Twilight was about to make a new friend.
Sir William was what one classified as a ‘human’. He was tall and lanky with slightly bulging biceps. Their scientific name was ‘homo sapiens’, known to be the only talking species on their planet called ‘Earth’. The suit of armor he was wearing was made from a metal called ‘iron.’ Knighted under a ‘Queen Elizabeth’, William height was approximately…
“Twilight focus!” Rainbow Dash quietly shouted from within the bush.
Wait? In a bush?
One might ask themselves as to why Twilight was in a bush. Again to make a friend.
Twilight looked through her binoculars, finding Sir William taking a scone Princess Luna had offered.
Another question, why would Twilight be looking through binoculars when she was trying to make a friend? Simple, it was her five minute turn with them.
“Twilight tell them about the part of how we’re all in a bush.” Pinkie Pie said, letting out whee when her head was pushed back down.
Currently Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity…
“Don’t forget me,” Spike interrupted.
And Spike were hiding in a bush watching William and the lunar princess enjoying a cup of tea.
“Ask another question darling!” Rarity said, excited at the detective work.
Fine.
Now, why would they hide in a bush when a dear friend and a soon to be friend were having a lovely tea party?
Well William is…
“Irrational,” Rainbow Dash said.
“Hotheaded,” Applejack added.
“Rude,” Spike stated.
“Always cranky wanky!” Pinkie Pie giggled out.
“A Dinklepuff!” Fluttershy quietly exclaimed.
Six of them looked at Fluttershy.
“Sorry,” Fluttershy said.
Twilight sighed. “I digress...”
William, or Sir William as he forced other inhabitants to call him, was a ‘man’ who was difficult to get along with. Ponies better than Twilight, namely Celestia, had tried to get along with him, however he had a bad habit of telling ponies to ‘rut themselves’ with a fat… You get the idea. He also had a strange habit of calling inhabitants wenches for the most minute things. Rainbow Dash originally found it funny, that is until she was called one.
“Next time he does it I’ll buck him up!” Rainbow Dash quietly shouted.
Her head was pulled back to the bushes.
“Language!” Twilight firmly scolded. “And quiet!”
In spite of William’s behavior, Luna and William were having a merry time.
“So tell me,” Luna began from her spot, gracefully sipping a cup of tea, “How hast thou time been in Equestria?”
“'Tis been a trying time.” William said, setting his tea cup onto the table. “The maidens of these fair lands be'eth far too troublesome.”
“In what way?” Luna asked, curious as to what could have led him to such a conclusion.
“Like a common wench, the purple one raises thou derriere in the air for all to see. ” William said.
How did picking something up from the floor make her a wench!
“When the pink one was told about mine arrival and the circumstances which led to them,” William continued, “Thou wanted to try it. Thou said it ‘sounded thrilling’”
Within the bushes, the six of them looked at Pinkie Pie.
“What?” Pinkie Pie said. “Who wouldn’t want to touch a magical crystal tablet and be transported to another world.”
“You lack tact,” Rarity deadpanned.
Luna and William continued their conversation.
“Surely thou wouldst get along with Rainbow Dash.” Luna said. “She is an admirer of all that is violent. ‘Tis why we get along so well.”
“Thou makes for a decent training dummy, yet thou strikes art weak.” William said, sipping his tea a little too fast.
Applejack snorted.
“Oh yeah!” Rainbow Dash said. “What about you?”
“And what about the Applejack?” Luna asked.
“Too many apples, quite too many.” William said, slightly cringing.
“Verily?” Luna asked.
“Verily,” William confirmed.
Rainbow Dash burst out laughing, holding a hoof to her face to ensure the residents of the tea party would not notice her.
“But ‘tis what one would expect in these strange lands.” William said. “So how does thou be’eth?”
“A lot better now that thou is a merry friend of mine.” Luna said.
“’Tis not be’eth the best happenstances which we meet.” William said.
“Verily,” Luna confirmed. “’Tis odd when thou called me a wench for ‘wearing lingerie on thy feet.’”
William scoffed. “Surely thou must understand that thou’s royal accessories look as though ‘twas for lewd purposes.”
