Tales from the Equestrian Postal Service

by Paganbrony666

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 3893

When a foal is mistankenly left at the wrong door it leads to a reunion that will change everything.

On a stormy night a foal is left on the wrong doorstep and after many years have passed does a familiar looking stranger hold the key to unlocking an unfortunate past and new beginnings for the orphan…?

Will those involved ever get used to seeing double or will past tragedies destroy the chance for a new future?

And what does it take to make a new life in Ponyville when every pony in town keeps getting your name wrong?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-07 00:45:10 UTC

The Meeting of Minds Mares and Muffins…

Tales from the Equestrian Postal Service:

The Meeting of Minds Mares and Muffins…

It was a stormy night in Equestria over the town of Ponyville, the local weather team who despite gallant efforts had failed to prevent it from developing and lost all control being forced to beat a hasty retreat.

The massive weather front raged through the small town of Ponyville as its inhabitants stayed safe indoors blissfully unaware of the rain soaked staggering stranger who made their way towards the only light they could see through the wind and rain.

As the cloaked figure in stereotypical fashion looked about as one does in these situations they promptly got rain in their eyes.

As the figure staggered about trying to wipe it away they smacked into a lamp post lost track of where they were standing and ended up at the next door instead.

Still caught up trying to clear their vision the stumbling figure hastily banged on the door in front of them hard before awkwardly unhitching a bundle from underneath the cloak.

Laying the bundle on the step before them the stranger disappeared into the night as a crack of light came from the doorway; the bundle was discovered and taken inside…

As the light from the doorway illuminated the darkness the sign hanging out from the building could be seen as could the one next door, the first read ‘Equestrian Postal Service’ the other ‘Ponyville Orphanage’.

Big Package stood his mane wet from sticking his head outside the door to retrieve the bundle.

“Hey Big Package who was the nut at the door…?”

The young stallion closed the door with little effort despite the gale force winds, this due to his immense size and strength for his young age, moving to a nearby table stacked with post office literature and cheap gifts he swept the lot to the floor and placed the bundle onto it.

The speaker a kindly looking much older mare made her way to his side and as the pair looked on the bundle shifted slightly and from it popped a small rounded face that giggled, then burped and finally started crying.

The two ponies slowly looked at each other then to the young Pegasai foal emerging from the bundle and only when said small grey pony sneezed staggered and fell off the table did they leap into confused action.

Confused that is mostly by trying to work out which way the foal had been looking…

Sixteen years later…

A glorious day awaited that same grey Pegasai as she proudly flew out of the window at school onto her new life as the new mail mare of Ponyville; her teacher however was left wishing she’d opened it first...

The stallion of her dreams had just proposed and in total opposite to her usual bad luck that followed any and all that knew her, had just landed the job of a lifetime as a gardener for the richest and most elite.

One year later…

That poor Pegasai mare was rubbing a large belly in despair as she watched the father’s coffin sink into the empty grave, a victim of a bizarre incident whilst gardening involving a bucket of tar, chicken feathers and a bunch of drunken lords and gentry on an annual duck hunt.

Her best friend Carrot Top next to her vowing to help her, she continues on as the unluckiest mare in Ponyville who delivers the mail.

Three years later…

Being an orphan single mother and deciding to add to the family minus the heartbreak…

…The intrepid if slightly unusual mare adopts a young earth pony of about thirteen years and continues on as the mail mare of Ponyville.

A little after that…

A young grey Pegasai mare made her way through the streets of Ponyville as it hustled and bustled along on a bright sunny day in high summer.

Dodging carts and ponies the young mare with large brown saddle bags on her back made her way towards her goal nearly tripping over three young fillies that raced past her laughing.

Escaping no doubt from an irate looking orange earth pony and what looked like a white unicorn covered in glue and glitter who was screaming blue murder about her mane.

Reaching the address that she had written on a scrap of paper in her teeth she was dismayed to find an empty lot with a for sale sign stuck forlornly in the middle of it.

Not defeated the mare tried the next building over for help…

After all it was a post office…

Checking the address one more time the grey mare looked again at the street sign and the number above the doors of the buildings each side of the lot and sighed, pushing the door in front of her she stepped inside.

The post office was small and cramped with a table in one corner and a counter at the far end with shelves on each wall arrayed with all the finery of cheap toys useless gifts and novelty mugs.

In between the mare and the counter stood a long line of very upset looking ponies at the front of which a pony stood berating one of two ponies behind the counter in front of which had a sign on which was written 'complaints'.

As the grey mare made her way past the queue she made a beeline for the other pony sat on the other end of the counter who strangely had no customers and was sat gently sipping a cup of tea.

The older mare didn’t even look up as she silently reached down and retrieved what looked like saddlebags full of mail and dumped them on the grey mares back unintentionally on top of the ones already there.

