Let's Call A Spade A Spade
The Town Hall of Ponyville was the hub for many things—festivals, wedding ceremonies, and sometimes even funerals and birthday parties. Some could say that it may well have served as the glue keeping Ponyville together, despite the fact that the ponies operating the building would say something like Harmony and Friendship was actually what was doing that. Indeed, many of the ponies who used its services would say likewise; after all, those two values upheld their entire society. Even the occasional diplomat would agree, if they had visited the building proper.
Today, though, it was being used to hold a meeting—a grim meeting, one that sucked all joviality out of the office and even seemed to dim its colors somewhat. A unicorn in a maroon robe, with a red sash adorned with a golden, emblazoned medallion, paced back and forth in the office before the Mayor's desk. Said Mayor watched him hawkishly, having noticed his normally straight-trimmed mane and tail had a few hairs askew. His eyes, ice blue, were narrowed in annoyance, and though he tried his hardest to keep his ears upright, they twitched every now and again with the desire to pin backwards.
Every now and again, both sets of eyes would flick to a window, and found a planet lingering beyond the horizon—the sister world from which their world had been separated for so long, only for that which had kept them apart to spontaneously break some months ago. Both contemplated the nature of the sister world, yet said nothing about it. Fantasia was mysterious, arcane, and now, unveiled. So many thoughts ran through their head regarding the sister planet, but they knew that, someday, those questions would be answered now that the barrier between them had shattered. Thus, they turned back to one another, shelving their questions about the other planet for another time.
"Chancellor Neighsay, are you absolutely sure the EEA can weigh in on this?" the Mayor asked, worry leaking into her voice.
"Quite," the Chancellor nodded grimly. He lit his horn, and summoned forth a sheaf of stapled papers in his aura, one stuffed to the brim with photographs and illustrations. "For we have received a most interesting report from a little birdie detailing some before-unrealized aspects of our neighboring planet, Fantasia. In addition, we have also received word that one of the… Superintendents we had hired for this particular district has had… subpar performance as of late." He summoned another sheaf of papers, keeping it separate from the first.
The Mayor paled. "M-may I see…?" she asked. The Chancellor obliged her, and let her leaf through the papers. Her face grew paler and paler as she read, even as she realized she could recognize the hoofwriting in the back of her head. "Isn't this… a school report?" she asked, turning to Neighsay for an explanation.
Chancellor Neighsay nodded. "An astute question, the answer to which would be ‘yes,’" he replied. "It had been duplicated, and sent to the highest authorities of the land—who, in turn, sent it to me along with this, Mayor Ivory Scroll." He hoofed over the second sheaf of papers, allowing the Mayor to read through them.
Ivory Scroll leafed through the second sheaf, seeing a bunch of receipts for a string of fancy, but ultimately useless, jewelry items and spa treatments. "And this is…?"
"Seems meaningless, yes?" Chancellor Neighsay said, frowning in disapproval—towards what, Ivory Scroll could only guess. "Take a closer look at the transcripts, if you will." The Mayor did as she was told, and scanned the transcripts, quickly noticing irregularities with them. For starters, the exorbitant amount of bits charged per item, per spa session, per hooficure treatment and mane-do, etc-ad-nauseum. For another, she noticed the dates—somewhat sporadic, but not enough to be infrequent. In fact, it was the opposite of infrequent, and worryingly so. If she were any judge, it may have started well before the barrier between the worlds broke a few months ago, and continued up until three to seven days ago.
"This… this is pricey,” she said, turning to the Chancellor. "And you say the Superintendent of this very town purchased all of this? In the last year alone?"
"Quite," Chancellor Neighsay answered with a nod. "Now ask yourself: How could she have afforded all of that?"
Ivory Scroll put a hoof to her chin and pondered. Everypony in this hamlet of Equestria knew just how much the Superintendent flaunted her wealth… well, it was really her husband's wealth, which he drew from managing an entire business, as well as generational wealth—it was kind of in his family name after all. But, he was the type of stallion to not focus on expensive things, his manse aside—he was a more practical stallion, with a more practical sense of taste. Sure, he would have bought expensive things for his wife to placate her every now and then, but… that didn't answer the question of where the bits used in the transcripts came from.
She turned, once again, to the receipts. She noticed another irregularity—the prices and payments matched down to the exact cent, and no higher. She snorted; the Superintendent wasn't the type to give out tips for anything. She noticed an immaculately-penned comment written on the first receipt. "The sister worlds are ending? Tough luck, buttercup—you're entitled to only the exact amount from me. Just be glad I pay your salary."
Typical. Mayor Ivory Scroll turned to the next receipt, and the next, finding each and every one had some sort of debasing comment written on it, all singing the same depressing tune of 'I'm-better-than-you.' Then she flipped to a few bank notes at the far back of the sheaf that were almost… out of the way. Almost as though somepony didn't want anyone else to see them. She noticed yet another oddity: the name written on the cheques, and who was withdrawing from it. "Ponyville School Funds…" she read slowly, before it dawned on her. She checked the amount withdrawn, and the receipts, and found conclusive matches.
Further along the sheaf, at the very end, she found countless clock-in, and clock-out timesheets… clock-in and clock-out timesheets whose hours didn't match up with a standard school day, let alone a standard business day. Sheets that had been altered with a white liquid that had since dried, allowing writing to have been scribbled on it. The dried liquid had been very carefully removed from the papers, and re-affixed in a corner, allowing her to see that the time sheets left a lot to be desired.
She turned once more to Chancellor Neighsay. "You mean to say…" she trailed off.
The Chancellor grimly nodded. "Yes—this matter is officially beyond your hooves, Mayor Ivory Scroll. I do not mean to disrespect you in any way, but as succinctly as I can understand the situation, you might need to keep a closer eye on such banknotes in the future," he said firmly. "I quite understand; the situation with Fantasia has driven everypony batty, and gaffes in one's scope are to be expected. But you must remember your oath as Mayor."
