Dreamwalker's Tale: An Anthology

“They are three years old, Spike,” I told him as if that would answer everything.

He regarded me with the same mixture of mild bewilderment and intrigue as the daily crossword puzzle in our newspaper. “… so?”

We both took a sip from our respective drinks and smiled about our synchronized timing. I relished the sweetness, the flavor of cherry with a hint of lemon sourness and just the faintest aftertaste of alcohol. It was a mild drink, after all. Then I shrugged. “Some didn’t find a foalsitter in time. Rarity couldn’t just haul Pristine off to Canterlot now, could she? And Whisper can throw quite the tantrum if Fluttershy were even willing to hoof her over to somepony else.”

Spike groaned. He did it quietly, for which I was grateful, but I still felt bad. I looked around and noticed the few other patrons. None batted an eye. None cared. None even noticed, probably. We sat at the bar of the Lucky Clover, Berry was chatting away the lazy early evening hours with another guest of her refined establishment and no one here cared overly if Spike had difficulties dealing with me.

It had been a decent day so far. I woke up to the soft pitter-patter of rain against my window. While I despised waking up alone, I really had no reason to complain too much, seeing as it only happened every one in a while. And the rain further served to mollify my morning-persona. A good, hearty breakfast with Spike and I went off to the library to keep myself busy. Or so I thought.

It obviously did not work out as well as I had hoped. Every attempt to distract myself with reading failed. Until eventually, Spike took pity on me and decided that I needed some fresh air and a few other voices in my ear. A walk around town was admittedly nice and we kept chatting away about nonsense until eventually, our legs grew a little tired. We had the choice between a nice, calm park bench by the lake, with birds chirping in the background and only the occasional passerby. Or the Lucky Clover.

I liked Berry. Thinking about her was inspirational in a way. She had had such a rough time. Not just ‘a patch’ in her life, but years and years of… difficulties. Yet here she was. Damaged, maybe. But recovered, and recovering. It bespoke a strength that I found particularly admirable.

And Spike had once again decided that I needed other ponies around and therefore, the lake simply would not do.

“I know that,” he insisted and thereby forced me to stay on track, “and that wasn’t the question.”

His gaze bore into my skull. I could feel it, even though I intently stared at my glass. I swallowed that sigh in my throat. “They wanted to have a girls-get-together. Twilight invited me to come along, but… I don’t know. It didn’t feel right. They wanted this for so long. It’s really been a while since the gang came together like this. Sure, they have all the kids with them, but… you know… that’s fine…? It feels like parenthood is easing up on us anyway. Like… we’re slowly drifting into calmer waters after weathering the storm. I’m sure it’s just a breather before the teenage years come around and trouble will be brewing again. But honestly, I’m looking forward to consistent sleep again. For all the dissatisfaction I felt waking up alone, I have to admit that I really needed that full night. Not dreamwalking, not working, just… sleeping.”

He stared at me for a while longer before his gaze shifted attention to his drink again. He pondered taking a sip for a moment and decided against it before mumbling the dreaded phrase. “So you’re kinda glad they left you behind?”

There was an immediate response, almost like a reflex. Reluctance. “They didn’t ‘leave me behind’. They invited me, I politely declined and they left for a day trip without me. It’s not a big deal!” The fact alone that I got this defensive within a matter of a second was enough. He did not even need to point that out. He just smirked. And I sighed. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” he claimed with a smile and softly punched my shoulder. The gesture coaxed a smile from my own lips in return. “Everyone needs a break every now and then. Some time to recuperate. You’re awful at doing that. Looking after yourself, I mean. So I’m just glad I can help, really.”

I snorted in amusement and took a decent swig from my glass. “So that’s what this is? You looking after me?”

Spike laughed. Due to his size, it was a decent bellow that reverberated throughout my body. Almost felt like a massage, which was a weird comparison that made me chuckle silently. “Well, I’ve been told alcohol helps ease nerves.”

He was not wrong about that. I did feel more at ease, despite only having one glass with barely any in it. Or maybe it was the setting that calmed me down. Or the company. Or all of it.

Whatever it was, it made me smile. A strong, fond smile. “You’re the best, buddy.”

He grinned confidently. “You know it.” We sipped again, synchronized, and chuckled about it.