Before the grey mare could complain or even react a bunch of papers were stuffed into her mouth followed by the older mare squinting at her and then cocking her head before clicking her tongue and returning to her tea.

Confused…?

She was that…

…But not as confused as when she turned to face the pony who had been tapping repeatedly on her shoulder as she stared at the older mare drinking tea who hadn’t noticed her confusion…

For a moment the two young grey Pegasai Mares faced each other before the first grey mare spat out the bunch of papers and ignoring the assembled gasps plus the older mare dropping her tea cup she spoke…

“Hi… I’m Ditzy… Ditzy Doo…”

The second young grey mare shook her head her eyes seemingly observing the one called Ditzy from all angles as they shifted in whichever direction they pleased.

“Derpy… I’m Hooves…”

“I… Mean… I’m Derpy… …Hooves.”

As the older mare fainted at the thought of two of the grey mares Big Package poked his head out of the door of the rear and upon sighting the pair blinked then after a quick prayer just said…

“Ah... Horse-feathers... Now it'll be double the fun round here…”

Wondering what it would take to extend the complaints desk and how much it would cost to hire an extra pony to work it, Big Package retreated out the back leaving all concerned still speechless as the two mares eyed each other up.

Two Tenacious D’s a Dinky with a Sparkler and a Carrot with a Dash to top it off.

There was only silence in the Ponyville post office as the two grey colored Pegasai each with a blonde mane and tail with bubbles for a cutie mark took turns in walking around each other and marveling in the similarities between them.

Derpy sat clumsily knocking a small brochure stand over as she tried to find her voice to address this unfamiliar familiar mare.

Ditzy however was a little quicker off the mark and spoke first…

“I-I came here to visit the Ponyville orphanage… I’m looking for my sister… My twin… Sister… But the orphanage isn’t there so I just came in here for help…”

Derpy flinched at the mention of the orphanage but replied slowly in as clear a voice as she could manage through all of her barely contained excitement.

“Uh… The orphan… The orphanage burned down…”

“Oh my… That’s terrible… How did it happen…?”

Derpy went crimson and hung her head as the memory of her first and only attempt at a second job flickered through her mind like the flames caused by her cookery class…

Ditzy frowned as she caught something about burnt muffins and singed foals from the mumbling response she received, gathering that this might be a touchy subject for her double she began again.

“…Like I was saying I’m looking for my sister she was… …Left at the orphanage not long after we were born…”

“…Um… I guess that’s you…? I mean that’s if you don’t have parents…?”

Ditzy trailed off awkwardly as the thought crossed her mind this Derpy might not know she was adopted!!!

Ditzy was woefully unprepared for this first meeting since she’d figured her sister would have been adopted years ago so a trip to the orphanage was to gain a lead, never in a thousand suns had she imagined she’d just run into her like this.

Derpy shook her head with a big smile on her face.

“Post office my parents… …I mean ponies here my family, took me in brought me up… …Left here not orphanage…”

Ditzy was working this out in her mind as she noticed the post office had become even quieter and as she looked around she realized the older mare from the counter had recovered from her shock, and was now busily cleared all the bystanders from the place.

Letting Derpy’s speech roll around in her head as she tried to think of something to say her train of thought was derailed by the sound of the door closing.

The older mare whose name was First Class made her way between the two mares and asked them if they wanted to discuss this somewhere more comfortable.

In agreement they followed her out to the back as the other pony sat behind the desk waved a hoof at them smiling as he set about binning all the complaint forms for that day.

Ditzy watched her vainly trying to stuff a mountain of paper into an already overflowing bin, to her surprise the pony also removed cotton wool from his ears before making another attempt to try to dispose of the paper.

In the back of the office was the sorting room for all of the post and moving between tables was a huge stallion who was trying to ignore the pair of mares as he took instructions from First Class to take the rest of the day off.

Before any pony could settle however the silence was broken as a door at the back crashed open and two ponies came running in laughing and playing as they scampered through the piles of letters and packages.

As they came to a screeching to a halt in front of the three mares the shock on their young faces was clear…

Ditzy looked first at the young mare then the filly next to her, the first was a reddish purple and looked to around thirteen while the filly was grey with a blonde mane and tail…

Derpy noticed the surprised look on Ditzy and banging a hoof on her chest she spoke in a proud voice…

“Mine!”

“Y-Yours… Wait you mean YOURS???”

Ditzy was blown away as she went back to studying the pair before she realized something…

“B-Both…?”

“…Yup!!!”

“B-But how… I mean she’s got to be at least a teenager… …And… Wait… does that mean you’re married…?”

