The Guard of a Different Stripe

by Rego

Rating: teen
Tags: Changelings, Fancypants, Comedy, Rarity, Adventure, Zecora, Fleur de Lis, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance
Length: 10886

When Zecora is asked to show cosmetics from her herbal collection, She finds herself in the middle of an elaborate misdirection.

Custom Tag: [First Person Zecora]

When Zecora is asked to show cosmetics from her herbal collection,
She finds herself in the middle of an elaborate misdirection.
Caught in the struggle to thwart a changeling plot,
She must find a way to help guard Canterlot.

Judge Prize winner in Bicyclette's Crackship Contest hosted by the Original Pairings group
Edited by: TheAncientPolitzanian
Cover Found Here: Guard Fleur de Lis

Featured from 3/2/2022 to 3/5/2022 (JST). Thank you very much for your readership!

Published 2022-03-02 14:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-03-02 14:30:00 UTC

A Tale of Pink, Black, and White

The sunshine burned steady with the air cold and thin.
It seemed I wasn’t ready for the high capital’s din.
With my large burlap bag along with my cane,
I took a few tentative steps off the train.
A rainbow of urban ponies bounded to and fro,
and if not for my friend, I wouldn’t know where to go.

“Here we are, Zecora, the wonderful city of Canterlot!”
Rarity said as she turned quickly to me.
Her face was glowing with most wondrous glee.

“I must thank you again, my urbane friend.”

“But of course! I wouldn’t miss an opportunity like this to see my friend Fancy Pants. Though I am surprised that he wished to see you specifically.”

“It’s just speculation, but I believe my shock to be quite a bit more.
A formal invitation is rarely delivered straight to my humble door.”

A noble stallion showing interest in my potions?
Truly, I couldn’t help but laugh at the notion.
The written request for my craft I found most strange,
And the manner of wording seemed almost deranged.
He spoke of a “product” I was making in secret,
And to nopony else should I dare repeat it.
To me, such a brew would be new,
Not even I knew what he was referring to.

Still, the missive he wrote was quite clear and demanding.
He somehow knew of a certain salve that I’d been experimenting.
He spoke of its use being for facial exfoliation,
But I had created it for a certain magical exploitation.

“Come on, we can’t keep them waiting,”
my friend snapped me out of my internal debating.

“‘Them,’ you say? Is there another coming today?”

“Oh, that’s right. You wouldn’t know since you’re so… ruggedly independent. But, Fancy Pants is always accompanied by his friend, Fleur de Lis. The two are practically inseparable.”

“With a name as fair as Fleur de Lis,
the mare does sound most lovely.”

“I can imagine he wants to wow her with whatever it is you have in that enormous bag of yours. I know he said to keep it hush-hush, but I cannot deny that I’m dying to know what it is you’ve come up with,”
Rarity said as she eyed my bag curiously.
I had taken his desire for secrecy seriously.
“You might be more of a medicine mare, but that blend of exotic shampoo you make for Aloe and Lotus are the highlight of my spa visits with Fluttershy.”

“Thank you as always, Miss Rarity.
You always give compliments with sincerity.”

“Think nothing of it, darling. It’s quite easy to be when it’s the truth. Now, we must be off if we’re going to make it in time. You said he asked to meet us at a jewelry store called Stellar Brilliance, right? I think I know the place. It’s a little off the beaten path as it were, but if he wants to keep this meeting confidential, a small store nowhere near main street is the perfect place to discuss a potential business deal. Personally, I’d prefer an unassuming cafe, but then again, I’m not a recognizable socialite like he is.”

“I must disagree with your own observation.
I’ve always thought you were quite the sensation.”

“Why thank you, Zecora! That is so kind of you to say. I know I’m beautiful, but sometimes it’s hard not to feel like some of the mares around here are on another level. You’ll see what I mean when you meet Fleur. Beauty like hers should only be allowed to exist in magazines.”

“They may polish their horns and preen their feathers,
But it’s your light that’s inside that makes you shine better.”

“My word, Zecora. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you are flirting with me.” Rarity offered a sultry smirk with an eyebrow quirk.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her claim most daft.
However, a stern scowl, both deep and long,
Informed that my mirth was a little too strong.
“I am sorry, my friend, I meant no offense.
I meant that such an action lacks common sense.
After all, I know better than to bait
A pretty mare who’s most assuredly straight.”

“I suppose when you say it like that, it is a bit laughable, though you didn’t have to laugh that hard.”
Rarity complained regarding my choice of words,
But then stopped to consider the swing of my verbs.
“Wait, does that mean you would if I wasn’t?”

“While you have guessed the sway of my stripes,
I’m afraid to say that you're not quite my type.
I seek a mare who could match my strength in a brawl.
Also… I might have a thing for one who is tall.”
Usually I was one for conversations most chaste;
Such a grand admission brought a blush to my face.

“Oh my! I never would’ve guessed!”

“Such topics I have placed upon a high shelf.
I don’t often share what I keep to myself.
To drift into subjects of such creature pleasures
Must also address my living amid wild aggressors.
I enjoy a life filled with great rewards and danger.
To most pony-kind, it makes me all the stranger.
Though I do love my deep forest home,
It means I will likely remain forever alone.”

“‘Forever alone’? Oh no, Zecora. You simply mustn't say things like that! You’re a beautiful pony—err zebra rather. Admittedly, I find your lifestyle a bit eccentric, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a special somepony. You most certainly deserve love, too.”

“Do not worry about me, my generous mare.
Endangering another? Why, I wouldn’t dare!
While you and your friends share a strength far aloft,
The rest of your nation is rather too soft.
It wouldn’t be right to ask another to share my bed at night.
Not in places most foul near where the timberwolves howl.”

“Your home is most certainly not ‘foul’, Zecora. Sure, the Everfree Forest is more of an acquired taste, but the more I’ve seen of your home, the more your homeland’s aesthetic has grown on me. If you ever find somepony, or someone, who you feel an attraction to, I’d be honored to make something wonderful to wear so you can really wow her with your sense of style. In fact, I’ll be sure to help you in any way I can! Just say the word.”

“And again, I must thank you for your generous offer.
Yet I doubt a pony exists that would cause me to hollar.”

As we continued our trot,
Rarity grew lost in thought.
“So, ‘tall and strong mares’, huh? A couple spring to mind. Perhaps you have a more royally refined taste than I thought.”

“While I prefer to set my sights on much lower heights,
I’d never spurn a boon from either the sun or the moon.”

We shared a giggle as we went on our way,
Though we picked up our pace to reduce our delay.
I admit, if not for the fair lady Rarity,
I would be completely lost in the menagerie.
Not to say that I was completely helpless in this foreign land,
But was unaccustomed to structures so needlessly grand.
With such massive distractions, it was hard not to have such reactions
As we purposely strode down the busy road.

