A Shadow of Myself

News from Earth could be slow getting to Equestria. Actually, no, it made it to Equestria fast enough, but Equestrians took their sweet time communicating the news to Sunset Blessing. If it didn't involve a monster attacking Canterlot, Equestrians couldn't be bothered to care. There were still areas that didn't know there were any princesses but Celestia. Some incident at Wabash Manor didn't register as a blip in pony gossip here, but she would undoubtedly hear all about how the lady so-and-so committed a major social faux pas by having slightly wilted lettuce at her most recent brunch party. Idiot Equestrians. Why did she come here to suffer these fools?

Safety for her and her family. She could endure the Equestrians for that.

"Is there anything I can get you, Princess Luna? Tea? Cake?" Decorum practically groveled. If Sunset weren't anxious due to the news, she would find it annoying.

Luna gave the vice headmare mare a weary look. "I think you are too used to my sister's preferences. Do you have any fruit, Mysticorum?"

Decorum blushed. "Mystic Decorum or Miss Decorum, majesty. I'll go find you that fruit, princess."

Sunset impatiently rapped her fingers on the desk as she watched her vice headmare exit the office. Such groveling to royalty was cringe-worthy. Luna was Sunset's teacher and benefactor, and no one saw her doing that.

"My student, I wish to know why you maintain that form after Queen Chrysalis's incarceration?" Luna asked.

Sunset sighed. "It allows me to see the students' spellwork in detail. It is more helpful for everyone if I can see what went wrong with a student's spell than simply being present for a failed spell and telling them to try again with as much clue as the student as to why they failed to cast it. I could cast a spell to do the same as a unicorn, but that's tedious. It also reinforces the idea that non-unicorns can be knowledgeable about magic." She paused briefly before continuing. "I've also grown over the years to be uncomfortable going out in public in my natural form. This may not be Earth, but old habits die hard. However, this isn't what you are here to talk about."

"Not completely," Luna admitted. "I do have an interest in how you're doing and seeing you as a human raised some questions. May I request that you try to make one daily journey out to shop or dine in town in your proper form? Perhaps that can ease your anxieties."

"If that's what you want me to do. I'm assuming you still want written weekly reports," Sunset grumbled.

Luna shook her head. "It may have been needed while you were on Earth, but here I think I can take the time to visit you at least once a week to discuss your progress. Sister may like to keep records of everything on paper, but I'm a Dreamwarden. I keep memories of meetings in the dream realm." She opened her mouth and faked retching. "Plus, I have an aversion to paperwork in general. How my sister tolerates having to read so many reports when somepony can just tell her these things is beyond me."

"We don't all have special cloud saves for all our conversations, Luna," Sunset reminded her.

Luna raised an eyebrow at her. "What do clouds have to do with it?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "I'll explain it to you later. What was this about a dragon attacking Wabash Manor?"

Luna grimaced. "One thing I envy Sister and Twilight for is their students show more respect, but I suppose I have delayed telling you about the incident. It wasn't a dragon, it was Bursa, and she had your alternate version with her, and it did not appear to be your younger self's choice. Charlotte Portsmith inflicted serious injury to Bursa by opening up a portal in a way that severed one of the changeling's limbs but was knocked into the portal in the ensuing confusion. Your ex-husband's daughter was able to capture Bursa, but we do not know Charlotte Portsmith's whereabouts. We have gathered some intelligence about the scout team and the mission's progress from Bursa, but she seems to have been separated from the group for a short period and is missing some details."

Sunset grit her teeth and felt her blood boiling. Bursa dared to assault a member of Sunset's family? Why had they even taken her along on the trip? That bug was not to be trusted. She was unpredictable, irrational, and known to desperately desire to get to Earth to find the mysteries of her past as if that would give her peace.

She suddenly felt Luna's magic grip her tightly.

"What?!" Sunset hissed as she struggled against it.

"Calm yourself," Luna ordered, not raising her voice. "Forgive me for the rough grip, but I saw signs you were about to go into one of your rages and didn't want you to damage your office. I'm not sure how much damage you can do in human form, but I don't underestimate you as others do. When you have control of your temper, I will release you. If you wish to yell, feel free to do so, I have suffered much worse than your screaming. Perhaps yelling could be therapeutic."

"I'll go back home and murder that bug!" Sunset growled.

"You'll do no such thing," Luna said calmly. "While I know you have a policy of executing those who harm you or those you care about, it is even more unproductive than normal in this case. You know as well as I that Bursa held no malice towards Charlotte Portsmith. Your younger self was the means to an end to a poorly thought-out plan. Further, your granddaughter is taking custody of Bursa, and we have assured Bursa of her safety."

