Goated

by ItsYaBoiSatan

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Discord, Violence, Sex, Zecora, Human, Narcotics, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Mystery, Comedy, Profanity
Length: 15249

A story about some goats that may or may not have entered Equestria for some unruly or comedic means

"Bruh look at these (GROC's) by the the way."

(GROC)
[Goat Related Original Character]

This Is My First story, I will be using a generous amount of comedy and foul language once the goats have come into play entirely, Might be funny, Might be offensive

This is quite possible going to get INSANE. The recipe is as follows.

- A splash of comedy.
- A helping of mystery.
- A stick of emulsified depression.
- A pan seared skillet of chaos.
- The flames of pure agony.
- The help of 3 to 4 apples a day
- And a hint of crackfic

This story is about a farmer and his goats, the goats can remember everything before they crossed over as well as gaining sentience. The farmer has no recollection of his past, and can therefore be influenced by others. Follow the farmer and Goats as they get into mischief to remember his past with the help of his devious goats. As New enemies and rivals arrive along the way, our goat farmer learns new things and old about himself and those he trusts most. He may confide in Luna from time to time, even behind his goats backs. He won't know who to fully trust until he finds his mind.
...
sex tag is for nudity, and potential sexual reference.
...
...

Might get serious.
Let's see where they take us.

Published 2022-03-10 15:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-02-27 19:23:40 UTC

The pasture

Author's Note

Imagine being a GOAT.

EXXAAAAAAAAACTLLLY, THATS WHAT IM SAYING.

Goatmanity is far superior to humanity, IN MOST WAYS.
NO MORE COMPLAINTS.

The pasture

On earth:
The day started like any other, accept today was different. Today marked the Lunar New Year of the Goat. Many different forces and energies we're running rampant in the universe, like a state of cosmic unrest.

On Equis:
Up in the mountain, Stagnant and still from the outside world. It stood.

In between:
Discord was sitting on the couch eating paper when he noticed his hoof needed a scratch, his GOAT hoof specifically. And it wouldn't stop no matter what he tried, at least to his knowledge.

"Now listen here you nitwhit, if i wanted to make a hoof stop itching, i could've done it ten times over already."
"At least to my knowledge"

...

"What's the matter, are you done narrating me"
He began tapping his other foot.

His hoof began to itch furiously this time, and their would only be one way to stop it. To cause some form of goat related chaos.

"Okay Geez, you can stop it with the itching."
"Let's get on with the fun bit of creating some truly wacky scenarios."

-Curtain close-

A portal opened up, not in any place in particular other than a farm. A Very Particular Farm. What a coincidence, it just so happened to spawn right behind a farmer. And he might've just so happened to fall into it, along with two goats that felt the energy pulling them into the portal.

Upon entering they had formally passed out, and the farmer dreamed. He didn't know what it was that he saw, but he was confident it wasn't normal, It looked ancient. He tried to reach for it but was just a few inches away before he couldn't move.

They sleep in the forest, untouched by the surrounding wilderness. The goats dream of the bell, They know what they see for they hold it in their dream. But for now, they rest. A once believed in God knows they need it.

It was currently night which gave sight to her, she saw it as they came through. Luna saw their dreams but did not intervene, she only thought.

'This troublesome bunch might lead us on any number of dangerously endearing adventures.'

"I must tell Celestia at once."

She traveled through the dream realm until she found Celestia's. Many lavish Desserts we're lined up on silver platters across the room, and Celestia was currently stuffing herself with cake from the royal kitchen.

Luna was almost appalled with the sight of her older sister engorging herself, but put it aside.
"Celestia, three deviant entities have entered Equestria, they could prove to be dangerous if left unattended."

She quickly finished her mouthful.
"Just send twilight and and her friends after them, Easy."
She then proceeded to burp
"Excuse me, that was rude."

"Now, what exactly we're the creatures that have infiltrated Equestria?"

"One of them is a strange bipedal creature, it doesn't seem to have the same tendencies as the other two, but it still might be a problem in its own right."
"The other two would seem to be normal goats, if it weren't for their confusing and impossible connection to grogars bell."

"Hmmm, how did they get here? "

"That's the problem, i haven't a clue."
"I just felt the allure of their dreams, there's somethings off about them, they just, arrived."

"Can u tell where they are?"

"In the Everfree, somewhere, it's hard to tell, they don't currently know their own destination, so it's kind've rough guestimation."

"Interesting, I'll send a message to twilight about this in the morning, keep an eye on their dreams for now, if things get out of hoof we can take control of the situation."

"Alright, though i don't appreciate your laid back nature with how serious this situation could get."
"Goodnight sister, I'll wake u once it's morning."

"Goodnight Luna, I'll see you in the morning."
She then went back to stuffing her face as usual.

Celestia went back to sleep, and Luna made sure to leave her to it. Luna went back into the dream realm to check on their visitors, it didn't take long to find once again.

What she found exactly was a surprise, there was nothing. The strange creatures dream was completely and utterly void of anything, except black. It was a backdrop of nothing, except a singular thing in the distance.

"Hello, is any creature there?"

No response

"I am princess Luna of the night, you seem to have entered into Equestria quite recently."

It turned around

"If I may ask politely, who are you?"

"I don't know anymore, what's my name?"
It scratched it's head

"I don't know, would you like one?"

"Yes, I would please."

"Alright then, from this day forth you shall be referred to as Goat Keeper."

"Goat Keeper?"

"I think it fits."

"I kinda like it."
"Goat Keeper, it has a nice ring to it."

"So, Goat Keeper, do you know how you got here?"

"No, I don't think so."
"At least, I don't think I know so, where are we?"

"We are in the dream realm, you are currently asleep."
"Do you have any idea of what you are?"

"Yes, i know what I am."
"I'm human, I think."

"Two other creatures arrived here with you."

"Really?, Where are they?"

"Right next to you, also sleeping."

"Well dang, i guess I'll meet them when i wake up."

"These other creatures could prove to be devious, can you keep an eye on them for me in the waking world?"

"I guess so, but no promises."
"Promises are for fools."

"Wherever did you hear that?"

"I don't know, somewhere, kinda hard to remember stuff like that."
"Are you done asking questions, because I also kind've have one too?"

"Proceed."

"If were in the dream realm right now, then why is there nothing here."

"Well, it's your dream, it really depends on what's going through your mind during life."

"But there's nothing going on in my life, right now at least."
"Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Wai-"

It woke up.

The Farmer 3 Parter

Author's Note

This is purely for my own entertainment.
OBVIOUSLY, probably.
But also for those who like where it goes.

The Farmer 3 Parter

Luna came out from the dream realm in the Human's mind scape, still in her own dream realm. They were fun to talk to, but she still couldn't believe them. She was shocked, absolutely bamboozled. This Human had the audacity to wake up in the middle of a conversation with one of the corulers of Equestria. Not that the creature knew anything of this worlds history or anything, but she should've stood out as someone worth listening to. She still had more questions.

Nevertheless, she could check up on their other visito-

"THE PRESENCE HAS MOVED!"

Nevertheless, This Goat Keeper said he would see her tomorrow night. Luna had patience, she needed rest, But before she would rest, she wanted to wake up celestia.

So she opted for the most efficient wake up call, teleportation onto her sisters haunches using the royal Canterlot voice.
"MY DEAREST SISTER WAKE UP, THE GOATS ARE ALREADY ON THE MOVE, THEY WOKE UP WELL I WAS IN THE DREAM DISTRACTED BY THEIR HUMAN CREATURE!!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!, IM UP NOW!!!, Get me a quill and parchment."

Luna quickly teleported all of the necessary materials onto a nearby daystand, to make a note to twilight. To which Celestia slowly trembled out of her bed towards, frightened by her sisters interruption of her favorite dream.

She wrote the note...
Meanwhile...

It was still dark out.
Goat Keeper woke up in the middle of nowhere, well not nowhere exactly. In the middle of the Everfree forest, and there were no such other creatures to be seen. At least, not currently in his vision.

He stood up and immediately noticed his dirty attire. He tried to dust it off, but failed miserably.
He almost fell over too but caught himself on a spare goat.

wait whut

"AAAAHHHHH!!!, a, goat."
Seemingly surprised but quickly calming down.

"Yes indeed, a goat."
A friendly tone replies,
"Your goat." he repeated.

"My goat?"

"Yes, your goat."

"And my goat can also talk?"

"Yes, well no, not normally, but we were given sentience when we came over."

"Yes, speaking of we, where's the other one that the mare in my dream told me about."

His ears turned at the mentioning
"Yeah, i saw her too, best not to listen to anything she has to say."
"Also, you don't remember us?"

"No, not really at all."

"Really?, No recollection at all."

"Not a bit."

"Well Dang Darn Skibobidabu, that sucks immensely."
"You're gonna need a recap on everything, but that can wait till Naya returns."

"Who's Naya?"

"The other Goat."

*POP*

' Dear Princess Twilight Velvet Sparkle, Luna has brought to my attention a few odd creatures that have entered Equestria through unknown means, they are currently "Somewhere" within the Everfree Forest, the fate of these creatures may be in your hooves. It is your duty to locate said creatures and help, or subdue if they prove to be deviants, You may need your friends. These creatures could be something else entirely once you meet them, I'll be waiting for your findings.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia Solaris Invictus
P.S. They might be a problem. Prepare for something huge or something, LOL.

"Really?, that's how she ends it off, at this hour."
Clearly fed up with Celestia's bull

"Wait, what hour is it?,"
She looked outside, to see utter darkness, and the lack of a sun. Then the said lack of a Sun, quickly moved along the midway point of the sky, stopping in the dead center.

"Literally first thing in the morning."