While my friend spoke of love and beautiful mares,
I remained silent and listened with little care.
For the topic, the marshmallow was full of zest,
But honestly, it made me feel somewhat depressed.
I tended to put such matters out of my head;
As that train of thought often filled my heart with dread.
At the end of that line sat a feeling most lonely;
My heart’s lustful desire for a wonderful pony.
She was a tall mare most strong that never feared entering battle headlong.
It was a silly desire I always felt that made my inner filly’s heart melt.

But alas, Equestria was not known as a great warrior nation.
Rather, it was a peaceful place filled with love and cooperation.
Such bravery seemed to be in such short supply here,
With memories of a town all crying out in fear.
Everytime ponies would just run away and hide,
It always left me feeling terrible inside.
That had changed in the end, now I was surrounded by friends.
Though I gotten over my first visits to Ponyville,
Recalling their cowardice was a giant buzz kill.

Still… it was always there,
a desire for a warrior mare.
It was a half-forgotten yearning for more,
which left a feeling I very much abhorred.

“We’re here!”
The unicorn announced like a beautiful song.
I forgot that treks with friends didn’t feel as long.
“I hope we didn’t keep them. I can imagine that we’re not the only ponies in Fancy Pants’ tight schedule.”

“Is it not the cliche to be ‘fashionably late’ anyway?”
I quickly proposed to allay worries of the indisposed.

“That is more for parties and events, not so much business meetings. Still, I appreciate the sentiment. I’m sure it’ll be fine. He’s always been the most gracious of hosts. I can’t imagine him being anything but the epitome of chivalry.”

I took a moment to take in our humble surroundings,
Unlike glitzy Mane Street, this was far less astounding.
The jeweler’s was beautiful and still carried Canterlot’s regal flair,
But it lacked gaudy features, making it a far more standard affair.
Serving purely with function was a far more relatable compunction.
It was an opinion I would be sure to keep close to me,
Knowing that Carousel Boutique was quite showy.

We stepped inside and looked around,
But there was nopony to be found.
“Hello? Is anypony there?”
Rarity called as she browsed the selection, enthralled.

“Coming! Hold on,”
A deep voice called from some stairs at the back of the store.
Shortly, a large stallion descended to the first floor.
“O-oh? Welcome to Stellar Brilliance, ladies. My name is Diamondback. May I help you with anything?”

“I was hoping to find Fancy Pants. I hope we aren’t too late.”

He looked at the two of us with a slight pause,
Which left me to wonder what could be the cause.
“I see… You actually beat him here, but I’m sure he’ll be along at any moment. Please have a seat over there and I’ll make you two some coffee.”

I looked at the stallion curiously.
He was built for one working with jewelry.
Under his light blue fur were muscles strong and toned with focus,
And it was abundantly clear I was not the only one taking notice.
As he left to make our coffee,
Rarity was admiring his body.

“My, my. Diamondback sure is quite the strapping stallion. That earth pony looks like he could certainly crush gems into dust.”

“Indeed, his strength might be something of splendor.
How unfortunate it is that he’s the wrong gender.”

“I must say, this side of you is a little unexpected, Zecora. You always seemed like the wise mare of the woods. I figured you’d be open to being with anypony; that is, if you were even interested in dating Equestrians in the first place.”

“While you may think me a sage, my little marshmallow,
I never once said my tastes were much beyond shallow.
I know what my heart likes, and males fail to land strikes.
It’s nothing against them, I swear. I’ve simply always preferred mares.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m not one to judge. Though, now that you’ve told me, you definitely need to get out of those woods more for a little mare talk from time to time. I’m sure we could find somepony tall, strong, and pretty that would be perfect for you. Maybe if we could find a Saddle Arabian mare?”

“Perhaps if they’ve also moved from their land.
I do not enjoy places covered in sand.”

“Oh, right. You live in a forest for access to rare plants after all. I’ll keep my eyes open. I am sure there is somepony out there just waiting to meet you.”

“Good afternoon, everypony! I’m sorry we’re late. Got a little lost on the way,”
A dapper stallion apologized politely as he stepped through the door…

“It was all my fault. But honestly, it is such a beautiful day, I couldn’t help but enjoy taking the scenic route.”
…but it was the mare right behind him that nearly made my jaw hit the floor.

Behind him strode in a pristine flower, tall and regal,
bearing remarkable beauty that should be illegal.
Her mane was flowing pink and long,
Her voice rang out like a bird’s song.
At least there was one flaw that would help me save face,
She was thin like a model, which physical strength would abase.
A lovely figure like that wasn’t built for combat.
Still, that was two out of three, which was quite appealing to me.

“Welcome, Mister Fancy Pants and Miss Fleur de Lis. I am glad I could make my shop available to you today.”
Diamondback greeted the pair, bowing his head with proper airs.

“Of course, Fancy was very insistent about this meeting being secretive, isn’t that right, dear?”
Remarked the beautiful mare with bliss.

“Indeed. Only the best for my lovely little flower,”
Fancy Pants replied, adding a chaste kiss.

Ah, that familiar sting bore a severe bite
After her mere presence set my heart alight.
Of course she’d be taken,
Curse my infatuation!
I took a deep breath, I would be okay.
This wasn’t enough to ruin my day.
At least with this knowledge, my nerves would abate;
It’d be easier knowing that her stem was straight.

The new ponies sat down, joining us at the table
To begin discussing what wares were available.
I promptly produced all that had been requested,
And surely enough, Fleur seemed far more invested.

“Oh, these all seem so wonderful. I always love seeing all natural ingredients!” The flower squealed after growing excited,
Upon seeing the choices that I had provided.
She reached with her magic, sipping her drink,
But her black coffee’s flavor made her smile sink.
“Oh no, it seems Diamondback forgot to add the milk and sugar. Fancy Pants, would you be a dear and go fetch him?”

“Love, we came here for this pony’s beauty products, not—”
A quick kiss interrupted his complaint.
“Sure thing, sweetheart,”
Fancy replied with far less restraint.

“Great. Thank you so much, Fancy,” the flower said with a titter.
“Now then, let’s see what you have.” Her words sent my heart ajitter.

“With me I have brought several herbal cosmetics.
I hope my humble crafts will suit your aesthetics.”

“I’m sure they will if they fit the bill,”
Fleur de Lis smiled and rhymed back to me.
I wondered if she’d done so purposely.

“By the way, Miss de Lis,” Rarity said aside.

“Just Fleur is fine, Lady Rarity,” the flower replied.

“Right, Fleur. And feel free to call me Rarity as well. But as I was saying, it seems as though you’ve got Fancy wrapped quite tightly around your hoof these days.”

“I know. It is quite the sudden change isn’t it?”

“I’ll say. He seems more like a punch-drunk colt in love than the Fancy I’m used to. I had no idea this is how he behaved in private.”

“Oh, trust me, Rarity. No one was more shocked than I was. But enough about that. May I?”
She eagerly asked before starting her task.

The mare’s sultry gaze almost put me in a daze.
“Certainly please, browse at your leisure,
I hope none of my offerings bring you displeasure.”

