A Shadow of Myself

"Maybe you should pack something a little sexier," Amicus said as Charlotte put another shirt in her pack.

"She doesn't need to be sexy!" her mom fussed. "What are you thinking? She's trying to rescue her sister, not start a relationship."

Charlotte closed her eyes. She loved her family. She loved her family. She was not going to snap angrily at her family. She loved her family.

Her dad scratched his head. "I'm having a hard time imagining my baby girl being sexy."

"Fathers shouldn't think that about their daughters; it's all kinds of red flags, but thanks for calling me ugly, Dad," Charlotte replied as she shoved a pair of pants hard into her bag.

She didn't own anything that qualified as sexy anyway. Nor did she have a clue how to apply makeup. While she didn't think she was ugly, she knew she didn't have any particularly attractive features. Her pony form when she was wearing Sunset's necklace– a young, unscarred version of Sunset's body– was beautiful by pony standards, but that form wouldn't appeal to Rainbow. There was no way she could pull off sexy. There was no point in trying to. Even entertaining the idea just made her seem an immature child for Sunset and Starlight to laugh at.

"I'm just saying it is hard to think of my baby girl as a young woman," her dad said. "I don't have children; I have two capable young women, two grizzled old ponies…and two that I outlived. I'm just feeling…I don't know."

"Well, that got morbid," Amicus said quietly, then shook her head. "I guess I'm morbid too. I see this young version of my sister who still has her whole life ahead of her–a version of my sister who truly has a clean slate without all the sad history. I just want to see her live the life I wish Sunset had, a happy one. Sunset, for all her love of family, pushes people away and rarely lets anyone past the thorny exterior. Do you want that for Charlotte? So, yeah, I want to see her get into a relationship, and if making a little extra effort to make herself alluring helps with that, I'm all for it."

Charlotte yanked the zipper closed. "Sunset's right. Mom's right. This isn't some romantic outing, and it's only a dumb infatuation. I need to keep focused on getting Andrea back. I'm not losing her too."

"It's nice to get some credit for being right, even if I'm still playing second fiddle to Sunset Blessing," her mom said. "Did you get a gun? I don't like you going there unarmed."

Charlotte shook her head. "That isn't something Equestrians have readily available. It wouldn't help versus Decepticons anyway. Don't worry. Flurry Heart gave me something."

Her mom frowned. "What did the princess give you?"

Charlotte reached into the side pocket of her bag, pulling out a bracelet, unlike the charms on her wrist. This one looked like it was made of gold and had a large emerald embedded in it, flanked by two small diamonds. "This. It's an upgraded version of Sunset's necklace. They've had plenty of time to study and improve her work. It's kind of like Andrea's earrings in that it doesn't have a time limit. This one also lets me put it on with clothes on and hides them away somewhere, my bag too. They come back when I take it off. It clasps to my arm and adjusts itself when I change, so it doesn't pinch my leg or be too loose and fall off."

"That might help keep you alive, but it still isn't a weapon," her mom said. "You should have a weapon."

She put the bracelet back in her bag. "When I'm transformed, my horn will be my weapon. Sunset said she would show me some basic battle spells that even a novice like me could pull off, her old spell lineup for fighting before she got super powerful. It still probably won't be much use against a Decepticon, but that should be at least as helpful as a gun versus anything else."

And being a pony would stifle her sexual attraction to Rainbow, which would be one less distraction. When Rainbow saw her as a pony, she'd probably lose interest as well, especially when she saw a younger mirror of Sunset Blessing. Of course, Starlight might develop the hots for her; he'd been caught looking at most of the mares in the castle. It made sense for them when you thought about it coldly and logically. It was a basic need that hadn't been met…well…ever. At least, she hoped it hadn't been met. Best not to consider if they had tried. Them having attempted to meet that need was an image she didn't want to picture. Anyway, he clearly was as eager for that kind of company as Rainbow after so long being isolated, but that attraction would not be mutual. It would be an annoyance but not a distraction.

She grimaced. She was thinking like Sunset, and she didn't like it, but when Sunset was right, she was right.

Amicus snorted. "Hopefully, you're stronger than Sunset was before she gained all that power. She'd make threats all the time, but her attacks were ineffective until she learned that sabotage technique, and I doubt you could pull that off since almost every unicorn I've ever talked to about it says it should be impossible."

"Who did you talk to about it?" Charlotte asked, legitimately curious.

"Jordan, Starlight Glimmer, Luster Dawn, Trixie, and Shǔguāng," Amicus answered. "Jordan's the odd one out of the batch, but all of the rest of them are accomplished mages who can pull off challenging and advanced feats of magic, and Jordan was trained at a young age about how to defend herself with magic. They said the only way they could pull that off was in a controlled setting, not a fight. It requires too much precision at too fast a speed to be used in a fight, and they honestly have no idea how Sunset has pulled it off in situations where she is pissing herself. That leaves you with some weak blasts and her fire orbs. She used to have to exhaust herself for a decent horn blast, and those orbs are about as effective as cigarette lighters as weapons."

Amicus's little speech suddenly reminded Charlotte that she hadn't pissed herself when Bursa kidnapped her or during the fight after. Like Sunset, that was Charlotte's typical response to being in life-threatening danger. Despite how annoying her family was being, realizing she had kept control of her bladder through that experience made her smile. It was a little thing, but it was a victory of sorts. Sunset would have been dripping with urine in the same situation.

Charlotte picked up her pack and put it on her back. "Well, those spells are still better than nothing, which is what I had last time and still survived. I'll be with Sunset anyway, and Rainbow is super strong now. I'll be okay."

