As Jack floated helpless and naked in the endless abyss, he could only cross his arms and wonder where he had gone wrong with his life.

"Oh, but that would imply something ever went right. A bold claim to make for one such as yourself."

A feminine voice he did not recognize echoed through the vast expanse. The comment drew a small amused snort from the man before he could help himself. it also made him realize that wherever he was, and whyever he was there, he was certainly not alone.

"Who said that?" he said quickly, perking up as he looked this way and that, hands slipping down to cover his privates. He could feel a blush settle across his face as he looked this way and that in an attempt to zero in on the speaker. Where the hell were his clothes? He had paid good money for that outfit and yet here he was in the middle of nowhere stark naked in the presence of a stranger.

"Calm down, and don't bother with the hidey hands. You don't have anything down there I haven't seen, and you certainly don't have anything I want anything to do with," The voice rang out again, closer this time.

It seemed to be a feminine voice, one that was getting steadily nearer, along with the sound of clacking footsteps. He zeroed in on the source and turned to come face to face with...

A horse.

Or a pony rather, by the looks of them. It possessed both a horn and a set of large wings. Its coat was a deep, rich purple, and in the breadth of her wings swirled a vast expanse of galaxies. In its mane churned countless nebulae, and between its fiery eyes rested a single brilliant shining star.

"Well damn..." he said simply, his hands slowly falling from his junk and instead planting firmly on his hips as he leaned forward to look the other over. "You're a real freakshow, ain'tcha?"

"Says the hairless ape," She replied with an irreverence that playfully matched his own, seeming unbothered by his insult.

"Aight, aight. Touche, horsey, I'll give you that one," he says with a small chuckle, feeling a bit more relaxed as he banters with the creature. it was a momentary but welcome distraction from-

"Hey, wait a second. What's going on here?" he asked, tensing up slightly as his attention snapped back to the matter at hand. "One minute I was on the wrong end of a busted hot water tank, and the next I was here. Did I uh..."

He gave the equine an uncomfortable look and drew his finger across his throat. She chuckled softly at this and nodded, giving him a sympathetic look. "I am afraid you have passed from your previous life. I'm not sure what's more tragic really. the fact that you died at only thirty years, or the fact that you would have done nothing with your life even if you had lived thirty more."

"Hey! I take exception to that...admittedly fairly accurate assessment..." he finished, considerably more meekly than the sentence had started. "But it's not like I didn't have a good thing going. I had a nice cushy job with a steady check...."

"We both know you hated that job."

"A cheap apartment with all the fixings included...."

"You had a few more years there at best with how bad of a tenant you were."

"Plenty of pals..."

"Half of them didn't even know your name and you didn't know the names of the other half."

"...you know, you're a real fuckin downer, lady."

"And looking over your -ahem-...portfolio was less than pleasant, so I suppose that makes us even." She said with a small frown, seeming to have lost just a smidgeon of her patience with him even in the short time they had been conversion. he always did have a knack for getting under people's skin, and it looked like that translated nicely over to strange equine beings of the beyond.

"Well, you're probably about to wipe me like a suspicious hard drive and toss me back into the middle ages where I'll live out the next glorious twenty years as a potato farmer until I die of malnutrition, so no, I don't think we are."

"Oh hush now, you big foal. If that was how things were going to go, they would have already sent you on your way and you never would have even seen me."

His eyebrow ticked up slightly at this. "Oh really now, so what's gonna...wait, what do you mean they, would have sent me on my way?"

"Oh well erm..about that...you aren't technically within my jurisdiction, actually..." She said, quickly moving on from this with a more confident tone. "But I happened to be over for some tea with ᔑʖ∷ᔑ ̇/ᔑᓭ when you expired, and the two of us decided that it might be fun to do one of our infrequent little exchanges. One of his for one of mine, you see."

"Wait wait, are you telling me that not only is there a god, but there are multiple gods presiding over different realities, and you go around trading mortal souls like ethereal baseball cards?" he asked, his voice steadily gaining an octave from the sheer stress of the outlandish situation slowly settling on him.

She blew a raspberry and shook her head, gesturing dismissively with a hoof. "Of course not, that would be silly and childish."

"Oh thank god, I thought you were se-"

"We also get a kick of pitting you against each other and watching you compete, so it's more like pokemon cards."

He deflated almost comically at the second half of her statement, all traces of hope for a greater meaning to life flickering out from behind his eyes, snuffed violently in the face of the all-encompassing nihilistic gale now ripping through his consciousness.

She smiled wider and stomped her hoof into the ground(?) with a resounding clop, giving him an excited look "See, yes! that! That right there is why I love doing trades with ᔑʖ∷ᔑ ̇/ᔑᓭ, you humans are all so refreshing. it's like taking a shot of straight espresso when your usual is more cream than coffee!"

"So you decided you wanted me in your sphere of influence because I am-"

"A sad and bitter little man, yes! We don't get a lot of those in my neck of the woods."

"Ouch. Well, I'm glad you find me so entertaining."

His expression was less than enthused or amused, and she was quick to pick up on it. "Oh, don't be like that. Not everyone gets the chance to reincarnate without being wiped like this you know. And my creation is pretty swell if I do say so myself, I'm sure you'll at least have a better time there than running down the clock back home."

He drew a slow breath and exhales, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to stay settled and have a think. "Ugh...you know what, fine. It is what it is. I suppose I should at least try to count my blessings here. I...suppose I should at least thank you for going out of your way to give me special consideration, even if it is for reasons I might not find entirely copacetic."