Mayor Ivory Scroll nodded, and the Chancellor trotted over to put a hoof on her withers. "Do not fret, Mayor. Just pay more attention before something else can slip through the cracks," he said gently.
"Yes, I… thank you, Chancellor." Mayor Ivory Scroll heaved a sigh of relief as he pulled his hoof away. "You're right; this whole situation with Fantasia has made everypony have lapses in their judgment. As for the school report… what are you going to do with it?"
"We're going to debate with the other scholars of the EEA regarding its significance. This is the first report of its kind even covering the sister world, and…" He shuddered. "It leaves much to be desired, the events that have happened over there." He looked at her squarely. "You have met with the Fantasian diplomats, I would assume?"
Mayor Ivory Scroll nodded. "They… wanted to stay out of sight," she confirmed. "After what happened in Canterlot, they didn't feel… exactly welcome here."
The Chancellor nodded. "After that riot, I wouldn't expect many diplomats to feel welcome either. Their reaction was quite… justified," he agreed. "A shame they wouldn't tell Celestia much about their world, but then again…" He shook his head. "It must bring them nothing but shame to share the same world as such horrible monsters in ponies' skins."
The two perked their ears as they heard shouting that was increasing in volume. "You don't understand, Medical Records, I never did anything illegal!" a mare shouted, sounding as though she were mere feet from the door.
"I never said you did anything illegal, Superintendent Rich!" Medical Records replied, as the door burst open. In marched a dull, pink-greyish mare with a dark magenta mane, and a unicorn stallion with a cream-colored mane and a white coat. There was some bickering between them. "I only said to come to the meeting if you value your job!"
"And I do value my job, thank you very much! Somepony has to run this three-ring circus of a town's school!" Superintendent Rich argued, frowning greatly.
Medical Records heaved a sigh. "Yes, but that doesn't mean we have to run the schools like a personal fiefdom!" he argued, before adding, "And besides, schools are places of learning, not servitude!" He turned to the Chancellor, and lit his horn to close the door behind them. As he did this, he also grasped the Chancellor's head with his magic, though only for a brief moment before letting his aura dim. "As requested, Chancellor Neighsay, I have brought the Superintendent of Ponyville's district." He indicated her with a hoof. "She has been more or less combative all morning."
Chancellor Neighsay nodded, and lifted a hoof to his medallion as he turned to the Mayor. She hoofed over the goods and watched as he took them in his magic to send them back to the ether. "Good tidings to you, Chancellor," she said.
"Good tidings to you too, Mayor," Chancellor Neighsay replied, before tapping his medallion. Blue magic shot out of it, and formed a portal behind him. He swept a hoof out to indicate it. "Ladies first," he said.
Superintendent Rich sniffed loftily. She strode into the portal, though her seemingly calm demeanor was betrayed by her otherwise pale face. Chancellor Neighsay looked at Medical Records and bade him towards the portal. He nodded, took it, and afterwards the Chancellor followed them both, and the portal shut behind them, though not before depositing them in a dark room.
It was a vast room, one where the Superintendent found herself standing before a row of ponies positioned high above her, aligned in a way not unlike a judge's podium belonging to each individual. Two pairs of stairs stretched on either side of the row, leading up to the podiums, and on each podium was set a name plate bearing that pony's name and district of interest, and a single, solitary lamp only barely highlighting each face that sat next to them, without shining directly upon those faces. On either side of her were two more rows of podiums and stairs, each also as high up as the row she was looking at, and all belonging to a pony each.
Chancellor Neighsay took the flight of stairs hugging the wall at the far back, and marched up to another podium that sat higher than the first row, sitting behind it like a figure of doom and gloom. Behind him was a massive emblazoned logo bearing a shield, some sort of round thing in the shield, and vines snaking up from below said shield. He summoned the sheafs of papers again, and worryingly enough, the ponies below him pulled up sheafs of their own to start perusing as they saw fit. Medical Records kept to the side of the room, below one of the rows, glaring at Spoiled intently.
Once he was seated, he lifted a hoof and banged it on his podium like a gavel. The sound produced wasn't quite like a gavel, but still had the intended effect. "First, we will ensure that everypony is present and accounted for. Swift Wind, Scholar of Cloudsdale?" Neighsay began.
A red pegasus with a cloud white mane raised her hoof. "Swift Wind, present and accounted for," she said.
"Arcane Records, Scholar of Appleloosa and Dodge Junction?" Neighsay continued.
A blue pony with a golden brown mane rose his hoof. "Arcane Records, present and accounted for," he answered.
"Astute Query, Scholar of Fillydelphia?"
A middle-aged unicorn with a somewhat faded cream coat lifted his hoof. "Astute Query, present and accounted for," he said.
"Scarlet Seal, Scholar of Baltimare?"
A red-coated unicorn with a blue mane rose his hoof. "Scarlet Seal, present and accounted for," he said.
"Velvet Horseshoe, Scholar of Manehattan?"
A golden-coated unicorn with a blue-purple mane lifted her hoof. "Velvet Horseshoe, present and accounted for," she said.
"Periwinkle Puissance, Scholar of Canterlot and Ponyville?"
A unicorn mare with a somewhat indigo mane lifted her hoof. "Periwinkle Puissance, present and accounted for," she answered.
"Wisteria Wiles, Scholar of Vanhoover?"
A magenta-colored earth pony lifted his hoof. "Wisteria Wiles, present and accounted for," he said.
"Cloudy Skies, Scholar of Las Pegasus?"
A pink, elderly mare lifted a hoof. "Cloudy Skies, present and accounted for," she replied.