Neither of us minded much when Berry Punch came over. “It’s time,” she said quietly. Or at least as quietly as the ambient noise let her without drowning out her words. So this spontaneous visit was not about refilling our drinks or offering new ones.

Berry had issues. We knew that. Everypony in town knew that. And everypony tried to show support and help her in subtle ways. A favor she returned in kind. She knew I did not feel comfortable with crowds. As the hours went by, the Lucky Clover became livelier. More ponies showed up. More patrons. I looked behind us and noticed how several of the formerly empty tables had filled with them. I noticed how the bar itself had a few more customers sitting and sipping their drinks. It was not rowdy. It never got rowdy until the late, late evening hours. But it felt packed. Crammed.

Talking to Spike was nice. Nice enough to ignore the rising tide of conversational noise. Nice enough to simply blend all that out. There were no other ponies. Despite this behavior, I still agreed with Spike that getting out and coming to places like this was necessary from time to time. I just had a difficult time doing it by myself.

“Thanks, Berry,” I replied. I folded the napkin in front of me and gave Berry her pencil back. I had scribbled down some vague ideas for Twilight's next Hearth's Warming Eve present and intended to take them home with me to work on it later. I turned my attention to Spike.

He shrugged. “Throwaway.”

I nodded, we grabbed our drinks and emptied whatever was left in there in one fell swoop. Spike handled his liqueur way better than I did mine. A series of quiet coughs later I noticed him grinning. “Don’t!” I warned him, but he snickered anyway. “It’s just the sweetness. If it hits you all at once, it’s a tad much,” I tried to defend myself against accusations that had never been voiced. Spike did not stop snickering. He merely nodded in fake agreement. I grimaced and punched his shoulder, which only served to make him snicker a little bit louder. “Oh forget it! Let’s just go,” I relented.

I forked over a couple of bits for our drinks and a hefty extra. Because I liked Berry. And she was always nice to us. We came here, sat around for hours and only ordered two drinks. Two drinks we sipped on for ages. Sure, we came by at hours when business was running slow and we therefore did not really take up precious seats, but it still felt right. The tip was enough to account for five times as many drinks.

We stepped outside. First thing I noticed was the dark sky. A few clouds drifted around here and there, but for the most part, it was an open display of Luna’s beauty. We had missed sunset. Twinkling stars captured my attention for a minute or two before some strange noise pulled me back down to the ground. “What was that?”

Spike apparently had heard it too. “I don’t know. Sounded weird. Let’s go take a look?”

I nodded and we went off. We threaded the needle, weaving our way through tighter alleys and along unofficial trails. The closer we got to the commotion, the clearer it became that there was trouble brewing. What we heard… were ponies yelling.

And running.

And screaming.

Our steps quickened.

Spike walked in front of me and stopped abruptly before he walked onto the proper street. I bumped into his backside, tried and failed to get a glimpse of whatever had made him stop while he peeked around the corner. I looked the other way and saw that the streets had been cleared almost entirely. The few ponies I could still see were trying to get away. Fast.

“What’s going on?” I whispered forcefully. Another monster attack was the obvious suspect.

“Who are these guys?!” Spike asked himself quietly.

I gave him a little shove and peeked around the corner of the house we were hiding behind. Within a few seconds, my blood froze and my mind came to a screeching halt. Only for my heart to speed up. I felt strangely sober now.

Storm guards. What the heck? “What are they doing here?!” I watched as a pack of four held a stallion down and forced him to take a good look at a… wanted poster or something? They used as much force to keep him in place as he made them, but were not overly cruel or inflicted more pain and force than necessary. Which told me: They were after something.

“D-Derpy… that’s D-Derpy,” I heard the guy stutter, his eyes wide in fear.

Or after somepony.

“You know these guys?” Spike asked.

I quickly pulled back behind the corner — and pulled Spike with me. “They are trouble. Big trouble.” My mind was racing. What to do? The presence of storm guards could only be explained decently in a few ways. Maybe some kind of portal. Which meant a theoretically infinite number of reinforcements. Or airships. Which meant a limited number of reinforcements, but still more than Ponyville could handle with our usual main defenders currently absent. And it meant an unknown amount of technologically advanced weaponry I had limited to no knowledge about.

I concluded that it would not serve me well to summon my armor and get into the thick of it. I was the only guard in Ponyville. This could not end well, it would only paint a target on my flank.

