What's Philomena's Name?

by Fleety

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Philomena, Comedy
Length: 1630

Luna just can't remember Philomena's old name. Thankfully, Celestia is there to help...

Luna just can't remember Philomena's old name.

Thankfully Celestia is there to help.

With a simple prank.

Featured in 12/3/2022

Published 2022-03-11 15:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-03-11 15:50:00 UTC

What's her name?!

Within the walls of Canterlot Castle, Celestia was sitting on her throne as she pondered about many events that had occurred in the day. She had just given her thanks to the last noble visiting her day court.

She looked at her sister, who was also sitting on her own throne to her right side. Luna looked back at her, as if she had thought of something important.

"Sister, I have a question."

"Yes Luna?"

"Tell me, sister, do you remember what was the old name that we used to give for Philomena?"

"Old name?... What do you mean?”

“You see sister. Philomena was a name I don’t recall us giving her. That was a name you probably came up with when I was still banished on the moon.”

“I did? Oh... I did." Celestia's words became softer at the end.

"What was that sister?"

"O-Oh! Nothing. I just said I did." Celestia said, quickly putting up a smile.

Celestia never felt awkward about Philomena being a part of their world. Luna loved the fiery phoenix even though she wished its colours would have complemented her night sky.

"...Hmmm.” Luna continues to stare at her sister, feeling a little unconvinced before her lips curled into a smile. “So… What was her name, dear sister?”

Celestia felt a sweat begin to grow on her chin as she tried to remember the name. Did Philomena really have a different name? She swore her pet Phoenix’s name had always been ‘Philomena’. There’s no way she had another name!

“Sister?”

“Oh sorry! I was thinking of something else. You asked what Philomena’s real name was, right?”

“Yup”

‘Quick! Think Celestia, think!’ went Celestia’s mind. Her mind tried to recall Philomena’s old name but she just couldn’t remember any. Could it be old age that's causing her to forget? Memory loss? Wait, no. If that was the case, she would’ve been a demented mare ages ago.

“Sister you're doing it agai—”

“Foínix!” Celestia blurted out.

“What?”

“Yup, the name is ‘Foínix’. How about that?”

“Foínix? Huh…” There was a moment of silence before Luna snickered before she burst into laughter.

“Oh Foínix! That’s a hilarious name, dear sister.”

“Nope, that really was her name.”

“Y-your… You're kidding right?” Luna asked, bemused.

"Yup that was her name."

“Did we really call her that? I don’t remember a single thing about that being her name though!” Luna pondered. “Hey are you just trying to prank me?”

Prank. Now that’s an idea for Celestia.

“Oh but it was!” Celestia said, a hint of surprise and excitement in her voice before continuing, “I remember it as clear as day! You were holding the egg when it hatched right in your face with a burst of flames!”

“Hold up, I don’t remember that happening. Weren’t you the one that ended up with a burnt mane because Philomena was on your head when it molted?”

“Uhhh, that never happened, did it?”

“Yes it did.”

“No it didn’t!”

“Look, my point is that I still don’t believe it!" Her sister said with disbelief. “There is no way her name is just some set of letters with a similar pronunciation!”

Celestia, however, disagreed, "Sister, I am surprised that you truly don’t know that is Philomena’s true name. Do you not feel any recollection behind that name?”

“Well… No?”

“Why sister, I recall the time we were foals when Philomena hatched from her egg and you called her Foínix!” Celestia proudly recalled.

“What? That’s absurd, if it did happen, I would have remembered!” Luna argued.

“Oh my dear sister it is true, that it did happen!”

Celestia then proceeded to get off her throne to pull Luna into a tight hug as she tried with desperation to convince her sister that this was fact.

The guards on the other hoof were trying their best to avert their eyes away from the surreal scene unfolding before them.

“Sister, what on earth are you doing?” She tried struggling her way out of her sister’s powerful hug. “Sister, stop it right now, this is the last thing we need to be doing!”

“Oh, right haha, right, sorry.”

“Whatever! Look, I am still unconvinced that's her name." Luna said, finally breaking free from her sister. "Why don't we ask Philomena instead?"

"Uhhh... Do we have to?" Celestia said sheepishly. She stared at Luna who was looking back at her with the same serious look. “Okay Luna! Fine!” She finally admitted defeat.

“Yes! Thank you, sister!”

“But we have to race to it first!”