"And lastly, Erudite Lexicon, Scholar of Trottingham?"
A nearly-bald, very elderly earth pony stallion lifted his hoof. "Erudite Lexicon, present and accounted for," he answered.
"Excellent," Chancellor Neighsay said, shifting slightly in his seat. He banged his hoof on his podium. "We are gathered here today to discuss some… unfavorable reports regarding the mare before us," he said, turning his attention to the Superintendent. "Superintendent Spoiled Rotten Rich… the charges levied against you consist of student abuse, student neglect, embezzlement of school funds, helping students cheat on their assignments, conspicuous truancy from your job, wage theft, and misusing school-appropriated funds to furnish your lifestyle. Depending on what you say, you'll either be let off with a termination of your job at the least… or a great deal of time spent in jail for your charges once we turn you over to the guards behind you."
The Chancellor tipped his chin in that direction, and Spoiled glanced behind herself to see two very large, very unfriendly-looking royal guards giving her the gimlet eye. "How do you plead on the counts of student abuse, and student neglect?"
"How do I plead?" Some confidence was returning to Spoiled Rich, and she stood proudly as she said, "I plead not guilty to the fraudulent charges of student neglect and abuse."
"And how do you plead to helping students cheat on assignments?" Chancellor Neighsay continued.
"Not guilty," Spoiled hissed, shaking her head.
"How do you plead to the charges of wage theft, misuse of school funds, and embezzlement?"
"Not guilty," Spoiled replied, sniffing loftily.
"And the charge of truancy?"
"Not guilty."
"Not guilty, you say?" Neighsay muttered, folding his hooves across the podium. "Quite bold words you have spoken, Superintendent Rich… quite bold words indeed." He shook his head. "You see, Superintendent Rich… some very, very damning evidence came into our hooves quite… recently. A little birdie passed on these documents, transcripts, and bank cheques to Princess Celestia, who, in turn, passed it to us."
"Who gave you what?! Who is it? Can I demand that they be fired, banished, and imprisoned?!" Spoiled demanded, stomping a hoof. The Scholars looked at each other, then went back to perusing their dossiers. If Spoiled had cared to notice, she would have seen that each dossier had bore her full name on its manilla folder.
"Unfortunately, Princess Celestia neglected to tell us who gave her the evidence," Chancellor Neighsay replied, shaking his head. "And just as well, she assured me that you wouldn't be able to touch them legally or otherwise, as the birdie… wishes to remain anonymous. In fact, the birdie is beyond even our scope. Indeed, the birdie is beyond the scope of the law."
"Beyond the law?! Nopony in Equestria is beyond the law! Even the Princesses adhere to it!" Spoiled argued.
Chancellor Neighsay nodded. "On that, the both of us can agree," he said. "However, the birdie is… neither pony, nor strictly Equestrian. Where they go, they do so whenever they please. In fact, I hear they've taken quite a few trips to Fantasia as of late, to monitor the sister world's situation. Regardless, they have been allowed… residence in Equestria, on a strictly tight leash."
Spoiled's snout twitched. "How can they take trips to Fantasia?! Are they rich?"
Chancellor Neighsay shook his head. "Not… in the sense that we would define it," he answered. "For the birdie, money seems to have no meaning." He looked over at the first charge in the dossier. "Now, let us begin. We'll start with the student abuse, neglect, and helping them cheat on their assignments. This last year alone, ever since the Elements of Harmony were activated, you had been… lacking, shall we say."
"And how have I been lacking?" Spoiled demanded, furrowing her brow.
"You instill fear into your students, you neglect their needs—you still haven't updated the school textbooks to reflect the most recent changes to happen to Equestria since the Crystal Empire resurfaced. Granted, we've barely had time to print them out before the barrier between the worlds broke, but you should have put some effort into putting forward enough orders to last for the school year," Neighsay began, shaking his head.
"Furthermore," he continued, summoning a set of papers stapled together, and scribbled throughout with childlike illustrations, "you helped one of the students—your own daughter no less—cheat on a school assignment so that she could receive the best grades possible." He opened the dossier, and briefly compared the hoofwriting of the receipts and the school report. He turned back to Spoiled once he confirmed a match. "This is an act which is strictly disallowed by the EEA, and is also the reason that we screen everypony carefully before letting them into cushy positions like yours. Yet, you still managed to slip through the cracks—no more."
"How can the hoofwriting of a child's report match mine?!" Spoiled demanded, stomping a hoof again. Chancellor Neighsay began to regret letting her around the children, and shook his head as he realized she either truly had no idea how this had happened, or was simply dodging the issue to save her own sorry hide. Given the evidence he had, it was probably the latter. A pitiful case of playing dumb if he'd ever seen it. He'd found cardboard putting forth more effort than the diatribe before him.
"For starters," he began again, hoping to put this issue behind them, and soon, "the calligraphy matches far too closely to have come from a child. While children can trace hoofwriting, it takes years of practice—years of practice that your daughter simply does not have, even with your guidance. In addition, your daughter, I hear, has naturally messy hoofwriting—a consequence of you not so much as training her to write neatly, as you are raising her with the wrong lessons in mind."
He produced another sheet with a flash of his horn, of a different school assignment. He compared the writing on it to the report, and instead of a match, he found it wildly different. "Furthermore, this particular school report is the only assignment we have heard you helped her cheat on—a report regarding our sister planet, no less. Why is that?" he asked, lifting a hoof and hitting the report with his pastern, just hard enough to gently rustle the papers.
Spoiled Rich smirked. "Because Fantasia doesn't deserve to have anypony know about it—it just needs to be conquered by ponies who are rich, and its inhabitants made to work like the serfs they are," she said confidently. "It has no culture, no history, nothing of value to the rich."