The mare went to work browsing the large selection,
But strangely, each one she brought close for inspection.
With a deep sense of focus, she started to gleam
Every lotion, potion, powder, and cream.
I tapped my hooves nervously as she searched quite furiously.
After a moment, I noticed a strange pattern had begun to emerge:
If something was not green in color, from the collection she’d purge.

“Pardon me for asking, Miss de Lis, but aren’t you going to try any of them out?” Rarity asked with sharpened concern;
From color alone there was little to learn.
“You haven’t even asked Zecora what any of them do yet. I’m one of her best customers—for lack of a better word—and I don’t recognize half of what you’ve got there.”

“Don’t worry, Rarity. I’m simply narrowing my options. All the best exfoliating creams are green after all,”
She replied with complete confidence,
Despite the claim being utter nonsense.

Rarity turned to me with worry, hoping I’d fix this in a hurry.
“Right… Zecora, are any of those she has there used for exfoliation?”

I opened my mouth to clear up her misunderstanding,
But her strong-headed insistence was far too demanding.
“Don’t answer that, Zecora. I’ll know it when I smell it.”
If my advice she did not want to heed,
Then I’d simply let the dumb mare proceed.
My infatuation with her was entering freefall,
As apparently, she was not quite on the ball.

She sniffed and she whiffed, taking in all of the scents,
but then stumbled upon something that set me askance.
“Ahh, here we are. The refreshing smell of lemongrass and eucalyptus. I wonder what other ingredients are in here.”

“I’m sorry, Fleur, but you’ve made a mistake.
That powerful salve does nothing to exfo—”
Before I could finish, and without any grace,
she generously applied some salve to her face.

“Ahh… I can almost feel it working already. Just does wonders to clear up the skin underneath, doesn’t it? Here, try some, Rarity.”

“Fleur, wait!”
She hovered a dollop and began to smear.
Just what the hay was going on here?
“Merciful heavens, Fleur! Do you even know what that is? It’s so… green! I hope this won’t stain my fur.”

I heaved a sigh as the salve floated towards me;
Fleur stroked a few lines upon my cheek magically.
I waited a moment for the mare to say something,
And that was when alarm bells started to ring.
In place of her innocence was a look of cold steel;
The mare studied our visages for the slightest reveal.
After a moment, her intense suspicion was gone.
I wondered if she knew more than she was letting on.

“I feel pretty good about this.”
The mare noted with a ponderous hoof to her chin.
She rose from the table sporting a devilish grin.
“But I think I need a second opinion. Fancy darling, could you come back here for a moment?”

“Did you find something that strikes your fancy?”
The stallion asked as he re-entered the room,
Fleur sniffed the salve like expensive perfume.

“Spare me the puns, love. But yes, in a manner of speaking. I found the most wonderfully scented facial cream, and I was hoping to get your take on the scent before I made my final decision.”

“Of course, my dear. By the way, I’m afraid I failed to find that Diamondback fellow. Not quite sure where he’s gotten off to. However, I did manage to find some milk and coffee creamer in the break room’s refrigerator. I hope he doesn’t mind that I helped myself to it.”

“Oh, aren’t you are just the sweetest thing! Here, smell this and tell me what you think.”

Fancy sniffed, expecting a flowery scent,
but he gagged and coughed in discontent.
“My word, Fleur! What in blue blazes is in this stuff?”

“Oh come now, it’s not that bad. Here, try some, I insist!”
Fleur urged the stallion with a voice rather coarse.
Balling some cream with her magic, she shot him with force.
The ball collided with him, covering his face with a splatter.
Then she asked nicely “Is something the matter?”

“Seriously? What has gotten into you, Fleur?”
The business stallion loudly complained.
He hadn’t noticed the salve’s color change.
“Ugh! I can’t believe you’d willingly put something like this on yourself. It stinks to… High heaven?”
Fancy exploded in a pillar of green fire,
Exposing the stallion as a familiar liar.

“Oh my! This works even better than advertised, Zecora!”
The mare teased, and pointed where a changeling now stood.
He was confused by his failure of his false hood.

My heart began racing, Rarity screamed loud with a squeal,
but Fleur seemed unphased by the creature’s sudden reveal.
The monstrous foe hissed as he readied his fangs for a bite,
And I reached for my cane to prepare for the upcoming fight.
But before my hooves could reach my trusty weapon,
Fleur’s soft visage took on a wildly different expression.
She swept her leg low knocking our foe off in the air,
And then continued her spin, lighting her horn with a flare.

At once, her pink spell shot through her limbs with a flash.
She stopped and reared back to charge a powerful smash.
Fleur caught her poor target as he fell with a buck,
Releasing an intensely colorful burst as she struck.
He sailed across the room, hitting the wall with his head.
If not for his moans, I thought he’d surely be dead.
Not content with kicking her foe like a hoofball,
She picked up the changeling, pinning him to the wall.
Through his daze he tried to muster a counterattack,
but his horn flickered with nothing and he couldn’t fight back.

“Oh no! It seems like your magic is on the fritz,”
Fleur taunted, her voice much deeper than before.
It rang with fuller strength more accustomed to war.

“What did you do to me, pony?”
The changeling spat with embittered rage,
Upset that his power had been disengaged.

“I’m not entirely sure myself, but I intend to find out after I’m done with you. Now, numbers and names, bug. How many of you are in Canterlot and which ponies have your infiltration team replaced?”

The black monster bit Fleur’s leg with his fangs,
But instead of tissue, he met with sharp pangs.
He yelped in surprise, unable to harm her.
Just what was she wearing? Invisible armor?

“Feel familiar?”
The enraged pony growled dark and low.
With a sparkle of magic, her body began to glow.
“I might not be able to shield all of Canterlot like Prince Shining Armor, but I can channel something just as strong through my body. ‘The Mythril Lily’ ring any bells for you, or is changeling intel filled with more holes than your legs?”

“How did you find ou—”
The struggling changeling tried to inquire,
But she slammed on his neck a leg filled with ire.

“I’m asking the questions here! But if you must know, I figured you out four days ago.”

“B-but that was when—”

“When you replaced him at the party? Yeah, I figured that one out real quick. If you knew anything about my preferences, you’d know better than to try and play games with me using a stallion. At least put on a pretty face so I don’t have to make out with my boss! Now, you can either fill the gaps in my knowledge or I can start making new ones in you.”

“That’s rich. You might have gotten the drop on me, pony, but I don’t take threats from my prey.”

“‘Prey’ huh? Fine. Then let me ask you this: you know what cutie marks are, right? The expression of a pony’s special talent? It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but mine is really selfish: three fleur de lis arranged in a shield pattern. I’m very good with protection magic, but only on myself. Not only can I block most incoming attacks, but I can also dampen most of the damage I might cause myself if I were to, oh I don’t know, pour a dangerous amount of magic into my body for quick bursts of augmented arcane strength. Want an example?”