Ditzy’s mind swam as she thought about the couple of stallion friends she’d had in the past and how for her, the thought of getting married or even having foals was years away…

Derpy let the last comment sail by as she introduced her children, pointing a hoof at the oldest of the pair.

“…Sparkler.”

Then as the teen stood open mouthed still trying to understand what was going on Derpy pointed down at the filly.

“…Dinky.”

Dinky who like her sister was catching flies with her mouth managed a nod as Ditzy introduced herself, Ditzy watched as the two kept switching their eyes between the two nearly identical mares.

“W-Wha…”

Sparkler who was still settling in with her new mom and sister and had only recently overcome the feeling of being the odd one out scowled.

“…Mom……You never told me you had a sister…?”

Calling Derpy that still felt weird given the short number of years between them, but Sparkler was beginning to feel like she’d been left out of something to do with family and her old insecurities surfaced.

Dinky saved the situation as she said in a small voice…

“I-I didn’t know either…”

Derpy smiled.

“Just found her…”

“Don’t you mean ‘just found out…?”

Ditzy was still trying to get to grips with Derpy’s unusual speech pattern as she corrected her.

Derpy nodded a silly grin on her face as she announced proudly to her children whilst pointing at Ditzy.

“Girls say hello to… Um…”

*Pause*

“…Auntie Doo!!!”

Ditzy paled as the obligatory title was given… …An auntie? She was an auntie to a young mare and a filly…?

First Class watched the new arrival as she went through a variety of emotions before being nearly bowled over as the excitable Dinky gave her new aunt a big hug around the neck.

It was obvious the two were twins and the fact they both carried the same cutie marks (a set of bubbles) was more than a little unusual but not unheard of she thought…

Big Package had also given the two some scrutiny and as he shared a bemused look with First Class it was Sparkler who asked the question both the older ponies wanted to but didn’t feel right asking… Well that and all the others that came to mind...

“So if your mom’s… …Sister… Why haven’t you two met before…? And where did you grow up… And where’s her… I mean your parents… And why did they give her up and not you…?”

By the time Sparkler had taken a breath every poignant question had been covered and Ditzy was feeling more than a little overwhelmed by the situation and the small filly wrapped tightly around her neck.

Derpy seemed less than excited to find out as she fidgeted next to her not looking (well not directly) at her.

Sparkler let her anger show as the feelings of abandonment and fury at her own unknown parents bled through, faced with the situation she’d always dreamed would happen to her she was near to tears…

It was First Class who spoke first as the older mare knew such a discussion would require more suitable surroundings.

“Now listen here my dears, I think you should all come up stairs for a cup of tea and we can sort this all out, now Sparkler… Until Miss Ditzy has told her side you will be patient and listen…”

*Pause*

“Dinky I do believe she’s turning blue so stop choking your aunt and go with your sister upstairs and we’ll be right up...”

Ditzy took in great gulps of air as the filly finally let go of her death grip of unreserved joy at having an auntie, Ditzy watched as she ran off towards a small staircase tucked away in the corner of the room.

Sparkler less than convinced stomped after her giving Ditzy a dirty look as she passed, Derpy gave her twin an apologetic smile as her eyes once more seemed to be doing whatever they felt like as they roamed around.

Ditzy watched them for a few seconds before going cross eyed and feeling dizzy, shaking her head slightly she was surprised when, the moment the girls left the room Derpy gave her a vice like hug and with small tears of happiness followed after them.

Big Package and First Class both smiled at her as they too headed for the stairs and as they too disappeared leaving her to follow when ready, Ditzy smiled and wiped away her own tears and slowly got to her hooves.

“There you are…”

Ditzy nearly jumped out of her skin as a voice behind her made her jump.

Standing in the doorway the girls had entered by was a yellow earth pony mare with a bright ginger mane, next to her was a cyan Pegasai with the most colorful mane.

“Huh…?”

“…Derpy… …There’s something… Rainbow Dash wants to tell you…”

The rainbow Pegasai scuffed a hoof on the floor before she approached the confused grey mare.

“Look I know it’s completely out of the blue but…”

“I… …Um… I’m not…”

Rainbow Dash drew level with Ditzy… She appeared to be blushing and nervous for some reason…

“Hi… …Um if you’ll just listen… I’m not… Oomph…!”

Ditzy barely had time to blink before the rainbow Pegasai planted the most passionate kiss on her lips she’d ever experienced.

Before Ditzy could react the Pegasai broke the kiss and with cries of ‘oh no…’ and ‘I didn’t mean to just…’ along with ’call me!’ before she turned and at incredible speed disappeared through the still open door to the outside.

The mare with the ginger mane was still laughing at Ditzy’s expression when she realized something was different about Derpy today…

“Hey I know you said you weren’t into mares and all but she really does have a crush on you…”

“…I’m sorry I didn’t think she’d just do that you know…”

A minute or two passed in silence before the mare continued.

