Digging Deep...

by Some Leech

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Human, Daring Do, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Porn, Mystery, Fetish, Comedy, Profanity
Length: 5373

Anon would have been happy enough to have somepony save his bacon - fortunately for him, he got a lot more than that...

Out of the frying pan and into the fire, Anon found himself facing death yet again - that was until he was saved by an unlikely explorer of renown. As if being rescued wasn't enough of a relief, he soon discovers that his savior may have stumbled upon answers for the question that has been plaguing him. Hopeful, very much alive, and pining to understand why Equestria had no knowledge of the horizontal mambo, it seems like fortune has finally smiled upon him...

Kinks Include: Male on Female, Oral, Vaginal, Interspecies, Size Difference, Passionate Prehistory, Buried Treasure™, Squirting, and a Climactic Discovery to Span the Ages

Artwork by WeLost (@Weloost)

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Published 2022-02-23 21:20:07 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-23 21:20:07 UTC

You Call THIS Archeology

“Wha?!?” Anon blurted, bolting upright.

As he looked around in a panic, unsure of where he was or exactly what had happened, he moaned and clutched the back of his head. The last thing he recalled, before everything had gone dark, was plummeting to his death. Chrysalis and a super-beefy Ember, both covetous for his amorous affection, had started what he could only describe as a battle to the death over him - ultimately resulting in him being promptly dropped from the heavens.

While he was thankful not to have slipped from his mortal, aching coil, despite the small migraine tormenting him, he hadn’t the foggiest idea of where he was or who had rescued him. He definitely remembered someone or something speaking to him, and there’d been a flash of gold or yellow, but that was all his scrambled brains could produce. Scanning the interior of what appeared to be a relatively spacious tent, he drank in his surroundings.

Whoever had rescued him definitely seemed to be well equipped, given the various equipment and provisions within the shelter, which did make him feel marginally more comfortable. Maps, tools, rope, and even a small desk lie within the shelter, leading him to assume his savior was something of a nature-lover. Forcing himself to stand, he unsteadily got to his feet and shambled to the exit. Regardless of where he was or who savior was, he couldn’t stay long - not so long as he was anywhere near the dueling Matriarch of Dragon Lord. Pressing outside, he sheltered his eyes from the blazing, setting sun.

“Looks like someone finally decided to get up,” a voice called, drawing his attention off to the side.

Looking to the side, he glanced over and noticed a mare stacking wood in an unlit fire pit. It was fair to say that he didn’t know that many ponies outside of Ponyville, but the figure instantaneously evoked a memory. The olive-drab shirt and the pith hat would have been distinguishable enough in and of themselves, but the black mane and tail paired with the blonde coat and maroon eyes told him everything he needed to know.

“Daring Do?” he croaked.

Straightening up, the pegasus smiled over at him. “The one and only.”

Hanging his head and pinching the bridge of his nose, he held up a hand. “Just…Just give me a second here…”

And just like that, fate had thrown him yet another curve ball - then again, as much as he hated to admit it, he was starting to get used to all the wild shit life kept throwing at him. He’d met and subsequently bedded several royals, nearly died a handful of times, and was being hunted by a growing pantheon of creatures that either literally and/or figuratively wished to fuck him over. Fuck if he could explain how he was lucky enough to meet, let alone have his life saved by a treasure hunting pegasus, but was appreciative nonetheless.

“Thanks for rescuing me,” he murmured, smiling over at her.

“Eh - it’s no biggie. If I had a bit for everypony I’ve helped out of a pinch, I’d be absolutely loaded,” she chuckled, brushing herself off and trotting over to him. “Call it a guess, but I presume you’re that Anonymous guy?”

Turning his attention to the skies, praying he didn’t see any familiar figures circling, he numbly nodded. “Yup, that’s me. By the way, you haven’t seen a dragon or a changeling - like, a big, screechy changeling around, have you?”

“Those two who were fighting?” she replied, craning her head and squinting upward. “Not since I scooped you up, no.”

Hearing that she hadn’t spotted Ember or Chrysalis was a bit of a relief, especially because he’d likely been out for a few hours - still, he’d be willing to bet his bottom bit that they were out there searching for him. Reluctantly looking over and down at the mare, he rubbed the back of his neck. Though he was appreciative, he had a few questions that needed to be addressed - questions that he hoped she’d be able to answer.

“So - uh - where are we exactly?” he inquired.