Luna laughed. “Thy royal accessories art of the fanciest sort. Coming from a long tradition of endowing oneselves with articles of clothing.” Luna took another sip of her tea, the temperature just right now that it had cooled down slightly. “’Tis why thou was given a hoof to thou chest.”
William laughed. “’Twas a good hoof.”
That’s another thing Twilight didn’t understand. How did getting hoofed from somepony make the two of them friends? That went against all the principals of friendship!
“’Tis been a joy to find one to the likes of mineself,” Luna said, smiling at William.
“In what manner?” William asked.
Luna sighed. “Thou has been catapulted throughout the ages as much as thyself.” Luna took another sip of tea. “No pony understands how odd it is to see how the ponies act. The stallions have long manes, the mares act stallionish. But thou has class!”
Pfft.
William rubbed his chin, contemplating. “’Tis true. The residents of these lands act very strange.”
“Verily,” Luna agreed.
“Verily,” William confirmed.
They both sipped their cup of tea.
William then leaned into Luna, their faces coming closer together. Wait, were they going to kiss?!
Everypony began pushing each other around, trying to get a better view of what exactly was happening.
“Stop moving around everypony!” Twilight quietly shouted. “I can’t see clearly through the binoculars with all this motion.”
Spike grabbed her binoculars with one claw. “It’s my turn.”
“No it’s mine!” Rarity said, reaching for the binoculars. “I haven’t gotten a turn.”
“Well neither ‘ave I!” Applejack said.
“Pinkie Pie had two turns!” Rainbow Dash added.
“Hey! You had three.” Pinkie Pie said.
The group became a rambunctious pit of rustling as they fought over the binoculars.
“My pie!” Pinkie Pie said all too loudly after a pie was knocked onto the ground.
The fight ended when Applejack was pushed a little too roughly by Rainbow Dash, resulting in her being pushed outside the bushes.
Luna and William looked at Applejack, while Applejack looked between the both of them.
“What wast thou doing in the bushes?” William asked.
“Um, nothing.” Applejack said, her eyes looking away from William.
“Surely thou jest,” Luna said, “Usually ponies art doing mischievous things when in bushes.”
Where did she get that idea from?
“”Twas in one of Twilight’s books,” Luna stated.
Hehe. Oops.
“Well uh, not me,” Applejack said, visibly sweating.
William squinted his eyes. “Then why ist thou sweating?”
“Uh,” Applejack began. “Uh… Uh…”
“’Twas my recollection that thou was on a friendship errand with the girls and Spike,” Luna said. She studied the bushes from where Applejack was forced out. “Surely thou did not go with our friends and stay in a bush.”
William focused very carefully on Applejack. Applejack looked back at him unable to look away.
Applejack finally snapped. “Ah can’t take this anymore! This is worse than a pig stuck in a haystack!” She then bolted.
Seems stress had gotten to Applejack, as she couldn’t even say one of her countryisms properly.
William arose from his chair and began approaching the bushes.
“It’s every mare for herself!” Rarity shouted.
The group of seven, now six, ran in opposite directions. However, Twilight was stuck in the middle of the group, and before she could run a hand grabbed her.
“Where is thou frolicking?” William said, pulling her closer to himself.
Twilight nearly went limp from fear. Rumors had spread of how he acted when he was angry.
“Twilight keep it in,” Luna said, noticing Twilight’s fear, “Do not soil thyself.”
“Still,” William began, “What doth be done to thou?”
“Let it go?” Twilight suggested.
From looks alone, both of them were unhappy with the answer.
Twilight shrank into herself. “What will you do to me?”
William shrugged. “Cut off thou hoof?”
Twilight went pale.
“Perhaps too much,” Luna said. She rubbed a hoof to her chin contemplating. “Surely there must be a better punishment.”
“Perhaps you could let me off, scott free?” Twilight asked.
William and Luna looked at Twilight as though she was a foal who said an idiotic thing.
“Surely thou crime should match the situation?” Luna said, her hoof rubbing growing more vigorous.
“Verily,” William agreed.