Chancellor Neighsay slowly, almost deliberately, raised a brow. "Is that so…?" he said, seeming to consider the words carefully. He procured another school report with a flash of his horn, and began to peruse it. "Because three little fillies belonging to your particular school would deign fit to say otherwise. I'm impressed they were able to find the very same Fantasians who were diplomats in our lands to agree to let themselves be the central subject of their school report." He shook his head, then turned back to Spoiled Rich. "At least the EEA is in agreement on matters regarding Fantasia, are we not?" he asked.
A chorus of "Yes, we are!" answered him in a deafening unison, one whose echo caused even the guards in the room to wince a little.
"Excellent. Now, back to proceedings," Chancellor Neighsay said, turning to Periwinkle. "Periwinkle Puissance, do you have anything to say about the academic dishonesty?"
Periwinkle Puissance nodded. "On that charge, we find her guilty," she said, rapping her hoof on her podium once. The other Scholars did likewise to signal their agreement on the matter.
"I-I am not guilty of helping a student commit academic dishonesty!" Spoiled argued, stomping a hoof.
"And yet you suggested that the Fantasians are worthless as our interplanetary next door neighbors," Swift Wind hissed, shaking her head and ruffling her wings. "In which case, I'll take that as a confession on your part." She rapped her hoof once on the podium, a motion that was echoed by the other Scholars.
"And before you start on another tirade, the Fantasians aren't worthless—" Scarlet Seal turned to the Chancellor, seeming to ask a question using only his eyes, "—after all, they did have a school report done on them, did they not?"
Chancellor Neighsay nodded, and turned to Scarlet Seal. "Yes, but did you not receive a copy?" he asked.
Scarlet Seal shook his head. "I did not," he confirmed.
Chancellor Neighsay nodded once more. "Very well; I'll let each and every Scholar peruse the school report… that is to say, the properly done one, regarding our Fantasian neighbors once we sort out this minor kerfuffle. We know astoundingly little about the sister world; this is the first major acquisition of knowledge about it after all," he said, causing the Scholars to brighten a little and even smile here and there. Knowledge of this nature was hard to come by, and some admitted to themselves that they were as eager to learn as the students of the classroom that had that particular school report read out loud to them.
"Now wait just a minute! That report done by those three country bumpkin runts shouldn't be valid! They cheated!" Spoiled hissed, pouting as she glared up at the Chancellor.
"... cheated, you say?" Astute Query said, shaking his head. The properly-done school report was levitated to him, and he took it in his magic to peruse it with as much care as a standard diplomacy session would warrant. He did a quick scan of the very real photographs that were included in the report. "This… this isn't cheated at all… I dare say, it's authentic!" he cried, quickly passing it to Periwinkle Puissance so she could take a look.
"... or I'll just let them read the authentic report now, I suppose…" Chancellor Neighsay said under his breath. Even then, Spoiled Rich noticed, he was smiling a soft, rare, warm smile as Periwinkle perused the authentic school report.
"This… this is amazing!" Periwinkle Puissance said, her eyes widening as she beheld the report. "And this… this is astounding, the sheer volume of photographs that the children who have done this report have taken! I can… I can actually see this place in my head now!" She quickly passed it to Wisteria Wiles, who took it in his hoof.
Wisteria Wiles took one glance at each photograph, then turned to Chancellor Neighsay. "My word! This… this is incredible! Tell us, Chancellor, do you still have that projector handy?"
Chancellor Neighsay grinned, and summoned forth a projector from the ether. He put it on his podium, reclaimed the authentic report, and activated the device to let everypony in the room see the genuine goods in full. A projection screen unfurled from the middle of the ceiling, and light shone on its surface. He summoned a baton from the ether to both direct Spoiled Rich's gaze in that direction, and to start on an overdue lecture.
"Look closely, at this authentic report," Chancellor Neighsay began, using the baton to gesture to its projection on the projection screen. "You'll see that the form is what many teachers desire for a school report, especially ones regarding other countries… or in this case, a city-state on our sister planet." He flipped a page on the school report, to show off some authentic photographs of the Fantasian city-state in question. Interestingly enough, they seemed to have a slime ranch over there, for reasons they didn't know. They also had a city on top of a mountain, populated almost entirely by changelings and gryphons, bearing four flags on that city's entrance, each adorned with a distinct cutie mark whose owners the Scholars couldn't pin names to.
"Fake, fake, it's all fake!" Spoiled cried, shaking a hoof as she pointed accusingly at the projection. "There's no way those three miserable vagrants could have taken authentic photographs!"
"Unfortunately for you, I have personally scried these photographs as authentic, with a bit of outside assistance," Chancellor Neighsay said, shaking his head. "Now, this authentic report has the correct form, the correct parchment, and interestingly enough, correct footnotes and written testimonies penned by very peculiar ponies…" He looked to the Scholars. "Can anypony identify these particular individuals, without glancing at the report itself? I'll give you something of a clue; these cutie marks on those flags haven't been glimpsed within the Equestrian public all that much, if possibly at all."
"... would those happen to belong to the Fantasian diplomats who were here in Equestria a while ago?" Arcane Records asked, frowning.
"Verily. I confirmed the match with Princess Luna; these marks do, in fact, belong to those very same ponies," Chancellor Neighsay replied, smiling faintly. "She wouldn't tell me the meaning of the marks, but I assure you, one day they will be comfortable with sharing those tales—on their terms."
He withdrew the authentic report, and put the other one in its place, the one bearing evidence of academic dishonesty. He flipped to a random page, and gestured to it with the baton. It showed off the far-too-elegant hoofwriting that could not possibly belong to a child. What could have possibly belonged to a child, however, was a sloppy illustration done in crayon bearing stick ponies eating rocks. "The academically dishonest report, on the other hoof, bears no such authentic markings. The writing style is far too advanced, the illustrations are woefully lackluster in comparison, and the chapters are sporadic and equally lackluster," he said, flipping just two pages before the next chapter of the academically dishonest report revealed itself.