Sunset blinked. "Which granddaughter? Most of my granddaughters lack any resources to contain Bursa, except for Arachne, and I know no one would be stupid enough to give Bursa to her. Certainly not Jordan. I specifically warned Jordan about Arachne."

"It was The Marshmallow's idea. Jordan was at a loss at what to do with Bursa and called on her old friend's aid," Luna explained.

Sunset tried to shake her head in disbelief but was still being held immobile. "You're letting that fool of a pegasus make the decision? No wonder something stupid is happening. Well, Arachne will probably dissect Bursa, and I'm perfectly okay with that."

Luna shook her head. "That should not happen. The Marshmallow assured us that she is going to have Phobia's heir go stress that Bursa is not to be harmed. Your daughter's heir was partially chosen because the Dreamwardens lacked an intimidating member with her gone. Bursa has already agreed to a Dreamwarden contract that will keep her from causing further mischief."

"Phobia wasn't that intimidating, and my granddaughter isn't easily intimidated," Sunset said dismissively. "Arachne would have caved to her mother's orders, but good luck getting her to listen to any other warden– not unless you brought Sha'am Maut herself back from the dead. Still, I'm perfectly fine with Arachne not listening this time. Bursa attacked Charlotte and, I assume, left Phobia and Andrea stranded in another universe, along with Josie, Sapphire, Luster, and the rest. She deserves to suffer. Why was she even included on the mission? I knew I should have been more vocal in my objections."

Luna smirked. "There was actually strong opposition from international leaders to the Dreamwardens selecting this individual to be their newest member, including Equestria, due to how disturbing the individual is. It took extensive interviews to convince us that the wardens weren't putting someone far worse than Sha'am Maut in a position of power. Some are still not convinced." Her smirk dropped. "I'm still not entirely convinced. He seems harmless enough, but I can't help having misgivings. His magic is inherently dark, a type that would be forbidden in Equestria, and it troubles me. When he retires, he may have to go beyond Equestria's borders, perhaps to the griffins, if they will tolerate one such as him."

Sunset snorted. "We have a gender, a him, for this new Dreamwarden who is supposedly going to intimidate my granddaughter–an action I have mixed feelings about…I did wipe her bottom when she was a baby. She was such an adorable foal. Maybe a bit of a brat, but nothing to indicate what she would become. Is it wrong that I still just hope she's going through a phase she'll outgrow, despite the fact she is in her thirties and very settled into her identity?"

Luna gave her a sad smile. "It is never wrong to hope for another's reformation, especially family. My sister waited a thousand years for mine, and she never lost hope. I'm confident Phobia was as pleased with yours, despite the minor regressions afterward. I'm sure she hopes just as much for her daughter."

"Anyway, can you release me now?" Sunset asked tiredly. "I'm not going to rage."

The pressure around her vanished, and she took a deep breath. "Now, why was that bug included on the mission?"

The alicorn turned away. "Star Singer told us that if she was not brought along, Equestria and the rest of this world might perish."

"Might?" Sunset asked skeptically. "Did she give any further details than that?"

"She refused to speak about it. She was very shaken. We did not press her," Luna answered.

"I'm surprised that damn mare is still around or that you gave her the time of day after her visions inspired Sunset Shimmer to take the actions she did," Sunset muttered.

Luna turned around. "Her visions were also the first to alert us of the Devourers and led us to meeting Triss. She is not to be dismissed."

The door opened, and Miss Decorum came in, pushing a fruit-laden cart with her magic. "I have plenty of fruit, highness! I wasn't sure what you prefer, so I grabbed a bit of everything."

The alicorn floated an orange over to her mouth and took a bite out of it. "Very good," she mumbled around her food.

Decorum gave Luna a flabbergasted look. "Princess, wouldn't it be better to take the rind off first?"

Luna raised an eyebrow at her. "Whatever for? It's the best part. Not to mention it's just wasteful." She then quickly finished the remainder of the orange and moved on to a banana, not bothering to peel it. She even started with the stem.

"Don't gawk, Decorum. Alicorns have insane appetites. Luna has her fruit, Celestia has cakes, Cadence pudding, and Twilight Sparkle has been banned from most fast food establishments due to her obsession with hayburgers. They could all eat The Marshmallow under the floor. I haven't heard about what Flurry Heart pigs out on, but I'm sure there's something," Sunset said tiredly.

