The Singing Telegram

by Josh the Pink Gump

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Comedy
Length: 3966

Josh gets an unexpected visit from a certain pink pony who needs help sending out some singing telegrams. Ponification chaos ensues.

Josh was living his normal life until a certain pink pony unexpectedly appeared in his house and asked him to help her send out some singing telegrams. Seeing as though he didn't have much of a choice, he accepts her offer. Little did he know that his life was about to get a little more... exciting.

This story contains TF, a pink party pony, and a singing telegram.

Keywords: transformation, ponification, pony tf, human to pony

Published 2022-03-18 19:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2022-03-18 19:20:03 UTC

The Singing Telegram

I laid down on the couch in exhaustion.

I had just finished another long and boring week of doing the same routine every day: I wake up, eat breakfast, drive to work, lift exhaustingly heavy packages onto conveyor belts for about 3 to 4 hours to the point where my arms give out, drive back home, then lie down on the couch after another exhausting day at work. Sometimes, for the most part, I just lie there and take a nap for about a few hours. Other times, usually when I'm not exhausted as hell, I'd play video games on my PC or chat with my friends on Discord. But today, I just wanted to stay there on the couch and rest until I felt hungry enough to get a snack or make myself dinner, depending on whenever I wanted to wake up.

However, all of that was quite literally thrown out the window as my nap was interrupted by a huge gust of wind, shortly followed by what I assumed to be the sound of a squeaky toy hitting the ground with a quiet "thud". I opened my eyes just in time to see a pinkish-purple vortex rapidly closing in on itself, disappearing without a trace. I tried to tell myself that it was just my imagination, but I knew that it was real; I literally just saw that thing with my own two eyes.

Curiously, I started to get myself up off the couch to get a closer look at what just happened. When I finally stood up, I spotted a small, pink, horse-like creature lying face down on the floor, which, from what I assumed, came from the strange vortex that just closed up a few moments ago.

A mixture of both shock and confusion came over me as several questions flooded my mind. What was that weird portal? Why is this strange creature here? Are we being invaded by aliens? These questions only pushed my curiosity even further. But there was one question in particular that stood out to me.

Was this creature even alive...?

There was only one way to find out.

Cautiously, I slowly made my way over to where the pink creature laid on the floor, careful enough to not potentially wake them up. I bent down and carefully reached out my hand, letting it brush against the creature's fur. It felt so warm and fuzzy, almost like I was petting a dog. A part of my mind was telling me that I shouldn't really be doing this, but I was already so lost in it. I couldn't help but smile as I continued stroking my hand back and forth against the soft pink fur.

I quickly snapped back to reality as I heard the sound of a bubbly feminine voice giggling as the creature started flailing its hind legs around, as if it were effortlessly trying to escape.

"S-Stop it, that tickles!" the creature giggled.

I screamed, immediately yanking my hand away from the creature as I backed away to the edge of the couch behind me. What the fuck, that thing could talk?!

The pink creature stopped giggling and turned to face me, its bright blue eyes staring right at me. "Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to scare ya!" She apologetically smiled.

I was trying my best to take deep breaths, mouth wide open in shock. I tried to speak, but I couldn't really find the right words to say, instead letting out a small whimper.

Looking at the pink creature in front of me, I took time to note her appearance. Aside from her bright blue eyes, everything about her was, well... pink. She had the body structure of a small equine; a pony, to be exact. Her mane and tail were in a darker shade of pink compared to her fur, and they were tangled up in lots of curls. Looking down near her tail, I spotted an image of three balloons, two blue and one yellow, on both of her flanks. I don't know why, but for some reason, those balloons looked strangely familiar to me...

"Here, let's start over," the pink pony said, bouncing up onto all fours. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie!" She extended a hoof out to me, as if asking for a handshake. "What's your name?"

I calmed down a bit, carefully moving closer towards the pink pony. My mind was telling me not to, but I couldn't resist a warm welcome. After all, she seemed friendly! What could possibly go wrong?

