A Shadow of Myself

Jordan watched her big sister walk into the kitchen and sit across from her. Jackie eyed the half-filled bottle of brandy on the table and glanced at Jessie, who had her head thrown back as she sat in her chair, snoring. Jackie then shook her head.

"Mom's asleep, at last. Thank goodness," Jackie breathed. "I kinda want to get drunk and pass out, too, but I know as soon as I do, Mom will wake up, and then I won't be sober enough to deal with her."

"Thanks for giving us one more night of peace," Jordan said softly. "Being out here will be good for her. She won't constantly see things to remind her about Dad, fewer things to set her off."

Blue snuggled against her. "Well, one of the other benefits of being here is that all these guards can keep an eye on her. She can't wander off and dig up anyone's flower beds looking for your father."

She gave her husband a dirty look. "She only did that once."

"Yeah, but I still hear Miss Thornberry yelling at me about her tulips whenever I shut my eyes," Blue replied.

"Hmmm, I'll have to remember that next time you mount me. I now know I'm competing with Miss Thornberry," Jordan said.

"Well, only briefly hear her yelling, but you quickly drown her out," Blue said and kissed her on the side of the face.

She giggled. "Good colt."

"You two are shameless," Charlotte said from the corner where she was still using her wings to flip through security files and footage on a tablet.

Jackie grabbed some crackers and started nibbling at them. "I might be a bad daughter for saying this, but I'm glad you are taking her. Now, I don't have to deal with her. I feel like crying every time I'm near her now. It hurts too much talking to her, trying to reason with her, and knowing that senile people can't be reasoned with. Then, every once and a while, she seems like all the fog has cleared away, and she's lucid, and that hurts more because I know it won't last, and it reminds me more about what's lost."

Jordan sighed. She then lit her horn and poured herself a glass of brandy, then took a small sip, just a small one.

"I wonder if there's anything in Sunset Blessing's library that can help," she said as she levitated her glass back down to the table.

Charlotte looked up from the tablet. "You can't seriously be thinking about digging through Grandma's research for a solution. That stuff's dangerous, and I doubt there's anything to help anyway. If Grandma could cure diseases of the mind, she'd have cured her own."

Jordan levitated up her glass and took another small sip before setting it back down. "I know. I'm just musing. I'm sitting on the biggest trove of magical knowledge on Earth. It makes me want to believe in miracles." She sighed and smiled. "You know, this is the first time we've all been together without a crisis since my eighteenth birthday. We're just missing Arachne, Moon, and Robby to get the whole gang together."

"Robby would be nice, maybe my bro, but my sister can stay far away," Charlotte said as she set the tablet down and left her stool.

"Harsh thing to say about your twin," Blue said as Charlotte climbed onto the bench beside Jackie.

"She's my twin, and I'll always love her. You have no idea how big a bond there is between twins," Charlotte said as she poured herself a glass. "Did you know twins are even closer with ponies than humans? We're bound by magic. I got hurt back when I was in boot camp. It was fairly serious and all my fault because I was showing off. I was better than those other recruits, but even I had limits. She knew immediately that it happened, not because anyone told her, but because of our bond. She was practically beating down the fort's gates to get to me after that. Tempest and Crystal had to literally haul her away together. She's tough, but not tough enough to take them both on at once by herself; at least she wasn't back then."

"Arachne trying to break into a military base because she was worried about you? I never knew that happened," Jackie said.

Charlotte nodded. "The bond between twins is strong. We snap and snarl at one another every chance we can get these days, but if she were badly hurt, I would know, and I'd be rushing to be by her side. I just don't like her. She's a power-hungry bitch with no moral compass who doesn't care who she hurts on her rise to the top."

Jessie sat up with a groan. "Ow, my head. Why didn't you stop me from drinking half the bottle?"

"You seemed determined. I'm surprised you only drank half," Jordan replied.

Jessie held her head. "Why couldn't I have inherited an earth pony constitution?"

"Get some water and eat some crackers. You'll be feeling better in no time," Blue instructed. He then lit his horn and levitated a glass over to the sink, turned the tap on, and filled it. He then levitated the glass over to the table and put it in front of Jessie. The partial woman broke up some crackers and stuffed them in her mouth before taking a sip.

"Speaking of all that knowledge you are sitting on top of," Jessie said slowly. "I wanted to know if you might consider checking on something as a favor to me."