Our usual main defenders, a voice in the back of my head echoed.

I dared to peek around the corner again. The stallion pointed in a direction. Our direction. Not at us specifically, but down the road. Towards Derpy’s house. I grimaced as I noticed the unfortunate timing. The storm guards might have seen me.

And Spike, once I noticed that his head poked around the corner as well. Dangit!

That left us very little time. It mattered little if they had seen us or if they decided to come down the road. This was most likely not the only group in town. “Cut me,” I ordered Spike.

He looked at me like I had gone mad. And hesitated. While I did not mind the former, the latter was a problem. I grabbed his claws in my telekinesis and placed them on my forehoof. “I need blood, not too deep!”

“But what—“

“Spike!” I snapped at him.

A brief jolt of pain ran up my leg as he quickly scratched over my hoof. I put the napkin against the wall of the house and started to scribble. ‘Attack! Storm Guards are’ was all I managed before a sudden jolt of green flame seemingly burned the napkin to ash. A wisp of smoke traveled away and told me otherwise. I whirled around and was about to chide Spike that I had not been done and ready, but he pushed me behind his back. It quickly became apparent why.

They stood there, all four of them, and Spike built himself up as the fearsome defender that he could be.

Black and heavy metal armor covered several sensitive areas of their body. A plushy collar of white fur protected their necks. Two of them wore rhomboid black metal shields and what appeared to be lances. One had no obvious weapon and the fourth one held two jagged daggers.

“Spike, don’t mess around,” I whispered quietly. I did not know if they would dare to seriously hurt him. I only knew that the probability of my friend getting injured — or worse — rose considerably the more resistance he offered.

The storm guard troop started to surround us wordlessly — at least as far as they could, given that we stuck to the alleyway. Spike did not let any of them out of sight. “You know what you have to do,” he cryptically claimed.

And then all Tartarus broke loose.

With a mighty roar, Spike sprung into action. He lunged forward, grabbed the Storm Guard with the two daggers and threw him into the wall of a house on the other side of the street. At the same time, his tail lashed out and swept one of the shield-bearers from his legs. The other two however were quick to react. I was torn between intervening, fighting alongside my friend, and retreating.

Because I knew Spike could win this.

And I knew it would mean nothing.

The guy without obvious weapons already took a few steps back and blew a horn. I was not quick enough to grab it. The signal would attract more of them. And Spike would get overwhelmed eventually.

Derpy.

I grimaced. “Don’t get killed!” I demanded from him, turned around and ran. I heard the fighting in the increasing distance behind me as, probably, more guards joined in.

I knew the way to Derpy's house by heart. I had been there so many times in the last decade that she sometimes joked I should just have a toothbrush in her bathroom.

I had no idea what they wanted from her. I could make a couple of reasonable assumptions, but I had no true evidence. I frantically looked around as I barreled down the streets of Ponyville and I finally noticed it. Right in front of Twilight's castle, high up in the air and anchored to the ground with a few thick looking chains. A Storm Empire airship.

How had these sneaky bastards made it all the way here without being spotted by a random pegasus or a patrol or anyone else?!

Open door policy, a snarky voice in the back of my head answered unbidden. We don’t really have ‘border patrols’, do we? Our lovely Sunny employs the same policy for Equestria as Twilight does for her castle. Too many guards make the neighbors twitchy.

I ignored the biting remark as best as I could and transformed the annoyance I felt into added energy in my hooves. They carried me towards my destination at breakneck speed, yet the closer I came, the more I heard the same sounds — those of fighting and yelling, fleeing and screaming — from other parts of the town.

This was a small-scale invasion, then.

As soon as Derpy's house came into view, I noticed a couple of other ponies running at top speed in the same direction. Were the situation not as dire as it seemed, it would have been a heartwarming moment, really. I recognized a few faces, but not all of them. Yet they all tried to warn Derpy.

At least that’s what you assume.

I lit my horn brightly to get their attention and signaled them to scatter. And luckily, enough of them recognized me in return and followed my command. They swerved widely and barreled away in different directions while I barely slowed down on the last few feet before I hit the door. Literally.

I caught my breath as quickly as I could manage and hastily slipped inside.