Coincidentally enough, the next chapter of said report was the footnotes section. "As for the footnotes and written testimonies…" He flipped another page, and revealed a one-page 'testimony' written by a supposed 'Rock-Gatherer Shadow Quartz.' "There's hardly anything substantial, in comparison with the authentic report."
"Cave ponies hardly have the time to make written testimonies! All they do is mine and eat rocks for a living!" Spoiled argued.
"I call fraud on that!" Scarlet Seal barked, banging his hoof on his podium. "Rocks aren't nutritious to ponies, unless they are important minerals which can be consumed, and hardly anypony has the required strength and genetics to safely crush and eat non-edible rocks! Anypony who's been in a modern-day health class would tell you as much!"
"Simmer down, Scarlet," Velvet Horseshoe said, looking at Scarlet Seal in disapproval. "There is no need for such outbursts here."
"While I am inclined to agree with the both of you," Swift Wind piped up, shaking her head, "we need not resort to foalish antics while presiding over matters such as this. We can have petty disagreements and arguments later."
"Swift Wind is right," Astute Query said with a firm nod. "We needn't stoop so low as to be considered childish. While we, once, were foals ourselves, it does not excuse the outbursts of anypony in this room… least of all, the Superintendent."
"I still find it difficult to believe that a Superintendent behaves in such a manner," Arcane Records said, shaking his head. "It's almost as if the EEA had a gaffe in admitting her into the position."
"Now, now," Astute Query piped up, turning to Arcane, "even the EEA isn't omniscient, nor absolute. At the end of the day, we are just as fallible as anypony else. We'd do well to remember that for the future."
Arcane Records nodded. "Quite. Now, I do believe one of us has something to say?" he prompted, turning towards Scarlet Seal along with the rest of the Scholars.
"I apologize for the outburst; you're right…" Scarlet Seal wilted a little in his seat. "Continue, Chancellor." Chancellor Neighsay nodded, cleared his throat, and removed the academically dishonest report from the projector before it could stain it with its lies.
"Apology accepted, Scarlet Seal. In the meantime, we have some other issues to address. Now, on to the student neglect and abuse… this actually ties into your other illicit activities of wage theft, embezzlement, misuse of school funds, and truancy," Chancellor Neighsay began, his words having a ripple effect through the Scholars, who began to look through the damning dossiers once more. "First of all, and the most paramount, is the quite horrific bullying issue in your school—once again, done by your daughter and her lackey. You're very fortunate your daughter and her lackey aren't that physically violent—maybe the occasional bruise here and there, but that doesn't excuse the emotional abuse your daughter heaps onto others."
Chancellor Neighsay cleared his throat again. "You see… our little birdie told us that, since the barrier broke, they've kept lots of tabs on pretty much anything you could think of," he said, preemptively cutting Spoiled off as she opened her mouth to protest. "The emotional abuse your daughter has done to other students has, in fact, ramped up from her normal fare as of late—ranging from calling her peers worthless for… unfortunate yet unavoidable situations, to throwing their saddlebags into trees, to trying to smear mud into their eyes to temporarily blind them."
He lifted a hoof to cut her off once more. "I know—sounds menial, yes? Standard, even. Trivial, I dare say. Yet… that's what the bullying was, before the barrier shattered and everyone across Mythos' nations lost their collective marbles. But now, I'm hearing reports of bribing her fellow students for the correct answers on their upcoming tests, and berating them to the point of tears if they refuse. Mocking them for their inadequacies, their dreams, their talents—again, to the point of tears."
The Chancellor continued, "Throwing rocks and sticks at them, sometimes missing on purpose to splash mud on them and cause them to find themselves in trouble with the school staff. You, on the other hoof, seem to have no such reservations—just today, Medical Records informed me that he heard you uttering a xenophobic remark towards once of your students, on top of hitting him hard enough to elicit a whine. You even made an attempt on the authentically-done report before you were stopped."
That caused the Scholars to mutter amongst themselves once more. "She hit a student…?" Arcane Records asked, eyes wide.
"And she was about to shred the well-done report…?" Scarlet Seal asked, frowning at the thought.
"Yes—and Medical Records heard that entire exchange, which he telepathically relayed to me as soon as he saw me," Chancellor Neighsay replied, nodding towards the direction of Medical Records. "Please, Medical Records… relay to the Scholars what you had relayed to me."
Medical Records cleared his throat, and stepped up towards the makeshift stage. "Could you dispel the projector for a moment? I have a spell that lets me project my memories like the device, but I require… an unblemished airspace to do so," he said. Chancellor Neighsay nodded, and turned the device elsewhere for the moment, allowing Medical Records to light his horn and shine his light on the projector screen.
The spell had shown events from earlier that morning, starting when school was just opened. The spell showed events playing out through his eyes, as he galloped around town, his voice filtering in through the spell as he asked ponies if anypony had seen Spoiled Rich within the vicinity of the school. "I was sent from the Town Hall to fetch the Superintendent," he said, waving a hoof at his projection. "It took me a while to find somepony, but when I did, it went like this."
The magical projection flickered, then came back into focus as the relayed memory approached a particular pony running Golden Oaks Library. "Did you see the Superintendent of the school board anywhere near the school today?" Medical Records had asked.
"I did. I heard her passing through town, boasting about how she wouldn't want to miss a particular assignment for the sister worlds," the pink unicorn mare in the projection answered. "She said her daughter was gonna ace it. I don't know what the deal is about this assignment, but this is the first time that I had heard the Superintendent actually bothered to attend school because of it." The mare rolled her eyes. "Maybe it's one her precious daughter did, and she wants to be there to force Cheerilee to give her the best grades or something."