Peering up at him, she waved a wing at the lush woodland surrounding them. “Well we’re in the south eastern jungles of Equestria, but this place doesn’t exactly have a name - I mean, I’m sure it did at one point, but that was a long, long time ago.”

Quirking a brow, the comment piqued his interest. “What do you mean?”

“Well there was an ancient civilization in these parts, but they’ve long since moved on for some reason or another,” she remarked. “As a matter of fact,” she added, nodding behind him and to his left, “there’s a ziggurat I’ve been rooting around inside just over there - problem is, there’s a pretty hefty pillar blocking the entrance of what I think is a shrine.”

“Huh,” he grunted, looking over his shoulder.

He’d read all about Daring Do’s exploits, having essentially had the books thrust upon him by Rainbow Dash, so he was aware that there were unexplored ruins scattered about some of the more inhospitable or untamed parts of the continent. Back on Earth, when he’d been a little kid, he’d been absolutely enchanted with the prospect of adventurers rooting around for artifacts of a bygone era, so he’d instantly taken an interest in the topic of Equestria’s past - unfortunately, he’d never gotten the opportunity to do anything more than study the subject. As he lifted a finger and turned back towards her, fully intent on continuing his casual interrogation, the distant sound of a roar sent a chill through him.

“H…hey, maybe I could help with that problem you’d mentioned,” he stammered, keenly aware that what he’d heard may have been one of his pursuers.

Cocking her head to the side, Daring shot him a confused look. “Right now? It’s almost dark and -”

“Sure, right now, why not,” he interjected, feeling a cold sweat bead his brow. “After that close call, I really wouldn’t mind stretching my legs - you know, to help me unwind?”

He couldn’t give a shit less about limbering up or trying to de-stress, not when there was even a remote chance that they were about to get a visit from a roided-out, randy reptile or a perverted, promiscuous parasite. Without waiting for the aeronautic archeologist’s reply, he wheeled around and started marching in the direction she’d motioned in. The longer he could stay out of sight, the better his chances that Chrysalis and Ember would look for him elsewhere - which meant he might, might be able to elude his stalkers.

As the mare cantered to his side and slightly ahead of him, she scrunched her snout. “Since you’re feeling better, you mind explaining why one of the most feared villains in Equestria and who I think was the ruler of the Dragon Lands were going at it?”

Keeping his eyes dead ahead, he nodded. “I would, but it’s top secret. The Princesses have me on a mission of the utmost importance…”

He was far from a bullshit artist, but the excuse was the first reasonably plausible explanation that came to mind. Glancing over to her face, he held his breath. It was understandable that she’d want some explanation as to what in the hell was going on, but spilling the beans and telling her about his raunchy adventure could and in all likelihood would make his situation all the more tenuous - that is, if his perverse brand of luck continued to hold true. Noticing the sun cutting through the canopy, realizing they were approaching a clearing, he looked ahead and slowed.

“Holy shit,” he murmured, spying a massive pyramidal structure before them.

Stopping beside him, Daring grinned from ear to ear. “She’s a beauty, isn’t she? I’m thinking she’s at least a millennium old - maybe a little older.”

As his guide continued to trot onward, he quickly caught up and matched her pace. Covered in vines and various sorts of overgrowth, with only bits and pieces of its stone edifice easily visible, it was no wonder that the ruins had gone undiscovered for ages; even from the skies, creatures could and probably had passed over the thing without ever noticing it. As he followed along behind the winged explorer, momentarily distracted by the enormity of the ancient architecture, he stooped his head and entered a spacious open corridor on the structure’s face.

The balmy air of the outdoors was replaced by the cool, dank interior of the ziggurat, while they pressed deeper and deeper into the long abandoned building. Fortunately for him, his host was more than prepared for the development. Stopping just ahead of him, the mare produced a torch from under her wing, held it in her teeth, and pulled a small flint and striker from beneath her hat.

“I gotta admit,” he began, as she deftly ignited the cloth-wrapped length of wood, “I never thought I’d get to meet you.”

“And I never thought I’d see a human falling to their death,” she coolly retorted, leading the way. “Not like I’m trying to downplay us crossing paths, but I’ve had much, much weirder stuff happen before.”

“Tell me about it,” he groaned, trying not to think about how wild the last two months had been. Peering past her, seeing what appeared to be a toppled column and debris obstructing the package, he cracked his knuckles. “I’m guessing that’s your problem?”

“Yup, that’s it. I could try and clear that rubble out from under it, but being squished in the middle of nowhere really isn’t on my to-do list,” she huffed. Holding the torch high, idling just in front of the blockage, she turned to face him. “Alright, if you can push on this lower side, I’ll -”

“Just hang tight, I want to try something,” he cut her off.

