence answered.

"Méng and Kristin aren't her. I had no issues with them," Sapphire half-snapped. "I may not have known Kristin well, but I saw a good bit of Méng when he was growing up. He was a friend. Does Josie know? She used to foalsit him."

"Josie knew before being asked to go on this mission. She always keeps track of foals she helps, even into adulthood," Cadence replied. "I think it might have helped her agree to the mission, even if she wasn't doing The Marshmallow a favor. You know how her tribe gets about vengeance, and since Méng was once a foal she protected… well, it's personal to her."

"Assuming she's vengeful is tribalist," Sapphire muttered. "But probably true in this case. She was the first of her tribe on Earth, so she's as old school as it gets. When we get back, I'll have to pay my respects to Méng's wife and siblings. He was a sweet guy."

"Sunset massacred every bear that invaded the manor after she saw Kristin and Méng dead. I've seen her kill before, but never on that level," Andrea said quietly. "There were more of them than there are us here now, and they were all armed and trigger-happy. They didn't stand a chance once she found them. They are all dead, and I'm still not satisfied."

"That's the problem with hate. It rarely is satisfied. I know it is hard to let go of, but it needs to happen," Cadence said in a sad tone. "Sunset Blessing knows this to be true, yet she can't let go of her own hate, even though she knows it brings nothing but misery to her and those around her. Emotions aren't things we can simply order what to do, but you should still try to move past it. You need only look at her to see what it does to a person."

"Can't you order emotions to do what you want?" Scootaloo asked. "I once heard Twilight tell a story about you bringing love to the surface in ponies."

Cadence grimaced. "That's something that isn't talked about, but since you volunteered the subject I can speak about it. Yes, I have that power, and when I was young, I used it very frequently. When Luna was banished, her attention to such things had been poor, but when she returned and learned about it….she was a little cross, to put it mildly."

"If you pulled that on Earth in the early days, Sha'am would have called a trial immediately and pushed to break your mind," Phobia said. "There would have certainly been a trial, but I doubt Sha'am would have gotten the votes to break your mind."

"Luna seemed angry enough to consider it at the time. She even skipped out on my wedding in order to cool her temper," Cadence said with a long sigh. "She did calm down by the time the wedding was over, and we had a talk. I am mostly banned from using that power."

"Mostly?" Andrea asked.

Cadence nodded. "There are caveats that allow me to still use it. If someone comes to me of their own free will, without prompting, and asks me to use my powers on them, I am allowed. However, I am not allowed to advertise or make widely known that this is even something I can do. Very few know I have that power. I'm only discussing it now because it was asked about. The other case I can use is to defend my life or others around me when other reasonable options are exhausted. I assume that is the same condition Phobia has on using her mind magic."

"It is," Phobia confirmed.

Andrea chuckled. "Sounds like something to use on my family…well, some people in my family."

"It is better without using it," Cadence said slowly. "My magic forces things. I might not have realized it when I was younger, but forcing ponies to focus on an emotion, even their love, isn't healthy for them. It makes them neglect underlying concerns and problems in their relationships. Love can also be twisted into something sinister. In the long run, I'm doing them no favors. I know that now, and am much more cautious of using my power, even if permission has been granted."

"Why are we talking about all this?" Luster asked, looking up from her report. "It has nothing to do with the mission."

"We're passing the time and getting to know one another better with small talk while we await Josie's return. Small talk and camaraderie relieve nervousness, making it easier to face fear," Phobia answered. She gestured at their surroundings. "And if you aren't at least a little nervous, you're a fool."

"Maybe we can talk about something else, something more cheerful," Sapphire suggested. "How about we talk about our hobbies or interests."

"The three of us teach at the School of Friendship!" Apple Bloom announced excitedly. Andrea already knew this, but it might be news to the others. "Ay teach chemistry, honesty lessons, alchemy, herbology, and magical theory!"

Bursa turned around and looked at her. "You teach magical theory, not the unicorn?"

"I teach it too," Sweetie Belle replied. "I also teach the choral music class, am vice headmare-"

"How does an earth pony teach magical theory?" Bursa asked, ignoring Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom seemed to realize where this was going and raised her head high. "Ya don't need a horn to understand the fundamentals. And ay
do spells too, through alchemy."

"I teach math, history, kindness lessons, and oversee the athletic programs," Scootaloo chirped in happily.

Sweetie Belle giggled. "Scoots volunteered to do the math and history courses because there weren't any available professors for it at the time and shocked everycreature by being really good at both."

"Hey! My aunts made sure I studied all the time when I was a filly. I always had among the best grades in class!" Scootaloo objected bashfully.

Bursa didn't seem to care about the academic achievements of the ground-bound pegasus. "I still can't believe an earth pony teaches magical theory at a fancy school."

"Believe it," Apple Bloom said firmly. "Ay almost got elected vice headmare."

"That competition was fierce. I'm glad it's over," Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom pouted. "Ay lost because ay was takin' care of too many classes to take on the extra responsibility. That's fair. Ya got to know when ya stretching yourself too thin. Granny always said that if ya overwork yourself in the fields ya ain't goin' to be any good at raisin' up a barn. Sweetie Belle had a lighter load; she can devote herself more to it without sacrificin' how well she does in other stuff."

Andrea's ear twitched as she heard stirring next to her. She looked over and saw Charlotte was waking up. Empathy had at some point gone over and cuddled next to her when no one was watching. That embarrassed Andrea a bit. She was supposed to be watching her sister. What if that had been some poisonous animal or something instead of him?

"Well, looks like Charlotte is getting up," Andrea announced. "We can give her the rundown of what's going on and what everyone's jobs are. What should she be doing?"

"Not dying," Cadence said. "She's our lifeline. She keeps back and never puts herself in danger. She also makes the call if we need to do a full retreat from this world. Keep her safe."

Andrea nodded grimly. No more letting herself get completely distracted like that. Charlotte was depending on her.