She then got up to get ready for the day, quickly putting on some morning slippers, and brushing her hair and teeth, With separate brushes 'respectively'. After, she teleported to the kitchen to start up some coffee, and then to spikes room to wake him up for the day.

They were both tired, let's just say that. Until they got some good ole' Cups O' Joe. Then they were just mostly tired, with a bit of pep to their step.
They probably drank too much coffee in general.
Spike was making breakfast for the both of them, just some simple omelets really. But a morning without breakfast is a moment to be dreaded.

"So Twi, why are we up so early again?"
He said slowly, standing on top of stool near the stove.

"Because Celestia and Luna noticed some strange new threat in Equestria, that showed up overnight."

"I feel like this happens every other day, can't we just let the threat take over Equestria, I'm not really feeling it right now."
Clear dread and morning grogginess in his voice.

"I wish, but the sisters still weren't clear as to if the threat is an enemy of ours yet, they want us to find out."
"WHICH WE WILL DO, if not to save Equestria, then to help some creatures in need if they are friendly."

"Ugh, I hate it when your right twilight."
He said well clumsily sliding an omelet on a plate and over to her.

"I know spike, thank you for the breakfast."

"Your welcome, hhf-"
"Sorry twi, i think I'm gonna be sick."
He said well running out of the kitchen.

" Ohhhh spike, just lay down and get some rest, I'll get some stomach medicine from fluttershy."

She finished her food and prepared to leave and gather the girls. She decided to leave spike at home, since he wasn't feeling it today.

She quickly flew over to fluttershy's abode, and not so quickly knocked on her door.
"Coming!, Just give me one second."

The door opened to reveal a bead headed Fluttershy in its place,

"Twilight!, What brings you over here this early?, come on in. OH, im sorry about the mess, I wasn't expecting anyone to come over this early, Harry had a nightmare last night."

Still standing in the doorway,
"Spike was sick, so I came over hoping you had some medicine or an herbal mixture for his stomach."

"Oh my, I'll go get some medicine for spike, also please come in, the door should probably stay shut."

"Oh, yes, of course."
She entered the door
"WOW!, looks like Harry did a number in here."

From the doorway, she could see that Harry accidentally became a terrible homedecorator. All of the Birdhouses, on the floor. The couch, everywhere. Oh, and claw marks, marked her entire interior.

"Also, I meant to mention that the Princesses have discovered a few new unexpected creatures in the Everfree forest."

"Well that would explain the nightmares."

"They want us to find the creatures, and do what we usually do."

"Do we Jump at the opportunity to befriend new creatures?"

"No, well yes, but not now,""
"Now, we Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome."

They were ready now, but ready for what?

The 3rd Chapter or Sum Shit

The goat keeper and his goat walked, not in any particular direction, aimlessly really, But they managed to Find a path of sorts. They had barely moved from their starting position. One of them didn't really know where they were going, and the other didn't really care, so it didn't Really matter.

"SOOooooo, Goat, What's your name?"
He said well patting said goat on his head.

"It's Iniko, and yours isn't -"
He pauses to sigh.
"Goat keeper."
"It's Meliek."
He finished with brushing the previously named meliek's hand off his head.

"Meliek huh, sounds kinda cool."

"Yes, you indeed are, you are THE ONE, THE ONLY,Meliek Shalkowski. The mostst, bestestest, greatestestest goat farmer to ever live or walk the face of the earth or oyster."

"Hey, why do I feel like I'm falling asle---"

He utterly passed out again.

Where am I, why's it so dark in here. Wait, I was just talking to my goat, and he said something, something familiar. I'm Meliek Shalkowski, the bestst goat farmer to ever live or walk the face of the earth or oyster.

I can still move, and I don't think I'm in the dream realm. I cant see but my eyes are open, and I can feel the wooden floor beneath my feet. It smells like a home, it's warm and cozy and dark. I'm now walking towards a light that's behind a door shaped shadow, and I'm creaking the door open.

There's a man on the other side of the lit room, there's me next to a pile of hay and a candle along with a herd of goats. He had just put them all to sleep and covered them with blankets. Justly then, he blew out the candle and moved to his own bed a few feet away, noticably much bigger than him.

As soon as he laid down, the goats got up. Not all of them, just two of them. One a bit stockier than the rest, and the other a bit lankier than the rest.
They then justly jumped into the bed with the other you, they made small bleats as they snuggled next to him, he sure might not have understood them then, but he still said something that stuck.

"I love you the mostst too guys."

Then the other goats joined the sleep pile too.

"Hey!, Snap Out Of It!, Wake Up!, Upside Daisy!, Gutentag!, Somethingg!!."
Iniko said well repeatedly slapping the face of Meliek's entranced Corpse.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!, I'm Up!, I'm Awake!, Ow!, Stop That!"

"Alright, Relax, Calm Down."
He said well stopping his abuse.

"Okay, I'm calm now."

"I SAID YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!"

"Okay!, I'm Calm!, Your Starting To Scare Me!"
"I think I just had a flashback or something."

"That's not good, I mean congratulations, you've been out for like, I don't know, 5 hours."
"I've been waiting and worried sick, we need to get moving and find shelter before night."

"Jesus!, We're Wasting Time, We should get moving."
Then he stopped for a moment of realization.
"Wait, shouldn't we wait for Naya."

"No, she'll find us when she finds us."

"But won't she like, come here?, into this forest?"
"And get lost?"

"No, she'll be fine as long as we're fine."
"We just need to keep moving."
Iniko said well quickening his pace.

"~Oooookaaayyyyyy?"

They continued moving

Spikes stomach medicine was back at the castle, and twilight and her friends were prepared and gathered at Fluttershy's abode. Twilight trusted him to take the bitter liquid on his own. She could trust him to take care of himself, Right?

probably.

"All right girls, first things first!"
"There are multiple creatures in that forest, that could either be dangerous or deadly."

"didn't you say they could also be friendly?"

"Yes, I mean maybe, the princess's were kinda vague on this one."
"We need to prepare for anything, which we've pretty much already done."
She said well putting the last book in her bag.

The other 5 nod their heads in unison.

"Say Twi, why er' we doin' all this preparin' if they might not even be dangerous."
Addled Applejack.

"I don't know, something feels off about this whole situation, but it's probably this."
Twilight pulls out the note written bye Celestia, and points to the PostScript message at the bottom.

"P S, They might be a problem, prepare for something huge, or something, LOL"
Rainbow Dash casually read out loud for everyone.

"Why would she be so nonchalant?, What are these creatures all about?, Who are they?"

"Relax darling, before you stress yourself."
"We can probably handle this just like any other old issue."
Rarity chimed in.

Still calming down
"Okay, we can do this, we just don't know anything about what we're up against."
"Or where they are."
"Or what they're capable of."

"Twi, trust me, we got this."
Applejack added

"Okay, I trust you guys."

"Plus, we have like, the best team for the job, right?"
Dash said well opening the door.

"Uhh, girls."

"Right, "
"I just can't help but worry."

Fake coughing ensues
"Ahem, girls, please keep the door shut until we're leaving."
"Sorry, it's just a lot of scary energy, and the animals feel it differently then we do."
"Also, has anyone else noticed how quiet Pinkies been."

"Sorry flutters, and yeah pinkie, you haven't said a single thing, like, since your good morning hello."
"Are you alright?" Dash said well shutting the door.

"Yeah, I'm okay."
"Last night was kindve a doozie, I've had this weird feeling in my belly since this morning, and it feels like my pinkie sense."
"But it's not, it's different."

"Did you eat breakfast?"

"A little, I wasn't all that hungry."
"Maybe I'll be hungry later, but for now I think we should start looking for those creatures."

"Alright then girls, it's settled."
Twilight said as she took a stance
"Things might get a little weird, and we're gonna have to put a stop to it."

Everypony put their hooves in the circle and lifted them up.
"Let's move out!"
Twi said with a slight hint of fear belying her exterior expression.

Author's Note

Meliek is pronounced (Muh-Leek)

Also I just finished a 2 week vacation in Florida for spring break, and I will be writing more, maybe sporadically if need be.
Also march 28th is my birthday, YAY!, I'm 17 now.

-Stay tuned

Another, 3 Story Joke

Author's Note

Probably Higher.

Another, 3 Story Joke

On a very particular farm:
The clouds we're still grey, and the raining had just finished it's cycle. The pasture was still, and little more than the meow of a few housecats filled the air, except for...

*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*

Three quick knocks to the door of an empty home.

"HEELLOOOOOoooo,"
"ANYONE HOOOME!"
she said with gusto and two hands cupped around her mouth.

She was dressed in a little girlsscout uniform, clad with little bronze pins to button her up. To most people she would appear to be a cute little girl selling cookies, but to a very perculier farmer she could almost appear as a tumor on his backside.

And noting the lack of Mr. Shalkowski, she was annoyed at the lack of an overreacting goat herder.

"What the heck is that crazy bean up too."

She checked the doorknob, and of course he just happened to leave it unlocked, unattended, and basically free range to anyone who's comfortable enough to enter. A devious smile spread across her face,and you know she was going to have some fun with this.

Or at least you think you know she thinks that she was going to have some fun with this...
She said in a sing-songy voice,
"OOOHH MR. MELIKO, IF YOUR NOT HOME AT THE MOMENT, IM COMING IIIIIINNN. "
And she walked in the front door,

In the in-between:
WELL
"We'll see what happens..."

Up on Mt. Everhoof:
She stood at the barrier, the only thing between her and the bell. The Magical barrier, cast by the Glorious Gusty The Great. She backed up to the edge of the cliff and prepared to charge through it head on.

She harnessed the mystical and cosmic energies her brother had helped her gather, she focused it into her ram-like horns and ran.