What I found should not have surprised me as much as it did. Derpy sat on her couch, fully engrossed in a book. A small lamp on a side table spent enough light. A bowl with peeled and pre-cut carrot sticks sat on the table before the couch, half empty. The air faintly smelled of hot cocoa and spicy tea. I saw no pot, but an empty cup. Knowing Derpy, the pot probably rested in the kitchen next door, still on the shut off stove so the rest heat could keep it warm a little longer.

When I barged in like I did, she looked up and seemed utterly confused. “Dreamwalker? Uh… hi?”

“Derpy, hide!” I commanded and immediately got to work. While I did not exactly have a plan as such, I at least had an idea. Which I assumed was already more than any of the other ponies that had made their way over here had.

I briskly walked over into the dark kitchen and flipped the light switch. A quick application of telekinesis later and the kitchen door was locked. A small part of me took great satisfaction from seeing the kettle on the stove, but I dared not to linger too long. I walked over to the living room again and flipped the main lights on in addition to her small little lamp.

Derpy grimaced due to the sudden and unexpected flood of light. I did not fail to notice how she had not moved an inch. Because of course she did not. She was confused. And I was not giving her any answers. Instead I behaved most curiously.

With the lights in the kitchen and living room on, I checked the broom closet for windows. There were none, so there was no point in flipping the lights on. I did switch on the lights in the hallway, though. And shut them off again after a moment of contemplation. That would only have invited strange questions that were most likely hard to answer. It would not help my case.

When I returned to the living room, I quickly pondered if I should head upstairs. But there was only the bathroom and the bedrooms up there. I tried to remember if I had seen light coming from upstairs when I ran here, but could not quite tell. It had been a bit of a blur.

“Dreamwalker, you’re scaring me.” Her voice wavered very slightly.

My mind picked up on it immediately anyway. I shook my head to free myself from that daze I had sunk into and looked at her. The book was still lying in front of her, open and yet discarded. Her whole body was tense. Her wings rustled slightly. She was all kinds of nervous. My gaze briefly drifted towards the door, then scanned the entire room for decent hiding places.

I knew the interior. No cupboards or closets large enough. The closets upstairs might do, but a gut feeling told me that it would be best if she hid here, not upstairs. Because they would surely search upstairs. In great detail.

I remembered the chest the same moment I laid eyes on it. It was large. Huge, even. Made from bast. It would be quite uncomfortable to stay in there for a prolonged time, but it was a decent quick fix. And a quick fix was all we needed, I hoped.

“Get in there!”

She stood up and stomped her hoof down onto the floor. The noise itself made me cringe. “No!” she replied resolutely. “Please, can’t you answer me?” Derpy pleaded.

We don’t have time. Just shove her in!

I grimaced. She was my friend. A good friend, too. I would not—

She deserved better.

I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed. “A few years ago, Luna and I went to mount Aris and captured Tempest Shadow. Remember that?” She nodded, although it was obvious that she had no idea what that had to do with anything. All Tartarus broke loose out there and she had no idea. She just spent a nice, quiet evening at home, with a few snacks and a good book. Well — until recently, I had spent a nice evening at a bar with my buddy. I hope he’s okay. I swallowed and forced myself to move on. “I thought the Storm King would give up on his invasion plans after losing his prized general. But then the whole misery with the Friendship Festival happened and honestly, it seems he had already invested too much into this to give up on it. There’s an airship floating by the castle and storm guards are combing through the town as we speak. They are searching for you. You specifically. They have your face on wanted posters or something.”

As expected, Derpy only got more nervous. “What? B-But… why me?”

I had asked that myself on my way here. I had no satisfying answer. None that was satisfying to me, at least. “Well you did kind of foil his plans at the Friendship Festival a few years ago…” It had been a bold move. To sneak a single airship under the cover of rogue clouds across all of Equestria, right to the nations beating heart in Canterlot, and then try to not only disrupt the celebration, but to capture all princesses in one go. A bold move, but ultimately a foolish one as well. One might think that, after everything that happened with Nightmare Moon, Lord Tirek, Queen Chrysalis and King Sombra, that these villains might take notice and learn a thing or two about who not to mess with.

Maybe it was pride that made them try and try and try again. Maybe it was sheer arrogance. Obviously they would succeed where all the others had failed. Or maybe it was the allure of the unattainable. Conquering Equestria seemed impossible. So everyone felt enticed even more to try.

Whatever it was, it mattered little now.