"Josh," I finally said. "I'm Josh..."

I extended my right hand out to shake her hoof. However, the second I grabbed onto her, she immediately yanked my arm into a really fast handshake. Hang on, would it be considered a handshake or a hoofshake in this case...? Doesn't matter, but she was fucking strong! It felt like she could tear off my arm at any given moment!

"Wow, it's so nice to meet you, Josh!" Pinkie beamed, still shaking my arm. "I really wish I could throw you a 'new best friend' party, but I kinda don't have time for that right now..." She finally released my arm from her grasp. "I just came to ask if you could do a teeny-tiny small favor for me!"

I groaned. Not because she wanted me to do something for her, but I think she broke a bone or two in my arm. "A favor...? With what?"

"Well..." she began, taking a big breath before talking super fast, "I wanted somepony to help me out with sending these singing telegrams, so I asked everypony in Ponyville if they'd be willing to help me, but nopony was available, so then I got all sad and lonely until I spotted this weird magical portal in the middle of nowhere and thought," She gasped before continuing, "Oh hey, maybe somepony on the other side of that portal could help me out! So then I jumped through and ended up here so I could ask you to help me with sending out singing telegrams to everypony!" She smiled, complete with a little "squee" sound.

My jaw opened in surprise. I was utterly dumbfounded by how she spoke so fast that I wasn't even paying attention to what she was saying. "I... what?!"

"Basically, I just need your help with sending out these little messages to everyone!" Pinkie said.

"Ok, but... why me specifically?" I asked.

"I dunno, maybe because you're the only one I've met here so far!" she replied. "But seriously, can you pleeease help me out with these singing telegrams? Pretty pretty pretty pretty please...?"

I scratched my head. "I don't know, Pinkie... I-"

Before I could say anything else, the pink pony was looking right at me with adorable puppy dog eyes. I knew that I was much tougher than this, I wasn't going to succumb to her adorable pleading that easily. No matter how hard she tried, I would not let her-

"Fine... I'll help, I guess."

...win.

Pinkie let out an excited squeal. "Oh, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! I've never been so excited before in my whole life!" She zoomed up to me and gave me a really big hug.

"Hrk- Pinkie!" I choked through clamped teeth. "Too... tight!"

"Oh, sorry..." She let out a nervous chuckle, releasing me from her tight embrace as I struggled to catch my breath. She then reached into her mane, pulled out a folded piece of paper, and hoofed it over to me.

"Now, let's do a little test run! All I need you to do is to sing the words on that paper to me, got it?"

Fuck, she wanted me to sing?! I thought to myself. Ugh, fine... Hopefully it won't be that much, right...? Regardless, I unfolded the piece of paper and read it through:

"This is your singing telegram, I hope it finds you well
You're invited to a party cause we think you're really swell
Gummy's turning one year old, so help us celebrate
The cake will be delicious, the festivities first-rate
There will be games and dancing, bob for apples, cut a rug
And when the party's over, we'll gather round for a group hug
No need to bring a gift, being there will be enough
Birthdays mean having fun with friends, not getting lots of stuff
It won't be the same without you, so we hope that you say yes
So please, oh please, RSVP, and come and be our guest!"

"Uh, I don't get it..." I tilted my head in confusion as I read through it again. "This thing sounds like a nursery rhyme or something! Am I seriously supposed to sing this?!"

"Yep!" Pinkie beamed. "It helps ponies remember!"

I slightly cringed at her response as I stood up. "Pinkie, I'm not really the singing type of guy..."

The pink pony simply giggled. "Don't worry, you can do it! Try it!"

"Come on Pinkie, this is embarrassing!" I tried to reason with her.

"Do it!" She sounded much more serious this time.

I sighed. "Look, Pinkie... I'm not gonna-"

"SING IT, BUSTER!" she yelled, loud enough to startle me a bit.

"AHH!" I screamed, before reading through the paper one last time super fast. "Uhhhh... this is your singing telegram, I hope it finds you well..."