*CRASH*

She had shattered Gusty's so called great barrier, the force she used causing her to eat dust.

"So much for Gusty the Great, more like Musty the taint."
She scoffed, even though she knew he was powerful, she didn't care. No point in Not razzing the old and dead.

So, she was finished with step 1, on to step 2. Snagging the Bell, and getting the fuck outta here. She strolled through the cave like she owned the place, which I MEAN, she kinda did considering she was a descendant of the Great Grogar and his bell was inside the mountain.

And it had sat there alone for centuries, without supervision or caretaking. So it really was Hers for the claiming. So she justly did just that...

"It really is good to be here, too bad there's no one here to ruin our touching reunion."

She hung the bell around her neck and stepped towards a once impenetrable forcefield. Spitting on the ground on her way out, she then took a stance on the edge of the highest cliff of the tallest mountain and called out to the world.

And using her ancient bell like a megaphone she shouted,
"GUESS WHAT WORLD, I GOT THE THING, AND GUESS WHO DIDN'T!!!"

"YOU, YOU STUPID BITCHES!!!"

"Damn!, it felt good to get that out."
The whole world had felt her message ressonate in their souls.

Especially the two other entities she arrived with,

"AYO!, NYE-Z GOT THE THING!"
Iniko exclaimed standing on his back hooves clearly pumped

"Naya z got what thing, whuut?"
Meliek was Just plainly confused.

"We hyphenate and shorten each other's names sometimes, but that doesn't matter."
"Naya's found the bell."
Niko stated as a matter-of-factly.

"What's the Bell?, Some kind of super powerful ancient relic or something that I should be totally aware of?"

"Yes!, Exactly That!"
"How did you know?"

"I didn't know, I first dreamed about it when we fell asleep, but it makes sense now."
He said, Starting to continue walking.

"I guess that makes sense, we are All connected to it."
Also resuming their trek, until he smelled something Familiar, stewed vegetables, or soup, he didn't know.
"Stop, wait, do you smell that?"

"~Yeah, it smells good~"
Meliek said also stopping in his tracks.

Both of their stomachs rumbled at once, and they were quick to hop on the train of thought.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking pachinko melieko?"

"Honestly, probably."

And they were off in the direction of food to a quench their thirst for solids. They were running, almost tripping over each other following the scent of an immensely good stew. Then meliek tripped and fell down a hill he apparently couldn't stop to look for.

"Ooh-, ow!, Damn!-, Sunnavabiscuit!!"

Iniko, at least managed to stop himself.
"Hey!, are you good down there?"

"Yeah, I think so, the smell is definitely getting closer."

"Yeah, More like, right behind you."
He said pointing a hoof at the window behind meliek.

To which he turned around to see a big pot in the middle of a room past the said window, there was also what appeared to be many different spices and herbs on the shelves.
"Well what are we waiting for!, Let's get in there and eat that unknown soup!"

Slowly Walking down the hill, towards the door
"Hold up, wait a minute."
"There's soup, so obviously someone is making it, and that someone is not in the room right now, we can't just walk in there all Willie nillie."
"We should at least knock and ask, like civilized individuals."

So, as they approached the door. They made note of their surroundings, many little bottles and flasks held upon little strings along the branches of the tree hut. It had a sort of a serene and and ethereal beauty to it, one that they couldn't place an appendage on.

What they could put a appendage on though, was the thing they came for. The soup that was just through the door. So the goat initiated the knock in quite the familiar rythm...

*Knock*, *knockity* *knock* *knock*,
*knock knock*

And the door opened, to reveal a bewildered zebra, but not just any zebra.

"Hello mysterious creature and a goat to boot. I would enjoy some unruly company, if your attitudes are not snoot."
Said the striped rythmically inclined equine.

"We would love to be your unruly company my dear zebra friend, may I ask what is your name?, We wish to eat and mend."
Replied the belying sly one-of-a kind goat

"You shall be new friends, for My name, Zecora, and you may come inside for a time, I wish not to be abhorrent."
"Now come come please, I wish for you to be at ease."
Replied Zecora, a true friend indeed,

or maybe in need...

They could all tell that this was only the start to a beautiful blossoming friendship.
So they moved forward, even if just for some food company, and a little something more...

"There It Is!"

They had been walking for a few hours now, just now entering the deeper, darker parts of the forest.
"GUESS WHAT WORLD, I GOT THE THING, AND GUESS WHO DIDN'T!!!"

"YOU, YOU STUPID BITCHES!!!"

"AAAAAGHHHHH"
All six screamed in unison at the booming raspy feminine voice.

"What was that!?"
Dash asked no one in particular, as she zoomed straight upward to look around.

Rarity was frazzled
"I don't know, but they sound simply brutish!"

"Hey!, The feeling in my tummy went away!"
Pinkie said looking content with her belly now that the weirdness had subsided.
"Also, what's a Bitch?"

"oh my..."

"Well good for you pinkie, but that didn't sound too good to me."
The book horse said looking a little frisky from the intrusion to her eardrums.
"Hey Dash!, You See Anything Up There!."

From how far away it was she could only just make out a silhouette on top of the tallest mountain,
"Not really, but there's somepony?, up on Mt. Everhoof, and the shockwave of that voice is traveling in the opposite direction. So it was probably them."

"What!, How could they get up there?!"
"The magical winds should keep..."
She stops to think,
"Well, Anyone from climbing to the top!"

"Well, they're up there, and that means there's pretty much nothing we can do about it!"

"It's probably one of the creatures the princesses mentioned, and so far I'm not feeling so good about finding the others."
Twilight was doubting herself, But she knew she would be able to confront them with her friends by her side.
"Is there anymore movement up there!."

Using her hooves like fake binoculars.
"Uhh, no, she's just standing there!."

"Oooooh, Menacing."
Pinkie interjected.

"Yes pinkie, very."
Applejack finished the thought.

"Uhh twi, would it be wrong to think she's looking at me!"
"Like, directly at me!"
Dash was getting a little freaked out at the prospect.

"Yes, that wouldn't really make any sense, pegasus eyesight is nearly the best out of every living creature we've seen in our animal kin-"
"TWI!, SHE JUST JUMPED OFF!"
Dash cut her off, before she could finish her very important statistical fact.

Dash came down to the ground much quicker than her ascension,
"Guys!, She's Coming After Us!, What Are You Guys Doing Just Standing There!, Run!, Hide!, Do Something!"

Everyone starts to panic a little before Twilight catches Dash's drift and plans,
"Alright Girls!, let's split up and wait for them, hide!, conceal!, do anything, I don't care, just don't get caught."

"Yay! Guess we're playing Hide-N-Seek now!"
"Heeey, wait a minute!, nopony's told me what bitch means yet?!"
Pinkie concluded.

"I can explain later pinkie..."
Fluttershy said well jumping into the nearest bush.

Iniko and Meliek have sat inside the tree hut, and they had just introduced themselves when both of their stomachs rumbled again.

"So I take it you two are hungry, that's why you've come here."
"If I give you some bowls of stew will you tell me why you are near?"
Zecora asked without fear.

"Yes, please, we would love to talk and eat."
"But a friend of mine, brings a question to mind" "Do you have any Meat?"
"And though that may sound ominous, I swear he's just omnivorous."

"Yes,Though that is unsettling, I have been known to track."
"It is not such a fickle thing, I can get some from the back."
She starts walking towards a little closet looking door, and goes in to procure the foodstuffs.

"Sorry Meliek, I do not know your taste, would you mind helping me not lay waste?"

"Sure, I could help, but I don't really know what kinda meat I would like either."
"And sorry, but I can't keep up with your guys's sick rymes."
So he approaches the small looking door, and walks in to reveal a much bigger room filled with head to toe, rows upon rows of preserved ingredients for all kinds of food, probably.

Zecora then gestured for him to follow through the hollow, to take him back to the back to inspect the meat rack.
"I have caught many creatures to jerkify, but they are only for those who are willing to comply."
"From a cockatrice to the birds that fly, is there anything that you would like to try."

"I don't know?, Uhhh, I choose that one!"
Pointing a finger to the second biggest bird on the rack.

"That's a turkey that I found dead in the forest, I simply kept it for passerbys that are racist."

"Nevermind, you choose for me."
He said well dissing the unsaid good looking hunk of meat.

"Why don't we start with a squirrel ding-a-ling, that will be good for a stomach that's rumbling."

Meliek looked a little anxious,
"Where did the squirrel come from?"

"That darndest squirrel came through my front window!, I do not regret making his wife a widow."

"Oh okay, good to know it's justified."

All of a sudden, Iniko comes in through the door as well as yelling sum shit,
"Guys I think I heard somebody scream or something, are you guys good right now?!"
"Also, What's Taking You Guys So Long, I Wanna Get Some Grub In My Belly Already!"
And all of a sudden, A huge inhale from the goat
"Oh My God, Is That What I Think It Is!?"
Pointing his hoof at a small row of plants, just feet away from the meat rack.

Zecora picked up the hint of the moment and looked to her left
"If you know that which you are referring to, then yes, you will not feel at all blue."

Meliek glanced over, but it did not spark the same reaction as he did not know to which they were referring too.
"What do you mean guys?"
"I don't get it."

Iniko answered his question in kind
"Meliek, don't even worry, it's gonna be just fine."
"We may have just found one of your favorite pastimes."

"Yes, Meliek, do not worry about a thing, if you go out and grab some soup, I will show you what I bring."
"As well as meat, but that's beside the thing.

"I still don't know what you guys are
on about but okay."

So they continued moving forward,
Out of zecora's big ass preserve closet.

Author's Note

Shits bout to go down...