Derpy was scared. She knew little about the nature of this enemy. Only that I had barged in here as if the world was coming to an end. Really, the slight tremor I saw in her legs was my fault. I should have been more aware of what I was communicating with my behavior.

“But… but that was an accident!” she objected.

I sighed and walked over to her. And I pulled her into a hug. She trembled a little and I tried my best to calm her down. I stroked a hoof through her strawy mane and down her back. I held her tight. And I tried to calm down in hopes that any calmness I might manage to capture could be conveyed to her as well. “And it was a lucky one for sure,” I agreed. “But I doubt that he knows that. Don’t worry though. I was with Spike before I came here. He managed to get a message out to Twilight. They should arrive any minute now, we just need to play for time. And I have an idea.”

“And for that you need me to climb into my chest?” she asked with uncertainty in her voice.

I chuckled. When said aloud, it did sound ridiculous. Like something out of a comedy. “Eyupp.”

A brief, soft and quiet giggle followed. It was a marvel how Derpy always managed to pick herself up again so quickly. The world could literally dance along the edge of total annihilation. She would find something to smile about. It was incredible. And this? This was not even such a dire scenario. This was just Ponyville's regular Tuesday.

We walked over to the chest, opened it up and emptied a few bits and pieces she had stored inside. I levitated most of the junk onto the table, some other pieces over to shelves and a neat little pile next to the stairs that lead up. It helped sell the whole ‘currently moving’-spiel I was aiming for. Or at least I hoped it would.

Derpy had more than enough space inside. “You comfy?” I asked. She nodded and I closed the chest. And put an assortment of books on top. It did not make the chest smaller, but it hopefully made it look less like an impromptu hiding spot.

I walked over to the couch. Now began the really tense and trying part. I had to wait. Maybe nothing would happen. Maybe no one would come. Only one way to find out. I settled on the couch, grabbed a carrot stick and hesitated. I was so incredibly nervous that the smell alone made my stomach churn. The thought of biting down on it, chewing, swallowing, it was all a little much and I felt sick. So I levitated it over to the chest and, with some generous application of telekinesis towards both the books and the chest's lid, snuck the snack inside. A barely audible giggle made me feel a little bit better.

And then they came.

No knocking announced them. Neither friendly, nor forceful. No, the door simply broke down. Small splinters of wood from the doorframe flew into the room when they broke the lock. It made me genuinely jump. A group of four storm guards entered the living room, their bulky bodies seemed to fill more space than the room could offer. Or maybe it was the expectation of failure that made me suffocate a little.

Channel your inner Rarity. Come on, you’ve learned a lot from her, for better or worse.

I grabbed the book and held it in front of me like a shield. A very lousy shield. None of the soldiers immediately went for an attack, which was good. A possibility I had not even accounted for. I just stared at them out of wide eyes while they took stock of what they could see in the living room.

“Where is she?” one of them asked.

“W-Who?” I managed a convincing stutter.

“Don’t waste our time, pony! The one who lives here!” the apparent leader growled.

“T-This is my h-house?” I offered.

“Then where’s your wife? Daughter? Aunt? What do we care, where is Derpy?!” he snarled. “This is her house!”

I retreated half a step from the couch, the book still held up in levitation like a shield. They did not advance on me. They did not feel threatened in the slightest, it seemed. That said, one of them was sent with a simple sign to check the hallway and another checked the kitchen. They quickly returned, finding both rooms empty. “O-Oh, u-uhm… it m-makes sense that the other ponies told you that, she lived here for ages, until recently, actually, b-but she’s moved out half a week ago.”

The leader of the group looked around the room once more. The lights were on. The snacks in the bowl. The book I held up. He tried to read the title, but I apparently held it upside down. He eventually noticed the framed pictures of Derpy with her friends and family. Me being one of the former, of course.

“Moved out…” he echoed in a voice that not only made clear that he did not buy it, but at the same time threatened me with very painful consequences should I choose to lie to him further.

But what choice did I have?

I had seen a single airship. Enough to stir up trouble, sure. But not enough to overwhelm Ponyville. Not enough to occupy the town, given it was defenseless. Sure as Tartarus not enough to have sufficient numbers on board to defeat Twilight. As such, this was another sneaky maneuver. It had to be. They were here for a smash and grab. And it had become obvious what they intended to grab. I could not just let them leave with Derpy. Celestia knew what they would do to her.