“What?!”

Before Luna could even finish that word her big sister was already off the throne and dashing for the door.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The gardens of the castle are filled with a myriad of plants, trees, and flowers of different species. There are even some hedge walls in the garden.

In one corner of the garden lies a small bird that was trying to enjoy the shade of a tree. It looked sickly, with most of its feathers gone like a featherless chicken. Once in a while, it gave out a haggard cough.

Philomena hadn’t molted in years and it seems like she will soon enter her molting phase again.

The small creature was trying its best to get some rest when it was interrupted by a big white alicorn that was running towards it with a hint of exhaustion on her face.

“Philomena!” Celestia panted heavily, having to run across nearly the entire royal palace, through hallways and staircases, just to get here.

The bird turned to look at Celestia. “Squawk?” It chirped in confusion.

"Listen, I need your help!” Celestia said, grabbing Philomena up in her magic.

This causes the phoenix a great discomfort as it yelps. Its eyes were crossed and unfocused on Celestia, with one eye slowly blinking after the other.

“Philomena! I need you to do your trick and carve a word on the ground when I say it.”

Celestia spends what little moments she had, with great effort, to tell her phoenix what’s going on and what it was supposed to do when Luna comes.

Unfortunately for Celestia, there was not a lot of time and Philomena was just too tired to understand the full situation so she simply opted to just tell Philomena to nod a couple of times when the word “Foínix” is mentioned. Thankfully, Philomena understood this part.

As if on cue, Celestia could see her sister trotting through the door looking breathless.

“Sister… What on earth was that all about?”

“I just couldn’t help myself, Luna. We hadn’t had a race since we were foals!” Celestia explained happily.

“Oh, ha ha, very funny sister.” Luna gave a smile back to her sister before turning to face Philomena, who was now placed on Celestia’s head.

“Philomena!” Luna lifted a hoof and gave it a pat on the head.

In response Philomena simply blinked its eyes from left to right slowly. It seemed as though it would cough again any minute.

“Squawk!” it finally answered.

“Oh, it would seem that Philomena has yet to molt huh?"

“Indeed, sister,” Celestia said. “I believe you wanted to ask what Philomena's old name was, right?”

“Ah right. I still don’t believe you and I will get the real answers from her myself!” Luna laughed out loudly.

She walked up to the featherless phoenix.

“Philomena?”

“Squawk?”

“Is your name Foínix?”

For a moment Philomena did nothing and Luna began to worry until she saw the phoenix nodding its head.

“Impossible!”

“Oh but it is!” Celestia excitedly said, “Foínix!”

As soon as Celestia said it, the bird let out a quiet “Squawk” again and soon began coughing a few more times.

“All this time… it's hard to believe that I’ve forgotten her old name.” Luna lowers herself onto the ground to ponder.

“You know what’s funny dear sister?”

“Oh, what is it?”

“It was all a prank.”

“What.”

“Mhm.”

“What? You're kidding right.”

“No. It was not. Also I don’t even know if Philomena even had an old name.”

“What! Sister, this was one of the most boring pranks ever!”

“Well to be honest, I haven’t pranked you in quite a long time and have grown sloppy.”

“Well… fair point.”

There was a moment of awkward silence between the two as they stared before they giggled at the absurdity.

However, their moment was abruptly cut short when Philomena gave its final few coughs as it erupted in flames to molt. Unfortunately for Celestia, Philomena was still on her head when she burst into flames.

Celestia screamed as her head became engulfed in flames. “Oh god!”

As the fiery creature burned at her mane, Celestia ran around madly hoping to get Philomena off her mane. The plan did not work as the fires from her mane fell off and onto the grass of the garden.

In mere moments the flames had rapidly spread across the garden, burning everything in its way. With nopony around except the princesses, one of them being the sun princess literally going up in flames, there wasn't a lot that could be done to quickly save the garden.

Thankfully Luna had been thoughtful enough to grab her big sister using her magic, separating her from Philomena before tossing her into a nearby fountain.

Celestia struggled in the waters for only a few moments before she dragged herself out of it. She was completely drenched.

“Oh dear, I was not expecting a fire.”

"You know dear sister, this is the first time this sort of thing has happened to us! The garden burning and all!" Luna laughed out loud.

The two giggled as they waited for castle’s staff to come and clear the fire out.

Until they realise they could've used their magic to clear it out.