- Sincerely Ya Boi Satan

Big update hours

Chapter 4 was 3 and 5 was prev, but where'd the 2 go

Naya stood at the cliff of the mountain, taking in the sights to behold. It was nice here; Simple, Relaxing, and Peaceful. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling little clouds of condensation through her nostrils.

For only arriving a little while ago, it's felt like a strangely long time since she took a moment to enjoy the moment herself. It was nice and cold, but she failed to enjoy the moment completely.

Because her touching reunion was interrupted,
Far off, clearly well off in the distance, above her starting position. Above the forest, was a light blue pony, how she was flying was not a concern.

The only thing that mattered was that they locked eyes with each other for just a second,

A long enough second to come to a conclusion,
"Is this Bitch looking at me?"
"I think she is..."
Then she fucking jumped.

And using HER Bell (once again), she propelled herself forward spewing magic out behind her like a rocket. She was moving towards the forest alarmingly fast, and that small blue pony went back into her little forest even faster.

But in 10 seconds flat, she was back to the forest floor.
She was back at the beginning; Ready to find some old friends, and ready to kick/headbutt some half-horse ass. For the most part, it seemed like she knew exactly what she wanted to do, which was good.

She was also alone for now, Which was also good, because it put her on edge. But she still couldn't help the feeling of being watched, it was disturbing. She couldn't see anyone, but she could definitely Feel Them.

She focused for only a moment, and found that her companions we're doing just fine, with some new fellow too. Deals and gathering, sure did it's magic. But feeling the residual ambience around her, put her back on track, actually getting to said companions and catching up.

Speaking of, she had already started sprinting through the forest, and if she didn't slow down They might not catch up. So she ubruptly stopped and waited, turning around as if she would catch someone moving out In the open.

But she didn't, so she continued until she came upon the tree hut in which her family resides. Just turning her ears up at a small eep! out of the bush behind her. She then focused for the last time today, and gave her brother a simple message through his head,
"Hey, it's me. Hide Meliek real quick, tell the new one to go with it, I'll make us invisible when I come in."

"Aight u got it, just wait till you see what we found."
"Its fuckin crazy yo."
Niko replied,

"Oh, I AlreadyKnow."
Naya concluded,
She then rapidly approached the door and stopped in front of it, and knocked in a quite the Familiar rythm.

*Knock*, *knockity* *knock* *knock*,
*knock knock*

"Hello dear new stranger friend. I'm currently respecting your privacy by knocking on the door, but asserting my authority as the Next Omnipotent Goat Overlord by coming in anyway."
Then she rushed it inside as fast as possible and cloaked herself and her brother in invisibility.

"okay zecora, we're gonna need you to act like a goat didn't just bust into your house,
got it?"
Iniko asked under his breath,

"A friend indeed helps a friend in need, but just this once, and then you will leave."
"If you two are in trouble, I would not like to be housing the double."

"Alright, we can explain later too, still friends?"

"Yes indeed, it is strong and not weak, a bond We share between You, Your Stranger, and Meliek."

"thank you, I'd really hate to be here without at least a few friends."
Was his reply,

Then the door came crashing in...

"Oh no, that goat just went in zecora's house."
Fluttershy eeped out,

Dash had started a flying kick alarmingly fast,
"HEEEEYAAA!!!"
*CRASH!*
"Drop And Put Your Hooves Where I Can See Them!"
"Nopony Messes With Our Friends!"
But despite her intrusion to the home, only Zecora stood next to the cauldron in the middle of the room on the coals.

"Hello dash you are indeed my friend, but please explain the excessive door bend."
She said well pouring some scrumptious stew into some fine cut wooden bowls.

"What!?, Where did they go!?, What happened, they just walked in here!"
Fucking Bamboozled,

"What is it dashy?, what do you mean?, Have I not seen what you have seen?"
She said as she pulled up a chair.

Dash took the opportunity to take the seat and spill the beans quite sarcastically,
"Apparently there's some big new threats in Equestria, one of them being a goat last seen just breaking into your house just now."

"Hmm, they seem to be quite the peculiar fellows. I haven't seen anyone in my home, but who knows?"

The other mane 5 take the spotlight for just an instance to make Themselves known at this moment...

Fluttershy was first to questioning,
"Zecora!, did they hurt you, are you alright?"

"Where's that ruffian!"
"That entrance was simply outlandish."
Rarity clearly did not approve of this goat's shenanigans,

"Calm down rare's, they were clearly rude, but that don't mean they're tryna' hurt zecora."
"They were jus' bein' unnecessary 's all."
Applejack loosely defended the newcomer,

twilight was the one to ask the obvious,
"You guys heard what she said right, right!?"

And pinkie seemingly looked like she was fine,
"Yeah, she said she was gonna be the N.O.G.O!"

"I don't even know what that means?"

"Silly twilight, it's an abbreviation, N.O.G.O, Next Omnipotent Goat Overlord. much easier on the tongue wouldn't ya say?"
Pinkie explained as if it was some obvious term.

Dash had to get them all back on track fast,
"Guys!, there isn't a goat in here!, Zecora hasn't even seen anyone!"

"That's impossible!, We just saw them walk through the front door?"
Twi quizzically stated,

"Silly Twi, these creatures are going to have to open your eyes. As long as you forget it's impossible, you can do anything!"

"What do you mean?!, I don't understand you pinkie!, Your not making any sense!"
She was curling up in a ball on the floor at this point,

So Zecora stepped in to stop twlight's mental abuse,
"I'm sorry twilight, but she makes sense in this predicament. It could be possible if they are already omnipotent."

"Wait!, You figured it out! Girls, where did we originally see that goat?"
She said as she pulled out a thick book from her saddlebags,
"Mt. EverHoof, and she announced that she found something."
She was flipping through pages faster than her brain could keep up, until she landed on a page to put her hoof on,

Her voice filled with dread,
"Grogar's Bell. . ."

"This is bad, really bad."
"She must've known we were following her, and brought us here to distract us. well actually going somewhere completely different at the same time, and probably making it impossible to track her or something else."
And she was out of breath.

Zecora was a genius,
"Well you better get to them before their powers continue growing. If any of you are hungry I have some stew for the next showing."

Twi was exhausted and it worked,
Pinkie took a bowl for the road, and they continued going. After they left, Meliek came out of the Big Ass preserve closet thingie, and the reunited siblings uncloaked themselves.

So Zecora became the real O.G.,
"I enjoyed the prolonging of the inevitable, how?, but you 3 have some explaining to do, Now!"

Author's Note

"I literally just got to type A flu, what the fuck!"

Annoying Ass, Virus Ass,
Fucking Ass,
Wait whut?

"Also, Writing for the goats is fun, does anyone else have anymore good goat stories? [Redacted], I say make more, Goatquestria will Prevail!"

Sincerely,
- Ya Boi Satan

The Stststststststst

So, they had sat in zecora's hut. They had snagged some scrumptious stew in some fine cut wooden bowls. Sitting in their chairs idly talkng to pass some time, explanations we're in order after all.

Iniko started,
"We we're all minding our own business on the farm, it was a day almost like any other, but then it showed up."

Naya continued,
"The portal, showed up out of absolutely nowhere right behind us, and Meliek fell in."

"I remember almost nothing before falling in, but with time I think I'll be able to remember."
Meliek added,

Naya continued,
"Me and Niko woke up before him and I decided that since magic was ever present everywhere, we should gather it."

Iniko continued,
"After, Naya left to find something for us, it wasn't necessarily for us, but it was ours."

Naya finished,
"Our bell is little more than a memory in my mind, our great great great great grandfather was the almighty glorious Grogar, and he would surely want us to have it after banishing his lineage to another dimension."

"So we've only been here a day, and are looking for a place to stay."
Iniko tried to explain.

Zecora took the explanation in kind,
"Grogar was a terrible Diety, during his reign by none was he outclassed, but he is gone now and I am similar do you feel it in me?, I see a certain kinship between us outcast's "

"I felt cast aside by my friends, they did not understand my love of magic, so I took my time training my mind to never go back to it."

"Thats terrible!"
Naya said with true sincerity.

"You three may stay for a night each, if necessary more, if you've any other friends they may stay, but no more than four."

"Thank you zecora, I don't know what we'll ever do to repay you."
Meliek was truly greatful for her kindness.

"Don't worry you two, you will have a chance to repay me tomorrow morning to do."
Zecora seemed content with her decision,
And with that in mind, she decided that everybody should finish their food.
So they finished their food, pretty much enjoying most of the veggie stew, the jerked squirrel was also good too.

"~MmmmMmm, that was delicious zecora, thank you for this wonderful meal."
Meliek said well licking his fingertips.
"And I thank the squirrel for being a varmint and getting caught."

"Twas a noble sacrifice indeed."
Monsieur Niko not Melieko replied.

Taking a big drag of a bubble pipe,
(where did that come from???)
"Most Indubitably ~Soooooo..."
Said Countess Ex Mistress Mach-I-Naya,

"I hope everyone has enjoyed their meals without fright, I hope that the chum to my company was in good light."
Zecora began, as the sun of the day had finally started to go down without spite,
"Say it's getting a bit late my friends, tonight.I have an aid of my sleepless nights if you'd like to meet him, alright?"
Now standing up from the chair she had sat in just right.
Now leaving too,
Naya and Iniko both made the same excited face, but Niko spoke first.
"Oh, if only meliek knew of what which we are referring to."

"Yeah what are you guys on about?, This was mentioned earlier in front of me."

Taking another huge hit of bubbles,
"Oooooooh!, This is the part where she brings in her good ole' friend Mary Jahanukuh!.
Naya Revealed to no one in particular,

"Marry Jahovas Hanukkah what!?"