Words could not describe how god-awful my performance was. Since there was no backing instrumental for me to work with, I had absolutely no idea what the vocal progression was, so I occasionally sang a syllable either too short or too long. Heck, I most likely sang everything off-key, too! Trust me, it was that bad. Even Pinkie laughed at how awful my singing was!

As soon as my horrible performance was finished, I immediately flopped back onto the couch with a groan, curling myself up into a ball as Pinkie continued her giggling fit.

"Wow, that was pretty good!" she said in between giggles.

"God dammit Pinkie, that was so embarrassing!" I cried out, my eyes darting over to the pink pony in question. "I never want to do that again!"

Pinkie let out the last of her giggles and smiled. "Try it again! I'm sure you'll have an... ear for the right notes this time!" As she said that, the pink pony wiggled her ears. I have to admit, that was a clever pun, but I swear I could feel my own ears mimicking hers...

"I told you, I can't!" I cried, turning to face her in embarrassment. "You saw how bad my singing was!"

"Hmmm..." Pinkie thought for a moment. "Perhaps we could fix that!" She then reached into her mane and pulled out a pink cupcake with sprinkles. "Here, try this!"

I eyed the cupcake with confusion. "Uhhh... how exactly is this supposed to help?"

"Trust me," she began, "You'll feel soooo much better once you try it!"

"I dunno, Pinkie..." I said, raising an eyebrow. "This seems kinda fishy..."

"Pleeeeease...?"

Before she could even think about doing her "puppy dog eye" thing again, I let out a disappointed sigh. "Ugh, fiiiiiiine... but I'm only doing it cause you want me to!" Without hesitation, I took the cupcake out of her hoof and ate it.

"Mmm... not bad!" I said with my mouth full. I have to admit, that cupcake was pretty good! The sprinkles really added a nice touch to the flavor.

As I chewed and swallowed the pastry, I felt a slight tingle in my throat. I just assumed that was my body's way of saying, "Wow, that cupcake was delicious!" I mean, it was just that good! Maybe I should ask her for the recipe so I can make them myself sometime...

"I don't understand," I began, pausing to let out a cough before repeating my question from earlier, "How exactly is this supposed to..."

Pinkie Pie resisted the urge to laugh as a moment of realization came over me. That wasn't my normal voice I was speaking with... It was much higher in pitch, and it almost sounded just like...

My eyes widened in fear.

"Oh no..." I murmured.

It sounded just like Pinkie's voice...

"Oh nonononono, what did you do to me?!" I cried out, my voice sounding exactly like Pinkie Pie's. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

The real Pinkie Pie was on the floor, giggling her guts out. "See? Now you have a good singing voice!"

"Pinkie, this isn't funny!" I pleaded. "Change my voice back, NOW!"

"But I still need you to send out those singing telegrams for me!" Pinkie said.

"Not until you change my voice back!" I demanded. "I can't go out there sounding like this! I'll be a giant laughing stock!"

Pinkie giggled. "Aww... but laughter's so good, though!"

"This isn't that type of laughter, Pinkie! They'll be laughing AT me! I-"

Pinkie put her hoof over my mouth, cutting me off and preventing me from finishing my sentence. "Just... try singing it again with this voice and see how it feels, ok...?"

I was about to shove Pinkie's hoof away from my mouth to interject, but I hesitated when a small, quiet voice spoke to me in the back of my mind.

"Yeah Joshie, you should try it! It'll be fun!"

W-What the fuck...? I thought to myself as I shoved Pinkie's hoof away from me. God dammit Pinkie, stop using your weird communication powers and GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

"But I'm not in your head, silly!" Pinkie said, completely out of nowhere. "I'm right here!"

I blinked dumbfoundedly as I struggled to find the right words to say. "Wha...? But... how did you- I... WHAT?!"

"Could you just try it again?" Pinkie asked. "Pleeease...?"

I rolled my eyes as I stood up. "Alright, fine! But then will you change my voice back?"

"If that's what you want, then sure!" she agreed.

