Twilight Takes Up Writing

by Leondude

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2234

Under Starlight's advice, and to cope with the stress of ruling Equestria, Twilight takes up writing. She quickly gets carried away.

Note: Contrary to what the cover art depicts, this story takes place after the future events depicted in The Last Problem.

To cope with the extreme stress of running Equestria, and because Starlight suggested it to her, Twilight makes a hobby out of writing fiction. And the reason she's writing fiction instead of something autobiographical is because she doesn't want a repeat of what happened when she published the Friendship Journals.

Unsurprisingly, she gets carried away very quickly.

Published 2022-02-22 20:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-22 20:20:00 UTC

So Many Ideas, So Little Time

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there was a princess named Twilight Sparkle. While she was a fair princess who proved slightly more competent than her predecessors, tax policy notwithstanding, she was not brave enough for her new position on the political ladder. In fact, she was scared out of her wits. Between bickering bureaucrats and a polarized population that, despite her best efforts, still have one or two ponies who are sowing disarray for little to no reason at all, she honestly wondered how Celestia even managed to rule Equestria for over a thousand years. Then again, if the longest period of harmony during the last few years of her and Luna’s rule was only a year, she dreaded to imagine what was the shortest period of harmony. Why her former teacher thought she was fit to lead an entire country even though there was nothing on her curriculum on princesshood, she will never know. Though she definitely had some ideas that being the Princess of Friendship lends itself well to negotiating with the leaders of other lands, even though her attempts at negotiating can get very aggressive at times. Especially when they involve rainbow lasers.

When nopony was looking, and when she saw there was free time on her schedule, she teleported out of her throne room and into the principal’s office of the School of Friendship. Her sudden arrival startled the principal, who was once her own pupil just as she was once Celestia’s pupil. Though, unlike Celestia, Twilight had valid reasons to promote Starlight to her current position. Despite her many shortcomings, Starlight has proven herself to be an exceptional leader and is surprisingly good at giving ponies advice. If it weren’t for her, the School of Friendship would still be shut down.

“Oh, hey, Twilight,” Starlight said as she sat down at her desk, “Have you come to check on Luster Dawn?”

“Nope,” Twilight said, her eye twitching slightly, “Just here to vent out my personal frustrations.”

Starlight laid back in her chair, “Well, I did use to be the school’s Guidance Counsellor. Fire away.”

“So…uh…remember when I wrote that Friendship Journal?” Twilight asked sheepishly.

Mmm-hmm,” Starlight nodded.

“Well, because I had some free time and because I thought there was gonna be a civil war, I thought it would a good idea to write a sequel to that detailing how the School of Friendship re-opened and the whole thing with Cozy Glow and Tirek and basically everything that happened before my coronation,” Twilight explained, “Oh, and I also wrote about what happened with the Guardians of Harmony.”

“And?” Starlight asked.

Twilight giggled nervously, “Let’s just say I have learnt nothing from publishing the Friendship Journals because, just like last time, the public didn’t even bother paying attention to the actual friendship lessons. Instead, they’re even more divided than ever because now they’re arguing if we were in the right to turn Chrysalis, Cozy Glow and Tirek into stone while allowing you and Tempest to learn friendship, whether the Guardians of Harmony actually existed, or if I’ve been mind-controlling you this entire time!”

Starlight tilted her head, “The public think you’re mind-controlling me?”

“There was this thing called Middle-Equus: Shadow of War where the protagonist uses this magical ring to make his enemies bend to his will,” Twilight replied, “But, despite their new allegiance, his enemies still retain their personalities and one of them even betrayed him at one point. And because I wrote about the Want-It, Need-It incident in my Friendship Journals and Discord blabbed that I have books filled with mind-control spells in my personal library, one of which he ripped the pages out of, some ponies now think I used a Domination spell on you and Sunset Shimmer to rewrite your personalities. But that’s ridiculous because, if I did re-write your personality, I would have made you think twice before using the Want-It, Need-It spell on the professional critics that trashed your books.”

Starlight sighed. Even when she was nearing old age, there were still many things she will never live down. Despite her annoyance at Twilight ripping open that old wound, she was willing to let it slide because she had done worse and yet Twilight was willing to forgive her all the same.

“I see,” Starlight said, “Well, if there was one thing I learned from my own writing escapades, it’s to not let my critics get the better of me.”

“But the ponies who are criticizing my own work are denying certain events actually happened,” Twilight ponited out.

“If they wanna live in their own delusional fantasies, let them,” Starlight said, “And if you’re worried about ponies questioning whether something happened or not, why not write something fictional? That’s what I did.”

Twilight put a hoof to her mouth and pondered, “Well, I do have an epic in mind. It’s about this foal from another world who teamed up with other versions of himself to rebel against his creator only for his comrades to get destroyed by the creator. But, because the creator relies on the adulation of these extradimensional beings he dubs “Watchers”, he allows this foal and the few creations that surrendered to him to live in exchange for providing entertainment for his Watchers. But when the foal reached stallionhood, the stress from living in a world that’s so much like his old one and yet so different was too much for him to bear so he tried to run away and do everything in his power to avoid his new responsibilities. I’m not sure what happens next but I do know the story will end in that foal-turned-stallion returning to his creator, wiser and ready to do his creator’s bidding. So the creator tasked him with keeping order in the world lest another rebellion occurs.”

Starlight looked at Twilight, unsure of what to say. On the one hoof, she does like Twilight’s idea and there is an important lesson in there that ponies could learn from. But on the other hoof, her readers might get the wrong idea and think she’s an authoritarian trying to justify what they believe to be a dictatorship. And even though it’s been years since she robbed ponies of her cutie marks and enslaved them in her village, she was still haunted by her past and was worried that Twilight might go down the same path she saved her from.