Zecora had come back to calm his butt,
"Do not worry melieko, it will be all better when you are asleep, No?"
She said pulling a healthily potted plant with a rope.

"Ayo Melieko!, That's the Weed!, Bro!"
Iniko replied with non-false hope.

"What weed?, That plant you guys were talking about?"
"What's so special?, I still don't know."

Naya takes the final blow of her bubble pipe and passes it to zecora,
"Get that started Z on the reeze, isn't it easy to tell Meleeek, it's obvee if you nah whattuh mean."

Zecora joined in on the reel,
"What do you mean meliek, you have not broke to it? You must first realize it's importance, and toke to it."
She said holding out the bubble pipe? (that seemingly came out of nowhere), to Meliek.

"Okay, uhhhhhh..."
"Thanks, I guess?"
He said taking the little bubble bowl filled with green stuff,

"Do you, know what to do?"
Naya asked,
"Like, make fire, spark it..."

"No, I can't just make fire with my hands, mind showing me."
Handing it back off to the owner of the bubbler,

"Here, check this out."
She swiped her hoof on the wood floor like a match and struck her hoof on fire. Then quickly putting it to the pipe in her mouth and putting her hoof out.

She then passed it back over to meliek,
He sat there dumbfounded,

"What are you waiting for!, Hit that shit!"
Iniko had to call him out on his wasting of the weedstuffs,

"Alright, alright..."
Pulling his hands up in defense,
"I got it now."
Now pulling the pipe up to his mouth,
And taking the toke,
And Finally Getting It...
And passing out...

I'm am not awake, and I am not asleep, for I am remembering that I know Niko, and I'm Meliek. I'm soothing my aching mind this time, to prove to my family, I'm not weak.
I love taking my time, enjoying things to fill needs.I traveled away, through a hole in the scene, to a place of no memory. Now I am here, back in my home, not out of necessity, but out of want for me.

I'm walking through a door all too familiar now. Taking my time, it's a different memory. Its different though, I'm not in control. I'm going through, I'm feeling sublime.
"I see a number..."
"5669"
I've entered now, the end is nigh. There's a goat to my left, and a goat to my right. I've looked out the window, and it appears to be night. I wonder is this okay?, Is this alright?
I step to the bed, look under instead. Kneel down to the floor, make sure the goats are fed. Grab the key around ones neck, and put it the locket under the others head. Grab the second key, that unlocks under the bed.

To grab the box, locked and untouched. Never to be played with, never to seal lunch. It has a lock too, it's a small safe of sorts. It required numbers, it was different, it was difficult, it was short
"5669"
I said out loud,
It unlocked, but didn't open.
I set it on the dresser and thought nothing of it.
Next to it a bong sat, and It looked unbroken.

I grabbed it with pride, and took it in stride,
but this was from before. I still toked it.
I blew it in the goat's faces, they seemed to enjoy it.

"How was that?, Niko and Nye-Z?"
"Are you guys good?, U need to be put at ease?"

I laid them in my bed, first timers get tired.
"They sleep like the dead.". I yawn like a dying fire,
None of us feel blue.
Then I've laid down too.

I get ready to close my eyes, but if I do then I can't look around. I look to the dresser, and look what I found.
The box I forgot to put away, there on the dresser it still lays. But I'm tired, and I want to sleep for the day, is that okay?

My eyes shut, and I take my time to take the slow route. Drifting off into sleep, not even realizing there's still the box I forgot about.

I couldn't wake up,
"See you guys in the funnies."

Meliek woke up anyway, to two goats sleeping in a bed with him. Sitting up, the hut was silent. Amidst the haze of smoke drifting through the air, Zecora sat alone.
"Hey, Zecora, what're you doing?"
"I'm relaxing under the moonlight, care to join me?, Isn't it a right?"
She rymed casually, not even fazing in the haze.

"Yeah, sure, if that's alright?"
Slowly getting up from his daze.
""So what happened to them?, They have a good time?""
He said, Slightly creaking the wood floor as he tiptoed across to her.

"Yes indeed, after you passed out from your first hit, they had some fun with the weed."
She said taking another small bud off her green godsend.

"How long have you been up for?, they look like they've been out for a while."

"Just a few hours, they shortly got higher than a twin pair of towers."
Now lighting a different pipe, looked hand-carven, hard to tell with all the smoke.
"Do you want some of this smoke, I ask as a fellow not as a bloke."

"Yeah, pass me that..."

So she passed it over to him, but he sat there with a little unease.
...
...
...
"Hey, are you alright my good friend Meliek?, I can tell when someone is uncomfortably meek."

"Yeah, I was just thinking about something. I didn't exactly pass out from that first hit, I don't think..."
He replied, then hit the still burning bowl.

Exhaling the smoke,
"I'm remembering things already, but it's a lot to take in, I don't know what to do, what if something happens to my home well I'm away?"
Realizing his situation and panicking a little,
"What if I can't go back?, what if I can't remember everything?, Will I be just fragments of who my former self was?"
He passed the cashed bowl back to her.

"Meliek!, That's enough of that stirring, your scaring yourself into pain and worry."
"It will be okay if you take it slow, and do not hurry. You just need time, don't create a fury."
Now holding onto his cheeks and looking directly into his eyes.

Meliek visibly un-tenses, then he holds her cheeks.
"Thank you for that, I don't want to stray too far from myself."
Letting go now,
"I'm just trying to figure out what it all means, it felt warming in a way, but It feels so unfamiliar to me, it's to the point where I feel like I have to discover myself all over again."
"This place feels so different from where I once was."
"But it still feels like this could be home..."
"Maybe?... "

"I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point..."

She stopped him right there.
"No Meliek, you have to true meaning in your words, do not disregard these things you've seen and heard."
"If you haven't moved past your past, give in to your needs and don't finish last."
"If you wish to start another life anew, don't forget it and listen to this new you."
...

...

...
Meliek was dumbfounded, but he heard what she said, and listened.
"You know what, your right. I'm gonna make this new world my home!, no matter what hardships or problems I have to face along the way. No one is gonna stop my inevitable progression."
He took a second to lower his volume,

"Thank you zecora, so far I have heard nothing but inspiration and wisdom in your words, and I thank you very deeply for that."

Zecora felt the warmth if his words worm their way into her mind unlike anything else,
"Your very welcome for my inspirational guidance, but tomorrows a big day, and it's about time for silence."
"We shall rest for the day and get some sleep, then we will wake up tomorrow ready to fill our keep."

It was Melieks time to stop her,
"But uhhh, hey, before we go to sleep, you still wanna smoke a little weed?"

"Yes of course, the smoke shall come to thee, though I appreciate your enthusiasm, my little monkey."
Pulling the bowl they finished smoking back out,
"The residents of Ponyville have yet to smoke with me, except for occasionally with pinkie."
In a flash, it was packed, ready to black out.
So for the night they toked until they cashed out, ready to sleep and ready to pass out.

They had had a long day, and they were tired. So Zecora laid down, and Meliek did too. Except he hadn't with Zecora, he had lain with his two.

"I love you two the mostst."
They snuggled up next to him as he wrapped his arms around the both of them,
"I'll see you two in the funnies..."
And he drifted off to finally get some sleep.

Author's Note

Released on 4/22, because 4/22 is 4/20 too.

"Enough with the Fourshadowing, let's get down to business."

Sincerely,
- Ya Boi Satan

Bonus: The Funnies/Interlude Approaches

Author's Note

Bonus is just importance with extra steps.

Also sorry I've been kind've dead, brains been kinda reading for inspiration, been back in school and things couldn't be easier.

Looking forward to our next get together...
-Ya Boi Satan

Bonus: The Funnies/Interlude Approaches

The Dream Realm:

Luna wasn't in the best of moods, actually scratch that, understatement of the Millennium . She had had all day to think about that Goat Keepers departure, she was positively SEETHING.

Princess Luna walked with a modest haste,
"I still can't believe that human could do such a thing, I can only hope his companions are a more cooperative bunch."

She comes to a halt, stomping her hoof in reposte,
"Absolutely Outrageous!"
It wasn't fair and she knew it, the one thing she held power over was up to the dreamers discrepancy.

She paced in the other direction, again, give her a break, she was at least more than partially justified. Nevermind, getting back on track, it was time to confront the shepherd-N-tow.

She was walking upon nothing for an unknown amount of time,(who was counting,really?) until she stumbled upon quite the peculiar sight. Two dreams stood before her.

"Hmm,~most intriguing~, Tis' a shared dream"

One brighter than the other, yet remaining inconspicuous beside it. She chose the brighter option, the single minded dream.
the dream of the human,

It wasn't nothing this time, that's for sure. Princess Luna was shrouded in darkness instead of ethereal nothingness. She couldn't see her own hoof in front of her face. The only thing other than that, was a light outline of a door in the distance.

It was close enough to walk, but far enough to show there was some room in-between for something more, something missing. So she closed the distance, maybe in hopes of learning more about just who this human thinks he is.

*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*

Awkward shuffling is heard,
"Come in!"
A voice replied from the other side,
So she opened the door, to see a small rustic barn/(room?) hybrid, straight ahead lie the many goats on the hay strewn floor. The goat keeper lays upon a large bed on the right side of the room.

"I see you've figured how to dream"

"Something like that, I've been waiting to speak with you again."
He nonchalantly states.

Holding back a light scowl,
"Good, we shan't have it any other way."
"It's good to see you again, too."

Relaxing her shoulders,
"How goes your first day upon equis, surely you have not had any issues."

Slowly recalling the days events.
"It was fun, we made a new friend, we ate food, we did a little hiding, we took some time to unwind, and I learned a little bit more about myself."

Seemingly surprised from the recap,
"Oh really?, Who's this new friend of yours?"