“…Hey are you OK Derpy…?”

“…Yep!!!”

The ginger mare blinked…

She could have sworn Derpy’s lips hadn’t moved but as she felt some pony next to her she turned and came face to face with Derpy.

Ditzy was broken from her daze by the resulting scream as the ginger mare feinted clean away…

A Lost Mothers Confession Delivered!

Tales from the Equestrian Postal Service: A Lost Mothers Confession Delivered!

Carrot Top awoke slowly her eyes opening to reveal the scene around her, she was led out on a small two seat sofa in the private rooms of First Class the post mistress of the Ponyville Post Office.

The room around her was decorated in a soft plush fashion of deep reds and burnished gold, nearby an expensive tea set was being served up by the elderly home owner who smiled warmly at her when their eyes met.

“Ah you’re awake dear, welcome back does anything hurt…? You took a tumble Derpy said…?”

Carrot Top sat up checked her self and replied she was fine, whilst returning the smile she looked around her eyes settled on Derpy with her daughters Dinky and Sparkler sat on a small sofa with her.

Looking at their faces she realized they kept glancing away from her and trying not to giggle, Carrot frowned and turned to see Big Package sat on an identical sofa across from them, next to him was sat…

…Derpy???

Carrot looked back at the first Derpy and then the other before she just sat in stunned silence waiting for some pony to explain just what was going on.

The group burst out in laughter at her confused expression as she visibly paled at the sight before her, her mouth open slightly in shock.

“Um… Why are there two… Did Twilight Sparkle do this…?”

“Nope…”

Carrot turned to the Derpy that had spoken.

“Then… How…?”

The other Derpy sat next to Big Package spoke up hesitantly in a small voice.

“I-I just arrived in Ponyville… I came looking for my sister and… I found her… My name is Ditzy… …Ditzy Doo, I... Uh met your multicolored friend before you feinted...”

Carrot Top looked the speaker up and down before she cottoned on to Rainbow's mistake and with hooves raised to hide her blush she rushed to answer before Derpy could finish raising her hoof to ask the question Carrot Top didn't fancy explaining in front of the two now confused fillies and four adults.

“C-Carrot Top… I live with Derpy and the girls… You said sister?”

Derpy lowered her hoof her eyes looking even more confused than usual but soon forgotten as Ditzy explained to Carrot Top the same thing she’d said to the others downstairs as the yellow mare nodded fascinated by her tale, Sparkler huffed her disapproval resorting to play fighting with Dinky when the filly elbowed her in the ribs for her interruption.

Ignoring the two fillies play fighting Carrot Top decided to ask Ditzy what she intended to do now she’d found her sister.

Ditzy shuffled uncomfortably as she reluctantly had to admit she hadn't gotten that far in her planning having figured it would take a long time to track down a sister she knew nothing about.

“Would you like to stay with us for a few days so you can spend time together or do you have to return home for work?”

Ditzy rubbed the back of her head with a hoof in a distracted kind of way as she hesitated to answer…

“…I don’t have a job… …Or a home… …My mom… I-I mean our mother…”

Ditzy gave Derpy a sad look as she prepared to break the news, Dinky stopped pushing Sparkler who was pulling her tail as they caught on something important was about to be discussed.

“She passed away a little while ago and left this."

Rummaging in her bags Ditzy produced a battered faded envelope on which was written 'The Other One' which she passed to Derpy who leaning forward to grab it nearly up ended the two fillies from the sofa.

Once every pony was comfortable once again Ditzy continued,

"It's probably not much, she wasn't much of a writer or a mo..."

Ditzy stopped herself as the venom in her voice made those around her flinch.

"Well... Anyway... She left some pretty heavy debts behind her, paying them off wasn’t easy and didn’t leave me much but I have enough for a fresh start as long as it’s cheaper than Canterlot or Manehatten…”

Derpy barely twitched as Ditzy spoke but she cuddled Dinky as the filly gave her a supportive hug her understanding of Ditzy’s words clear enough as Sparkler also laid a supportive hoof on her mother.

“…I could stay... At least until I find somewhere around here maybe, find a job and settle down around here...”

Derpy nodded enthusiastically despite the strange feelings she was having, after all this was all a shock but as at least one of her eyes drew level with her disturbingly mirrored image Derpy felt deep inside things would be just fine but still with a heavy heart she felt the weight of the letter now firmly wedged behind her on the sofa.

For Ditzy the fast paced events of the day left her in little doubt trouble was in store, but as she tried to figure out if Derpy was looking directly at her or not she worried whether she was ready to be a sister, and as unknown to the others Sparkler gave her an evil glare, an aunt she wondered...