So I shyly rubbed my foreleg with the other one and retreated another half-step. Because these were very intimidating big guys threatening me in my own living room. I tried to become smaller. It made perfect sense. “Y-Yes? S-She hasn’t gotten all of her things out yet, it’s been a bit of a c-chaotic week… we tried to live together for a while, but that d-didn’t work out as we had h-hoped, then parasprites ate the westside of her new h-house and the repairs took longer due to the scheduled rain two days a-ago and yesterday s-she—“

“Enough!” yelled the leader.

My mouth snapped shut immediately and my eyes widened a little further. I retreated a full step.

“What in Tartarus?” came another voice. An unexpected, yet familiar one. It made me grimace so hard.

Stay in the chest, stay in the chest, stay in the chest, please, Derpy, stay in the gosh-darn chest!, I prayed. My eyes were drawn towards the stairs. Dinky stood on the lower ones and regarded the intruders with a mixture of awe and confusion. She had no idea who or what these guys were. And I, shame on me, had absolutely forgotten all about her.

She had been upstairs the entire time. And the ruckus this glorified walking punching bag made drew her ire. Or her curiosity. It was hard to tell with teenagers.

“Sorry, honey,” I started quickly in an attempt to wrestle back control over the situation. I just had to hope that she would pick up on it and play along. Dinky was a smart filly. “We seem to have some foreign guests who surely didn’t mean to wake you up…” I gestured for Dinky to come over to me. Those brutes would not let her go back upstairs. That much was obvious. They eyed the stairs themselves as if they were traitors, deserving of being burned.

Dinky remained on the stairs for a couple of tense seconds longer, bewildered and confused, before she sighed, shrugged and trotted over. “It’s okay, dad. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep while doing homework anyway.”

I sighed deeply — internally. When she came to my side, I hugged her. Both to hug her, and to pull her as close to me as I could. The intruders had not cared about the chest at all so far, but they eyed Dinky in a manner that made my skin crawl and my hair stand on end.

“That’s your daughter?” the leader asked in apparent disbelief. “You think us idiots, pony?”

Well, yes, of course.

I ignored the snarky voice and went for a more diplomatic approach. Even if it was not more diplomatic by a large margin, frankly. “You never heard of adoption, you uncouth brute?!” I spat. I put as much vitriol into those two words as I could muster. And I sent a silent thank you in Rarity's direction. Wherever she was right now, I owed her one.

My sudden shift in attitude caused some interesting reactions. Amusing, even.

“They do both have horns,” one of the soldiers noted.

“What does ‘uncouth’ mean? And what’s a parasprite?” another asked quietly. No one answered him.

“I wish I had been adopted,” the third murmured.

All good reactions. Good for me, that is. The leader was seething, that was visible to me. But I had to draw this out. So I decided to answer the last one. “Well, Equestria had some interesting recent changes in law. I’m sure you could get full citizenship if you applied? And adoption is always an option, you know?”

“Silence!” the leader bellowed to shut me down. He advanced on me a couple of steps and I shoved Dinky behind me out of honest worry about her safety. “None of us would associate with weakling ponies like you!”

Associate. Uhhh. Big word for such a small head.

I grimaced. Please shut up. This is difficult enough as it is. As no answer followed, I focused my attention on the leader of the soldiers again. “T-This is a c-common misconception, y-you know? The g-griffons thought so t-too… and the d-dragons… and the y-yaks… but we’re not so weak, you know? But you’ll learn that in time, the others did, too.” I tried to put up a little pride for him to see. Just enough to lure him into talking. Into a verbal assault, to aim for the annihilation of whatever confidence I had.

And it seemed to work. He advanced another few steps and now stood right before me. A looming, towering presence. His full bulk blocked the sight of his underlings. His armor gleamed, polished to perfection and only besmirched by… tiny little splatters of…

I forbid myself from drawing the obvious conclusion. It was just little splotches anyway. Nothing to get upset about, right? And it was dry. Maybe old. Maybe from somewhere else. As if that mattered.

“Oh?” he growled quietly and leaned down to let me get a proper look at his teeth. “So what? You’re gonna teach me now, little pony?”