"Some really cool zebra lady that's really good at rhyming, I think her name was Zecora."

Luna chose to keep her distance from anyone she knew personally,
"She seems like a nice mare, what else have you learned about?"

"I learned I really like the taste of squirrel, and that i had a life before (he gestures to everything in general) all this."
"Oh and my name is Meliek"

Her brow furrowed,
"That's good, that's good, what about that bit about hiding?"

He grimaces,
"About that, a bunch of little horses came into zecora's home like bats outta hell, they said something about us being really bad or dangerous or something."

"Naya and Niko would never hurt a soul, I know that for a fact."
"we all love each other like family, so I would know."
He gets up from the bed, looking over all the little goats.

Seemingly,not actually suprised,
"Oh my, I'll see what can be done about such things, surely things will be easier to manage with less on your plate."

"Thank you for the help, for whenever it might make itself known."

No, thank you
"It is dually appreciated for your cooperation within the dream realm."

Sitting down at the edge of the bed,
"I'll see you later Luna, it's fun talking with you."

"You too."
And she was gone, if not to check other dreams then
to give her new friend some space to recuperate his thoughts.

"Peace out."
Was the only statement that slipped past her cuz she had already left.

Slipping out of the sphere of utter incomprehension,
"A much more pleasant experience than last time, "
She trotted a foot over,
"Now we can only hope, the twin goats are at least half as cooperative"

The orb of their dream was dark and shifting ever so slightly. So she stepped forward in order to enter the shared dream, and Immediately her ears are greeted with uproarious laughter.
The void was still dark, nothing of note to make out. Moving forward, Luna was met with a wall. A wall of nothing, yet she couldn't see beyond it.

Following the laughter she walked along the wall,
And she walked,

And walked...

And walked...

And...
"Wherever might they be..."
Walked.

It didn't sound like they were getting any closer. So she continued her trot forwards, walking and walking until she felt a rush of vertigo almost stepping off the ledge of something.
"Well."
"that's a pit of nothing..."
"Tis a good thing we didn't fall down there."

"Too bad!" is a message heard in unison by her.

Then she turned only to find the source of the laughter coming straight at her.
The two goats just had to be following behind her didn't they, yeah they definitely did.

so they tackled her into the pit...

Only to land in a large pool of water. now that Luna was frustrated at best and thoroughly drenched, the twin goats had decided to make themselves known.

They were still laughing!

"Hahahahaha, you shoulda seen the look on your face, uhhg, I'm sorry, that was just too good."
The first stockier male said,

"Nah, she definitely deserved it, that was fucking hilarious."
The second lankier female stated.
"Anyway, we have the bell, in your face."
The thinner goat conjures a dreamed bell to wave in front of the lunar princess's face.

She pushes the bell away with a wet hoof,
"Enough of your rabble!, what are you two planning?!"

She holds a split-hoof to her chest,
"whaaat!, Nothing, we don't know what your talking about."
Taking a step back now.

"What do you mean!, What are you doing with Grogar's bell?"
She stomps a hoof and the water on her disperses,
"And, who are you?"

The boy replies,
"We mean we're not telling you, we're holding it for safekeeping, and you haven't even told us your name yet?"

Luna regains her composure
"We believe we have a right to know, tis' mine and mine sisters kingdom,
my name is Luna Le Nocte Carnifex."
She stated with unnoticed spite,
"Princess of the moon and overseer of the Dream realm, to whom do I owe the pleasure?"
She offers a hoof,

The buck takes it but the doe continues speaking,
"We are known as Iniko and Naya, descendants of grogar and heir to the bell."

Iniko continues,
"We wish to live a new but nice and quiet life without your incrimination."

Luna's brow is furrowed,
"Then why must you antagonize us!, You seem drawn to creating drama!"

Naya continues,
"Cuz it's funny as fuck?"

Niko follows up,
"Honestly, we're kinda've a bunch of goofballs."

These goats were starting to get her goat,
"Stop fooling around, I need answers?!"

"Like how we pulled that little stunt earlier, bringing you down here?"
Niko asks,

"Dreamworld acoustics make it much easier than lucid dreaming."
Naya finishes after skipping a beat.

Iniko has some last thoughts,
"Anyway, we should probably rap this up, we've been going on and on about all this moving business, and don't forget our new landlord zecora."
He pauses to yawn,
"I'm tired of sleeping, and I think it's about time to crack open the peepers..."

Luna would NOT have this happening again,
"Oh No You Do Not!"
She lunged at him, but he vanished and reapeared half a goat over.
Luna missed and tumbled through the wet gravely soil.

"Oh Yes I Do Too.", he walked over towards her, "Because we are busy and we wish to make ease of our issues for the ones we care for, please don't intervene anymore than you need to,
Progression is Inevitable."
Then he was gone

Luna still layed there, she didn't even try to get up. Her face was one of absolute shock, she didn't have time for this. She was tired, she would have just layed there still.

But...

There was still another goat in the room,
"Ya Know?, I didn't think you'd be much of a fighter, but you're ~Fiesty~, I like that."
Naya was approaching now,
"We're true to being goofballs, but Niko Beeko takes time to warm up to annoying ponies, maybe come again tomorrow night, we could be good friends..."
A lightbulb appears above her head,
"Or maybe visit in the waking world sometime, under more casual circumstances rather than fucking hilarious interragation, it might help a little."
She was definitely holding back some snickers.

Luna just layed there dumbfounded, mouth slightly agape.

"Peace Out,"
She said,
"Oh and P.S. don't tell Niko, but if by chance you find Anyone and I mean Anyone looking for Us, Do Not reveal our location, I repeat Do Not Reveal Our Location."
Luna was listening just a bit more intently,
"It's unlikely, but if it happens, be warned, it will cause problems for all parties involved."
She made a final gesture of pointing her hooves to her eyes and back to Luna,

Luna thought,
'My this Naya seems to be a bit intense...'
Until she was ripped from her thoughts as the dream collapsed around her due to both goats having woken.
"Well, looks like we'll be seeing more of each other than I thought, I have future meetings to attend."

She stood up, looking around, so many ponies were still sound asleep, what could they possible have to do so early into the morning. We can only wonder for now.

The Real World:

*Thunk*

*Thunk*

*Stomp*

Stop, what's that sound, that's the sound of the steel toed boots of a 13 year old girl entering the premises of an old farmers unnocupied home.

She cupped her hands and called out,
"Mister Shalkowskiiiiiiiii!"
She switched to a sing-song voice,
"If your REAL-LY not here, THAT means I can DO whatever I WA-ANT!!"

"WELP!, NO STOPPING ME NOW!"
She immediately dashed straight to the kitchen, looking around she spotted a fruit basket on the dining table with only apples in it, a refrigerator with many little drawings and funny pictures of memories. And a gas stove with a metal plate on top, as if it was like a griddle.

Opening the fridge yielded satisfying results, that's where the fresh fruit was, but one thing in particular caught her eye. those Bright Red Big Juicy Strawberries. And off to the side that homemade whipped cream just sitting in the metal bowl it was whipped into, begging to be spread atop some heaven cake. It's called angel food for a reason.

And this little angel was about to go to town, only to look in the pantry and to find "THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO ANGEL FOOD CAKE!", a very dissapointing turn of events. It would have to suffice for now. "FUCKING BULLSHIT!"She turned her saddening experience around by looking for the bedroom of the mildly confusing non present Meliek.

It was right next to the kitchen so it wasn't exactly hard to find, but what caught her eye layed inside. Something she'd never seen before, A large box with a combination lock. 'Mr. Ski wasn't a man of secrets was he?' Anyway, she skipped in and did a combat roll, making no noise at all.

She was faced with around 15- to maybe -21 goats laying on the ground, just sleeping. She loved all of the Little goats, they were her favorite animals, and they all lived just down the road. But despite the fact that all of them we're here, there was still two of them Missing.

She locked noticeably irritated,
"Where Are They?"
It seemed that the two favorites of her favorite species were missing.
'okay, now this is completely uncalled for, this was supposed to be a fun adventure without any bullcrap.'

*SNAP*

"Done."

*Crackle POP!*
A flash emits from behind her in in the middle of the bed, and what lays there changes everything.

A piece of paper, no bigger than an inch in width.

'A sign from the universe!'
She ran over to the bed as quick as possible making plenty of noise with her heavy boots, So much noise infact that the goats woke up. But that didn't matter right now.

She yanked it off the sheets, looking over it then smiled Very mischievously. a few goats hopped up with her, only to eat the paper. Keeping the number in her head she rushed over to the Ancestral box of secrets.

"Alright, here we go."

"5,"

"6,"

"69, hehe."

*KABOOM*

The box exploded leaving black soot on the dresser it was on top of, revealing a few items where it previously laid. The goats were all sitting now, paying there full attention.

'A small metal skull ring'
"Nice, but I can't take that, that would be stealing."

'A lebron James pez dispenser'
https://photos.app.goo.gl/SxbL7wsvwDMJwVYn6
"Funny, but no."

'oooh, a peep!'
"I'm sure he won't mind, right?"
But as soon as she reached for it,

It stated in a deep and powerful voice,
"I do Mind, please refrain from consuming me."
Then it floated upwards into the air.

"What the fuck?"
Was all she could say, 'what the hell is this, some kinda joke.'

"It is no mere joke, yes I can read your thoughts."
Yep, it could read her thoughts, she was screwed.

'what the hell have I just discovered?',
"Who in the heck are you?"

It laughed, mocking her.
"You did not discover me, I am a being that has existed since the beginning of time, an eldritch entity that feeds on desire, all powerful, all knowing."
The Eldritch Peep floated down to eye level,
"I merely took the form of something you couldn't resist, in order to bring you to me for decisions I am to make."

She had realized something,
"So if your all powe-"
She was cut off,
"Will I be able to grant your wishes?, Yes, but at a cost."

"Cool cuz I need a few things."
She stepped back and put her finger to her chin in thought,
"Okay, first things first, I need angel food cake."
Nothing Happened.

"For me to heed your call, you need to say I WISH, as well as the Magic Words."

'I don't know any magic words?!',
"What are the magic words?"

"Please and Thank You."
It stated as if it was the most obvious thing ever.
"And be specific."

"Alright, I wish for an infinite supply of Angel Food Cake, Please and Thank You. "
She asked,

He received,
"Granted, The price is your Morality, you will not feel bad for your wrong actions and this will be noticed by others, Irony has always been the best punishment."

She immediately started conjuring slices of angel food cake, and throwing them around the room, just to display her new power. Even if she was making a mess, she didn't care anymore.

At Least before she had restraint,
"I've decided upon my second wish, I wish for the slapping power of Vasily Kamatski, my favorite Slapping Champion, Please and Thank You."
She all but demanded,

He Complied,
"Granted, The Cost is your curse, you will lose your temper, you will not hesitate to fight anyone that angers you or gets in your way, even if you lose you will hurt them in a way that makes you unforgettable."

She stood radiating with near unfathomable power,
"I have my final wish, but before we do anything I need to grab something."
She left the peep floating in the air, and left for the living room.

Above the fireplace, on the mantle, something she resisted playing with for a long time. Was hers for the taking, the gilded drum shotgun. his prized possession, his offense and defense. He probably needed it with how much money his farm pulled in.

She pulled it off the mantle and inspected it's weight, 'definitely heavy duty.' she thought, then grabbed the shells right next to the unlit fireplace. Walking back into the kitchen she noticed the back door slightly open.

Walking back into Mr. Shalkowski's room, she noticed an alpaca sitting in front of the Peep, blowing lots of raspberries and spit everywhere in his face.

"Granted, you will be given enhanced phallical structure, in turn your cost, will be the death of those you Care Intimately About, Heed the warning, do not get attached so easily."

She stepped pass the door,
"Taint Muncher, is that you?"
He turned his head so quick he broke the sound barrier, then tackle hugged her onto the ground.
"I missed you too buddy."
Taint Muncher was the breeder alpaca Of the Shalkowski estate, not that anyone knew how important he was for birthing good alpacas, besides really good friends of the Ski's.

She stood up and brushed the dust off her self, then walked back up to the Peep, "I'm ready for my final wish."
Taint Muncher spits in agreement,

"I wish for you to help me get Mr. Shalkowski and the Goats back!"
Nothing happened,

"And,"
He states,

"Please and Thank You."

"Granted, your final wish will come with the greatest cost, from your greed you've sprouted sin, your soul will be mine once you die, free to whatever whim is needed from me, do you accept your final terms?"

"Yes, I'm ready."
And with that, she sold her soul to YaBoi PeepSatan.

"If my aid is ever needed I will be in the box waiting..."
With that the box came back and it was sealed once again. With that also done a portal opened up leading to the front door of a Crystal Tree Castle, she would now begin her adventure of finding him, and bringing him back.

Even if it was so she could torment him, it was all in good fun. A black cat suddenly whipped past her and through the portal.
"Ehh, probably not important."
Beckoning taint muncher to follow her,
She grabbed the skull ring and left.

2 MorroW

Author's Note

"This is the true introduction, be prepared."
-im back, Sorry im literally the slowest person ever sometimes,

2 MorroW

So ya see, that cat from earlier was actually important, I was jus' being sneaky and didn't tell you, 'Shhhh!', "Huh?", Annoying "Hush, they're walking through the doors right now."

Anyway, the cat from just now was Snoopin' around the Magical Mystery Tree, with a 'Little Miss Prim' trailing loosely behind and a Fluffy Alpaca Friend also making his way. Both looking to bring the Trouble, and make it Double.

First exploring the rightmost doorless doorway, a small kitchenette makes itself known, but honestly Lil Prim 'N company ain't very hungry. So they move on to the inside of what looks to be a large living area, lined with quote unquote, Da Tallest Bookshelves You've Eva Seen.

Naturally this all took place on the first floor.
Until it wasn't anymore, because the cat decided to wonder her way up to the second. The others were deemed to follow because 'Follow the cat, why not?', seemed to be the best mindset at the time.

At the end of an unnecessarily tall staircase, they met a hall, with a seemingly endless row of doors stretching across it. It was perpendicular to the staircase.
"Jesus!, This place is a whole lot bigger on the inside."
the little scout said,
She shrugs,
"Probably bull-," *Meow*

"Hey!, Ninja, Shut the- *Meow* -up, Hey!, stop interrupting my curse words."

*Meow*

She sighs,
"Oh My *Meow*, please just shut up..."

*Mrreow*

"I'm Done."
She starts reaching for the cat, only for the cat to run away.
"Get back here you little *Meow*-er!, Ughhh!!!"

Cue Benny Hill chase scene...

So Lil Miss was Chasing Ninja down the hall, with an alpaca close behind. Ninja suddenly entered an open door, only to exit a door on the other side of the hallway. This continued until every door had been opened and shut. Needless to say it was very loud, so it wasn't unlikely that a little dragon would soon wake up

Cue end of Benny Hill chase,

The Stock Record Stop Sound Effect plays as a door opens on the scene of a little girl about to punt a cat like a football, and a very Derpy looking Alpaca eating a rug that they probably found in a storage closet nearby.
Quite a sight to behold for a 3 foot tall dragon that's probably fed up with this shit already.

"Uhhhh, this isn't what it looks like?"
She says unconvincingly,

"UUHH!, Twilight!, You Might wanna come see this!"
one purple flash and a second of realization hits them.

They've been caught causing a ruckus, so she starts running. Taking a sec to line up a serve, she punts the cat out of the nearest window.
"Touchdown!!!"
"Lets get outta this Bitch!"
and they were skedaddling out,

then they hear someone,
"Wait!"
and it does not sound like a good idea to stick around.

They're going down the stairs, when the door is surrounded in a purple aura. And it shuts, leaving them inside at the mercy of whomever owned this estate.
"Tell me why you're hear?"
*huff* *huff*
"Please, I need to know..."
clearly out of breath from chasing them.

Well they were cornered now, so its not like they had much of a choice in whether or not they would be answering questions,
"We kinda came to look for Mr. Shalkowski and his goats, hope it isn't too much of an issue. we'll be Here, in this world until we get him back."

Twilight felt a chill down her spine, as if it wasn't an end goal as much as a statement.
"I saw one of them too, It was a goat, i'm actually looking for them right now. Well I mean, I was before I went to sleep tonight."

She smiled a little bit too widely at that,
"Well maybe I can help you look later, i'm gonna conduct my own search. Try and find something of value, or information, whichever comes first."
She gestures to the giant double doors with her hands, "Can you open this now, Please and Thank You."

"Sorry, but not yet, you're the first actual lead we've had, you know something about these creatures."
She poofs a paper and quill into existence
"I'm gonna have to ask, do you mind if I ask a few questions before you go?"

"Uhhhhhh, yeah i'm gonna haf-ta say no."
Twilight is flabbergasted by this.
"Sorry, maybe i'll come by tomorrow and we can talk about it."

Twilight looks pleadingly at her,
"i'd really prefer if you stayed, you know, just for a little while..."
The glow on the door strengthened a bit,
"two minutes, then you can go about your business."

Lil Miss was un-amused,
"i gave you my answer, right?"
she starts tapping her foot.

Twi is feeling like this isn't going as planned,
"Please..."
she looks around anxiously,
"one minute."

Miss Prim looked like she was contemplating it,
She wasn't,
"No Means No."
It was kinda funny though making this lady get like this though.

This was turning out to be a not very productive morning,
"30 seconds?"
Twi asks in a very meek voice,

Yeah this is pretty funny,
"I'm really sorry but I gotta go, got some errands to run and stuff. Your getting desperate, i'm getting bitches, so I'm outta here."

Now Twi was just frustrated.
"There's that word again, okay, one question?, who and what is Bitches?, then you can leave."

And now shes grinning mischievously,
"Alright Horse Lady, I'll answer your one question."
She takes a step forward and puts a hand on her hip well pretend holding a microphone in her other hand,
"Term: Bitches, Definition: A derogatory term past used for Female's of the Canine Variety."

Now Twilight was just confused,
"Then whats the current definition?"

She walked, Right, Fucking, Into, It,
"You!, Peace Gigga!"
Lil Prim then Smacks the Hell outta the Ginormous Double Doors, causing them to both fly off their crystalline hinges.

Twilight stares dumbfounded as the scene lays out, The doors fly out into ponyville stopping just short of somepony's house. Lil Prim Flips her off with both fingers before running out screaming "Stranger Danger!" and "No Means No!" in a very childish voice.

She starts to hope nopony is up yet,
"Spike!"
He starts walking down the stairs nonchalantly,
"Take a Note to Princess Celestia."
He already has the quill on the paper when she says,
"We have a problem on our hooves."

So that Cat, The Black One, The Gigga. She was flying through the air, but that was only until she wasn't.
*Crash*

Shattering the Discord mural, Ninja lands on all four paws, breaking all four legs and dying. Only to revive through a very grotesque process of bending and rebuilding the primary structures for living.
"8 left..."
She continues walking forward like nothing happened,
Moving amongst the shadows and pillers alike.
Bobbing and weaving around guards and maids that pass by every so often.
Surprisingly never being seen once, Ninja manages to make her way over to a celestially themed ornate looking door, covered in small designs of lunar extravagance and constellations alike.