“That’s…” Starlight said hesitantly, “Actually really good. What’s your inspiration?”

“I thought of it somewhere between Celestia telling me she’s retiring and my actual coronation,” Twilight replied, “It’s about how, no matter how frightened you may be or how much you question the actions and decisions of a higher power, it will all work out in the end if you just keep calm and face your problems head-on. Oh, and if you get along with other ponies.”

“Well, if it stops you from Twilighting and ponies might actually learn from the finished product, I say go for it,” Starlight said encouragingly.

The night was dark and cold as Spike wandered towards the long-dilapedated castle that once belonged to Twilight and the two sisters before her. It had been thousands and thousands of years since Twilight last left her castle to the point that the few ponies that still lived in Equestria thought she and her friends were a myth like Robbing Hood. Legendary figures whose adventures could be retold by the entertainment business in exchange for riches Spike could only dream of. Though some of those re-tellings definitely took liberties with the source materials or even told their own original stories that just so happened to include his friends. If Rarity was here, she would gush over the few diamond scupltures of her that are worth a fortune in the collector’s market.

After pulling away at the tree branches and thick brambles covering the castle doors, Spike pushed the doors open and made his way inside the castle. Despite the castle being pitch-black, he was greeted by the sight of moths the size of vampire bats fluttering through the open door and towards the moonlight. Picking up one of branches, Spike blew a small puff of fire to turn it into a make-shift torch.

“Hello?” Spike asked, his voice echoing through the corridors, “Is anypony home?”

Carefully, he treaded through the castle halls. He knew the throne room wasn’t that far ahead but, because it was night-time, it was more likely he would find Twilight in the royal bedroom. Provided she hadn’t perished and/or the massive moths didn’t have a taste for pony flesh. Despite his attempts at caution, he had stepped on a few moths who thought what was left of the royal rugs made a lovely snack. As he made his way to what he hoped was the bedroom, he carefully opened the door and saw it was illuminated with scented candles and the walls were plastered with notes and doodles. In the centre of the candlelit room was an alicorn with a dishevelled mane covered in ink and bits of parchment. Despite her unkempt appearance, Spike could tell by what few patches of lavender on her coat was left that the alicorn was none other than Twilight. Because he hadn’t seen her in millenia and thought for sure she was a goner, Spike breathed a sigh of relief.

Twilight’s bloodshot eyes directed themselves at Spike, “Hi, Spike. I didn’t see you there.”

While momentarily disturbed by Twilight’s deranged look, Spike quickly composed himself, “What happened? You said you were just gonna take a break.”

“I did,” Twilight replied, “Asked parliament to run things while I’m away.”

Spike gave Twilight an odd look, “Parliament?”

“Or was it called ‘congress’?” Twilight wondered to herself, “Either way, they’re the ponies that used to write up laws and acts while Celestia sat on her flank eating cake.”

Spike let out a quiet chuckle. Ignoring her opinion on Celestia’s terrible acting skills, that was the first time he saw Twilight talk smack about her mentor.

“So, what brings you to my private quarters?” Twilight asked, “Did the PM/President/Chancellor break the magic dial I gave that controls the sun and moon?”

“Actually, I was gonna tell you something amazing happened today,” Spike replied, “But before that, WHERE THE HAY HAVE YOU BEEN?!”

Twilight was taken aback by Spike suddenly shouting at her, “I’ve been busy writing. I’ve told you and everypony in parliament this.”

“Writing?” Spike asked.

“Yes,” Twilight replied, “You can’t just write up an epic within a day or two. Although I have written plenty of short stories that range from hilarious antics involving my friends to these weird picture books involving an army of Wonderbolt clones being a thorn in the Wonderbolts’ side and this twisted clone of Spitfire uses this magic hat to possess a unicorn-genie hybrid. Oh, and I also written a romance novel where a mare falls in love with this bat-pony.”

Spike groaned, “Please tell you didn’t just admit to being the author of that dumb bat-pony story.”

Twilight shrugged sheepishly, “What? I got sidetracked. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have so many stories inside your head that you feel compelled to put pen to paper no matter the quality of the story? As Starlight said, I should block out those that don’t like my writing. As the foals and fillies these days say, haters are gonna hate. They still say that, right?”

Spike just stared at Twilight. He didn’t know what was worse. That Twilight put aside her royal duties and teaching friendship lessons in exchange for writing her flank off or the fact that some of her stories were hot garbage that sell like buns because most ponies are either influenced by their hormones or liked to project themselves of blank slates.

“Did you get around to finishing that epic?” Spike asked.

Twilight let out demented, if slightly nervous, giggle, “I…kinda had to put that one on hold. So many ideas in my head, so little time to write them down. Sure, I’m immortal but it’s not like I can spend all of eternity taking my time with this one thing. Our world is finite and I don’t think alicorns can breathe in space. So why not spend time working on these other things? Especially since these other things are less divisive than what I wrote previously, ehehehehahahaha!”

Spike was very unnerved by Twilight’s sudden decline in sanity. Clearly, spending millenia after millenia in her bedroom did little good for her mental health.

“Well, good news is all the ponies in the land are friends again because this one Earth pony suddenly turned into an alicorn,” Spike explained.

Twilight tilted her head, “Huh?”

“It makes sense in context,” Spike replied, “Anyway, gonna go buy one of those rare Rarity dolls. Catch ya later.”

Spike immediately ran out of the castle. Twilight, meanwhile, picked up a piece of parchment with her magic and started scribbling away.

“So many ideas, so little time.”

Author's Note

And now you know where Twilight was during My Little Pony: A New Generation. :twilightsmile:

In other news, I think I'm gonna take a long break from writing fanfiction. Rather fitting since this is my 42nd story and 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything.