Open Your Eyes

Let's get started...
Hey There! This is the story of my life that I wrote in an old notebook. I lived an average and repetitive life until the best thing happened.

It was a normal day, like every other day: boring, repetitive and without colors.
I get up, work, keep the entire day reflecting and thinking what is bad in my life and what should be done to help my own mental health... And after, I just sleep.

Every hour that passes I turn my phone on to see If there's a message, but nothing...

I think I have bipolar disorder, because there are days that I'm really happy, feeling like the best thing ever... And there's days that I feel pain... Empty... Wanting to disappear and never come back.
There's something wrong... Something missing in my life...

I'm seeking for reasons to stay fighting.

Of course, there are times that good things happen, like talking with my best friend or finding something to do. Sometimes I try to create music with my old keyboard and acoustic guitar, and it's really fun! The notes, the gorgeous melody... Everything makes me smile.

Some months ago, I started to watch My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, and it helps a lot making me stay... You know, alive inside. The ponies are happy and colorful... Everything makes sense... And they don't need to be afraid of anything, cause together, they are kinda... Invincible.

I just want to touch the vivid colors and live in a peaceful place... as if it were ever possible...

I don't know why, but I don't like to see twilight with wings, grown up and being the princess, so I only watch seasons 1 to 3, because in my opinion they are the best ones. I don't know if I can call myself a "full brony" cause I didn't watch season 4 to 9, but who cares. My best friend David is a brony too. It's a perfect match, because he likes the same things that I like.

Unfortunately, he moved to another city. I don't know if visiting him is possible, because it's really far from here.
After he move out, I bought a Rainbow Dash and Spike plushies, cause they are the most funny and cool ones in my opinion. I talk to them every time, cause my friend isn't here anymore.

So at evening, there's me: watching My Little Pony, getting deluded in every minute that I watch... Lying to myself like a kid, saying that one day... I'll visit Equestria and meet mane 6.
Everyone in mane 6 is very nice, but I specially like Rainbow Dash because it's wonderful colors, and of course, the Sonic Rainboom: the most amazin- I mean... "20% cooler" thing that could happen... If it were real, obviously...

That's why I learned some things in after effects, to make mlp in real life videos. I'm not a professional, but that worked! Yes, I still have only 5 subscribers in one of my YouTube channels called "Am I a Furry?"... but in my point of view, it worked very well!

One of my biggest wishes is to wake up in Equestria as a pony and live a normal pony life, being able to be one of Rainbow Dash's friends.

Since last 3 nights I'm trying to have lucid dreams, cause I want to meet them, hug them, run around Equestria and have fun with all ponies... At least for a second... It would be the best day ever...

I want to live in the world of lucid dreams... A dimension where everything is magical... without worrying about death. With fictional beings who truly love and accept me.

I put my notebook on the table and lay down on the bed, mentally repeating phrases.

"I'm in Equestria. I'm going to meet everypony..."

"I want to live in a dimension where anything can be possible"

"I want my life to make sense"

"I want all ponies to be in my side"

An extremely loud sound happens, literally making me almost have a heart attack.
I try to move, but I can't! I feel a kind of wind in my face... I think I'm on the... floor?