He was eager to hear any form of ‘yes’. Eager to stop talking and let actions speak. A thing I had to circumvent as best as I could for as long as I could. “N-No,” I replied and tried to backpedal a little further. There was a wall though. So I at least tried to keep Dinky between me and the wall. “I am weak, b-but we managed to send a signal a-and…” I thought I heard something. So did he, it seemed, as his expression shifted slightly to something resembling alarm. “A-and you guys are totally screwed if you don’t retreat immediately!”

He did not like me talking back. He raised up to his full height and raised a fist, ready to strike. And he probably would have. I already braced for impact. I intended to take the first hit and try to talk again, hoping that his strength was not enough to knock me out immediately. But then he hesitated. Because he heard the noise again. And so did I.

A faint thunder.

Boom, it went again. Boom. Faint, but drawing closer. The thunder rolled in in quicker succession. It — she — came closer.

I had won.

I allowed myself a satisfied grin and smirked at him. “Told you. Cavalry has arrived, you guys are toast.”

He considered beating the ever-loving crap out of me for a second longer before he turned heel. Apparently he was a pragmatic type. He barked orders to his soldiers to retreat to the airship and as soon as he stomped out of the house, he barked further orders to other groups of soldiers. Apparently they had surrounded the building and now they scrambled to get some sort of defense in place.

A storm is coming.

I could feel it. A giddiness in my veins. A prickly sensation right beneath my skin. I could almost smell the ozone. But no matter how spectacular this would be, I had quite a few important tasks to care for and no time to watch with a bowl of carrot sticks. Wasn’t even my bowl anyway.

I grabbed Dinky with my magic around her barrel and lifted the teenager up. “H-Hey!”

I ignored her objection and hugged her for a brief moment. “You did great, pipsqueak!”

She giggled in reply. I was the only one allowed to call her that. Given the teenage mood swings she sometimes had, this was a miracle all by itself. I quickly carried her over to the chest, levitated the books up into the air and opened the lid. “She’s fine,” I immediately told Derpy as she looked up. “And we want to keep it that way.” I put Dinky into the chest. Her mom hugged her tightly to herself.

I looked around the room. They had not searched the entire house. They had not found Derpy. But they were about to get into genuine combat. So far, their entire mission was going sideways, threatening to end in failure, if not a huge disaster. How likely was it that some cunning officer tried to be sneaky? The one I had spoken to especially? I was pretty sure that I had given away my entire spiel there at the end by dropping all pretense.

Better not to be found at all, I told myself, shrugged and climbed into the chest as well. It was a tad cozy for two and a half ponies in there. The lid barely closed. And it was uncomfortable. Very much so, especially for Derpy. I decided I would offer her a spa visit once this thing was over, but I crammed myself in there anyway.

Boom.

“Is that a sonic rainboom?” Dinky asked.

I grinned from ear to ear. “Eyupp.” Maybe it was, maybe it was not. As far as I knew, a sonic rainboom could only be heard once, which did not quite fit with what we currently heard. But maybe Rainbow did some fancy maneuvering or whatever. We had no surefire way to tell. “Rainbow arrives first because she’s the fastest, and she will kick their flanks into next week before the others arrive and join in.”

We waited. Ten seconds passed. Thirty. Two minutes. “Why are we still in here?” Derpy asked quietly.

“I suspect they are still monitoring the house,” I whispered back. “I don’t want you two to get caught. And I don’t want to get caught either.”

That seemed to make enough sense that she nodded. Another minute passed and we suddenly heard one of the storm guards outside yell “fire!” A second later, the deafening roar of a cannon sounded and our world shook and trembled. I clamped down on Dinky and Derpy, braced my back and tried to get them under me as best as I could. The impact of whatever ammunition they used seemed to rip straight through the entire house.

Had they aimed for the house? Was it just a ricochet shot from whatever battle Rainbow had started?

I heard the upper stories being obliterated. I heard the walls crack and burst, heard wood splinter, heard rubble fly everywhere. Dust was heavy in the air and small pieces of debris rained down onto the floor all around us. And on the chest, of course. Then the ceiling groaned under the weight of the rubble. Under the weight of the collapsed, destroyed upper story.

And parts of it gave way.

“Hold on tight,” I hissed and Derpy put her wings around Dinky as best as she could, given the tiny space we had to maneuver.