"Don't forget her horse," Amicus said as her tail raised. "He's a big strong one. Yeah, the face is a bit hideous, and he's put together like some misshapen horror, but those flanks–ohhhhh, those flanks! If I were fifty years younger-"

Charlotte threw up her hands in exasperation. "You are sooo Sunset's sister! You're both widows, for God's sake!"

Amicus smirked. "I will always love Brief, but I'm a free agent now. Do you think Sunset knows a youth spell?"

Her dad chuckled. "I suppose Charlotte being all grown up is easier to accept than my other daughter, who is twice my age, wants a horse to ride her, and she might be the most normal of my daughters."

Charlotte stormed off towards the door. "Yeah, all the normal ones are dead. Sorry, you got stuck with the weirdos!"

She whipped open the door only to find Sunset standing there, looking cross.

Sunset pointed a hoof into the room."You despicable, wretched girl! You will turn around and apologize to your family now!"

"Me? What did I do?" Amicus shouted.

Sunset lowered her leg and rolled her eyes. "Not you, Ami. Why would you think I was talking to you?"

"You were pointing right at me," Amicus answered.

"I was pointing in the room's general direction. I'm sorry I wasn't clear," Sunset sighed, then looked up at Charlotte. "I was talking to this ungrateful brat. The one who is about to go off into a dangerous situation there is a chance she might not come back from, and she decides she is going to have what could be the last moments with her family by her taking an innocent remark out of context, responding in a hurtful way, and storming off. Fool girl! Do you want that to be your last moments with your loved ones? What was the last thing you said to Kristin?"

Charlotte had been getting more furious with each word from her other self until that last sentence. That last sentence hit her like a slap in the face, one that knocked the stupid out of her.

She hung her head. "I don't even remember. I might have snapped at her; I don't know."

Sunset looked down. "The last thing I said to Mèng was complimenting him on being such a good father, how proud of him I was, and how much I loved him. I'm glad because the last thing I said to Tonya was, fuck the world if you aren't in it while pleading with her not to sacrifice herself. While I think I conveyed that I love her, if I had it to do over again, my last moments with her before she died would have been telling her how proud I was of her. Always treat each time you leave your loved ones like it might be your last time seeing them because, at some point, it will be."

Charlotte bit her lip and took a deep breath before turning back towards her dad. "Sorry, Dad. That was way out of line. I promise I'm coming home with Andrea, but if we get delayed or something, and you think the worst has happened, I want you, all of you, to know I love you, and you're the best parents and alternate sister I could wish for. I know I've got an attitude problem. I get it from Sunset, not you, I promise."

"I'll let that pass," Sunset muttered.

Amicus cleared her throat. "I've come to accept my younger sister…um…both versions…are never going to be nice and polite. I don't know where they get it. However, Sunset's real defining trait, other than being a general bitch, being full of herself, thinking everyone is morally bankrupt, talking down to people,-"

"Love you too, sis," Sunset grumbled.

"-is that she cares deeply about her family," Amicus concluded. "It's the one thing that keeps Sunset on the side of the good because we can all admit it; she's a natural villain. She knows her actions have consequences, and those consequences impact the ones she loves, no matter how hard she tries to shield them from her plots. Charlotte is no villain, but I have faith she shares that love for family."

"Ami, remind me never to put you in charge of my PR," Sunset said with a snort.

Amicus chuckled. "I fought your legal battles for you for years. I think that's more important than public relations. I meant what I said, including what I know grounds you. That's part of why I've been willing to stand up for you in court. At the end of the day, you will do the right thing because you care about how your actions impact us. You don't always get it right, but it matters that you care, and my showing I care about you is just as important. Andrea felt the same way. I wouldn't be surprised if your sons and daughters do too. You protect us, and we protect you from your worst inclinations because family takes care of one another."

Charlotte licked her lips. "Even when talking about me, it somehow gets turned into talking about her. Mom, Dad, Amicus, I love all of you, and I'm glad for my family, but I'm so sick of being compared with Sunset Blessing. Lántiān told me that Arachne was envious of all the famous people in the family and wants to carve her own legacy. I have to say; I empathize with that. None of you can possibly understand what it's like to have everything you do compared to someone who sets some impossible standard to live up to. I want Sunset to be Sunset, and me to be me, and for people to stop comparing us. Please, just stop. If I die, I don't want to be remembered as the lesser version of Sunset Blessing."

She turned and walked out of the room, practically shoving past Sunset in the doorway.

"Charlotte!" Sunset called out to her.

She continued walking. "I don't want to talk right now."

Magic gripped her, halting her in her tracks.

"I've just got one question to ask, and I'll let you go. I don't want an answer. It is just something for you to think about," Sunset said in a subdued voice.

Charlotte grit her teeth briefly before responding. "What question?"

"If there's a lesser version between us, as you put it, who ever said you were the one who was the lesser version?" Sunset asked. She then released Charlotte.

Charlotte turned and looked back at the unicorn briefly. Sunset was just standing there, watching her with a poker face. Who did she think she was asking that kind of question? Years and years of living in Sunset's shadow, feeling small and weak, with the unicorn seemingly never satisfied with anything she did, and Sunset dared ask her that? How dare she!

She balled her hands into fists. "After we get Andrea and the rest back safely, I want us to be done. I want to live my own life, away from you."

Sunset's poker face cracked for a second, but it was back in place before she could tell what the crack might reveal. "If that's what you wish. You are still restricted from returning to Earth until the matter there is settled, maybe even after."

"I'm sure there's plenty of places in Equestria to go that aren't around you," Charlotte snapped back.

Sunset nodded. "There are. I wish you well in that…and I'm sorry that I've made you feel this way,"

She had no response for that, so she turned and walked away. They were going to be leaving soon, but at least she could get a few minutes away from her other self before she got stuck in another universe with her.