If he had to name one benefit of being the only human in Equestria, it was being a physical powerhouse compared to most of the world. So far as he could tell, his strength was on par with some of the biggest, most heavily built earth ponies around - sure, he could still be overwhelmed by particularly potent magic, and it wasn’t like his brawn had much practical use, but he’d won a few bits here and there from foreleg wrestling competitions or helping folks move. Momentarily assessing the pillar, he moved to its high-resting end, planted his shoulder against the cold stone, braced his legs, and shoved for all his worth.

Pushing off with his legs, taking care not to throw his back out, he grit his teeth. It would have been smart to coordinate the arduous endeavor with Daring Do, having her lend her muscle to the task, but he couldn’t help from showboating a bit - well, trying to showboat a bit. As he cursed under his breath, hearing the pegasus stifle a snicker, he felt something give way. The column rolled forward, sliding down the debris it was lodged on, and left a clearing just wide enough for a pony or man sucking in his gut to slip through.

“Honestly, I didn’t think you could pull that off,” she remarked, nonchalantly strolling to and through the small opening.

Mentally agreeing with her, somewhat surprised that he’d managed to move the blockage, he sidled through the gap, stepped into the chamber, and froze. Though it was dimly lit, with only Daring’s torch to cast any light whatsoever, he could tell the room was huge. Staying in place and watching the pegasus flit about and light abandoned torches on the walls, his excitement mounted.

It may have sounded silly, but he felt like an honest to goodness treasure hunter - granted, he didn’t have a whip or a snappy fedora, but his feeling of childlike wonderment would not be denied. Cautiously pressing onward, with the warm, flickering light finally revealing his surroundings, his eyes widened in shock. It wasn’t the fact that the room was circular that stunned him, nor that there were raised pedestals surrounding what appeared to be a throne of some sort - no, his eyes were glued to the engravings on the smoothly hewn walls.

“You have got to be shitting me,” he mumbled to himself, gazing at the elaborate carvings.

As unbelievable as it was, the etchings depicted one thing and one thing only - sex. Like some Equestrian version of the Kama Sutra, there were depictions of ponies making love in every fashion imaginable. Whatever culture had made the shrine clearly hadn’t been concerned about modesty, heterosexuality, or monogamy, because the pictures emblazoned on the walls could make a whore blush. Shuffling to the center of the room, he struggled to comprehend what he was seeing.

Finding the remains of a lewd, ancient civilization would have been fascinating in and of itself, but the fact that some primitive society in Equestria actually knew what sex was left him floored. With his jaw nearly on the floor, only then spotting inscriptions in and around the erotic diagrams, the pegasus fluttered down beside him. Shaking his head and clearing his thoughts, overjoyed that someone on the planet had some knowledge of carnality, he smiled down at the mare.

“Well this is a bust,” she muttered, snapping him from his reverie.

“What do you mean ~ this is a huge find!” he exclaimed, waving at the lewd pictures. “Have you ever seen -”

“A fake?” she interrupted, glowering up at him. “Yeah, I have, and this is clearly one of them.”

Taken aback, utterly in disbelief, he backed away. “Trust me, this is not a fake…”

“Oh yeah?” she countered, her voice positively dripping in sarcasm. “Unless you can come up with a really compelling argument or produce a doctorate in archeology, I’m not buying it. Listen, I’ve been doing this for a long, long time, and I’ve never seen anything as absurd as this shrine,” she sighed, giving a pair of air quotes with her wings. “My guess is that there was some ruler or chieftain with a sense of humor - that or this is a decoy for a real temple somewhere nearby.”

Growing increasingly frustrated, he waved at a particularly large display of unintelligible runes. “Well can you at least tell me what this says?!”

Daring rolled her eyes and stepped closer to the engravings, begrudgingly scanning the text. “It says something about love and the body being entwined,” she flatly stated. “Now if you don’t have anything more compelling to add, I’m sure the Princesses will be happy to hear that you’re not dead.”

The mention of the Princesses caused a pit to form in his stomach. He’d finally found some hint about sexuality in Equestria, only to have it blown off as though it was nothing - to make matters worse, because of his ridiculous alibi, his savior seemed intent on turning him in to the authorities. Frustrated and anxious, desperate to get some real answers to the erotic enigma of the world, an insidious idea crept into his thoughts.

“What if I can prove this is real…?” he whispered.