The door was exceedingly easy to open, as is, there was no lock. But this was probably planned considering the floor was creaking.
"Who goes there?"
Not an unexpected question,
Ninja meows loud enough for Luna to know who has arrived.
Luna steps into the room from her balcony,
"A Small feline?"
"However did you find yourself in my bedchambers?"

Ninja starts talking much to Luna's dismay.
"I've arrived in the most efficient manner possible, and I need to relay a message to your majesty, someone is looking for Meilek, she WILL arrive looking for him here, at some point, Don't Tell Her."

Luna adopts a very serious look on her face,
"Well this is quite the unexpected development, we'll make sure to keep his location secret."
She tries to ask a question of her own but is rudely interrupted,
"Listen when I say this, The Little One is not who they seem."

Ninja starts to back away into the shadows behind her,
"Wait!"
Luna stops her just in time,
"Before you depart, tell me, will you return?"

No, not yet,
"In due time."
Only when She is most needed.
She backed away as the door opened, the sun had risen now.

*Yaaaaawwwwwn*

Meliek smacks his dry lips together,
"Good morning me."
"Niko, Naya?"
...
"You guys there?"
There was no one else in the bed,
"Zecora..."
No response,
"HEY ZECORA!, ARE YOU STILL HERE!"

"Meliek please relax I am here, there is no need to live in fear."
Zecora spoke from around the corner,

Meliek starts to get up out of the bed only to see zecora walk in with a small saddlebag attached to her side,
"Meliek It hurts to say that the goats have left this morning, but they are just looking, so don't be mourning."
He shifts uncomfortably, he wasn't used to this. Was he?
"Anyways, we have much to do, I've been out foraging and need you to too."
zecora gestures for him to follow her with a hoof,

So he follows blindly, little does he know what hes getting into. they round a corner and sit by the cauldron. Zecora pulls out the bowl they used last night. In the light without the haze its much easier to discern the markings, it looks very tribal almost sacred. It fits the aesthetic of Zecora's homestead well, and probably her original home as well.
She sparks it with what looks like a homemade matchstick.

As They hit the bowl, and pass it back and forth, exchanging little tidbits of info.
"these herbs right here are not hard to find, after we are done collecting, they shall bind."
Zecora, grabs a book out of her bag, it has a picture of what looks like a fern plant on the front,
"This is the book used to find what I need."
She starts flipping pages until she lands on a particularly blue flower.
"Help me get these, and you, I will feed."

Meliek nods his head in agreement,
*Cough*
*Cough*
"I think I can do that, just gimme a second, or some water."
Zecora gets up out of her chair, and fetch's a bowl of water.

When she returns, she also has a cloak.
"Listen Meliek and listen well, These flowers can put you through hell."
"So can meddlesome ponies, they don't always mean well."
"Take this cloak to conceal your true identity, then return to me with flowers a plenty."

With that she takes both bowls back, finishes the burning one off, and trots off to go do zebra things. Meliek on the other hand dons the cloak, and it doesn't really fit. like, at all, but that's okay, its not like there's anybody casually strolling through the forest right now.
He makes his way out the door to look for flowers, only for zecora to stop him,
"Meliek whatever you do, do not stray from the path, it keeps you safe so you can laugh."
After that little missing tidbit, he was gone.

trudging onward's, keeping her words in mind he stuck to the path. His head was just barely concealed with the cloak rapped around him, only the tip of his nose was visible from underneath the hood. As he walked along the path, many different flora and fauna made themselves known, But it all becomes a blur as he walks by without a second glance. His eyes are searching for only one flower in particular, Poison Joke, but he doesn't know that.
A Cardinal flies past him overhead and he thinks nothing of it.

"So, you think we should do anything."
Iniko contemplates,

The lankier one replies with a snide remark,
"Nah, shes their problem, until she finds us."

The stocky one keeps the conversation going,
"Y'know its kinda funny we can just sit in this bush and remain undetected for so long, like, you think someone would have found us by now."

"That actually makes a lot of sense, why hasn't anyone found us yet?"
She replies while simultaneously not noticing the rustling of the leaves behind the both of them.

"Muffin?"

"No Not right now, i'm busy discussing how we haven't been found yet."
wait...
who is this?,
"AHHHHHHHH!"
"Muffin?"

"Oh My God, please Don't scare me like that again."
It's just a special one.

Niko jumps in aswell.
"Naya, you might wanna look at this, shes looking at the bush."

She already knows,
"Yeah, Shes looking right at me, and somewhere off in the distance?"

Niko Repeats,
"No, SHE is looking at the bush."

"Muffin?"

Naya finally answers the Special pony looking at her,
"What!?"

"Muffin?"

"Yes you can have a muffin, just please stop giving away our position."
She conjures up a muffin with magic,
"Now. go away, please and thank you."
That seems to satisfy the muffins for brains pony distracting them. She trots off with that and Little Prim seems to keep watching her.

Or so she seems to keep watching the derpy pony, As her eyes slowly retract back towards the bush followed by the alpacas vision.
She calls to them, as if she knows.
"Helllllooooooo!, anybody in there. if your watching me i wouldn't be surprised, I am kinda Amazing."
she was still atleast a good ten meters away,

Iniko was having trouble believing this, she was going to find them already,
"c'mon Naya we need a distraction or something."

Naya keeps her demeanor much calmer than her brother,
"What we need is some magic, shut the fuck up for a second."

The child starts her countdown of destruction,
"1 2 3, get off my father's apple tree."
Still stepping closer,
"Or, YOUR IT!"
feet away from their ingenious hiding spot,
"1"
...
"2"
...
"3!"
Primrose says as she pulls back the cover of the bush, only to reveal nothing at all

She scratches her head in confusion,
"I could've swore i saw a pony sticking their head in here."
Letting go of the brush she was still holding onto with her other hand, she puts a finger to her chin in thought. That's when she notices that she's been caught up in her own thoughts, and she's gathered a crowd of curious ponies.
"Hey!, What's the big idea, can't you see I'm busy walking here!"

Many towns ponies recoil from the suddenness of her yelling, except one of course.
"What's the big idea!?"
A particularly blue pony with rainbow hair, that's who,
"What's your big idea?, Nopony's seen anything like you before, are you the thing the princesses were talking about?"

Well that's unexpected, someone who challenges prims holy conquest for goats.
"I am the big idea, I have plans, you little ponies can get in the way of that. I am looking for the thing your so called 'princesses's' we're talking about."
Finger quotes included.

The rainbow hued horse sensed the sarcasm quite unsurprisingly,
"Hey!, Watch it, no pony badmouths the princess."

"Oh, Puh-lease!, if anything i'm doing them a favour, you can relax your bisexual horse mouth."
She finishes off and starts to walk away,

Only to be stopped by another horse, this one was very orange. This is a very cringe fact, especially considering she had apples on her ass and not oranges. Like nothing beats a good apple and all, but Orange's are king in the citrus fruits department.
"Now hold on there sugarcube, we all got things to do, but you don't have to try n' be a stick n' tha' mud, just come with us we can get all this trans-die'mensional phooey outa' tha' way."

She last thing applebottoms was expecting was a smack in the face,
*Smack*
But that's what happened anyway, and she was off running.

Applejack was sprawled out in the grass unconscious,
Rainbow was dashing after her as soon as the events unfolded,
"Hey!, That was so Not cool!"
Dash wasn't having trouble with apprehending the mischievous thing,
"Get back here you little... little whatever you are!"

Until she got into the crowd, Ms. Prim was very good at weaving between all the different ponies in the way. Keeping her distance, she lunges away from dash into a nearby alleyway. Going between the buildings she was able to lose sight of her for a split second, which was all she needed. Jumping into a dumpster, she fishes the Shotgun off her back. Barely taking a second to load it with the shells she had stole.

Dash passes above the trashcan so quick, she barely had a millisecond to react to her approach, She stuck her head out and pointed the boom stick her direction, from behind she would hit the ground before she would notice the death in tube that awaited her. Only when she pulled the trigger, did she realize her mistake.

*BANG!!!*

"Jesus Christ That's loud!"
But her target did not fall, she only yelled out in pain.

Dash started turning,
"Sweet Celestia That hurts!"
Only for her words to fall on deaf ears, her own.

"Shit!, I grabbed the fucking Blanks!"
Turning back around and leaving the alleyway, she noticed that the other ponies had begun to panic. Virtually causing a stampede, but that wouldn't stop her, this was a welcome distraction. She entered the crowd again, only to be stopped by a pair of blue hooves and wings tackling her to the ground, this wasn't gonna be fun.
"What in Tartarus did you do!"
She began laying down a flurry of blows on the unknown escapee,
"Why?, why are you running from us?"
Ms. Prim engages with her an impromptu wrestling match to get dash off of her, being a child it wasn't easy, but she eventually got on top of rainbow.

"I need to find someone important to me... And all you little ponies are trying to ask me questions!, trying to stop me!"
She smacks her across the snout, putting her out cold,
"But I won't have it."
The Fight had been ended, and with it the rest of the stampede.

They were all likely inside shitting themselves, but that's still up to debate.
Primrose stood up to walk over to her companion alpaca, still sitting there as dumb as ever,
"What do you think of this?, Bitch Maker?"
He was staring off into the distance, seemingly lost in thought.
*Blows Raspberries*

True Dat,
"Excellent observation, It was too easy. Somethings not right here."
She feigns a thinking posture, She's a thinker after all.
"I think we need to have a talk with these 'so called princesses's' of theirs."
Well, theres only one way to start finding magical pony princesses's.
Wandering Aimlessly, until helpful information is found.
With that said she began walking aimlessly around Ponyville.
Hopefully finding something useful, not even Paying attention to the Pink mare following her from behind.