“So what is thou reason?” Luna asked, leaning into Twilight.
Twilight began sweating. “See when an extraterrestrial meets with a pony, there are certain acts with which the pony wants to engage in.”
“Twilight breath.” Luna said. “In then out.”
Twilight did a practiced breathing exercise. In and out, in and out, in and out. Until finally she was ready to speak again.
“Now, try again,” Luna said.
“What I was trying to say,” Twilight attempted a second time, “Is that I absolutely LOVE alien life forms. And I would absolutely love it if we could… You know.”
“’Tis sounds very much like rutting,” William stated, internally laughing at the situation.
“Verily,” Luna agreed.
Twilight blushed. “To put it simply…”
“Thou wishes to rut me.” William stated as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“What, NO!” Twilight said, dreadfully embarrassed.
Luna smiled, trying to make Twilight feel better. “’Tis natural for a mare to have need. Why I remember…”
“I JUST WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!” Twilight interrupted, shouting.
“Oh,” Luna said, surprised. “’Tis a fine thing to want. Then why is thou blushing?”
“Because I don’t want to rut Wil...” Twilight said.
William glared at Twilight.
“I meant Sir William.” Twilight continued “I don’t want to rut Sir William.”
“Verily?” Sir William asked.
“Verily. I mean yes.” Twilight said, relieved that the misunderstanding had been cleared up.
William laughed. And kept laughing. He was laughing for quite awhile.
“No,” William said.
“What?! Why?” Twilight said.
“Thou art the most troublesome.” William raised a finger. “Annoying,” Another finger raised.
“Oddest.” Another raised, “And lewdiest woman to ever grace thy presence,” He raised his last finger. “’Twould be better if thou presence stayed in thou house.”
William turned his back on Twilight, and motioned for Luna to leave.
“Come Lulu,” William said, “Thy tea party shall continue elsewhere.”
Twilight sniffled.
William began walking away, while Luna stayed still. He turned around when he heard the beginning of a sob. He probably thought what he said wouldn’t hurt Twilight’s feelings. Well it did.
Twilight began crying. “I tried so hard. I just wanted to be friends with you, even if you weren’t an alien. I thought somewhere deep inside there was a heart of gold, but I guess I was wrong. I even defended you when the citizens around town where gossiping about you.” She put her hoof down and began walking the opposite direction. “If you don’t want to be my friend that’s fine. But you don’t need to call me hurtful names.”
William shrugged.
“Apologize,” Luna said in a tone not brooking any sort of compromise.
Twilight turned around, not quite believing that the Mare of the Moon was standing up for her.
“What?” William asked, also not believing in it.
“Apologize,” Luna repeated. “’Twas my understanding that thou was harrased by the Twilight Sparkle, yet she speaks as though she has been nothing but helpful.”
“I even let him stay in my crystal castle,” Twilight said, adding fuel to the fire.
“So tell mine ears,” Luna began, “Has Twilight been accommodating of thou?”
“Yes, but…” William said, but was shortly interrupted.
“No buts! Apologize!” Luna said, standing on her tippy-hooves and getting right into William’s face.
“But…” William tried.
Luna eyes sharpened, ready to pounce William if he so much as breathed wrong.
“Fine.” William said. “’Twas an issue in judgment.”
“No,” Luna scolded. “Say ‘I am sorry.’”
William threw up his hands into the air. “Fine I am sorry.”
“Do you mean it?” Twilight asked.
William looked at Luna as though he was a kid getting a scolding from his parent. Just like a parent, Luna confirmed what to say next with a nod of her head.
William looked back at Twilight. “Yes.”
“And you’ll be her friend, right?” Luna stated more than asked.
William’s jaw nearly fell to the floor, but one look from Luna made him stop.
“Of course,” William said clenching his jaw.
Twilight hugged William. “I’m glad to be your new friend! I promise to be a good friend.”
“And next time,” Luna began, “Twilight is invited to the tea party.”
Author's Note
This is my first story on this website. Although I've read plenty of other stories on this site, I though I might give writing stories a try. Please let me know what you all think in the comments.
Thanks for reading!