“Hah,” she scoffed. “If you can do that, I’ll transcribe everything in this room and list you as a co-author on the article I write for this discovery.”

Anon knew what he had to do, though he was loath to do it. He’d been coerced into having sex, nearly been forced to have sex, and been tricked into having sex - now he was about to do it merely to prove a point. There was no way he wasn’t going to regret what he was about to do, but he wanted - no, needed to figure out why in the world was ignorant about coitus. Turning to the exit, he waved for the mare to follow.

“Come on, I’ll show you back at camp,” he remarked.

Staying right where she was, bearing a smug little grin, she didn’t budge a muscle. “If you can’t prove it here, what makes you think you can prove it at my camp?” she incredulously asked. “In fact, if you can’t prove it here, I think I’ll head off and tell the royal guard that I rescued you.”

Stopping dead in his tracks, he wheeled around and stared at her. “You’re bluffing…”

“I’m not, but you sure have been. A top secret mission that involves Ember and Chrysalis ~ give me a break! Either you put your bits where your mouth is or I’m out of here,” she groused, her eyes never wavering from his own.

With her declaration, the gauntlet had been laid. If he didn’t show her a good time, she’d abandon him in the jungle, leave the script in the temple undeciphered, and rat him out to the alicorns. Though his hand had been well and thoroughly forced, a brilliant determination roared within him. Knowing full well that he could substantiate his claims, yet somewhat off-put that he’d have to do it in the dusty old ruins, he glanced over at one of the bed-like pedestals.

“Go lay down,” he instructed, reaching for his pants.

Glancing between him and the stone platform, she pursed her lips. “Why?”

“I’ll show you that all this stuff is true, but if you’re too chicken…” he trailed off, letting the slight hang.

He’d heard about how brazen and occasionally hardheaded she could be, so goading her seemed like the most prudent option. Sure enough, after momentarily glowering up at him, she flitted into the air and soared to the nearest pedestal. If she wanted to be served a big, throbbing slice of humble pie - by Celestia, that’s exactly what she was going to get. In spite of the fact that his hubris may well bite him in the ass, like so many times in recent history, he loosened his belt and fiddled with his fly.

Had the situation been a bit different, he would have been absolutely thrilled to teach her about the sensual joys of lovemaking - sadly, that wasn’t the case. If he didn’t make good and damn sure that she knew he wasn’t joking, he’d be thrown out of the frying pan and into the fire - not to mention he’d lose the chance to learn the ruin’s secrets. Gazing upon her, he smiled. Whether she knew it or not, he was about to rock her world.

“Actually, get up for a second,” he noted, motioning for her to move, “I have an idea.”

Pulling his shirt up and over his head, as she hopped off the dais, he draped the garment over the cold stone. Fooling around on a mattress would have been ideal, but he was left to make due with what he had on hand. As he knelt down beside her, reaching out to her collar, she slapped his hand away.

“What are you doing? You said you’d -” she was silenced, as he held a finger to her lips.

“Do you want proof or not? If you do, and if you don’t want to make a mess, take your shirt off,” he softly admonished.

With a defiant snort, reaching her wings around to her chest, she undressed. As she tossed her shirt onto the platform, having rested her trusty hat to the side, she looked up at him. “Now what?”

“Now get comfortable and lift your hind leg for me,” he replied, as she jumped back onto the dais.

Doing as he’d asked, lying lengthwise on the slab of stone, she lifted her lower limb and gave him an unabashed look at her groin. The darkened mount of her meaty sex, resting just beneath her pair of modestly sized bosoms, caused his pulse to quicken. Regardless of the less than romantic surroundings, the sight of an attractive mare was enough to get his blood pumping.

As he crawled onto the large pedestal, having kicked his pants away, he shook his head. His attraction to mares was what had gotten him into this mess, yet he was utterly powerless to stop himself from lusting after the cute, alluring creatures that inhabited the land. Even if he could get back to Earth, there was a damn good chance he wouldn’t be as interested in human women as he’d once been.

Lowering her head, Daring peered down her chest at him. “You’re not going to do anything weird, are you?”

“Just trust me,” he chuckled, breathing in the delicate fragrance of her sex, “I’m a professional.”

Leaning in, taking his time, he kissed his way round her hip and to her marehood. The downy coat of her underbelly gave way to the velvety, warm flesh of her bare loins, as he reached her lower lips. She may not have been worked up yet, ignorant to what he was about to do, but he had every intention of changing that.