The filly screamed in a panic as more and more of the ceiling came crashing down around us. Eventually, I felt pieces of debris impact on the top of the chest and therefore my back. Judging by the sounds of it, the entire house collapsed.

My heart was racing. The blood rushing in my ears was so loud that I barely heard Dinky's terrified scream anymore. Her mother, though. Derpy did not scream. She held her little one tight. Her eyes firmly closed. And despite the dire situation, she seemed… almost relaxed.

“Oof,” I groaned as another heavy piece hit the chest. I felt that sharp sensation as something pierced the skin on my back. Pain ran up my spine, but I resisted the urge to shy away from it as best as I could. I tried to stem against the chest top instead. It would not do if I were to squish these two under me.

A few more seconds later, the noise finally started to subside. The cracking and crumbling was still audible, but it slowed down. It got quieter. Until only the occasional crack could be heard.

“I need out, I need air!” Dinky started to mumble. She was still very much panicked. She pawed at the chests walls, tried to get away from her mother, tried to worm her way out from under me, but there was simply no room to escape to. She coiled and contorted herself more and more until I realized that she would eventually hurt herself this way.

So I put what strength I had into my legs and lifted the lid of the chest again. I felt disgust as my mind was swamped with pain and the feeling of skin tearing and something sticky running along my side.

“Are you okay?” Derpy asked as I grunted.

“I think that last piece had a nail in it or something,” I replied.

I managed to lift the rubble on top of the chest enough that there was a gap. Derpy held Dinky tightly, but lifted her up so that she could breathe and see.

We could all see now.

The living room was a mess. What we had heard was indeed matched by what we saw now. Most of the walls of the ground floor still stood, but the vast majority of the upper level was just… gone. Partially reduced to rubble that coated everything we could see in the living room and partially spewed onto the other houses and surrounding streets as if someone had popped a very disappointing pinata.

We heard a very angry sounding “Yeeehaw!” from outside. Close by to the house, actually. And a couple of seconds later, something both soft and hard heavily impacted on the front door. Just once.

Then Rainbow flew in through the non-existent ceiling. “Sweet Celestia, wow, what? Everypony alright in here?”

Derpy spoke up before I could answer. “They drew blood!” she yelled.

“What?!” Rainbow yelled right back in sheer outrage.

I was too rattled and confused. Had I not managed to avoid any physical altercation?

“He’ll be fine, I’ll take care of him,” Derpy promised. “But could you please let them know that I’m not okay with this? Also, they destroyed my house!”

“Oh, I will!” Rainbow answered, followed by an angry snort. And just like that, she was gone again. She flapped her wings once, and a gust of wind blew a cloud of dust up.

I coughed a few seconds, as did the other two. “Sorry about your house,” I wheezed. On a rational level, I knew that I was not at fault there. I had not manned that cannon. I had not aimed it at this house. I probably could not have avoided this outcome.

Or could I?

I sighed. It was always the same.

Derpy simply smiled however, and stroked a hoof down Dinky's back to help her calm down further. “It’s fine,” she replied, “after all, that’s only the sixth time I have to rebuild. Some others had to rebuild over a dozen times in the last two decades, so I’m already getting off easy here.” Her smile soured a little as her gaze wandered around her formerly pristine and cozy living room and eventually landed on the partially intact staircase. “I’m just glad Dinky wasn’t upstairs anymore.”

I ruffled Dinky's mane. She had herself back under control and did not try to flee. Claustrophobia, I suspected. How and why, I could not tell. Something to keep in mind for later, should such a situation ever arise again. Hopefully, it would not.

“Alright, seems like the fighting has relocated more towards the castle,” Derpy noted. “Time to get you fixed up. Twilight would be cross with me if I delivered you bruised and beaten. That would only prove that you cannot be left unattended, not even for half a day.”

That got an honest to earth chuckle out of me. I dutifully climbed out of the chest, helped the other two out as well, cleared the couch from rubble, dust and debris as much as I could while Derpy fetched her first aid kit from the kitchen and then I sat down so she could fix me up.

The disinfectant burned like the flames of Tartarus. Because I was kind of a wimp.

While Derpy worked her magic, my mind turned to another matter entirely and my thoughts quickly coaxed a sigh out of me. “You don’t happen to have a couple of decent Hearth's Warming Eve present ideas for Twilight, do you? I fear I might have spoiled all my recent ones when I sent them her way on a napkin…”