"Alright then," I said, bracing myself for the incoming cringe-fest. "Here goes nothing..."

I took a long, deep breath, and without hesitation, began singing the song again. Despite my voice being changed, my singing wasn't as bad as last time, but it wasn't perfect, either. I couldn't explain why, but my entire body felt a little bit weird during my performance. I somehow found myself getting a lot more into it, my hands and feet felt a bit numb midway through, and I swear I could hear instruments playing by the end of the song...

"Ugh..." I felt really dizzy after I finished singing, like I couldn't stand on my own two feet. I sat down on the floor, closed my eyes, and rubbed my hands against my head. However, the moment they touched my face, something seemed a bit... off about them. Opening my eyes, I looked at my hands; or, well... what used to be my hands. Instead, I was looking at a pair of pink hooves. My hooves, which were covered in the same pink-colored fur as Pinkie's. Looking down past them, I saw another pair of pink hooves that ripped through my socks, revealing that my feet have suffered a similar fate as my hands.

"What the fuck?! Since when did I have hooves?!" I yelled. "Pinkie, WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"Whaddya mean, Pinkie?" she replied. "We've always had hooves!"

"Wha-" I took a moment to realize that she just called me by her own name. "But... YOU'RE Pinkie!"

The pink pony giggled. "No, silly!" Then, she leaned in close, and spoke at the same time as the voice in my head:

"We are Pinkie."

Did she seriously just pull a Venom joke on me?!

"No, please... STOP!" I pleaded, somehow clutching my head with my hooves. I needed a mirror, I had to know if she changed anything else before it was too late.

As if on cue, Pinkie grabbed onto my shoulders, spinning me around to face a full-length mirror that suddenly materialized out of nowhere. "Take a look at yourself, Pinkie. This is what you were truly meant to be!"

My jaw dropped at what I saw in the mirror. I didn't take time to notice that Pinkie literally just read my mind, because that wasn't important right now. The good news is, I finally figured out why I felt my ears wiggling earlier! The bad news...? I had pony ears on top of my head, covered in soft pink fur. Aside from that, I noticed that my hair was turning pink and had started to run down the back of my neck, growing out into lots of curls to mimic Pinkie's own mane. My eyes, which were now slightly bigger than usual, were also changing from its usual brownish-green color to match Pinkie's bright blue eye color.

"This isn't real..." I began to panic. "This can't be real! Pinkie, I'm not supposed to be you!"

"Yes you are, silly!" Pinkie giggled. "Don't you remember how much you love your friends? Making them laugh? Being Ponyville's super-duper party pony?" As she spoke, memories of those specific things began to filter into my head; not replacing my old ones, but taking priority.

"You're manipulating me..." I grunted, struggling to resist the ongoing changes in my mind as I turned back around to face Pinkie. "Y-You're manipulating me! You're just trying to take away my old life and replace it with yours! I thought I was just helping you send out those silly little messages to everyone, not actually becoming you!"

"What are you talking about, you are helping!" she smiled innocently.

"THIS ISN'T WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

My shorts slipped off as I tried to stand back up, despite it being very challenging to do so with hooves. Struggling to balance on my hind legs, an audible "boing" sound suddenly played, making me lose control as I was immediately dragged back down onto the floor. Groaning, I sat myself back up and turned around, only to find out that a big, fluffy pink tail, reminiscent of Pinkie Pie's, had suddenly sprung out behind me.

I was breathing heavily at this point. "I... I can't do this..." I quietly muttered. "This is all too much, I can't... I-"

The pink party pony in front of me giggled. "Come on Pinkie, let's turn that frown upside down! Singing along always helps you cheer back up!"

"Wait, no... I-" Before I was able to interject, I heard a familiar tune starting to play out of nowhere. I somehow recognized this tune, and I could feel the song building up in my heart as it grew louder and louder. "Oh no, you don't mean..." My eyes widened as realization struck me. I looked at Pinkie, who kept nodding her head "yes" with a big smile on her face.