Closing his eyes, focusing on his other senses, he gingerly sank his tongue into silken folds of her snatch. With one arm draped over her hip, holding her in place, he both felt and heard her gasp. Though he’d expected a startled reaction from her, he paused to give her a bit of reassurance.

“Just tell me if you want me to stop,” he noted, lifting his head to glance at her face.

“A…alright,” she stammered, a blush settling into her cheeks.

With nothing more to be said, he let his actions speak for him. The tart, almost grassy flavor of her sex danced over his taste buds, his fingers lovingly clutched her toned behind, and a shuddering sigh of contentment drifted to his ear, as he put his mouth to work. Moaning into her, feeling her wink against his lips, he found himself thankful for the remarkable change of pace.

He couldn’t deny that Ember’s treatment of him, using him like a walking, talking marital aid, was exciting - still, it left something to be desired. The aspect of control afforded by every pony he’d been with, of being able to wrap a mare around his finger, was a curious mix of intoxicating and arousing. Adjusting himself slightly, bringing one hand to her breasts, he lightly twisted her teat.

“B…buck,” she sputtered, reflexively humping into his face.

As badly as he wanted stop and berate her, lording over how he was right, he continued lapping at her sex - at least, that’s what he had planned. His motions ground to a halt, as something pulled at his underwear. Looking to his crotch, seeing her pulling at the waistband of his boxers, he smirked to himself. If she wanted to join him, far be it for him to oppose.

The second his manhood sprang free, he realized they’d hit a snag. On the few other occasions he’d had sixty-nines with quadrupeds, his partners had been significantly larger than the average Equestrian pony. Chrysalis, Cadance, and Queen Novo were all much bigger than your bog standard mare, making mutual oral an easy and comfortable affair. As she craned her head and extended her tongue, trying and failing to reach his turgid length, he cleared his throat.

“Can you reach it with your wings?” he asked, genuinely curious.

Extending one wing above her head, wrapping her oddly dexterous pinions around his shaft, she carefully stroked him off. “Like this?”

“Yeah,” he contentedly hummed, savoring the novel sensation, “just keep doing that.”

He hadn’t been sure of how pleasant a wing-job would be, but be damned if it didn’t feel great. Her feathers were deceptively soft, yet her grip on him was just firm enough to show she had a bit of confidence. Only letting himself enjoy her masturbatory efforts for a moment, lest he neglect his little host, he dove between her thighs and plunged his tongue into her depths.

The last thing he’d expected was for her to take an active role in the amorous affair - that being said, her ambition was wildly inspirational. It was easy to guess where she’d gotten the idea from, with several murals depicting ponies getting jacked off with wings or hooves surrounding them, though he wouldn’t have guessed it would feel as good as it did. Lightly thrusting his hips, enjoying her attempt to get him off, he suckled on her engorged clit.

As he lipped the sensitive bud, she faltered and groaned aloud. There was something deeply rewarding about introducing a creature to sensual, fleshly joys, even though that was the reason he was on the lam to begin with. Tweaking her nipple and gingerly accosting her clit, he reared back and swallowed a mouthful of her juices.

“If you think that’s good, wait until you see what’s next,” he snickered, propping himself on one arm.

Swinging his legs backward, bringing his groin away from her, he got to his feet and walked around the platform. There was more than enough room on the stone surface to hold both of them comfortably, leading him to believe that the space may have been used for threesomes or gang-bangs, which meant he’d be able to pull off one of his favorite positions. Coming up behind her, getting back onto the dais, he pressed his chest to her back.

Peeking over her shoulder at him, adjusting her positioning to give him a bit more room, Daring nervously smiled. “J…just be gentle, alright,” she breathed, as the tip of his cock nudged her slickened entrance.

“Don’t worry, I will,” he sweetly responded, wrapping his arms around her.

There was something undeniably intimate about cuddle-fucking with someone, and he figured it would be a damn fine way to break the intrepid explorer in. Holding her close, gradually easing his length into her snug depths, he breathed hotly into her ear. Months prior, before his life had been flipped on its head, he would have laughed at the notion of making love to Daring Do in an abandoned temple, yet there he was doing just that. Only stopping once most of his shaft was entombed within her silken confines, he gave her a few seconds to adjust, held her steady, and started lightly thrusting.

Her eyelids fluttered, as she softly grunted with each thrust. “Oh my gosh.”

“Better than finding buried treasure?” he jested, slipping one hand to her abdomen.