With a swift blow to his core, she toppled him to the floor.
Then, taking a diamond from a case nearby,
She put it down next to him, but I wasn't sure why.
With a flourish of sparkles, Fleur’s hind leg started to glow far greater,
Her magic blazed brightly, revealing her tightening musculature.
With a loud thrum of magic, the gem met a fate most tragic.
It disappeared in a poof as she slammed down her hoof.
The jewel was destroyed, the floor marred with a crater,
I balked seeing how the flower was a force against nature.

“It’s pretty useful, but the problem is, I can’t hold back if I accidentally charge too much. All that energy has got to go somewhere, so it might as well be into you, right? So, let me ask you again, bug: do you feel like answering my questions, or am I going to have to turn you into changeling goo?”

“Commander de Lis! Are you alright?”
Diamondback shouted as he reentered the store.
His eyes bulged out as he noticed the state of the floor.
“What the hay? Why is the target unmasked?”

“Stand down, lieutenant. I’m in the middle of an interrogation.”

“But what happened to the original capture plan?”

“I guess my letter’s instructions to come alone weren’t clear enough. Not really her fault, considering I had to make him think the real Fancy had written it. But of all the ponies she could’ve brought, of course it had to be Lady Rarity. She figured out something was off about him real quick, so I had to adjust the plan in case she blew his cover too early.”

“But how are we supposed to—”

Diamondback’s complaints were interrupted by Fleur’s restraints.
“Stow the chatter, Lieutenant! The target is still conscious. Go back to securing the perimeter in case he was being monitored. Infiltrators usually work alone, but this one was already suspicious of this meeting. We might have been tracked.”

“Yes, ma’am!” he replied in a hurry, leaving the scene with a look of worry.

“As for you, my little changeling, we are going to have a nice, long chat about your queen’s orders. For your sake, I suggest changing your tune. After making me cuddle Fancy for four days straight, you can imagine that I’m more than a little angry with you. So, either you adjust your attitude or I’ll be adjusting it for you until I feel better.”
Fleur punctuated her threat with a powerful hoof stomp,
The pressure released made the changeling’s ears drop.
It was then she seemed to recall Rarity and I.
She turned to us and addressed us with a sigh.

“Sorry that you two got mixed up in this. Until we know it’s safe, please wait upstairs. You can hold up in Stellar Diadem’s office. Before you ask, she’s the one who actually owns the place. Despite his name, Diamondback knows next to nothing about jewelry aside from it being absurdly expensive. Now, I need to get some answers out of this one, so just go upstairs and stay quiet.”

“Gladly, Miss de Lis. I cannot say this has been a pleasant experience, but it was a pleasure to finally meet you. Come along, Zecora.”

“A-actually, Commander, I might be able to help you with the pretender,”
I nervously said, hoping to help,
But my offer caused Rarity to yelp.

“Zecora! While I find your desire to help our terrifying—ly lovely new friend admirable, now is not the time to interrupt a Royal Guard at work. Let’s do what the nice lady says and get to getting out of her way.”

Ignoring my friend, I searched through my sack;
And took stock of the components I’d packed.
Planning ahead, I had brought most of my alchemical plants;
In case Fancy Pants had meant something else by chance.
If it was answers the commander sought,
Then my presence might not be for naught.
I could likely help her sleuth
By brewing a serum of truth.

“Please, Zecora. I do not want to go upstairs by myself when there could be other changelings about. I’m sure the guards have this well in hoof.”

I lowered my voice, speaking in hushed tones,
Hoping Fleur wouldn’t hear us over her captive’s moans.
“Rarity, please, I don’t want to run and hide.
Doing so in front of her would damage my pride.
Besides, haven’t you fought these beings before?
Then please help me with this, I implore!”

“Well, yes, but I didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter, seeing as how that wedding had suddenly turned into a warzone. Furthermore, I’d expect a line like that from Rainbow Dash. Why would you care about your pride in front of…?”
After a brief pause, Rarity’s words trailed,
As she put together just what mine entailed.
“No. No-no-no-no! Not now, you can’t be serious!”

“But you said all I had to do was give you the word—”

“Not when your request is completely absurd!”
She whispered angrily with a twitch bordering on insanity.
“Oh heavens, now you have me doing it! But seriously, there is a time and place for courtship. A sting operation to expose a changeling replacement plot is not one of those times!”

“I admit, this might be a weird first date,
But never have I met a mare so great!
She’s tall, strong, and lovely, a beauty in its own class.
Furthermore, who could ignore that mare’s excellent—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence!”
Rarity chided angrily with a powerful hiss,
But failing to mention such assets? I’d be remiss!

“I’m sorry, I know that now’s neither the time nor the place,
But Fleur de Lis makes this lonely zebra’s heart race.
I know this is shallow, but I cannot be callow.
If I tuck tail and run, any potential will be done.
You know that I’m not scared of a fight,
But blowing a chance now fills me with fright.”

Fleur coughed loudly and interjected.
With us taking so long, it wasn’t unexpected.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but wasting time is not very ‘helpful’, ladies. Either tell me how you can help or lockdown upstairs.”

I swallowed what little shame I had left with a pitiable whine,
To which Rarity relented, heaved a sigh, and said, “Fine…”

“Sorry, Commander, I was looking through my alchemical components.
With these, I can make something to unveil the truth in mere moments.”

“I appreciate the thought, Zecora, but changelings are naturally resistant to magical coercion, be it a spell or a potion. If he doesn’t want to cooperate, I’ll have to force it out of his head one way or another.”

“How utterly barbaric! You don’t mean to torture him, do you?”
Rarity cried, mortified.

“If I disclose our methods, I will have to kill him. So stop asking questions and get upstairs!”

“Of this natural resistance, I’m keenly aware.
If I wasn’t, I couldn’t call myself a medicine mare.
Mixing these reagents along with some milk;
should get him to spill what he knows of his ilk.”

At first, the guard didn’t seem all too impressed.
I wasn’t sure it would work on our unwelcome guest.
“As long as it’s not toxic, I guess there’s no harm in trying it. Not sure if they’re lactose intolerant though, so make it quick.”

With a nod, I approached the captive who eyed me like a predator.
If I wasn’t always fighting timberwolves, it might’ve worked better.
“Threaten me all you want, ponies. I’ll never tell you anything!”

“Of that, you might be right, most certainly,
But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m no pony.”
I smacked his leg and in his native tongue he swore,
His chittering curses gave me ample time to pour.
The bump in his neck, I traced my hoof to follow,
And with practiced movements, I urged him to swallow.

He coughed with a gag from the concoction’s flavor.
I understood why, as the drink was not one to savor.
“By the maker, that was foul. What did you put into that?”

“I’d rather not reveal such secrets,
Lest you tell others that could repeat it.
For now all you must do is share what’s on your mind…”

“Quite the difficult trick to pull off, I’m sure you will find.”

