Tales from the Equestrian Postal Service

Tales from the Equestrian Postal Service:

The Meeting of Minds Mares and Muffins…

It was a stormy night in Equestria over the town of Ponyville, the local weather team who despite gallant efforts had failed to prevent it from developing and lost all control being forced to beat a hasty retreat.

The massive weather front raged through the small town of Ponyville as its inhabitants stayed safe indoors blissfully unaware of the rain soaked staggering stranger who made their way towards the only light they could see through the wind and rain.

As the cloaked figure in stereotypical fashion looked about as one does in these situations they promptly got rain in their eyes.

As the figure staggered about trying to wipe it away they smacked into a lamp post lost track of where they were standing and ended up at the next door instead.

Still caught up trying to clear their vision the stumbling figure hastily banged on the door in front of them hard before awkwardly unhitching a bundle from underneath the cloak.

Laying the bundle on the step before them the stranger disappeared into the night as a crack of light came from the doorway; the bundle was discovered and taken inside…

As the light from the doorway illuminated the darkness the sign hanging out from the building could be seen as could the one next door, the first read ‘Equestrian Postal Service’ the other ‘Ponyville Orphanage’.

Big Package stood his mane wet from sticking his head outside the door to retrieve the bundle.

“Hey Big Package who was the nut at the door…?”

The young stallion closed the door with little effort despite the gale force winds, this due to his immense size and strength for his young age, moving to a nearby table stacked with post office literature and cheap gifts he swept the lot to the floor and placed the bundle onto it.

The speaker a kindly looking much older mare made her way to his side and as the pair looked on the bundle shifted slightly and from it popped a small rounded face that giggled, then burped and finally started crying.

The two ponies slowly looked at each other then to the young Pegasai foal emerging from the bundle and only when said small grey pony sneezed staggered and fell off the table did they leap into confused action.

Confused that is mostly by trying to work out which way the foal had been looking…

Sixteen years later…

A glorious day awaited that same grey Pegasai as she proudly flew out of the window at school onto her new life as the new mail mare of Ponyville; her teacher however was left wishing she’d opened it first...

The stallion of her dreams had just proposed and in total opposite to her usual bad luck that followed any and all that knew her, had just landed the job of a lifetime as a gardener for the richest and most elite.

One year later…

That poor Pegasai mare was rubbing a large belly in despair as she watched the father’s coffin sink into the empty grave, a victim of a bizarre incident whilst gardening involving a bucket of tar, chicken feathers and a bunch of drunken lords and gentry on an annual duck hunt.

Her best friend Carrot Top next to her vowing to help her, she continues on as the unluckiest mare in Ponyville who delivers the mail.

Three years later…

Being an orphan single mother and deciding to add to the family minus the heartbreak…

…The intrepid if slightly unusual mare adopts a young earth pony of about thirteen years and continues on as the mail mare of Ponyville.

A little after that…

A young grey Pegasai mare made her way through the streets of Ponyville as it hustled and bustled along on a bright sunny day in high summer.

Dodging carts and ponies the young mare with large brown saddle bags on her back made her way towards her goal nearly tripping over three young fillies that raced past her laughing.

Escaping no doubt from an irate looking orange earth pony and what looked like a white unicorn covered in glue and glitter who was screaming blue murder about her mane.

Reaching the address that she had written on a scrap of paper in her teeth she was dismayed to find an empty lot with a for sale sign stuck forlornly in the middle of it.

Not defeated the mare tried the next building over for help…

After all it was a post office…

Checking the address one more time the grey mare looked again at the street sign and the number above the doors of the buildings each side of the lot and sighed, pushing the door in front of her she stepped inside.

The post office was small and cramped with a table in one corner and a counter at the far end with shelves on each wall arrayed with all the finery of cheap toys useless gifts and novelty mugs.

In between the mare and the counter stood a long line of very upset looking ponies at the front of which a pony stood berating one of two ponies behind the counter in front of which had a sign on which was written 'complaints'.

As the grey mare made her way past the queue she made a beeline for the other pony sat on the other end of the counter who strangely had no customers and was sat gently sipping a cup of tea.

The older mare didn’t even look up as she silently reached down and retrieved what looked like saddlebags full of mail and dumped them on the grey mares back unintentionally on top of the ones already there.

Before the grey mare could complain or even react a bunch of papers were stuffed into her mouth followed by the older mare squinting at her and then cocking her head before clicking her tongue and returning to her tea.

Confused…?

She was that…

…But not as confused as when she turned to face the pony who had been tapping repeatedly on her shoulder as she stared at the older mare drinking tea who hadn’t noticed her confusion…

For a moment the two young grey Pegasai Mares faced each other before the first grey mare spat out the bunch of papers and ignoring the assembled gasps plus the older mare dropping her tea cup she spoke…

“Hi… I’m Ditzy… Ditzy Doo…”

The second young grey mare shook her head her eyes seemingly observing the one called Ditzy from all angles as they shifted in whichever direction they pleased.

“Derpy… I’m Hooves…”

“I… Mean… I’m Derpy… …Hooves.”

As the older mare fainted at the thought of two of the grey mares Big Package poked his head out of the door of the rear and upon sighting the pair blinked then after a quick prayer just said…

“Ah... Horse-feathers... Now it'll be double the fun round here…”

Wondering what it would take to extend the complaints desk and how much it would cost to hire an extra pony to work it, Big Package retreated out the back leaving all concerned still speechless as the two mares eyed each other up.