“Uh…uh-huh,” she weakly replied, clenching around him. “I can’t believe I never -”

“Sssssssssh,” he affectionately hissed, bringing his free hand to her muzzle. “Enough talking…”

Sliding two fingers into her mouth, feeling her shudder against him, he went rigid - not because she’d done anything wrong, but because she started sucking on his digits. Feeling her pouting lips and supple tongue against him was hotter than hell, causing him to plow her harder and faster than he’d intended, although it didn’t explain how she knew what to do. Dismissing the question, more intent on bringing her to climax, he cleared his thoughts and kissed his way up her neck.

Listening to her hum around his fingers, breathing in her natural fragrance, he shifted slightly and altered his thrusts. He’d been with enough ponies to have a pretty good understanding about their anatomy, having found their erogenous zones through trial and error, so he used the knowledge he’d accrued against her. As his dick ground against her g-spot, she threw her head back and mewled.

“Good girl,” he purred, while he brought his hand from her teats to her crotch, “just like that.”

“W…what,” she croaked, moments before she cried out in bliss a second time.

He hadn’t needed to play with her clit while screwing her, but she deserved nothing less - after all, since she’d doubted him, he was going to do everything in his power to give her an experience she’d never forget. Proving himself was more than just a matter of pride; if and when he’d won her over, he’d be getting an invaluable ally - one who may well know of remote locations or undiscovered tribes of ponies that could shelter him from his many pursuers. As her thighs quaked and breaths grew ragged, he pushed the thought aside and focused on her.

The drumbeat of his hips against her sculpted backside mingled with his throaty grunts and her whorish, barely restrained whimpers, while he pushed her to her limit. Though she’d lasted remarkably longer than most of the veritable pantheon of partners he’d had, he could tell she wasn’t going to last all that much longer. The quake in her thighs, her hitched breaths, and the way her marehood clamped around his backstrokes, almost fighting his withdrawals, told him everything he needed to know. Eager to sink the final nail in her coffin, he pulled his fingers from her snout, turned her head to face him, and locked lips with her.

The french kiss was more than enough to send her flying over the edge, bringing her to a ruinous finish. Her entire body tensed, she howled into his maw, and her depths convulsed around him, as a deluge of thick, climactic nectar squelched from around his pistoning length. He was nowhere near finished, but that didn’t bother him in the slightest - as far as he was concerned, hammering home his point and making her cum a few more times suited his purposes just fine.

Giving her a small pause, rearing back and breaking their kiss, he gazed into her eyes. “So?”

As she stared back at him, with a strand of saliva connecting their lips, he could practically see how severely the orgasm had impacted her. Realizing he still had a ways to go until he was finished, he pulled his arm free from under her and languidly shuffled backward. The height of their makeshift bed looked like it would be suitable for some missionary, although there was only one way to find out.

Getting to his feet and giving himself a brief stretch, smirking down at her limp, shivering form, he moved to the foot of the platform. “You ready for more?”

Peering down at her, seeing her looking at something behind him, an ominous feeling settled over him. They were well away from any sort of established settlement, as far as he knew, yet it wasn’t until that moment that he felt as though he was being watched. Turning around, he glanced towards the exit and gulped. Standing near the toppled pillar, coolly trotting towards them, was the unmistakable silhouette of a pony.

“Hope I’m not interrupting, but I’ve got some pressing business with Anon,” a decidedly cold, feminine voice called out.

Coming into the flickering torchlight, clad in what appeared to be a bodysuit and armor, the mare made herself visible. Fuck if he knew who she was, but her unyielding gaze, stoic demeanor, and something about her tone set his nerves on edge. Without ever having seen her before, something told Anon that she was not a pony to be trifled with.

“If - uh - if you can - Fuck!” he squawked, as interloper expertly immobilized his legs with a bolas.

“Here’s how this is going to play out,” she apathetically intoned, sparks flying from her horn - no, the shattered nub of a horn, “we can do this the easy way or the hard way. If I might make a suggestion, you’ll keep your mouth shut and do exactly what I say…”

Staring over at her in disbelief, he waved his arms. “How the fuck am I supposed to - Ach!”

Without any warning whatsoever, a bolt of lightning shot from their unexpected visitor and impacted him squarely in the chest. Though he’d never been tased before, having always avoided cops or security guards with an inferiority complex, he assumed the pain coursing through him was akin to the unpleasant experience. Toppling to the ground, smacking his head against the unyielding stone, he wearily watched the intimidating creature strut closer.

“Let’s try that again ~” she cooed, her teal eyes lighted the magic crackling around her shattered horn, “do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way…?”