A fiendish smirk crossed my lips as he unwittingly followed my scripts.
“Oh, are you so sure?” I asked, calm and collected.

“I’ll keep my secrets most secure,” he replied, just as expected.
Confusion was written upon every face in the room;
Including the changeling’s, sensing impending doom.
“Wait. Why am I rhyming?”

“You’re simply keeping up with my timing.
Just to be sure that you’re ready to squawk…”

“I told you before, there’s no way I’ll talk.
Gah! What the… stop that!”

“All is fair in love and combat.”
I drew ever closer, my steps falling lightly,
For now it was time to ask questions politely.
“Now that our pleasantries are out of the way,
Do you know exactly where Fancy Pants stays?
All you have to do is tell us where he is held…”

“You can’t make me say, no matter how I’m compelled!”

“How fast can you think?”

“What do you mean you… minx?”

“If I keep up this speed…”

“Wait! More time I need!”

“Where is Fancy being kept?”

“It’s near where we’d intercept!”
His jaw hung open as he tried to process
Just how in the world he was made to confess.
“Wait, how did that happen?”

“It must be quite difficult for you, I’d imagine.
If you are not used to the way I craft a phrase,
when I talk too quickly, your mind cannot keep pace.
Therefore, when the brew I made forces a rhyme,
your mind races and spits out the few words it can find.
As luck would have it, in your brain’s haste to sputter,
you use words that normally you would never utter.
Rightly you’re not compelled to tell me the truth,
But still your brain thinks hanging words are…”

“... Uncouth!”
He nervously shouted with palpable worry.
I prepared to ask him my questions in a hurry.

“Exactly correct, my chitinous friend,” I answered with grinning delight.

“I swear on my mother, your life I will end,” he bit back with venomous spite.

“Now that the explanation is out of the way.”

“For this egregious action, I will make sure you pay!”

“You mentioned a place where you intercept.” I leaned in closer.

“It’s… where… ponies we mimic have slept,” he replied, losing composure.

“And where is this place?”

“I’ll smack you in the face!”

“Is it nearby?”

“I want you to die!”

With his stubborn resistance, I decided for an approach less direct.
Since I knew my next command would have the opposite effect.
“Don’t think of its name.”

“I’m not going to… bring shame.”

“Your metre seems to be slipping.”

“Because your speed keeps on… keeping?”

“Of its name do you recall?”

“Canterlot—mrph! I just… have to… stall!”

“I’m surprised you resist,” I remarked, letting another line hang.

“They’re my secrets, I insist,” he seethed through gritted fangs.

“Tell me where.”

“Near some stairs.”

“Which ones?”

“In the ruins!”

“What ruins?”

“Old fluids?”
He screamed as I beamed.
“Stop, please refrain! This is melting my brain!”

“Old fluid ruins near some stairs?” Fleur clarified.

“Close to where the party prepared!” he responded, terrified.

“If they were nearby when they grabbed Fancy Pants, then they might be holding up in the old waterworks beneath Canterlot.”

“No, sweet all-mother, please no! How am I supposed to rhyme all of that? Wait. It stopped…?”

“The commander unfortunately has broken the metre,
So you are no longer compelled to repeat her.
So congratulations, your mind is set free,
And thank you for being agreeable company.”

“You’ll pay for this!”

“Ok, that’s enough out of you. Time for a nap.”
Commander Fleur casted a powerful sleeping spell;
Since there was nothing else useful he would willingly tell.

“That was amazing, Zecora! You are always full of surprises,”
A relieved Rarity happily bubbled;
Seeing a nonviolent end to the trouble.

The commander also agreed with her own approving grin.
It was the first she had given without hiding the warrior within.
“I’ll say. Color me impressed. I’ve never seen an interrogation that was so… poetic. I like a mare who can think out of the box.”

I looked away, feeling my cheeks become flush.
This was no time to allow her to see my blush.
“Thank you, and sorry that I could not retrieve more,
I’m certain there were other avenues we could’ve explored.”

“Are you kidding? The best I’ve ever gotten out of one of them is a glob of changeling goo in my face. They usually know that I can’t actually rough a prisoner up, no matter how badly I think the bug deserves it. Sometimes, the threat makes them talk a bit if they’re green—err I mean new, but infiltrators usually know my hooves are tied.”

“Knowing that brings me much needed relief.
You should never torture, no matter how brief.”

“I know it leads to bad intel, but in this case I didn’t really care. Lucky for him we have rules we follow, though I’m sure they wouldn’t pay us the same respect, damn love-sucking parasites,”
The commander remarked, filled with bitter spite.
I could sense righteous anger boiling under the knight.
“Now I know how Shining Armor felt after dealing with Chrysalis before the wedding. You don’t know how badly I want to grind this son of a stud into mulch right now for my backyard carrot patch.”

“The real Fancy Pants must be quite highly regarded
If you wish to feed this one to your vegetable garden.”

“Not exactly. Since the invasion, several guards have been tasked to watch over VIPs, or very influential ponies. Fancy Pants just happens to be one of the most powerful nobles in Canterlot, but is far too accepting. I haven’t determined if he’s a generous saint or a sheltered idiot with no preservation instinct. He’s just so frigging gullible that Princess Celestia wanted to keep him under tight guard at all times. I was assigned since I’d be the least likely guard to arouse suspicion since… well…”
She trailed and caught a mirror’s nearby reflection.
Her eyes misted over with complicated disaffection.
“...I don’t look like a soldier.”

Rarity tisked the the commander in disapproval.
She moved to the side and chastised Fleur’s refusal.
“And whatever is wrong with that? I always thought you were a model of some sort, a rather lovely one I might add. But just because you’re beautiful, you can’t also be a strong and capable mare? I’m sure Fluttershy would have something to say about that.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I like who I am, and I know I’ve got a body that most mares would kill for, but it’s just… wasted on me. Before I took this mission, I was always trying to put on more muscle. It’s good to have a backup in case of magical exhaustion, but no matter how hard I hit the gym, I just wind up lean and toned. I’ve exercised my battle magic enough that my reserves are through the roof, so it’s never been a problem. Still, it’s just so frustrating!”

“Power is not just your horn or your muscle;
The mind is the most needed to win in a tussle.
While I find the use of your magic to be quite unique,
It all is for nothing if you haven’t bothered to think.”

“Thanks, Zecora. And I’m sorry. It must sound so petty to complain when I’ve got battle magic on my side.”

“It is not so, rather, I admire your dogged tenacity.
One should never be content at their current capacity.
Someday soon when the time isn’t so vital,
Perhaps the two of us could spar for a little while?”
I slyly suggested with a half-lidded gaze,
Hoping the mare’s curiosity would be raised.

The warrior’s brow quirked and she cockily smirked.
“Hmmm… tough mare, eh? Sounds like it could be fun, but I’ll warn you now: I earned my commission, Zecora. Don’t think I’ll hold back if you’re up to the challenge.”