"I see. Thank you," Medical Records replied, before the projection became fuzzy again as it suddenly shifted to show off the schoolhouse. "I teleported over to the school straight away, figuring that if she really were there, she would be easy to locate. So I ran inside to fetch her," he explained, as the memory revealed one of his hooves pushing open the doors to allow access. He trotted inside, stopped at a door to the left of the hall, and creaked it slightly ajar—just enough to see and hear what was going on through the other side.
"No. Let me take care of this," the Superintendent hissed, her face a portrait of rage within the memory. "I will personally tear that report up to make sure that my precious doesn't have any competition." She then approached a trio of fillies who held the report, before using a hoof to knock aside a colt standing in her way. "Out of my way, you wretched transplant from Trottingham!" she cried as the colt gave a sharp whine of pain.
"As you can see, this is what I stumbled upon," Medical Records hissed, shaking his head as he cut off his magical projection. "Afterwards, I informed her that she was being summoned, and that I would inform the proper authorities of this gaffe in her demeanor. As for the child's medical report, I'll just fetch it once this whole meeting is concluded, and document that as evidence as soon as I am able."
"Nonsense! I would never hit a student of my school!" Spoiled cried, even as the eyes of the Scholars turned to glare accusingly at her. As they did so, the regular projector shifted back to have its light shine on the screen once more.
Chancellor Neighsay then shook his head, turning back to the petulant mare before him and the entire board of the EEA. Medical Records, meanwhile, was casting some sort of spell that conjured a peculiar crystal that seemed to flicker with the memories of the events he had seen that morning. Spoiled turned to glower at him. "And what do you think you're doing?" she hissed.
"Capturing my memories into a crystal to be submitted as evidence," Medical Records answered nonchalantly. "Even if you try to destroy this one, I can just make another later—every unicorn of my particular vocation and above is required to learn this spell, for situations exactly like this." Spoiled opened her mouth to protest again, when Chancellor Neighsay spoke first.
"And yet, the projection doesn't lie—and in light of this, nor does Medical Records' affidavit lie. You have done all of this, even attempting to shred an academically honest report," he said in a no-nonsense, damning tone of voice, "just so your daughter can be the best at everything. The best in looks, the best academically, the best in wealth and popularity—so that nopony could best her in whatever assignment she would be doing that day, at the expense of the other students. And while that is mere speculation on my part, I have a hunch that the students of Ponyville would agree with me if I ever told them of it. And if I don't miss my guess, you've shredded more than just one report, from a myriad of students, to ensure only the best grades for your offspring—which are, alongside the looks, the wealth, and the popularity, ultimately transient things in the end."
"Those things aren't transient! They last a lifetime for a wealthy family, and should stay as such!" Spoiled argued, again stomping a hoof petulantly.
"... Yes, but what should happen to that wealth, if the family who manages it suddenly… goes extinct? Or if that family is conquered, and plundered accordingly along with the rest of their country?" Chancellor Neighsay replied, causing Spoiled Rich to falter where she stood. She worked her mouth, and he could see the gears turning in her eyes, but alas, she couldn't provide an answer.
It was Wisteria Wiles who decided to answer for her. "In the case of the former, it goes back to the Equestrian Crown, unless a will turns up and it clearly states otherwise," he said, shaking his head. "In the case of the latter, it goes to whoever does the plundering and pillaging."
"B-but it should go back to the family…" Spoiled muttered.
Periwinkle Puissance frowned disapprovingly, a little too enamored with her dossier to bother looking up. "It hardly ever does, in those particular circumstances," she said, examining the evidence with a critical, practiced eye. "In which case: you're simply out of luck on that front."
"Oh quit your whining!" Cloudy Skies hissed, banging her hoof on her podium and making Spoiled jump with the motion. "We're here to talk about your job, not your power fantasies!"
Erudite Lexicon reached over and put a hoof on Cloudy Skies' shoulder. "Easy does it, we don't want to be raising our blood pressure, no matter how much we think it's warranted," he said gently, causing Cloudy Skies to sigh. "Remember: we're Scholars, not lawyers. We can't afford to confuse the two."
"But we might as well be covering legalities here, Lexicon—" Cloudy Skies gestured to the dossier she held using one of her wings, "—because this kind of behavior is something we can't allow in our schools, period."
"Yes, but remember: we can't be everywhere at once. Celestia can't be everywhere at once, no matter how hard she tries," Erudite Lexicon pointed out. "And if even a Princess answers to us, then we have to make sure all of our schools meet our standards by the book."
"Verily," Astute Query agreed with a nod. "But shouldn't we return to the task at hoof?" He turned to Spoiled Rich and added, "The more we delay this little conundrum, the longer she's going to stand there, taking up our valuable time—time that we could use further bettering the schools of the nation."
Chancellor Neighsay nodded. "My thoughts exactly; back to business—we still need to address your other issues, namely the embezzlement, wage theft, truancy, and misuse of school-appropriated funds." He tapped at the damning dossier once more. "First of all, the wage theft and truancy—what do you have to say about that?"
Spoiled Rich flapped her gums uselessly for a moment, before finding her voice and her sheer unadulterated gumption along with it. "I was holding meetings for the school board regarding what to do with our useless sister world," she answered, a touch of pride in her voice.
Chancellor Neighsay shook his head. "Really? Because according to Medical Records and his affidavit," he summoned forth another stack of papers from the ether, "you had been gallivanting around town, showing off and bragging about your supposedly endless wealth to anypony who'd give you the time of day." He levitated the stack over to Spoiled Rich to let her see it for herself.
She lifted a hoof to flip through the documents, choosing to speedread instead of taking a few seconds longer to behold the entire thing and its significance. "Th-th-this is fraudulent! Libel! Slander! I would do no such thing!" she complained, turning back to Chancellor Neighsay. "What is the meaning of this?!" she howled, as the stack of papers floated back to him before she could come up with the bright idea to shred them.