Jordan raised an eyebrow. "What do you want with spells? I know Sunset Blessing had some spells designed for magic objects, but those materials are extremely cost-prohibitive."

Jessie rubbed her head and looked pleadingly at Jordan. "Rehumanization spell, for my son, not me. He's getting older and getting to the point where he can make those kinds of choices. I wanted to start looking into it, and I'd rather have a friend do it than have total strangers work on him. It's also safer; with Sunset's laboratory helping you, you can't make any mistakes.

"Has he expressed that human is the way he wants to go?" Jackie asked. "He could still want to go pony. Don't tell me you've been so long without your hooves that you are pushing him to be human."

"And it's technically Jordan's workshop now, isn't it?" Charlotte asked. "Maybe it needs some grand and impressive name to inspire awe, like Charlotte's Sphere."

"Charlotte's Sphere?" Blue asked with a raised eyebrow. "You admit it's now my wife's workshop, and you want to name it after yourself?"

Charlotte raised her muzzle high. "Just spitballing ideas. I mean, Grandma's original name was Charlotte, and there are several notable Charlottes in the family, heh."

"And here I thought you were the twin without the vanity," Jackie chuckled.

Charlotte sniffed. "I humbly say I'm the better twin."

"We're not calling it that," Jordan said flatly.

Jessie drank some more water. "Anyway, I'm not pushing anything. If he chooses to be a pony, I will give him just as much support and with just as much enthusiasm. Technically, I would be giving him more support because then I have to make arrangements to go to Equestria, which you can't do quickly unless you're super rich. I'm well-off, but not that well-off, and I don't want to go begging Wild Growth for a favor that involves tons of cash. I want either option to happen as quickly as possible when he makes a choice, and having it done here is the quickest option for the human option."

"What's the rush?" Charlotte asked. "You might not be pushing him to be human, but it sounds like you're about to start pressuring him into making a choice. "

Jessie sat for a few seconds, then shook her head. "You never know what tomorrow will bring. We could all be gone before you know it, and I want him to have at least a little time promised without any discomfort."

They all looked at one another before looking back at Jessie.

Charlotte was the one who said what they were all thinking. "Jessie, we've all been friends since we were small foals. We went through the Cataclysm together. We know you've been working for my mother and the other Dreamwardens for almost as long, and we don't buy for a second that you really quit. We're your best friends; level with us. How soon are the Devourers getting here?"

Jessie shook her head. "I don-"

Charlotte hit her hoof against the tabletop. "We might not be geniuses like you, but don't you look down on us and treat us like we're idiots. We've known you for years; we've all guessed what you've been working on. When you worry about the future, you only worry about one thing. We know how to keep a secret, so tell us."

Jessie stared upward. "My head hurts, and I'm not confident the alcohol is to blame." She lowered her gaze and looked at Charlotte. "I did quit, so my information is outdated, but we don't have much time, less than a year. Some defenses have been prepared. The fleet should have already been launched."

"And what are our chances of surviving?" Jordan asked, feeling a tightness in her chest.

Jessie gulped. "My information is out of date. I'm missing a lot of data. I can't give a proper estimate."

"Give us a vague guess based on your out-of-date information," Charlotte said in a near growl.

"Charlotte, Jessie's our friend. Stop treating her this way," Jackie scolded.

Blue looked around worriedly. "Am I the only one totally confused about what's happening here? Jordan, can you explain this? I don't understand."

Jordan glanced at her husband and then back at her best friend. "I'll explain in a moment, but first, Jessie, please, give us an estimate. Are we going to survive this?"

Jessie looked at her hopelessly. "Based on my old information, which I must again clarify is out of date, I'd put it in the forty to forty-five percent chance of Earth surviving and a ninety-two to ninety-seven percent chance Equestria survives."

"That's a majority chance we die!" Charlotte yelled.

Jessie gave her a stern look. "It's a better chance than any world has ever had. Even if we win, a great many will die. Their sacrifice is…logical, but…I couldn't be a part of it. I can't knowingly tell people to die, no matter how many they may save. That's why I quit."

"How? How will they die?" Jackie asked. "Who will die?"

Jessie grabbed the bottle and took a chug straight from it before putting it down, empty. "Sunset Blessing designed part of the defense where at least half of those who will die will participate. I'm sure it is buried in her records somewhere. Jordan can find it." She stood up shakily. "But I'm going to go home now. I swore I would never tell the details, and I won't. Find them yourselves."