“All the more reason to ensure you can live up to your rank.
You wouldn’t want a mere zebra shaman to kick your flank.”

“I do enjoy seeing non-Equestrians tactics at any rate.”

“Then I suppose I shall look forward to our upcoming date.”

“Yeah.”
Commander de Lis agreed with a little laughter,
Only catching my double meaning shortly thereafter.
“Wait, wha—?”

“Onto the business of freeing Fancy and his friends.
Do you know which watery ruin we are meant to descend?”

“Hold on, back up. Who is ‘we’ here? Once the Lieutenant is back, you two and the prisoner are staying right here with him until backup arrives.”

As if on cue, said earth pony soldier returned,
Bursting through the rear entrance without much concern.
He looked no worse for wear but was shifting his weight,
But I noticed a slight tremble in his powerful gait.

“Report, Lieutenant!”

Diamondback saluted and walked through the door.
He stopped by the changeling asleep on the floor.
“I performed a standard sweep of the area. There were no changelings, sir. The infiltrator must’ve been alone or whoever was with them is long gone. Is the package secure?”

“The package? You mean that changeling next to you or Zecora’s—”
Before she could finish, I struck the commander,
Lightly enough to cease the needless banter.
“What in the world was that for, Zecora?”

“If there is no danger, a question does beg:
Why have you returned with a limp in your leg?”

Diamondback blinked, eyes in utter surprise.
“Uhh… I tripped?”

Not wanting to give the faker a chance to react,
I lept into action and struck him with a launching attack.
Striking his horn with my cane, the stallion cried out in pain.
Familiar green flames arose, and a small changeling was exposed.

“It will take more than a shoddy disguise to fool these practiced eyes.”
With a blow strong and quick, I struck her face with a kick.
As she fell to the ground, she made nary a sound.

“Merciful heavens, Zecora!” Rarity cried seeing how much force I had applied. “Was all of that quite necessary?”

“Of my hasty actions, I ask you two to forgive,
I promise you that the changeling still lives.
Though, I’m sure when she wakes,
she’ll have the worst of headaches.”

At once, Fleur dashed to inspect the faker,
Ensuring she hadn’t left to meet her maker.
She inspected the girl and growled with visceral anger,
With the lieutenant missing, we were all clearly in danger.
“Not good. This one’s a scout. Means they were suspicious of the meeting from the start. If I’m lucky, it was just the one, but if she doesn’t report back soon, they’ll know we’re onto them. You two, find the nearest patrol before they wake up. I’ve got to go. Now!”

“Wait, Fleur! You can’t just—And she’s gone.”
Without a single second to waste,
The commander left the store posthaste.
Fleur’s horn sparked with light as she sped out of sight.
“To think that I was just going to help you sell a cosmetic or two.”

“I’m sorry, but I must leave Commander de Lis’ orders to you.”

Behind me I heard the dressmaker raise her voice to complain,
But with Fleur’s head start, there was no time to explain.
If I was quick, I could follow her sparkling trail,
But if the magic went out, my tracking would fail.
Putting my feelings aside, her actions I could not condone.
After all, one should never engage a swarm of changelings alone.

It took me a moment for my breath to catch.
Chasing her was akin to pursuing Rainbow Dash.
With her strengthening magic she had raced through streets,
Bobbing and weaving through hoof-traffic at breakneck speeds.
I finally caught to her after running halfway across town;
For my sake, I hoped this was where we were meant to go down.

“Hope that stupid changeling’s info was solid,” she muttered under her breath.

“I assume he’s correct, since the gates are so squalid,” I added as I joined her step.

With summoning magic, she produced a golden spear.
“Zecora? What the—when the hay did you get here?”
I made sure to show the green mark on my side,
Ensuring that I was one with nothing to hide.
“Okay, you’re clear. But seriously, I told you to stay with Rarity. You’re supposed to be safe with her and the guards!”

“As you already know, I live in a forest, dark and lonely,
But not even I would assault a hive without anypony.”
I matched her gaze and hoped she’d accept my excuse,
Since I would not allow my offer of help to be refused.
“These creatures are masters of stealth;
Another pair of trusted eyes can only help.”

“Fine. You win. At least I know you’re capable,”
She begrudgingly uttered and relented.
I hoped my resistance hadn’t offended.
“It’s good to know I have someone close not wearing a disguise.”

“On that note, I have brought some useful supplies.
Here is the “cleanser” that reveals a changeling’s deception.
I suggest you apply some to yourself and your weapon.”

“Good thinking. If we can disable their magic with this stuff, then we’ll roll right over them.”

“Unfortunately, it is not so easy,” I admitted warily while perking an ear.
I checked around once more to ensure nothing else would hear.
“The salve requires their fire for the effects to transpire.
Of the base cleanser, there is nothing to tell.
After all, it is little more than dispelling gel.”

Fleur blinked in confusion from the humble solution.
“Dispelling gel? It can’t be that simple. Twilight Sparkle’s report spoke of a glow when she and Spike were covered in it.”

“Ah, but you see, that Zecora was not me.
Twilight’s harrowing tale of fighting the wheels of fate
led me to see if such a salve I could replicate.
I quickly discovered a paint that glows red to reveal,
but it wouldn’t be helpful in our version of Ponyville.
Where I had no time in a world ruled by shapeshifters,
the ability to develop is where this timeline differs.”

“So this stuff is better than what the other Zecora came up with?”

“Of that I’m not sure, but I suppose in a manner of speaking true.
I’m sure we both used the same repellents to give this a green hue.
But her version was meant to be worn everyday,
mine is to be used to keep changelings at bay.
The secret which seals their ability to cloak;
Is the dangerous pollen of poison joke.”

“Poison joke, like the flower? Are you crazy? That could debilitate us on the battlefield before we even get close if we’re affected!” the soldiering mare strongly objected.

“As I said when I came, the salve requires changeling flame.
When the pollen’s casing breaks, the effect also wakes.
It travels along with their fiery magic
Pulling a prank that is most problematic.
For whatever reason the flowers always agree;
That a changeling that cannot shift is quite funny.
An issue arises when not using the whole flower
As the joke becomes dead in less than an hour.”

“Okay, so what you’re saying is the salve is pretty useless unless they’re already disguised.”

“Not exactly, commander. Those words I didn’t say.
But I do have an idea before we get underway.
Wearing intricate patterns while traveling through the dark
May make it harder for them to match our unique marks.”

“They have low-light vision, but I suppose it’s better than nothing. Besides, we can always try ramming them if they change into us. Might get some of it on them and lock up their magic.”

“Just be careful to back away before they catch fire.
The pollen’s effects might leave you in a state most dire.
Here is some salve to apply to your body.
Just match what I have, no matter how spotty.”

I took some salve and with gestures small and grand,
I began painting symbols from my homeland.
With triangle patterns and jagged lines,
I covered myself with zebra designs.