"No... please, I can't do this, I... Pinkie, don't you fucking dare... Don't you dare!"

"Thiiiiiiiiiiis..." The moment she began to sing that first syllable very slowly, I realized that it was too late.

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

The music suddenly sped up as Pinkie began to sing along. "...is your singing telegram, I hope it finds you well!"

I tried to scream, but the only thing that came out of my mouth was the next line of the song: "You're invited to a party cause we think you're really swell!" I covered my mouth in surprise.

"You got it!" Pinkie enthusiastically cheered before singing the next line, "Gummy's turning one year old, so help us celebrate!"

Patches of light pink fur starting covering the rest of my shivering body as I struggled to resist singing along. "The cake will be delicious... t-the festivities first-rate!"

Tears started to form in my eyes as I felt my eyelashes growing out steadily. Pinkie Pie, on the other hoof, ignored all the changes happening to me and continued to sing. "There will be games and dancing, bob for apples, cut a rug!"

"And when the party's over... w-we'll gather round for a g-group hug!" I blushed as I felt something going on in my underwear, which I didn't investigate as I was too busy trying to fight off the urge to sing. At the same time, my arms and legs began to painlessly reform so I could stand on all fours, just like a pony should.

The music started to slow down as Pinkie cheered me on. "No need to bring a gift, being there will be enough!"

"Birthdays mean having f-fun with f-friends..." I involuntarily sang, a noticeable giggle now in my voice. "Not getting lots of s-stuff!" More of Pinkie's memories began filtering into my head as I felt my jaw extending out, my lips being forced into a big smile as I struggled to hold onto the last bit of humanity I had left. My hair was now a perfect replica of Pinkie's mane, and the tears in my eyes slowly became tears of joy the more I tried to fight off the final few changes. My underwear slipped off my hind legs as I... wait a second, was I shrinking?!

"And now, for the big finish!" Pinkie happily exclaimed as she prepared to sing the final part of the song. "It won't be the same without you, so we hope that you say yes...!" She leaned in close, waiting for me to finish the line.

"S-So... p-please... oh, please... R...S...V...P..." I struggled as the last of my humanity was drained away from me, a familiar image of three balloons appearing on both of my flanks with a flash of light. I closed my eyes as I let the final changes consume me, no energy was left for me to fight it any longer.

When I opened my eyes, not a single trace of who I once was remained. A big smile formed on my face as Pinkie and I sang the final words of the song together:

"...and come and be our guest!"

A party cannon suddenly went off out of nowhere, showering the entire room in confetti and streamers.

"WOOHOO!" I jumped into the air with excitement as the music finished, landing on all fours. "You were right, singing along really did cheer me up! That was so much fun, I can't believe I never even wanted to try it before! Now... what next, Pinkie?"

There was no response.

"Pinkie...?"

I looked around the room, Pinkie was nowhere to be found. I couldn't believe this, how could she just leave without even saying goodbye?! I mean, we literally just became friends about 30 minutes ago, but still! Unless she was in a rush for a super important birthday party she needed to plan, she would usually say goodbye to her friends before leaving...

Wait a second, why am I talking about this "other" Pinkie...?

"Oh, right!" I suddenly remembered. "I'm Pinkie Pie! Heh, silly me..." I knew that there couldn't be two Pinkie Pies... the Mirror Pool incident happened like, 10 years ago! Unless one of the clones escaped, however... That would've been one heck of a doozy!

I suddenly felt something rustle in my mane. I reached in it with a hoof, and, to my surprise, pulled out a green toothless alligator with purple eyes.

"Oh, there you are, Gummy!" I beamed, happy to see my pet alligator. "I was wondering when you'd show up!"

Gummy blinked slowly.

"Aww, Gummy... you know I wouldn't forget about your after-birthday party tomorrow!" I said, letting Gummy latch onto my tail. "But right now, we've got some singing telegrams to send out!"

My eyes darted around the room as my happy smile quickly turned into a worried smile.

"Just as soon as we figure out a way to get back to Equestria..." I nervously chuckled.