Jordan hopped to her hooves and lit her horn, grabbing Jessie and restraining her. "You aren't going anywhere in your condition except to bed. I'm not having you drive out of here drunk and die in some car crash. At least I understand what the hell's been going on with you lately."

Charlotte growled and settled down."She's Dreamwarden contract sealed. We aren't getting any more out of her. It is a wonder we got that much. She had to exploit every loophole just to tell us that much. Yeah, get her to bed. I can find her son in a bit and tell him he's having a sleepover."

"Jordan, I know the extended family on your side is…unusual. You warned me of that before we got married. I got a big lesson in that when we got this place, but what is going on?" Blue asked, practically shaking.

Jordan looked at him and sighed. "The Devourers aren't some old pony's tale. They're real, and they are coming, apparently within the next year. We realized Jessie was figuring out where they were a long time ago. The Dreamwardens ran her ragged doing math for them for years. Beyond that, you now know as much as the rest of us."

"For now," Jackie cut in. "Sis, like it or not, you're the Mistress of Wabash Manor, the biggest collection of magical secrets in the world, possibly anywhere. Jessie thinks the truth about everything is in the records here. You're the only pony with access to those records. She said people were going to die, even if we win. You have to find out what's going on."

Jordan stared at the table. "What will it do for us to know? I'm sure if there was a better way, they'd be doing it."

Jackie stood on the table and stared down at her, wings outspread. "Except for Charlotte, we all have foals. You heard Jessie; she's pushing her kid to choose because she's afraid that he's going to die a partial without getting to experience a life where he isn't hunched over so he barely walk or going around in a wheelchair. Jessie would never push her kid about that if he weren't ready, and she'd never get irresponsibly drunk like this, but she's doing both. That means she's terrified. I want my foals to live, and if there is anything in those records that can help me better secure that, I want to know, and I'm sure you do too. I'm appealing to you as your sister and a mother; please, look."

Jordan released her friend from the magical grip, and Jessie briefly stumbled in her new freedom before grabbing the table to stabilize herself. Jordan sighed.

"Blue, can you tuck the foals into bed without me?" she said quietly.

"Are you actually going to go digging into Sunset Blessing's secrets?" Blue asked.

She looked him in the eyes. "I don't want to, but we need to know. I don't want us or our kids to be in danger."

He looked ready to object. She understood. Sunset Blessing's library was filled with all kinds of knowledge ponies shouldn't know. Dangerous spells that could do unspeakable things in the wrong hooves and no shortage of spells were meant to harm others– the government had contracted Sunset Blessing to weaponize magic back when she ruled Riverview. That mare had a twisted imagination when it came to hurting others. Jordan felt like her soul might be stained just knowing those spells, but buried in all that was the information they needed.

He looked away. "Yeah, I'll tuck them in, just don't stay up too late or try casting anything."

She kissed him. "I'll be in bed by midnight, and I will try to read as little as possible. If what I read isn't relevant to what I'm looking for, I'll move on to the next thing. I love you."

"Love you too," he said and kissed her again.

Charlotte stepped towards the door. "I think I'll get going. If the end of the world is coming, I want to spend all the time I can with my brother, sister, and all my nieces and nephews. On the bright side, I don't have any spouse or kids of my own to worry over. Maybe I should write my mom and mama a letter."

Jackie got down to the floor. "We were going to spend the night anyway. I'll get Jessie to bed, then go to the rec room to spend some time with my hubby and kids. He's probably ready for a little help dealing with them. I don't know what I'm going to tell him. Good luck, Jor."

Jordan walked over and hugged her sister. "Thanks, sis."

She then looked at her best friend, who was still supporting herself against the table. She hated seeing her like this. Wild Growth was the hero of the Cataclysm to everyone else, but Jessie had been Jordan's hero that day. "Jessie, get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow when you're sober. I might need your help understanding some things if I find them. Jackie will make sure your son doesn't know you got drunk."

"Sunset's got a spell that takes care of hangovers," Jessie said with a weak smile.

Jordan smiled back at her. "I'll see if I can find that one. Seems like a handy spell. Although, I can guess why that never got released to the public. Got to keep all your consequences for getting drunk, or everyone will get drunk."

Jessie stopped smiling. "When the world learns the truth, we will have bigger problems than people getting drunk."

Jordan suddenly felt much better about having walls around the property. There'd be riots. There'd be people trying to break into the property, not seeking revenge against Sunset Blessing but hoping that the manor held some secret that could save them.

It was time to find out if anything could save them.