Nine Penises Queen Chrysalis Has
“Ugh,” Chrysalis groaned, her pendulous nine penises swinging to and fro as she flew across the hive, “it is such a pain having nine penises.”
Pharynx looked up. “Just shut it, we hear about your nine penises every day and it’s getting annoying.”
“Quiet, wretch!” Chrysalis shouted as she landed, her nine penises knocking against each other like one of the perpetual motion devices that people who are far more successful than the amount of labor they put in warrants, “I’ll stop complaining about my nine penises when I stop having nine penises.”
“You know,” Pharynx said, “you can shift into a form that doesn’t have nine penises if you’re tired of having nine penises.”
Chrysalis shook her head. “That wouldn’t be much use. When I go to sleep, my nine penises will re-emerge and I’ll have weird and awkward dreams involving my mother and my nine penises and then I’ll wake up soaked in my bed, or if I’m lucky, my nine penises will have morning wood.”
“What’s the problem with your nine penises having morning wood?” Pharynx asked, apparently a fan of morning wood.
“It’s because I have to masturbate each of my nine penises individually, or go searching around the hive for the succubi with my nine penises erect and noling likes that.” Chrysalis huffed. “My nine penises get stuck on stuff or poke out the eyes of random changelings, and I’ve received several complaints about getting poked in the eye by one of my nine penises. I could ignore them, but I can’t for complicated reasons.”
Pharynx sighed as he did whatever it was changelings did in the hive. Eat? Sleep? Enact their favorite pieces of media? It’s a mystery. “Are they reasons involving your nine penises?”
Chrysalis retched. “No, it has to do with my approval levels and reputation. Why does everything have to be about my nine penises with you?”
“Because it’s all you complain about!”
Chrysalis lifted up, her nine penises collecting into a pendulum again. “Well, having nine penises isn’t easy, let me tell you.” She landed in front of Pharynx, whose gaze was nine-penised level. He knew better and looked up. Gazing into the nine penises of Chrysalis too long assured only madness. “It’s like having one penis, but nine times.”
“Hey, buddy, what’s going on—” Thorax said before he encountered Pharynx, his brother, and Chrysalis, his nine-penised queen, engaged in a staredown. “O-Okay,” Thorax said as he cautiously approached them, “what’s going on?”
“Your superior brother is working on demoting himself to inferior brother by questioning the necessity of complaining about the trials and tribulations of being born with nine penises.”
“Our Queen is interfering in whatever it is the narrative has decided what we are doing at the moment with her harsh and grating grievances concerning her nine penises.”
Thorax pursed his lips and thought. This was certainly an impasse. His mother, the Inexorable Queen Chrysalis would usually have every right to complain about her nine penises. Pharynx, on the other hoof, had pointed out that the Incalculable Queen Chrysalis’s complaints about her nine penises have driven the other drones in the hive into confusion.
This was a brain work. Thorax sat down for a moment.
“What if we captured the Ninegina from Abyssinia?”
All of the buzzing stopped. Chrysalis slowly leaned her head to face Thorax. “What is the Ninegina?”
Thorax gulped. Pharynx started looking at him too, curious about the curio that Thorax brought up.
“W-W-Well, the Ninegina is a device that can only be accessed with nine penises, and they say behind the Ninegina lies ancient treasure,” Thorax said, sizing up his objectively superior rivals, “but I think the Ninegina is treasure in and of itself—”
“I have heard enough, whelp!” Chrysalis said as she flew up to the tippy top of the hive and opened it into nine slices, each slice representing in her heart one of her nine penises.
“My children, I understand how difficult it is for you to her me gnash and wail about the torturous existence that is having nine penises!”
The changelings buzzed and bizzed at the proclamation.
“That my hemming and hawing about the state of my pendulous nine penises has driven you into a whizz!”
They indeed whizzed.
“But!”
The wizz wuzzed
“We have a solution now! A purpose!”
The wuzz rewhizzed.
“We, the Changeling Hive of these Bad Lands, will swarm upon the denizens of Abyssinia and extract what we need from them! We will raze their granaries, divert their water, and right-click their NFTs! And in all of that rage and destruction, I will swoop in and steal the Ninegina so that we may all know peace once more!”
The entire hive huzzed and hurrahed so loudly, that creepy mole guy whose name isn’t worth remembering from Klugetown heard it and he warned everyone else.
“Are you with me?” Chrysalis roared.
A massive soundwave resembling the yes frequency reached her ears, but she didn’t have hearing damage yet.
“Will you come with me to raze Abyssinia to dust so that I can claim the Ninegina and end all of our suffering forevermore?”
Another soundwave approached her larger in volume. This one definitely was stressing her eardrums, but she needed some real pain to go ahead with it.
“Are you capable of looking a dying creature in the eyes, blood dribbling from their lips, and tell them the reason they are in such great peril is because the Impossible Queen Chrysalis has nine penises that ache and are in need of reliable relief?”
The hive reverberated confusion. Chrysalis buried her face in her hoof and shook her head.
“DO YOU WANT PEACE‽”
A multisonic affirmation appropriated her thinkspace.
“THEN WE MUST GO TO WAR!!”
With that, multitudes of onyx-colored insectine equines blotted out the sky and weather formate-ed towards Abyssinia, leaving Thorax and Pharynx alone.
Thorax looked up. “D-do we follow?”
Pharynx shook his head. “No. That’s a story for another day.”
“Will we see that story?” Thorax asked, gazing into the distance.
His brother took a deep breath. “One can only hope.”