"Really? Because this dossier," Neighsay began, tapping at it with his hoof, "would dare to say otherwise." He began to leaf through the pages casually, almost as though he had done this song and dance before. Once he settled on a specific one, he put it on the still-lit projector, showing off its falsehoods to all of the Scholars present, using the baton to gesture to its damning parchment. Specifically, the baton hovered around the exact date and time of the transaction, ignoring the price on the receipt for now.
It was taken during a school day, during school hours, when the Superintendent should have been in her office as she had alleged. "Let's see… ah, yes, just last week, you took a spa trip during work hours, and bragged about your supposedly endless wealth to the masseuses working there. You also berated a… fairly large, muscular stallion named Bulk Biceps for his, shall we say, unfortunate situation."
"How do you call looking like a misshapen pile of musculature unfortunate?!" Spoiled yelled, stomping a hoof once more. This caused the Scholars to glance between each other, eyes shining with the unanimous air that they realized they might be dealing with somepony in serious need of a concussion.
"Not his musculature, I was speaking about his smaller-than-standard, yet fully functional pair of wings," Chancellor Neighsay hissed, his voice sinking into a cold monotone that would have sent chills down anypony else's spine. It failed to deter Spoiled Rich, as dense as she was. "Yet as you seem to understand it, as is becoming increasingly clear to me, you seem to think that deformities should be slain without being seen, or otherwise locked away from the public."
"Either way, he shouldn't be seen in public! He should be committed to a sanitarium, to live out the rest of his days in solitude for the crime of looking as ugly as he does!" Spoiled argued, causing Neighsay's brow to furrow just ever so slightly. Anypony else would've flinched at the gesture, but not Spoiled—in fact, she chose to ignore the significance of this, all for the sake of her own paltry lies and twisted worldview.
Chancellor Neighsay's eye began to twitch. "If you're willing to spout such rubbish, tell me, then… what would you say about our Fantasian neighbors, the very same ones who were… mistreated enough to make the newspaper?" he asked. "The very same ones… who refused to show their faces to the Equestrian public afterwards?"
"They should be made to kneel," Spoiled Rich answered with a lofty sniff.
That made Chancellor Neighsay's eye twitch again. The Scholars took notice, and began muttering amongst themselves over this development. "Made to kneel?" Arcane Records asked, frowning. "I heard they were militaristic… is she nuts?"
"Seems to be the case, unfortunately," Swift Wind answered, sighing and wilting. "On top of woefully… lacking in her upstairs department."
"How could we have let such a pony preside over an entire school?" Astute Query questioned, glaring at Spoiled. "I'm amazed the only one who bought that bunk was her own daughter."
"When you grow up hearing such nonsense all your life, it's mostly all you'll ever know," Cloudy Skies said, shaking her head. "Believe me, I've heard this same song and dance countless times now. And just when I thought I've hit the bottom of the barrel, somepony has to prove to me that it apparently has a basement." She, too, turned her disapproving glare to the Superintendent. "From whence she drew her intellect, I can only guess, given how far her head's wedged in her own rear end."
"I'm amazed she even had a daughter to corrupt like that," Velvet Horseshoe said, folding her hooves across her podium. "What did she do, commit rape by deception?"
"I would never stoop to such a crime!" Spoiled hissed, turning to glare at Velvet Horseshoe.
Velvet Horseshoe glared right back, but otherwise kept her temper. "Given your demeanor, I'm amazed your indoors section didn't just stand up and quit on you," she said curtly, with the air of having to explain to somepony why they should not be having children. "I'm still not sure how you ended up married to begin with."
"Well, as they say, life does find a way," Erudite Lexicon said, glowring a little. "Even if that way is through entitlement."
"Simmer down, everypony," Astute Query said, banging his hoof on the podium. "We're losing precious time we could be using to do something actually productive; let's move on already."
"I can see that… but we're becoming side-tracked regardless." Chancellor Neighsay took a deep breath to calm himself, one that reminded him of his duty as the head of the EEA. He oversaw school-related matters, not matters pertaining to the law… though he realized that in this case, the two might as well have overlapped today. He also made a mental note to remind the Scholars, on his and their own time, to not resort to unbecoming insults in the future; that was the hallmark of school bullies, which they were not.
"In either case, your altered timesheets say otherwise—and in all honesty, if you were going to lie, you should've done a better job of disposing of the evidence," Chancellor Neighsay said, flipping the dossier around to skip to another page before putting it back on the projector to show off an altered clock-in sheet. Spoiled Rich paled once more upon seeing it. "After all, you've had a habit of throwing away the altered sheets in the bin of your office… the very same bin the janitor always cleans out whenever he makes his rounds. He came upon the time sheets, as well as the receipts and bank cheques, and took them to Medical Records and our birdie, who then promptly informed us of this whole thing." He flipped the dossier to reveal a receipt, and then again to reveal the banknotes, showing those on the projector accordingly.
"In addition, the janitor reported to Medical Records your conspicuous absences, and caused him to investigate your shenanigans alongside the birdie," Chancellor Neighsay continued, noticing and taking delight in watching the color drain from Spoiled Rich's face. "Tell me,” he clasped his hooves and leaned forward, leering down at her, “your reasoning for misappropriating school funds, and skimming just enough to otherwise slip under the radar."
"I… I… I…" was all Spoiled could stammer, her mind whirring ten miles a minute and her mouth flapping about uselessly. Eventually, she did find her voice again, but now it was far weaker than before. "That… that was planted in my office! That… that janitor should be fired."