She looked at the salve and then back at my side,
and with a nervous gulp she swallowed her pride.
“Okay, this really isn’t a good idea. I have absolutely zero artistic talent and I can’t match those beautiful patterns. After you're done marking yourself, can you help me quickly?”

“Gladly! I mean… yes, leave it to me,” I said with a slight stammer.
It’d been a while since I’d be blessed to work with such glamor.
Ignoring my nerves, I began to paint,
While forcing myself to practice restraint.
Upon such a canvas, my lust left me wanting,
To savor its touch, her taut body was taunting.
As I’d seen with her magic tracing her strong lines,
I could feel her rippling muscles, toned and refined.
After several moments too long and getting lost in the mare,
She turned around and asked, “Hey! What are you doing back there?”

“Yes of course, Commander de Lis. I’m almost done with my duty.
it’s just… not often do I get to work with such strength and beauty.
I beg your forgiveness. Give me a second more to finish this line,
I’m sure at a distance, our details will be hard for them to refine.”

I rejoined her in front of the sewer’s entrance,
Knowing my urges had sunken my chances.
I risked smiling at the mare trying to seem agreeable,
But after a few moments, Fleur’s face became unreadable.
“I apologize, Fleur de Lis, for being somewhat distracted.
As you may have already guessed, I find you very attractive.
While my stay in this country has not been very long in length,
Equestria rarely makes mares of both your stature and strength.”

“Wait. You find me attractive and it’s not because I look like a runway model?”

“While I will not deny that your appearance certainly helps,
I don’t generally harbor feelings for such fragile whelps.
As the years pass, beauty will eventually fade like a flower.
I prefer smarter mares who can flaunt their power.
I enjoyed some flirtation, waiting for the Lieutenant’s return,
But I went beyond mere touches just now, and understand your concerns.”

The commander cleared her throat, being taken slightly aback.
I hoped my confession hadn’t thrown her too far off track.
After a moment, Fleur refocused her vision,
Staring towards the path that led down to our mission.
“Alright. From here on out, stay close and quiet.”

We descended into the sewers with careful steps,
To find where the changelings had Fancy and friends kept.
We stayed in the shadows avoiding the old crystal lights,
Hoping our presence would remain safely out of their sights.

After half an hour of searching at a pace that was quite lurching,
We found a changeling platoon guarding a group of cocoons.
They were smaller in number than we had expected,
But more might appear the moment we were detected.

I gently tapped Fleur’s shoulder, asking what we should do.
She simply drew her weapon and lept into their view.
I followed at once at the ready with my battle staff,
We landed in the middle, cutting their forces in half.
Her frontal assault I felt was very shortsighted,
But that’s when a series of sickly flames ignited.

After vivid flashes of dark green, no changeling was left to be seen,
But put in the shapeshifter’s places, were copies of our sneering faces.
Normally this might be a formidable intimidation tactic.
Unfortunately for our foes, the ending would be anticlimactic.
They charged at once to begin a massive brawl,
But one-by-one, their costumes began to fall.
It took a few moments to realize their mistake,
And by the time they all noticed, it was too late.
With their ranks broken and their magic sealed,
We both had full run of the battlefield.

With our advantage, we exchanged small smirks,
Cracking our hooves, we both set out to work.
Without magic or flight, the swarm stood no chance,
We fought them in a beautiful, savage dance.
While I struck them with quick blows with my trusty staff,
Fleur crushed them with blows nearly snapping them in half.
As we fought through the waves of their feeble advances,
There were moments I managed to steal a few glances.
The only times I felt myself led astray,
Was when I caught Fleur also looking my way.

While the scenery was dismal, surrounded by creatures of hate,
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy this strange date.

When our foes were routed and the last one fell down.
We started to free all of the ponies we found.
There were a large number of nobles along with their servants.
It made me wonder if there were other changeling insurgents.
Surrounded by unconscious foes and with time of the essence,
Fleur channeled a powerful spell of guiding luminescence.
It shot through the passages, leaving trails to the outside,
To signal for help before the salve’s sealing effect could subside.
After a few minutes of waiting, the rest of the guard descended.
They bound the horns, wings, and hooves of the changelings we had apprehended.

Commander de Lis guided her legion of ponies
As they left to lock up the small army of phonies.
Sadly, all was not as safe and secure as we thought.
On the horizon were black specks fleeing Canterlot.
It made sense with the number found in the waterways,
They had all been replaced for who knows how many days.
After the action died down and we found a few seconds to breathe,
A familiar dandy approached us, heaving a sigh of relief.

“Smashing job, Miss de Lis! I’m sure you were just as surprised as I was to find changelings in Canterlot again. I can’t believe they would abduct me of all ponies!”

Fleur took a sharp breath before turning back to her boss,
Her eyes barely maintaining a kind and patient gloss.
“Of course Mister Fancy Pants. I mean a pony of your status and influence over almost the entire business sector of Canterlot? Why, I can’t even imagine what the point of trying to replace you could be.”

“My thoughts exactly, Miss de Lis. There must’ve been a mix-up if their orders if they thought I’d make a good target for their plans. I’m just a simple stallion that goes to parties. I can’t imagine what would be the point.”

The commander glanced back at me with a frustrated glint.
I couldn’t quite fathom how he could miss that blatant hint!
I kept my mouth sealed while slowly nodded my head.
Without the commander, Fancy Pants would be long dead.

“And who is this fetching friend of yours?”
The dim stallion asked the commander, hoping to start some friendly banter.

“Zecora of the Everfree Forest. If not for her, I probably never would’ve found you in time.”

“Then allow me to say that you also have my eternal gratitude just as Fleur does, Miss Zecora. I must say, those stripes… You wouldn’t happen to be a zebra, would you?”

“Quite right,” I answered with ample Canterlot flare,
It was fun to put on a tone most debonair.

“Don’t do that, Zecora. You don’t wear pretentiousness well.”
Fleur scoffed at my attempt to light the mood.
Perhaps I had stumbled and done something rude?

“Commander!”
A deep, familiar voice called with intrepid insistence.
It was Diamondback and Rarity closing the distance.

“Diamondback! Thank Celestia! Are you alright?”

“Yes, Commander de Lis. After Lady Rarity got the guards, she found me in the alleyway near the store. I’m all right now.”

“Is that so? That’s fantastic. That means you can tell me how a mere changeling scout managed to take down one of my toughest stallions?”

His happiness was crushed as Fleur’s flaring temper turned on a dime.
I also wondered how a small girl had beaten a him in his prime.
“Umm… The changeling got the drop on me and—”

“Stow the excuses! You’re not some bumbling cadet any longer, but a full-fledged member of the Lunar Guard. Now explain exactly what happened!”

“Y-yes ma’am!”
The lieutenant saluted his chief, terrified of her hostile debrief.

“There you are, Zecora.”
Rarity said, drawing my attention away,
Her bitter look of displeasure was clear as day.
“Is it just too much to ask? Between the constant summons of the Cutie Map, business ventures, and dress orders, would it be all right to just have a day where absolutely nothing happens?”