"That's the spirit! No use in moping about it." She said, smiling a bit wider. "If It makes you feel better, You'll be headed somewhere you find at least vaguely familiar. My sphere has a fair number of similarities with what you are already used to. Even if there are some elements you might find a bit odd, it's not like you'll be totally lost. Though I suppose even if you were you’d have plenty of time to adjust, so either way, it’s a win-win!”

“Yeah, sure, let’s go with that,” he snapped dryly as he crossed his arms. “So uh, any caveats or special conditions I should know about? I’m sure there has to be some kind of catch here, right?”

“Oh no, nothing like that! Just live a life worth living this time. It shouldn’t be too difficult, especially for someone with your proclivities.”

“And what do you mean by that?” he asked pointedly, sounding just a tad defensive.

“Nothing bad. Don’t worry, it’ll all make a lot more sense once you start actually getting into things. Here! As a show of good faith, I’ll even let you make one request in regards to your reincarnation and I’ll honor it no questions asked.”

His eyes widen slightly at this ”Huh…well damn. I mean…hmm…” his expression goes from surprised to pensive, a hand coming up to run through his hair as he started to pace slowly back and forth.

She could, of course, be totally sincere. He had no real good reason to think she wasn’t but something was screaming out to him from within, as it often did, that there had to be something he wasn’t considering. What if it was some sort of test, or what if it was a monkey’s paw sort of situation and she’s actually some sort of twisted bitch.

He stops after a long moment of intense pondering and strand sup straight, giving her a confident smile, bordering on smug. “I’d actually prefer to simply be average if that’s okay.”

She seemed taken slightly aback. “Average? But why?"

"I was under the impression there would be no questions asked."

Her mouth snapped shut for a second and she exhaled through her nose. "Well, it's just...I'm genuinely curious. You could be born to a rich family, or I could gift you with abilities beyond your wildest imagination. Why would you settle for just average?”

He shrugs. “Well, being too flashy draws a lot of attention. When you’re good at something, people expect a lot from you. They start making assumptions and claims about what you should or shouldn’t be doing, and they start…really getting on your case when you don’t meet their expectations. It’s… soul-crushing really…”

He realized he was kind of getting a bit outside of what he was meaning to say and shook it off, resuming his previous tone. “Or at least, that’s what I gather. I’d rather be able to just live a decent, comfortable life where I’m good enough. That’s why they call it good enough, right? Because it should be good enough.”

She gave him a soft, sympathetic look, turning her head in contemplation for a moment before looking back to him and nodding. “Well, alright. If that’s what you really want. I’ll make you average,” she said, smiling a bit wider as she seemed to warm up to the idea a bit. “Now, I think we’ve chatted for long enough. If there isn’t anything else you wanted to ask, I’ll be sending you on your way.”

He slowly shook his head “I guess not. I’m mostly just uh…kinda nervous, you know? It’s a lot to deal with, even if I’m prepared for it.”

“Yeah, I get that. But don’t worry, you’re in good hooves, the best even! Just close your eyes, and whenever you are ready to open them, you’ll be where you are meant to be.” She said consolingly, placing a hoof on his shoulder in an attempt to reassure him.

He relaxed slightly and gave her another slow nod before drawing a deep breath and closing his eyes. As he did so, what little that had previously lay before him faded away into nothingness. He was alone, save for the beat of his own heart echoing loudly in his ears.

Then he opened them again, and was assailed by a bright light, and the sound of an infant’s cries. His own cries, as he came headfirst into a new world, filled with all the possibilities that entailed. He was lifted and held, quickly swaddled in blankets and set down. He was unable to move his head with much effect, but was able to turn it just enough to be greeted by the sight of another strange equine, this one with a spotted dark coat, a white mane, and bright golden eyes, a kind, female voice issuing forth from its lips as she pulled him close in its hooves, a pair of wings encircling him.

“Well hello there, little one…” She said softly, clearly tired from her ordeal as she gently pressed a hoof to is nose playfully. Another equine stepped into view, this one a dark green, with a black mane and blue eyes and a pronounced horn. It looked a bit more built than the female and spoke in a deeper tone.

“We did it, Slipcase. Our own little colt,” he said, seeming almost in awe of the miracle of life made manifest he had been presented with. “And such a healthy one too. Look at him. He almost looks like he understands every word we are saying.”

As a matter of fact, he did understand them, but sadly he lacked the facilities with which to communicate that to them. Memories as intact as they might be, it was not much help to him if he lacked the motor functions by which to execute actions based on that information.

He sighed softly to himself, it coming out of him as an adorable little huff. Hopefully, these creatures developed more quickly than human children.

Slipcase hugged him a bit tighter to her chest, nuzzling against him. She smelled warm, comforting to him, though perhaps that was the instincts of his new body in effect. Either way it was…relaxing. He felt safe, content even. She spoke to the other. “Yeah, he kinda does, doesn’t he Buckram.” She said, looking down at him affectionately, a hoof caressing his head, petting him.

Jack heard the sound of copping hooves approach, followed by a feminine voice speaking outside of his range of view “Miss Slipcase, we still need a name for the certificate. Have you received your Revelation of Naming?”

She pauses, seeming a bit concerned. “Hmm..no. not yet. I’m sure it’s fine though. Sometimes it takes a bit after the actual foal birth. In the meantime, you can just use the name…”

Author's Note

And like that we are finally back in it. Afte r a long hiatus to deal with some personal issues and finish a commission, we now return to our regularly scheduled bullshit. I'll be trying a few things I haven't really explored in earnest in this fic, and I have some ideas I hope will pan out really well, but only time will tell ^^.