"Potatoes," Luna answered as she moved onto a pineapple. "Flurry had a brief period where she tried to join the army. Her commanding officer thought he needed to show that her title and the fact she's an alicorn meant nothing when she was outranked, and he sent her to peel potatoes. She ended up eating every single one. There had been hundreds. It got her kicked out of the army before she completed basic training. She'll eat any potato, prepared any way– mashed, smashed, grilled, baked, stewed, raw. She'll dig them straight out of the ground and eat them fresh."

Sunset gestured a hand at Luna. "See, they get downright insane about certain foods, specific to the alicorn. They don't gain weight or suffer indigestion from it like they are bottomless pits. I used to think they just needed lots of calories, but it turns out they don't. It's just feeding a bottomless appetite like a corrupted changeling can never have enough love. It is inherent to the tribe and a serious liability that I'm surprised no one has exploited. If I were out to kill an alicorn, I'd exploit it."

Luna slowly set her half-eaten pineapple down. "It seems you have found something that ruins my appetite. I trust that you will be locking yourself in with your notes about Charlotte Portsmith's magic so we can try to replicate it. I will need copies of your notes to pass on to Twilight, Starlight Glimmer, and Sunburst so they, too, can try to figure out how to replicate her magic to reach our friends. This should not be any single pony's burden. I will make sure to share their work with you in return. I know your greatest strength is through utilizing others' work. We shall figure this out and get everyone home safely."

Sunset sighed and leaned back into her chair, grateful that previous headmares and headstallions had been so full of themselves that they made the chair far too large for a pony in an effort to imitate an imposing throne. It ended up only slightly oversized for her human form and gave her plenty of back support.

"I hope so. The universe is unkind and uncaring, and I can only imagine foreign ones are even more so. I want to see the reports about what Bursa saw in that other universe. Just to know how crappy a situation they are in," Sunset said, suddenly weary.

Six of her family members, one her only blood offspring, were trapped with no way to get home. It was probably wrong to categorize who she was most fretful for, but she still did. While she had many foals and loved them all dearly, Phobia was still the only one she gave birth to. A mother should never outlive her offspring. The pain of Méng still cut at her and made her cry herself to sleep each night. She was unsure if she could carry on if Phobia were lost. Behind her in importance were Charlotte and Andrea. Their sister had been a devastating blow, especially right after losing her Andrea. Beyond them, Josie and Sapphire. Those two may have turned their backs on her, but once she opened her heart to someone, she couldn't withdraw it. It just wasn't in her to do so, no matter how their scorn hurt. Following them would be Luster Dawn. She was not on the same level as Josie and Sapphire, but Sunset knew her well enough that she mattered. The others on the mission would hurt to be lost, but it was a duller pain. She did not know those others as well. It was like being sad about the loss of soldiers fighting foreign wars. You felt bad about it, but it was impersonal.

Miss Decorum raised a hoof. "Um, headmare, I seem to have missed many important details of this conversation and am unsure what is being discussed, but I wish to challenge your proposition that the universe is unkind and uncaring."

Sunset raised an eyebrow at the vice headmare and wished she was currently in her pony form just so her scars could be on display. "Tell me, Decorum, what can you and your pampered sheltered life say to disabuse me of that?"

Decorum looked uncertainly at Luna as if wanting the alicorn to answer for her, but Luna simply waited expectantly for Decorum to explain. Decorum turned back towards Sunset and raised her head high and proud.

"We are part of the universe, are we not? And do we not care? Therefore, it is incorrect to say the universe does not care."

Sunset sat silent for a few seconds, then stood, deciding not to acknowledge the counterargument. "I will be occupied and away for the next several days; I'm unsure how long. Decorum, in my absence, you're to act in my sted here. You're to keep to my initiatives. When I return, I will review how the school conducted itself under your supervision, and we will discuss it in depth. Do not make it so it needs to be a tense discussion. Do I make myself clear?"

Decorum bowed her head. "Yes, Headmare Blessing. I shall go inform the staff. Good luck with your efforts. May Harmony be with you."

They watched Decorum exit, and once the door was closed, Luna let out a long breath. "My student, you have grown much since we first met. I saw your potential for greatness then, and I still see it. Few can match your potential, but you still have more growing to do if you ever are to truly reach it."

"You mistake me, Luna. I don't desire to be great. I just want my loved ones safe," Sunset said as she gathered her things. "I haven't figured out how to replicate my other self's magic yet, but I will find a way, and I'll bring them all home."

And if she failed, she'd find Bursa and end her for what she had done.