“I’m sorry the world’s troubles
Seem to constantly bubble.
It must be a strange quirk of destiny
That’s constantly calling you endlessly.”

“Be that as it may, I would appreciate it if destiny acknowledged my weekends more often. I just wanted to meet Fancy Pants and Fleur and then spend the rest of the afternoon showing you some of my favorite places in Canterlot.”

“If you know of any places to stay,
I wouldn’t mind spending an extra day.”

“Oh? Perhaps you made some headway with a certain, lovely guard?”
Rarity asked with a delighted and mischievous aura.
“Or is there another reason for your interest, Zecora?”

“As much as I would like to speak of success,
I’m afraid I’ve only failed to make progress.
The commander isn’t somepony to be conquered,
Fleur is a mighty pony who deserves to be honored.
I made a grave mistake that I am worried will last,
I was forced to confess upon reaching an impasse.”

“Oh dear. You’ve barely known each other for an afternoon and you already confessed your feelings? How in the name of Celestia did that happen?

“I’m afraid my lust got the better of my senses,
Causing me to get lost in her… wild expanses.”

“How very tactful of you…”
I couldn’t protest as she muttered flatly.
I knew full well I had messed up badly.
“Still, I know I occasionally enjoy attracting the attention of a handsome stallion when I walk down in a new dress. It makes me feel good knowing that I can turn a head.
I’m sure she can forgive you for not acting like a saint.”

“I happened to feel her up while applying that green paint.”

“Zecora!”

“Look, I know and I’m very sorry! But she’s got an amazing body!”
I seethed in embarrassed defense.
I cursed for causing great offense.
“Under that pristine coat of shimmering white,
Stands a brave warrior who knows how to fight.
The commander asked me to help her apply the cream,
I couldn’t help but admire the mare of my dreams.
Not only is she skillful, tenacious, and smart,
her carefully built frame is a fine work of art.”

As I admitted in secret my initial attraction,
I felt my heart hurt from the weight of my salacious actions.
“Fleur de Lis is the only mare that I’ve ever met,
That’s kindled a fire that I always neglect.”
“Please Rarity, I need to make an apology…”
I begged Rarity’s to help find a way,
But the mare’s gaze slowly lifted away.
“And please do not say she is standing right behind me.”

“Umm… Zecora?” the target of my affections said slowly.
I turned around to see the reddening face of Fleur de Lis.
The guard looked away, lightly cleared her throat,
While hoping to return the white to her coat.
“I don’t like awkwardness, so consider the apology accepted. Anyway, I wanted to say thank you on behalf of the Lunar Guard. Without your help, I wouldn’t have been able to save anypony in time.”

“You’re quite welcome, and forgive me if this sounds contrived,
But it was truly an honor to fight by your side.”

“Thanks. For what it’s worth, I enjoyed working with you as well. It’s not everyday that I meet someone I can tag-team a group of changelings with. I overheard Rarity saying you two might need a place to stay for the night since you two kinda got caught up in all of this infiltration nonsense. If you don’t want to bother the princesses, Fancy said you’re welcome to stay with me at his place.”

Rarity clopped her hooves at the stallion’s generous gift.
I couldn’t help but wonder what had caused Fleur’s tonal shift.
“That sounds delightful, Fleur. Would you like to join us tomorrow if you’re available?”

“Well, I doubt any changelings will try to swipe that idiot again so soon after a botched plot, and I’m due a little time off. Sure, I could use a little R&R.”

“Marvelous. And I know just the place to go after all of this nonsense. There’s a special mountain water spa that I wanted to try. It’s supposed to feel like bathing in the clouds. I hope you’re not too much of a tomcolt to shy away from treating yourself like a princess, Fleur.”

“Why of course not!”
Fleur raised her voice back to her fake songbird register.
Honestly, I preferred her natural voice better.
Others might say it was a little too rough,
But I would argue it’s more sultry than gruff.
“Just because I am a warrior at heart doesn’t mean I don’t like to pamper myself from time to time. Though, before taking a bath, I’d like to spar with you while we still have this awesome war paint on our fur.”

“It pleases me that you admire the design’s construction,
But you should know these patterns serve a much different function.
While we used them for battle, I wanted you to know,
The lines I painted are meant to help lovely mares glow.
For our purpose, these zebra markings were perfectly suitable,
But where I am from, I made you look especially beautiful.”

For a moment I worried if I had once more spoken out of turn,
But there was a flush of red on Fleur de Lis’ face that started to burn.
I let my eyes wander to pretend she hadn’t been caught.
It was exciting to know that I might still have a shot.

“Okay you two,” Rarity interjected.
Her sigh revealed she was exasperated.
“I swear, it’s far too early to make me feel like a third wheel. Why don’t you two work out your aggression while I see a friend about dinner after you’re done. I have a sneaking suspicion you two might like the Tasty Treat. I’ll just need to see if Saffron has a table available for the three of us later tonight.”

With that, Rarity left to reserve our seats,
Leaving the two of us with time to compete.
“Is there an arena where we can have a few bouts?
I would like to ensure that we can both go all out.”

“The castle barracks has a training area. If we put up a few safety wards, we shouldn’t cause too much damage.”
The commander answered with an excitable smile.
Such a place sounded perfect for us to spar for a while.

“I suppose that the royal treatment will have to do.
Since I don’t know this city too well, please, after you.”

The commander saluted and took me aside,
She led us down busy city streets as my guide.
The salve on our faces made us stand out in the crowd,
Despite their confused attention, I felt rather proud.
To most passersby, we must’ve appeared very dirty,
But Fleur said she liked it, putting my heart in a flurry.
I tried to calm down and focus on my center,
Until I felt Fleur wrapping our tails together.

“I acted inappropriately, so it’d be better to wait—”
I tried to say, but instead…

“Wasn’t it you who suggested this should be considered a date?”
…Fleur quipped, and my face flushed red.
I tried to respond, but my words were gone.
“Rarity might be right with how suddenly we met… uhh… you and I,
But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to try.”

I leaned into her side as we headed towards the castle,
We trotted sweetly along before we’d start our battle.
No matter the fight’s outcome, it wouldn’t matter much to me,
For now I would savor the touch of Commander Fleur de Lis.

Author's Note

This story is dedicated to the ever important "Audience of One". The one whose life may be made better with a momentary escape from reality. Whoever that one happens to be, I hope you enjoy this story. I will do my best to tell it. - Lord Regulus

Also, this was an Entry for Bicyclette's Crackship Contest hosted by the Original Pairings group.

If you find a simple mistake in the GSP (Grammar, Spelling, or Punctuation), please let me know through a private message rather than leaving it in the comment section. Leave the discussions to discussions. Thank you for reading.

If you're up for some bonus content with these characters, check out the following blog post:
Fun with Zecora and Fleur de Lis of the Lunar Guard