Chancellor Neighsay shook his head again. "I'm afraid not, Superintendent. The janitor caught you, with his own two eyes, throwing the evidence into the bin as you were leaving the office. Do you recall passing him on your way out at any point during this previous year?"
"... one or twice, but he knew his place," Spoiled Rich answered, the color continuing to drain from her features. Where before she might have intimidated students with her mere presence, now she was reduced to cowering pathetically in place, a shell of her former self. Chancellor Neighsay found it fitting, he had to admit—it was like watching the expulsion of a school bully, when that bully's sentence included an extended tour of juvie hall and behavioral correction. "Not that a lowly janitor needed reminding…"
"And when was the last time you had bumped into him on your way out of the office?" Chancellor Neighsay asked.
"... just last week, before autumn break…" Spoiled answered, before everything clicked in her head and her pupils shrank once the puzzle pieces fell into place. Her legs shook with adrenaline, her mouth clenched shut, and her ears pinned back as she realized she had dug herself in too deep, and there would be no helping her now. She did the only thing that came naturally: she turned tail and ran. Unfortunately for her, the royal guards in the room moved to block her path, in addition to planting hoofcuffs on her cannons. She was turned right back around and dragged back to center stage by her shiny new bracelets, the guards now flanking her and making sure she moved back to her place before her escape attempt.
Chancellor Neighsay shook his head. He gave the dossier of evidence, the written testimony, and other related papers to the royal guard on Spoiled's left, who lit his horn and took it all in his magic before tucking it away in the ether himself. Medical Records did likewise with the memory crystal, which also went into the ether once the guard verified its authenticity with a quick, expert glance. "I do believe… that one action has concluded this matter, if your words hadn't done so before, Superintendent Spoiled Rotten Rich," he said, his voice a damning monotone. He banged his hoof on the podium. “I motion for the immediate removal of Spoiled Rotten Rich from the office of Superintendent. All in favor?” All nine hooves from the Scholars went up simultaneously, as well as the hoof of Medical Records. “All opposed?” There was a clatter from the chains as Spoiled tried to raise her shackled hoof.
“The motion passes. I hereby pronounce you fired, effective immediately, Spoiled Rotten Rich," Chancellor Neighsay announced, banging his hoof on the podium once. "Not only that, but I will find somepony far, far more suitable for your former position to take your place. Now that we have concluded the school-related matters here, you can conclude the legal side of things on your end. I do hope you find a good lawyer, although I doubt even they can save you from your self-inflicted predicament. And by the way… you might be hearing from your husband once you return to Ponyville's cozy little jailhouse suite." Spoiled gaped, but said nothing.
"After all, when he learns his beloved wife is a thief, a slacker, a liar, and a self-centered twat, I do believe he just might turn in those divorce papers," Chancellor Neighsay continued, very carefully keeping the delectable glee off of his face and in his heart as he said the words. As he spoke, he sent the projector and baton back to the ether, and magically rolled up the projection sheet for another time. "At the very least, he'll be able to raise your daughter right, potentially before your fate that now looms behind you becomes her fate as well. And if he finds himself unable to do so, he'll probably just hire a stern, but fair nanny to do so in his stead."
"B-b-but… he can't divorce me! He can't! Our marriage was arranged and everything!" Spoiled argued, pupils shaking as the guards grabbed her bracelets once more.
"Arranged, you say…? Typical. I see now from whence you have acquired your toxic mindset—such attitudes are dying out, I am glad to say. And that means less ponies like you will dare to put a chokehold on our beloved nation with your twisted ideals. If anything, such mindsets contributed to the Windigos' Blight of long ago, and I can assure you, I will see to it that ponies like you will never be given the chance to change impressionable children's young minds to reflect your toxic bile. And, since Celestia recently approved of a new bill that lets ponies forced into such marriages contest for divorce, I think you'll find that you'll be fighting a losing battle." Chancellor Neighsay waved a hoof. "Take her away."
The guards nodded, and dragged Spoiled Rich out of the room. As the door opened to let them out and closed behind them, the protestations started anew, ranging from trivial things to continuing to decry that the evidence was falsified, planted, made to set her up—something, anything that could save her sorry hide.
Once all the noise died down, Chancellor Neighsay stood up from his podium to trot down the stairs. The Scholars followed him, muttering amongst themselves. Periwinkle Puissance asked the Chancellor as they went out the door, "And what do we do, regarding the information about our Fantasian neighbors that has turned up?"
Chancellor Neighsay frowned and mulled it over, and then nodded to himself. "I shall speak with the Princesses themselves regarding this matter. Until then, we can consider it a closed case," he replied firmly.
Periwinkle Puissance frowned. "Are you sure?" she pressed.
"Absolutely certain," Chancellor Neighsay replied, as they trotted down the hall. "For if the Fantasians were wary, then there's a lot they're keeping close to their chests. And I, personally, would like to know what they're hiding if they're concerned about how the public here views them." He turned to Medical Records, who caught up to him, and smiled a rare, warm smile. "So, Medical Records… do you think you would be a good fit for Ponyville as its new Superintendent?" he asked. “At least, in the interim?”
Medical Records jolted at the suggestion. "M-me?" he stammered. "I…" He rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof. "I'm not sure I'm fit for the position…"
"But, you care about the students, enough to stand up to the former Superintendent," Chancellor Neighsay pointed out. He lifted his hoof and touched his medallion, opening up a portal to Ponyville. "I think you should have a talk with Mayor Ivory Scroll, and iron out the finer details with her. Once you have that sorted out, inform us at your earliest convenience, and if you still feel you are unfit for the position, then we'll find somepony who is fit for the position."
Medical Records nodded, and trotted through the portal. The portal closed behind him after Neighsay tapped the medallion once more. The Chancellor continued to smile as he trotted through the hall, glad that he sorted out this kerfuffle before something tragic befell the students of Ponyville.
